- 7 months ago
BF For Hire - Full Movie (2025)
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01Senior year, the culmination of all my careful planning.
00:05Perfect grades, remodel boyfriend.
00:08It's all falling into place.
00:11Hey, Jake.
00:13What'd you want to talk about?
00:15We need to break up.
00:16What?
00:17Come on, Claire.
00:18Things haven't been working out for a while.
00:20But everything was going so well.
00:22I've been seeing someone else.
00:24It's okay, Claire.
00:26I mean, it's not the end of the world.
00:28You'll find someone.
00:29You'll find someone.
00:32Claire.
00:34My jacket.
00:44See, it's cool.
00:50Look, I get it's only been a week, but this moping, it's got to stop.
00:55We were together for two years, Zoe.
00:57Exactly.
00:58Forget him.
00:59This is our senior year.
01:00Literally the perfect time to just start fresh.
01:03I don't want to start fresh.
01:04I just want Jake back.
01:06Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:07Pause.
01:08You want to get back together with him?
01:10Of course I do.
01:11Even though he cheated on you.
01:14Even though he cheated on you.
01:16Everyone makes mistakes.
01:18Oh, okay.
01:19Look, sooner or later he's going to realize how much he misses me.
01:22You know you're my best friend, right?
01:24Yeah.
01:25So seeing you like this, it honestly kills me.
01:29So if you really, really want to get back together with Jake, then I'm willing to help you.
01:37Really?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:40Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:41Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:42Okay, there's one thing you can do.
01:44Like, one thing that'll drive him crazy and just straight back into your arms.
01:47What is it?
01:48Operation Jealousy.
01:51Operation Jealousy?
01:53Yep.
01:54You gotta make him crazy jealous and then he'll be crawling on his knees begging to get back together with you.
01:59Okay, and how do I do that?
02:01Simple.
02:02You bring a hot guy to his birthday party tomorrow.
02:04I don't know.
02:06Seems kind of crazy to me.
02:08Well, you need to trust me because it's gonna work.
02:10Okay, well how am I supposed to find a new boyfriend in the next 24 hours?
02:14Babe, it's 2020.
02:16You know that anything's possible.
02:18Plus, I found this new app called BF Bundle where you can hire a fake boyfriend for the night.
02:24Wait, how do you know about this?
02:26This is about you.
02:28This is about you.
02:29So...
02:30Okay, well how does it work?
02:32Well, first we need to create your profile.
02:34And...
02:35Done.
02:36Now we just wait.
02:37Actually, hold on.
02:38I'm gonna add a bio to make you seem a little bit more...
02:43Fun.
02:44Okay, I am plenty of fun.
02:47Look at you right now.
02:49Okay, fair enough.
02:50Yeah.
02:51And...
02:52Oh, oh, whoa.
02:53You already have a match, dude.
02:54You have a match.
02:55And the reviews are raving that he is a total hottie.
02:58Oh my god, let me see.
02:59Swoon worthy.
03:00Yeah.
03:01Local athlete.
03:02He has a five star rating.
03:03Yeah, that sounds perfect for you.
03:04Wait, why aren't there any photos?
03:05Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy thing you have to commit to at least a meetup.
03:19Oh.
03:20I'll take this.
03:22Let's see.
03:23Wait, what are you doing?
03:24Uh...
03:26Done.
03:27You're meeting him today.
03:29Today?
03:30Yeah.
03:31Like, this today?
03:32This one.
03:33So...
03:34Let's get dressed.
03:35Zoe!
03:36Yeah!
03:37Zoe!
03:38Come on!
03:39Damon!
03:40Hey.
03:41I thought you were at a hockey convention all summer.
03:54No, it ended.
03:55I just got back into town.
03:57Plus, Jake wouldn't stop going on about his big birthday bash.
04:00Guess I'll see you there?
04:02Um, no.
04:03Actually, we broke up.
04:04Oh.
04:05Oh, man.
04:06I'm sorry to hear that.
04:07Thanks.
04:08I'm meeting someone, so have a good night.
04:11Yeah, you too.
04:33You know, I'm sure they'll be here any second.
04:36You don't have to wait.
04:37Thank you, though.
04:38I'm not.
04:39I'm actually...
04:40I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:42Do you have to do it right here?
04:44It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:50I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:52Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:59Drama Queen 2020?
05:00Two, three, nine.
05:01Oh, man.
05:02What?
05:03This is epic.
05:04This is a mistake.
05:05Look, forget about everything.
05:06You can even keep the money.
05:07Oh, no, no, no.
05:08You can't get away that easy.
05:09Please.
05:10Don't tell Jake about this.
05:11Okay.
05:12I won't tell him.
05:13And I'll do you one better.
05:15I'll be your fake boyfriend.
05:18What?
05:21What?
05:22That's why you're in the app, right?
05:23I just wanted to hire someone for a day to make Jake jealous.
05:27Great.
05:28I'm in.
05:29No.
05:30Look, we can't do that.
05:31He's your brother.
05:32He also happens to be a massive jerk for what he did to you.
05:34I mean, I can't believe he cheated on you.
05:37No one's going to believe that you're actually dating me.
05:41Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:44Maybe I'm full of surprises.
05:45No.
05:46Forget it.
05:47Look, I'll find someone else.
05:48Look, you're not going to do better than going out with Jake's older, charming, and
05:53much hotter brother.
05:54Come on.
05:55You want to make him jealous, and I want to teach him a lesson.
05:57It's a win-win.
05:58Hmm?
06:02Fine.
06:03But we follow my plan.
06:04No improvising.
06:05Yes, ma'am.
06:07So, when exactly are we going to do this?
06:10Tomorrow night.
06:11That's his birthday party.
06:13Exactly.
06:14That's his birthday party.
06:16Exactly.
06:17Well, you're definitely full of surprises.
06:22Will you please answer the question?
06:25Geez, take it easy.
06:27I hired you to be my boyfriend.
06:30Remember?
06:31You have to know how we got together in case anyone asks.
06:34Okay.
06:35Okay.
06:36Yeah.
06:37What was the question?
06:38Where did we go on our first date?
06:40Um...
06:41We had a magical night at the movies.
06:44Do people even go to the movies anymore?
06:46Yes, they do.
06:47Isn't that kind of lame?
06:49It's not lame.
06:50It's believable.
06:52No.
06:53What we need is an epic love story to blow everyone's mind.
06:58What epic love story we've been dating for like a week.
07:03Well...
07:04Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:09Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:13I've known you for two years, Damon.
07:16Fine.
07:17Love it.
07:18Second sight.
07:19Look, I just don't want this to blow up in my face because of one misstep.
07:22I'm getting Jake back.
07:24He cheated on you.
07:25It was a mistake.
07:26Besides, I put too much in this relationship just to throw it away.
07:29Wow.
07:30How romantic.
07:31Real relationships never work.
07:32That's why I'm on the app.
07:33With fake relationships, I can enjoy it all without any disappointment.
07:44How romantic.
07:47Uh, well, I gotta go.
07:48I've got hockey practice before the party tonight.
07:49Wait, we haven't even gone over my favorite hobbies yet.
07:50How about you drop the plan and just see where the night takes you?
07:52I'm gonna go.
07:53I'm gonna go.
07:54I'm gonna go.
07:55I'm gonna go.
07:56I'm gonna go.
07:57I'm gonna go.
07:58You're gonna go.
07:59I'm gonna go.
08:00I need a plan and just see where the night takes you.
08:02Ever heard of the risks worth taking?
08:03Ever heard of don't mess with a good thing?
08:04Look, I'll follow your lead tonight but you need to loosen up.
08:08I mean, have some fun.
08:11When was the last time you had fun, Claire?
08:13I have plenty of fun.
08:14Yeah?
08:15Yeah.
08:16That's fun.
08:17That's almost too fun.
08:19Can't wait to see that later tonight.
08:22Nope. No more of that.
08:30Didn't realize you're an expert in makeup now.
08:33What I mean is you don't need any makeup. You already look amazing with that.
08:37You can save the theatrics for now. We're not at the party yet.
08:40No, I'm serious. You look beautiful. You always do.
08:45Thank you. I guess I'm just nervous.
08:48Don't worry. I'll be by your side the whole night. I promise.
08:52You shouldn't have to work so hard for Jake anyway. And you're already way out of his league.
08:57Okay, now I know you're joking.
08:59When you guys first started dating, I couldn't believe my brother's luck.
09:04And you're ridiculously smart. You started all the school plays, got every solo and chorus.
09:09You still had time for math leads.
09:13I can't believe you know all that. I always thought you just ignored me.
09:17You're my little brother's girlfriend. I had to keep my distance, but...
09:21I still paid attention.
09:23You know, when you drop the whole too-cool-for-school act, you're actually a pretty decent guy.
09:28Damon Corral.
09:29Hey, careful. I have a reputation doable.
09:32No, I'm serious. I think you might actually make a great boyfriend.
09:36I mean, when you finally decided to try it with someone, of course.
09:44Claire?
09:46We're here.
09:47People are looking.
10:07Why are they looking?
10:08They're looking because you're with me.
10:10When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun for me.
10:12What?
10:31Ooh.
10:34Ooh.
10:35I'm going to give this drinks.
10:53I'll be right back.
11:01Okay, wow, wow, wow.
11:02It looks like things are heating up.
11:04I know, right?
11:04It's almost like Operation Jealousy might actually work.
11:08Yeah, no, I was talking about you two.
11:10What?
11:10You and the town hottie?
11:12No, I mean, we're just, I don't know, pretending or actually having fun for once?
11:19You know, you two kind of look cute together.
11:21Plus, I haven't seen you smile this much in a long time.
11:25Oh my god, there he is.
11:28Oh my god, there he is.
11:29See, he can't be over me.
11:31Look at his face.
11:32Oh my gosh, is that Chelsea?
11:37So much for girl code, and I thought she was your friend.
11:43He said he'd only give his jacket to his one special girl.
11:48It's time to AF this party up.
11:57Did someone say never have ever?
11:59Woo!
11:59I knew!
12:01Let's play.
12:05I don't think that's a good idea.
12:06Come on, it'll be fun.
12:07So wait, why don't you go first?
12:22Okay.
12:23Um, never have I ever fantasized about a teacher.
12:27Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:41Cute.
12:43Now let's see.
12:44Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:49Never have I ever been some loser's side chick.
12:55Never have I ever been desperate enough to swoop in on someone's ex.
12:59Never have I ever cheated on someone completely out of my league.
13:02Never have I ever slept with basically every girl in this room.
13:10Face it, Claire.
13:11You'll never be more than just another number to him.
13:17Claire.
13:18Claire.
13:23Seriously, Claire?
13:24You're gonna show up to my party just to start drama?
13:26No, I didn't do anything.
13:27It was Chelsea.
13:28Don't blame Chelsea.
13:30You're just jealous.
13:34You know what?
13:35You two deserve each other.
13:38Hey, dude.
13:39Are you okay?
13:40Cause that game was brutal.
13:43And where did Damon run off to?
13:45I don't know.
13:47He said he was gonna be by my side the entire night.
13:49And I thought we were...
13:52Doesn't even matter anymore.
13:53Is Claire Sanders actually breaking protocol?
13:57No matter how hard I plan or how carefully I try to put my life into this perfect little box,
14:02it all comes crashing out around me.
14:04And now the one guy I might actually have real feelings for is off God knows where,
14:09you're probably setting up a new date with a girl in that stupid app.
14:13So, yeah, I'm done planning.
14:17Plans can suck it.
14:18Hey.
14:18Sorry I ran out like that.
14:33I left my phone in the car and I had to grab it to get on the app.
14:35Of course.
14:36What?
14:37Wait, wait, wait.
14:38Where are you going?
14:39Home.
14:40And don't worry, I'll still write a good review for you.
14:42I wouldn't want you to miss out on any more epic dates.
14:45Hey, talk to me.
14:47You just left me in there.
14:49I know.
14:50I'm sorry.
14:51I wasn't thinking.
14:52I don't care anymore, Damon.
14:53Look, you were right.
14:54Jake's an ass.
14:56So, the plan, this, it's over.
15:01What if I don't want it to be over?
15:04You could have your pick of any girl out there.
15:06So, why don't you just get on the app and find someone else?
15:08Yeah, I got on the app because I wanted to delete it.
15:11What?
15:12I deactivated my account.
15:13Why would you do that?
15:14Look, I know I'm just another number.
15:15You're not just another number, okay?
15:17You never were.
15:18I don't want a fake date with you anymore.
15:21All right?
15:22I want a real one.
15:25I want a real one.
15:28I want a real one.
15:31I want a real one.
15:33I thought you said that real relationships never work.
15:40Well, maybe I realize that you're the risk worth taking.
15:44Come on.
15:45Slapshot 239.
15:46Pick me home.
15:51Are you sure I'm doing this right?
15:52Yeah.
15:53Yeah.
15:54Just make sure these two dots match.
15:55They'll make that side a little bit bigger.
16:00Okay.
16:01I'm trusting the process.
16:02I'm just glad we get to go sag together.
16:07You never got a date, right?
16:08No date.
16:09But Thaemon's really not coming.
16:10I bought him a ticket in case he changes mind, but he won't budge.
16:11Well, that's his loss because you never got a date.
16:12You never got a date, right?
16:13No date.
16:14But Thaemon's really not coming.
16:15I bought him a ticket in case he changes mind, but he won't budge.
16:17Well, that's his loss because you are about to be the best homecoming queen that we have
16:21ever seen.
16:22No way!
16:23I don't even know how I got nominated.
16:24And of course, Jake is on the ballot because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins.
16:25I feel like the only reason why our soccer team wins is the only reason why we got a
16:26homecoming queen in a couple of weeks.
16:27I'm just glad we get a date.
16:28I'm just glad we got a date, right?
16:29I'm just glad we got a date, right?
16:30No date.
16:31But Thaemon's really not coming?
16:32I bought him a ticket in case he changes mind, but he won't budge.
16:37Well, that's his loss because you are about to be the best homecoming queen that we
16:42have ever seen.
16:43No way!
16:44I don't even know how I got nominated.
16:47And of course, Jake is on the ballot because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins.
16:51I feel like the only reason I'm on there is because people want to see what Chelsea will
16:54do if I win.
16:55Knowing her, she'll probably dump a bucket of pig's blood on my head.
16:58At least she's vegan, so you know it'll be synthetic.
17:02Maybe Jake, like, campaigned for you guys to reignite something.
17:07Because I heard rumblings that him and Chelsea aren't doing too hot right now.
17:11Ooh, trouble in cheater's paradise.
17:14Shocker.
17:15Where did you even hear that, anyway?
17:18I don't even remember.
17:20You know, gossip travels.
17:22That looks pretty good.
17:24But it could also be your newfound popularity from dating Daemon.
17:28It hasn't exactly gone unnoticed that you get picked up on a motorcycle every single day.
17:33Yes, Daemon.
17:35My knight in shining armor who can't even be bothered to take his girlfriend to her school dance.
17:41I mean, at least he's hot.
17:44So hot.
17:46It's so weird that Joey didn't ask you to be his date.
17:50Um, not that weird.
17:52We haven't talked in a while.
17:53Why?
17:54I thought you were starting to dig him.
17:55As soon as I figured out that our names couldn't have one of those cool celebrity abbreviations,
17:59it was over before it began.
18:01Jay-Zoe.
18:02Zoe.
18:03Zoe.
18:04Absolutely not.
18:05Well, more Zoe for me.
18:08Nothing's gonna keep us apart.
18:11Oh, it's Daemon!
18:13Oh, it's Daemon!
18:15Or should I say, Clairemon.
18:18Can I call you back to finish this?
18:20Yeah, you can.
18:21Clairemon.
18:22But you better, cause we need to finish this look.
18:24Okay.
18:25Bye.
18:26Hey, beautif-
18:28What's up with your eyes?
18:30It's not finished yet.
18:32You look like Amy Winehouse on a Tuesday morning.
18:35Zoe is giving me a tutorial for the dance tonight.
18:37Ah, yes.
18:39I almost forgot who I was speaking with.
18:42My sincerest apologies.
18:44Your royalness.
18:45I know how you can make it up to me.
18:47Nope.
18:48Come on, you're seriously gonna let me do this alone?
18:51You're not gonna be alone.
18:53I thought you were wrong with Zoe.
18:54Plus, if you listen very carefully, I bet you can hear Jay-
18:58Yep, there's Jay bouncing off the walls.
19:01Dude is pumped.
19:02Yeah, because dances are super fun and even more fun if you have a date like he does.
19:07Yeah, for now.
19:09What do you mean?
19:10Chelsea's been soft ghosting him.
19:12I don't think she's that excited about the dance.
19:14Why could that be?
19:16Because yours truly got nominated and she didn't?
19:20Oh yeah, I'm sure that's it.
19:22I bet that is it.
19:24She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:29She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:33And then, you know, for the rest of the school year because I would have to play in prom and then the homecoming queen normally becomes the prom queen and then-
19:40I seriously doubt she's thinking about this a quarter as much as you are.
19:44How could she not be?
19:45Because nobody cares about this king and queen stuff as much as you and Jake. It's lame.
19:51Easy for you to say. You got nominated all four years and didn't even show up.
19:55I get that this seems like a big deal to you now, but I promise when you get out of high school you'll realize none of this stuff matters.
20:02Wow, and you think Chelsea has already reached this higher consciousness?
20:09No, I'm not talking about her.
20:11You know, come to think of it, if you both are so mature, maybe you should skip the dance together and get a cheese board and, you know, talk about all the super important adult stuff that actually matters.
20:22Oh, look. Someone my age is calling.
20:26I didn't mean- Claire!
20:28Bye.
20:35I need to fix this.
20:37Hey, Jake.
20:39Claire!
20:40Hey, um, thanks for picking up.
20:42Whoa, did- did Zoe do this to you?
20:47It's a work in progress. What's up?
20:49Cool. Um, I just wanted to call you and touch base and just, you know, make sure that things don't get awkward tonight.
21:00You mean if we win?
21:02Uh, we're gonna win.
21:04Is Chelsea gonna be upset if we win?
21:10If, um, if she looks up from her phone long enough to notice, maybe.
21:15Aw, texting someone else?
21:17It'd be a shame if she were in, like, a secret relationship. That would suck.
21:21Look, Claire, I know that I can never apologize enough for what I did, but I really am sorry.
21:29I didn't mean to hurt you, and if I could take it back, I would.
21:35It's fine. It's fine. Just, at least she'll be there. Damon won't even come.
21:42Yeah, I never really understood his thing with dances. I mean, like, we always had a great time.
21:49I know. It's a chance to get, like, dressed up and have fun and make grand romantic gestures.
21:55Grand romantic gestures.
21:56Jinx!
21:57Don't tell anyone that I just said that.
22:01Whoa. Is that the dress that you've been saving since freshman year?
22:06Yeah. I can't believe I'll finally be able to wear it. And I can't believe this will be our first high school dance where we aren't going together.
22:18Yeah. You neither. I hope we win so we at least get one dance together.
22:28Well, how about either way, we make it happen. One dance before the night's over.
22:34Deal.
22:36As long as you promise not to step on my dress like you did junior year.
22:39That was sophomore year.
22:41It was both.
22:44Fine. As long as you promise not to bust out your grandma moves.
22:49What? You mean this one?
22:52This one?
22:53Oh, God. My eyes! Stop it! My eyes!
23:00What? Like, you can do better?
23:02Oh, come on. Anyone can do better than whatever that was.
23:06Let's see. By all means.
23:22Oh, uh, sorry. Chelsea's calling me. I should get it. I'll see you later?
23:30Yeah, yeah. See ya.
23:32Hello? Hello? Just trying to show you what you're missing.
23:54Wow. You look incredible.
23:58Thanks. Are you... are you going somewhere?
24:02Yeah, there's a cheese board with my name on it I need to get to.
24:05Look, I'm sorry about before.
24:07I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming and...
24:12I don't know. I really wanted you to be there.
24:14Yeah, I'm sorry too. I... I should have known how important it was to you.
24:18It's okay.
24:19God, how do you... how do you do this?
24:22You're getting pretty dressed up to eat a cheese board with your brother's girlfriend.
24:27If you think I'm going to let my brother have all the fun, you're crazy.
24:31Is this going to match your dress?
24:33You're coming?!
24:35And you got me a corsage?
24:37Is it against the rule to bring your own crowns?
24:39I just want to make sure people know who the true king and queen are.
24:42My grandmother and chit-chit-chit.
24:44Wait, what?
24:45Nothing. Nothing.
24:47I'm just talking to myself.
24:49Okay, well how about a little less chit-chat and a little more boogie.
24:52Come on, Claire, we've got a homecoming to get to.
24:54And I, for one, am wearing my dancing shoes.
24:58Hey!
24:59This part always gets me.
25:15Yes!
25:16Yes!
25:17Yes, it is so sad.
25:19Are you watching hockey right now?
25:20What?
25:21No.
25:22I mean, I'm not not watching hockey.
25:24Come on, babe.
25:25Tell me some slack.
25:26It's my birthday tomorrow and these are two of my favorite teams.
25:27This is a classic, Damon.
25:28Anybody who's anybody has seen this.
25:29Classics just code for old.
25:30I don't know why I bother trying to culture you.
25:32Anyway, what's the plans for tomorrow, birthday boy?
25:33Well, since I've been away for two weeks, I was thinking I could kiss your face for the first half of the day and then, you know, we got to party later.
25:43Crap.
25:44Crap.
25:45Crap.
25:46Crap.
25:47Um, Nico?
25:48Guitar?
25:49Flames is calling?
25:50Who's that?
25:51I completely forgot.
25:52I have a lesson.
25:53Ow!
25:54Oh!
25:55Oh!
25:56Oh!
25:57Oh!
25:58Oh!
25:59Oh!
26:00Oh!
26:01Oh!
26:02Oh!
26:03Oh!
26:04Oh!
26:05Oh!
26:06Oh!
26:07Oh!
26:08Oh!
26:09Oh!
26:10Oh!
26:11Oh!
26:12Is this why you've gotten so into the guitar lately?
26:17Hey!
26:18My favorite student!
26:19And my favorite student's... friend?
26:23We were just watching The Long Way and we lost track of time.
26:27Oh, yes!
26:28I see you took my recommendation.
26:30Such a classic.
26:33Boyfriend.
26:35What?
26:36I'm not her friend.
26:37I'm her boyfriend.
26:38Oh!
26:39Like a guy.
26:40Who was just leaving.
26:42Bye Demon!
26:43I mean, I can stay.
26:44I'd love to see what you two have been working so hard on lately.
26:47But no!
26:48I mean...
26:49No!
26:50No!
26:51No!
26:52She's right.
26:53Music is so personal.
26:54So intimate.
26:55Something to be shared between two.
26:57Or three.
26:58Oh no.
26:59Almost never three.
27:04Young love.
27:05Such a beautiful thing.
27:06Love?
27:07Who said?
27:08I...
27:09I don't...
27:10We...
27:11I...
27:12We don't...
27:13Um...
27:14Have you ever been in love?
27:16Of course!
27:17Yeah.
27:18I've...
27:19I've been in love...
27:20A bunch of times.
27:21I mean...
27:22Not a...
27:23Bunch of times.
27:24The normal amount of times.
27:25There's just a lot of...
27:27Pressure.
27:28On when to say it.
27:29You know?
27:30There's just...
27:31There's a lot of stress.
27:32And then...
27:33You don't know who should say it first.
27:34Or...
27:35When you should say it.
27:36Or if...
27:37If they'll ever say it back.
27:38And...
27:39Maybe I can help you find a way to say it.
27:46Should we begin?
27:48Should we begin?
27:50Yeah!
27:51Yeah!
27:57Damon?
27:58Hey!
27:59Zoe!
28:00What's up?
28:01How are you doing?
28:02I'm good.
28:05That's awesome!
28:06I'm...
28:07I'm also good.
28:08You know?
28:09I've been away at training camp for a couple weeks.
28:10Coming home tomorrow.
28:12So...
28:13Here's a funny...
28:15Little question.
28:16For ya.
28:17Claire's guitar teacher.
28:19Niko...
28:22Yeah.
28:23He's...
28:24He's not even that good looking.
28:25Like at all.
28:26Oh no.
28:27He's a solid 9.5.
28:28And then him playing guitar takes him to about a 12.
28:31I just think it's...
28:32It's weird.
28:33You know?
28:34We...
28:35She's doubled her lessons while I've been away.
28:37We're watching movies they both like.
28:39Wouldn't you feel a little bit weird about your girlfriend hanging out with some guitar player multiple times a week?
28:44I thought you said he wasn't good looking.
28:47Zoe.
28:48Okay.
28:50I wouldn't feel great about it, but I'd be confident in my relationship.
28:55I would know that she really wants to be with me and not him.
28:58I just don't get it.
29:00I mean, she's being so secretive about it.
29:03I haven't even heard her play anything.
29:05Yeah, Damon.
29:06I don't know.
29:07Don't you have any guy friends to call about this?
29:09Who am I gonna talk to, Zoe?
29:11Guys don't talk about stuff.
29:12If only you knew somebody that dated Claire and knew her really, really well.
29:16Jake?
29:17Yeah.
29:18Is that weird?
29:19I mean, it can't be weirder than you calling me about this.
29:22Yeah, okay.
29:23You're right.
29:24You're good friends, though.
29:26Claire's lucky to have you on her side.
29:28Don't stress.
29:29I'm sure there's absolutely nothing to worry about.
29:32Plus, isn't it your birthday tomorrow?
29:34Focus on that.
29:35Yeah.
29:36Thanks, y'all.
29:37I'll see you tomorrow.
29:38Beep, beep, beep.
29:39Beep, beep.
29:45Woof.
29:46Woof.
29:48Woof.
29:49Hey, birthday boy.
29:50Not until tomorrow.
29:51Where's Jake?
29:52He's in the shower.
29:53He just got back from practice and he's disgusting.
29:55I was totally going to wish you a happy birthday, but I didn't have your number.
30:00Yeah, let's keep it that way.
30:02So what's on the agenda?
30:03What time am I picking you up tonight?
30:05Kidding.
30:06Kidding.
30:07Obviously.
30:08Does perfect Claire have a perfect little date planned?
30:11Other than running off the guitar teacher?
30:13Probably not.
30:14Oh, that's right.
30:15She starts dying with Nico.
30:16Wait, you know Nico?
30:18Yeah.
30:19I set them up.
30:20He's amazing.
30:21So, so talented.
30:23So, so talented.
30:25What do you mean you set them up?
30:27Well, she was saying a few weeks ago at the house that she's been wanting to learn,
30:30so...
30:31I don't know.
30:32I suggested Nico.
30:33Oh, great.
30:34So this is your fault.
30:35Thanks a lot.
30:36Where was I?
30:37Sitting right next to her, not listening per usual.
30:40That's not true.
30:42I listen.
30:43Whatever.
30:44Anyway, out of the kindness of my generous heart, I suggested Nico.
30:48Every girl should have a few lessons with him.
30:49He teaches you so much.
30:50I wouldn't expect your smashed hockey brain to understand.
30:51What exactly wouldn't I understand?
30:52What exactly wouldn't I understand?
30:53What exactly wouldn't I understand?
30:54Music, art, culture, languages.
30:55You're not, like, afraid she's gonna ditch you for a guy she can actually have a conversation
30:57with.
30:58Are you?
30:59But we have conversations, Chelsea.
31:00Is Jake out of the shower yet?
31:01Oh yeah, but what, huh?
31:02Hockey?
31:03And then hockey?
31:04Hockey?
31:05Hockey?
31:06And then hockey?
31:07Oh, of course, right.
31:08There's always hockey.
31:09Seriously, though, Damon, hockey's like your one true love and it's kind of boring.
31:11I love other things.
31:12Like what?
31:13Like Claire.
31:14And I don't want her running off with some, but I don't want her running off with some
31:15other things.
31:16I love other things.
31:17Like what?
31:18Like Claire.
31:19And I don't want her running off with some guitar playing art culture looking snob, alright?
31:37Look, I'm not saying I'm an expert on all things Claire, but dating brothers has forced
31:46us to hang out with each other more than either of us would have liked and she's actually
31:51kind of interesting.
31:54So, maybe you should at least pretend to care about some of the things she likes.
31:59Yeah.
32:00It's actually not terrible advice.
32:03Consider it my birthday gift to you.
32:06Gee, thanks a lot.
32:08So, what are you still doing here?
32:10Go before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:14Bye!
32:16Yeah, yeah.
32:17Okay, whatever.
32:18Thanks, bye.
32:19Hey!
32:20I was just gonna call you.
32:21You're all dressed up.
32:22Damon, I've been wanting to tell you how I feel.
32:24And, and I, I, this was going to be your birthday surprise.
32:25But, I just...
32:26I didn't think it came out of the way.
32:27I was just gonna call you, which is gonna call you.
32:28What?
32:29You're all dressed up.
32:30Damon, I've been wanting to tell you how I feel.
32:32Hey! I was just gonna call you.
32:42You're all dressed up.
32:44Damon, I've been wanting to tell you how I feel.
32:48And this was going to be a birthday surprise, but...
32:52I just... I didn't think I could wait.
33:02You're the cream in the coffee, you're the apple of my eye.
33:14You make me wanna laugh when I think I'm gonna cry.
33:18Like you're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
33:26I have to say...
33:30Bye.
33:32I love you.
33:34I love you too.
33:36Moment stealer.
33:38I'm sorry, but I needed you to know it.
33:40I love you so much, Claire.
33:42And I'm sorry that I got weird earlier, but I talked to Zoe and...
33:46You talked to Zoe?
33:48Yeah, and she told me not to worry.
33:50And she told me that she always has your back, which I love.
33:52Huh. Love.
33:54And I talked to Chelsea.
33:56Ew, why didn't you talk to Chelsea?
33:58No, she sucks.
34:00But she did say one thing that wasn't terrible.
34:02I wanna make more of an effort to share your interests, Claire.
34:06I wanna watch whatever you wanna watch and talk about musicals.
34:10Even the old ones, I don't care.
34:12Just, no subtitles. Deal?
34:14Deal.
34:16Okay.
34:18Babe?
34:19Yeah?
34:20Do you think I could finish my song?
34:22I worked really hard on it.
34:24Yes, please.
34:26Soon!
34:28Ooh.
34:30Blue and white, Baby, as bright as the sky.
34:32Hit it in the clouds and then we're down so high.
34:36Meek?
34:37You're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
34:40Have to say, I love you.
34:44Have to say, I love you.
34:49Do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
34:52Do, do, do, do, do.
34:56Did you change your pillowcases?
34:59No.
35:00Claire, do not leave them there.
35:01That looks like trash.
35:04Do you have time to do a load of laundry?
35:05Not really, but yeah.
35:08Did you get the champagne?
35:10Yes.
35:11Chocolates.
35:12Rose petals.
35:13Massage oils.
35:14scented candles all of that Claire I'm I'm playing with you I literally don't
35:19understand why you're freaking out right now one Damon's been in your room and
35:23two you're not a virgin I'm a virgin to sleeping with brothers true that's
35:29awkward is there a term for that sleeping with brothers please do not ever
35:39Google that ever you're not helping so look this is a big night tonight that's
35:46it what do you mean this is it going back going back to what to Jake have you guys
35:55been talking or something no not talking just I don't know we dated for so long it
36:02feels like a betrayal you know and plus I know Chelsea broke up with him so I know
36:09he's not in a good place about time she dragged that on long enough
36:14what's that supposed to be nothing Claire I don't think you sleeping with your
36:18boyfriend is a betrayal you're good you think they'll talk about it oh my god
36:23what if they compare notes oh god that's so awkward I think the only one that gets
36:27to do the comparing is you plus Damon is gonna be ten times better than Jake think
36:32about all that experience why would you say that so I didn't even think of it
36:38like that he's been with so many girls what if he thinks I don't know what I'm
36:43doing thanks a lot that's literally not what I meant at all wish me luck bye hey you are
37:04definitely running late but since you are shirtless and you probably smell good
37:10I'll let it slide you are definitely running late but since you are shirtless and you
37:18probably smell good I'll let it slide hey so I got some news bad news no just do you
37:26remember Natasha Natasha your super hot ex who ran away to live off the land in Japan ride her
37:35bicycle across Thailand but yeah great so you remember she's back oh so it's horrible news I
37:42know we're supposed to hang tonight do you mind if I rain check do I mind if you bail to run off with
37:47a literal model who also happens to be your ex-girlfriend I know it's a little bit weird but I promise she
37:56just wants to stop by show me some pictures and she's leaving again like a week wait wait she's coming
38:01over to your place why can't you just insta-stalk her like any normal ex-boyfriend actually do not she is the
38:11literal girl version of you that's exactly why we didn't work trust me it's strictly a friend
38:16I don't know I know who you guys were when you were together you couldn't keep your hands off each
38:21other yeah now I can't keep my hands off you I'm being serious we both have exes Claire come on
38:27don't forget I'd watch you date my brother for two years don't forget I'd watch you date my brother
38:32for two years okay I don't want to fight I just I really wanted to spend time with you tonight
38:38I was hoping this could be our special she's here I gotta go love you
38:44I know I said I wanted updates but definitely did not mean in real time
39:00haha funny you know what else is funny Damon running off with his ex-girlfriend
39:06wow which one please don't say Natasha
39:10didn't she move to the Philippines? Thailand in just for the year sadly Damon finally moving on
39:21must have triggered her spidey sense and now she's returned to ruin my perfect night
39:25Claire she's an influencer not a comic book villain same difference
39:30okay Natasha's back but that doesn't have to mean anything was Damon acting excited or weird
39:36he showered okay he's pretty he does that anything else I trust Damon I don't trust her
39:46shit she just posted a story I can't look at it she'll know she has 80,000 followers
39:54she's not gonna see your name I can't look Zoe you look
39:58what is it are they are they kissing are they back together okay maybe you should look at it so
40:06you can stop freaking out
40:08why would you have me look at that
40:16this is it you're gonna get married have two and a half kids and have a yurt in Iceland
40:24you know I did hear that Reykjavik is really beautiful in springtime actually
40:28again with the not helping but this was supposed to be our biggest night of our lives I'm allowed to be disappointed
40:36but you're being insane Damon loves you he's not getting back together with Natasha
40:41did you see the photo he is supposed to be drinking and snuggling with me not her
40:47they're not snuggling and to be fair you didn't tell him about this perfect night so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader
40:54you didn't tell him about this perfect night so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader
41:00what's going on why are you taking my side on this
41:03nothing's wrong with me I'm just saying that like whatever I gotta go don't trip I'm sure it'll be fine
41:12hi
41:26are you calling from Reykjavik?
41:28what?
41:29nothing
41:30where are you? thought you were hanging out with Natasha
41:33uh yeah I was but you know there's only so many pictures of Thailand a person can take
41:37what happened?
41:39nothing what? nothing
41:41nothing nothing or something nothing
41:44you were right
41:45that was a bad idea it was stupid for me to think we could just hang as friends
41:49she hasn't changed at all I mean she invited me to go to Bali with her and she tried to kiss me
41:55wait
41:56you kissed?
41:57no no she tried look I'm really sorry Claire I shouldn't have put myself in that position
42:02did you want to kiss her?
42:04no way are you kidding? you're the only person I want to kiss like ever
42:09why don't you say that to my face
42:12why don't you let me up? I'm outside
42:15you're here?
42:17wait are you sure? I only have 700 followers
42:20please you know she bought all those followers right?
42:23what?
42:24100% but do I see some black silk under there? I'm much more interested in that
42:30come on let me up
42:38keep going now target zone for the tree punches right for the front of the face palms are down elbows are tight
42:44there we go
42:45damon's texted me I love you three times since this morning
42:51who need to get some mushy after sex?
42:53that's awesome
42:55and he took me out for breakfast
42:57did I say that already? like four times
43:00oh well now I guess I said it five
43:02anyway could you hear that Natasha pays for her followers?
43:06how embarrassing and sad is that?
43:09two uppercuts let's go
43:11uppercuts target zone where is it? underneath the chin
43:13elbows head to the body
43:15now
43:16wow that's actually the first question you've asked me in months
43:21whoa are you mad at me?
43:23not mad I'm just tired
43:26well we can pause it I mean no Claire
43:29I'm tired of this one-sided friendship dance that we've been doing since you started dating Damon
43:34I don't know what you're talking about
43:36you realize that we were supposed to go to homecoming together right?
43:38and then Damon came
43:40and the only time you call me is to ask or talk about Damon
43:43and now Damon's calling me to talk about you and I am tired of it
43:47we're supposed to be best friends right?
43:49I am your best friend
43:50no I'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel
43:53I am your best friend
43:55no I'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel
43:58well I'm sorry I'm talking a little too much about my boyfriend
44:02but I don't think it's fair to say that I've been a bad friend
44:04I mean
44:05well I think a good friend would notice that their best friend
44:08has been going through something huge the past few months
44:11oh my god what? Zoe are you okay?
44:14yeah I'm actually great
44:18I've been seeing someone and it's getting pretty serious
44:21but it's been exhausting not being able to just talk to you about it
44:26you can talk to me about anything
44:28this is so exciting who is it?
44:30it's not important
44:31what do you mean it's not important?
44:34I want to know who stole my bestie's heart come on
44:37she didn't steal anything it just kind of happened
44:41I didn't think we'd get along so well but
44:44she's just perfect
44:47okay so we've established it's a girl
44:51I mean that shrinks the pool a little but you still haven't given me a good enough hint
44:55okay maybe she's not perfect and it's just like the honeymoon phase talking
45:00I don't know
45:01I don't know what we are
45:03it's like we're dating but we haven't put a label on it yet
45:08I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea
45:12what does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:15because I'm the first girl she's ever been with
45:18hold on you're dating Chelsea? like ruined my life Chelsea
45:23are you kidding me? we hate Chelsea!
45:25you know she broke up with Jake and he's like devastated right?
45:29okay but we don't care about Jake we care about me right?
45:33so you're the other woman now
45:35that's why we're dating Chelsea
45:37you know she broke up with Jake and he's like devastated right?
45:40okay but we don't care about Jake we care about me right?
45:43we don't care about Jake we care about me right?
45:46so you're the other woman now
45:48that's not fair especially because she wasn't even that into him
45:51I'm sorry what?
45:53she weaseled into our two year relationship because she wasn't that into him?
45:58Claire why are you so wrapped up in that?
46:00aren't you in heaven with Damon?
46:02because I haven't heard you shut up about him in the last three months
46:05well I'm sorry I didn't shut up long enough to hear of your disastrous plan
46:09to date the she devil herself I would have talked you out of it
46:13you don't even know her Claire
46:15seems like I don't know either of you
46:16and whose fault is that?
46:18listen I can tell you exactly what Damon had for breakfast
46:22but as soon as I share an important detail of my love life for once
46:26you get up on your high horse and you rain judgment on everyone below you
46:30I'm over it
46:32well that went well
46:43uh oh how bad
46:45if a dumpster fire filled with fuzzy puppies was a tin
46:49then that was a 14.7
46:52gross
46:53I'm sorry babe I know it couldn't happen easy
46:56but at least Claire stopped talking long enough for you to tell her?
46:59that feels like a small win
47:01I guess
47:02I don't know it's hard because I don't even know what I'm supposed to be telling her
47:06like I didn't say that you were my girlfriend because you and Jake just broke up
47:10and I totally respect that
47:12I think after last night it's pretty safe to say you're my girlfriend Zoe
47:18cool
47:20cool
47:22Chelsea I really like you and I haven't been this happy with someone in a long time
47:28I just wish that Claire could get her head out of her butt for five seconds to be excited for me
47:35whatever
47:37I don't need her
47:38I have you
47:39as much as I'd love to have Claire out of my life forever
47:43you guys have way too much history to throw it away
47:45but that dumpster fire I was talking about yeah it's active
47:49babe I'm serious you guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the needy one
47:55yeah well her 90 days have expired they're done I'm over it
47:59I've never known you to be the type to not say what's on your mind but for some reason with Claire you just bottled up and it's like it's like you forgot how to stand up for yourself
48:02well she dominates every single conversation with me and Damon did this and me and Damon did that
48:09so you're telling me you haven't had a single chance to tell her about us or about how you were feeling or you may be holding back because you knew how she'd respond
48:16maybe
48:17maybe
48:18Claire's the one who needs to apologize but she's not the only one in the wrong
48:22why do you have to be so perfect?
48:23that habit
48:24alright let me figure this out
48:25why do you have to be so perfect?
48:26that habit
48:27alright let me figure this out
48:29okay call me back
48:30bye
48:32hey what's going on?
48:35Chelsea?
48:36hi
48:55Hey, what's going on?
48:59Chelsea? Did I open a cursed box?
49:01Was I a serial killer in a past life?
49:04What horrible karma am I due that Chelsea exists to date everyone I love?
49:08She hasn't dated me.
49:09I will literally murder.
49:11She hasn't dated me.
49:12I will literally murder.
49:14Sounds like you'll be a serial killer in this life, too.
49:17Why aren't you more bothered by this? Don't you feel bad for Jake?
49:20No, do you?
49:21No. Look, she has just weaseled her way through our entire friend group, and I'm sick of it.
49:28I thought you guys were becoming butts. Didn't she set you up with Miko?
49:31Oh, yeah. Another way how she's ruined our lives.
49:35Why can't she just stay in her lane?
49:39What?
49:41Nothing. I just... I hope you weren't like this with Zoe.
49:44I think it's cool. Zoe's never really had a relationship stick, has she?
49:48So, maybe the fact that she's bringing this up to you could be something serious.
49:53Why'd she wait so long to tell me, then?
49:56Maybe because she knew you were going to act like you did.
49:59Okay, so you think I'm the jerk.
50:01No, no. I just... I think it's... maybe it's your turn to be the best friend.
50:06Yeah, the best friend to someone who's just screamed at me.
50:09Zoe's literally never screamed at anyone. She's the chillest person I know.
50:13I'm sorry to say it, babe. You know I'm on your side, but if she's this upset...
50:19I was wrong.
50:21You're still very cute, though.
50:23And I bet you're even cuter when you apologize.
50:26Not that I've ever seen it, but I'm sure we'll get there one day.
50:30Don't hold your breath.
50:31Okay. I am going to give her the best, best friend apology she's ever had.
50:40You got this. I'm proud of you.
50:43And thanks for loving me, even though I'm a teeny tiny bit difficult.
50:49Of course. You got this.
50:56Pick up. Please pick up.
50:57Never have I ever...
51:01Been the biggest jerk in the history of the world.
51:04I was gonna say been so selfish to someone who's always been there for me, but yours works too.
51:11I messed up.
51:13You messed up big time.
51:14I know. I freaked.
51:17I'm just... I'm so tired of hearing Chelsea's name.
51:21But that doesn't matter.
51:24Because this isn't about me.
51:26Well, you're gonna be hearing it a lot more.
51:30Seriously, Claire.
51:31I've never felt this way about anybody before.
51:35I think she might be...
51:37My person.
51:39If you're happy...
51:41I'm happy.
51:43Truly.
51:44Look, I love you, so...
51:46You're my best friend.
51:47And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:51You're my best friend.
51:53And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:57You know there's an app for that.
51:58Best friend for hire?
52:00Yeah, but unfortunately, they don't seem to have anybody as good as you.
52:04I checked.
52:05I'm sorry, too.
52:11I should have told you way sooner.
52:14It's just I was afraid that you were gonna freak out, which you did.
52:17And I know Chelsea's probably the worst person for this to happen with, but...
52:22If you guys just gave each other a chance, I'm sure you would get along.
52:25Wait...
52:28Chelsea doesn't like me?
52:32But if you like her, I guess she can't be all that bad.
52:39Now, spill the deets.
52:41You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:43Well, let's just say last night wasn't just...
52:46Your special night?
52:55You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:56You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:57You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:58You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:59You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:00You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:01You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:02You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:03You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:04You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:05You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:06You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:07You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:08You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:09You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:10You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:11You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:12You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:14You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:15You have dirt to catch me up on.
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