- 6 weeks ago
romance between an agnostic man and a Muslim woman faces challenges as they navigate cultural and religious differences.
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00:05:17Trans 쓰는 mü zaczy
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00:05:26What are you asking me now?
00:05:30People change.
00:05:32And, you know, frankly, I really don't need any more drama in my life.
00:05:36So yes, I'm asking.
00:05:38That's the deal, right?
00:05:40We can go see whoever we want.
00:05:56Name, please.
00:06:16Vivian.
00:06:18Okay, you're good.
00:06:20Name, please.
00:06:22Ara Jalali.
00:06:24Sasha's friend, right?
00:06:25Yeah.
00:06:26Go ahead.
00:06:27Name, please.
00:06:28Alice.
00:06:29I didn't think you'd make it.
00:06:34Wow, it all looks so beautiful.
00:06:37It's amazing.
00:06:38I'm so glad you're here.
00:06:40Me too.
00:06:41You know.
00:06:43He's gonna be coming here later.
00:06:45Okay.
00:06:46Which one is it this time?
00:06:47Jamarque, of course, my Frenchman.
00:06:50What about you?
00:06:53What about me?
00:06:54Don't make them.
00:06:55There's no time.
00:06:56Why don't you make time?
00:06:59You keep staring at my champagne.
00:07:01You want some?
00:07:02No.
00:07:03I just like the smell.
00:07:05I love you, Ara.
00:07:07Excuse me.
00:07:08You have a bio?
00:07:09Excuse me.
00:07:10Okay.
00:07:11Okay.
00:07:12...
00:07:29What were you thinking?
00:07:42Beg your pardon?
00:07:43When they took the photograph of you, what were you thinking?
00:07:46I don't know.
00:07:48My friend took it.
00:07:50It's more of a favor to her.
00:07:53You didn't answer the question.
00:07:56The answer is nothing.
00:07:59It was a windy day.
00:08:03Kind of chilly.
00:08:05I was just looking up at the clouds.
00:08:08That's impossible.
00:08:09No one really thinks about nothing.
00:08:11Excuse me?
00:08:12Maybe you're thinking about how cold it was outside.
00:08:15Or about how you want this to turn out well for your friend.
00:08:19It's just a turn of phrase.
00:08:22Why not say my mind was wandering or nothing in particular?
00:08:26Saying just nothing that's inaccurate.
00:08:29You take things pretty literally.
00:08:33I go to school with you.
00:08:36We're in the same department.
00:08:37Ben Johnson.
00:08:41It's an amazing photograph.
00:08:43Everyone's really raving about your work.
00:08:45You're about to defend.
00:08:46Fourth year in.
00:08:47Is it ever really ready?
00:08:52What about you?
00:08:54I am woefully behind, actually.
00:08:59That was helpful.
00:09:01What?
00:09:01What we did earlier.
00:09:02Back and forth about nothingness was helpful.
00:09:10Do you have five minutes, actually?
00:09:13Just to bounce some ideas off of you.
00:09:17That's cool.
00:09:17Okay.
00:09:20Yeah?
00:09:21Sure.
00:09:25I'm writing about the concept of fate and John Calvin's teachings on predestination.
00:09:30How it affected Western philosophy.
00:09:33So where's your trouble?
00:09:34I compiled this great reading list.
00:09:36I did all this research.
00:09:38And then my first draft just sucked.
00:09:40You didn't send any segments to your advisor?
00:09:43Something like that.
00:09:47I don't know.
00:09:47I think philosophy is more about talking and fleshing out truths.
00:09:51It sounds like maybe you procrastinate.
00:09:56How do you know it's procrastination?
00:09:58You're in your last stage of a PhD program.
00:10:01You must have written papers in your master's that were good enough to get you here, right?
00:10:06Right.
00:10:07So you've probably had this habit for a while.
00:10:12What about yours?
00:10:14My dissertation?
00:10:15Yeah.
00:10:18It's about Cameroonian philosophy pre-colonization.
00:10:21How their ideas might have been different without European intrusion.
00:10:27It's like trying to ungraft a vine from a tree.
00:10:30How would have looked, you think?
00:10:31Better?
00:10:33That's subjective.
00:10:35I believe thought develops best out of captivity, so...
00:10:39In that respect, yeah, better.
00:10:42What about you and Calvin?
00:10:45Would have been better had he not come along.
00:10:47Or if his teachings never took off.
00:10:50I don't know.
00:10:51I never really weighed in on that specific topic.
00:10:55You don't have an opinion on how a major movement like that affected your religion?
00:11:00I'm agnostic.
00:11:01I don't have a religion.
00:11:03Ah.
00:11:04That can't be a surprise.
00:11:05Most of the departments that way.
00:11:06I don't have an opinion on how a major movement like that, but I think the Reformation was more about freedom from Rome and the Pope.
00:11:21I mean, King Henry, come on.
00:11:23That had nothing to do with God.
00:11:24He just wanted a divorce.
00:11:24But I mean, maybe separation from the papacy was a good thing.
00:11:32I mean, I want to be Catholic, right?
00:11:34I'd better get going.
00:11:43It's nice running into you.
00:11:44Yeah, you too.
00:11:46Um, do you want to make me meet up again?
00:11:49Like, can I get your number?
00:11:50Um, sure.
00:11:55Okay.
00:11:56Um, here.
00:11:58Let me have yours.
00:11:59Yeah, I'll text it to you.
00:12:00Nice try.
00:12:01Just put it in here.
00:12:06There you go.
00:12:08Thanks.
00:12:10It was good to bring it to you.
00:12:10You too.
00:12:19Ara, don't forget to schedule dinner with Najeef's parents this week.
00:12:26I know you hear me.
00:12:40Allahu Akbar.
00:13:07Allahu Akbar.
00:13:07Allahu Akbar.
00:13:09My faith in Allah has been a source of strength and peace for me.
00:13:18It feels like a lifeline, really.
00:13:20Something that saves me from drowning when I'm at my lowest.
00:13:24That's why staying pure before Allah is so important.
00:13:28We're created to crave God, to want Allah.
00:13:33But it's the human challenge to make our bodies and our minds sync up with Allah.
00:13:38Allahu Akbar.
00:13:40Last Friday, we talked about how the Holy Prophet, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasalam, said,
00:13:45the best treasure is an obedient wife having a good disposition so that her husband is pleased to see her.
00:13:54And when the husband is not home, she protects her chastity.
00:13:58But at the same time, I feel like God wants us to explore the world that he gave us.
00:14:06I think that's a big part of our relationship with him, too.
00:14:11Hello?
00:14:12Hello?
00:14:12Dr. Jalali, I presume?
00:14:27Not yet, Mom.
00:14:29Can you stop by the mosque and get the tablecloths that I loaned to Najeeb's mom?
00:14:37Okay.
00:14:38Why don't you have dinner with them this week?
00:14:40Mom?
00:14:48Mom, I'll think about it.
00:14:50I have to go.
00:14:50Love you.
00:14:51Bye.
00:14:52Bye.
00:14:52You're good.
00:15:13Thanks.
00:15:14Hey, welcome.
00:15:14So, did you make any progress today?
00:15:22Yeah, I finally started my second draft last night.
00:15:25Wait, you're just now writing your second draft?
00:15:28No, no, I'm naked.
00:15:30You're crazy.
00:15:33You'd be proud to spend all morning writing.
00:15:35I got it for 10 pages.
00:15:37Out of what, 150?
00:15:40You should be chained to your desk.
00:15:43Yeah, I work better under pressure.
00:15:45Why not set an appointment to write every day?
00:15:48Set an alarm if you have to.
00:15:50What, um, what gave you the inspiration for your topic?
00:15:54My experience is in Cameroon.
00:15:56I would always hear my grandmother talk about the cycle of the human soul.
00:16:00It wasn't until I was an undergrad that I realized that that's how my people preserved their philosophies.
00:16:07A lot of our ideas survived.
00:16:09I mean, even though the country has been Christianized, people still practice some form of ancestor worship.
00:16:15What do they say about the cycle of the soul?
00:16:18Well, my tribe believes that it's synced with the world around us, particularly the ocean,
00:16:23and that the spirit of our ancestors live in the sea.
00:16:28The good ones act as an intermediary between us and God.
00:16:32Is that what you believe?
00:16:34Well, I believe that when you die, your soul enters an in-between stage.
00:16:37The souls of good people are in a state of paradise awaiting the last day.
00:16:43What about the bad people?
00:16:45For them, it's not so nice.
00:16:50Hmm.
00:16:50Are there any other Muslims in Cameroon?
00:16:55Some.
00:16:56I actually grew up Christian.
00:16:59Then my mom got married to my stepdad, who's a Muslim, and then we converted.
00:17:05He was an American visiting Africa.
00:17:08He was a missionary?
00:17:09No, he was a lawyer.
00:17:12He converted you guys, though.
00:17:14Well, he wasn't an official missionary.
00:17:16Did you ever know your biological dad?
00:17:21No, he died when I was a baby.
00:17:25My stepdad died a few years ago.
00:17:28I'm sorry.
00:17:34Time to get back to work.
00:17:36Come on, that was like two minutes.
00:17:37That's how it should be.
00:17:39Go right.
00:17:40I don't want you failing to be on my conscience.
00:17:43Meet me again tomorrow?
00:17:44Um, sure, if I have time.
00:17:49Okay.
00:17:50Bye.
00:17:59Oh, you look tired.
00:18:01Sit down, have some tea.
00:18:04Najib and his father came by today.
00:18:06Mr. Saeed just made partner.
00:18:12And Najib is going to be an associate at the same firm when he's passed the bar.
00:18:17Nice.
00:18:19You know what they came by to talk about, right?
00:18:22I thought if I played dumb, I could avoid the subject.
00:18:28Najib is a hot commodity.
00:18:30And he's not going to be on the market for long.
00:18:32Mom, you don't even act interested in men.
00:18:36That's because it's rare to find one who's interesting.
00:18:39You mean all those years in college, you haven't been interested in anyone?
00:18:43So?
00:18:44You do like men, don't you?
00:18:47Yes.
00:18:48All I'm saying is that you could give him a chance.
00:18:52It's time.
00:18:54When I'm done with my dissertation, I'll deal with it.
00:18:58You know, Ara, maybe that's your problem.
00:19:00You look at love as something to be dealt with.
00:19:02You look at love as something to be dealt with.
00:19:32Tomorrow, I want us to stay at my place.
00:19:53Why?
00:19:54Because it's clean.
00:19:56I mean, your parents, they hooked you up with this place.
00:19:59The least that you could do is actually keep it clean.
00:20:02I'll clean my moorhead with this.
00:20:07Yeah, well, I think that you have done enough work for today.
00:20:16I need to finish this, okay?
00:20:19Seriously?
00:20:20I mean, God forbid that we actually take our clothes off and touch each other.
00:20:27I'm going to Maddie's.
00:20:45French roast with half and half, right?
00:20:47Thanks.
00:20:47Yeah, welcome.
00:20:48Do you have a table inside?
00:20:50You know, actually, I've been sitting all day long.
00:20:52Do you want to maybe take a walk?
00:20:54Sure.
00:20:59So, you never told me about your family.
00:21:02What would you like to know?
00:21:04Where are you from?
00:21:05I was born in Texas, but we moved to Seattle when my mom got out of the Air Force.
00:21:12So, it was just you and your mom?
00:21:15My stepmom, too.
00:21:19Oh.
00:21:20She is a lesbian.
00:21:21Yeah, I got that.
00:21:26So, you never knew your dad?
00:21:29Yeah.
00:21:30He was a bad guy.
00:21:32Ruffed us up a bunch.
00:21:34One night, he beat us up both pretty bad.
00:21:36She grabbed me and left.
00:21:37I'm so sorry.
00:21:39You don't have to be.
00:21:40Shit happens, you know?
00:21:42I don't think stuff like that just happens.
00:21:44I could talk about it now.
00:21:45It seems like a bad dream I used to have when I was a kid.
00:21:48Is that when you lost your faith?
00:21:51In what?
00:21:52God?
00:21:54I don't recall ever having any.
00:21:56Your parents weren't Christians?
00:21:57No.
00:21:58Both atheists.
00:21:59Grandparents, too.
00:22:00I guess you could say like a third generation skeptic.
00:22:03So, you've always doubted?
00:22:05I've always maintained that anything people say that they know about God is uncertain.
00:22:11So, you're first generation agnostic because your parents were atheists?
00:22:15No, they felt the same way.
00:22:15Right, but you just said that they were atheists.
00:22:19I mean, atheists aren't unsure.
00:22:21They're certain that there is no God.
00:22:24There are levels of atheism.
00:22:26Which one are you?
00:22:27Atheist light.
00:22:31Was it weird when your mom came out?
00:22:34It was odd at first, but she was so much more happy I didn't care.
00:22:38And I love my stepmom, too.
00:22:40I wonder if you would have felt the same way in Texas.
00:22:43Why would that have mattered?
00:22:46Places can affect people's attitudes.
00:22:49I think if you're strong enough, you can keep stuff out.
00:22:51Like water-resistant wood.
00:22:55When you go back to Cameroon, does it affect your attitude?
00:22:57Of course.
00:23:00My grandma's crazy.
00:23:01She's not religious, but somehow our converting to Islam traumatized her.
00:23:07You ever feel oppressed by religion?
00:23:09Like having to wear the headscarf?
00:23:11It's called a hijab, and I wear it because I want to.
00:23:17My grandma bugs me about it, too.
00:23:19Does it make you feel angry?
00:23:20No, just alienated.
00:23:26I don't fit in back home, and I don't quite fit in here, either.
00:23:31Makes me wish there was an in-between place.
00:23:34Like somewhere you could just be without offending anyone.
00:23:38Yeah.
00:23:42Well, it's time to get back to work.
00:23:44Arjelali?
00:23:51Yeah.
00:23:54God, she's Sasha's friend.
00:23:56So, um, how did you two meet?
00:24:01I've known her for a while, actually.
00:24:03We're in the same department.
00:24:04Met her in an art gallery, and we started talking.
00:24:07You?
00:24:08Uh, she is Sasha's good friend.
00:24:14So, um, are you guys going to start seeing each other more often?
00:24:23No, no.
00:24:28Well, I'm going to go spend the night at Manny's house tomorrow night.
00:24:37Okay.
00:24:38Have fun.
00:24:39Come on, Arjelali.
00:24:44Yeah.
00:24:47Come on, Arjelali.
00:24:48You should have got that.
00:24:49I'm out of practice.
00:24:51You used to be really good, right?
00:24:53Good enough not to be embarrassing.
00:24:55You ever miss it?
00:24:56I miss all my free time.
00:24:58I, uh, play in the league.
00:25:00Helps me blow off steam.
00:25:02Want to come watch me sometime?
00:25:03Maybe we'll grab some food after?
00:25:20I-
00:25:21Woo!
00:25:25Hi, Manny.
00:25:26Hey, baby.
00:25:28Hmm.
00:25:29So I was up late riding last night, and it all of a sudden came to me.
00:25:54I'm going to throw in a section of Spinoza's theory.
00:25:59So you added a section about rationalistic pantheism?
00:26:04That has nothing to do with your topic.
00:26:07It has everything to do with it.
00:26:08I'm going to show that Calvin paved the way for other thinkers like Spinoza.
00:26:11So in a way, Calvinism helped move along the Renaissance.
00:26:14You have to show evidence.
00:26:16Are you sure you're not just a rationalistic pantheist,
00:26:18and this isn't your way of infusing your personal beliefs into your argument?
00:26:22I'm agnostic. I don't think it's possible to know if any deity exists.
00:26:25Not even Spinoza's.
00:26:26Maybe some people can.
00:26:28There's no certainty of that. Certainty is gravity, cell division, death.
00:26:32Okay, but wouldn't you say that some people innately have a better understanding of physics than others?
00:26:36I mean, maybe the same is true for supernatural things.
00:26:39Maybe there are physical ways to study metaphysics that we just don't know about.
00:26:43Based on what people know right here and now, there's no certainty.
00:26:46Well, Spinoza would argue that the universe is deterministic.
00:26:50Everything that has happened, or will happen, could not have unfolded in any other way.
00:26:56And you're welcome.
00:26:58Why?
00:26:59Well, Spinoza's deterministic theory is a tie-in to Calvin's predestination.
00:27:04Would you mind coming and taking a look at some of my writing?
00:27:10Sure, I'm curious at this point.
00:27:12Not bad. Your pros and ideas are great.
00:27:27Thanks.
00:27:28Ever heard of spellcheck?
00:27:30I hate spellcheck.
00:27:31That being the hardest part about writing a paper.
00:27:38I got a call from my friend Sasha the other day.
00:27:41She said you were seeing one of her friends. Gabrielle?
00:27:44Yeah. Gab mentioned meeting you once or twice.
00:27:47Is it weird for her that we're hanging out?
00:27:49No. Why would that be weird?
00:27:53Seems like she'd be jealous.
00:27:55Nah, we have an open relationship.
00:27:57What?
00:27:59We both see other people.
00:28:02She has another guy named Manny. I'm cool with it.
00:28:05And how many women are you seeing?
00:28:07So far, just her.
00:28:09I'm pickier than she is.
00:28:11You're all crazy.
00:28:13Why?
00:28:15Don't you find that the least bit abnormal?
00:28:18No, we don't.
00:28:20You don't want to get married?
00:28:21No, not right now. No.
00:28:23She feels the same way.
00:28:25I mean, if it changes, it changes.
00:28:26Only in grad school.
00:28:28You're telling me that you've never had a boyfriend
00:28:31who you didn't want to spend the rest of your life with?
00:28:34I haven't really dated any.
00:28:37That's a little abnormal.
00:28:39Jerk.
00:28:43When everyone started dating in high school,
00:28:45none of the boys seemed interested in me, so...
00:28:47By the time we got into college, I was too busy.
00:28:52Did you make yourself too busy?
00:28:54Well, my parents wouldn't allow it,
00:28:56and I wasn't ready for marriage yet,
00:28:59so I put all that on the shelf.
00:29:01You couldn't date until you were ready to get married?
00:29:03No.
00:29:05Plus, I was coughing out.
00:29:08How so?
00:29:10Well, I guess I used my beliefs as a way of avoiding all the awkwardness.
00:29:17It was easier to hide behind them.
00:29:20Well, I've been hiding a bit myself lately.
00:29:22You?
00:29:24From what?
00:29:25I don't know.
00:29:26Life?
00:29:27It's my seventh year in.
00:29:28I could have defended my fifth year if I'd won.
00:29:30Why didn't you?
00:29:33I've been a student all my life.
00:29:39I don't know what I'd do with myself.
00:29:44Are you nosing through my mp3 list?
00:29:48Maybe.
00:29:49I don't think we're in a music sharing stage in our relationship yet.
00:29:54You see anything you like?
00:29:59Um...
00:30:00Yeah.
00:30:01I used to catch my mom listening to music like this when she thought no one was watching.
00:30:18Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:30:22Yeah.
00:30:23Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah.
00:30:29Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:30:32I'm not gonna run.
00:30:34I'm gonna do what I need to do.
00:30:39Show you affection.
00:30:41Treat every moment like it works.
00:30:45You don't have to hide
00:30:49No need to protect your heart from me
00:30:53Girl, I'll be mine
00:30:55So call me if you're with this
00:30:58Your voice is all
00:30:59I'm sorry
00:31:02It goes off on each day to remind me to write
00:31:15You listen
00:31:20Has it helped?
00:31:21Yeah, yeah, I feel like I'm caught up
00:31:26Maybe I can use my superpowers to help you with other problems in your life
00:31:31Oh, you have superpowers, huh?
00:31:33Yes
00:31:37What were you gonna write about?
00:31:41Spinoza and the ripples in the universe
00:31:44About how everything that is or will be are all like ripples in a pond
00:31:48All outside our control and nothing can change them
00:31:52What about Calvin?
00:31:55I was gonna use the time that you gave me
00:31:57About how Calvin's predestination is a version of
00:32:01It's a Christian version of Spinoza's theory
00:32:06Do you believe that?
00:32:08Spinoza copied Calvin
00:32:10No
00:32:11And they're theories
00:32:14I believe that what we do causes things to happen
00:32:19And the consequences
00:32:21The unavoidable sometimes
00:32:23But it's only because of the choices
00:32:27So cause and consequence
00:32:32Yeah
00:32:33You don't believe in destiny then?
00:32:36No
00:32:37If we can trust again
00:32:39Okay, well
00:32:40If reality is all action and reaction then could the thing that started it all be destiny?
00:32:47So you're saying that whatever caused the ripples in the universe, that's destiny?
00:32:52Maybe
00:32:53In Islam we call it Qadar
00:32:56Qadar
00:32:57Yeah
00:32:58It's um
00:32:59It's the Arabic word for destiny
00:33:02Hmm
00:33:03We believe that
00:33:05Everything that has happened or will happen is known by Allah
00:33:09So everything is determined by God then?
00:33:12No, it's still cause and consequence
00:33:14It's just that
00:33:15Allah sees everything
00:33:17You know
00:33:20What?
00:33:21No
00:33:22It's just you
00:33:24Just you
00:33:26Just you
00:33:47Where's your silverware?
00:34:10Sure
00:34:11To the left
00:34:14Mind if we eat standing up?
00:34:16Okay
00:34:19At home we have to sit until everyone's done
00:34:21You ever get tired of the lifestyle?
00:34:23Yes and no
00:34:24Which parts?
00:34:25Like having to save yourself for marriage?
00:34:27No, but
00:34:29When everyone else is doing it it's like you're missing out on something
00:34:34You think what we did the other day is a sin?
00:34:38Yeah
00:34:40Can you let it be on me?
00:34:42It doesn't work that way
00:34:44I have to take care of it
00:34:46I have to take care of it
00:34:49You want a confession?
00:34:51You've got your religions mixed up
00:34:54Sorry
00:34:55Our repentance is called Taba and you do it only to Allah
00:34:59All that because we made out?
00:35:01Is that so hard to believe?
00:35:02Yeah
00:35:03A little bit, yeah
00:35:04You've never repented over anything you did?
00:35:07Not anything like that, no
00:35:08It sounds horrible to me
00:35:09Having to tell someone you're sorry all the time
00:35:11Like you're constantly going to the spiritual principal's office or something
00:35:15You're thinking about it the wrong way
00:35:17It's reconciliation to God
00:35:21You repent to get closer to God
00:35:24What else do you ask God for?
00:35:25What do you ask God for?
00:35:26All kinds of things
00:35:28Yeah, like what?
00:35:30I ask him to help people
00:35:34I also pray for my stepdad
00:35:36You said he passed away, right?
00:35:38Yeah, it's a do a prayer, you say it for the dead
00:35:41What do you ask God to do for the dead?
00:35:42I ask him to make them among the guided ones
00:35:47And fill their graves with light
00:35:51You ever pray before?
00:35:54Yeah
00:35:56Once when I was a little boy
00:35:57I saw a bunch of Mormons praying in a restaurant
00:36:00And I prayed and asked God for a million bucks
00:36:03He didn't give it to me
00:36:04It didn't work
00:36:08I'm going to say a prayer for you
00:36:10Come on, get out
00:36:11I'm going to
00:36:12No, we don't have to
00:36:13What would you pray for?
00:36:15My mom's sick
00:36:18What's her name?
00:36:19Andrea
00:36:21Andrea
00:36:25Allah
00:36:27You are ever merciful and kind
00:36:29Great healer
00:36:31Please have mercy on Andrea
00:36:33And cure her from her illness
00:36:36Hey Ben
00:36:38What are you making?
00:36:44Oh
00:36:46Hi Ara
00:36:48How are you?
00:36:50I'm good
00:36:52So...
00:36:54Making pasta
00:36:56Good thinking Ben
00:37:01Hmm
00:37:03No wine?
00:37:04Come on
00:37:05You're being a bad host Ben
00:37:06Yeah, she doesn't drink
00:37:08Yeah
00:37:09Really?
00:37:11You're missing out
00:37:13I'm gonna have some though
00:37:19So, um, tell me
00:37:21What else can't you all have?
00:37:23A few things
00:37:26Actually, I have to go
00:37:29Lots of meetings tomorrow
00:37:30Hey, hey, hey, I'll walk you out
00:37:31No, it's fine
00:37:41Well, that was weird
00:37:55Be careful with her
00:37:56Oh, my God, you're kidding
00:37:57I swear I'm not
00:37:58My little girl's so grown up
00:38:00Hardly
00:38:02You kept everything intact, right?
00:38:04Wow
00:38:05I just wanna make sure you're all looked up down there
00:38:07Seriously though, how do you feel?
00:38:09I can't shake the feeling that I'm screwing everything up
00:38:11Screwing what up?
00:38:12Screwing what up?
00:38:13My life? Family? God?
00:38:15Sometimes you have to do what's right for you
00:38:17Come in
00:38:19Oh, hi guys
00:38:21Hi guys
00:38:23Hi guys
00:38:25Hi guys
00:38:27Hi guys
00:38:29Hi guys
00:38:31Hi guys
00:38:33Hi guys
00:38:35Hi guys
00:38:36Hi guys
00:38:37Hi guys
00:38:39Hi guys
00:38:40Hi guys
00:38:42It's been a while
00:38:47Hi Aura
00:38:48Hi
00:38:49I actually wanted to talk with you a moment
00:38:53Okay
00:38:56Well, unless you guys are in the middle of something
00:38:59No, it's fine
00:39:01I'll leave you girls to talk
00:39:11Look
00:39:13Look
00:39:15I know the whole thing with you and Ben
00:39:18And well, I just wanted to let you know that I'm cool with it
00:39:22So you both have other people?
00:39:25Well, I don't believe that you ever truly have somebody
00:39:30I think we're more like jellyfish
00:39:33They don't really ever hold on to their mates
00:39:36They just kind of float around touching each other
00:39:41Is that what you believe?
00:39:42It's what I think is true
00:39:44And I like you
00:39:45And I like you
00:39:47And just because you're connecting with Ben
00:39:51Doesn't mean that there shouldn't be any awkwardness between us
00:39:54And a half
00:39:57intensified
00:39:59When we're at Fort Lauderdale
00:40:00Why don't I have a beer?
00:40:23Sure, go ahead.
00:40:30What does it taste like?
00:40:54It has a bite like a soda, but no sweetness to it.
00:40:58It's bitter and sharp.
00:40:59That doesn't sound very good.
00:41:05Want a sip?
00:41:08Okay.
00:41:17That's close.
00:41:19Thank you for watching the kids.
00:41:20Oh, she was glad to do it.
00:41:22Oh, she was glad to do it.
00:41:24How long before Aura finishes her degree?
00:41:30This semester, thank Allah.
00:41:36Is that Aura?
00:41:37You need your eyes checked.
00:41:38Aura's a good two inches shorter than her.
00:41:42Aura's a good two inches shorter than her.
00:41:43Thank you for watching the kids.
00:41:45Oh, she was glad to do it.
00:41:48Aura's a good two inches shorter than her.
00:41:50Aura's a good two inches shorter than her.
00:41:55Aura's a good two inches shorter than her.
00:42:01Aura's a good two inches shorter than her.
00:42:02Aura's a good two inches shorter than her.
00:42:03Aura's a good two inches shorter than her.
00:42:08Aura's a good two inches shorter than her.
00:42:28Aura's a good two inches shorter than her.
00:42:31I can't stay here.
00:42:58I just need my things.
00:43:01So what, you're not even going to give us a chance?
00:43:03There is no us.
00:43:16Hi, Mom.
00:43:18Hi.
00:43:20Are you okay?
00:43:22I'm just a little tired.
00:43:26Did you have a good time last night?
00:43:27It was all right.
00:43:38Allah, forgive me.
00:43:42Allah, forgive me.
00:43:46Allah, forgive me.
00:43:47Allah, forgive me.
00:43:53Hey.
00:43:56Can we talk for a minute?
00:43:58Yeah, come.
00:43:59I owe you an apology for the other night.
00:44:07I just want to know what I did to make you run out of there like that.
00:44:10No, it has nothing to do with you, I swear.
00:44:12I know you don't get it, but I can't live like this.
00:44:20You're a great guy, and it wasn't fair for me to make you think that I could.
00:44:28I'm sorry.
00:44:28Well, apology accepted, I guess.
00:44:36You sure?
00:44:38Yeah, I'm fine.
00:44:40I was worried about you.
00:44:43I'll be okay.
00:44:45Tava.
00:44:47Tava.
00:44:49Okay.
00:44:49Well, I have to go.
00:44:54Okay.
00:44:55Okay.
00:44:56Bye.
00:44:57Bye.
00:44:57Bye.
00:45:19Did you have a bad weekend or something?
00:45:28No, I, um, I was just thinking about us, and I reconsidered.
00:45:35Okay.
00:45:37I was torn between what I wanted and God.
00:45:40I didn't think I could have both.
00:45:43But you're not torn anymore.
00:45:45I think...
00:45:47I have hope that God won't cast me out for being with someone.
00:45:56What if there wasn't a God,
00:45:58and you spent your entire life doing things that you didn't have to do to impress an imaginary friend?
00:46:02You really believe God is imaginary?
00:46:04Most intellectuals in society think so.
00:46:06There are other intellectuals in the world besides the ones in the U.S. and the U.K.
00:46:12I mean, if you interviewed professors in India, they'd give you very different answers.
00:46:15That doesn't mean they're right.
00:46:16Look at the cognitive difference between us and insects.
00:46:19You have creatures whose memory lasts a few seconds,
00:46:22and then there's humanity that can decipher how stars function.
00:46:25So?
00:46:25So, if we're that much greater than creatures we can observe, doesn't it stand to reason that they're creatures higher than us?
00:46:33Sure.
00:46:33Worthy of our worship, not so much.
00:46:34So arrogant.
00:46:35Why?
00:46:35Because I don't want to pay senseless homage to something that could be as made up as Santa Claus?
00:46:39No, because you think there's a possibility that a God exists, but you don't think it's worth our time.
00:46:44I was reading the other day how a group of scientists figured out how to create matter out of light.
00:46:49Why isn't that praiseworthy?
00:46:51Why can't humanity focus on our own accomplishments?
00:46:53The atheist is most happy when he gets to play God.
00:46:56All cultures invent these tall tales or exaggerate things to give themselves significance.
00:47:04Like what you were telling me about your tribe submersing themselves in the ocean so they could talk to ghosts.
00:47:08You actually believe that?
00:47:10What if I did?
00:47:13The West declared a city of Troy was a myth until someone found it and then they had to eat their words.
00:47:19The earth was flat until the West decided it was round.
00:47:22Before they were forcing us to be Christians, now they want us to be agnostic.
00:47:27God only exists when you say he does, right?
00:47:32Those ideas and stories you're mocking are the dignity of a lot of people.
00:47:37I think it's the kind of thing you make up when you have none.
00:47:42This was a mistake.
00:47:45Thanks for clearing it up for me.
00:48:07So are you going to tell me what's wrong?
00:48:28I know.
00:48:31Ara.
00:48:33Please.
00:48:36Sweetheart, tell me.
00:48:40I'm here for you.
00:48:52I know what you're going through.
00:48:53I thought I was in love with a man I met at university, too.
00:49:01Before you met my father?
00:49:02Yes.
00:49:05It's hard when you meet folks in a certain way at a certain time.
00:49:12It's like they were tailored just for you.
00:49:17What was he like?
00:49:18You know, nice and fun.
00:49:25For the first time, I felt free, like I had my own life and I could do whatever I wanted.
00:49:34Why didn't it last?
00:49:37I realized he wasn't really serious about life.
00:49:40He was more interested in going to one party after another than settling down and having a family.
00:49:49His lifestyle was unstable, just too crazy for me.
00:49:54When I came to my senses, I broke off with him.
00:49:58And soon after that, I met your father.
00:50:01And he was the right man for me.
00:50:08Did you ever hear about these couples and open relationships?
00:50:12Of course.
00:50:13It happens back home all the time.
00:50:15Some of the women, they just put up with it.
00:50:18Ara.
00:50:20Are you?
00:50:22Oh.
00:50:23Why would you be in that kind of relationship, eh?
00:50:26He has this woman he's been seeing since before we met.
00:50:33Ara, you know that isn't right.
00:50:35I can see how unhappy you are about it.
00:50:38Ara, this is going to make you an outcast in our community.
00:50:41You know that, right?
00:50:43The men in this country, they will not understand something like that.
00:50:47They'll judge you.
00:50:50I just don't know how I got wrapped up in it.
00:50:52You can unwrap yourself.
00:50:53Oh, sweetheart, you deserve better.
00:51:00When all this fire and passion dies away, and it will,
00:51:06you only find true freedom and peace in Allah.
00:51:19Come in.
00:51:23You're Ben Johnson?
00:51:30Yeah.
00:51:31You must be Ara's mom.
00:51:34No, sir.
00:51:35I do not wish to shake your hand.
00:51:37Beg your pardon?
00:51:38You have been defiling my daughter,
00:51:40and you should make this right.
00:51:42I don't know what you're talking about.
00:51:43You have been with her.
00:51:45She's never been with a man before.
00:51:48You understand?
00:51:49You're ruining her for her husband.
00:51:54My daughter is a good woman,
00:51:56and she deserves to be with someone who's going to treat her with respect.
00:51:59I don't think there's anything wrong with what we did.
00:52:01If you want what's best for her, leave her alone, or you'll have to marry her.
00:52:07And women in Islam cannot marry outside it.
00:52:11So are you going to convert and then break up with that other friend of yours?
00:52:14Do you see yourself married to Ara?
00:52:19You heard what I asked you.
00:52:22You understand?
00:52:23You're making her an outcast in the community if this continues.
00:52:29She'll have trouble finding a good husband, and for what?
00:52:32So you can feel like a big man?
00:52:34If you don't have honorable intentions for her,
00:52:38then leave her alone, and let someone who deserves her step up.
00:52:42Hey.
00:53:08Hey.
00:53:09I hate to just drop down here like this.
00:53:11It's okay.
00:53:14Look, I know you're busy, but have you seen Gabrielle today?
00:53:18No, it's been a couple of days.
00:53:20You're not worried?
00:53:22No, she does this all the time.
00:53:23She's probably with her folks.
00:53:25She had me to return my calls.
00:53:26I just got worried.
00:53:28Anyways, I just want to make sure she's all right.
00:53:31I'm sure she's okay.
00:53:37Is there something else on your mind, man?
00:53:41Do you love her?
00:53:50I don't know.
00:53:51Right.
00:53:52That's a no.
00:53:53What is love?
00:53:54Jesus.
00:53:55Look, I'm talking to a damn philosopher.
00:53:56No, I'm not being facetious.
00:53:57How do you know you're in love with someone?
00:53:59I can't stop thinking about her.
00:54:02I go crazy when she's gone.
00:54:04I go crazy when she's over here.
00:54:06I have never felt like this with another woman.
00:54:09Yeah?
00:54:11We're together.
00:54:12It just feels...
00:54:14It feels dangerous.
00:54:17Right.
00:54:19You feel the same way?
00:54:20No.
00:54:25With Gabrielle, it's comfortable and easy, but no.
00:54:30The plans don't align.
00:54:32What about the other woman you're seeing?
00:54:37In a weird way, yeah.
00:54:39There's your answer, man.
00:54:41Do the right thing.
00:54:43Make us all happy.
00:54:44I think she should move in with me.
00:54:48I don't know.
00:55:13I don't know.
00:55:16Transcription by CastingWords
00:55:46CastingWords
00:56:16CastingWords
00:56:24Hey, I am so sorry I was such an ass.
00:56:28Can you forgive me, please?
00:56:30I'm sorry.
00:56:33Sorry.
00:56:33You're better than this.
00:56:46You know that.
00:56:49Mom, I just need some time alone with him to figure some things out.
00:56:52Have you thought about the example you're setting for Mohammed and Miriam?
00:56:55Did you tell them?
00:56:58No.
00:57:01Are you going to marry this man?
00:57:03Have children with him?
00:57:09Mom, I love you, but I have to go.
00:57:11How are you feeling after your day?
00:57:31Good.
00:57:34It's good.
00:57:34Are you still talking to Gabrielle?
00:57:41No.
00:57:44Did you love her?
00:57:47There were times when I thought I did.
00:57:51Being with her was comforting, easy.
00:57:53But we, uh, we didn't fit in a lot of ways, and I felt guilty for not making it fit.
00:58:03I was afraid of being alone, I guess.
00:58:05Why?
00:58:09Ever since I moved out of my mom's house, I always had to have a woman around me.
00:58:12I was afraid of committing myself, it felt like the beginning of death.
00:58:23I thought love would step in and solve everything, but, you know, what is love?
00:58:28Do you believe God hears all your prayers?
00:58:46Of course.
00:58:48You think it's crazy, right now.
00:58:50No, actually, I'm a little jealous.
00:58:53Why would that make you jealous?
00:58:55Because it's something I can't experience.
00:58:57I need evidence for everything.
00:59:01The fact that you're so sure without it, I don't know, makes me a little jealous.
00:59:06You've never thought there was a God?
00:59:08I thought there could be one once.
00:59:11When?
00:59:13There's one time when I was thinking about the origins of everything.
00:59:16Like the universe.
00:59:19What do you think about the soul?
00:59:21I don't know.
00:59:23Define it, and I will tell you what I think about it.
00:59:27It's your immaterial essence.
00:59:30The you-ness of you.
00:59:31Like a part of you that's separate from your body?
00:59:34Yeah.
00:59:37Sounds like a nice idea.
00:59:40Makes me wish I had one.
00:59:40You have a soul, silly.
00:59:42I'm not for after.
00:59:43Stop it.
00:59:44I'm not for after.
00:59:44I'm going to have some friends over tomorrow.
00:59:56Is that okay?
00:59:57Okay.
00:59:59You sure?
01:00:01Yeah, I'm fine.
01:00:03They want to meet you.
01:00:05Go, shot.
01:00:05All right, all right, all right.
01:00:14Okay, um, black horsey.
01:00:16Five.
01:00:17Twelve.
01:00:19Checkmate.
01:00:21It's on you.
01:00:23Oh, man.
01:00:25Oh, man.
01:00:25Oh, man.
01:00:26Hey!
01:00:27How are you?
01:00:32No, that's bullshit.
01:00:33No, it's not.
01:00:34Are you even listening?
01:00:36No, listen to me.
01:00:37I'm telling you, it's complete and utter.
01:00:39No, it's not.
01:00:40You're telling me with a straight face that this revolution didn't liberate women.
01:00:46What I'm saying is that women as a group stopped paying attention to who they gave it up to.
01:00:53That's causes to be objectified more, that's all.
01:00:55It's true.
01:00:56We don't usually say no if it's awkward.
01:00:58But why shouldn't a woman whoever she wants?
01:01:03Because we're the ones who get stuck with the kids when the runs.
01:01:06Like you.
01:01:07You wouldn't want to have a baby before.
01:01:08No, it's not.
01:01:09You're telling me with a straight face that this revolution didn't liberate women.
01:01:12What I'm saying is that women as a group stopped paying attention to who they gave it up to.
01:01:14Like you, you wouldn't want to have a baby with some random dude, would you?
01:01:44No.
01:01:59Morning.
01:02:00Sorry to interrupt.
01:02:01That's okay.
01:02:03You all done?
01:02:05Yeah.
01:02:06Good.
01:02:07Every morning, right?
01:02:08Yeah.
01:02:09Yeah.
01:02:14Did you have fun last night?
01:02:16Yeah, one bit.
01:02:20It's kind of awkward for you.
01:02:21Sorry.
01:02:23A little bit.
01:02:24Yeah.
01:02:25My friends drink a lot.
01:02:26Sorry.
01:02:27Yeah.
01:02:28Yeah.
01:02:29The girls were pretty funny.
01:02:33They were talking about what kind of man they'd want to have kids with.
01:02:36Oh my God.
01:02:39You ever want kids?
01:02:41Uh, one day, yeah.
01:02:43I think it'd be a nightmare now though.
01:02:45Geez.
01:02:46Why would it be a nightmare?
01:02:49Take over your life.
01:02:51Tie you down to some screaming spawn.
01:02:53Well, you were a screaming spawn once too, you know.
01:02:56Yeah.
01:02:57It drove my dad nuts.
01:02:59I think it's partly why he was such a psycho.
01:03:04One half PTSD, the other half unwanted children.
01:03:10He won all these medals in the Air Force for leadership, so it couldn't have been the stress.
01:03:19He used to throw glasses at my head.
01:03:22Crazy shit.
01:03:23I honestly think that if he would have had just the room to be himself, he could have been a better man.
01:03:32You busy today?
01:03:33Never been meeting with my advisor.
01:03:34You?
01:03:35I was going to work on my dissertation.
01:03:38Okay.
01:03:39I'm going to be late.
01:03:40Okay.
01:03:41I'm going to clean, okay?
01:03:42Okay.
01:03:43Okay.
01:03:44I'm going to clean, okay?
01:03:45Okay.
01:03:46Okay.
01:03:47Okay.
01:03:48I'm going to clean, okay?
01:03:49Okay.
01:03:50I'm going to clean.
01:03:51Okay?
01:03:52Okay.
01:03:53I'm going to clean, okay?
01:03:56Okay.
01:04:16Ara, can we talk to you?
01:04:43This isn't the answer.
01:04:46I love you. Allah loves you.
01:04:48Mom.
01:04:50Is this what you want?
01:04:52Are you really happy like this?
01:04:54Mom, you know I love you.
01:04:58This is just something I need to figure out on my own.
01:05:04I will wait on you forever.
01:05:12Do the right thing, Ara.
01:05:16Well, I don't know how you did it, but this looks ready to defend.
01:05:23Not bad, huh?
01:05:24It's good.
01:05:25Thoughtful, well written.
01:05:28What happened?
01:05:30I'm serious.
01:05:31This is a world away from your last draft.
01:05:35Yeah, I guess it is.
01:05:36Ergo my question.
01:05:37What happened?
01:05:41What happened?
01:05:42What happened?
01:05:43What happened?
01:05:57I hope I missed you.
01:05:58Do the right thing, Ara.
01:06:28Do the right thing, Ara.
01:06:58Do the right thing, Ara.
01:07:26Hey.
01:07:28So how did your meeting go?
01:07:31Great.
01:07:32All I have to do is defend now.
01:07:35Well, I have some good news.
01:07:38I was accepted into Georgetown Law.
01:07:41Congrats.
01:07:44It was the first school that I applied to.
01:07:47So you're moving there after the summer?
01:07:50Right after graduation, actually.
01:07:52You're going to tell me you're applying.
01:07:54Yeah, well, I'm probably going to be heading there in May because I want to get a lay of the land before the fall semester starts.
01:08:01And, well, I wanted to see if you would come with me.
01:08:07I, uh, I'm pregnant.
01:08:12Are you sure?
01:08:17Yep.
01:08:18I missed my period and I went to the doctor and I got the call today.
01:08:25I'm keeping the baby.
01:08:29I'm not saying this to be an ass, but are you sure it's mine?
01:08:36Yes, I am sure it's yours.
01:08:39You are the only one that I have had unprotected sex with.
01:08:43You know, I just assumed that you would want to be involved in the life of your child.
01:08:51No.
01:08:52I mean, you're right.
01:08:53I'm just processing this.
01:09:13Oh, it's Ben.
01:09:16Oh, God.
01:09:17Hi, Ben.
01:09:21What's going on, stranger?
01:09:22I miss talking to you.
01:09:23Tell Ben I love him.
01:09:24Lana says hi and that she loves you.
01:09:27Nah, I missed you all.
01:09:30Sorry, I've been busy getting my dissertation together, but...
01:09:34How's it coming?
01:09:36It's ready to go.
01:09:38Are you all right, Benny?
01:09:39Your voice sounds strange.
01:09:40Yeah, I haven't been...
01:09:42too careful here lately.
01:09:46You know, Gabrielle's pregnant.
01:09:48Uh...
01:09:49Wow.
01:09:51Crazy, huh?
01:09:52How do you feel about this?
01:09:55I am...
01:09:57shaken up.
01:10:00She's going to Georgetown in the fall and she wants me to come with her.
01:10:05And you don't want to?
01:10:07No.
01:10:09There's someone else.
01:10:10Someone else?
01:10:11Benny, this is soap opera stuff.
01:10:14We have an open relationship.
01:10:16I'm an idiot.
01:10:18Bringing myself into this.
01:10:20Gabrielle, she and I, we were just good for the time being, you know?
01:10:24I have finally met this other girl who I have a real connection with and I...
01:10:29I just think I ruined it.
01:10:32Just like Dad.
01:10:33Ben.
01:10:34Ben.
01:10:35Ben.
01:10:36Benjamin.
01:10:37You couldn't be like that man if you tried.
01:10:41Do you want to live the rest of your life with Gabrielle?
01:10:46No.
01:10:47No.
01:10:49Well?
01:10:50Could you be a good father if you weren't living with her?
01:10:56Yeah.
01:10:57Well, it sounds to me like you've answered your own question.
01:11:06Hey.
01:11:07Hey.
01:11:08How'd your day go?
01:11:10Not bad.
01:11:11I didn't mean for you to clean all of this.
01:11:13It's okay.
01:11:15I said I'd clean.
01:11:16It's fine.
01:11:21You're too good to me.
01:11:22You shouldn't have to take care of my mess.
01:11:24I work better when things are clean.
01:11:26You hungry?
01:11:27Yeah.
01:11:28Food sounds good.
01:11:29Oh.
01:11:36There's something I've got to tell you.
01:11:38Something wrong?
01:11:40Yeah.
01:11:43I had a weird day today.
01:11:44I got some news.
01:11:47What is it?
01:11:50I don't know how to tell you this.
01:11:54What?
01:11:56Gabrielle's pregnant.
01:11:58I just found out today.
01:12:04Listen, I'm going to tell her that even with the baby,
01:12:08I'm still going to be with you.
01:12:16R.
01:12:18Can you listen?
01:12:20I didn't do this on purpose.
01:12:22Can you give me the dignity of listening to me for a while?
01:12:26I'm listening to me for a second.
01:12:34I need you to listen to me.
01:12:36I...
01:12:38I...
01:12:39don't let you do this on purpose.
01:12:40This is my only friend does this for a male life.
01:12:41This is a
01:13:05it's very early in your first trimester so you have lots of options I have an opening as early
01:13:25as next Wednesday will it hurt women have pain like cramps during the procedure but it's very
01:13:33safe but you don't have to make a decision today
01:13:39hi I talked to your mom she's worried about you I figured as much I've been
01:14:09worried about you too there anything I can do I don't think anyone can help me know
01:14:18our father not been pushy I'm sorry for that I don't care what's happened I want to help you
01:14:29feel that professors thank you for your time here today my dissertation focuses on the tenets of
01:14:40Calvinism and how that philosophy spread across Western Europe and affected the politics and
01:14:45culture contrary to statistics Cameron philosophies still thrive within Christianity much like the
01:14:52cult of Isis survives within Roman Catholicism as the veneration of Mary that was brilliant
01:14:59Ara thank you congratulations on a remarkable defense and on your engagement thank you so
01:15:06will you be dr. Jalali no I'm choosing to take my husband's name you just have a seat over there
01:15:16how'd it go in there it did okay you appreciate I passed you think so
01:15:43if I would have done this a month ago I would have said no yeah I passed I think
01:15:54here's you got engaged yeah
01:16:03congrats thanks
01:16:10are you gonna do after this moving to DC to be near Gabrielle I got a teaching fellowship there
01:16:22well I hope you two are happy
01:16:29Ben? Ara. Hey listen I just want to say it. No Ben. Not here. They're ready for you Ben.
01:16:52what were you gonna write about? Spinoza and the ripples in the universe
01:17:14about how everything that is or will be are all like ripples in a pond all outside our control and
01:17:24nothing can change them do you believe that
01:17:44I see wind in the trees I see the leaves shiver in the breeze and the stone so carelessly thrown
01:18:03I see stars standing my ground they've shifted light they've moved around my dimming side oh sweet time
01:18:33when I was yours and you were mine
01:18:40fate's a cold face she stares unmoved as we make our plans and do the things we do but how we tempted her until the end
01:19:01and though we loved and lost I'd do it all again since the start since the fall there's someone trying to make sense out of it all it seems a waste to give the tools to till the land
01:19:30then turn around then turn around and take the harvest from our hands
01:19:37fate's a cold face she stares unmoved as we make our plans and do the things we do and how we tempted her until the end
01:20:07away the end
01:20:15By the end the 407 year we have kept the harvest headedNewSea stares unmoved as we should be able tože the peoples'
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