- yesterday
Episode name - Rockabye Maybe
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00:00Hi Ollie. Don't talk to him that way. He's horrible and I did not even let him attend
00:17Hinchy Fune. What? That's his brother. Only two people who didn't come up Hinchy Fune,
00:22you and Ollie. What is this? Does it not, does it not feel like him? You love this more than you
00:31love Ollie, don't you? Absolutely. Is it made of his hair? No. Buddy gave that to me at the funeral
00:36and I was so confused because Hinchy's ashes are there. So like I literally thought, did he call
00:42the vet and like retrieve the body? Then what's in there? Exactly. I was like, confusion. Oh,
00:50what a wonderful, thoughtful. Isn't it gorgeous? And I really do see. It's got his soul. It does.
00:56Unfortunately for Ashley, she was sick and missed out on Hinchy's funeral, but I am feeling so much
01:02better now that we have honored the big fat boy. And I'm very thankful to my friends that came and
01:07to Buddy for giving me this memento of Hinchy's life and making my taxidermied cat dreams come true.
01:14I brought, so I had, and they're not expired, um, some pregnancy tests that are not from the
01:21store where everything is a dollar. Yeah. Six days sooner than your missed period. So let me see
01:25what day I'm actually supposed to start my period. Hold on. Well, if it's any time within the next
01:29couple of days, it's okay to take it. I think it's tomorrow. Yeah, it's tomorrow.
01:34I was planning on taking a pregnancy test when my period was like obviously late because I've been
01:40trying not to get my hopes up. However, these are early indicator tests. So if I'm pregnant,
01:46this test should work. And hopefully it's the result that I'm looking for. Todd!
01:52You got to open his door. I'm about to go tell him about taking me a pregnancy test. Do I take
01:56two or just one? I would just take one to start. Now I actually, I'm not, it could be psychosomatic,
02:00but I did, uh, have some nausea and some vomiting, but you know, my first thing was boobs. How your
02:06boobs feel? No, I don't feel anything in my boobs. Do you? Oh, you got me. Oh, all right. Good luck.
02:17This is like a crazy moment. I'm so excited. Oh, Chelsea. So excited, but I feel very nervous.
02:24Like, I'm about to pee on this stick and I want the result to be a yes.
02:36Mommy's peeing on a stick.
02:39I'm trying to manage my expectations here because it is literally my first time trying artificial
02:45insemination, but I'm scared, especially with how expensive it is. Also in the back of my mind,
02:51I'm thinking, well, I tried this at the right time and I did it with intention. So what if it
02:57worked? I mean, it's waiting now. Okay. It's one to five minutes. Oh, hilarious. It does. It says
03:04unique stoplight tells you when enough samples. That's funny. Cause I barely peed at all. I didn't
03:09think it was going to be enough. Doesn't take much. Where's Todd? I don't know. Oh my God. Like
03:14what if Whitney is pregnant? I forgot about like just the excitement around taking pregnancy tests.
03:22I feel like it's like something we did in our twenties. You know, we're 40 now. I thought
03:26these days were over. Just the thought of having a little Whitney running around, like it's wild.
03:33So if I'm not pregnant, then I feel like I have to do a whole new redirection and I definitely
03:39cannot go further South. I'd have to go up North. I'd have to go like literally for just for climate.
03:43I could, there's no way I could ever live somewhere that's hotter than here. Why are you talking about
03:47moving? Because I just don't, I just, I don't want to be here. Honestly, I feel look, we don't have a
03:52friend group anymore. It's totally disintegrated. That's a little bit what happens when people start
03:56having kids. You will think it. Well, I thought it wouldn't. I thought surely I'll just have them in
04:01tow. You know how often you see me? No. Yeah. And I want to like be with my babies. See if I'm that way
04:05anyway, I don't even have a baby. I think Whitney so enjoys traveling and it like
04:13gives her this burst of, of energy. She thinks if she moves, that might be what it feels like all
04:21the time. But like, that is only going to last so long. And especially if she's going to have a baby,
04:26like I really want Whitney to just kind of stay put and have her support system. Like,
04:32are you really going to have a baby and just go gallivanting across the country,
04:36across the world? You want me to check the test or you want to go?
04:41It's been how long do we have to wait? One to five minutes. You can get it, but don't look at it
04:45until you get back. Don't look at it until I get back. Okay. Goosey, are you going to find out if
04:50you're going to have another little brother or sister? I think it's a sister. Oh, interesting.
04:55I kind of feel pregnant. Well, that's a sign.
05:02Ew, I'm holding something you peed on. I put the cap on.
05:06Ugh, I don't trust your flow.
05:08It is wild that
05:10I could literally already be pregnant
05:13with my own son or daughter right now. Like,
05:17the way my life could literally just be turned completely
05:21upside down in a matter of moments. There is no moment
05:24like this. Ever.
05:26Okay, I'm going to count down from three.
05:28You ready? Okay. Wait, three, two, one, show
05:30or three, two, one?
05:32Or three, two, show? Three, two, one, show.
05:34But I probably won't say show. I'll just move my hand.
05:37Hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
05:40This is my last moment as a not-mother.
05:43Todd?
05:45Huh? Come on in here.
05:47You're about to become an uncle.
05:49Well, unless you're somebody with an ultrasound that's going to show me, like,
05:51a face, then I'm not going to believe it.
05:53All right.
05:53Okay, wait. No, no, no, no, wait. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready.
05:56It's very strange. I've taken so many pregnancy tests in life,
05:58and I have never in my life felt excited.
06:00I've always wanted it to be negative.
06:01It's always been dreaded.
06:02And now I want it to be positive.
06:03And I just can't even believe, like, we know the answer.
06:05And it's already done. Do you know what I'm saying?
06:06It's not like it hasn't happened. Like, it's already done.
06:08I'm either pregnant or I'm not.
06:09Look at Wanda! Wanda is ready for the results.
06:12I am, too.
06:14Okay.
06:15Okay. Yeah. All right. Are we ready?
06:18Yeah.
06:18You can't see with your eyes closed.
06:20I'm going to open them.
06:21All right.
06:23Three, two, one.
06:36Not.
06:38Are you okay?
06:39Yeah.
06:39But see, I think this is such a great experience to reinforce how badly you want this.
06:46Again, look how much hope you obviously had, or you wouldn't be disappointed.
06:49Exactly.
06:50And I know you, when you want something badly, you will make it happen.
06:55And there are so many different ways to go about it, and you have some...
06:59But I don't feel like I have more time, and I don't feel like I have any other ways.
07:03Well, that's just not the truth.
07:04I feel like this is it.
07:04I feel like this is it.
07:05A lot can happen.
07:06I was really, really hoping that my life was going to change in this moment, and I was
07:16going to find out, you know, that I was going to become a mom.
07:20And unfortunately, it's like life's just the same as it was 10 minutes ago.
07:26I'm still single, still not pregnant, still not really happy in general, like, with where
07:34I am in life.
07:38So.
07:41Yeah, it's just back to the drawing board.
07:44There's still time.
07:57Oh, arms out.
07:58Oh, my God, that was so good.
08:00How many times did you try before you got it?
08:03Three.
08:06Why are you not falling flat?
08:08It's like you're just doing too much.
08:11What are you trying to do?
08:12We're trying to bounce on the ball.
08:14I can do that.
08:15Let's see it.
08:16Bounce on it.
08:17All right, that's probably good.
08:19Oh, yes.
08:20Yes.
08:21Gorgeous.
08:22Yes.
08:23Go, bitch.
08:24Wow.
08:26Yes.
08:27Should I try?
08:28Please.
08:28Do it, Whitney.
08:28Please show me up.
08:30I can't even fall on it.
08:31One thing I won't be doing is trying to hurl myself over a medicine ball for everyone else's
08:36enjoyment.
08:37I will not.
08:38What you're supposed to do is go all the way up, get back into a handstand, spin around,
08:42and then do it again.
08:43So I'm going to take it that you're not pregnant.
08:47No.
08:47Doing that.
08:48No.
08:48All right.
08:49What about you?
08:49No.
08:49I know trying to conceive when you've tried and it hasn't worked out can be, like, really
08:56daunting.
08:57And honestly, it kind of makes you feel really lonely and scared.
09:01But I hope Whitney doesn't give up after her first try.
09:04I still have two vials left.
09:06Are you going to do them yourself or are you going to go to the doctor?
09:09The only reason I say I feel like maybe you should go to the doctor is because I feel like
09:12they know where to put it.
09:14Well, it's only so many places where I can go.
09:16No, no, but, like, the fertility clinic here is great.
09:19When they insert it, they know exactly where to insert it to.
09:21And I think it wouldn't hurt to just let them dry.
09:24Just go to the doctor.
09:24Yeah, you're right.
09:26I purchased three vials of sperm and it was extremely exorbitantly expensive.
09:32For my next try, I'm going to have the doctor try to inseminate me because I think that is
09:38going to give me the best chance possible of getting pregnant.
09:41Hopefully, I'll have no need to even think.
09:44About trying a third time.
09:46I hate to tell Ashley this, but, uh, the womb preparation ceremony was hor-
09:51Oh, no.
09:52The things that we did and I didn't get no baby out of it.
09:55Okay, so I looked it up.
09:57There are way more spells and things that we can do.
10:00So this is how I feel.
10:01We take a girl's trip.
10:03Okay.
10:04I like it already.
10:05We take a girl's trip and I've already planned the whole thing.
10:06Okay.
10:07We go to Boston first.
10:08Ruth from Pineapple, well, she had said that I should go up to see Boston Ballet.
10:12Oh, okay.
10:13Okay.
10:14So I-
10:14Is that like a fancy affair?
10:15Girl, please.
10:16Oh, okay.
10:17The ballet.
10:18So we can dress up?
10:19Yes.
10:19It's like going to the opera or something.
10:20Yeah.
10:21Okay.
10:22Then we rent a car.
10:23Okay.
10:24And we drive over to Salem, the home of witchcraft.
10:27Okay.
10:27We do some witch s**t.
10:28Hell yeah.
10:29We do a real spell.
10:30Hell yeah.
10:31Now, these two girls, I don't know them in real life, but I've talked to them on the phone
10:33before.
10:34Corinne and Sabrina, and they do this podcast and they're like baby witches.
10:38And so I'm going to ask them, are they free?
10:40And do they want to hang out?
10:41Oh my gosh.
10:42This is all planned out.
10:43Shut up.
10:44Because we got to get rid of our coochie haint.
10:47Okay.
10:48While I was at Pineapple Dance Studios in London, I took a ballet class for the first
10:52time in 22 years, and the instructor, Ruth, suggested that I should go up to Boston and
10:57see the Boston Ballet.
10:58It would be perfect.
10:59It would be a new experience, a new city, a new state, things to explore.
11:04It'll be just what I need.
11:07You said girls trip.
11:07Who's going?
11:09Me, you.
11:10Reckon we should invite Ashley, but as long as we tell her she's not the one doing
11:12the spells no more.
11:13Yeah, no.
11:13She is returned from the spells.
11:15It's a haint, bitch.
11:19Oh my God.
11:20This is a dream come true.
11:21Is this a yes?
11:21Yes.
11:24My secret passion is that I learn witchcraft.
11:28If anyone knows me, then they know that I'm way into all things magic.
11:32So I can't wait to get to Salem and maybe see some ghosts, maybe get a haint.
11:37I don't know.
11:38We'll see.
11:39All right.
11:40I got a client.
11:41I'll see y'all later.
11:42We'll keep you updated on the children thing.
11:44So Isaiah has a friend that he knows from college that is looking to meet somebody.
11:51Would you be interested in going on a double date?
11:53Is he cute?
11:54I don't know.
11:54I've never met him.
11:55Is he smart?
11:56I don't know.
11:56I've never met him.
11:57Well, I won't have time to go on the date because we'll be in Boston.
12:00We're going to go before you go to Boston, first of all.
12:02Why not?
12:04Just who cares?
12:05Whitney.
12:06What?
12:06I'm about to text Isaiah.
12:08What day would you want to go on a date?
12:10I don't.
12:11Well, okay.
12:11What day are you free?
12:12I'm not.
12:14Okay.
12:14Well, I'll plan it and I'll just let you know when to be there.
12:16All right.
12:17I'm about to text Isaiah now.
12:18A date in itself is bad enough and then a blind date, I don't have high hopes, but I
12:26also don't want to let Isaiah down.
12:27And I know it might seem a little weird that I'm going to go on a date while I'm actively
12:32inseminating.
12:32However, I don't want to waste time, you know, where I could be meeting somebody, maybe.
12:37So I'm just going to do them at the same time and be efficient.
12:42And if I end up with a baby and a man at the same time, well, I'll cross that bridge
12:45when I get to it.
12:46I'm not making any more decisions in life.
12:49I have a trip to plan.
12:54Guess who had made your ficus?
12:56Uh...
12:57Me and Tal.
12:59Yeah, we got into it too.
13:00But...
13:01Y'all got into it.
13:03Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:04Oh my God, give it to me.
13:06You said, man.
13:07Woo!
13:16Goosey smell flowers.
13:24Goosey smell flowers.
13:26Oh, Goosey smells Buddy.
13:29Look who it is.
13:30Hello.
13:31It's Uncle Buddy.
13:33Hi, little sweet.
13:34What you doing?
13:35She just sweet is everything.
13:36I know.
13:37I was in town visiting my mom and texted Whitney to meet up.
13:40After Hensley's funeral, I realized that, like, I don't know anything that's going on anymore.
13:45I live so far away.
13:47Goosey!
13:48This is Goosey's first, like, spring park walk.
13:51Courtney still have Scout?
13:53Well, I guess do y'all still have Scout?
13:55Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:56Yeah, we have Scout.
13:57It's a handful.
13:58Do you and Courtney have any, like, plans to have kids?
14:01Yeah, yeah.
14:02Oh, yeah?
14:02But, yeah, we're just in a one-bedroom right now, so...
14:04But are you trying?
14:07Are you actively not trying, or are you just seeing what happens?
14:09Our main focus right now, though, is getting out of the one-bedroom and into at least a two-bedroom house.
14:14Right.
14:14You going to stay in Southern Pines?
14:16Southern Pines are closer.
14:17She just got a job in West End.
14:19Oh, she got another job?
14:20Yeah.
14:20She is doing, like, the interior design for homes.
14:22Oh, that's cool.
14:23That's amazing.
14:24Working with a builder.
14:25Yeah.
14:25Huh.
14:26Isn't that interesting?
14:28It's like everybody's trying...
14:29Well, I don't know.
14:29Everybody's trying to have a baby, but Jessica and Isaiah are...
14:32trying still.
14:33Oh, yeah.
14:34Especially at the funeral.
14:36Jessica and I both, we were hoping that we were maybe pregnant, but we're not.
14:41I've been artificially inseminating.
14:45Oh.
14:46It's crazy.
14:47It comes in, like, a nitrogen tank.
14:49That's huge.
14:49It's, like, this big.
14:50But the vials of the actual material are this big.
14:53Yeah.
14:54Yeah.
14:55That's what I do for work now is I deliver stuff like that.
14:59Oh, my God.
14:59And I thought...
15:00No, yeah.
15:01I was like, it...
15:02Oh, fuck.
15:02It pays well.
15:03You're just a donor.
15:04No.
15:05So you do what?
15:07No, I just move medical samples and stuff like that.
15:09So, like, big, like, nitrogen containers and stuff like that.
15:12So you travel...
15:13Oh, my God.
15:14I'm so mad that you didn't deliver my sperm.
15:16I wish you had.
15:17That would have...
15:17You used to deliver me pizza.
15:18It's usually the, like, labs and stuff.
15:19Well, I was going to say, you used to deliver me pizza years ago.
15:22I wish you had delivered my sperm.
15:23Oh, God.
15:23That would have been hysterical to me.
15:25It is hilarious to me that 12 years ago, Buddy was delivering me a pizza.
15:30Hey.
15:30Hey, Buddy.
15:31Bryson's ah.
15:32You knew I was hungry.
15:33Voila.
15:35What do you mean?
15:36Little pet.
15:36And today, he could potentially be delivering me sperm.
15:40Things really come full circle.
15:43I'll clue you in on everything else since we haven't caught up in so long.
15:47Guess who had major ficus?
15:49Uh, who?
15:50Me and Tal.
15:51Oh, really?
15:53Because he and Ashley had a big falling out, like, a year and a half ago.
15:55Mm-hmm.
15:56Well, he was at my house, and I told him I was about to see Ashley, and he lost his mind.
16:01Well, then, we did come together and have a talk, and then I felt really bad for him,
16:06because he was talking about his mental health isn't doing good.
16:08Mm-hmm.
16:08He was, like, not in a place.
16:15Yeah, we got into it, too.
16:17But let's see.
16:18You got into it?
16:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:20Yeah.
16:20Ooh.
16:21Yeah.
16:22When?
16:23And about what?
16:25Eh, politics.
16:27Oh, my God.
16:28Give it to me.
16:29I'll just say it.
16:30So what?
16:31He just attacked your political beliefs, but how?
16:33That's what got to me, is, like, how he did it.
16:36What?
16:36He didn't like what you were posting on your social medias?
16:38Yeah, I guess so.
16:40He inquired, like, out of a place of concern, quote, unquote, but then also called me unhinged.
16:49I know that I told him that, but he said he was worried for my, uh...
16:52Pull up the text.
16:54Well, we'll just see here.
16:56Oh, my God.
16:57Yeah.
16:57A couple of months ago, I posted something political.
17:01Tal disagreed, and he kind of came at me personally, I think.
17:06But everyone's entitled to their own opinion, just because we disagree.
17:10Doesn't make me unhinged.
17:12So, I went at him.
17:15So.
17:16It went from, hope you're good, hope you're good.
17:20To you're unhinged.
17:22He starts off with, I have no desire to argue with you.
17:24Okay.
17:25Right, but then, so...
17:26I worry about what this material meant to help.
17:28He said, let me remind you that sobriety does not equal recovery.
17:32Oh.
17:33Actually, yes, it does.
17:34That's the whole thing.
17:35Oh.
17:37off.
17:38Who said that?
17:39You did.
17:41Oh, yeah, yeah, probably.
17:42You said unhinged.
17:44off, man.
17:46What?
17:46Yeah, right.
17:47You said, maybe you need some more training.
17:51Because he's still a therapist, right?
17:52Yeah.
17:53So, he has no idea how to talk to people.
17:56Buddy!
17:56Yeah.
17:57No, this is sad.
17:58I go hard.
17:59I go hard.
18:00Don't come for me.
18:00Well, what the f***?
18:01What were you all doing at the funeral?
18:03You looked fine.
18:04I didn't notice anything.
18:05We didn't f*** each other.
18:06Well, I mean, I did say that his thing was nice, his eulogy.
18:10I did not even notice.
18:13Lord Jesus.
18:14Now, I did not know that any of this was happening.
18:17So much ficus.
18:18So, now Tal and Ashley are on the outs, and Tal and Buddy are not really good, either.
18:26It is some s***.
18:27God bless him.
18:28He's been through it.
18:29And I'm not saying that Tal said that because he's not well right now.
18:32Like, I don't want to delegitimize his feelings or anything like that.
18:35But I don't think that, like, extra conflict is helping.
18:39Would you want to, like, talk to him at least?
18:41He said he would have talked to Ashley.
18:43I bet he'd talk to you.
18:44If you want, I'll ask him.
18:45Yeah, I mean, I'm certainly down to put it behind us as if he is.
18:50After seeing him at the funeral the other night, it was kind of like, eh, we can get over this, right?
18:54We can get past this.
18:55Oh, my.
18:55Well, I would just hate to leave it on, like, a wall to you, you know?
18:58Yeah, yeah.
18:58I don't want to do it with anybody.
19:01I'd be happy to talk to Tal.
19:03You know, you get to an age where it's just, you know, life's too short.
19:06What are we doing?
19:07So, I'd love to talk to him, clear the air, agree to disagree.
19:12We can be grown-ups again.
19:14I don't know.
19:15To me, everything is different now.
19:17And, again, like, I'm not going to sit here and be like, we all need to be friends because, like, we're not all friends anymore.
19:21We're not, like, I have people I'm not friends with anymore.
19:23I think that's okay.
19:24I think we have to be okay with, like, knowing that people change, friendships change, dynamics change.
19:29I don't know.
19:31If Buddy is willing and open to talking to Tal, then I think they ought to do it.
19:36But I care about both of them.
19:38And I'm hoping that if they meet up and talk, they can at least get some sort of peace about the situation.
19:45And if they will let me mediate, then I say we have a meeting.
19:50God, what you think, Goose?
19:52You want to go explore?
19:53Yeah, Goosey's like, we came to the park and now we've decided, okay, let's go.
19:56Let's go explore, Goosey.
19:57She was looking judgmental at me a second ago.
20:00I'm sorry, Goosey.
20:01We didn't do enough walking.
20:02I'm sorry, girl.
20:03I just don't love being here.
20:05You know what I mean?
20:05Well, where will you be going?
20:06I really love London.
20:08Well, you need to figure out.
20:09How much money does it take to move to London?
20:11First of all, you need to have a job in London.
20:13Well, I bet pineapple would give me a job.
20:34Whitney.
20:36Hey.
20:37Hey, honey.
20:37What you doing?
20:39Well, I'm just cleaning out some of the stuff that I don't need and not a word for these
20:45chairs.
20:46When was the last time you saw a chair this nice?
20:48These were better than the ones you had.
20:50You feel supported, but then your fat can spill out the side, see?
20:54So you feel contained, but you're also liberated.
20:56I have to say, my normal urge to purge, clean, organize has gone into overdrive recently.
21:04I think this is a very common experience.
21:06You know, it's typical midlife crisis stuff, but I just feel an urgency to do something
21:10different.
21:11Well, you know, I was working out with Jessica, and she told me that you guys were going on
21:17a double date.
21:19Well, and I didn't want to do it.
21:21Well, I mean, you ought to give it a try.
21:23I know, but not only have I never seen him and don't know anything about him, but he'd
21:27never seen me, don't know nothing about me.
21:29And one thing I know about me is that men are repulsed by me, and the other thing I know
21:34about me is that I'm very picky.
21:35So I don't think there's a good chance any way.
21:40You're never going to develop a relationship or get a relationship unless you try.
21:44You know, over the years, Whitney's had a lot of issues trying to find the right person,
21:48but she's never going to be able to find somebody unless she takes some chances.
21:53And I think Whitney needs to go into these opportunities on a more positive note.
21:59Like the old saying, I think you catch more flies with honey than you do with a vinegar.
22:05Having a date at this point, does that complicate your getting pregnant ambitions?
22:12Well, so I do already know that I'm not pregnant, unfortunately.
22:18Neither is Jess.
22:20Well, I was sort of getting excited about the possibilities.
22:23And if you did, you could really do a good job with a nursery.
22:31I guess I am feeling pretty dejected about not being pregnant.
22:35Seeing my dad actually excited about it, like, really makes me feel like I just failed.
22:42I don't want to wallow in it, but it's bringing up, like, a lot of feelings for me.
22:50You know, I've got that bed I spent so much time on for Hunter up in the attic.
22:55The crib?
22:57Baby bed, yeah.
22:58Oh, my God.
23:00Bring it over.
23:01And it's got the canopy on it.
23:02Bring it over.
23:03Hunter, I want to see that.
23:05You know how many hours I spent on that thing?
23:07I can't imagine.
23:08A hundred.
23:09Over a thousand.
23:10You're joking.
23:11Every weekend.
23:12You were doing that at your mom's whole pregnancy?
23:14Yeah.
23:16Not sure how I feel.
23:19You know, I was getting excited about having a grandbaby again.
23:23I even pulled Hunter's old baby bed that I made out of the attic and dusted it off just in case.
23:29So it's an up and down emotion.
23:31But more than anything, I don't want to see Whitney disappointed.
23:37Goosey!
23:38Dad, she is in there eating henchy.
23:41Oh, my God.
23:43Ma'am, uh-uh, now that is not toy.
23:46Ma'am!
23:48And I told her, get uh-uh!
23:52Like a shark smelling blood in the water.
23:54And I told her that he was not a pet of hers.
23:58And feel his fur, wet with saliva.
24:01She was just-
24:01Get off of him!
24:03Goosey!
24:04My God.
24:06Anyway, part of me thinks I shouldn't have spent all this money on all this stuff.
24:09Because I might not be here much longer.
24:11What do you mean not like?
24:12I don't mean on the earth.
24:13I mean in this house.
24:15Well, where will you be going?
24:17Well, I don't know.
24:17Maybe I need a change in life.
24:19Maybe I want to be somewhere.
24:21Be somebody.
24:22Do something.
24:23If that's what makes you happy, I'm all for it.
24:26And I'd go back to my house.
24:28No.
24:29Anyway, this is a big if.
24:30Who knows?
24:31I'm just saying.
24:31I don't-
24:32I just don't love being here.
24:34You know what I mean?
24:35You don't.
24:36I mean, I love you.
24:37Well.
24:37I have so much fun when I'm away.
24:41And like, I really, I really love London.
24:44Well, you need to figure out-
24:45How much money does it take to move to London?
24:47Well, first of all, you need to have a job in London.
24:50Well, I bet Pineapple would give me a job.
24:52Well, you need to work all that out before you decide to-
24:55Well, I know, but I'm just saying.
24:57And I'd be living in like a little apartment.
25:00Who knows what I want to do?
25:02I feel like I love the accents and I love the men.
25:05And I already have friends there.
25:07I think as a parent, one of the worst things that you deal with is your children not being happy.
25:14I don't want her to feel like she needs to stay in Greensboro just to look after me.
25:17I don't need her support like I once did.
25:20But the idea of moving someplace far away, like London, that's a big move.
25:25So I hope she's not taking it too lightly.
25:33Ready for my matchmaking skills?
25:35No.
25:36Is he in there now?
25:37No, not yet.
25:37Oh, Lord.
25:38Jesus.
25:39Going out with someone that you have literally never seen and sounds like the most horrible thing I can possibly think of.
25:44Oh, he's here.
25:46Do I?
25:46Okay, let's just do I stand up?
25:47Let's not be awkward.
25:48John, what's up, my friend?
26:07Hi.
26:07Hi.
26:08Hi.
26:09Hi.
26:10Hi.
26:10Hi.
26:11You guys are so beautiful.
26:12I can't.
26:13Oh, Whitney.
26:14So are you.
26:14No.
26:15It's so nice to actually talk to you and, like, hear your voice and your face.
26:19I know.
26:19I know.
26:20It's weird to feel like we're friends, but I've never met in person now.
26:23I didn't know that we were going to be moving on to a FaceTime, so I'm like, oh, my God, it's, like, getting official, right?
26:28Big steps in our relationship.
26:29A few years ago, I started listening to this podcast called Two Girls, One Ghost.
26:36It's hosted by these two amazing women, Sabrina and Corinne, and it's just, like, witchy stuff, paranormal stuff, spooky stuff, like, all the stuff that I love.
26:47So not long ago, I actually reached out to them online, and we've just become really friendly, but we've never FaceTimed until now.
26:55Um, the reason I was calling is basically, like, I'm going up to Boston.
26:59I'm going to be there next week.
27:01I'm bringing my friends, and none of us have ever really been to Boston.
27:04You're going to work out?
27:05Yeah, it's going to be, yeah.
27:06I was thinking, like, you know, what am I going to do?
27:08Do I know anybody up there or whatever?
27:10And immediately I was like, oh, my God, Corinne and Sabrina are there.
27:12Oh, my God, I have to try to meet them if you want to.
27:15Be there.
27:15Yes!
27:16Oh, my God.
27:17And where are y'all?
27:18Okay, we are, like, 40 minutes north of Boston, right next to Salem.
27:23Oh, you're right next to Salem.
27:25Yeah.
27:26Oh, fun.
27:27If you want recommendations for Salem, we don't have them written down.
27:30They just exist in our mind.
27:31Right.
27:32We could also be your tour guides.
27:35Salem is known as, like, witch city.
27:37I mean, it has all of the stuff that I'm into.
27:40And now I also get to meet my two favorite podcasters, who I hope will become my best friends.
27:44And I'm so excited.
27:46Do you want to get into the witchy stuff when you're here?
27:48Oh, duh.
27:49No, all of it.
27:50Like, take me to hell.
27:52I mean, you just, like, struck a chord in my mind.
27:56Be careful what you wish.
27:58I know.
27:58God.
27:59Should we all get together and do a seon?
28:01Yes.
28:01Absolutely.
28:02Oh, my.
28:02We've never done one before, either.
28:04Oh, you haven't?
28:05We're, like, seeking this out to learn about it because we are, like, baby witches and we're
28:08trying to learn about all of these different practices and see what feels right.
28:11And so this will be new for us, too.
28:13Oh, my God.
28:14I'm so excited.
28:16I need this.
28:17I love to travel.
28:18And I just, I spent a lot of time in London recently and I had the best time.
28:22And then I came home.
28:22Like, every time I come home from traveling, I'm just like, oh, my God.
28:25Like, what is this?
28:27What is, what is Greensboro?
28:28I just feel so, ugh, bored and stagnant.
28:32I am so excited.
28:33Thank you so much for all the ideas.
28:35It's really cool to find people with, like, similar interests and I get to travel somewhere
28:40and learn about the history.
28:42I just feel, like, really excited about something new in life to sink my teeth into.
28:49I'm so glad that you're just as nice on the phone as you are on my, on my phone also,
28:56but on your podcast.
28:58I will see you guys so soon.
29:00Amazing.
29:00Perfect.
29:00Okay, thanks.
29:01See you in Salem.
29:02Okay, bye.
29:03Bye.
29:04Bye.
29:04Bye.
29:04Bye.
29:05I can't walk.
29:22Well, you might have to run.
29:23My quads are so sore.
29:25She did four ribs.
29:26I did not.
29:27I did 12.
29:28Ooh, all brown.
29:29Y'all look pretty.
29:32Hey, my love.
29:33Hey, baby.
29:33Hello, my love.
29:36How are you doing?
29:37Good.
29:38You ready for my matchmaking skills?
29:39No.
29:40Is he in there now?
29:41No, not yet.
29:42Oh, Lord.
29:42Jesus.
29:43I don't know how this started exactly, but I think Isaiah is now fashioning himself as
29:48some sort of, like, love doctor matchmaker, and he's got me out here on this double date
29:53with him and Jess and his friend, John, that he wants me to go out with, and honestly,
29:58I don't think I care about disappointing John, but a big part of me just, like, doesn't
30:02want to disappoint Isaiah.
30:04I almost didn't come.
30:05What?
30:06We have to try.
30:07You miss every shot you don't shoot.
30:09Jess shot for me.
30:10She saw you, though.
30:11I don't know who this is.
30:12Let's go.
30:13Nobody told me I look nice or nothing.
30:15I already told you when y'all walked up.
30:18Going out with someone that you have literally never seen and who literally has never seen
30:21you sounds like the most horrible thing I can possibly think of, and honestly, my mind
30:26is just not on this blind date right now.
30:28I'm still thinking about trying to get pregnant, and it feels weird to do this.
30:31We're not expecting another guest, right?
30:33Yep, we are.
30:34We are?
30:34We are.
30:34We are.
30:34Or else I'm getting stood out tonight.
30:36Wouldn't be a first, but...
30:37You should be here shortly.
30:38So here's the mania.
30:39The PTSD is real.
30:42Whitney, relax.
30:45Whitney's dating life has been such a struggle, so I'm really glad that we can help her get back
30:48out there.
30:49Plus, it'll be nice for Isaiah and I to get out, too.
30:51I've just been working and missing my dad so much, so I think it's good for me to get out of
30:56the house and do something.
30:58So tell us about this guy.
30:59What do we need to know about him?
31:01He, uh, he's a realtor.
31:02How'd you meet him?
31:03College.
31:03I thought y'all would be a good match.
31:06Just because he has a heartbeat or...
31:07Yeah.
31:09Say it.
31:09And he said, yeah.
31:12God.
31:13I'm just kidding.
31:14Whitney really wants a man, but she's been striking out left and right.
31:17If this works out, they really need to call me the love doctor, because I got the cure.
31:23Oh, by the way, there is no talk of the fact that I am currently inseminating and dating.
31:30Mmm.
31:31Have you decided when a good time would be to discuss that?
31:34If I'm being honest, I don't assume I'm going to meet anybody, so I'm not even thinking about
31:38that.
31:39Well, you're meeting somebody tonight.
31:40Well, you're about to meet somebody tonight.
31:41Who wants to see me again?
31:42I'm just saying.
31:43I like John.
31:46It's only one way to find a man of your dreams.
31:48I wish I felt more confident, but honestly, I am incredibly picky with men that I can see.
31:54So knowing that I'm going out on a date with a man that I haven't seen makes me feel like
31:59the rate of success is going to be very low.
32:02So are you going to get another cat?
32:05Or a dog.
32:06Why don't you get another dog?
32:07No.
32:08Or a baby.
32:08Well, you might have a baby on the way.
32:10I won't say it no more once he gets here.
32:14Oh, I thought you said, I won't say it no more.
32:16That's him.
32:16But I was like, what?
32:18No, that is.
32:19No, shut up.
32:19Is he walking in?
32:20Yeah.
32:21Oh, he's here.
32:22Yep.
32:23Oh, Lord Jesus.
32:24Here we go.
32:25I do not want to be here or do this.
32:27Do I?
32:28Okay, let's see.
32:28Do I stand up?
32:29Let's not be awkward.
32:29John, what's up, my friend?
32:38Oh, he's here.
32:40Do I?
32:40Okay, let's see.
32:41Do I stand up?
32:41Let's not be awkward.
32:42John, what's up, my friend?
32:43Good to see you.
32:44This is Whitney.
32:44Hi.
32:45Whitney, John.
32:46You too.
32:46This is my wife, Jessica.
32:47Jessica, nice to meet you.
32:48Jessica, this is John.
32:49Nice to meet you, John.
32:51Have a seat.
32:53I haven't been on a date in a very long time.
32:55I have to be honest, I'm happier that it's a double date
32:57because at least Jessica and Isaiah will be here.
33:00And maybe that'll help ease some of the awkward tension
33:02that I'm sure John and I are going to feel.
33:06It's so wonderful to meet you.
33:07I've heard a lot of great things.
33:09Oh, really?
33:10See?
33:12I don't know if I would trust Isaiah, honestly.
33:14Would you?
33:16I don't know.
33:16I don't know.
33:17You never know what's going to come out of Isaiah.
33:17You trust me with your life.
33:19You already gave it away.
33:20You are Jessica's emergency contact,
33:22and that's terrifying.
33:22Yeah.
33:23It is so.
33:23Yeah.
33:23I met Isaiah in undergrad, and we've kept in touch here and there over the years,
33:28but it had been a while since we last talked, so when he called me up for this blind date,
33:31I was kind of taken by surprise, but I figured I only have one life.
33:34Might as well live it and just see where things go.
33:36So, do you have any brothers or sisters?
33:41I actually have two half-sisters, quite a bit older than me.
33:45Actually, I think one's going on 50 right now.
33:48Oh.
33:48Did you grow up around here?
33:50Born and raised.
33:51I went to Grimsley and then went to UNCG.
33:53Oh, okay.
33:54Yeah.
33:54I actually studied kinesiology.
33:56Oh, very cool.
33:57Yeah.
33:57We have a fitness app.
33:58We do.
33:58We have a fitness app.
34:00So.
34:01Usually, when Whitney feels awkward, she, like, doesn't shut up and tends to overshare,
34:07but right now in this moment, she's not saying anything, and it's so weird.
34:12I can't date this guy for you.
34:13You okay?
34:16Mm-hmm.
34:17What's wrong?
34:17Nothing.
34:18Okay.
34:19I got to be honest.
34:21He is perfectly nice.
34:23It's not that I find him unattractive or anything like that, but I do not feel excited.
34:27I do not feel confident.
34:29I just feel absolutely nothing, and that's not a good sign.
34:33So, what sports did you play?
34:35For, like, the past seven or eight years, I've really been into badminton.
34:38Oh.
34:38I actually love badminton.
34:40Do you really?
34:40I do.
34:41Look, I just have, like, I've got a, oh, in my cart.
34:43Hold on.
34:44I'll show you.
34:45Stop.
34:46I've got a net and a.
34:48No comment.
34:49Okay.
34:50Where are you putting that?
34:51I don't know.
34:51I thought I'd put it in the backyard.
34:53She comes to our badminton club.
34:55Oh, you have a badminton club?
34:56Typically, we play, like, five times a week.
34:58I mean, we have some really competitive people there.
35:00I didn't really see it as being, like, a competitive thing, but I'm a very competitive person.
35:03Do you have any beginners who do that?
35:05There are some beginners.
35:06There are some beginners.
35:07It would get spicy in there.
35:08Yeah.
35:11I think if anyone has badminton in common, then they should probably give it a chance
35:16because I've never known anyone to be into badminton than these two seem to be.
35:21I think that that's a sign that maybe there could be something there.
35:24So do you travel a lot?
35:26What's been your top three favorite places?
35:28Spain.
35:29Maybe Switzerland.
35:30Honestly, Alaska.
35:31I loved Alaska so much.
35:33I feel like I would hate the cold.
35:35Are you hot-natured or cold-natured?
35:37I prefer the heat.
35:37I'm always, like...
35:38I'm going to tell you right now, it's been really nice to meet you, John.
35:43No, but tell him I'm not lying.
35:45I am such a hot...
35:47She is.
35:47We're the same way, though.
35:49The house is always the temperature you wanted.
35:50When I see Alondra Ray show up at the house, I'm like, for what?
35:53The baby-making outfits.
35:55Okay.
35:55They're trying for a baby currently.
35:58Have you been married?
35:59No.
36:00No.
36:01Do you want kids?
36:02Eventually.
36:03I feel like maybe a couple years.
36:05Yeah.
36:05Maybe three or four years.
36:07I've even thought about adopting.
36:09That's great.
36:11What if you met somebody who already had a kid?
36:13You would, like, be interested in adopting their kid?
36:15It just really depends on the situation, you know?
36:17Just see how it goes.
36:18See how things unfold.
36:20How long have y'all been married?
36:21Four years?
36:22Almost three.
36:23But we met almost ten years ago.
36:25Wow.
36:26That was like when I met Whitney, too.
36:28All of us.
36:30I met both of y'all because of Dad.
36:32Mm-hmm.
36:39Just as Dad just passed away, like, a month ago.
36:42Oh, I'm sorry.
36:44Today's been really hard.
36:45I'm sorry.
36:46I'm sorry.
36:47I'm going to go to the bathroom real quick.
36:48I'll be right back.
36:49Okay.
36:52We'll go.
36:54Yeah, she's always followed in his footsteps.
36:57So it's been tough.
36:58I just don't want to do this anymore.
37:07I don't want to do it without him.
37:09Oh, no.
37:10This is just...
37:11I just want my daddy back.
37:12I've seen Jessica like this before in private, but for her to be like this in public, it means it's really, really bad.
37:20And I feel so awful for her.
37:23Today's just been one of those days.
37:24Feels like your whole center of gravity is gone.
37:27Yeah.
37:27Yeah.
37:30You know how they say that grief comes in waves?
37:32And right now, tonight, it's just hit Jessica like a tsunami.
37:35I do know that you're going to get through it, and this is one thing that I actually do know from experience, you know?
37:43Yeah.
37:44And one day, it's going to feel lighter, and you're not going to feel this, how am I going to survive?
37:50That is going to pass.
37:52Okay.
37:52My dad was...
37:55He was my best friend.
37:57I just can't believe he's gone.
38:00I don't know.
38:01I just miss him a lot.
38:04It just seems really up there.
38:08You are doing so good.
38:09I know you don't feel like it, but you are.
38:13All right.
38:14I love you.
38:14I love you, too.
38:15As absolutely average as this date has been, I do not want to torture my friend by having to sit through this any longer while she's dealing with these emotions.
38:28Yeah.
38:31Well, I hate to do it, but I think I'm ready to go home.
38:33Yeah, girl.
38:33Let's go.
38:34Sorry, this is the note we're ending on.
38:36No, it's okay.
38:37You can tell John's a sensitive guy.
38:39He doesn't care.
38:40I appreciate that.
38:41I think Whitney's a really lovely person, but I don't know if the chemistry was quite there, but I'm willing to give everything a second try, and maybe it'll play out differently if it's one-on-one instead of in a double-date situation.
38:53Which way are you?
38:54I parked over at the parking garage.
38:56Well, it was so nice to meet you.
38:58It was great to meet you.
38:58I'm a hugger.
38:59Okay.
39:00Very nice to meet you.
39:01Thank you for coming.
39:01Nice to meet you.
39:02Yeah.
39:02All right.
39:02Bye.
39:04All right.
39:04You want to go this way?
39:05Yeah.
39:06John does seem great.
39:08It was actually better than so many dates could have gone that I do owe it to, like, give it another chance and maybe do something fun and see how it goes.
39:17Well, he was perfectly nice.
39:19No, he was great.
39:20I liked him.
39:20Very nice.
39:21I would hang out with him again.
39:22Yeah.
39:23I feel like with everything going on in everyone's lives right now, we could really all use a break, and this trip to Boston and Salem literally cannot come soon enough.
39:35Well, thank you.
39:35I appreciate that.
39:37It was nice.
39:39Here we come, witches.
39:40Next time on My Big Fat Fabulous Life.
39:43We're channeling demons, Angie.
39:45We're not calling demons.
39:47Diamonds.
39:48No, it's not demons.
39:52Corinne and Sabrina have agreed to show us all the spooky stuff around Salem.
39:56If there are any spirits here and you would like to introduce yourselves.
39:59Are you looking for me?
40:01I don't know.
40:02There's actually a spirit trying to communicate with us in this house.
40:08Somebody has a death in their family.
40:10There's a man here.
40:11He thinks this is weird.
40:12There's a man here.
40:13There's a man here.
40:13There's a man here.
40:14There's a man here.
40:14There's a man here.
40:14There's a man here.
40:15There's a man here.
40:15There's a man here.
40:15There's a man here.
40:16There's a man here.
40:16There's a man here.
40:17There's a man here.
40:17There's a man here.
40:17There's a man here.
40:18There's a man here.
40:18There's a man here.
40:19There's a man here.
40:19There's a man here.
40:20There's a man here.
40:21There's a man here.
40:21There's a man here.
40:22There's a man here.
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