- today
A departing professor gathers his closest colleagues for an intimate farewell, but the night takes an unexpected turn when he shares a stunning secret about his past. As the conversation unfolds, skepticism and curiosity collide, challenging everything they thought they knew about history, science, and belief.
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00:10:29— in science fiction terms, I would say, perfect regeneration of the body's cells, especially
00:10:39in the vital organs.
00:10:41— Actually, the human body, the human body appears designed to live about 190 years.
00:10:45— Most of us, most of us, most of us, most of us, most of us, most of us, most of us, most of us just die of slow poisoning.
00:10:49— Maybe he did something right, something everybody else in history done wrong.
00:10:53— What, like eat the food, drink the water, and breathe the air?
00:10:56— The human body that river, and we'll be called on coffer, and most of us, and mezclies, and, like, you know, things in the —
00:11:06— Thank you, you know we're —
00:11:06— just the way we're in the air, we're here —
00:11:06to live in. You know what could happen? Yeah, the pancreas turns over cells every 24 hours,
00:11:11the stomach lining in three days, the entire body in seven years, but the process falters.
00:11:16Waste accumulates, eventually proves fatal to function. Now, if a quirk in his immune system
00:11:21led to perfect detox, perfect renewal, then yeah, he could duck decay. That's a secret we'd all love
00:11:29to have. Would you really want to do that? Live 14,000 years? Well, if I could stay healthy,
00:11:36and I didn't age, I mean, why not? Yeah, what a chance to learn. Is anyone hungry?
00:11:43Yeah. Hey, you know, the more I think about it, yeah, it's possible. Anything is possible, right?
00:11:49After all, one century's magic, another century's science. They thought Columbus was a nutjob,
00:11:53right? Pasteur, Copernicus? Aristarchus long before that. I had a chance to sail with Columbus,
00:12:00only I'm not the adventurous type. What? I was pretty sure the earth was round, but it
00:12:05happened. At that point, I still thought he might fall off an edge someplace.
00:12:21Look around, John. We just did. I suppose there's a junk in there somewhere, but I don't get it.
00:12:28It's nothing to get. What are we talking about? We were just talking about a caveman who survives
00:12:35until the present time. As you said, what a chance to learn once I learn to learn.
00:12:42Did you start the whiskey before we got here?
00:12:46Pretend it's science fiction. Figure it out.
00:12:50Okay. A very old Cro-Magnon living until the present.
00:12:59Oh, wow!
00:13:05What?
00:13:07John just confided to that he's 14,000 years old.
00:13:10Oh, John, you don't look a day over 900.
00:13:14Okay.
00:13:14All right, Spock, I'll play your little game. What do you want? What's the punchline?
00:13:20Every 10 years or so, when people start to notice I don't age, I move on.
00:13:27That's very good. That's very quick, John. I want to read that story when you're done.
00:13:31You want more?
00:13:32Oh, yeah, by all means. This is great.
00:13:35All right, now,
00:13:35so you think that you are a Cro-Magnon.
00:13:41Well, I didn't learn it in school. It's my best guess. Based on archaeological data, maps, anthropological research.
00:13:48Since Mesopotamia, I've got the last 4,000 years straight.
00:13:53Well, you're ahead of most people, so please go on.
00:13:56Well, you know the background stuff, so I'll make it brief.
00:13:59What I call my first lifetime, I aged to about 35.
00:14:03What you see, I ended up leading my group.
00:14:07They saw me as magical. I didn't even have to fight for it.
00:14:11Then fear came, and they chased me away.
00:14:15They thought that I was stealing their lives away to stay young.
00:14:19The prehistoric origin of the vampire myth, that is good.
00:14:22First thousand years, I didn't know up from sideways.
00:14:26How do you know the first thousand years?
00:14:28Uninformed guess, based on what I've learned in my memories.
00:14:31Most people can scarcely remember their childhood, but you have memories of that time.
00:14:35Like yours, selected.
00:14:37You know, the high points, the low points, traumas, they stick in the mind forever.
00:14:42Put down at 3 or 35, you still feel the twinge.
00:14:48Go on.
00:14:50I kept getting chased because I wouldn't die.
00:14:53So I got the hang of joining new groups, I found.
00:14:55I also got the idea of periodically moving on.
00:15:01We were semi-nomadic, of course, following the weather and the game we hunted.
00:15:04The first 2,000 years were cold.
00:15:07We learned it was warmer at lower elevations.
00:15:10Late glacial period, I assume.
00:15:13What was the terrain line?
00:15:17Mountainous.
00:15:18Fast plains to the west.
00:15:21West.
00:15:22Something you learned in school.
00:15:24Towards the setting sun.
00:15:27I suspect I saw the British Isles from what is now the French coast.
00:15:32Huge mountains.
00:15:34On the other side of an enormous deep valley that was shadowed by the setting sun.
00:15:38This is before they were separated from the continent by rising seas.
00:15:42As glaciers melted.
00:15:44That happened?
00:15:45Yes, the end of the Pleistocene.
00:15:48So far, what he says fits.
00:15:50Oh, yeah.
00:15:50Into any textbook.
00:15:51And that's where I found it.
00:15:53How can I have knowledgeable recall if I didn't have knowledge?
00:15:57It's all retrospective.
00:15:59All I can do is integrate my recollections with modern findings.
00:16:04Caveman.
00:16:05You're going to hit me over the head with a club and drag me into the bedroom?
00:16:08You'd be more fun-conscious.
00:16:10Oh, John.
00:16:11Let me get this straight.
00:16:11Now, we're not talking about reincarnation.
00:16:14You're not saying that you remember whatever the hell it would be, 200 separate lifetimes.
00:16:18You're dying and being born again.
00:16:20Yada, yada.
00:16:21One lifetime.
00:16:23Some lifetime.
00:16:25Wow.
00:16:25Well, maybe there is something to this reincarnation thing.
00:16:29You're supposed to come back again and again, learn and learn, and somehow, John, you just
00:16:33managed to bypass all the other bodies.
00:16:36Well, what's the point?
00:16:37What about oceans?
00:16:42Didn't see them until much later.
00:16:44So how would you know an ocean from a lake?
00:16:46Big waves.
00:16:48Something else I can only surmise in retrospect.
00:16:51Were you curious about where it all came from?
00:16:54We would look up at the sky and wonder.
00:16:57There's got to be some big guys up there.
00:16:59And what else made all this down here?
00:17:01At first, I thought there was something wrong with me.
00:17:04Maybe I was a bad guy for not dying.
00:17:08Then I began to wonder if I was cursed or perhaps blessed.
00:17:14And I thought maybe I had a mission.
00:17:18Do you still think you do?
00:17:19God works in mysterious ways.
00:17:21I think it just happened.
00:17:32Wow.
00:17:34Hello?
00:17:35Yes, Ellie.
00:17:37What's wrong?
00:17:40Sandy?
00:17:41Coming.
00:17:45Yeah?
00:17:46Do we have Ellie's midterm here?
00:17:48Oh.
00:17:50Yeah, sorry.
00:17:51I picked it up at the periodicals.
00:17:54Got it.
00:17:55No, you're worried about your parents?
00:17:57Don't worry.
00:17:58You passed.
00:17:59C plus.
00:18:00Take care of yourself.
00:18:01Good kid.
00:18:03What does pre-med need with history?
00:18:05Got it.
00:18:10Sorry, guys.
00:18:11John, please continue.
00:18:13Come on.
00:18:13I thought we were done with that.
00:18:14No.
00:18:16Let's go on with it.
00:18:17It's interesting.
00:18:18Besides, I think he's making a certain amount of sense.
00:18:21Right like Hagel, logic from absurd premises.
00:18:24That Van Gogh.
00:18:25Oh, he gave it to me.
00:18:27I was Jacques Bourne at the time.
00:18:30A pig farmer.
00:18:31A pig farmer?
00:18:32I like to work with my hands.
00:18:36He would come out to the place, paint, and we talked about capturing nature and art.
00:18:41Turner, Suzanne, Pizarro.
00:18:43Oh, then all the landscapes.
00:18:45Not in Van Gogh's time.
00:18:46He would have loved them, though.
00:18:48Yes.
00:18:49Well, I don't understand why you can't remember where you're from.
00:18:53Geography hasn't changed.
00:18:55I learned that in Professor...
00:18:56Professor Henson's tepid lectures.
00:18:58But you're right.
00:18:59Where did you live when you were five years old?
00:19:02Little Rock.
00:19:03Your mother, she took you to the market?
00:19:04Mm-hmm.
00:19:05What direction was it from your house?
00:19:08I don't know.
00:19:09How far?
00:19:10Um, three blocks.
00:19:12Were there any references that stuck in your mind?
00:19:15Well, there was a gas station and a big field.
00:19:18I was told I could never go there alone.
00:19:20And if you went back there today, would it be the same?
00:19:23No.
00:19:24I'm sure it's all different and built up.
00:19:26That's the saying.
00:19:27You can't go home again because it isn't there anymore.
00:19:30Well, pictured on my scale, I've migrated through an endless flat space full of endless new things.
00:19:38Forests, mountains, tundra, canyons.
00:19:42My memory sees what I saw then.
00:19:44My eye sees freeways, urban sprawl, Big Macs under the Eiffel Tower.
00:19:52Early on, the world got bigger and bigger.
00:19:55And then, think what I've had to unlearn.
00:20:00And now you're moving on.
00:20:01As Edith said, this talk of mine not aging.
00:20:04When that happens, I move on.
00:20:07Well, it might make sense to set up your next identity, your next ten years, and then just drop into it.
00:20:13I've done that a few times.
00:20:16Even passed as my own son.
00:20:17Oh, you're an engineer too.
00:20:19You're Ben's son.
00:20:20He was a good man.
00:20:22Saves trouble with credentials and references.
00:20:24On the other hand, I've been busted a few times.
00:20:27It's been a year in jail.
00:20:29Belgium, 1862.
00:20:30I won't forget that.
00:20:32For faking a government application.
00:20:34When did you come to America?
00:20:361890, right after Van Gogh's death, with some French immigrants moving on.
00:20:45An answer for every question.
00:20:47Except one, John.
00:20:49Why are you doing this?
00:20:53A whim.
00:20:54Maybe not such a good idea.
00:20:56I wanted to say goodbye to you as me.
00:21:01Not what you thought I was.
00:21:02Well, since this isn't funny, we think you might have a problem.
00:21:06A very serious problem.
00:21:09I've got boxes to move.
00:21:12I'll give you a hand.
00:21:15Would you have some relic, an artifact, a reminder of your early life?
00:21:22Like this, maybe.
00:21:23Thrift shop.
00:21:25Really.
00:21:25If you lived a hundred, a thousand years, would you still have this?
00:21:35What would cause you to keep it?
00:21:36As a memento to your beginnings, even if you didn't have the concept of beginnings?
00:21:41It would be gone.
00:21:43Lost.
00:21:45No.
00:21:46I don't have artifacts.
00:21:50Keep that.
00:21:51Interesting.
00:21:56You could have lied about that.
00:21:59Don't talk about me while I'm gone.
00:22:09Is he serious?
00:22:11If he is, I'm sorry to say he's...
00:22:14Well, how could he have concealed that for ten years?
00:22:17At least he doesn't appear to be dangerous.
00:22:18What are you doing?
00:22:23Checking for a hidden mic.
00:22:25Candid camera.
00:22:28He's fabricating these wild stories.
00:22:30I've never seen him acting like this.
00:22:32Oh, it's crazy.
00:22:34All right.
00:22:35All right.
00:22:35Well, as soon as you can, then.
00:22:39Ah.
00:22:44I love you, you know.
00:22:47I know.
00:22:47Since my first week at the office.
00:22:57And?
00:22:59I care very much about you.
00:23:01But now you know what you'd be getting into.
00:23:04Do you really think you're a caveman?
00:23:06Do you?
00:23:07Could you love me?
00:23:15Why don't you believe in that anymore?
00:23:18I've gotten over it too many times.
00:23:22Fond of you.
00:23:25Certainly attracted to you.
00:23:27Fond of you.
00:23:28Fond of you.
00:23:28That's it?
00:23:35I can work with that.
00:23:36If what I'm saying is true, you and any children will age, I won't.
00:23:46And one day I'll leave.
00:23:47Talk about your May-December romances.
00:23:51The simple fact is I can't give you forever.
00:23:53How long is forever?
00:24:00Whoever really has it.
00:24:05My parents split up before I was born.
00:24:09Then my mom's next marriage lasted, what, a whole three years.
00:24:12Then there's death, illness, acts of God.
00:24:19No one knows how long they have.
00:24:24Or how little.
00:24:28I love you.
00:24:32Take whatever you can get.
00:24:36Like ten years?
00:24:42Why did you do that?
00:24:51I wanted to see how fast you were.
00:24:53Check your reflexes.
00:24:54I don't have eyes in the back of my head.
00:24:56I can't hear a flea walking.
00:24:57I am not in any way Superman.
00:24:59Yeah.
00:25:00Well, I'm a second-degree black belt.
00:25:02Give it another thousand years.
00:25:06Hell.
00:25:06I got it.
00:25:07I got it.
00:25:07I got it.
00:25:08Jesus.
00:25:10Move demonstration, Harry.
00:25:11Sit on it, Dan.
00:25:15I still have questions.
00:25:16Yeah, I do too, John.
00:25:18I mean, are we done with prehistory yet?
00:25:21Remember any of your original language?
00:25:24A little.
00:25:25One thing hasn't changed much.
00:25:30Did you ever do any cave art?
00:25:32Do you know the rock art at Lays-A-Z?
00:25:34Mm-hmm.
00:25:36It was the work of a man named...
00:25:40Gourard.
00:25:40He did a pretty good job.
00:25:42He would draw the animals that we hoped to find, to eat.
00:25:47One day after a fruitless hunt, our chief stomped his teeth out because his magic had failed him.
00:25:54After that, someone had to chew his food for him.
00:25:56Finally, he got us his back, infected jaw.
00:25:59Well, he was abandoned.
00:26:02That's awful.
00:26:04You have to know what to kill.
00:26:06Is this why all your students say your knowledge of history is so amazing?
00:26:11No, that's mostly based on study.
00:26:13Remember, it's one man, one place at a time.
00:26:18My solitary viewpoint of a world I knew almost nothing about.
00:26:22Well, let's talk about what you say you do know about.
00:26:26Historical times.
00:26:27Don't encourage him.
00:26:28He did.
00:26:30Next few thousand years, it got warmer.
00:26:33A few thousand years.
00:26:34See, now, I know you're guessing.
00:26:36You can't get there from here, Hark.
00:26:39Well, then, pray continue.
00:26:42We hunted reindeer, mammoths, bison, horses.
00:26:47The game retreated northward as the climate changed.
00:26:49You got the idea of growing food rather than gathering it.
00:26:53Raising animals rather than hunting them.
00:26:55Am I getting warm here?
00:26:57I bet I am.
00:26:58Lakeside living becomes commonplace.
00:27:01Fishing, fowling.
00:27:02Come on!
00:27:04John, this is out of any textbook.
00:27:05Even yours.
00:27:07You got most of it right.
00:27:09Eventually, I headed to the east.
00:27:11I'd grown curious about the world.
00:27:14I'd gotten the hang of going it alone.
00:27:16Learning how to fit in when I wanted to.
00:27:20East.
00:27:21Towards the rising sun.
00:27:23Yes.
00:27:24I thought it might be warmer there.
00:27:27That's when I saw an ocean.
00:27:31Mediterranean, probably.
00:27:33It was around the beginning of the Bronze Age.
00:27:36So I followed the trade routes from the east.
00:27:39Copper, tin.
00:27:40Learning languages as I went.
00:27:42Everywhere.
00:27:44Creation.
00:27:44Myths.
00:27:46New gods.
00:27:48So many.
00:27:49So different.
00:27:49And I finally realized that it was probably all hogwash.
00:27:54So I was Sumerian for 2,000 years.
00:27:57Then finally Babylonian.
00:27:58Hunter Hammurabi.
00:27:59Great man.
00:28:01And I sailed as a Phoenician for a time.
00:28:03See, moving on had been easier as a hunter-gatherer.
00:28:06Difficult when villages emerged.
00:28:11Tougher still in city-states where authority was centralized.
00:28:14Strangers were suspect.
00:28:16It seemed as though I was always moving on.
00:28:20I learned some new tricks.
00:28:22Even faked my death a couple of times.
00:28:26I continued east.
00:28:28To India.
00:28:30Luckily at the time of...
00:28:32the Buddha.
00:28:34Luckily.
00:28:34Most extraordinary man I've ever known.
00:28:40He taught me things I'd never thought about before.
00:28:43You studied with the Buddha?
00:28:46Until he died.
00:28:49He knew there was something different about me.
00:28:52I never told him.
00:28:54This is fascinating.
00:28:57I almost wish it were true.
00:29:00If it was true...
00:29:02Why are you telling us?
00:29:03I mean, we might leave here today.
00:29:05We'll go out there and tell everybody.
00:29:06It would vanish in disbelief.
00:29:09A story that goes around the room.
00:29:11No credibility.
00:29:13Even if I could make you believe me.
00:29:16In a month you wouldn't.
00:29:19Some of you would call me a psychopath.
00:29:21Others would be angry at a pointless joke.
00:29:23Well, John, some of us are angry now.
00:29:25This was a bad idea.
00:29:28I love you all and I do not want to put you through anything.
00:29:31Then why are you doing it?
00:29:34Because I wanted to say goodbye.
00:29:35As yourself.
00:29:36Well, I think you've done that, whoever that self is.
00:29:39Easy, Edith.
00:29:40But just grading is homework.
00:29:41I see what's going on.
00:29:43You're playing the good cop, Dan.
00:29:44That's fine.
00:29:45Just enjoy it.
00:29:46I think this whole thing is just a crock.
00:29:49I should leave, but I'm going to stay.
00:29:50You know why?
00:29:51Because I want to see what the hell this is all about.
00:29:53Yeah, so do I.
00:29:53What is this all about?
00:29:54Well, let's ask Dr. Freud, who's just arrived.
00:29:57Hey, Will.
00:29:58Will.
00:30:00All right.
00:30:00John, I'm glad I caught you.
00:30:05Someone mentioned that you were leaving today?
00:30:07Called you, told you that I've lost it.
00:30:08I'm glad you're here.
00:30:09Things are going in unexpected directions.
00:30:11Yes, so I hear.
00:30:13Hi.
00:30:14Are you hungry?
00:30:16Ah, thank you.
00:30:17No.
00:30:17Whiskey?
00:30:18Johnny Walker Green.
00:30:19Oh, yes.
00:30:24You look very familiar, my dear.
00:30:26Linda Murphy.
00:30:27I'm in your Tuesday Psych One class, Dr. Gruber.
00:30:30Ah, well, this lesson may be something I could not have imagined.
00:30:35I regret being so obvious about this, John, but these people are all very concerned for you.
00:30:43Yes, I'm cutting out paper dinosaurs.
00:30:47I really wish I'd been here from the beginning.
00:30:49Me too.
00:30:50Let me just say something right now.
00:30:52I mean, there's absolutely no way in the whole world for John to prove his story to us.
00:30:57It's just like there's no way for us to disprove it.
00:31:00No matter how outrageous we think it is, no matter how highly trained some of us think
00:31:05we are, there's absolutely no way to disprove it.
00:31:08Our friend is either a caveman, liar, or nut.
00:31:12So while we're thinking about that, why don't we just go with it?
00:31:17I mean, hell, who knows?
00:31:18He might jolt us into believing him.
00:31:20Or we might jolt him back to reality.
00:31:22Believing?
00:31:23Who's reality?
00:31:25So, you're a caveman?
00:31:27Yes.
00:31:28Uh, uh, I was a Cro-Magnon, I think.
00:31:32You don't know if you're a caveman or not?
00:31:34Well, no, I'm sure about that.
00:31:36A Cro-Magnon, then.
00:31:37When did you first realize this?
00:31:39When the Cro-Magnon was first identified.
00:31:42When anthropology gave them a name, I had mine.
00:31:45Well, please continue.
00:31:47I'm sure you must have more to say.
00:31:49Would you like for me to lie on the couch, Doctor?
00:31:51As you wish.
00:31:52As a physician, I'm curious.
00:31:58In this enormous lifetime you describe, have you ever been ill?
00:32:03Sure, as much as anyone.
00:32:05Seriously ill?
00:32:06Sometime.
00:32:08Of what?
00:32:09Do you know?
00:32:10In prehistory, I can't tell you.
00:32:11Maybe pneumonia once or twice.
00:32:15Last few hundred years, I've gotten over typhoid, yellow fever, smallpox.
00:32:21I survived the Black Plague.
00:32:23Bubonic.
00:32:24Well, that's terrible.
00:32:26More so than history describes.
00:32:28And smallpox.
00:32:29But you're not scarred.
00:32:31I don't scar.
00:32:32No, John, that is not possible.
00:32:33Please, let's take John's story at face value and explore it from that perspective.
00:32:38If he doesn't scar, it's no stranger than the rest of it.
00:32:41John, would you please stop by my lab before you take off, suffer a few tests from your friendly neighborhood biologist.
00:32:47I'm leery of labs.
00:32:49Afraid I might go in and stay for a thousand years while cigarette-smoking men try to figure me out.
00:32:53You don't think that I would betray you in any way?
00:32:55No, walls have ears.
00:32:57Medical tests might be a way of proving what you say.
00:32:59I don't want to prove it.
00:33:01So you're telling us this is the yarn of the century, and you don't care if we believe it or not?
00:33:04I guess I shouldn't have expected you to.
00:33:06You're not as crazy as you think I am.
00:33:08Amen.
00:33:09I've always liked you.
00:33:11Well, thank you, dear.
00:33:12Well, that's changing.
00:33:13Oh, surely you don't believe this nonsense.
00:33:15I think we should remain courteous to someone who we've known and trusted, Edith.
00:33:18Here you said you can't break his story.
00:33:22All you can do is thumb your nose at it.
00:33:24Is that what you're doing, John?
00:33:26Are you laughing at us inside?
00:33:28I wish you didn't feel that way.
00:33:29Well, what you're saying, it offends common sense.
00:33:32So does relativity.
00:33:34Quantum mechanics.
00:33:35That's the way nature works.
00:33:37Yeah, but your story doesn't fit into nature as we know it.
00:33:41But we know so little, Dan.
00:33:43We know so little.
00:33:45I mean, how many of you know five geniuses in your field that you disagree with?
00:33:48One you would like to strangle.
00:33:50Oh, strangle them all.
00:33:52Damn it, Dan.
00:33:52It's bad enough we have to listen to Harry's idiotic jokes.
00:33:55Thank you very much, Edith.
00:33:56Maybe when I'm 110, I'll be as smart as you are.
00:33:58If you lived as long as John did, you still wouldn't grow up.
00:34:01Oh, come on, guys.
00:34:02Take it easy.
00:34:04How often do we get to meet someone who says he's a Stone Age man?
00:34:09He wants us enough.
00:34:11Edith.
00:34:12All right, a guy with your mind, you would have studied a great deal.
00:34:16I have 10 degrees, including all of yours.
00:34:20Except yours, Will.
00:34:22That makes me feel a trifle Lilliputian.
00:34:24That's over the span of 170 years.
00:34:27I got my biology degree at Oxford in 1840.
00:34:30So I'm a little behind the times.
00:34:32The same in other areas.
00:34:34I can't keep up with the new stuff that comes along.
00:34:36No one can.
00:34:37Not even in their specialty.
00:34:38So much for the myth of the super-wise, all-knowing immortal.
00:34:42I see your point, Todd.
00:34:44No matter how long a man lives, he can't be in advance of his times.
00:34:47He can't know more than the best of the race knows.
00:34:50If that.
00:34:52I mean, when the world learned it was round, you learned it.
00:34:55It took some time.
00:34:56News traveled slowly.
00:34:57Four communications were fancy.
00:34:59There were social obstacles, preconceptions, screams from the church.
00:35:05Ten doctorates.
00:35:06That's impressive, John.
00:35:07Did you teach them?
00:35:08Some?
00:35:10You might have all done the same.
00:35:12Living 14,000 years didn't make me a genius.
00:35:15I just had time.
00:35:17Time.
00:35:18We can't see it.
00:35:19We can't hear it.
00:35:20We can't weigh it.
00:35:21We can't measure it in a laboratory.
00:35:22It's our subjective sense of becoming what we are.
00:35:28Instead of what we were a nanosecond ago, becoming what we will be in another nanosecond.
00:35:33The whole B.C. time is a landscape existing before and behind us, and we move through it slice by slice.
00:35:42Clocks measure time.
00:35:43No, they measure themselves.
00:35:45The objective referent of a clock is another clock.
00:35:47Very interesting.
00:35:48What has it got to do with John?
00:35:49Oh, he might be a man who lives outside of time as we know it.
00:35:59Yes, well, people do go around armed these days.
00:36:04If I shot you, John, you're immortal.
00:36:08Would you survive this?
00:36:10I never said I was immortal, just old.
00:36:13I might die, and then you could wander the rest of your incarcerated life for what you shot.
00:36:17Oh, uh, may I?
00:36:24Preferable to a gun.
00:36:26Well, that was a bit much.
00:36:29Ooh.
00:36:31Books?
00:36:32Doctorates?
00:36:34Yes, you have grown and changed.
00:36:37But there is always innate nature.
00:36:41Wouldn't you be more comfortable squatting in the backyard?
00:36:43Sometimes I do, well, look up at the stars, wonder.
00:36:48And what did primitive man make of them?
00:36:50A great mystery.
00:36:52There were gods up there that shamans who knew about them told us.
00:36:57They still do.
00:37:00Have you ever wished it would end?
00:37:02No.
00:37:0514,000 years.
00:37:08Injuries, illness, disasters.
00:37:11You've survived them all.
00:37:13You're a very lucky man.
00:37:21Come in.
00:37:21John Oldman?
00:37:26Yes.
00:37:27Charity now.
00:37:28We're here to pick up the furniture.
00:37:29It's all yours.
00:37:31Here, take this chair.
00:37:32I'm gonna go drink in the corner.
00:37:36You're, uh, you're donating it?
00:37:39Everything?
00:37:40I'll get more.
00:37:41He always traveled his life.
00:37:43It's the only way to move.
00:37:43You've talked a good deal about your extraordinary amount of living.
00:37:53What do you think of dying, John?
00:37:55Do you fear death?
00:37:57Who wouldn't?
00:37:58How did primitive man regard death?
00:38:01We had the practical concept.
00:38:03Stopped, fell down, didn't get up.
00:38:06Started to smell bad, come apart.
00:38:09Injuries we could understand if someone's insides were all over the ground.
00:38:13Infections.
00:38:16They were, uh, mysterious.
00:38:20Aging.
00:38:22Biggest mystery of all.
00:38:23You realize you were different.
00:38:26Longer to realize how I was different.
00:38:29To find a way to synthesize my experience into a view of myself.
00:38:34At first I thought everybody had something wrong with them.
00:38:37They got old, they died.
00:38:39Animals too.
00:38:41But not me.
00:38:43Oh, forgive me, my dear.
00:38:48You live simply.
00:38:49I've owned castles, but why leave a lot if you're always leaving?
00:38:53I have money.
00:38:54What, did you get into AT&T at 50 cents, John?
00:38:57As one grows older, the days, weeks, months go by more quickly.
00:39:07What does a day, or a year, or a century mean to you?
00:39:13The birth-death cycle.
00:39:14Turbulence.
00:39:15Turbulence.
00:39:17I meet someone.
00:39:18Run a name, say a word, they're gone.
00:39:21Others come like waves, rise, fall.
00:39:27Ripples in a wheat field blown by the wind.
00:39:29You ever get tired of it all?
00:39:31Well, I get bored now and then.
00:39:33They keep making the same stupid mistakes, over and over.
00:39:37Hey.
00:39:38Then you see yourself as separate from the rest of humanity.
00:39:43I didn't mean it that way.
00:39:44But, of course, I am.
00:39:51Are you comfortable knowing that you have lived while everyone you knew, everyone you knew, John, has died?
00:39:59I've regretted losing people.
00:40:01Often.
00:40:02Have you ever felt guilt about that?
00:40:04Something akin to survivor's guilt?
00:40:07In a strict psychological sense?
00:40:09I suppose I have.
00:40:10Yeah.
00:40:10Well, what can I do about it?
00:40:17Indeed.
00:40:20I'm sorry, man.
00:40:21Gentlemen, I'm going to keep the couch.
00:40:24Thanks.
00:40:25Ladies?
00:40:26Will?
00:40:27You've got a heart condition?
00:40:28Don't grump about it.
00:40:30Hey, how about changing the subject, Will?
00:40:31Enough with the dye?
00:40:33But this is the flip side of his coin, Harry.
00:40:37I'm very curious to know his feelings.
00:40:39Would you prefer I asked him about his father?
00:40:42I thought you always started with, tell me about your mother.
00:40:45Yes, but prehistory was strongly patriarchal.
00:40:49Surely you remember your father.
00:40:51I seem to remember a figure.
00:40:55Perhaps an older brother, a social father, maybe.
00:40:58Well, no matter.
00:41:00I could scarcely remember mine.
00:41:02Do you feel a vacancy in your life about that, John?
00:41:08Something you wish could be filled by a face, a voice, an image?
00:41:15Not at this late day.
00:41:17There must be someone, probably many, that you valued intensely.
00:41:21Loved.
00:41:23You saw them age and die.
00:41:26A friend, a colleague, a wife.
00:41:30Certainly you've had wives and children.
00:41:33I'd move on.
00:41:34I had to move on.
00:41:36Making him history is the biggest bigamist.
00:41:38Have you ever in your life thought it should have been me?
00:41:46Maybe.
00:41:47Your art has told me that some of your early fellows feared you were stealing their lives.
00:41:54Have you thought that perhaps you were?
00:41:56Perhaps you are.
00:41:58There have always been legends of such a thing.
00:42:00A creature, not quite human.
00:42:03Taking not the blood, but the life force itself.
00:42:07My God, Will.
00:42:09Unconsciously, perhaps, by some biological or psychic mechanism that we can only guess at?
00:42:17I'm not saying you would do such a thing deliberately.
00:42:19I'm not saying that you would even know how to.
00:42:23Would you?
00:42:25But would such a thing be fair?
00:42:29So you believe me then?
00:42:30I'm only exploring what you have said.
00:42:33And whether I believe it or not is of no importance.
00:42:37We will die.
00:42:39You will live.
00:42:41Will you come to my funeral, John?
00:42:43It will.
00:42:44You've gone too far.
00:42:46John didn't ask to be what he is.
00:42:48And we did not ask to hear about it.
00:42:50But if it were true, is there one among us who would not feel envy?
00:42:56Even perhaps a touch of hatred?
00:42:59You told us of yourself, John.
00:43:02Can you imagine how we feel?
00:43:04I never thought of that.
00:43:05Since you may not die, while me most assuredly will, there must be a reason for that, no?
00:43:13Perhaps you are an expert.
00:43:14Uh, that's it, Mr. Oldman.
00:43:18Have a good one.
00:43:20You too.
00:43:24Or are you a vampire, John?
00:43:27Even an unknowing one.
00:43:30Do you stand alive and tall in a graveyard that you helped to fill?
00:43:34That's going too far.
00:43:36Bored.
00:43:37Perhaps lonely because your heart cannot keep its treasures.
00:43:41Is that what you're doing?
00:43:42Do you think, have you led a wrongful life?
00:43:47Well, then, perhaps, it is time to die.
00:43:54Oh, wait a minute.
00:43:54Now, look, I don't know what John is doing.
00:43:57But I sure as hell don't like what you're doing.
00:43:59Now, you give me that gun or I'm going to break your goddamn arm.
00:44:02Now, you sound like our football coach, Dan.
00:44:05What do you think, John?
00:44:07A shot to the arm?
00:44:10Perhaps we could watch it heal.
00:44:11I'll put it in the head.
00:44:15What exactly will happen?
00:44:22I have papers to correct.
00:44:25As much as I dislike that job,
00:44:27it will be preferable to this.
00:44:29I leave you with it.
00:44:36Jesus Christ.
00:44:39What the hell was that all about?
00:44:40Where'd he get a gun?
00:44:42We had you on the ropes, John.
00:44:43You're really so damn smart.
00:44:45It's not like Will.
00:44:48Mary passed away yesterday.
00:44:49Will.
00:44:50Who?
00:44:53Who?
00:44:55His wife.
00:44:57She had pancreatic cancer.
00:45:01Will.
00:45:04I didn't know about Mary.
00:45:06I'm sorry.
00:45:07I can see how this might have hit you.
00:45:09Please.
00:45:10Permit me to be infantile by myself.
00:45:13Will.
00:45:13Please.
00:45:32What the hell were you thinking, Art?
00:45:33Oh, come on.
00:45:34Something had to be done.
00:45:35I have to say I agree.
00:45:37And he's our friend.
00:45:39Whatever else on earth is going on,
00:45:41he's our friend.
00:45:41You sure about that?
00:45:42Why the hell are you being so hard on him, Evelyn?
00:45:44One of my favorite people has disappeared.
00:45:48Can you get Alzheimer's at 35?
00:45:51Maybe I'm trying to wake him up.
00:45:55Maybe I'm too sad to cry.
00:46:02What I said about myself hurt him.
00:46:05He struck back.
00:46:06Expertly.
00:46:07That stuff about stealing life forces.
00:46:10I've always wondered about the reasons.
00:46:19Well.
00:46:21Still have an afternoon to kill, right?
00:46:25Charades?
00:46:29No, John.
00:46:30I have a charade, and it's just for you.
00:46:33All right?
00:46:33Sandy, come here.
00:46:34No, come on, come on, come on.
00:46:35Come on.
00:46:36Okay, this one's for you.
00:46:37All right?
00:46:38Ready?
00:46:39My first wedding?
00:46:56There you go.
00:46:57There you go.
00:46:59Very good.
00:46:59And I bet at least one of us is your direct descendant.
00:47:02And I'd even send a Christmas card.
00:47:04Christmas card?
00:47:05What about a birthday card?
00:47:06And don't even get me started on the candles with the blowing and the...
00:47:10For years with the blowing.
00:47:12Yeah, all right, I tried.
00:47:16Well, uh, call me underdeveloped, but I'd like to hear more.
00:47:24Me too.
00:47:26More.
00:47:26Do you double damn swear this isn't some cockamamie science fiction story or, uh, you're pulling
00:47:32on us?
00:47:34Next question.
00:47:36You, you, you realize this is an invitation to men in white suits with happy pillows?
00:47:41Well, think about it.
00:47:41A mechanism allowing survival for thousands of years?
00:47:45Run out of room even faster.
00:47:47Well, then we'd have to go to Mars as a colony, as we expand it, as we'd have to.
00:47:51I'd like that.
00:47:53On a planet of another star.
00:47:55I envy you.
00:47:57Did he have a pet dinosaur?
00:48:00They were a little bit before my time.
00:48:02At least something is.
00:48:03I doubt you could give us a thousand details, John, corroborating your story.
00:48:07From the Madeline to the Buddha to now.
00:48:09Ten thousand.
00:48:11And you could say out of the books.
00:48:13It's getting chilly.
00:48:15Here.
00:48:16Over here, join me.
00:48:16Well, that, uh, raises an interesting question, John.
00:48:23Could there be others like you who escaped the aging process that you have?
00:48:27Representing something terrific we don't even know about biology.
00:48:29Learning all the time.
00:48:31Yeah, but how would he know?
00:48:31He doesn't wear an armband, an ID badge, saying yabba-dabba-doo.
00:48:35Now, there was a man in the 1600s that I met.
00:48:38Where were you in 1292 A.D.?
00:48:41Where were you a year ago on this date?
00:48:43Anyway, it was the 1600s.
00:48:48I met a man, and I had a hunch that he was like me.
00:48:52So I told him.
00:48:53Ah.
00:48:54See, you said this was a first.
00:48:57I forgot.
00:48:58A crack in your story, John.
00:49:00A touch of senility.
00:49:02Anyway, he said yes.
00:49:04But from another time, another place.
00:49:06We talked for two days.
00:49:07It was all pretty convincing, but we couldn't be sure.
00:49:11We each confirmed what the others said, but how did we know if the confirmation was genuine or an echo?
00:49:18I knew I was kosher.
00:49:20But I thought, maybe he's playing a game on me.
00:49:24You know, a scholar of all we spoke about.
00:49:26He said he was inclined to the same reservation.
00:49:30Oh, that's interesting.
00:49:32Just as we could never be sure, even if we wanted to.
00:49:35I mean, if we were sure, you couldn't be sure of that.
00:49:38We parted agreeing to keep in touch.
00:49:40Of course, we didn't.
00:49:42And 200 years later, I thought I saw him at a train station in Brussels.
00:49:47Lost him in the crowd.
00:49:48Oh, what a shame.
00:49:49I mean, if it were true.
00:49:53Okay, here's one for you.
00:49:54What do you do in your spare time?
00:49:57Oh, every 50 years or so, when I want to get away from the rush, I go down to a primitive tribe in New Guinea where I'm worshipped as an immortal god.
00:50:05They have a huge statue of me.
00:50:08It's a big party.
00:50:10I've got a lot of pictures of it, but I've already packed them up.
00:50:12I'm sorry.
00:50:13I won't make the obvious nasty crack about more unwashed cavemen.
00:50:16Actually, bathing was the style until the Middle Ages, and the church told us it was sinful to wash away God's dirt.
00:50:23So people were sewn into their underwear in October, and they popped out in April.
00:50:27You said you just happened.
00:50:29I don't believe that.
00:50:31If your story's true, why did God allow you to have them?
00:50:36That makes an interesting point.
00:50:39Are you religious, John?
00:50:40I don't follow a known religion.
00:50:42No.
00:50:43Ever.
00:50:44Long time ago, I did.
00:50:46Like most people, some just never get over it.
00:50:50To you, leaving God.
00:50:53As Laplace said, I have no need of that hypothesis.
00:50:58He may be around, though.
00:50:59He's everywhere.
00:51:00We just can't see him.
00:51:02If this was the best I could do, I'd be hiding, too.
00:51:05And creation.
00:51:07It's here.
00:51:08I'm not so sure it was created.
00:51:10What, then?
00:51:10Maybe it's just accumulated fields, affecting fields.
00:51:15What about the source of the field energies?
00:51:17Wouldn't that imply a prime mover?
00:51:19I'd wonder about the source of the prime mover, infinite regress, but that doesn't imply anything to me.
00:51:25Back to the mystery.
00:51:26Well, it's a very old question, but there's no answer accepted in religious terms.
00:51:32If you have faith, it's answered.
00:51:35Did you ever meet any person from our religious history?
00:51:39A biblical figure?
00:51:41In a way.
00:51:42Who?
00:51:42We should skip this one.
00:51:45No, no, no, skip it.
00:51:46Come on.
00:51:47Next question.
00:51:48No, come on.
00:51:49Come on, John.
00:51:50You can't let this run.
00:51:51Come on, come on, spit it out.
00:51:52Good Lord.
00:51:53You were one of them.
00:51:54This is going in a direction that I didn't expect.
00:51:57I hoped it wouldn't.
00:51:58We call it a night.
00:52:00Come on.
00:52:01You were someone in religious history?
00:52:04Yes.
00:52:05In the Bible?
00:52:07Yes.
00:52:07Someone we know?
00:52:08How could we not know someone in the Bible?
00:52:10I mean, somebody important.
00:52:11You may think you know him, but it's mostly myth.
00:52:15The entire Bible is mostly myth and allegory, with maybe some basis in historical events.
00:52:23You were part of that history?
00:52:27Yes.
00:52:28Moses.
00:52:30Moses was based on Mises, a Syrian myth.
00:52:34In their earlier versions, all found floating on water.
00:52:38Staff that changed to a snake.
00:52:39Waters that were parted so followers could be led to freedom.
00:52:44And even receive laws on stone or wooden tablets.
00:52:48One of the apostles.
00:52:50They weren't really apostles.
00:52:53They didn't do any real teaching.
00:52:55Peter the fisherman learned a little more about fishing.
00:52:57How do you know that?
00:53:02The mythical overlay is so enormous.
00:53:07And not good.
00:53:09The truth is so, so simple.
00:53:15A new testament in a hundred words or less.
00:53:18You ready?
00:53:19I don't think I want to hear this, Harry.
00:53:21Will you take me home?
00:53:22No.
00:53:22Not right now.
00:53:23I do want to hear this.
00:53:24Sit down, Edith.
00:53:25You act like you believe him.
00:53:27It's sacrilege.
00:53:28How can it be sacrilege?
00:53:29He hasn't said anything yet.
00:53:30The new New Testament is sacrilege.
00:53:33There have been a dozen new New Testaments.
00:53:35From Hebrew to Greek to Latin to Tyndale.
00:53:38All the way to King James.
00:53:40All revisionist.
00:53:42And all called revealed truth.
00:53:44I mean a new New Testament in a hundred words.
00:53:47I can give you the Ten Commandments in ten words.
00:53:49Don't.
00:53:50Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.
00:53:53Don't.
00:53:54The commandments are just modern updates and more ancient laws.
00:53:58Hammurabi's code.
00:53:59That's right.
00:54:00And they weren't the first, right?
00:54:03Edith, I was raised on the Torah.
00:54:05My wife in the Koran.
00:54:06My oldest son is an atheist.
00:54:08My youngest is a Scientologist.
00:54:09My daughter is studying Hinduism, I imagine.
00:54:12But there is room there for a holy war in my living room.
00:54:16But we practice live and let live.
00:54:19Why don't you sit down?
00:54:28What is your preferred version of the Bible?
00:54:31The King James, of course.
00:54:32It's the most modern, the work of great scholars.
00:54:35Modern is good.
00:54:38All right, John, hit us with the short form.
00:54:42The guy met the Buddha.
00:54:43Liked what he heard.
00:54:45Thought about it for a while.
00:54:46Say 500 years while he returned to the Mediterranean.
00:54:50Became an Etruscan.
00:54:52Seeped into the Roman Empire.
00:54:54He didn't like what they became.
00:54:55Giant killing machine.
00:54:57He went to the Near East thinking, why not pass the Buddha's teachings on in a modern form?
00:55:03So he tried.
00:55:05One dissident against Rome.
00:55:07Rome won.
00:55:08The rest is history.
00:55:10Sort of.
00:55:11A lot of fairy tales mixed in.
00:55:15I knew it.
00:55:17He's saying he was Christ.
00:55:19Oh, no.
00:55:20That's the metal they pinned on Jesus to fulfill prophecy.
00:55:23The crucifixion.
00:55:24He blocked the pain.
00:55:26As he had learned to do in Tibet and India.
00:55:29He also learned to slow his body processes down to the point where they were undetectable.
00:55:34They thought he was dead.
00:55:36So his followers pulled him from the cross, placed him in a cave.
00:55:39His body normalized as he had trained it to.
00:55:41He attempted to go away undetected, but some devotees were standing watch.
00:55:49Tried to explain.
00:55:51They were ecstatic.
00:55:54Thus, I was resurrected.
00:55:57And I ascended to Central Europe to get away as far as possible.
00:56:01You don't mean a word to this, John.
00:56:03My God, why are you doing this?
00:56:05Let me see your wrists.
00:56:07I don't scar.
00:56:08Besides, they tied me.
00:56:10But nails and blood make better religious art.
00:56:14All the speculations about Jesus.
00:56:17He was black.
00:56:17He was Asian.
00:56:18He was a blue-eyed Aryan with a golden beard and hair straight out of Adalas Asunz.
00:56:23He was a benevolent alien.
00:56:24He never existed at all.
00:56:26Now he's a caveman.
00:56:28The Christ figure goes all the way back to Krishna.
00:56:31Hercules, of course.
00:56:32Hercules?
00:56:33Born of a virgin, Alcmene.
00:56:36A god for a father, Zeus.
00:56:38Zeus, the only begotten, the savior, the Greek Soter, the good shepherd, the prince of peace,
00:56:46bringing gentle persuasion and divine wisdom.
00:56:49He died, joined his father on Olympus, a thousand years before Gethsemane.
00:56:54How can you compare pagan mythology to the true word?
00:56:59He damned closely, I'd say.
00:57:01The early Christian leaders, they threw away Hebrew manuscripts and borrowed from pagan sources all over the place.
00:57:09Do you realize how inconsiderately you're treating my feelings?
00:57:13Yeah, about as inconsiderately as we're treating John's.
00:57:17Well, he does believe what he's saying.
00:57:19Do you believe literally everything in the Bible, Edith?
00:57:22Yes.
00:57:23Before you say it, I know it's undergone a lot of changes, but God has spoken through man to make his word clearer.
00:57:32He couldn't get it right the first time?
00:57:34We're imperfect.
00:57:35He had to work to make us understand.
00:57:37He couldn't get us right the first time, Edith.
00:57:40Taken alone, the philosophical teachings of Jesus are Buddhism with a Hebrew accent.
00:57:45Kindness, tolerance, brotherhood, love.
00:57:49A ruthless realism, acknowledging that life is as it is here on earth, here and now.
00:57:54The kingdom of God, meaning goodness, is right here where it should be.
00:58:00I am what I am becoming.
00:58:02That's where the Buddha brought him.
00:58:04And that's what I taught.
00:58:05But a talking snake made a lady eat an apple, so we're screwed.
00:58:10Heaven and hell were peddled so priests could rule through seduction and terror,
00:58:14save our souls that we never lost in the first place.
00:58:17I threw a clean pass.
00:58:19They ran it out of the ballpark.
00:58:22This is blasphemy.
00:58:24It's horrible.
00:58:25Who else were you?
00:58:26Solomon?
00:58:28Elvis?
00:58:29Jack the Ripper?
00:58:30It's been said that Buddha and Jesus would laugh or cry if they'd known what was done in their name.
00:58:35And if there is a creator, I'd probably feel the same way.
00:58:39I see ceremony, ritual, processions, genuflecting, moaning, intoning, venerating cookies and wine.
00:58:47And I think it's not what I had in mind.
00:58:51But that's Vatican flapdoodle.
00:58:52It doesn't have a thing to do with God.
00:58:54As you said, John, everywhere religions, from exalting life to purging joy is a sin.
00:59:01Rome does it as grand opera.
00:59:05A simple path to goodness needs a supernatural road map.
00:59:09Supernatural.
00:59:09A stupid word.
00:59:12I mean, anything that happens, happens within nature, whether we believe it or not.
00:59:17Like a 14,000-year-old caveman.
00:59:19I drove for a while, and then I sat for a while.
00:59:33I'm so ashamed.
00:59:34And I'm freezing.
00:59:36We'll come inside.
00:59:37I still don't believe you, of course.
00:59:39You need help.
00:59:40Everybody needs help.
00:59:41Yes, well, some more than others.
00:59:43From the Buddha to the cross.
01:00:00I have always imagined both as entirely mythic.
01:00:04But I would like to hear more.
01:00:07May I lie on the couch for a moment?
01:00:09I'm not as young as I used to be.
01:00:13Well, perhaps somebody had to be, for better or for worse.
01:00:25The jury is still out.
01:00:27When did you begin to believe you were Jesus?
01:00:30When did you begin to believe you were a psychiatrist?
01:00:33Since I graduated Harvard Medical School and finished my residency, I've had that feeling.
01:00:39I sometimes dream about it.
01:00:41Have you acted upon this belief?
01:00:44I had a private practice for a while, and then I taught.
01:00:47Nothing unusual.
01:00:49Until one day, I met a caveman who thought he was Jesus.
01:00:55Do you find that unusual?
01:00:57Very.
01:00:58I would stake my reputation.
01:01:00He is as sane as I am.
01:01:02So why does he persist in such a story?
01:01:05There must be a reason, though.
01:01:06Unless I imagined it all?
01:01:09Is that possible?
01:01:10I think you're as sane as he is.
01:01:12Oh, God.
01:01:13I...
01:01:13No.
01:01:17Did you ever find it prudent to worship yourself rather than be thought a heretic?
01:01:21That would be something.
01:01:23Other times, Christianity was considered heresy.
01:01:26I had to pretend other faiths.
01:01:27And what does Jesus have to say to those present who find it difficult to believe in him?
01:01:34Believe in what he tried to teach without rigmarole.
01:01:39Piety is not what the lessons bring to people.
01:01:41It's the mistake they bring to the lessons.
01:01:43Well, it's getting to be night.
01:01:55I still have stuff to carry.
01:01:58A long drive.
01:02:00I'll help.
01:02:02John, do you have a destination in mind?
01:02:06Never mind.
01:02:08I own us.
01:02:13Anyone mentally ill can imagine a fantastic background, even an entire life, and sincerely believe it.
01:02:27The man who thinks he is Napoleon does believe it.
01:02:31His true identity has taken a back seat to his delusion and the need for it.
01:02:37If that's the case with John, there is a grave disorder.
01:02:41Organized brilliantly.
01:02:44He's got an answer for everything.
01:02:46It might involve rejection of his father, of his entire early past, replaced by this fantasy.
01:02:52He says he can't remember his father.
01:02:54Yeah, precisely.
01:02:54Why?
01:02:55You said he was sane.
01:02:57Did I?
01:02:57Do you think that perhaps our caveman has a monkey on his back?
01:03:04Drugs?
01:03:05No, no, no, no.
01:03:07I've done a lot of consulting work with the narcotics division.
01:03:09I've seen people tripping, strung out.
01:03:11Whatever's up with John, it isn't that.
01:03:13I've looked for signs.
01:03:14None.
01:03:15Could cavemen really talk?
01:03:17Well, we think that language came into existence 60,000 years ago.
01:03:21The structure of Stone Age culture is evidence of the ability to communicate verbally.
01:03:25Maybe it'd be easier if I were.
01:03:41Crazy?
01:03:42It is fascinating, isn't it?
01:04:01A brave attempt to teach Buddhism in the West.
01:04:05No wonder he failed.
01:04:06We're not ready for it.
01:04:08You're talking as if you believed him.
01:04:11Well, it is possible, isn't it?
01:04:12I mean, anything is possible.
01:04:15Look, we have two simple choices.
01:04:17We can get all bent out of shape, intellectualizing, or bench pressing logic, or we can simply relax
01:04:23and enjoy it.
01:04:24I can listen critically, but I don't have to make up my mind about anything that you think you do.
01:04:31Well, unfortunately, there's no authorities on prehistory, so we couldn't stop them there.
01:04:35There are experts on the Bible.
01:04:37Dream on.
01:04:39Yeah, that's the lost years of Jesus.
01:04:41He didn't exist until John put on a hat.
01:04:44I don't believe in angels and the nativity and the star in the east, but there are stories about the childhood of Jesus.
01:04:51History hates a vacuum.
01:04:53Improvisation, some of it very sincere, fills the gaps.
01:04:58It would have been easy to falsify a past back then.
01:05:01A few words, credulity, time would do the rest.
01:05:05No, you're talking as if you believed him.
01:05:07Well, look at the popular myths surrounding the Kennedy assassination in a few short years.
01:05:12You had a conspiracy, mafia, CIA.
01:05:16That's a mystique that'll never go away.
01:05:18It's always been a small step from a fallen leader to a god.
01:05:21I don't think anybody will deify Kennedy.
01:05:25We're more sophisticated than that.
01:05:27We are.
01:05:28We are.
01:05:29Well, you're finally fulfilling one prophecy about the millennium, John.
01:05:38What's that?
01:05:39Here you are again.
01:05:40You like the fire, John.
01:05:54Everywhere I've lived, I've had a fireplace.
01:05:57Childhood fixation, I guess.
01:05:59It helps me feel secure.
01:06:04There are predators out there.
01:06:08One thing I didn't pack.
01:06:11I thought I might need it.
01:06:12Wouldn't Sacré-Dupré-Ton be more appropriate?
01:06:23What?
01:06:23You got four men of science completely baffled, my friend.
01:06:32But we don't know what to make of you.
01:06:34Did you know Voltaire was the first to suggest that the universe was created by a gigantic explosion?
01:06:40I think Paul would agree.
01:06:41And that Goethe was the first to suggest that spiral nebulae were swirling masses of stars.
01:06:49We now call them galaxies.
01:06:51It's kind of funny how often new concepts of science find their first tentative forms of expression in the arts.
01:06:56So did Beethoven do physics on the side?
01:07:00He spent most of his time lying on the floor in front of his legless piano surrounded by orange peels and apple cores.
01:07:11Now we were on the floor listening to Beethoven.
01:07:15Full circle.
01:07:17Did you have, um, any religious beliefs?
01:07:22Or did you give it much thought?
01:07:25You can't get that with thought.
01:07:27You have faith?
01:07:28In a lot of things.
01:07:29Do you have faith in the future of the race?
01:07:33I've seen species come and go.
01:07:35Depends on their balance with the environment.
01:07:38We've made a mess of it.
01:07:40There's still time.
01:07:42We use it well.
01:07:44Christianity has been a worldwide belief for 2,000 years.
01:07:48How long did the Egyptians worship Isis or the Sumerians Ishtar?
01:07:52In India, sacred cows wandered freely as reincarnated souls.
01:07:56In 1,000 years, they'll be barbecued and their souls will be in squirrels.
01:08:00You weren't Jesus.
01:08:03Oh, yes.
01:08:04If it rains, it won't.
01:08:10How do you know that?
01:08:12I don't smell it.
01:08:16Were you, I guess, a medicine man?
01:08:20I was a shaman a few times.
01:08:23I revealed some truths to eat a little better.
01:08:26You think that's all religion is about?
01:08:29Selling hope and survival?
01:08:32The Old Testament sells fear and guilt.
01:08:34The New Testament is a good code of ethics.
01:08:37Put into my mouth by poets and philosophers that are much smarter than I am.
01:08:40The message is never practiced.
01:08:45The fairy tales build churches.
01:08:47What about the name Jesus?
01:08:50Did you pull that out of a hand?
01:08:52I called myself John.
01:08:54I almost always do.
01:08:57As tales of resurrection spread, the name was confused with the Hebrew Yohanan,
01:09:01meaning God is gracious.
01:09:03My stay on earth was seen as divine proof of immortality.
01:09:08That led to God is salvation, or Hebrew Yeshua,
01:09:14which in translation became my proper name,
01:09:17changing to late Greek, Iesus,
01:09:20then to late Latin, Iesus,
01:09:22finally medieval Latin, Jesus.
01:09:25And it was a wonder to watch it all happen.
01:09:28Then you didn't claim to be the son of God.
01:09:31It began as a schoolhouse and ended as a temple.
01:09:34I said I had a master that was greater than myself.
01:09:38I never said he was my father.
01:09:40I wanted to teach what I learned.
01:09:42I never claimed to be king of the Jews.
01:09:44I never walked on water.
01:09:45I never raised the dead.
01:09:47I never spoke of divine except in the sense of human goodness on earth.
01:09:56No wise men came from the east to worship in a manger.
01:09:58I did do a little healing with some eastern medicine I'd learned.
01:10:06That's it.
01:10:11Three wise men began as a myth about the birth of the Buddha.
01:10:14John, I should be home, kissing my wife.
01:10:26We're all here, trapped by your story.
01:10:30Hoping for a revolution, I don't know.
01:10:35Are there any more revelations for us?
01:10:42It's just like old times.
01:10:57You weren't Jesus.
01:11:03Quote the Sermon on the Mount.
01:11:05Which one?
01:11:06Darby, King James, New American Standard?
01:11:09Do you know them all?
01:11:11No one knows the one, not even me.
01:11:14I did some teaching on a hill one day.
01:11:18Not that many people stayed.
01:11:20But biblical Jesus said,
01:11:24Who do you think I am?
01:11:26He gave them a choice.
01:11:30I'm giving you one.
01:11:34Were you?
01:11:35If I said no, could you ever be sure?
01:11:57Turn that off.
01:11:59Please?
01:12:00This has gone far enough.
01:12:05It's gone much too far.
01:12:07These people are very upset.
01:12:10I don't believe you're mad.
01:12:12But what you're saying is not true.
01:12:15That leaves only one explanation.
01:12:19The time has come when you must admit this is a hoax.
01:12:25A lie.
01:12:25Isn't that true, John?
01:12:29If you don't drop this now, if you can,
01:12:32I'll be convinced that you need a great deal of attention.
01:12:37I can have you committed for observation.
01:12:40You know that.
01:12:41I ask you now.
01:12:44I demand it.
01:12:45That you tell these people the truth.
01:12:49Give them closure.
01:12:52It's time, John.
01:12:54Please.
01:13:10End of the line.
01:13:11Everybody off.
01:13:17What?
01:13:18It was a story.
01:13:20It was all a story.
01:13:22Good God.
01:13:26Another fairy tale.
01:13:27All of it, but why?
01:13:29What in the name of heaven?
01:13:31John, you had us wondering whether you were sane or not.
01:13:33And it's just a story.
01:13:35Where'd you come off with such a half-baked, asinine idea?
01:13:38At least you're relieved I might have not.
01:13:40I prefer you were.
01:13:41You gave me the idea.
01:13:44All of you.
01:13:45Come again.
01:13:46Eden saw my fake Van Gogh.
01:13:47You could have just told me.
01:13:48You commented that I never age.
01:13:50You gave me the book on early men.
01:13:52Dan, you spotted the burn.
01:13:54And you said if stones could speak.
01:13:56I knew it.
01:13:57I got the notion.
01:13:58I ran it past you to check your reactions.
01:14:00And I took it too far.
01:14:02Too far.
01:14:04Check my reaction.
01:14:05You asked if I was a figure from religious history.
01:14:07If there were others like me.
01:14:09If I had created future identities.
01:14:10We were chasing our tails around the maypole.
01:14:14Enjoying the mystery.
01:14:15The analytical stretch.
01:14:17You were playing my game.
01:14:19I was playing yours.
01:14:20Oh, man.
01:14:21You know you had us going, right?
01:14:23Oh, you were good, man.
01:14:24You know those Chinese boxes.
01:14:26One inside the other.
01:14:27Inside the other.
01:14:28Inside the other.
01:14:29I feel like I'm in the last box.
01:14:32You son of a bitch.
01:14:34How could you do this to us?
01:14:37I was worried about you.
01:14:38I know.
01:14:39I was tempted to cop out many times.
01:14:41But I couldn't resist seeing whether or not you could refute what I was saying.
01:14:45I had the perfect audience.
01:14:48Anthropologist.
01:14:49Archaeologist.
01:14:49Christian literalist.
01:14:52A psychologist.
01:14:54Okay.
01:14:55I've had enough of this.
01:14:56I'm out of here.
01:14:56You want to come?
01:14:57Let's go.
01:14:58So, John.
01:15:00Are you going to write the story?
01:15:02If I do, I'll send you copies.
01:15:03Don't bother with mine, okay?
01:15:05You are absolutely certifiable.
01:15:08I don't know you.
01:15:12It was nice seeing you again, Dr. Oldman.
01:15:16Your name's a pun, isn't it?
01:15:18Old man.
01:15:20Did that help you with your story?
01:15:23Linda!
01:15:26Bye.
01:15:31My lot was half right.
01:15:32Which half?
01:15:38Well, at least I don't have to throw away half of what I know about biology.
01:15:44Which half?
01:15:46It's a beautiful idea.
01:15:49So rich.
01:15:51So full of possibilities.
01:15:54Perhaps you should write a paper on it, Doctor.
01:15:56Maybe I will.
01:15:58I'll interview you in the rubber room for further details.
01:16:01You may still need help, my friend.
01:16:03My ass.
01:16:19I thought it sounded pretty good.
01:16:20They believe you because they have to.
01:16:22But the one thing that I know about you is that you would never use people or abuse their goodwill and intelligence like they think you've just done to them.
01:16:30Psych 101?
01:16:31No, it's woman.
01:16:32One-on-one.
01:16:34So you're a pretty fast liar, Mr. Ugg.
01:16:35But I want to know.
01:16:37What's your real name?
01:16:39Believe it or not, this sound was always John.
01:16:45Why'd you cave to Gruber?
01:16:46What happened was enough.
01:16:48Just needed to stop.
01:16:49I shouldn't have expected it to work.
01:16:5314,000 years old.
01:16:55I bet that's a lot of women.
01:16:57Are we counting?
01:16:59Maybe.
01:16:59Maybe.
01:16:59Well, I'm taking Edith home.
01:17:04Sandy?
01:17:06I'm gonna stay.
01:17:12Are you sorry for some of those things you said?
01:17:16I'm sorry I said them.
01:17:18Well, like a good Christian, I...
01:17:22Oh, John.
01:17:24Woo!
01:17:25Oh!
01:17:26You did a terrible thing!
01:17:28But we're all so thankful you're alright.
01:17:31Even Art.
01:17:32He just hates things he can't understand.
01:17:35You're a sadist, John.
01:17:36But I admit I got a kick out of chasing my tail around your Maybowl.
01:17:41Even if that is all I caught.
01:17:42Good luck to you.
01:17:43Wish you the best.
01:17:45Ready?
01:17:55Later on.
01:17:56Okay.
01:17:56Good night.
01:17:58I don't know, man.
01:18:08Something about this.
01:18:11Something about you, John.
01:18:13The more I think about it, the more I'm no longer in that Chinese box.
01:18:17I sense space.
01:18:21A kind of latitude in what we happily call reality.
01:18:26In which, as everybody keeps saying, anything's possible.
01:18:33Yes.
01:18:33No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no more words.
01:18:36I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna watch Star Trek for a dose of sanity.
01:18:42Good luck to you, man.
01:18:44Wherever this may lead to.
01:18:46You drop me a line.
01:18:48Sometime.
01:18:49Let me know how you're making up.
01:18:50I will.
01:18:51I will.
01:19:05So, John Oldman, what other pun names have you used?
01:19:10Lots.
01:19:13John Paley for John Paleolithic.
01:19:16John Savage.
01:19:18Got really crazy about 60 years ago.
01:19:20When I was teaching at Harvard, I was John Thomas Partee.
01:19:26John T. Partee.
01:19:27Boston T. Partee.
01:19:28I get it.
01:19:29Yeah, I know.
01:19:30Wait, wait, wait.
01:19:31B-b-b-boston?
01:19:3460 years ago?
01:19:36John...
01:19:36John Partee?
01:19:42You did not teach chemistry.
01:19:44I-I do not believe you!
01:19:48Your mother's name was Nova.
01:19:50No.
01:19:51Yeah.
01:19:52No.
01:19:52Yeah.
01:19:54Yes.
01:19:55Nola.
01:19:56My mother.
01:19:59I reject this!
01:20:02My-my-my dog's name.
01:20:05We had him before I was born.
01:20:08Wolfie.
01:20:08Wolf-Wolf-Wolfie!
01:20:15Gruber, should we be married?
01:20:17She said you abandoned us.
01:20:20Sorry I had to move on.
01:20:22You know that.
01:20:23I left enough.
01:20:24I left enough.
01:20:25I called.
01:20:26Chilly-willy.
01:20:27Always cold.
01:20:28Never could stay in the cold.
01:20:31Wait, you...
01:20:32You had a beer.
01:20:34Yeah.
01:20:34Use the time to see if it was real.
01:20:37Will!
01:20:39God!
01:20:419-1-1 now!
01:20:43Willie.
01:20:44Come on, Will.
01:20:46Will.
01:20:48Come on, buddy.
01:20:48Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go
01:21:18You'll stay in touch, Dr. Olman, in case there are any questions.
01:21:24I'll be back for the funeral.
01:21:26Miss.
01:21:37You never saw a grown child die?
01:21:41No.
01:21:48This is another young man.
01:21:50There is a
01:21:54deathchamnel living room.
01:21:56There is no chance for him.
01:21:59Be your friend in your life,
01:22:08Charlie!
01:22:10The vive...
01:24:45Take the world into their hands and change it and mold it to their point of view.
01:24:55I felt the earth shake, a semantic stand, and find when it's the one thing left to do.
01:25:11Nothing less forever is what I've always heard.
01:25:19All things good must end, you know it's true.
01:25:27Nothing lasts forever, but maybe some things do.
01:25:35Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:25:41Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:25:49Nothing lasts forever is what I've always heard.
01:26:01Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:26:03Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:26:05You know it's true.
01:26:07Nothing lasts forever, but maybe some things do.
01:26:17Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:26:19Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:26:25Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:26:29Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:26:31Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:26:35Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:26:37Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:26:39Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:27:05Forever is the way I feel for you.
01:27:07Forever is the way I feel for you.
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