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Transcript
00:00Us, Hillary.
00:02I don't think we're gonna work.
00:04What?
00:06Look, I need a partner in life.
00:09A wife who's going to go where I need to go and do what I need to do and be excited about my accomplishments.
00:14I can't get dragged down by somebody who's out saving dogs and cats and God knows what else.
00:20Jason, is this about moving to Pittsburgh? I'll move to Pittsburgh.
00:26A new VP position opened up in our Pittsburgh office and I guarantee I am the top pick for this position.
00:32We have a life here.
00:34What am I gonna do in Pittsburgh?
00:38Look, I just, I have to stay focused and mobile to advance in my career.
00:42I gotta keep my priorities straight.
00:44Believe me, this is one of those tough decisions, but it's for the best.
00:48For both of us. I just, I can't make a mistake.
00:51Not now.
00:56What did I become? A mistake.
01:03Just...
01:05I have to get this. Just, just, just...
01:07Go for change.
01:10No, no, no. That is exactly how you...
01:12He's a jerk. I knew he was too good to be true.
01:17Maybe my mom was right. Maybe I let him keep one foot out the door.
01:20Alright, it's time to pick the winner for this week's KJWM Weekly Holiday Vacation Giveaway.
01:25And the lucky winner is... Hillary Burns.
01:28Oh my God, you won!
01:31We are finally in the running for our trip to Mexico. It could be our honeymoon!
01:34What?
01:35All of my sisters found perfect men, and I can't even get one in the door.
01:40Is that it?
01:42Is that what would make you happy right now, to bring home a man for Thanksgiving?
01:46I just can't go home all alone. I just can't face it. I can't do it. Not now.
01:49Okay. Look. All you have to do, just post this with a flirty little intro video of your pretty face, and voila.
01:59All you have to do is click. I'll help you do the video.
02:03You really think it's a good idea to bring a stranger home, or possibly a psycho, to my parents' house for Thanksgiving?
02:10Hillary, I just wanted you to know I planned a small family gathering at the house for when you and Jason arrive.
02:17Do it.
02:18What?
02:19Of course, if he preferred white.
02:22Hi.
02:23Hi.
02:24Hi.
02:25Hi. My name is Hillary.
02:27I need to hire a fake fiancé to bring home to my family for Thanksgiving.
02:32In return, you will receive two free first class tickets to Playa del Carmen, Mexico.
02:37So just record a quick video intro, post it to this page, and we'll get back to you.
02:41Whoa!
02:42What? Who is it? Come in.
02:43I can't believe it. Look at all of these.
02:44All right. Mexico's got some sweetest waves, man. I mean, after the weekend's over here, we can just serve, sun, serve, eat, serve, and then serve some more.
03:06I do have irritable bowel syndrome, but I really need to get to Mexico.
03:12Let's get to Mexico.
03:21Ooh.
03:24Huh.
03:27No.
03:31Ugh. I knew this was a bad idea.
03:33Come over here.
03:34No!
03:35No.
03:36No.
03:37I don't want to.
03:38Just talk to him. He's cute. He kind of looks like Jason.
03:41Hello.
03:42Hi. Is everything okay over there?
03:44Depending on what you mean by okay. Everything's great.
03:47Why don't you tell us a bit about yourself?
03:49Oh. Okay. My name is David. I'm an actor.
03:52Hey, wait. I know you.
03:54Hey, wait. I know you. You're the cell phone guy in the costume.
04:00That's just sad.
04:01He's our first interview. Come on. Let's go.
04:04Ugh.
04:05Hi. Excuse me.
04:06Oh. Oh. Oh.
04:07I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
04:09Hi. I said acting is my full-time job, and today I'm playing a large cell phone.
04:14Oh, crap. I knew it. Come on. We gotta go back to Seattle.
04:17That's right. And you're the reporter?
04:20Yeah.
04:21I was sorry to hear about the newspaper shutting down. Did you lose your job, or?
04:25What do you think?
04:26Right. Sorry. Obvious.
04:29Uh, for what it's worth, I got fired playing a big red cell phone, so.
04:34Oh, I'm sorry.
04:35Don't be. You could help me save my very last red dignity.
04:39I mean, if I can't book a job playing a fake fiancé for a weekend, I should probably call it quits.
04:45Are you free to meet Hillary tomorrow, face to face?
04:48Sure thing.
04:49Hey. Okay. So, I Facebooked him. He hasn't responded. And when you Google him, the only thing that comes up are a few photos of him on Flickr with some chick named Lindsay on a beach.
05:01So, looks like he's not a psycho. He's just another out-of-work loser actor.
05:06You sound like my agent.
05:07Oh. Hi.
05:09Hi.
05:10Um, you two have fun.
05:12Great.
05:15Hi.
05:16So, I checked out?
05:20Yeah, seems like it.
05:22Do you think that Jason is more of a corporate lawyer type or-
05:26Corporate. What kind of car do you drive?
05:27Uh, 98, Jeep Grand Cherokee, fully loaded.
05:30We'll take my car.
05:31Okay.
05:32Okay, I'm gonna friend you on Facebook, accept my request, click on all my family photo albums, memorize all the names, everybody's clearly marked.
05:38Okay, will do.
05:39Okay.
05:41Well, I guess I'll pick you up here, tomorrow, 8am sharp.
05:45Sounds good.
05:48Okay.
05:52Um.
05:56Sorry, I don't know what's going on here with the thing, the hair.
06:00I'll take care of it.
06:01Yeah?
06:02Okay.
06:08I'm gonna buy your coffee.
06:15You clean up real good.
06:17You look nice yourself.
06:18And don't forget, my parents are very excited that you are a lawyer.
06:30About that.
06:31I don't know if I'm gonna be able to pull that off.
06:34You're an actor.
06:35Act.
06:41Okay, hit me with the family breakdown.
06:43Okay.
06:44Uh, Meredith.
06:45Mother.
06:46Housewife extraordinaire.
06:47Roy.
06:48Dad.
06:49Councilman.
06:50Your youngest sister is Trish.
06:51Joy.
06:52Right, right.
06:53Trish is the middle one.
06:54And, uh, her husband is Gil.
06:55And Joy's fiance's name is?
06:57Uh, John.
06:58Paul.
06:59Peter.
07:00You gotta get these straight.
07:01They're all gonna be at the party.
07:02Party?
07:03Yeah.
07:04It's no big deal.
07:05Just family.
07:06How long were you and Jason engaged?
07:07Uh, we dated for seven months.
07:08We were engaged for two.
07:10Wow.
07:11What happened?
07:12He's, uh, he's under a lot of pressure.
07:16Really stressed.
07:17He got this big job promotion offer in Pittsburgh.
07:19So.
07:20Oh, look.
07:21Here we are.
07:25Okay.
07:26Just remember, say as little as possible and follow my lead.
07:29Here we go.
07:32Here we go.
07:34Oh, honey, honey, honey.
07:35You're finally here.
07:37Oh, sweetie.
07:38Come here.
07:39You know, you could wash that car every once in a while.
07:46What about Jason's Tesla?
07:48I wanted to ride in that.
07:50Oh, that was my fault.
07:51I wanted to save my mileage, so we took the Jetta instead.
07:54Oh, well.
07:55At least we finally get to meet Jason.
08:01You're practically part of the family now.
08:03Yeah.
08:04Okay, well, let's go in.
08:05Okay.
08:06Everybody's looking forward to meeting you.
08:10Okay, come on in here.
08:13Oh, my God.
08:14I thought you said this was family only.
08:17I didn't want the whole town to think that you were going to be a spinster forever.
08:22Everyone, this is Hillary's Beyonce, Jason.
08:25Hi.
08:26Hi.
08:27How's it going?
08:28Oh, hey.
08:29Oh, yeah.
08:30Oh, Jason?
08:31Yeah.
08:32You were that firm that's defending that, uh, schmuck Shorman.
08:35Shorman?
08:36Yeah, man.
08:37He's as guilty as they come if you ask me.
08:39Pilking all those suckers out of their life savings.
08:41You know, Frank, I think everybody's considered innocent until proven guilty.
08:44I mean, isn't I right?
08:45Jason?
08:48Jason?
08:49Uh, Mr. Burns.
08:50Call me Roy.
08:51Yes.
08:52Pleasure to meet you, Roy.
08:53I do.
08:54You know what they say.
08:55How does it feel to be defending a crook like that?
08:57Well, uh, you know what?
08:58Frank, why don't you get yourself some eggnog?
09:00I just whipped up a fresh batch.
09:02Oh, that's a good time.
09:03Thanks, brother.
09:04Frank just comes for the eggnog.
09:05Yeah.
09:06So listen, uh, what kind of cases?
09:08Do you do, do you do, um, I don't know, fraud or extortion or money laundering?
09:12Uh, yeah.
09:13Yeah, I do.
09:14All of those.
09:15Come on, Dad.
09:16Leave poor Jason alone.
09:17He's spending enough time in the office already.
09:19Yeah, doing all that lawyering.
09:21Did you play?
09:22Uh, yes, but quite badly.
09:24Oh, that would be great.
09:26Mind if I don't?
09:27You know, when Hillary was young, she used to sing.
09:34Oh?
09:35Mm-hmm.
09:36That's...
09:37No.
09:38Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
09:39Okay, everybody, it's time to show the engagement ring.
09:50Wait till you see this beauty.
09:52Ta-da!
09:53Ta...
09:54I, I, I, I...
09:57I, I, I...
09:58I, I, I...
09:59I, I, I...
10:01I, I, I...
10:02What's the rest of the ring?
10:03I, I, I...
10:04What happened with the ring?
10:05That's a funny story, actually, right, sweetie?
10:08It turns out Hillary lost a few pounds, and the ring doesn't fit her anymore.
10:12Right.
10:13And this morning, she's taking a shower.
10:14She gets out of the shower, and the ring falls off her finger into the toilet.
10:18She calls me hysteric.
10:19Crazy.
10:20I was crazy.
10:21Crazy.
10:22She was, she was freaking out.
10:23I get there.
10:24So, what do I do?
10:25I've got to man up, right, Roy?
10:26Yeah.
10:27I've got to do it.
10:28I, I, I, it's go time.
10:29So I, I get down there on my knees, and I, I, I go in there.
10:31I go in there, I go in deep.
10:32I can feel it.
10:33I can feel it.
10:34I can feel it right there.
10:35It gets away, then I have to, I have to go a little bit deeper.
10:36And I'm reaching for it.
10:37And, ah, ah, ah.
10:38Nope.
10:39Deeper.
10:40Deeper.
10:41He has really small hands.
10:42It's disturbing, actually.
10:43And I, I, I can feel it.
10:44I can feel it.
10:45Right, right on the edge of my finger.
10:46It's right there.
10:47It's right there.
10:48And...
10:49I got it.
10:50Got the ring.
10:51Got the ring.
10:52Yeah, it's so cute.
10:53Oh, God.
10:54We decided to leave it home till we get it resized.
10:55Yeah.
10:56Yeah, it's better safe than sorry.
10:57Right, sweetie?
11:01I'm gonna get a drink.
11:05Hey.
11:06Hell, isn't it?
11:07I thought you quit.
11:09I did.
11:11So, is my fiancee boring yours with his foot talk yet?
11:15No.
11:16But I think David's got his hands pretty full.
11:20Did I say David?
11:22Yeah.
11:23Jason.
11:24Of course.
11:25David's a friend.
11:26I was on the phone.
11:28Well, I guess we better go back in there.
11:30If Mom has anything else to surprise me with, can you please tell me?
11:34Deal.
11:36Good to see you.
11:37Oh, my sweetie.
11:38Oh, look at this.
11:39Your picture's taken.
11:40Oh, the family photo.
11:41Yes, we always gather together here.
11:43Hey, everybody, ready?
11:48Don't worry, I could show Jason his room.
11:49Well, honey, don't be silly.
11:51The inn is full.
11:53Besides, I don't expect you to have separate rooms.
11:56Just separate beds.
12:00And if you need extra pillows or blankets, just ask me.
12:05That's okay, Mom.
12:06I think I know where everything is.
12:08Okay, well, you take it tonight.
12:09I'll take it tomorrow night.
12:10Whatever you want.
12:11Okay.
12:12I'm gonna go get a change for bed.
12:14Okay.
12:24Sorry.
12:25Um...
12:27No, I'm sorry.
12:28I thought you were still in the...
12:29Pajamas, please?
12:30Uh...
12:31No, I don't, uh...
12:32I don't wear...
12:34Pajamas.
12:35I didn't bring it.
12:36Okay, that's fine.
12:37I'll just find...
12:38See if my dad has him.
12:39Great.
12:46Daddy?
12:48Daddy.
12:49I plead not guilty.
12:50Sorry?
12:51What?
12:52Sorry?
12:53I came to ask you if Jason could borrow some pajamas.
12:55Oh, I don't have any.
12:57Your mother and I sleep in the room.
12:59Ugh.
13:00Since when?
13:01Ugh.
13:02Since Joy went off to college.
13:03We ran around naked for a week.
13:04You should have seen your mother.
13:05Oh, no, no, no.
13:06I don't anymore.
13:08This guy, uh, this Jason, he treats you right, does he?
13:12Yeah, yeah, of course.
13:13What?
13:15Do you love him?
13:17What?
13:18It's an easy question.
13:19Should be an easy answer.
13:20Dad, I'm marrying the guy.
13:22So?
13:23Do you love him?
13:25Yes, I do.
13:30Hey.
13:32The Beatles are right, after all.
13:35All you need is love.
13:36Hey, look at this.
13:37It's...
13:38Oh, I'm sorry.
13:39I'm calling someone.
13:40And, uh, there's nothing important.
13:41But, uh, I just wanted to let you know that I may have locked into some tickets to
14:06my little comment.
14:07And, um, I don't know, I thought maybe you might want to go?
14:12You know.
14:14Hey, um, call me.
14:17Morning.
14:18Morning.
14:19Morning, sweetheart.
14:20Where's Trish and Gil?
14:21Trish has sold the hotel.
14:23Gil hasn't shown up yet.
14:24Why are they staying at a hotel when there's plenty of room here?
14:26Well, with Emma and the nanny, maybe they felt they'd be a bother.
14:30I don't even know why Trish has a nanny.
14:31I mean, come on.
14:32I felt like she's ever had a job.
14:33But it's nice that her husband can afford to give her whatever she wants.
14:35He's just never around.
14:36How about Jason?
14:37How much does he earn?
14:38Mom?
14:39How much does he earn?
14:40Mom?
14:41How much does he earn?
14:42Mom?
14:43Oh, sweetie.
14:44I just want to make sure that you're cared for.
14:45Oh, come on, Mom, it is the 21st century.
14:48You don't need to be cared for.
14:50We have our own jobs.
14:51Right, help?
14:52Actually, the newspaper, we'll get a better job.
14:53Maybe they felt they'd be a bother.
14:54I don't even know what Trish has a nanny.
14:55I mean, come on.
14:56I felt like she's ever had a job.
14:57But it's nice that her husband can afford to give her whatever she wants.
14:59He's just never around.
15:00How about Jason?
15:01How much does he earn?
15:02Mom.
15:03Oh, sweetie, I just want to make sure that you're cared for.
15:06Oh, come on, Mom.
15:07It is the 21st century.
15:08You don't need to be cared for.
15:10You have our own jobs.
15:11actually the newspaper i was working for shut down oh honey not again well it's not my fault
15:17nobody reads newspapers anymore everything's on the internet well just in time i want you to tell
15:24me if my yam casserole is sweet enough oh i'm sorry i'm not a fan oh yes you are you're such
15:32a joker he's such a joker he loves yams like i said he loves yams okay
15:37i made that with splenda instead of sugar
15:46maybe just a little more time here this is really funny he is he really is he's so funny he's such a
15:57kidder well i just hope he's more serious when it comes to setting a wedding date please don't start
16:04honey i'm sorry if i seem a little anxious it's just that i have been deprived of planning the
16:13weddings for not one but two of my daughters here we go can't you girls understand that
16:21a mother wants to plan her daughter's weddings oh since you were babies i dreamed of this
16:28and then to find out that trisha eloped to an island well what about joy joy's engaged yeah
16:34joy is yes she is it has been for two years i will be six feet under by the time she sets a date
16:46i'm sorry if i'm a little upset but but honey it's come down to you you're the only one i can count on
16:55what's going on i'm i'm uh december 21st i'm i'm uh december 21st i didn't want to tell you i
17:04wanted to we were going to surprise you at dinner but that's it december 21st you're getting married
17:09on december 21st yes oh my god it's kind of soon but it's fabulous oh my darling girl oh this is
17:18fantastic oh did you hear i'm so happy well okay i have to book see the community hall and
17:27and call gail's greenery i don't even know if a number we wanted something small
17:39what are they doing out there well your father got it in his head that he was going to deep fry
17:46the turkey this year once we get this baby boiling you just rig the bird up to this line just drop it
17:53in the oil huh whatever you say all right let's fire this bad boy up all right get that would you
17:58yeah let me ask you something uh-huh you ever represent a councilman or a politician or anything
18:03no not personally but you could huh sure good to know good to know uh wait don't you want to
18:12wait until the oil come on we're missing the gate besides it's gonna take half an hour for it to get
18:17boiling come on oh god okay so it's me no things are not going well at all i just told my mom that
18:25david and i are getting married in a month you're marrying david now that was quick no no no me and
18:29jason i just i blurted it out that we're getting married on december 21st what this is nuts we're
18:35putting you on speaker well no because what what if jason really did get cold feet and and he's
18:39gonna come back to me because i mean more than more than pittsburgh and then the wedding's already
18:43planned which is which is actually not that crazy no it's crazy hill it's super crazy i know that's crazy
18:51what am i gonna do oh god i don't know surf's up and greg's gonna be here any minute i gotta go
18:56what yeah just listen to your heart just ride the wave just ride the wave what
19:05sophie sophie you know roy i think it's probably been 30 minutes should we go check on the pot do you
19:14know i could use a little you know legal counsel oh well you're a councilman right i'm sure you have a
19:24great lawyer he's a little too involved you know what i mean anyway what would be better than keeping
19:31it in the family all right well i guess i better go drop that bird in the oil oh uh yeah you sure you
19:38don't need a hand with that no no i got it uh ticklish hi this is beeping thank you um peter can i have
19:53my my foot back man oh of course thank you you're welcome
20:13anything important oh no no nothing important
20:21oh
20:38oh oh oh
20:39Roy!
20:44Oh, for the love of...
20:49Well, this isn't so bad, is it?
20:56Oh, um, I asked for seltzer.
21:00This looks like tap water with cheese floating in it.
21:04Sorry, Mrs. Burns.
21:06I can see that your old boyfriend hasn't amounted to much.
21:11Hi!
21:12Sorry we're late.
21:13Hey.
21:14Hi.
21:15Where's Gil?
21:16Uh, the benefit that he was attending ran late,
21:19so now he's snowed in in New York.
21:22Well, that's too bad.
21:24I know.
21:25If he were here, he could have gotten us a table at the golf club.
21:27Then we wouldn't have to eat in this dump.
21:29Hey, it's not snowing in New York.
21:31Hmm.
21:32It's not.
21:33Yeah.
21:34You know, Gilbert has a platinum membership to all the best clubs.
21:36Well, I'm not a big golf fan, so this place suits me just fine.
21:39Ha!
21:40Ha!
21:41Ha!
21:42Ha!
21:43Ha!
21:44This is fine!
21:45This is great!
21:46I...
21:47No?
21:48Ha!
21:49I thought you said that you met Jason at a charity golf tournament.
21:53Mm-hmm.
21:54That you were covering for that paper?
21:55Mm-hmm.
21:56That's right!
21:57Yeah!
21:58But I'm not a fan of the golf.
22:00But, you know, like a spectator.
22:03But I just play.
22:04But very, very badly.
22:05Very, very badly.
22:06That's why they gave you a car.
22:08Yeah!
22:09A Tesla, right?
22:10Yes!
22:11He won the car at the tournament.
22:12And then you interviewed the winner.
22:14Look at me.
22:15Mm-hmm.
22:16He forgets everything, right, honey?
22:17Crazy.
22:18Yeah.
22:19I think you're sandbagging, aren't you?
22:20No.
22:21Oh, my God.
22:22San...
22:23My name is Paco, and I'll be your server this holiday evening.
22:26Uh, would you like to hear about our specials?
22:28Ah!
22:29Seguro!
22:30Mm-hmm!
22:31Uh, okay, well, basically what we have is, anything that's chicken, pollo, we switch that
22:35out for guajolote.
22:36Guajolote?
22:37Guajolote?
22:38Guajolote!
22:39Guajolote!
22:40That means turkey.
22:43And that turkey tacos are particularly delicious tonight.
22:46David?
22:47Yes?
22:48Hey!
22:49It's Julian!
22:50Hi, Julian!
22:51Hey!
22:52Hey!
22:53Hi, Julian!
22:54Hey!
22:55Hi, there!
22:56Hi, there!
22:57But my name is Jason.
22:58Jason?
22:59Jason is my name.
23:00No, it's not.
23:01J...
23:02Really?
23:03Yeah, it's Jason.
23:04But my...
23:05David is my middle name, so there's confusion sometimes.
23:08Oh, okay.
23:09Alrighty.
23:10Well, anyway, it's been a while since we did that bus and truck tour pair together.
23:14Oh, God, you look good.
23:16Are you still in the biz?
23:18Yes.
23:19So, what are you doing?
23:20Oh, you're looking at it.
23:21It's a nightmare, yeah.
23:22But I had to move back in with my parents to get a more stable career going on.
23:25So, here I am.
23:26All right, I hear you!
23:27Gracias!
23:28De nada!
23:29I'll be there!
23:30It never stops.
23:31Anyway, I'll be back in a minute to get your orders.
23:34Just word to the wise, don't get the Flavos Rancheros.
23:36I had them for breakfast.
23:37I feel like there's a knife in my colon.
23:39Happy Turkey Day, everyone!
23:40Olé!
23:41Hey!
23:42Jillian.
23:43So, Jason David, what biz are you still in?
23:53Oh, I'm in the law.
23:55I do a little pro bono work.
24:00I'm charity.
24:02And I represented a few theater companies a few years back.
24:08So, theater people are so crazy.
24:12I do some salsa.
24:13Mm-hmm.
24:15He's a giver.
24:16Mmm.
24:17Mmm.
24:18How could you forget?
24:19We went over that at least a half a dozen times.
24:22I've never played golf before.
24:23It's not a part of my repertoire.
24:25And what was all that with the crazy waiter and the diner?
24:27We were in a production of hair eight years ago.
24:29How was I supposed to know we'd end up in...
24:31Where are we, anyway?
24:32Is everything okay?
24:34Yes.
24:35We were just talking about the mix-up of the diner.
24:38Oh, what mix-up?
24:39Well, I'm pooped.
24:41Oh, I'm pooped, too.
24:42It's not every day that we blow up a turkey around here.
24:46You know, dinner was actually kind of fun, and the Mexican food wasn't half bad.
24:50Oh, that's good.
24:51Not as good as your turkey dinner would have been.
24:53Wasn't even close.
24:55You know, if Hillary doesn't take me to the curb, maybe I'll be lucky enough to try it next year.
25:00Hmm.
25:01Well, you know, I didn't want to deep-fry that turkey in the first place.
25:05But when Roy gets an idea stuck in his head...
25:08But we've got, uh, stuffing, three pies, and my yam casserole.
25:15Which is always better on the second day, anyway.
25:17Mmm, that is so true.
25:19You know, it's getting late.
25:20Uh-huh.
25:21So you go to bed, get a good night's sleep, and we'll see you in the morning, okay?
25:26Good night.
25:29Your turn to sleep on the cot.
25:32I'm sorry.
25:33No.
25:35No.
25:37No, it was me.
25:39I dropped the ball.
25:41I just, I don't know why you're doing this.
25:43I mean, I know you want the tickets, but there's gotta be an easier way to get to Mexico.
25:47Hmm.
25:50Playa del Carmen.
25:53That's where I met my girlfriend.
25:55Or, rather, my ex-girlfriend.
25:58I guess I thought that if I took her back to the resort where we met...
26:02And, I don't know, it might read Night the Spark or something.
26:08But, I didn't have enough money for the ticket, so...
26:11Well, I'm sure it'll work.
26:15I hope so.
26:16I mean, she's kinda dating this other guy, right now.
26:22But, who does she call every time they break up?
26:25Me.
26:27So, obviously.
26:29She, deep down, she really doesn't wanna be with him.
26:33Hmm.
26:34So you're the get-back guy.
26:36What?
26:38What, man?
26:41The get-back guy?
26:42You know, the guy she calls to get back at her ex.
26:45No, I'm not that guy.
26:46He's that guy.
26:47Well, when you met her, was she seeing him?
26:48No, they're just broken up.
26:50See?
26:52No, no, no.
26:53It's not like that.
26:55No, they broke up.
26:56Uh-huh.
26:57And then we met.
26:58And then we were, you know, together.
27:01Like a couple.
27:02For how long?
27:03For, hmm, five weeks.
27:09And then she went back to him.
27:10Yeah, but she keeps calling me.
27:13Uh, alright.
27:14It may look like I'm the get-back guy.
27:16But I know that all she needs to do is get away from that, that hold he has on her.
27:23And then she can realize that what she really wants is me.
27:28Okay.
27:29Trust me.
27:31I know.
27:32She's materialistic and sentimental.
27:35So, this could work.
27:37Maybe.
27:38I mean the, the ticket thing.
27:43Are you hungry?
27:44You know, I was bummed when the post closed down.
27:50That was my Sunday morning read.
27:51I love that funky rag.
27:52I know.
27:53The end of an era.
27:54So, are you gonna find another gay reporting or something?
27:57I don't know.
27:58I mean, the only reason why I got that job was because my friend Sophie worked there and I needed it.
28:02And I don't think I'm very good at it.
28:05You wrote that article a few weeks back about the animal shelter, right?
28:09Yeah, that was me.
28:10Well, you must have some talent.
28:12I mean, it's thanks to you that I am now the proud owner of the same dog you were hugging in that photo.
28:18You rescued Skittles from the animal shelter because of what I wrote?
28:21Yeah.
28:22Only his name's Whiskey now.
28:24Yeah.
28:25I'm gonna miss the post.
28:28I mean, I get all the news I can handle online.
28:30But, I wanna hold something.
28:33You know?
28:34Not just my laptop, but an actual newspaper.
28:36Yeah, I love print.
28:37Who says print is dead?
28:38Let's start a revolution.
28:39Be not print.
28:42Nice.
28:45What about you?
28:46This and that cell phone gig are the only paying jobs I've had in a while.
28:52Look at the pair of us.
28:54Dumped, unemployed, and eating sugar and carbs at midnight.
28:57Right.
29:01Who is it?
29:06I don't know.
29:08We should take this upstairs.
29:09Great idea.
29:10Only two more days to go.
29:12Free Lilo.
29:13We just go with it.
29:15I think we can totally get through this.
29:18Now, let's not pressure our love.
29:20Let's get out of here and go sightseeing or something.
29:21Good plan.
29:22Wow.
29:23No.
29:24Oh, sorry.
29:25Oh, you startled me.
29:26It's beautiful.
29:27Oh, well, it will be.
29:28You do this all yourself?
29:29Every year.
29:30Um, can I help you at all?
29:31No.
29:32Oh.
29:33I'm sorry.
29:34Uh, okay.
29:35There is a wreath over there that I had designed for the mantle.
29:38Yes.
29:39Here?
29:40Here?
29:41Pick it up very carefully and it belongs right on the mantle in the center.
29:45Okay?
29:46Watch yourself on that ladder.
29:47Oh, I got it.
29:48Oh, I got it.
29:49Thank you, Jason.
29:50Don't worry about it.
29:51It's a little crooked.
29:52There.
29:53No, I mean, thank you for Thanksgiving and for being such a good sport.
29:54Oh.
29:55Oh.
29:56Oh.
29:57Oh.
29:58Oh.
29:59Oh.
30:00Oh.
30:01Oh.
30:02Oh.
30:03Oh.
30:04Oh.
30:05Oh.
30:06Oh.
30:07Oh.
30:08Oh.
30:09Oh.
30:10Oh.
30:11Oh.
30:12Oh.
30:13Oh.
30:14Oh.
30:15Oh.
30:16Oh.
30:17Oh.
30:18Oh.
30:19Oh.
30:20Oh.
30:21I'm looking for it today and....
30:22thank you for loving my daughter.
30:26She loves you very much, you know.
30:29I can see it in her face.
30:34Well ah...
30:35I love her, too.
30:36Mrs. Burns.
30:37Oh.
30:38Call me Meredith.
30:39Please.
30:40Or...
30:41Or, Mom...
30:42If you like.
30:43Please, or, or mom, if you like.
30:48Okay.
30:52Listen, uh, can I give you a hand with anything else, or?
30:55After 20-some years, I've got it down to a science.
30:59All right.
31:01I'll, um, head up to bed now.
31:06Good night, Jason.
31:13Good night.
31:13Good night, Mom.
31:28Hey, Hillary.
31:30Yeah.
31:31You see this?
31:32Oh, yeah.
31:33My mom does this every year after Thanksgiving.
31:35It's her tradition.
31:36When we were little, we used to think it was elves or something.
31:38It's just the two I was looking for.
31:49I know you're only here for a few more days, but we have to find the perfect wedding dress
31:58and pick the china and the linens and the cake.
32:03Oh, I think you should go, hon.
32:05I mean, go with it.
32:07Isn't that what brides are supposed to do?
32:09Go dress shopping with their mothers?
32:10Yes, of course.
32:12Yeah.
32:12But I really think it's a good idea to go shopping on Black Friday.
32:15Let's go shopping.
32:17Oh, let's go shopping.
32:20Yay.
32:23Come on, look.
32:32Oh, it's beautiful.
32:35Dum-dum-dum.
32:36Here, hold my purse.
32:39Thanks.
32:40Here.
32:41Here.
32:42Okay.
32:43Thanks.
32:47Are you almost ready?
32:50Oh!
32:51Oh!
32:53Hillary, it looks beautiful.
32:56Yeah?
32:56Oh, honey, you look beautiful.
32:58Pretty.
32:59Thank you very much.
33:02Oh, darling, I love you.
33:04Yeah?
33:04Yeah.
33:05So what's going on with you and Jason?
33:12Nothing.
33:13My point exactly.
33:15We're two young lovebirds.
33:17I don't see much affection.
33:21No kiss, no hug.
33:22Mom, he's just not a touchy-feely guy.
33:24Don't worry about it.
33:25Well, I just want to be able to see your marriage succeed, you know.
33:30Most marriages fall apart first in the bedroom.
33:35You know, your father and I make love three times a week.
33:38Ah!
33:38My ears are bleeding.
33:40Jason's a good catch.
33:42A little odd and nervous, I guess, but I like him.
33:47He's good for you.
33:48Pretty.
33:49Pretty.
33:50Oh!
33:55Pretty.
33:58Oh!
33:59Is she getting married?
34:00Well, yes, of course.
34:01I'm not.
34:02Oh.
34:03My therapist says that I should visualize what I want and it will manifest itself.
34:07Well, that sounds like a very good strategy.
34:12I want that dress.
34:13I'll take it.
34:16That's beautiful.
34:18Nice.
34:19Oh!
34:19Oh, ma'am.
34:20Ma'am, that is my fiancé's dress.
34:22I saw it first and it's mine.
34:24Okay, can I have it, please?
34:25No.
34:25Look, of your way!
34:26Pretty!
34:27Oh, my God.
34:29Who dressed my bride?
34:32Just between you and I, how would you advise our client to proceed if it was discovered
34:42that, let's say, he was getting money for selling, I don't know, boats?
34:47I would probably advise that person to stop talking about it and definitely not tell any
34:51longer, kid.
34:52There's no one.
34:53Gotcha.
34:54Gotcha.
34:56Hey, so what do you like better, cups or mugs?
34:58I don't know.
34:59I think we get better.
35:00You've set of mugs.
35:01What do you think?
35:01Table setting for eight or twelve.
35:04Hillary, can I talk you outside for a minute?
35:06Yeah.
35:06Oh, God.
35:10What, what, what?
35:11You do realize that we're not actually getting married, right?
35:16Yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:17Yeah.
35:18Yeah.
35:19But what if Jason actually did get cold feet?
35:21I mean, a lot of people think they want to move to Pittsburgh and then they change their
35:25mind.
35:26Hey, look sharp, kid.
35:28There is someone here to see you.
35:29Oh, Father Macy, what are you doing here?
35:38Well, sweetie, your wedding is in less than a month.
35:40You really should have met with Father Macy weeks ago, so I invited him over.
35:45Oh, my.
35:46Oh.
35:46Hello, I'm Father Macy.
35:49Hi, Father.
35:51Jason.
35:52So, is there somewhere we could go and talk?
35:55Well, it's a beautiful day.
35:56Why don't you take a walk?
35:57Perfect.
35:59So, Jason, you're going to marry Hillary.
36:02That's what they keep telling me.
36:03I would like to make sure that you're both headed on the same path, that you share the
36:07same ideals and beliefs, for if not, the marriage could suffer.
36:12So, Jason, tell me, which church were you raised in?
36:16Well, I didn't actually go to church.
36:20No worries.
36:20Are you Roman Catholic?
36:22No.
36:23Protestant?
36:24Mm-hmm.
36:24LDS?
36:25Jewish.
36:27Jewish.
36:29Well, I see.
36:32I'm sure you understand, then, that I would not be able to perform on the ceremony.
36:35No, we talked about this, and Jason has no problem with converting.
36:39Actually, I...
36:40Oh, I have a wonderful idea.
36:43We could have Jason baptized at the same time as Emma.
36:46Oh, I don't...
36:47No, Trish, I don't...
36:48Ha, that...
36:49Yeah, that could...
36:50Wow.
36:51Oh, no way.
36:52No way I'm getting baptized.
36:53Come on, it's just a formality, it's not that big a deal.
36:56I'm Jewish.
36:57You're not that Jewish.
36:59What are you even talking about?
37:00My grandma, Turtletop, would roll in her grave if she knew I was doing this.
37:04My mom would be so disappointed if we don't have a wedding at her church.
37:07What wedding, Hillary?
37:09We're not really getting married!
37:10Quiet!
37:11Shh!
37:11Oh, my God.
37:15I'm so sorry.
37:18This is so stupid.
37:20You're right, this is so stupid.
37:22What am I doing?
37:22This is so stupid.
37:23I mean, here I am, trying to do everything to make my mother happy.
37:28And for what?
37:29To set her up for my greatest disappointment ever.
37:32That's so foolish to think Jason is actually coming back.
37:35He's not coming back.
37:36I mean, he's in Pittsburgh.
37:38He's happy to be rid of me.
37:46Here.
37:47Just give the voucher numbers to the airline for your tickets.
37:52Take them.
37:56Take them.
37:56You earn them.
37:58But the...
37:59The weekend's not even over yet.
38:02Please.
38:03I couldn't expect you to stay when the crap hits the fan.
38:06I mean, God knows you've been thrown up already.
38:08So, uh...
38:13This is it.
38:14The engagement's off?
38:16Yes.
38:17Yeah.
38:18The engagement's off.
38:19Is there a train or something I should catch?
38:30Yeah.
38:32Um...
38:32You missed the 5.30, but I think there's an 11.30.
38:36One...
38:36That's...
38:37That's better.
38:38I should probably wait to leave until after everyone's gone to bed.
38:41So...
38:42Thanks.
38:43Sure.
38:56Well...
38:57That was, uh...
38:58Fun.
38:59Right?
38:59Yeah.
39:01Good luck with, uh...
39:03Everything.
39:05I hope you find a spark in Mexico.
39:08Thanks.
39:08Uh...
39:09There.
39:37He says...
39:38I'll call you tomorrow.
39:43Joy, is that the waiter from the diner?
39:45Yeah.
39:46Stu and I dated for a couple months before Mom set me up with the footman.
39:50She thought Stu wasn't good enough, so...
39:53She worked her magic, and the next thing I knew, Stu was out of the picture,
39:58and I was engaged to Pete the podiatrist.
40:01Is that why you haven't set a date?
40:02Oh...
40:03Don't get me wrong.
40:06Pete's a good man.
40:08A little weird.
40:09But...
40:10Good guy.
40:12I just don't love him.
40:16Not like I love Stu.
40:18What's really going on with you and Jason?
40:21Jason dumped me a week ago.
40:25So I hired an actor named David to play my fiancé for the weekend.
40:33You what?
40:35Wait.
40:36Wait.
40:38Okay.
40:38So...
40:39Where did Jason or David go?
40:42Left...
40:43Just...
40:47I don't know.
40:49It's left.
40:50It's...
40:50I don't know.
40:52Oh, wow.
40:54But...
40:55You like him.
40:57David, you like David.
40:58I...
40:58What?
40:59I don't like David.
41:00I don't even know David.
41:01It's crazy.
41:02I like David.
41:04I'm lucky.
41:04Yes.
41:05There's something I have to tell you.
41:07About Jason.
41:09He dumped me.
41:10I am well aware of what's going on.
41:14You are?
41:14Yes.
41:15I saw him leaving last night.
41:17Oh.
41:17That's just part of it.
41:19That's not...
41:19Hillary Jean.
41:21I have to say this.
41:22Sweetheart.
41:23When are you going to get serious?
41:25You are not a spring chicken anymore.
41:2830 is in the rearview mirror.
41:31And you have nothing to show for it.
41:33No career.
41:34No direction.
41:35And now I guess no Jason.
41:36Guess again.
41:38I found him sitting in his car.
41:39I thought I'd invite him in.
41:40Long story tell you later.
41:43They're still on.
41:44They're still on?
41:46Just so everyone knows, for the record, none of this is Hillary's fault.
41:50Oh no.
41:51Okay.
41:52So, um, aren't you two going to kiss and make up?
41:56Go on.
41:57Come on.
41:59Okay.
41:59Okay.
41:59Should I call Father Macy?
42:19I don't know.
42:21I don't know.
42:23No.
42:23No, that's fine.
42:24Call him.
42:25Call him.
42:28I gotta...
42:29I should go and pack.
42:34Told ya.
42:45Hey, we had a deal, right?
42:49So, is your...
42:50Is your ex or whatever, is she going to Mexico?
42:53Yep.
42:54Well, that's nice.
42:55You guys should have a good time.
42:56I don't know about me, but I'm sure she and Peggy will have a great time.
43:01What do you mean?
43:04She thought I was giving her the tickets.
43:06Oh.
43:07Ow.
43:08She was just using me.
43:10It's the story of my life.
43:11Always the get-back guy, never just the guy.
43:13You know, don't give her those tickets.
43:15Hi, Liz.
43:20So, do the tickets?
43:23Yeah, about that.
43:24Um, you know, when I told you about these tickets, I was kind of hoping that you and I would go and have a very nice night.
43:29Wait till Matt finds out that I'm going to Mexico.
43:33Right.
43:33Can we not talk about Matt, maybe?
43:35Oh, my God.
43:36He's going to be so pissed.
43:38Hey, hi.
43:40Hi.
43:41Oh, I'm so sorry, Emily.
43:43I had to meet the caterers.
43:44And I had another dress fitting.
43:47I'm sorry.
43:48And you are...
43:49You are...
43:51Lindsay.
43:53Lindsay?
43:56Lindsay, David told me all about you and Playa del Carmen.
43:59God, I guess I'm lucky he's not into party girls, huh?
44:02Did you send her an invite to our wedding?
44:05Wedding?
44:06You didn't send her an invite?
44:08It happened so fast, though.
44:10That's right.
44:11It was just boom.
44:12Like that.
44:13Love at first sight.
44:14I didn't have an invite, too.
44:15Mm-hmm.
44:16I'm so good.
44:18But can I just have the tickets, please?
44:19Mm-hmm.
44:20Thanks.
44:21David?
44:22That's actually why I'm here.
44:24I have to admit, when he first told me about your thing in Mexico, I was jealous.
44:28I was.
44:29Yes.
44:29In the heat of the moment, I told him to give the vouchers away, right?
44:32Because it's not like we're going to have a honeymoon where he met some girl.
44:35But then, I woke up this morning, and I was like, no.
44:40You know what?
44:40The past is the past.
44:41The heck with it.
44:42I mean, he's marrying me, not you.
44:44So I went online.
44:45I traded in the vouchers.
44:46And surprise!
44:48Honeymoon in Playa del Carmen!
44:49You didn't!
44:49I did!
44:50Oh, come here.
44:50Bye, Lindsay.
44:55Bye, Lindsay.
45:20Bye, Lindsay.
45:50Oh, that was wonderful.
46:02Honey, I haven't heard you sing for so long.
46:05And the two of you together, just beautiful.
46:08Just beautiful.
46:16Jason.
46:19Jason.
46:20What are you doing here?
46:23I wanted to see you.
46:25Who is it, honey?
46:28Oh.
46:30Mom.
46:31Dad.
46:34Everybody.
46:36This is Jason.
46:38Happy holidays, everybody.
46:46Mom.
46:47Mom.
46:47I'm sorry.
46:48I shouldn't have done that, but I didn't want to disappoint you.
46:50So you bring a total stranger into my house.
46:52I would never, ever have believed that you would be capable of doing something so despicable.
46:58What were you thinking?
47:00Peter and I are breaking up.
47:05Sorry, dude.
47:06Is there any chance you might still be a lawyer with me?
47:19No.
47:21Hillary, can we talk?
47:24I'm so sorry about David.
47:27I don't know.
47:28I think I might have lost my mind.
47:30I'm so confused.
47:31I don't know anything.
47:32I don't understand.
47:33You do?
47:35Because I don't...
47:36People do crazy things when their hearts have been broken.
47:40Besides, harboring grudges is no way for us to start our future together.
47:44Our future?
47:45Peter, you said I was a mistake.
47:49And I don't know if I want to move to Pittsburgh.
47:51There is no Pittsburgh.
47:54Sharpell gave the promotion to his idiot nephew.
47:57But none of that matters anymore.
48:00Because now we can be together.
48:14David?
48:16What are you doing?
48:17Well, actually, I was just going to go talk to Hillary.
48:19I think that's a bad idea.
48:20In fact, I'm very surprised to see that you're still here.
48:24Weren't you the one that was paid to fill Jason's shoes?
48:27And now that Jason is here,
48:29I really don't think there's any reason for you to stay.
48:33Well, I...
48:33Don't.
48:34Don't hurt Hillary's chances.
48:36Okay.
48:38No, no, no.
48:39You know what?
48:40You may think that Jason is the perfect son-in-law, but he's not.
48:44He walked out on Hillary.
48:47She's the one who's perfect.
48:48She's kind.
48:49And she's beautiful.
48:50And she's a gifted writer.
48:51Have you ever even read one of her articles?
48:55She can talk to this whole thing.
48:56Just because she's terrified of disappointing you.
49:03All she wants is to keep you happy.
49:08And Meredith,
49:08I'm sorry that I deceived you.
49:12I truly am very sorry.
49:15And it's fine if you think that Jason will make her happy.
49:18But have you ever asked Hillary what will make her happy?
49:23Have you?
49:24Kiss me.
49:42Hmm?
49:43Kiss me.
49:44I really have to get this done.
49:45Kiss me like...
49:46Like the future Mrs. King.
49:47Kiss me like you love me.
49:48Hillary,
49:49I really don't think your parents asked the place for this.
49:51You two love me, right?
49:52Go for King.
49:58Bill's going to be fine.
49:59No.
50:00Gary will get him to me.
50:06I have a question.
50:08Does...
50:08Um...
50:09Jason.
50:11The real Jason.
50:12Not the fake Jason.
50:13Does he have any other talents besides being a good lawyer?
50:18What do you mean?
50:19Can you rig a turkey?
50:21Maybe play a tune?
50:23Jason?
50:25I don't think so.
50:28Would he make you sing?
50:30Like you did earlier tonight?
50:35You know,
50:36I know it doesn't seem like it.
50:38But your mother really just wants you to be happy.
50:41Maybe it's time you...
50:43told her what you want.
50:45If you know what you want.
50:46Mom.
50:49Oh, Hillary.
50:52I'm so sorry, honey.
50:55You sent all these beautiful articles and...
50:58I'm sorry, I didn't read them.
51:01You've always been a gifted writer.
51:03And all of those wonderful things that David yelled at me.
51:07Do you love Jason?
51:12Not...
51:12Not...
51:13I mean, you know,
51:13the real Jason.
51:14No, I know what you mean.
51:20No.
51:24I think I hate him.
51:27Me too.
51:27Do you love David?
51:37He did.
51:49No!
51:50No!
51:50I gotta buy you a car.
52:00Thanks.
52:02I have four copies right...
52:04What?
52:06You say my car?
52:08Hillary, what?
52:09Are you...
52:10Where are you going?
52:11Where are you going?
52:11I'll call you a cab.
52:31Hi.
52:40How did you...
52:41I borrowed Jason's car.
52:45You and Jason...
52:46Nope.
52:48Jason is a total jerk, you're right.
52:50And a big mistake.
52:52Huge mistake.
52:55Huge mistake.
52:56Okay.
52:59You're here now.
53:02You're here.
53:03Mm-hmm.
53:04Mm-hmm.
53:07What does that make me?
53:09Not a mistake.
53:10Not a mistake.
53:10Yeah.
53:26Bye.
53:31Bye.
53:34Bye.
53:38Bye.
53:38Bye.
53:39Bye.
53:40Bye.
53:40Bye.
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