- 2 days ago
10 true crime obsessives invited to the opening weekend of the newly renovated Cold River Motel, the site of a 30-year-old unsolved Satanic Mass Murder. History repeats itself when the guests get start getting knocked off one by one.
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Just a few more steps and...
00:10Ta-da!
00:11It's an old motel.
00:15An amazing one.
00:16And it's a steal.
00:17I'm not surprised.
00:19Real estate is all about vision, Portia.
00:21And your little lady right here has so much, it's scary.
00:24Emphasis on this here.
00:26But with a paint job, cosmetic landscaping, and a snappy neon selfie wall.
00:31Hello? Selfies?
00:33Trippy cow scones.
00:35Okay, okay, that all sounds beautiful.
00:38But why would anybody want to stay here in the middle of nowhere?
00:43Because one of the most infamous mass murders happened at this very spot.
00:50Hey, hear me out.
00:52That your crime industry brings in millions here.
00:55And people will travel around the world just to break into a place like this.
00:58Just imagine how much they would pay to just stay in one.
01:01Little sickos like you.
01:04Thousands.
01:05Throw in the non-themed diner.
01:07Serving a trapped market.
01:09You can't get pizza or Chinese food delivered all the way out here.
01:12You want to eat, you gotta hunt.
01:14Yeah, or I could spend that kind of money on a beautiful winter home in Palm Springs for us with the pool.
01:21Let me think on it.
01:26Of course.
01:27But I know that once you've done your usual market research and you see how famous this place is, you'll agree we're looking at a true crime goal of mine.
01:38Murders, where the money's at girl?
01:44So people would pay to come and stay at a place where a massacre took place?
01:49Oh, big bucks.
01:50Oodles of it.
01:51Guaranteed.
01:55Hey, hey, hey!
01:56Stop it!
01:58Everything we own is in there!
02:00Everything!
02:01Hey, hey, hey.
02:02What are we gonna do?
02:05We're on the way out.
02:06What the hell is the car?
02:07It's in the shop.
02:08We don't bring up the SUV in until Monday.
02:10Are you kidding me?
02:11You insisted that we come in the goddamn hearse!
02:14It's part of the exterior.
02:15We weren't for seeing somebody who would murder a gasp!
02:19Who are they gonna kill next?
02:20We didn't kill anyone!
02:22So let's go in the motel now!
02:25Well, someone's dead in the air!
02:27And I for one ain't dying today!
02:29Do you want to figure out what's going on?
02:31And what we need to do?
02:32Then get inside now!
02:34Yeah.
02:36Yeah!
02:37Ryan, get in the bath!
02:38Okay.
02:39Okay.
02:40Just get out of here.
02:58All I'm asking is for everybody to keep their heads about them.
03:01Portia and I are handling this.
03:02How do we know you didn't kill Hemingway?
03:04And burn the RV?
03:06You strand us here and then you pick us off one by one?
03:10In what worlds would that make sense?
03:12We are businesswomen.
03:13We have spent $700,000 renovating this place.
03:18Not to mention what it cost to buy the motel.
03:21So we're not going to piss away our life savings and ruin our lives in the process.
03:27Maybe not you.
03:29But you.
03:31I'm not so sure.
03:32Yeah.
03:33Me neither.
03:34Why me?
03:35Oh, right.
03:36Let me guess.
03:37My makeup.
03:38How I dress.
03:39No, because you're obsessed with the murders that happened.
03:41Yeah.
03:42Girl, I'm a connoisseur of slaughter.
03:44You're a wannabe.
03:45It's a little too much and with yourself at the center.
03:48And none of you wanted?
03:49Really?
03:50Every single one of you wanted a piece of true crime history and that is what we delivered.
03:59Total access to the most famous murder site in history on our dime.
04:04I can't believe how ungrateful you are.
04:08The bullying, the finger pointing.
04:11What if your guest was cooked to death on your watch?
04:13Exactly.
04:14So thank you so much for the invite, but I want to check out.
04:16Yeah, and if they're going, I'm going to.
04:18Yeah, me too.
04:19Sounds like a good plan.
04:20Okay, I just want to put this in people's heads.
04:23I've hunted this state the last 10 years, and it's serious.
04:27There's black bear all over.
04:29And around here you've got gray wolf and mountain lion.
04:31And this weather's no joke.
04:33Five minutes out there and you'll be soaked to your skin.
04:35Walk through the woods at night.
04:37If the wildlife don't kill you, hypothermia will.
04:41You're a hunter?
04:42Yep.
04:43My whole life.
04:44Normally, I would bow to you letting your primal impulse loose.
04:50But given the circumstances...
04:52I've never boiled my prey to death.
04:53And how are we supposed to know that?
04:55Listen, fella.
04:56Where I come from, if you call someone a murderer, you better back it up.
05:01Prove me wrong, big guy.
05:04Okay.
05:05Let's all just...
05:06Let's all just calm down.
05:07Let's calm down.
05:09Okay?
05:10Everybody go back to your rooms.
05:12Lock your doors.
05:13We'll bat down for the night, and by the morning portion I will have a plan for how we can get help.
05:17That sounds sensible.
05:19I'm going to the kitchen.
05:21Get myself some food.
05:22Yeah.
05:23Help yourself to whatever you want.
05:24Yeah.
05:25I'm also gonna help myself to a knife.
05:27I suggest everybody else do the same thing.
05:29I don't think arming everyone will make anybody safer.
05:32Look.
05:33If I've learned one thing from personal experience,
05:36crazy murders like these, they never stop at just one.
05:43What the hell?
05:44I know.
05:45You didn't stew that chef, did you?
05:46It's not my handiwork.
05:47But someone beat us to him.
05:48Good news is, they'll pin the RV on whoever killed that prick.
05:49Nice work on your talk about the wilderness and the weather.
05:50Yeah, well you gotta explain it to these city-bred morons that they can't just, you know, saunter 45 miles to safety.
05:52One of those people killed a chef.
05:53Yeah, it's hard to believe that anyone from that pack of spoiled pussies pulled it off.
06:00Pro or Hawaiian might be capable.
06:04What the wacky spiritual guy in the RV?
06:06No.
06:07No.
06:08No.
06:09No.
06:10No.
06:11No.
06:12No.
06:14No.
06:15No.
06:16No.
06:17No.
06:18No.
06:19No.
06:20No.
06:21spiritual guy in the artist so i wouldn't put it past that freak ruby who runs the place
06:26i don't know portia seems to put together to be shacked up with a killer someone did it
06:32and the bigger question is why kids have been dressing up as us for halloween for years
06:40maybe we have a copycat or maybe we have a real satanist in our midst do you really think so
06:48someone who understands the importance behind the timing of all this
06:55and wants to complete the ritual for baphomet a ritual we started
07:02whoever it is we have to flush them out we cannot fail again the gateway must be open to release
07:09baphomet we should just go and kill them all right now patience patience my love the blood must be
07:16spilled as we move along saturn's orbital period marking its path yeah you spill it all at once
07:23or too soon and the blood loses its magic it won't have the power to open the gate
07:32we don't have another 30 years to wait for saturn's return so this must be perfect
07:39okay we'll figure out who's trying to steal our thunder then we'll make them pay with their life yeah slow
07:58someone knows how to use a knife someone had to right you already popped your mass murder jerry
08:04yeah it's not a joke
08:10i never joke about serial killers why don't we room together
08:18why would we do that safety in numbers do you trust me
08:24i trust you i mean it couldn't hurt rooming with someone who has already survived something like this
08:30i just i just i figure i have a better chance of making it out alive with you by my side
08:42it's a crime scene so i guess we should lock up down here right
09:02do you think the murderer like the original murderer has come back and finish what he started
09:12i don't i mean did we make this happen by reopening the motel
09:19no oh i promise you let's get this done fast we'll go back to our room lock our doors
09:26we'll cuddle our way to tomorrow okay oh god we can't just leave him like that we need to at least
09:38try and get him someplace cool maybe have a walk-in fridge i don't think i can we got this
09:46and we can do anything together okay uh how are we gonna get him to the kitchen i guess we pull him
09:57out of here maybe put him on like a yoga mat and carry him the rest of the way
10:05sure
10:06oh god oh god no no porsche
10:36andy shouldn't you be in your room i mean i guess you could say the same for me but i will not starve to
10:50death you okay
10:59ah i guess uh writing about true crime isn't the same as being in it right you think we're gonna make
11:10it i can't answer that no one can i know this feels really far away from your regular life
11:16but andy you were built for this it's in your ancestral bones you are the son of generations of
11:27survivors yeah take a breath with me
11:35yeah that's it and what i want you to do is i want you to breathe in your ancestors
11:42who fought and who struggled and who survived to get us to this point
11:49their genes made us the men we are today we're lucky to be here we're lucky to have survived to this
11:57point
12:00and honestly even in all this madness and challenge
12:07i'm glad i'm here with you right now thanks
12:12you have a white gift
12:23how are you so calm i mean are you even a little afraid
12:28of course but i'm deeply interested in things that we look away from
12:34that includes fear helps in moments like this
12:37i don't know if it's like this whenever life gets scary i walk purposefully towards it
12:46i hope
12:49some of whatever you have is rubbing off on me crow
12:51this is probably the best sandwich i've ever had it's soy sauce it turns mayo into super mayo
13:04wow okay yeah so now that you're feeling all full and happy and appreciating my culinary secrets
13:16do you think you could tell me a little bit about the sigma die killer
13:23the murder you're part of now it's it's not enough for you okay
13:26okay fine i had to ask but i get it okay so why don't you ask me something anything you want
13:41you really travel all over the world just to bang these guys behind bars i do
13:47it's one of the perks of being a flight attendant i can bang a killer on every continent
13:56like this one time i was on a way over in berlin
14:02and i met up with this guy
14:05roland lucas
14:07he's a murderer who just got out this guy like the german cliche which as far as i can tell is a
14:15hundred percent accurate he was kanky he had me all chained up
14:25wait like actual chains oh yeah they're way better than ropes there's no get
14:29so he had me all chained up arms in the air totally exposed and you weren't like scared or anything
14:39like that no i was terrified but you know what it turned on yeah
14:46a lot of fear and sex we're not so far apart
15:11hey um thanks for that pep talk
15:14hey it's brave to be vulnerable and thank you for trusting me enough to share what you're going
15:20through you want to hang out i i uh swiped a big bag of almonds that i probably shouldn't eat alone
15:30yeah i mean it would pair really really well with this uh bottle of red
15:36andy i'm gonna make a run for it into town
15:43i'm gonna get us some help in this storm doesn't sound like a good idea
15:48i think i can make it with the work i do i've logged many hours in extreme weather heat cold
15:55i'm used to suffering okay but i mean you heard that guy there's bears there's mountain lions
16:01i can't just sit here and do nothing i will go crazy
16:16says it's the most waterproof coat on the market thank you stay safe
16:24i can't see who it is exactly
16:50one of our little lambs is getting away like hell they are
16:54we need nine sacrifices to open that portal can i kill this asshole
17:09and i'll do some reconnaissance on my own
17:11be careful
17:16for all we know this could be our killer i've never bagged me a killer before
17:21that's a big offering for baffermen
17:41that was owl sad
18:11i will get one of the others to help me tomorrow
18:18you're gonna be okay
18:21i just want to sleep
18:22i'm gonna sleep till this is over and until the police get here
18:28you should
18:34i took a bend
18:37good
18:41i'm sorry
18:43for making you do that
18:45you didn't want to and i should have
18:47we should have never bought this place
18:50portia
18:52come on this was our dream
18:54no
18:56no
18:57this was your dream
19:00and i never should have bankrolled your sick and perverted nightmare
19:05this is an awful moment
19:11but it is one tiny stumbling block
19:14stumbling block
19:17his arm fell off like an overcooked joint of meat
19:23but that is what this place is about right and you love it for it
19:27i love this story
19:28no you love all of it
19:31your grotesque obsession with murder and
19:34the poor people who died here i think that you're happy that they died
19:38of course i'm not
19:39and now you have some new victim to fangirl over it's just
19:43your obsessions ruby they repulse me like you repulse me
19:59i'm sorry okay i shouldn't have said that it's not you it's just it's this place
20:13no
20:15you meant every last word
20:17hey you don't get to try and smooth that over now
20:20you don't get to pretend that everything we have been building
20:24is suddenly perverted and disgusting
20:27i am so tired
20:29i'm thinking i'm just a project
20:32i'm tired i'm never living up here
20:35you're all here to now stand up
20:38so you can go screw yourself portia
20:44you know what
20:46better yet
20:47paint a target on your chest
20:49he let that murdering bastard try and find your heart
20:54then rip it straight out of you
21:08you
21:27live still
21:28You run that beast of on you down, they'll be eating you live when we get back up the top of this road
21:44I stand your ground scared off
21:48Bastard
21:50Get out of here
21:58Thank you
22:05You just keep that
22:18You're a jumpy bugger, aren't you?
22:22What are you doing out here?
22:25What did I say about you?
22:27I'm going to get his help
22:28You're going to become a chew toy
22:30Which is why I told everyone else to wait until at least sunrise
22:34I guess I forgot the part where I take orders from you
22:44So what's your real name?
22:46Don't say Crow
22:47Because that is a made-up Indian roll caca
22:50I only got your first name
22:53Floyd Dantry
22:55What's yours?
22:57You got ID, Floyd Dantry?
23:03I lost it in the RV fire
23:05That's convenient
23:06You suspect me of something?
23:08I suspect everybody
23:10I suspect everybody
23:11Except Hemingway
23:13So you and your wife
23:16You just
23:17Show up
23:19That's some out-of-the-way hole-in-the-wall motel
23:22That you apparently don't know about
23:24And some mysterious fire
23:26Destroys your RV
23:28Yeah, I suspect that a bunch
23:31And you would too
23:31So why don't you tell me
23:32What you're really doing here?
23:37How about I show you?
23:41Where are you?
23:45Well, where are you?
23:47Yes, I didn't have to worry
23:48I didn't know you'd have company
23:51Yeah, no, there's nothing to worry about
23:54Well, the wolf you just ran into said otherwise
23:57Mother Nature
23:58She could be one mean, dangerous bitch
24:01Okay, what, you saw
24:03One wolf?
24:06There'll probably be others nearby
24:07We should go
24:08No, no, no
24:09I'm not gonna sit on my hands
24:11In that motel, Andy
24:12Could you talk some sense into him, Floyd?
24:14That's what he came out here to do
24:15He insists on this foolishness
24:18I just, blah
24:19Can't let him go on this track alone
24:22I ain't that kind of guy
24:31Oh, yeah, I guess I can't wait till morning
24:35Good man
24:36Sane man
24:38Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
24:57I just
24:57You don't want to?
24:59I do, I do
25:00I just
25:00It feels like we're moving maybe a little bit too fast
25:03Don't you think?
25:06But, like, Hemingway
25:07Oh, Hemingway just reminds me that life is short
25:09You're a little better than anyone, right?
25:12And when you know what you want
25:14Why should you wait for it?
25:16I mean, I really
25:18For real
25:19I think I'm not what you want
25:22It's to see
25:24What?
25:28Well, um
25:29You don't have to be embarrassed
25:30You don't have to hide anything
25:31I'm not
25:32I'm not, I'm not
25:32I just, I
25:33Why do you want to see them?
25:36Um
25:37Oh my god
25:41I'm gonna take this out
25:46Oh my god
25:47You were sliced and ticed
26:07exactly
26:13it's a poker fireplace poker
26:18it's not that's about the good thing I want
26:21I've got a feeling you want it to
26:24oh
26:29no way
26:32no no no I
26:35I don't think so I also
26:37I don't know if now's the
26:40right time
26:41for something like that
26:44there's a murderer
26:46out in the halls
26:48and
26:49really
26:52oh
26:54Jesus
26:55okay
27:02okay
27:05look
27:06locked
27:13okay
27:14okay
27:15locked
27:21okay
27:23locked
27:24you're safe
27:28well
27:29safe as you want to be
27:32okay
27:35hmm
27:38okay
27:41okay
27:42okay
27:42okay
27:43okay
27:45okay
27:46Okay.
28:14Okay, okay.
28:30Yeah.
28:39Who's my good boy?
28:44Yeah.
28:49Oh, shit.
28:53I...
28:56I...
28:58I...
29:00I...
29:04I...
29:06I...
29:08I...
29:10I...
29:11Put that away.
29:22But I like it.
29:23No, but put it away, put it away.
29:25It's funny, what are you so afraid?
29:26No, no, no, it's...
29:27Unlock the cuffs.
29:28Shh, shh, shh, calm down.
29:30Don't worry about it, you're safe.
29:32No, unlock the cuffs, unlock the cuffs.
29:33Shit.
29:34Unlock the fucking cuffs!
29:35Yes.
29:52You're...
29:55You're...
29:59Yes.
30:01Yes.
30:02thought this was an art installation not a performance art piece this this is all shit
30:12i thought it looked pretty damn good soda
30:17cheers
30:27isn't this just part of that artistic process we all hear about you try to make something great
30:39you doubt it
30:40no i've spent my entire career translating these horrors into visual visceral media but all this
30:51time i've been nothing but a hack come on why are you saying that seeing actual murder
30:57i'm close and personal what i was doing was just play acting you're being too hard on yourself
31:02no way you saw hemingway you saw his body that's what murder is that was the real deal
31:09everything i do is just a photocopy
31:13maybe you need to try your hand at murder
31:20what i'm saying is if you need to invest yourself in your art that might be your only option
31:33or you can just try changing your oeuvre to something less bloody
31:40do you think you can do that kill someone
31:45in the heat of the moment sure we all have a killer hiding within us
31:53jesus you gave me a heart attack
32:02well it could have been a lot worse
32:16you should be in the room doors long
32:18yeah we're good talking
32:20crow here thought he could walk 12 plus hours to get help
32:33come on save your complex this guy
32:35i'm going to bed
32:36yeah me too i'm beat
32:37and sure i was probably worried
32:39good night
32:40and sleep with the angels
32:42i trust that guy about as far as i can throw him
32:54who that good old boy
32:56and his machete
32:57we're all carrying weapons
33:00i get that
33:01but i'm a very good reader of people andy and that guy
33:05with his glaring eyes and his tough guy stance
33:09that guy's a killer
33:11trust me
33:13all the media gives off weird vibes
33:15but he could have killed us both out there if he wanted
33:17return back to the motel
33:19no one the wiser
33:20he's biding his time
33:21until he can pull off something hemingway level awful
33:24and you know what that means
33:27the rest of us we have to stay on guard
33:31we have to stick together
33:34what are you doing out there
34:01and in your outdoor things
34:03i hope you wiped off all that mud
34:05because if you damage any of the wood
34:07you'll be charged for her
34:09her soul must be dispatched to hell
34:21not in the middle of the goddamn hallway floyd
34:23i swear
34:25lift your own devices
34:27where's your sweetheart
34:47can we talk
34:49i'm not the only one that said things she shouldn't have
34:57i'm sorry for all of it
35:01what's your sweetheart
35:04or she
35:06love
35:07love
35:08love
35:12love
35:16love
35:19love
35:28love
35:29love
35:29love
35:30love
35:31love
35:31love
35:31Stupid, stupid, idiot!
36:00Ah!
36:02You did not drink Viker, Phantom!
36:09I cannot stay here!
36:11I cannot stay here cooped up!
36:16Tell me that wasn't amazing.
36:19Tell me that wasn't the hottest, craziest sex you've ever had in your entire life.
36:25That was something.
36:29That was everything.
36:34Can you do the other hand?
36:36I guess.
36:37Since you've been such a good boy.
36:47I'm free, though. Here's a question.
36:49That's definitely on my mind.
36:51Who do you think is going to bite the bullet next?
36:56I'd really rather not think about that.
37:00Well, you should.
37:01Because if we don't figure out who the killer is, he or she will strike an end.
37:06And we want to make sure we're out of here safe before they call our number.
37:10So, who do you think it's going to be?
37:14I don't know.
37:15Oh, I have a better question.
37:16Who do you want it to be?
37:17No one.
37:18Look, I know after everything you've been through, that life is precious and all that.
37:27But come on.
37:28You're human.
37:29There's gotta be someone who you wish meets the chewing end of a chainsaw.
37:34You could totally kill someone here and get away with it.
37:39I mean, you could just do it and then blame the psycho murderer, right?
37:42Um...
37:43So, who would that be?
37:46Okay, so for me, I think it would be Prissy Page.
37:50Yeah?
37:51I did kind of like the first Doom Service, and she was okay in it.
37:55But if I'm honest, each sequel was worse than the last.
37:58And that was because of how grating she was.
38:01And always running and crying and being all self-righteous.
38:05I mean, it's boring.
38:07And her sex scenes, my God.
38:09She screws like someone who's never seen a dick.
38:13Yeah.
38:15Yeah, we kill her.
38:17And then once we're out of here safe and sound,
38:20we translate all the fame and fortune into another book for you.
38:25And an acting career for me.
38:27I could play Caitlin in the next Doom Service.
38:29Or actually, no, I should just play myself.
38:32I'm more badass.
38:33Definitely sexier.
38:34People would eat me up.
38:39What do you think?
38:41Wanna be famous?
38:44That was messed up.
38:45Oh, come on.
38:47I'm just playing what if.
38:48Yeah, about murdering an innocent woman who hasn't done a thing to you.
38:53Okay, it doesn't have to be her.
38:55We could save her for last.
38:59Yeah, Paige's death would have to be poetic.
39:01A has-been actor.
39:03How do we kill them?
39:07Replace a prop knife with a real knife.
39:09Oh no, I know.
39:11I know.
39:12Blake, we cram all our bad reviews down her throats.
39:15What, Blake?
39:16I'm joking.
39:17Jesus.
39:18Are you?
39:19Yes.
39:20Oh, Blake.
39:21Jesus.
39:22I'm not a monster.
39:23I misunderstood.
39:24That was fun.
39:25Pussy.
39:26Ugh.
39:27Yes!
39:29Oh, play! Jesus!
39:31Oh...
39:33I'm not a monster!
39:35I misunderstood!
39:39That was fun.
39:47Pussy.
39:57Jesus!
40:01Jesus!
40:03Jesus!
40:05Jesus!
40:09Jesus!
40:13Oh, Jesus!
40:15Oh, my God!
40:21Ah...
40:23Do we even need that?
40:49I mean, I can just set us up on a texting system instead.
40:53It's the actual bell they had here the night of the murders.
40:56Ah, you didn't tell me that.
40:58No, because you'd get all freaked out.
41:02We want you to be happy and enjoy what we're doing.
41:06Because what we're doing, babe,
41:09is starting the next chapter of our lives together.
41:13I would just enjoy the weekend so much more
41:16if our closest neighbors weren't hours away.
41:19All the best horror takes place in isolation.
41:21Evil Dead, The Cabin in the Woods.
41:23The Shining.
41:25Wow.
41:26The Portia I met and fell in love with
41:28would have thought The Shining was just some kind of yoga retreat.
41:34Trust me.
41:36This is good.
41:38I trust you with my life.
41:47Our guests are here.
41:49will fall off on the left.
41:53Anyway, what do we have?
41:54We have to take a mess.
41:58Why do I know?
41:59We have to take a mess here.
42:00We have to take a mess here.
42:02We are good.
42:04Do we go?
42:05You are good.
42:06We have to take a mess.
42:07You are good.
42:08You are good.
42:09I am good.
42:10I don't know.
42:40Of course, did you hear that?
42:47Of course, huh?
43:05I'm raining like cats and dogs.
43:17There must be a week somewhere.
43:24I don't know.
43:31I don't know.
43:43I don't know.
43:52I don't know.
43:55I don't know.
43:59I don't know.
44:11I don't know.
44:12I don't know.
44:13I don't know.
44:14I don't know.
Recommended
48:28
|
Up next
46:23
50:31
1:38:29
1:45:38
50:36
1:24:00
1:50:29
1:36:28
1:36:49
1:35:46
1:25:09
1:21:38
1:29:39
1:11:52
1:16:15
1:16:07