00:00Sonic and the Tales of Tears Story 1
00:02This is a novel, unfortunately, so a video showing just what's in it wouldn't be interesting to look at.
00:10It starts with the heroes standing in front of a flying saucer hovering over a treeless part of a forest.
00:19By heroes, I have to assume it means literally every playable Sonic character ever.
00:24Who really only all show up at the same place if it's a birthday party.
00:28So now I have to assume they're all here because one of them was having a birthday party.
00:34But then why is Big here?
00:35Sonic didn't invite Big to his birthday party.
00:39And it wouldn't be a good look for Sonic if one of his friends was nicer than him.
00:44Big wonders if the person in the UFO just wants to make friends while Tails is cautious about it.
00:50But since he could be right, it's believable that Tails doesn't tell him to stop.
00:54Big touches the flying saucer causing the person inside to threaten him.
01:00Amy tells her teammates from Heroes specifically to give it a little flower power.
01:06Which is such a lame line that's dissonant with the tone it was going for.
01:10Since when would it be Amy who'd be the first to attack this kind of thing instead of Sonic?
01:15And it's starting to distract you from that plot hole by dangling keys in the form of the Team Rose Team Blast.
01:24Amy's attack doesn't even do anything.
01:27And the saucer sinks firmly into the earth.
01:30Somehow a machine telling the heroes to submit sets their hairs on end despite all of the experience some of them have fighting Eggman.
01:38Why does Tails say the top looks like it's vulnerable?
01:42It wouldn't.
01:44Sonic spin jumps at the saucer crumbling his dome.
01:48And in a smug annoying dialogue that clashes with the tension the scene's going for.
01:54He's talking as if he only just now showed up.
01:57But that would mean the book lied when it said the heroes at the start.
02:01It wouldn't make any sense that Sonic wouldn't be with them right away and it would be late.
02:07But the narrations like the blue blur came into focus as Sonic.
02:12So he was.
02:13This is like Sonic X where the other heroes are wimps so Sonic can look better.
02:18The saucer splits open and the metal body of it bursts to shoot green slime all over Amy's team.
02:26At least Tails dodged it.
02:28Sonic actually laughs at and taunts them when they have every reason to assume the slime is toxic after where it came from.
02:37Since when is it like Eggman to pull a harmless prank on them?
02:41This is the most obnoxious Sonic there's ever been in the franchise.
02:45I've read all Sonic the comic.
02:48He would never say this there.
02:50He would have been suspicious and on edge about the slime.
02:53Sure Sonic is supposed to be an anti-hero because of parts of the world where he wasn't marketed that way saw the Mega Drive bomb.
03:01But the anti-hero personality was just about him being impatient and rude to people that don't like him.
03:07Tails also doesn't take the slime seriously somehow.
03:11I only knew that when he said standard procedure.
03:15I thought he was supposed to be smart.
03:17This is ridiculously out of character.
03:18For all they know, an alien saucer has flashed them with the stuff that was telling them to submit.
03:24Why would they ever think the slime was harmless?
03:28Tails would once put the slime under a microscope the second he got home and counteract whatever effect it would have.
03:36This is so disrespectful and the only way you wouldn't notice how forced this is would be if you had no respect for these characters.
03:44Because it's not even just a few.
03:46All of them are being insanely stupid by not freaking out about this.
03:51Instead it cuts ahead to the next day where Sonic's running through town hoping to find some explosions and attacks.
03:58Like most people would expect him to spend his time doing anyways.
04:02He sees Cream and Vanilla in front of their house and Cream's hitting a wrench against a warped pile of a mountain of sheet metal.
04:10And Chase doesn't care when sparks hit his eyes.
04:14Somehow this doesn't cause Sonic to pick them up and run to Tails to get them examined.
04:20Or at least run to Tails to tell him they've been possessed.
04:23Instead Sonic loses all of his brain cells and I've officially lost respect for this story because this is the second time it's been forced to progress by an idiot ball.
04:33Sonic expresses some doubt that a wrench would shape a mountain of metal into his spear.
04:39He doesn't make anything with metal himself.
04:41How would he know it's a bad idea?
04:44It's almost like Tails should have been used for this.
04:47Cream takes his advice which makes it forced that she didn't already know to fold two pieces of metal together and start molding it.
04:56Cream says she wants Sonic to join her and he runs to Amy's house.
05:01Instead of Tails' house.
05:03Where he finds Amy staring at a map of the world.
05:06She sneezes out some green slime.
05:09And I have to assume the only reason this happened to her was that she happened to have a cold.
05:13He runs away and somehow the narration says then it hit him as if it wasn't obvious instantly what this was all about.
05:22He decides to go back to the crash site.
05:25Instead of going back to Tails.
05:28He sees Big looking different than usual too.
05:30And again there's nothing new with how he acts.
05:33Compared to Cream and Amy.
05:35He finally thinks to go to Tails.
05:37He says the medical team checked the entire crash site and it couldn't find organic matter in that, um, robot.
05:45And they concluded that the slime was just insulation.
05:49Why is he bothering to say it's color as if that matters?
05:52He at least thought to run some tests on the meteorite.
05:55But not the slime somehow.
05:58He assumed the metal could have been bad to touch out of paranoia.
06:01So he was careful taking it here.
06:03For once I smiled a little because that was good characterization.
06:08That he didn't touch the slime.
06:11Sonic sees a whole bunch of people getting infected by Cream.
06:14Hope it gets explained why she was making that spear instead of doing this right away.
06:19This came out before the metal virus arc by the way.
06:22Tails says it'll take a while of running tests first.
06:25And Sonic leaves Tails locked in the lab.
06:27And never succeeds in saving anyone as he runs around whatever town this is.
06:31The book is too lazy to give the town a name because that would have been the bare minimum of good world building.
06:39He sees the infected people building stuff with metal.
06:43That's always interesting.
06:44You'd think that the thing Cream built would have been more than enough to tell the aliens where to go.
06:50You'd think the thing they would be building would be where Cream was building.
06:55Sonic gets banked up against a wall and has to run just between Amy and Cream.
07:00Wait, why don't he jump over them?
07:03Moron.
07:05He goes back into the lab and Tails pulls an emergency lever to cover the windows and doors of it with metal doors in case Eggman ever attacked.
07:13This is how I'd expect Tails to be because he's smart.
07:17If he had the kind of lab that Zawbots could break into, that'd be extremely out of character.
07:22Tails says he has an idea and explains that the meteorite has an AI that's only interested in taking over everything it touches.
07:30Tails built an amplifier in just a couple of hours attuned to the meteorite's frequency that could speak to the fragment.
07:36And everyone would understand if he amplified it.
07:39Tails talks like he's been infected too.
07:42So I take away the point I gave earlier.
07:44He really was stupid enough to get slime on him somehow.
07:48Even touching gloves is bad enough.
07:52I guess it goes through the gloves.
07:55He shatters the glass container and opens the security switch.
07:59Sonic takes the amplifier out of desperation just in case he could fix the problem.
08:04When Tails talked like it's used, we'd just brainwash everyone.
08:07So that's convenient.
08:10Because he doesn't know about technology, so he wouldn't really know how to modify it.
08:15At least without instructions that anybody could follow.
08:19Tails had prepared a memo that was attached to the amplifier telling Sonic exactly what he needed to do just in case.
08:27Why is a hive-minded people bothering to speak to each other?
08:31They already know their plan.
08:33Which is to call a meteor to the earth.
08:35Sonic talks to them and lies that he's given up and is going to speed things up.
08:41He clearly has a plan, because the story already said Tails had a memo telling him what to do.
08:46But it's still hard to read that he lets them infect him.
08:51He presses the amplifier onto a tower, flips on a switch, his vision erupts in fire,
08:58and he wakes up in a hospital bed with his cured friends conveniently already in front of him.
09:02Even Big visited him, despite the fact that he didn't care enough about him to invite him to his birthday party.
09:09Meaning he isn't close friends with him.
09:12Definitely an alternate universe from the games.
09:16Tails says that the meteorite's power was never supposed to pump out that much information that fast.
09:22Why is he saying this now?
09:25That would have been explained on the memo we gave him.
09:29Sonic was the only one who was hurt, because when the machine overloaded, it caught fire in his hands and melted the tower.
09:36I guess Sonic didn't have any rings, because it actually hurt him.
09:40The story ends with Sonic whining that the one thing he's bad at is waiting,
09:45which is a pretty lame line to end off a story like this.
09:49This story by Kiel Fegli was a needlessly depressing zombie apocalypse story in the Sonic franchise of all things,
09:57and it didn't even have the appeal of being started by the main villain of the series.
10:00But at least tried to offer something unique,
10:04because the people infected were trying to build a beacon to summon a meteor to get the planet invaded.
10:10It feels unique that the zombie idea is about nanobot slime operating on behalf of aliens.
10:16But it kept giving the characters idiot balls to force the progression.
10:21The heroes would have assumed the slime was something horrible right away,
10:24and had themselves quarantined.
10:26And Tails definitely wouldn't have been stupid enough to get infected themselves.
10:30And why would anyone want a story like this in Sonic in the first place?
10:37The appeal of Sonic is that he gets to save people and enact karma on bad guys.
10:42Neither of which happened.
10:45And maybe if it wasn't needlessly depressing the whole time, it would have made up for that.
10:49Sonic's running around super fast was never necessary to the story.
10:54The plot could have easily been written so that the slime was broken out automatically,
10:58so none of the characters' abilities were necessary.
11:02So you could tell this kind of story in any franchise that has sci-fi elements.
11:06And it was non-stop no fun to be had.
11:10Even that could have been acceptable if this was a fully visual medium
11:13where you could have fully colored in pretty pictures to look at
11:16whose bright colors would have tried to offset the tone.
11:19The idea could have been forgiven for how dark it was if it was only used when it was interesting.
11:25If as soon as Sonic went to the lab, the story cut ahead in time to when the amplifier was made.
11:30And then the plan was carried out.
11:33Sonic knew Tails was making a cure.
11:35So why did he even bother trying to get people to evacuate the town?
11:39The part where he was running around town was a waste of time
11:43because that was all that happened in it.
11:46So it was just there for shock value, which cheapens the plot point.
11:51Because at that point, it's just about being dark
11:53when it was already dark.
11:55Okay.
12:05you
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