Speed McQueen Compilation 😂

Speed McQueen

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Transcript

00:00Hey you, do you want one KFC bucket or do you want to double it and give it to the next person?

00:05Ah, double it and give it to the next person.

00:07Alright, we're doubling it. Now we gotta find our next person.

00:27What did you send me today?

00:30Is that a spider?

00:32Oh no!

00:34Bro, I have a fear of spiders. I hate spiders.

00:40What is he doing?

00:42Oh, let me guess who's gonna be a big fat spider.

00:53Alright, it's time for your test.

00:55What does this mean? I don't know.

00:57Do you know what this is?

00:59Afraid not.

01:00What's wrong with this?

01:01No clue.

01:02What does this do?

01:03Beats me.

01:04Tell me what's missing here.

01:05Why?

01:06Because I asked you now! Answer one of these questions!

01:09Hey bro! Your girl is cheating!

01:13Jasmine or Maria?

01:16Uh, Maria.

01:19Maria H or Maria A?

01:21Maria C.

01:24The one with or without glasses?

01:26Huh?

01:27With!

01:29With or without braces?

01:31Without!

01:32Out!

01:33Damn, man.

01:34You can't trust girls these days.

01:42Cool Kid 445 donated $1,000.

01:47Yo chat!

01:48What game should we play?

01:49Go on my office.

01:54Okay.

01:55Okay, open the file.

01:57Did you see the window?

01:59Mmm, no.

02:00There's a window.

02:01Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:02Okay, open the window.

02:03Okay, okay, okay.

02:04Upload the file to the cloud.

02:05Ha ha ha.

02:17HA HA!

02:18Ha ha ha!

02:19I like ketchup but hate tomatoes now it's your turn and remember guys this

02:46house is at least 200 years old let's go check it out if there are any spirits with me today

02:55please show me a sign get the fuck out of my house did you hear that guys i think we have to stay

03:02another night okay i just finished playing with the ouija board and the spirit specifically told

03:07me not to go to the cemetery so i'm at the cemetery this is how you make my super easy

03:12two ingredient low calorie no bake no refrigerate no flour no sugar no gluten no egg no carb no fat

03:19no woman no crying no beans no greens no potatoes no tomatoes no lambs no rams no hogs no dogs no

03:24chicken no turkeys no rabbits you name it high protein peanut butter banana ode bar

03:29hey what are you doing oh i'm just watching something what are you watching i'm just watching

03:37youtube

03:46do you know why i pulled you over today sir because i was speeding

03:51first name frida last name go sir so you're free to go sir oh really oh thanks

04:01all right let's keep it simple no hidden meaning straight to the point

04:21john ate spaghetti for lunch now this next passage is particularly brilliant

04:27john ate spaghetti for lunch now spaghetti symbolizes the pain and

04:32who took the cookie from the cookie jar

04:36eric took the cookie from the cookie jar

04:40who me yes you could be then who john took the cookie from the cookie jar

04:47who me yes you they found out all right everybody on the floor

04:52one day at school my teacher told me that everybody has secrets so i went home and i told

04:59my mom i know your secret so she gave me twenty dollars and told me don't tell your father so

05:03i decided to push my luck and i went up to my dad and i was like dad i know your secret so

05:07he gave me fifty dollars and said don't tell your mother i get excited and i go to the store

05:11with the money i just got and i see the mailman outside so i go up to him and i tell him i know

05:14your secret the mailman says oh your mom told you come here son

05:18what am i wearing on my head um i found a bunch of these in my grandmother's closet and i thought

05:23they were like super cute and vintage did you know in the 20s they used to listen to music with

05:28these things yeah isn't it cool didn't even know oh i'm listening to doja cat you don't know who

05:35doja cat is i hate this generation i was born in the wrong generation no one understands me look at

05:41these new lights i got they're like super vintage everyone in the 20s had them it's not fair i hate

05:46school i wish we were in a global pandemic did you know the kids in the 20s got to like skip school

05:51for two whole years look how many more headbands i found in my grandmother's closet my presentation

05:56about the 20s is on an app called tick tock so tick tock was very popular during the 20s and

06:03there was this girl charlie d'amelio she was basically the icon of the

06:07wake up sir wake up it is time to wake up

06:16oh you think that the meat is just gonna fall out the sky and land on my face

06:33ha ain't happening keep scrolling buddy

06:36huh still here look nothing's gonna happen

06:42burn the witch

07:07burn the witch i know a spell that'll release all your goona search history

07:12release the witch

07:14tralalelo tralalala ballerina cappuccino chimpanzee banane

07:27bye

07:41hey come on man that's so easy

07:44what's this oh haha i think it's the wrong way round bro yo bro it's it's the wrong way round

07:51Yo, bro, it's the wrong way around.

07:55Bro, just flip it around, bro.

07:57Bro.

07:59Wow, he's so cool.

08:01He works out.

08:03I'm gonna poop my pants.

08:11What the?

08:13Oh, no.

08:15My arm.

08:17Hello?

08:18Wake up.

08:19Oh, no.

08:20My arm is dead.

08:21Oh, no.

08:22Oh, no.

08:31Oh, no.

08:48I can do it.

08:49I can do it.

08:50A poor boy lost his eye and his family couldn't afford a glass one, so he got a wooden eye at the school dance

08:57Sitting by herself was a girl with a bit of a big nose chillin

09:00The boy went over to her and asked would you like to dance and the girl replied would I?

09:04Would I the boy yelled back angrily big nose big nose?

09:10Help help what what my wallet what it's empty

09:20Oh

09:32Did you know the reason the sky is mostly black at night is not because people color it in every night with sharpies

09:38It is actually because there is no sunlight so the sky appears dark

09:43Come on dad

09:46Come on dad

09:50If chocolate is made from cocoa and

10:01Cocoa comes from a tree then

10:05Chocolate is basically a salad

10:10To get on roller coaster used to hear in a click will you put over your head?

10:15That's how you know you locked in

10:18Yeah

10:19Let's go

10:20Locked and loaded. I'm ready in Japan

10:21It wasn't no click it puts me. I can still move it. How's that you?

10:28Yeah, hey, I got no click my click. I got no click. Yeah, I look down my row some Japanese people in the aisle

10:35I was like yo, I ain't got no click this lady took a camera out

10:39I'm taking pictures. I'm like no this ain't time for that. This is not the time for that. This is serious

10:44Japanese guys walking back down the aisle I flagged him down. I'm like yo yo, I ain't got no click

10:49I ain't got no click my click

10:52Scariest moment of my life. He looked me in the eye. We locked eyes together. He goes

10:58So excited

11:00Oh

11:01So excited

11:04What'd you just say?

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