- 5 months ago
Full Movie of A Pleasure Doing Business, featuring with Anne-Marie Skinner, 1979
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00What kind of stag party can you have for a shrunk like birdie?
00:00:07Oh, come on. It's not your house, does it?
00:00:15Watch who you're going, you dumb son of a bitch!
00:00:18Hiya! Hiya! Hi, Lenny!
00:00:23Marvin! Marvin Baxter!
00:00:26And Herb! Herb, you son of a gun! I haven't seen you guys since high school!
00:00:31I see you've still got the same car.
00:00:32Yeah, but what a break running into you guys like this!
00:00:35What are you doing here?
00:00:36Remember Bernie?
00:00:37Yeah.
00:00:40Hey, I'll meet you inside!
00:00:41Right.
00:00:42Ah, blow it out your exhaust pipes, you bunch of Marys!
00:00:47Oh, here we go.
00:00:49Alright, alright!
00:00:51Hey, Freddy, come on!
00:00:53He's here!
00:00:57The gang was all here!
00:00:59What'd you say, huh?
00:01:00Hey, hey, hey!
00:01:01Hey, hey, hey!
00:01:02Hey, hey, hey!
00:01:03Hey, Bernie!
00:01:04There he is!
00:01:05Congratulations!
00:01:10Who's the fruit?
00:01:13Bernie!
00:01:14Now, come on!
00:01:16You know, Bernie's never been laid.
00:01:17Yeah, well, marriage won't change that any.
00:01:26To Bernie, a pair of knockers...
00:01:31Hey, hey good bro!
00:01:33Hey, hey, hey!
00:01:34All right!
00:01:35To ring your liberty bell
00:01:39on your last night of freedom.
00:01:43Best wishes from the gang!
00:02:46No, I mean a pro.
00:02:47Something about her reminds me of a secretary.
00:02:51I wonder how much she makes.
00:02:54Probably more than us combined.
00:02:55Hey, not more than me.
00:02:57More than me? I'm still in school.
00:02:59I'll bet you five bucks she doesn't make as much as the three of us.
00:03:02Count me out.
00:03:03Okay.
00:03:04You're on.
00:03:05Hey, Larry.
00:03:09How much does a girl like Crystal?
00:03:12Crystal.
00:03:13Oh, about two weeks.
00:03:15Oh, 200 weeks.
00:03:17Dear boy.
00:03:19Two thousand.
00:03:21Two thousand.
00:03:29Well?
00:03:31Take out your wallet.
00:03:34I'll open it.
00:03:35Yeah.
00:03:36You got a five?
00:03:37With mine.
00:03:43Thanks.
00:03:44You lose.
00:03:45Hey, neat trick.
00:03:47Really neat.
00:03:48All right.
00:03:49How much does she make?
00:03:50Two thou a week.
00:03:52That's more than I make at WCBS New York.
00:03:54I wonder what she spent it on.
00:03:59Certainly not close.
00:04:01Come on, Herb.
00:04:02You can't be that naive.
00:04:03She doesn't get all that money.
00:04:05She gets what her man gives her.
00:04:08What?
00:04:09Procure her.
00:04:10Him.
00:04:11Money.
00:04:13Take it all.
00:04:15Take it all.
00:04:20Oh, my goodness.
00:04:24Hey, look.
00:04:31Joe Marsh.
00:04:32Remember?
00:04:33Homecoming team, 1953.
00:04:35Pumped out the entire defensive backfield of the Badgers.
00:04:38Oh, yeah.
00:04:38I remember him.
00:04:39Voted most likely to do anything he wants.
00:04:43He's one top hombre.
00:04:45Hey, let's go talk.
00:04:46Rap.
00:04:46Let's rap with him.
00:04:47Oh, no, thanks, Len.
00:04:48I wouldn't.
00:04:49I wouldn't feel comfortable.
00:04:50No, me neither.
00:04:52Cultural differences.
00:04:53I'm happy.
00:04:54You don't feel they can communicate, right?
00:04:56Well, have no fear.
00:04:57And broadcast school, they teach us all this stuff.
00:05:00Dig?
00:05:01I mean, I talk to Negroes all the time.
00:05:03I think I need a drink.
00:05:04Ah, me too.
00:05:05Yeah.
00:05:05I'll go rap with him.
00:05:11Hey, bro.
00:05:12Hi, bro.
00:05:12Hey, bro.
00:05:14It's Lenny from Hanley High.
00:05:17Right.
00:05:19Hey, Daddy.
00:05:20What's my main man got coming down?
00:05:23My fist is coming down on your head if you don't cut the jive.
00:05:28Oh, sure, Joe.
00:05:29I just thought you'd feel more comfortable, you know.
00:05:31Say, uh, I didn't know that you and Bernie were still in touch.
00:05:37Bernie?
00:05:38Bernie, you know, the guy that they're throwing a stag party for.
00:05:43Well, uh, if you're not friends, what are you doing at the party?
00:05:48Business.
00:05:51Strictly business.
00:05:52Lenny was one of the few people at school Joe liked.
00:05:57Why was that?
00:05:59Well, at the beginning of every year, Lenny would show up at his locker.
00:06:02Joe would stomp him into the ground.
00:06:05He liked that because he never had to hunt Lenny down.
00:06:07Oh, yeah.
00:06:10Well, I see you noticed a classy breed of individual here.
00:06:13Still a few of us don't undress a woman with their eyes.
00:06:16What's with this creepo?
00:06:17You ready?
00:06:18Let's go.
00:06:21Good job.
00:06:23Yeah, Joe, I'm kind of hungry myself.
00:06:29Why, get a load of Joe March.
00:06:31Super fly yourself.
00:06:33Boy, I'll bet he's really hauling in the bucks.
00:06:36I wonder how many girls he has.
00:06:39Not dozens.
00:06:40What did you talk about?
00:06:42Oh, you know, old times, girls we know.
00:06:45Speaking of girls, there's a conspicuous absence.
00:06:48Let's get out of here.
00:06:49Hey, I know a quiet little place around the corner.
00:06:50We'll have a drink.
00:06:51Listen, fellas, why don't we go out and tie one on?
00:06:58I don't think you guys are going to say, here we are.
00:07:01We knock our brains out every day.
00:07:03And we have less to show for it than this dude who's got nothing but a dumb chick with a good body.
00:07:11Yeah, you think you feel bad.
00:07:12Well, she makes more in three weeks than I used to make all year.
00:07:15I can understand that.
00:07:17Well, that's life, right?
00:07:21It's amazing.
00:07:22Just think, in booze joints all over the world right now, millions of bar waitresses are bending over, millions of cheats are peaking up.
00:07:34Yeah, and millions of guys like you are just waiting to get a shot of it.
00:07:39I've often wondered about those outfits.
00:07:42Do they shrink or do they buy them that small?
00:07:44Come on, fellas, it's getting late.
00:07:45You know, I just can't help thinking about Joe Marsh.
00:07:49I mean, a guy we went to school with, right?
00:07:51Being a pin.
00:07:52He's got all the necessary credentials.
00:07:54Big, mean, tough.
00:07:56More important, he's got that girl, Crystal, working for him.
00:08:00Yeah, earning money, but...
00:08:01But while he stands around, does nothing.
00:08:03Next to nothing.
00:08:04That's it.
00:08:06That's the key.
00:08:08Listen, guys, what does it take?
00:08:10I mean, what does it really take to be a pin?
00:08:12Muscle.
00:08:13Brains.
00:08:14Lenny's right.
00:08:15Lenny's right, Herb.
00:08:16If you've got brains, do you actually need LeBron?
00:08:18No.
00:08:19The whole business is romanticized to make you believe you've got to be a tough guy.
00:08:23It's a myth to keep out competition.
00:08:26Why, that's restraint and free trade.
00:08:29Herb, you can't sit there and tell me that three halfway intelligent guys
00:08:33couldn't turn a pretty penny on this.
00:08:36Wait a minute, Marv.
00:08:37You and I go back a lot of years together, but this, this...
00:08:42Hey, I'm a respectable businessman.
00:08:44Listen, haven't you talked all your life about the one big deal?
00:08:48The one moment in your life when you hit it big?
00:08:50I'm telling you, pal, this is it.
00:08:53Nah, Marv, it won't work.
00:08:56That's crazy.
00:08:58Oh, no, no, no, no, but you see, that's it.
00:09:00That's the angle.
00:09:01The whole operation would be clean, uptown, high class.
00:09:05Sure, we wouldn't peddle our wares on the street.
00:09:08It's a business for us, a way to get rich without getting your hands dirty.
00:09:12Come on, Herb, with your marketing know-how.
00:09:16If we wanted to.
00:09:18If we wanted to.
00:09:21We could ride circles around an amateur like Joe Marshy.
00:09:25What?
00:09:26Maybe you've got something.
00:09:27Sure, all it takes is one.
00:09:29One girl.
00:09:31Think of the income.
00:09:33Yeah.
00:09:34Think of the tax advantage.
00:09:36We could form a company.
00:09:37A corporation.
00:09:39Sure, I see the whole thing.
00:09:40You guys talking about what I think you're talking about?
00:09:43We're talking about entering the world's oldest profession.
00:09:47Partners.
00:09:49Yeah, sure.
00:09:50Partners.
00:09:53Another round, boys?
00:09:54Uh, yeah, sure, sweetheart.
00:09:57Well, partners.
00:09:58Tomorrow I'll get in touch with my attorney and have him draw up the incorporation papers.
00:10:03This could be the start of some faggot.
00:10:06Here's to our new venture.
00:10:08The, uh, the...
00:10:10Say, what are we gonna call it?
00:10:13The Halima Screw Factory?
00:10:16Yeah, well, the name Halima is a contraction of all our three names.
00:10:20Herb, Lenny, and Marvin.
00:10:22You deferred two letters of each name.
00:10:24Make.
00:10:25Halima.
00:10:27Nature of Enterprise.
00:10:28The marketing and distribution of temporary coupling devices.
00:10:35Yeah, well, if everything's in order, you can submit the application.
00:10:39It's most peculiar, Herb.
00:10:40I wouldn't think you'd be interested in hardware.
00:10:46Say, is he all right?
00:10:48Asthma.
00:10:49Bad asthma.
00:10:50See, we're involved primarily in the business end.
00:10:52We intend to hire a professional when it comes to the actual putting out...
00:10:56The product.
00:10:58Excuse us.
00:11:00Well, let me know if there's any help you need.
00:11:02Union negotiations, that sort of thing.
00:11:04Say, what unions will you be dealing with?
00:11:07Uh, USA, probably.
00:11:12USA?
00:11:13The United Screwworkers of America.
00:11:16I'm glad I got out of there at the same time you did.
00:11:18I was ready to go with you.
00:11:20What are you trying to do, Lenny?
00:11:21Queer the whole deal?
00:11:22I mean, what would happen if people found out that I was...
00:11:25Gee, Herb, I didn't...
00:11:25Hey, relax, Herb, will you?
00:11:27Come on, everything's cool.
00:11:29Listen, the main thing is, we're ready to fly.
00:11:32We're in business.
00:11:34Oh, stop it, will you?
00:11:35We're in business, baby.
00:11:37Hey, now we're in business, what do we do?
00:11:38Well, we do what any smart business does.
00:11:41We advertise.
00:11:46A small insertion in the help-wanted section ought to do it.
00:11:50Something that basically describes the type of woman we're looking for.
00:11:54Yes?
00:12:12The ad?
00:12:13I'm here about the job.
00:12:15Ah, the ad!
00:12:16Of course.
00:12:18Of course, sir, won't you step in?
00:12:22You got the box?
00:12:24Have a seat.
00:12:33Nice office you have.
00:12:35Oh, we're just a regional branch here.
00:12:37May I ask what the name of the company is?
00:12:39The ad was rather unclear.
00:12:40All it said was, dynamic young woman interested in unlimited income possibilities.
00:12:45Well, we're a sales organization primarily.
00:12:49How fast do you type?
00:12:5060 words a minute.
00:12:52Oh, darn.
00:12:54Gee, the minimum for this job is 90.
00:12:56So I see no further than...
00:12:58Oh, wait a second.
00:12:58I can take a refresher course.
00:13:00Filing.
00:13:05How about filing?
00:13:07I was responsible for all the files in my last job.
00:13:10Look, look, see, it's all here in this letter of recommendation.
00:13:14Look around you.
00:13:15Do you see any files?
00:13:19No.
00:13:20Exactly.
00:13:20We don't do filing here.
00:13:22That was just a little test of your observation.
00:13:24The person we're looking forward to said,
00:13:26it's obvious, sir, my filing skills would be of no use to this organization.
00:13:31So you see, at this time, we're not interested.
00:13:35However, if you'd like to leave your letter of recommendation,
00:13:37I'll be happy to put it on file.
00:13:48Can I help you?
00:13:51Ain't you the guy looking for the dynamic woman?
00:13:56No.
00:13:58That ain't what the paper says.
00:14:00Well, let me see.
00:14:01Oh, well, that must be a misprint.
00:14:03Try a 706.
00:14:05I just came from 706.
00:14:08You did, huh?
00:14:09It's the ladies' room.
00:14:12Then hiring, huh?
00:14:13It's a brilliant idea.
00:14:29Just, uh, it's brilliant.
00:14:33You know what smart business does?
00:14:34Run an ad.
00:14:35I'm glad you're in advertising, Marvin.
00:14:39I'd hate to think the response we'd have had if we'd all been amateurs.
00:14:42Come on, Herb.
00:14:43It's not Marvin's fault.
00:14:45No, no.
00:14:45Herb's right.
00:14:46Not only did we not find our grill,
00:14:48but it cost us a month's rent for that dumb place.
00:14:51I'll pay you guys back.
00:14:54Okay.
00:14:55You know, I just can't help thinking that the idea was sound.
00:14:59I mean, we just went about it the wrong way.
00:15:01Maybe the morning paper was the wrong place.
00:15:05Right.
00:15:05If we want to attract ladies of the evening,
00:15:08where do we have to advertise?
00:15:10The evening paper.
00:15:14Lenny, think about it.
00:15:16I guess not.
00:15:17No, you're not going to get off that easy this time.
00:15:19I want you to think about what you just said.
00:15:22I tell you what.
00:15:24Swingers' magazines and underground newspapers,
00:15:27that ought to do it, huh?
00:15:28We still have three weeks paid up on that office.
00:15:32This time we can be more explicit.
00:15:33Something like, uh,
00:15:35what's more enjoyable than sex alone?
00:15:40Sex alone?
00:15:40Shut up.
00:15:42It's sex with income.
00:15:44Now combine earning with yearning.
00:15:57Hi.
00:16:00Hi.
00:16:01You are hired.
00:16:10Oh, yeah.
00:16:15God, your hair.
00:16:19Don't sweat it, big boy.
00:16:21God, your voice.
00:16:24God, you're a man.
00:16:25God!
00:16:26God!
00:16:27God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God.
00:16:43Wow, look at all this neat stuff.
00:16:46Yeah, look at it.
00:16:47Marge!
00:16:56Alice, Marvin, how are you?
00:16:58Don't tell me I can see.
00:17:00What did you buy?
00:17:01You know, I'm taking that mixed-media art course.
00:17:03I thought I could staple all this stuff on a large board
00:17:06and then dip it in some kind of metallic paint or something.
00:17:08You just get here?
00:17:09Yeah.
00:17:10I've got a great idea.
00:17:12Why don't we let these two off the hook,
00:17:13since it's obvious they don't appreciate good bargains when they see them.
00:17:17Terrific.
00:17:18Besides, it's Herb's birthday.
00:17:20He's a year older and he wants to go somewhere and be depressed.
00:17:23Cute, Marge.
00:17:25Cute.
00:17:25Yeah, I want to go around again in case there's something I missed.
00:17:28Alice, I'm warning you,
00:17:29there better not be any more junk in that bag when you get home.
00:17:32Hmm.
00:17:38I tell you, I am going to ask her.
00:17:41I'm telling you, you are nuts.
00:17:44One, she's already in business.
00:17:46Two, there's probably a big guy with a bigger knife waiting in one of those doorways.
00:17:51Three, I have to go to the bathroom.
00:17:53Damn it, we've struck out every other place.
00:17:55What's left?
00:17:57Lenny keeps talking about all the chicks at broadcast school.
00:18:00He says they're the kind of girls we're looking for.
00:18:05It gives me great pleasure to introduce my special guest,
00:18:08Miss Lucille Sturgeon.
00:18:11Uh, first and foremost, know the name of the person you're interviewing.
00:18:17It's terribly impolite to return to know Lucille.
00:18:19You know, Lucille, you ought to think about changing your name for the biz.
00:18:25Sturgeon just doesn't make it.
00:18:27Take me, for instance.
00:18:29I'll be known at the radio world as Rex King.
00:18:33It's got the kind of sound people can identify with.
00:18:36Rex King.
00:18:37That's a shitty name.
00:18:40Hmm?
00:18:40Sounds like the name of a dog.
00:18:44But you'll probably do just fine, because you're a man.
00:18:47I don't even know why I signed up for this dumb course.
00:18:50They'll never give me a chance.
00:18:52There isn't any field where a woman can really get ahead.
00:18:57If you and I both had the same job,
00:18:59you'd be making more money at it than me.
00:19:02It's a man's world, and you just can't beat it.
00:19:07Yeah, but you can join it.
00:19:09What do you mean?
00:19:10Remember these things.
00:19:11We go over them.
00:19:12We have to just take off your clothes.
00:19:14You know?
00:19:15Take off your clothes.
00:19:16It'll pay good money.
00:19:17A couple hundred a week.
00:19:19Your place will go out there.
00:19:21Buy yourself some black underwear or something like that, you know?
00:19:26Might even make some friends.
00:19:28Who knows?
00:19:29You.
00:19:30You.
00:19:31You're a disgrace to the public airwaves.
00:19:35Turn on your headphones and never show your face around here again.
00:19:38Oh, Marvy, oh, help.
00:19:43What is it, Larry?
00:19:44Can I saddle you with a sticky one?
00:19:46What?
00:19:46My secretary, that dumb woman,
00:19:48made an appointment for me to look at a portfolio of some real no-talent.
00:19:52Okay.
00:19:53Except old man hagglers having hemorrhoids over that latest layout.
00:19:56And even though I'm perfect, Marvy,
00:19:58I can't be in two places at once.
00:20:00So be a dear and take one or two minutes to look at my appointment, will you?
00:20:03Well, Larry, it's obvious to anyone.
00:20:05I don't have the power to hire around here.
00:20:07Fake it.
00:20:08After all, you're a member of the creative department.
00:20:11Be creative.
00:20:12Yes, well, Mr. Little had an urgent client meeting.
00:20:20But don't worry.
00:20:21He set it up for you to meet with his associate, Mr. Marvin Baxter.
00:20:25Ah, excuse me, Mr. Baxter.
00:20:27This is Miss Harris.
00:20:29Just call me Ronnie.
00:20:32Well, please come in, Miss Ronnie,
00:20:36and let's see what you have to offer.
00:20:38I meant your work, of course.
00:20:40Yeah, well, let's sit down.
00:20:55Real interesting, isn't it?
00:20:58What?
00:21:00The way the light hits that sprinkler thingy.
00:21:03Oh, yeah.
00:21:04I can see it now in shades of gray.
00:21:07I just love painting everyday things, don't you?
00:21:11Yeah.
00:21:12Just last week, I did a wastebasket in acrylics.
00:21:15Wow.
00:21:16Well, let's look at your pictures.
00:21:24I've never had a lesson in my life.
00:21:28Amazing.
00:21:29There was never time.
00:21:32My family was always traveling.
00:21:35I got most of my early ideas from hanging by the numbers.
00:21:41It's certainly stylized.
00:21:43It has a primitive quality that defies...
00:21:47Do you really think so?
00:21:48I've never seen anything quite like it.
00:21:55You don't know what that means to me.
00:21:57But you must understand that this and what we do here for a living are two entirely different things.
00:22:05Hmm.
00:22:06I was kind of hoping for a moment that I had found my place.
00:22:12I really do need a job.
00:22:15Yes, but to work in advertising would be prostituting...
00:22:19...your talent.
00:22:23Oh, I'd do just anything to become an artist.
00:22:25I have a much better idea.
00:22:29Mm-hmm.
00:22:30Yes.
00:22:32I have some influential friends who are interested in developing new talent.
00:22:38Really?
00:22:39Yes.
00:22:39As a matter of fact, they've been talking about establishing their own gallery.
00:22:45Yes.
00:22:45It's a very special gallery of life, so to speak.
00:22:49And I can see your talents prominently displayed there.
00:22:53I can't believe it.
00:22:55We've been holding back so far because we've been unable to find anyone who can communicate with our fellow man.
00:23:01Oh, I know that I can do it.
00:23:03If you and your friends think I'm good enough.
00:23:06Oh, I'm going to have a meeting with them right away, and I'm sure that they'll find your qualifications fascinating.
00:23:13I don't know much about art, but I know what I like.
00:23:27And I hate this.
00:23:32Although it does kind of dress up the old office.
00:23:34If you don't look at it too close, I mean.
00:23:36I sure hope she can better than she can paint.
00:23:42Come on, dear.
00:23:43A little surprise for you.
00:23:47Gee, it's overwhelming, isn't it?
00:23:49Yes, it is.
00:23:51Ronnie, I'd like you to meet some friends of mine.
00:23:54This is Herb Gilroy.
00:23:55First names are enough.
00:23:56After all, we're friends here, right?
00:23:58Uh, Lenny, uh, Leonard?
00:24:00Communications is the game.
00:24:01It's a real honor, fellas.
00:24:03I've been telling Ronnie about our foundation.
00:24:07Huh?
00:24:08The Halima Foundation.
00:24:10You see, as trustees, we're bound to, uh, to search out and assist new artists.
00:24:15However, the foundation is, is very strict when it comes to doling out funds.
00:24:19We must be convinced that the artist is making every effort to improve and mature his or her work.
00:24:26Oh, you can count on me.
00:24:27I'll paint night and day.
00:24:29Well, that's not quite it.
00:24:31You see, while you undoubtedly possess a superabundance of native talent, there is no, uh, how should I say, there is no, uh, dark spirit in evidence.
00:24:42Dark spirit?
00:24:44Yeah, see, all the greats went through tremendous periods of suffering to improve their art.
00:24:50Picasso had his blue period.
00:24:51Bingo even cut off his ear.
00:24:53I knew a guy in high school who used to cut his finger and write in blood.
00:24:56Golly.
00:24:57Well, now we don't expect anything quite as drastic as those artists.
00:25:01But an exposure to the, uh, seamier elements of life.
00:25:05A total abandoning of reason.
00:25:07To follow your basest emotions.
00:25:10To be, to be like an animal.
00:25:12Like an animal.
00:25:15Gee, it sounds scary.
00:25:18But exciting.
00:25:23I'll do it.
00:25:24I'll do whatever you say.
00:25:29Oh, I can't even find that I'm just basically quite...
00:25:31Uh, in fact, with autobones, you'll find that you probably...
00:25:36...
00:25:36What the hell?
00:25:48May I help you, please?
00:26:05Excuse me, madame.
00:26:06May I help you, please?
00:26:07I believe that this woman is, how you say, suffocating.
00:26:13I must give her some air.
00:26:19And now, contestant number three on the moment of truth,
00:26:24Mrs. J.R. of Hillsborough, North Dakota.
00:26:31Will you tell us, please, when you faced your moment of truth?
00:26:37Well, Harold, that's my husband, you know, he works for the power and light.
00:26:46And they was having to go out and repair a transformer during the storm.
00:26:51That bolt of lightning come down and seared him from his hard hat to his jackboots.
00:26:57But we don't want for much.
00:27:00The doctor says that with therapy, Harold will get nimble use of his three toes.
00:27:07If we win today, I'd like an electric typewriter.
00:27:12Harold says he's going to learn to...
00:27:18Where are you, Mama?
00:27:22Where are you?
00:27:24Come on over here.
00:27:25Oh, hello, Mrs. Wildebeest.
00:27:31You're not fooling me, young lady.
00:27:33All that noise, it's immoral.
00:27:35I was just moving my easel.
00:27:37Alone?
00:27:39Aha!
00:27:40Who's he?
00:27:41That is one of the great art teachers of our time.
00:27:45Well, it doesn't look like it to me.
00:27:47You mean to tell me you've never heard of Mr. Marvin Baxter?
00:27:50Well.
00:27:51Oh, you mean to stand there and tell me with a straight face that you've never heard of the founder of the neo-erotic movement.
00:27:58Him?
00:27:59Well, I...
00:28:01I didn't know it was THE Marvin Baxter.
00:28:05I couldn't tell in this light.
00:28:07Actually, my dearest friend Ethel has one of his prints.
00:28:10She bought it at Kmart.
00:28:12Yes.
00:28:12Well, you'll have to excuse me.
00:28:14It is time for my sensitivity session.
00:28:16Well, I...
00:28:17Uh, Ronnie, I would appreciate it if in the future you wouldn't mention my name to just, well, you know, to anyone who comes to the door.
00:28:26Oh, golly, I'm sorry.
00:28:27It's just that I can't stand people who don't stay in touch with culture.
00:28:31You know what I mean?
00:28:32Yeah, well, you can't make a barbarian a gentleman just by turning his spear into a credit card.
00:28:38Wow.
00:28:39That's deep.
00:28:40You know, I sure wish that you could meet my father and my brothers, because they used to take care of me and they believed in me.
00:28:48And now you guys believe in me, too.
00:28:51And your father and your brothers?
00:28:53Are they in town here?
00:28:54No.
00:28:55They're on the road, mostly.
00:28:57I hardly ever see them anymore.
00:28:59Oh, that's too bad.
00:29:01Well, it's time for your lesson for today.
00:29:05The sensuous artist.
00:29:07Mm-hmm.
00:29:09The happy painter.
00:29:10Tropic of Candid?
00:29:14Yes.
00:29:15Now, I want you to study very closely what these famous people have done to improve their minds and bodies.
00:29:21Remember, Michelangelo did his best work on his back.
00:29:25I'll read every word twice.
00:29:28Good.
00:29:29All right, now.
00:29:30Close your eyes.
00:29:32Let your mind drift.
00:29:34You must prepare for Alfredo.
00:29:38Oh, Alfredo.
00:29:39Alfredo.
00:29:41Make me worthy, Alfredo.
00:29:50I'll call you the next time Henry leaves town.
00:29:54Yes, you do that.
00:29:55I think I would like to play much.
00:29:57I'll call you the next time Henry.
00:29:58I'll call you the next time Henry leaves town.
00:29:59I'll call you the next time Henry leaves town.
00:30:00I'll call you the next time Henry leaves town.
00:30:01I'll call you the next time Henry leaves town.
00:30:02I'll call you the next time Henry leaves town.
00:30:02I'll call you the next time Henry leaves town.
00:30:03I'll call you the next time Henry leaves town.
00:30:04I'll call you the next time Henry leaves town.
00:30:04I'll call you the next time Henry leaves town.
00:30:05I'll call you the next time Henry leaves town.
00:30:06I'll call you the next time Henry leaves town.
00:30:07I'll call you the next time Henry leaves town.
00:30:07I'll call you the next time Henry leaves town.
00:30:08I'll call you the next time Henry leaves town.
00:30:08Hello, may I?
00:30:35Could I?
00:30:38Would you let me know, you?
00:30:41I believe that Herb is expecting me.
00:30:44Who should I say is calling?
00:30:48Alfredo.
00:30:53Here's my man.
00:30:55Alfredo.
00:30:56Well, Herb.
00:30:57Dear Alfredo, I've heard so much about your style, not unlike my own.
00:31:01Of course, I'm always ready to take lessons from a master.
00:31:04Lenny's always taking lessons in something.
00:31:06Someday he'll find out what he can do.
00:31:08And this is Marvin.
00:31:10Oh, the artiste.
00:31:11Oh, no, not really, just advertising.
00:31:14So much for introductions.
00:31:15Let's get down to business.
00:31:16Sit down.
00:31:20Now, tell me about this young woman.
00:31:24Ronnie?
00:31:25Her name is Ronnie.
00:31:28Ronnie.
00:31:29Well, I suppose that's short for Veronica.
00:31:34Ah, Veronica.
00:31:37That is much nicer.
00:31:39Well, anyway, we've told her that you're the foremost critic of the neo-erotic art movement.
00:31:43You see, she believes that you're going to, uh, how shall I say, um, imbue her with the spirit of the movement.
00:31:51Oh.
00:31:52When the spirit is willing, it can move mountains.
00:31:57You don't mind if I write some of this down, do you?
00:31:59This is the kind of stuff that drives chicks crazy, right?
00:32:02Lenny.
00:32:02I see no difficulty.
00:32:06But, uh, why do you want me to, uh, entertain this young woman?
00:32:11Alfredo.
00:32:11You are the greatest lover on either side of the Atlantic.
00:32:17Yes, I know.
00:32:18Yeah, but what Herb means is we think we have a marketable product in Ronnie.
00:32:23And, uh, before she offers her charms to other men, we would like to see how our investment, uh, stacks up in the eyes of an expert.
00:32:30Let's just say you're the sample market.
00:32:33I mean, if she impresses you, the greatest in the world, why then, any man would be pleased.
00:32:39Also, her willingness to do what you want will give us an idea of how far she'll go to get the earthiness necessary to develop her art.
00:32:50And she believes this as truth?
00:32:53Yes, she's very sweet, but she's not what you call your real bright girl.
00:32:57See, female animal knows no intelligence, only instinct.
00:33:06Dynamite.
00:33:07Just dynamite.
00:33:09Of course, we'd be willing to make it worth your while to help us.
00:33:14Then, what would you say then to, uh, lowering my premiums?
00:33:24I think I can arrange that.
00:33:27Is that how you two know each other, Herb, sell your big policy on your life?
00:33:30No, no, on my livelihood.
00:33:31You see, uh, Lloyd's of London has a half a million dollar policy covering my, uh...
00:33:38Ah, you, you know, it's like great pianists insure their hands, in case something should happen to them.
00:33:44Ah, you're into music, too?
00:33:46What a guy.
00:33:47What a...
00:33:48What a guy.
00:33:48What a guy.
00:33:48What a guy.
00:33:52What a guy.
00:33:53yes
00:34:09veronica
00:34:13oh i'm afraid you have the wrong apartment
00:34:15no ronnie
00:34:17oh sure that's me
00:34:18oh i didn't order these
00:34:21no no no
00:34:22they are for you
00:34:23for me
00:34:24but i didn't even know you
00:34:27allow me to introduce
00:34:29myself
00:34:30i am
00:34:32afraid
00:34:34jesus christ
00:34:37oh my god
00:34:37what's going on out there
00:34:39forgive me
00:34:40i didn't know it was supposed to be tonight
00:34:43oh i'm sorry about your nose
00:34:46this is all right
00:34:47i don't think it is bleeding
00:34:49well here come over here and sit down
00:34:51oh
00:34:55look at me
00:34:57oh just give me a minute to change
00:35:00oh here
00:35:04have something to drink
00:35:06oh
00:35:07oh
00:35:10oh
00:35:12oh
00:35:14oh
00:35:16oh
00:35:20Where am I?
00:35:39It's snowing.
00:35:41Snowy?
00:35:42Oh, what have I done?
00:35:44Oh, you poor man.
00:35:46Oh, I've ruined everything.
00:35:50Here, let me help you out of that poor suit.
00:35:55Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:36:00And when Mr. Baxter told me that you would actually come over and evaluate me,
00:36:04well, I have to tell you, it sent chills all over my body.
00:36:10Delightful, Johnny, I am sure.
00:36:13How do you feel now that I'm here?
00:36:16Just super.
00:36:20Well, shall we get started?
00:36:24Come to me.
00:36:26I will be gentile.
00:36:27Oh, no, let's go to the living room.
00:36:30The life's better there because I spoke to my work that way.
00:36:32Here's one that I did about two years ago.
00:36:43It's okay, I guess.
00:36:45But look, here's one that I finished just today.
00:36:49Can you see how I'm changing my whole style?
00:36:51Well, you see, what I'm groping for is, well, my dark spirit.
00:36:57That is too bad.
00:37:02What?
00:37:04See, the pent-up frustrations leaves from out the canvas.
00:37:09Gee, it does?
00:37:10But of course, it is so obvious that sexual overtones are literally bursting for us.
00:37:18This painting, it screams for orgasmic release.
00:37:23Gee, and I thought it was just a picture of a robin.
00:37:30It makes no difference what you paint.
00:37:33Until you start denying yourself as a woman, they will all look this way.
00:37:38Really?
00:37:40I feel obligated to tell you that your case is almost hopeless.
00:37:47Oh, no.
00:37:49When you came to the door, I saw you for the first time.
00:37:53I don't know how to say it.
00:37:56Oh, please tell me.
00:37:58I need to know.
00:38:01I just did not vibrate.
00:38:08What can I do?
00:38:14Nothing.
00:38:17Nothing?
00:38:19Nothing, unless, of course, uh...
00:38:22What?
00:38:23What?
00:38:24No, it is too risky.
00:38:26I can't...
00:38:26Oh, I'll do anything.
00:38:30There is a slight possibility in rare cases, such as this one,
00:38:35that if the desire is strong enough...
00:38:39Oh, it is.
00:38:40It is.
00:38:40That we could, how you say, develop your dark spirit, if...
00:38:47Oh, tell me.
00:38:50Tell me.
00:38:51If you give yourself completely body and soul to any and every man who comes through that door,
00:38:57and fling yourself upon the altar of engorged manhood.
00:39:03All that noise is immoral.
00:39:25Night, Alfie.
00:39:26Yeah, yeah.
00:39:27Yeah, sure.
00:39:27As president of the Halima Screw Factory and subsidiaries...
00:39:49What's Obsidian?
00:39:51But we don't have any yet.
00:39:52That's just a standard way of opening meetings, that's all.
00:39:56I now call to order the first quarterly stockholders' meeting.
00:40:00Marvin, as secretary, will you read the minutes of the previous meeting?
00:40:04What previous meeting?
00:40:05This is our first.
00:40:07And now we come to the president's report.
00:40:10Gentlemen, it is the opinion of the management of this company that operation...
00:40:13Well, you stop with the bullshit.
00:40:16We got real troubles.
00:40:17Why, Alfredo gave her a four-star rating, didn't he?
00:40:20Well, yesterday when I was over there at the building,
00:40:22I happened to run into the mailman coming out of her apartment.
00:40:25He had this delirious grin on his face.
00:40:28Gee, I didn't know things got so far out of hand.
00:40:50Hi, I'd like to talk to you about suction.
00:41:01Now the sucker...
00:41:02Whoa!
00:41:03That's quite an attachment.
00:41:04We've got to control her.
00:41:06She's giving away our product for free.
00:41:11Which brings me to our first item.
00:41:14Gross receipts.
00:41:16Sounds good to me.
00:41:17It isn't.
00:41:18Our total for the quarter is zero dollars.
00:41:22I'm not going to get rich very soon, am I?
00:41:25Obviously, some way has to be found to get some paying customers up there.
00:41:28How do we go about that?
00:41:30Well, we could always advertise.
00:41:32We've had such good luck with that before.
00:41:34Okay, okay.
00:41:35You don't have to rub it in.
00:41:36That took a cab in Pittsburgh.
00:41:38Uh, some other time, huh, Lenny?
00:41:40Well, yeah, he makes a good point here.
00:41:43If cab drivers had her number.
00:41:45Well, that's a start,
00:41:46but cab drivers just aren't enough.
00:41:47We have to have volume.
00:41:49How about bus drivers?
00:41:50Shut up, Lenny.
00:41:51Volume.
00:41:52Volume.
00:41:53Where do you find a volume of horny men?
00:42:01Testy?
00:42:02Testy.
00:42:03It's my pleasure to welcome you folks
00:42:06to the 8th Annual.
00:42:07Oh, 7th Annual.
00:42:10Damn it.
00:42:10Who knows?
00:42:12Now, let's see.
00:42:13ILP slot 6 should be
00:42:14Hubble Brothers, Pipe and Iron, Des Moines.
00:42:17How are you boys doing?
00:42:18Once she's stabilized, we'll have her licked.
00:42:20Wait till you see the demonstration.
00:42:23What demonstration?
00:42:24This here little bitty faucet
00:42:27is going to hold back
00:42:2810,000 pounds of water pressure.
00:42:32You've, uh, tested this before, of course.
00:42:35Well, hell yes, we've tested this.
00:42:37On paper, the son of a bitch really flies.
00:42:40Right, Luther?
00:42:42Tonight's the maiden voyage, though.
00:42:44Yeah, yeah.
00:42:50It's got to be a fifth, Andy.
00:42:51We were in Wichita in 75, weren't we?
00:42:54Well?
00:42:57What's this?
00:42:58ILF slot 10 should be open.
00:43:00Uh, excuse me, but this booth isn't registered.
00:43:03Don't look at me.
00:43:05I can't answer any questions.
00:43:06I'm with the union.
00:43:08Uh, we're, uh, we're putting up
00:43:10the Halima exhibition.
00:43:12I don't see a Helaman listed anywhere.
00:43:14Oh, that's Halima.
00:43:15It's a paint demonstration.
00:43:17Well, you'll have to get a number
00:43:18from the registrar in Sweet Sea.
00:43:20Okay.
00:43:21I'll be sure to take care of it.
00:43:23Paint, you say?
00:43:25Union, I say.
00:43:30It's my pleasure to welcome you folks
00:43:32to the annual Midwest Hardway Dealers Convention.
00:43:38This year, facilities includes
00:43:41many demonstrations.
00:43:42Shortly, the Hubbell brothers
00:43:45will show their latest breakthrough
00:43:48in their exciting world of money.
00:43:51And don't forget to sign up
00:43:53for this year's door prize,
00:43:55which is the eight-ton of asphalt.
00:43:57Come one, come all, and have a ball.
00:44:00This is the best display in the hall.
00:44:03Come one, come all.
00:44:05Have a ball.
00:44:06This is the best display in the hall.
00:44:10How about you, mister?
00:44:12Paint, big deal.
00:44:13Hey, hey, hey, hey, wait a minute, big deal.
00:44:15You haven't seen anything
00:44:16until you've seen the painter.
00:44:20Come one, come all, and have a ball.
00:44:23Tell me again.
00:44:25Well, all artists have exhibitions.
00:44:26But why do I have to be naked?
00:44:29Well, because you're the exhibitionist.
00:44:33Listen, honey, you want to sell your stuff, don't you?
00:44:37Oh, sure.
00:44:38And you believe in the neo-erotic movement?
00:44:41Oh, haven't I shown you?
00:44:42Well, to me you have, Ronnie, yes,
00:44:44but we have to convince people quickly here.
00:44:47And naked, let me assure you,
00:44:49patrons immediately sense your dark spirit.
00:44:52Really?
00:44:53Oh, absolutely.
00:44:54I've heard several of them say,
00:44:56wow, what an artist.
00:44:58Well, Marvin, if you really see...
00:44:59Well, of course it does.
00:45:01Now, you just slip in there
00:45:02and you tell those hungry art lovers
00:45:04all about your work.
00:45:05We'll be right in, handing out literature.
00:45:10Hey.
00:45:10You guys tired of hardware?
00:45:12Want to see some software?
00:45:14Huh?
00:45:15Inside here.
00:45:16Inside here.
00:45:17Software.
00:45:21Inside for software.
00:45:25Now, foam insulation in your newer home.
00:45:42Sounds pretty interesting.
00:46:04No, not really.
00:46:05You know, paint.
00:46:07Paint.
00:46:08All right.
00:46:09Take it off.
00:46:11Stripping.
00:46:11Down to the bare wood, that is.
00:46:12A very important first step.
00:46:14Some of these guys are latex freaks.
00:46:16It takes all kinds.
00:46:17You positive that all's being shown there?
00:46:20That's all.
00:46:21Luther,
00:46:23throw the switch.
00:46:29You see?
00:46:29Yeah, I think maybe we better have a look for ourselves.
00:46:42Holy shit, come on.
00:46:46Oh, thank you, God.
00:46:48I'll try to be better, man.
00:46:49You know what I mean?
00:46:51Come on.
00:46:52Nice demonstration, Hubbo.
00:46:54That's quite a show.
00:46:55Come on.
00:46:56Come on.
00:46:56Hi, how are you?
00:47:22My name is Ronnie.
00:47:23I paint.
00:47:23Do you like it?
00:47:26Are you sure this is going to work?
00:47:34Absolutely.
00:47:35Trust us.
00:47:36This is the act of the century.
00:47:39Well, Mark, and if you really see.
00:47:41Am I even alive to you?
00:47:42No.
00:47:43No.
00:47:43No.
00:47:44No.
00:47:44No.
00:47:45No.
00:47:45No.
00:47:46No.
00:47:46No.
00:47:47No.
00:47:47No.
00:47:48No.
00:47:49No.
00:47:49No.
00:47:50No.
00:47:50No.
00:47:51No.
00:47:51No.
00:47:52No.
00:47:53No.
00:47:54No.
00:47:55No.
00:47:56No.
00:47:57No.
00:47:58No.
00:47:59No.
00:48:00No.
00:48:01No.
00:48:02No.
00:48:03No.
00:48:04No.
00:48:05No.
00:48:06No.
00:48:07No.
00:48:08No.
00:48:09No.
00:48:10No.
00:48:11No.
00:48:12No.
00:48:13No.
00:48:14No.
00:48:15No.
00:48:16No.
00:48:17No.
00:48:18No.
00:48:19No.
00:48:20No.
00:48:21to the International Brotherhood of Taxidermists
00:48:23from the 15th to the 21st.
00:48:26Hey, there he is again.
00:48:27Who?
00:48:28Guy over there, the gray sedan.
00:48:32Don't look at him, just keep walking.
00:48:35Here.
00:48:49Hi!
00:48:50Hi, Ronnie.
00:48:50Hello, dear.
00:48:51Want to see my latest creation?
00:48:54Yeah, in a minute.
00:48:56First, tell me something.
00:48:57Have you noticed anyone sort of hanging around here lately?
00:49:00Well, you mean other than the delivery guy from Plot's Celli?
00:49:03He tried to pry his way in with a loaf of unredicledness.
00:49:06No, no, no, not Plot's.
00:49:07Come over here.
00:49:11I mean that guy.
00:49:13Oh, him?
00:49:13Sure, he's there all the time.
00:49:16Conference time.
00:49:17Oh, goody, what are we going to talk about?
00:49:19Business.
00:49:20You get all the paintings that I haven't seen yet
00:49:23and line them up in here
00:49:24while Herb and I discuss a little matter in the kitchen.
00:49:26Okay.
00:49:26What do you think, a cop?
00:49:33I don't know.
00:49:35Why don't I do a reconnaissance mission in the neighborhood?
00:49:40Good idea.
00:49:41Good idea.
00:49:41Good idea.
00:49:41What can I say?
00:49:51Do you really like it?
00:49:52Oh.
00:49:52We don't open for 15 minutes.
00:50:10Well, that's okay.
00:50:11I don't really want to buy anything anyway.
00:50:13You don't want to buy nothing?
00:50:14Then get out of here.
00:50:16That's no way to treat a potential customer.
00:50:19Look, mister, I sized you up the minute you walked in.
00:50:22At the most, you're good for one hot pastrami sandwich.
00:50:26And maybe, just maybe, a side order of slaw.
00:50:29I don't believe this.
00:50:31Look, mister, you're in a place of business.
00:50:33I got a big overhead here.
00:50:35You see those fluorescent lights?
00:50:37They cost me 65 sandwiches.
00:50:40That means that I got to deal with 65 guys like you
00:50:44to see what the hell I'm doing here.
00:50:46And it ain't worth it.
00:50:49What I want is some information.
00:50:52Your information?
00:50:53You go to the library.
00:50:55Three blocks over there.
00:50:56It's worth something to me.
00:50:59How about five sandwiches?
00:51:02Make it seven?
00:51:04Deal.
00:51:05Look at that.
00:51:06What the hell is it that I know that you want to know?
00:51:09I'll show you.
00:51:10Here.
00:51:12I just want you to tell me who that is.
00:51:15Up!
00:51:15Pass.
00:51:16Pass.
00:51:16Nothing.
00:51:17I'll tell you, mister, you keep your money,
00:51:20I keep my sandwiches, and we're even.
00:51:23I thought we had a deal.
00:51:24Look, you got no deal when it comes to Dominic Scarpucci.
00:51:27Nothing.
00:51:28Dominic Scarpucci?
00:51:30Who's that?
00:51:31Oh, yeah.
00:51:32You sure ain't from around here, boy,
00:51:33or you'd know that Dominic Scarpucci is the meanest son of a bitch alive.
00:51:38You know what they call him?
00:51:39Dominic the Turd.
00:51:41And he earns the title.
00:51:42Let me tell you something, please.
00:51:44When he was a kid, he used to come in here and beat on me just for practice.
00:51:49What's he doing out there?
00:51:50I don't know what he's doing out there.
00:51:52I don't know what he's doing anyplace.
00:51:53I only know.
00:51:54When he was a kid, violence is a hobby.
00:51:57As an adult, violence is a business.
00:51:59And in this neck of the woods, he's got a piece of the action.
00:52:05Everybody's action.
00:52:06I get it.
00:52:07The old protection racket.
00:52:10Yeah.
00:52:10And if he thinks you're going to cut him out, he will cut you up.
00:52:18Put it down there.
00:52:20You didn't give me nothing.
00:52:21I didn't take nothing.
00:52:22And do me a favor.
00:52:23Don't come back here no more.
00:52:30Hello, Marvin.
00:52:31Operation Turd is afloat.
00:52:33Hello, sweetheart.
00:52:42Yeah.
00:52:44Your model is on his way up.
00:52:47Take it easy on him, will you?
00:52:49This is his first assignment.
00:52:51All right.
00:52:52Okay.
00:52:57The whole time I'm with her, you know, she's going on about brush strokes.
00:53:01Can you imagine?
00:53:02Well, the brush strokes further.
00:53:04Oh, man.
00:53:05Hey, you got the time?
00:53:07Yeah, sure.
00:53:08It's a quarter after two.
00:53:10Where are you guys coming from?
00:53:12Up there, visiting a friend.
00:53:15Yeah?
00:53:15What's his name?
00:53:17Ronnie.
00:53:18Ronald.
00:53:20Ain't no Ronald.
00:53:22No, it's a her.
00:53:22She calls herself Ronnie.
00:53:24Yeah, what's she do?
00:53:26Well, she's a...
00:53:27She certainly is.
00:53:28No, no, no.
00:53:29She's a painter.
00:53:29Yeah?
00:53:30I'm the broker.
00:53:31You guys lie.
00:53:32You get lost.
00:53:36Whoop!
00:53:36Whoop!
00:53:37Whoop!
00:53:37Whoop!
00:53:38Whoop!
00:53:38Whoop!
00:53:47Hiya, baby.
00:53:48Hello.
00:53:49Oh, you're so large.
00:53:51I'm sure you'll do just fine.
00:53:52Now, there's no need to be nervous.
00:53:56I know that you're inexperienced, but to be quite honest with you, so am I.
00:54:00Yeah?
00:54:01Uh-huh.
00:54:01Mostly I do animals.
00:54:03What?
00:54:04You'll be my very first person.
00:54:06You can change right in there.
00:54:09Oh, come on.
00:54:10Don't be shy.
00:54:11Huh?
00:54:12Big down?
00:54:13Shy?
00:54:14Huh?
00:54:14Not me.
00:54:15No, I ain't shy.
00:54:16I ain't hungry.
00:54:17Oh, now, don't be silly.
00:54:18Just go over there and sit on the stool like a good boy.
00:54:21Go on, sit out.
00:54:39Here, hold this.
00:54:41I ain't hungry.
00:54:42Oh, now, don't be silly.
00:54:43Just go over there and sit on the stool like a good boy.
00:54:48Go on, sit out.
00:54:51What in the hell is going on here?
00:54:56For your information, Mr. Big Man,
00:54:58I happen to be considering color, texture, and shape.
00:55:04Dominic Scarpucci?
00:55:06Yeah, who wants to know?
00:55:11Mrs. Scarpucci.
00:55:13Oh, look at you!
00:55:21I just don't understand it.
00:55:25All I wanted to do was painting.
00:55:27He was going to be my Greek god.
00:55:28Well, there'll be other days, other gods.
00:55:30What's going on out there?
00:55:32It sounds like a burlet school gone crazy.
00:55:35Italian cooking.
00:55:41Gentlemen,
00:55:41I now call to order
00:55:44the second quarterly stockholders' meeting.
00:55:48Due to the absence of our secretary,
00:55:49I will now entertain a motion
00:55:51to dispense with the reading of the minutes
00:55:53of the previous meeting
00:55:54and to proceed with the agenda.
00:55:56Herb, you know we can't start without Marvin.
00:55:59We have a quorum, don't we?
00:56:01I didn't bring anything.
00:56:04The present must show control.
00:56:06Leadership.
00:56:08Our net income for this quarter was $902,
00:56:11balancing a previous deficit of $900
00:56:13and yielding each stockholder
00:56:16a dividend of 67 cents.
00:56:18All right!
00:56:19What the hell's going on?
00:56:22I just told you I can get my clothes out of the cleaners.
00:56:25Don't get your hopes up.
00:56:27Ronnie's gone.
00:56:28What?
00:56:28You're kidding.
00:56:30Meeting a jerk, that's terrible.
00:56:32Jesus.
00:56:33Scott Pucci!
00:56:34No.
00:56:35I checked.
00:56:36He's still in intensive care.
00:56:38She mentioned a family once,
00:56:40but no, no, they're out of town somewhere.
00:56:41Where? Where?
00:56:42I have no idea.
00:56:44All I know is she has a father and some brothers.
00:56:46When did you see her last?
00:56:47A week ago, Wednesday,
00:56:48when I went over to her place to pick up the money
00:56:50and she was just fine.
00:56:52But when I went over to her place to pick up the money and see her last night.
00:56:56But when I went over this morning...
00:56:57Ronnie?
00:57:00...the place was cleaned out.
00:57:04Old Lady Wildebeest pretended not to know anything at first.
00:57:07Oh, excuse me, ma'am.
00:57:08I'm looking for Ronnie who lives upstairs.
00:57:10Have you seen her?
00:57:11No.
00:57:11And I finally persuaded her to see my point of view.
00:57:15It took some doing, but she did.
00:57:17Oh.
00:57:18Well, maybe this would make it easier for her.
00:57:20I saw her.
00:57:20Yeah?
00:57:21Yes.
00:57:21Well, she left here.
00:57:23It seems that Ronnie left two days ago.
00:57:26I drove around for hours,
00:57:28searching everywhere I could think of.
00:57:30Then I remembered a line from an old detective story.
00:57:34Return to the scene of the crime.
00:57:36Return to the scene of the crime.
00:57:50She left this note.
00:57:57I'm going away for a little while.
00:57:59Don't call me, I'll call you, Lev Ronnie.
00:58:02That's all?
00:58:04Well, how do you like that?
00:58:05After all we did for her,
00:58:08of all the ungrateful,
00:58:10what are we going to do?
00:58:11We wait.
00:58:13Wait?
00:58:14Hey, maybe we should go to the police.
00:58:17Not such a good idea, huh, Bass?
00:58:18There's nothing else we can do.
00:58:20When she's ready, she'll call.
00:58:24I wonder what in the world could have happened.
00:58:27Well, that'll be good, sure.
00:58:29You saw her a week ago, you said.
00:58:32And there was no hint of any problem?
00:58:35I see the sunrise, I hear the sounds outside my window now.
00:58:47I want to go out, and maybe today I'll find my share of what I've been promised.
00:58:59So many feelings so far I've missed.
00:59:03I need someone to need me so much.
00:59:07To give me his love and stay.
00:59:10To be my fantasy.
00:59:14And live out all my dreams.
00:59:20In reality.
00:59:24In reality.
00:59:24In reality.
00:59:37The cause must also be ets now,
00:59:39because the cause we've produced it
00:59:40is also accidental etsic infinitum.
00:59:43That works perfectly.
00:59:43Oh, look at you.
00:59:49I'm sorry, it was an accident.
00:59:50What would you know about the accidental?
00:59:52Oh, look at my trousers.
00:59:54I really don't think red's your color.
00:59:56I can't go to the library like this.
00:59:58I look ridiculous.
01:00:00You know, you ought to get that red right out before it sets.
01:00:04The expunging of stains is not an area into which I've done research.
01:00:07Now, I really don't believe that we could...
01:00:08Oh, I've got three brothers that know all about stains.
01:00:10But we'll need a few things, like vinegar, baking soda.
01:00:13Where do you live?
01:00:16Uh, around the block.
01:00:18Good. We'll go there.
01:00:20No, no, really, that won't be necessary.
01:00:24I can, um, uh...
01:00:24Nonsense. Clothes are very expensive.
01:00:26Now, you let me come home with you,
01:00:28and I'll have those pants off and clean before you know.
01:00:31You will?
01:00:32What's your name?
01:00:33Studying philosophy.
01:00:35Good. I'm Ronnie. I'm studying art.
01:00:38How nice.
01:00:40Are you staring?
01:00:51Oh, uh...
01:00:53I was just thinking, it's...
01:00:55It's nice seeing you up here.
01:00:56Standing there.
01:00:58I mean, it was nice of you to help.
01:01:00Well, the least I could do.
01:01:02Still, it was nice of you to take an interest.
01:01:07Girls, uh, usually don't notice me.
01:01:11I don't know why not.
01:01:13I think you're cute.
01:01:21Well, do you like it?
01:01:25Oh, yeah.
01:01:26Oh, not me silly, the painting.
01:01:29Oh, oh, very much. Very much. Very much.
01:01:32Good. I'm glad.
01:01:34I hoped you would.
01:01:35I do. I do. I do. I do.
01:01:37I, um, I see much, uh, much suffering here. A protest of the, the centuries of indignities
01:01:48heaped upon women.
01:01:49You do?
01:01:51Oh, yes. Yes, and I, uh, I see, uh...
01:01:56A dark spirit?
01:01:57Precisely.
01:01:59At last.
01:02:01You must let me help you.
01:02:03Oh, I already have to.
01:02:04No, no, I know many artists at the university, and together we can expose your work to the
01:02:08mass audience that I want.
01:02:09Oh, your shorts. They're so funny.
01:02:13Well, uh, thank you. Thank you very much for the cleaning and pressing, uh...
01:02:17You better go now.
01:02:21Oh, Hubert.
01:02:23You were funny.
01:02:25But only because you're so serious and such a nice man.
01:02:32Hubert, I like you a lot.
01:02:35Can't I stay?
01:02:38Please?
01:02:39I like you a lot.
01:02:49Hubert?
01:02:53Where have you been all my life?
01:02:57The library.
01:03:02Hmm.
01:03:03So, uh, tell me more about these, uh, trustees.
01:03:15Well, not now, Hubert. Let's have a talk.
01:03:18No, no, no, really. I'm interested, uh...
01:03:20They pay you money just to pay?
01:03:22Sure. They're anxious to spread the neo-erotic movement.
01:03:25Oh, they're real nice to me.
01:03:26The neo-erotic movement. Oh, they're real nice to me. They send these patrons around, and then they...
01:03:34Oh, oh, they purchase your paintings.
01:03:35Uh-huh.
01:03:36Do you know, Hubie, it's the strangest thing. When they come over, they give me all this money without even having seen one of my paintings. And when they leave, I just have to beg them to take one of them.
01:03:49Uh-huh. I don't understand.
01:03:52Well, they come over, and they give me all this money. And then I take off my clothes, and...
01:03:57You take off your clothes?
01:03:59Why, sure, Hubie. I have to show them my dark spirit, don't I? And then they...
01:04:04No, wait, wait. Wait a minute. Oh, boy. No, I think I'm beginning to understand.
01:04:13Ronnie, I want you to tell me everything about these trustees. I want you to go back to the very beginning, and tell me all that happened, okay?
01:04:21Let's start with this Baxter character.
01:04:25Well, let's see.
01:04:27Oh, it started when I went to this advertising agency to look for a job, and they said that I had natural talent, but that my painting screamed for orgasmic relief.
01:04:40And then off went Big Dominic with his wife chasing after him.
01:04:45I tried to explain how he was my Greek god, but she wouldn't listen.
01:04:50And then...
01:04:51Then?
01:04:52And then I met you, Hubie.
01:04:53Ronnie, I want you to, uh...
01:04:57Hubie?
01:04:58Yeah?
01:04:59I don't want to talk about me anymore. Let's talk about you.
01:05:03I will, later. I promise.
01:05:05But first, uh, will you, uh...
01:05:07Will I what, Hubie?
01:05:09Will you...
01:05:10Will you not go back to that place?
01:05:12You know, your apartment?
01:05:14Will you, uh...
01:05:15Will you, uh...
01:05:17Will you, uh...
01:05:19Stay with me?
01:05:24Will you be?
01:05:24Yeah.
01:05:31Wow.
01:05:36Don't worry about money.
01:05:37I have my assistantship.
01:05:39And I think your painting's gonna start doing very well.
01:05:42Do you really like them?
01:05:44Oh, yeah. Yeah, they have, uh...
01:05:45A natural grace about them, like, uh...
01:05:47Like a Grandma Moses.
01:05:49Grandma Moses?
01:05:51Maybe not like Grandma Moses.
01:05:53But you know what I mean.
01:05:53Mm-hmm.
01:05:54Anyway, we'll...
01:05:55We'll see some people.
01:05:56We'll have some shows.
01:05:58And then...
01:05:59And then what, Hubie?
01:06:01Revenge, Ronnie.
01:06:02Sweet revenge.
01:06:04Against your critics.
01:06:05Critics.
01:06:06Yeah.
01:06:07Critics.
01:06:14Want to catch the news?
01:06:16No.
01:06:17All the awful things that happen to the people.
01:06:20I don't want to see it.
01:06:21I don't want to hear it.
01:06:23Ah, come on now, Hurt.
01:06:24Listen, things could be worse.
01:06:27At least we weren't hurt by the deal.
01:06:29We're just...
01:06:30We're just back where we were.
01:06:32Maybe we can go in together on something else, huh?
01:06:34This was going to be the one big deal.
01:06:37I was going to get rich.
01:06:40I thought all over the country we'd have a chain.
01:06:43A Ronnie's.
01:06:45Sort of like, uh...
01:06:46McDonald's, you know?
01:06:47Ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:06:49Well, your insurance business is good.
01:06:52Yeah.
01:06:52I sell insurance.
01:06:55Listen.
01:06:57Do you think I like selling insurance?
01:06:58I don't like selling insurance.
01:07:01I hate selling insurance.
01:07:05Sir, can you get that?
01:07:08I'll get it, big fella.
01:07:10You take it easy.
01:07:14I'm sick of selling insurance.
01:07:16I'm not going to do it anymore.
01:07:18Oh, hi, Lenny.
01:07:18I'm going to convert all of my assets.
01:07:24Hi, Herb.
01:07:26Hey, Lenny.
01:07:27What are you doing here?
01:07:28Well, you asked me over.
01:07:30The hell I did.
01:07:31Wait a minute.
01:07:33Lenny, did you get a note that said, uh...
01:07:35Come to my house tonight at 9.30.
01:07:38Herb, something like that?
01:07:39Yeah, so what do you got?
01:07:39I didn't send you any note.
01:07:42I'd have called it with a thing.
01:07:45Well, what the hell is going on here?
01:07:47Look at this.
01:07:47I got a note like that, too.
01:07:48See?
01:07:50Marvin.
01:07:51Okay.
01:07:52I'll get it.
01:07:56You sure you didn't send for us, Herb, huh?
01:07:58This isn't some kind of a joke or something.
01:08:01That's right.
01:08:02I invited to the whole town.
01:08:04Another note.
01:08:06Get in the car and come and see me.
01:08:09Our age.
01:08:11As of that's all?
01:08:13Who's our age?
01:08:16Ronnie Harris.
01:08:17Oh, Ronnie.
01:08:20Come on, come on.
01:08:21There's a car waiting for us.
01:08:22Yeah, yeah.
01:08:23All right.
01:08:24Come on, big fella.
01:08:24Up and at him.
01:08:25Hey, you know what I'm going to do?
01:08:27I'm going to give Ronnie a raise.
01:08:30Five dollars every month.
01:08:32No strings.
01:08:36Hey, Ronnie's got a nice car.
01:08:38Is that who I think it is?
01:08:40Are there two in this town?
01:08:43Okay, I'm all right.
01:08:44No, it's all right.
01:08:45Okay.
01:08:46Okay.
01:08:46Okay.
01:08:46Okay.
01:08:46Okay.
01:08:47Okay.
01:08:47Okay.
01:08:57Hey, babe.
01:09:05How's this?
01:09:05Keeps me hopping.
01:09:07How's R.H.?
01:09:09R.H.?
01:09:10You talking about my blood, man?
01:09:12Oh, R.H.?
01:09:14Her initials, the girl.
01:09:15Yeah, she's our old lady, Dick.
01:09:17I guess so.
01:09:18But you're not acquainted with her with Ronnie Harris, I meet?
01:09:21No, man.
01:09:22Some lady calls.
01:09:24I do the job.
01:09:25No questions.
01:09:27Something strange here.
01:09:28Wake up, huh?
01:09:29No.
01:09:30Well, we're glad to hear that, Joe.
01:09:31We thought you were muscling in on our territory, Dick.
01:09:34I haven't got that.
01:09:35What?
01:09:35Oh, come on, Joe.
01:09:36You don't have to pretend with us.
01:09:38We caught your act down at that old stag party.
01:09:40Remember that, Dick?
01:09:41You was hustling for sweet crystal.
01:09:44Man, you are inspiration.
01:09:46You thought I was...
01:09:47Oh, come on, now.
01:09:49Business is business.
01:09:50We don't have to mince words.
01:09:51Let's call a spade a spade.
01:09:54Y'all pimp?
01:09:55We're pimps?
01:09:58Who are you calling a pimp, honky?
01:10:01You mean you're not?
01:10:03Me?
01:10:03A pimp?
01:10:04Why, you little...
01:10:06Listen, Charlie, I've been to Notre Dame,
01:10:09and I've got my own business,
01:10:10and it's legit.
01:10:12Joe Marsh Escort Service.
01:10:14I escort people.
01:10:15I don't pimp for them.
01:10:17Don't you think I had enough of that bullshit when I was a kid?
01:10:21Pimp, hell out of it.
01:10:22Hey, listen, Joe, we didn't understand where sorry I am.
01:10:25What'd you say, honky?
01:10:26He said he's sorry, Joe.
01:10:28What?
01:10:29I'm sorry, Joe.
01:10:30Louder.
01:10:31I'm sorry, Joe.
01:10:33I can't hear you.
01:10:35I'm sorry, Joe!
01:10:37Well, that's all right.
01:10:40Herb, Els and I want to watch the news.
01:10:43Where did they go?
01:10:46Good evening, and welcome to your News Live on News Alive.
01:10:56In the hour's top story, the Metropolitan Teacher Strike is going into its third year.
01:11:02Sources close to both sides feel that a quick settlement isn't likely,
01:11:06and we'll have a news film report on that later.
01:11:09Hi, Jill, good to have you back.
01:11:10Well, Bill, actually, it's good to be back.
01:11:12Now, I understand that among other places, you've been in New York.
01:11:16It was really wonderful, Bill.
01:11:18After I covered the United Nations Human Rights for Women Conference,
01:11:22I stopped by Bolivia to help the needy flood victims.
01:11:25You know, Bill, those Bolivians are some really wonderful people.
01:11:29Jill, that does sound exciting.
01:11:31Exciting, yes.
01:11:32But, Bill, you must realize that balancing an exciting career with a meaningful home life can be difficult.
01:11:37But today's woman is up to meeting the challenge, I'm happy to say.
01:11:41And to that line, I'd like to prepare you for tonight's feature.
01:11:45We have with us a really wonderful young artist from right here in our own community.
01:11:50And we'll be talking to her and her male friend a bit later.
01:11:53So long, brothers.
01:12:03Honey, you made him mad.
01:12:13Now what?
01:12:14All right, I guess we go in the door.
01:12:17I'll get it.
01:12:20You'll get it.
01:12:25Ronnie, dear, I understand that you're the leader of a rather large art colony here?
01:12:30Yes, the neo-erotic movement.
01:12:32It's antecedent.
01:12:33If we may let Ronnie speak, she is the artist, is she not?
01:12:37Oh, yes.
01:12:39There are others.
01:12:40Three others in particular.
01:12:41They're the real leaders of the movement.
01:12:43And can you introduce them to us now?
01:12:45Sorry to break in again.
01:12:47You see, these are very busy men, but they have graciously consented to give their...
01:12:50Well, we do have to move on.
01:12:52No, no, really.
01:12:52They should be arriving just about now.
01:12:55Hey.
01:12:55Who's here?
01:12:56Who's here?
01:12:57Ah.
01:12:58Hey, it's Ronnie.
01:13:00Hi, fellas.
01:13:01Hi, guys.
01:13:01We got you a lot of honey.
01:13:03Well, hello.
01:13:04Welcome to News Live on News Alive.
01:13:07Huh?
01:13:07Easy.
01:13:08Oh, my God.
01:13:09There we go.
01:13:10Quite all right.
01:13:11Miles, just in front.
01:13:12They're good?
01:13:13Yes, they're on TV.
01:13:15Would you introduce these three gentlemen?
01:13:17Marge, who's that...
01:13:19This is Marvin Baxter.
01:13:20That woman.
01:13:21And here is Lenny Barnes.
01:13:23That's Marvin Baxter and Lenny Barnes.
01:13:26Thank you, Humie.
01:13:27And here is Herb Gilroy.
01:13:31Herb Gilroy, ladies and gentlemen.
01:13:33You know, I've heard so much about you three.
01:13:36Tell me something.
01:13:37What aspect of Ronnie's work do you find most intriguing?
01:13:40Well, I kind of like...
01:13:41Actually, it's all over.
01:13:43I'm going to kill myself.
01:13:45Oh, no, Herb.
01:13:46Not on TV.
01:13:47What's he mean?
01:13:48Well, he means that he feels bad that we got here too late to go into any depth about
01:13:53Ronnie's marvelous work.
01:13:56Some other time, perhaps.
01:13:57I'm sorry that we have to go, but you're not in foundation business.
01:14:00No, no, no.
01:14:01Not yet, please.
01:14:02Not before Ronnie has told the thousands of people out there just what you did for her.
01:14:06Well, she doesn't have to tell everybody.
01:14:09No, no, I insist.
01:14:10Ronnie, tell the world.
01:14:12Well, they have this foundation.
01:14:16Tell them how they found you an apartment.
01:14:17How generous.
01:14:19Oh, yes.
01:14:19They found me an apartment, and all I had to do was paint.
01:14:23They paid the rent and everything.
01:14:25Oh, and I got to go to the movies.
01:14:26If only there were more like these men in our community.
01:14:30Oh, tell them about the patrons.
01:14:32Oh, yes, the patrons would come over, and they would give me money, and I would take
01:14:37off all of my clothes.
01:14:38Now, wait a minute.
01:14:39You took off your clothes?
01:14:41He told her to.
01:14:44Why did you take off your clothes?
01:14:47Well, Marvin said that I had to on account of the paintings would sell better if the patrons
01:14:53could see my dark spirit.
01:14:55Hubie says that I have a very nice one.
01:14:58I'm sure, but I don't quite understand.
01:15:00Oh, that's all right.
01:15:01You're not an artist, so it's hard to understand, I know.
01:15:05I'll tell you what.
01:15:06I'll just show you.
01:15:07No, Ronnie.
01:15:08Don't do that.
01:15:13Where are you going, Alice?
01:15:16Mothers.
01:15:17You?
01:15:19Reno.
01:15:19Reno.
01:15:19I'm just so happy to be able to do something in return for these wonderful, wonderful men.
01:15:32Marvelous, guys.
01:15:33Perhaps a statement from you, you...
01:15:36I'm just a student, a broadcasting fan.
01:15:38Jill, get back over here in your swivel chair now.
01:15:41The story of the year's right here, Bill.
01:15:44We have an oppressed woman whom these pigs have been...
01:15:46Damn it, we've had enough of this feature's crap already.
01:15:49You get your liberated ass back here right now.
01:15:52You mindless...
01:15:53Stand by, folks.
01:15:54We're coming back.
01:15:55Well, just to show there's no hard feelings, uh...
01:15:58How about I buy all nine of us dinner, huh?
01:16:01Not too hungry.
01:16:03All nine of us?
01:16:04Oh, yeah.
01:16:05Well, uh...
01:16:06You see, I figure you've been so nice to Ronnie that maybe you'd like to meet the rest of
01:16:10her family.
01:16:11So I brought him in just for the show.
01:16:13Hey, like, this is your life.
01:16:15Exactly.
01:16:16Shh.
01:16:17Fellas.
01:16:18Keep it down.
01:16:18We're on the air.
01:16:20Paul's there.
01:16:21Oh, my.
01:16:22You see, like you guys, they're in an interesting business, too.
01:16:26Wrestling.
01:16:27Run.
01:16:28Juliet Lowe.
01:16:2917.
01:16:3121.
01:16:3214.
01:16:35Angel of Nets.
01:16:367.
01:16:36Martin Luther South.
01:16:386.
01:16:39Everall review streaming.
01:16:41Look!
01:16:41You're on TV!
01:16:43Howard, let's have an in-depth look at the weather.
01:16:49Turbulence.
01:16:56What the hell's going on out there?
01:16:58TV camera, too.
01:17:06Three.
01:17:08Oh, no, no.
01:17:09Get the sign up.
01:17:10Get the sign up!
01:17:14Yeah!
01:17:15Yeah!
01:17:15Yeah!
01:17:15Yeah!
01:17:21Dr. Edward.
01:17:23Dr. David Edwards.
01:17:24Outside call.
01:17:253-5-9-2.
01:17:273-5-9-2.
01:17:283-5-9-2.
01:17:30Oh, easy.
01:17:31Slapping easy.
01:17:33Down here.
01:17:35Okay, let's bring in the extra.
01:17:36Can I trust you three together?
01:17:38Of course.
01:17:41Look at Lenny.
01:17:42Nothing bothers him.
01:17:44What, me worried?
01:17:45Hmm.
01:17:45One of these days, Lenny.
01:17:48Out the window.
01:17:50Well, I'm going down to the gift shop and help Marge pick out something nice for Ronnie.
01:17:55Her show was a big success, you know.
01:17:56I'm happy for her.
01:18:00Well, it could have been worse.
01:18:01She could have pressed charges.
01:18:03As it is, you just have to pay for damages to the studio.
01:18:06And look, she sent you fellas at present.
01:18:10Nice likeness of Alfredo, don't you think?
01:18:13Yeah, I'll hang it in the garage.
01:18:15I hope you learned your lesson.
01:18:16Have you got the printouts?
01:18:29Yeah.
01:18:31Where's mine?
01:18:31Where's mine?
01:18:32Yeah, yeah.
01:18:34Now, it's a foolproof system.
01:18:36I have access to the insurance company computer.
01:18:38All Lenny has to do is go to the track and phone us what the odds are.
01:18:42In 30 seconds, the deal is all set.
01:18:43I figure we'll need about 25 phones.
01:18:46What are we going to call this venture?
01:18:48Well, why not call it to the Halima Publishing Company?
01:18:51What?
01:18:52After all, we're bookmakers.
01:18:54And no advertising.
01:18:56No Joe Marshall.
01:18:58No wrestlers.
01:18:59Please, please.
01:19:01And no girls.
01:19:04Amen.
01:19:05No more.
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