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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 16 Episode 5
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00:00In other news, Tinseltown is coming to Philadelphia.
00:09Hollywood stars Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul are here promoting their alcohol brand, Dos Hombres.
00:14Hey, Bryan, how does it feel to be the kingpin of Metcalf?
00:17Oh, no, no, no, no, no, don't put that on me, no, I'm just a simple actor.
00:21This, this is the man, the brains behind Olumpe.
00:24No, no, no, no, it's a team effort.
00:27Wow, Hollywood celebrities right here in Philly, huh?
00:30I don't love it. I mean, why can't they stay in their lane?
00:33Why do they have to come into our lane?
00:34The celebrity booze thing's a little out of control.
00:36It's a total sellout. I mean, a complete cash grab.
00:38Any idiot could take a bottle of booze, slap a celebrity's face on it, and make a fortune.
00:44I mean, we could do it if we wanted.
00:45We know more about booze than these two guys, probably.
00:46Are you kidding me? Look, yeah, is there an opportunity for us to create a booze of our own, right?
00:50And go pitch those guys? Yeah, of course there is.
00:52It'd be so easy.
00:53It would be so easy, you know, and could we do something like that?
00:56Also, yes, absolutely.
00:57Of course we could.
00:58But, I mean, are we going to go do something like that?
01:00Yes, we're going to do it.
01:01I think we should.
01:02We're going to do it.
01:02It's already happening.
01:03Okay, guys, I think we can all agree.
01:28We need to come up with a brand that is representative of who we are as people and as businessmen.
01:33Now, I ask you guys this.
01:35What's the first word that comes to your mind when you are trying to describe us?
01:39Premium.
01:40Premium.
01:41I was going to say that, dude.
01:42I was going to say premium.
01:42You were going to say that, too?
01:43Yeah.
01:44Hey, listen, man, you're spot on.
01:45Premium.
01:46Yes, our brand will, of course, be a premium brand.
01:49Now, what is the most premium alcohol ever invented?
01:52Goldschlager.
01:53Goldschlager.
01:53All right, hey, we're all on the same page here.
01:56This is good.
01:57I like this.
01:57Okay, yeah, Swiss cinnamon schnapps liqueur with drinkable flakes of gold floating in.
02:02My God, what's more premium than that?
02:04Yeah, nothing.
02:05Nothing, right?
02:06Here's a pitch.
02:06Okay, I can get a bunch of nickels and I can smash them up and put them into a schlager,
02:10right?
02:10We call it nickel schlager and we pitch it as like the working man spirit.
02:14And, you know, nickels are easy to find and just as shiny.
02:17Well, that sounds disgusting and potentially dangerous as well.
02:20Yeah, I'm going to try it, though.
02:21Listen, I think I've pinpointed a small market trend that we could corner, but that could
02:25also totally represent us.
02:27I'm talking about a blend.
02:29A blend?
02:31Yes, blends.
02:32Blends.
02:33Blends.
02:33Yes, blends are very popular these days.
02:35Wine blends, whiskey blends, you know, so let me ask you this.
02:39What is the second classiest drink in the world?
02:42Jägermeister.
02:43Jägermeister.
02:44Amazing, yes.
02:45It's the Meisters and the Schlagers and the Schnapps.
02:48I mean, those are the drinks that make people feel high-end, you know, like they're on a
02:51European ski adventure, right?
02:53Yeah.
02:54It's true.
02:54Those drinks make people feel premium, you know?
02:56So I say we do a blend of all the most premium drinks.
03:00We put them all together and we make one drink called Patty's Schlager Schnapps-ter-Meister.
03:05That's brilliant.
03:08That's so smart, too.
03:09Well, because it blends them all together, like you said.
03:12It's a lot of fun, right?
03:13It definitely feels like you're in Switzerland or something.
03:15Yeah, so it's great.
03:16Well, so you guys get it.
03:17Okay, great.
03:18I'm so glad we're on the same page with this.
03:19So here's the thing.
03:20All we got to do is get those celebrity guys blessing and boom, we are off to the races.
03:25We're going to be rich men.
03:25But I don't think we should approach them without being fully funded first.
03:29So our first test is going to be landing a big fish who can finance this whole operation.
03:33And I know just the guy.
03:42Yo.
03:42Yo, Frank.
03:43I got you on speakerphone with Mac and Charlie.
03:46Where are you right now?
03:47I'm in the sky.
03:48In the sky?
03:48What?
03:49That's right, Dignits.
03:50We're in the sky on a private plane on the way to Aruba.
03:53What the hell, Frank?
03:54Why are you taking D?
03:55Um, because I'm more glamorous than you guys, Frank recognizes that, and so he invited me.
03:59I was on my way to the jet.
04:01She overheard me talking about the flight, and she glommed on.
04:05You know what?
04:06We don't care.
04:07Frank, we have a business proposition for you, pal.
04:08Frank, how would you like to invest in a celebrity alcohol brand?
04:13I don't know about that.
04:15I once had Greg Luganus as the face of my apricot brand in the 80s.
04:21But when he cracked his noggin at the Olympics, the business took a nosedive with him.
04:25Okay, well, we're talking about a much bigger celebrity than that, okay?
04:28We're talking about a household name here.
04:30Now, have you ever heard of a little show called Malcolm in the Middle?
04:35Have I?
04:36Change the game.
04:37Change the game, Frank.
04:39Yeah, it did.
04:39It did.
04:40It did.
04:40It did.
04:40It did.
04:40It did.
04:40It did.
04:40It did.
04:40It did.
04:40It did.
04:40It did.
04:40It did.
04:41It did.
04:41It did.
04:41It did.
04:41It did.
04:42Well, listen, the dad from that show is in town, and we're going to be pitching him tonight.
04:45Hey, Malcolm.
04:46He's here, too.
04:46Although he's all grown up now, so you might not recognize him.
04:48Yeah.
04:49Dang.
04:49That sounds pretty glamorous.
04:50I'd like to hang with celebs.
04:52Shut up, D.
04:52Shut up, D.
04:53Shut up.
04:54God, shut up, D.
04:55Shut your mouth or I will shut it for you.
04:56Yeah, shut up.
04:57When you get back, Max, we're going to shut it for you.
04:59We're going to shut your mouth, and we're going to sew your lips shut.
05:01Just shut up.
05:02Shut up.
05:02Shut up.
05:03All right, well, well, you know, if you can get Malcolm and his dad on the hook, bring them to me at the jet.
05:09When I land, we'll talk shop.
05:12Nice.
05:13Big fish, land it.
05:14All right.
05:14How are they going to bring them to Aruba?
05:16We're never going to Aruba.
05:18We're circling Philly.
05:21Oh, my God.
05:22There's the link.
05:23What the hell, Frank?
05:24Why are we circling Philly?
05:25I got to put enough miles on the jet to make it look like I went to Aruba and back.
05:31It's a tax thing.
05:32Then why don't we just go to Aruba and back?
05:34Wouldn't that make more sense?
05:35I have things to do in Philly.
05:37But I don't want to circle Philly for hours.
05:39Look, first you nagged me to get on the plane, now you're nagging me to get off.
05:43Just no dice.
05:44We're circling Philly.
05:45Oh, God.
05:46Damn it.
05:50It is popping off in there, man.
05:52It is popping off.
05:52Actually, Charlie, I would also love for you to pop off that hat.
05:55No, dude.
05:56You said dress nice.
05:57I want to be able to tip my cap to these guys when I meet them.
05:59Yeah, but you look like a limo driver.
06:00Whatever, dude.
06:01I look good, man.
06:02You guys want to hit some of this, too, by the way?
06:04What the hell is that?
06:05It's nickel sager, man.
06:06It's delicious.
06:07I've been drinking it all day.
06:08Throw that shit out.
06:09Do not bring that up and pitch.
06:10I've got to pitch it.
06:11Dude, do not.
06:12Don't.
06:13Oh, God.
06:14Damn it.
06:15Oh.
06:16Over here, sir.
06:17Okay.
06:18You know what?
06:19That might have been this.
06:20Here, I'll give it to you, I guess.
06:21I'm on me.
06:22Anything in your pocket, sir?
06:23No, no.
06:24I'm good.
06:25I'm good.
06:26Uh...
06:27Guys, why is it going off my stomach?
06:31Because you have a belly full of nickels.
06:33Oh, right.
06:34Shit.
06:35Okay, you know what?
06:36I'll make myself throw up and then I'll get the...
06:37Should I throw up here or...
06:39All right, I'm gonna go outside and I'll make you guys back in.
06:42Great.
06:43Good riddance.
06:44He looks ridiculous anyway.
06:45Yeah, well, you don't look that much better, pal.
06:47I mean, what is going on with that suit?
06:49Oh, I'm going for a Jordan in the 90s look.
06:52I mean, who's more premium than MJ, right?
06:55Now, I'm thinking that I go pitch a fashion line and sort of expand into a lifestyle brand.
06:59No, don't do that, okay?
07:00Let's just...
07:01Can we stick with the one thing?
07:02Just stick with the one thing, please.
07:04They're celebrities.
07:05They're gonna get the look.
07:06I know they're celebrities.
07:07I'm not saying they're not celebrities.
07:08I'm saying...
07:09Do you know who Michael Jordan is?
07:10Yes, I know who...
07:11Then why are you fighting me about this?
07:12Can we just go get in the meet and greet line?
07:13It's already getting long as shit.
07:14Come on.
07:19Frank!
07:20Frank!
07:21Frank!
07:22What?
07:23How much longer?
07:24Three hours.
07:25Oh, my God.
07:26Can I watch what you're watching?
07:28Because the Wi-Fi is not strong enough for me to watch anything.
07:30You should have downloaded movies, then.
07:32I mean, I also have to go to the bathroom.
07:34Oh, that's not good.
07:35Bathroom on the plane is busted.
07:37What?
07:38Yeah, but you can use the emergency can.
07:40Where's the emergency can?
07:41You're sitting on it.
07:42What?
07:43You just pull that cushion up and get that privacy screen over there.
07:46Is it a number one or a number two?
07:48It's a number one.
07:49Eh, let it rip.
07:50It's gonna go out in the air anyway.
07:51Are you sure you don't have any food anywhere?
07:52Why don't you sniff around back there?
07:53What's this?
07:54What's that?
07:55It's a can of something.
07:56Oh, it's an old can of oysters from another flight.
07:57A can of oysters?
07:58Yeah, go ahead and have them.
07:59God damn it.
08:00All right, all right.
08:01Getting pretty close here.
08:02Okay, now just go with me here, Dennis.
08:03I want you to picture it, all right?
08:04It's a whole lifestyle ecosystem with booths and suits and apps that link to the room.
08:07Personal trainers who make you look good in the suits.
08:08Premium.
08:09Dude, this is what I'm saying.
08:10Please, please, please.
08:11Just stick with the blend.
08:12Stick with the blend.
08:13This is a blend of ideas.
08:14Yes, but it's a blend of too many ideas.
08:15I don't even know what you're talking about half the time.
08:16I'm talking about branding, bro.
08:17This is branding.
08:18You know what?
08:19Actually, you just keep your mouth shut the whole time.
08:20Just keep your mouth shut the whole time.
08:21Just keep your mouth shut.
08:22I'll do the talking.
08:23We do the firm handshake, right?
08:24Because that's essential to setting tone for a good pitch.
08:25Got to have a firm handshake.
08:26And then that's it.
08:27I do the talking.
08:28And don't say a god damn thing about booths and suits and apps.
08:29Here we go.
08:30Okay.
08:33Thank you, ladies.
08:34All right.
08:35All right.
08:36All right.
08:37All right.
08:38All right.
08:39All right.
08:40All right.
08:41All right.
08:42All right.
08:43All right.
08:44All right.
08:45All right.
08:46All right.
08:47All right.
08:48All right.
08:49All right.
08:50Come on, guys.
08:51Here we go.
08:52Hey there, fellas.
08:53Hey.
08:54Hi.
08:55Hello to you kind sirs.
08:56Let's do a...
08:57Oh.
08:58Oh.
08:59No, I'm sorry.
09:00We don't shake hands.
09:02Well, that kind of throws off my whole thing.
09:04I think we can't kick this off without a firm handshake.
09:06Why don't you just...
09:07I really don't mind shaking his hands.
09:08How many times do we have to go through this?
09:09We're not shaking hands.
09:10We're not shaking hands.
09:11We don't know these people.
09:12Don't know you.
09:13Sorry.
09:14Wow.
09:15Look at that suit.
09:16I love that.
09:17I'm not supposed to talk.
09:19I didn't say...
09:20I didn't say...
09:21I'm not supposed to either.
09:22All right.
09:23Come on.
09:24Let's get this going.
09:25He's kidding.
09:26He's kidding.
09:27He's kidding.
09:28He's kidding.
09:29All right.
09:30Come on.
09:31Everybody say dos sombre.
09:32Dos sombre.
09:33Yay.
09:34Thanks so much.
09:35You can get the photos with the QR code that way.
09:36I don't need a photo.
09:37Actually, I just wanted to...
09:38All right.
09:39Hey.
09:40What just happened?
09:41You blew it, dude.
09:42You choked.
09:43I didn't choke it.
09:44No.
09:45It was Malcolm.
09:46He's very aggressive.
09:47He's super aggressive.
09:48He's like the alpha dog, dude.
09:49I didn't like that.
09:50Malcolm's not in the middle.
09:51He's on top.
09:52He's on top.
09:53Shit.
09:54You know what?
09:55Let's get back in the line.
09:56Help.
09:57Hey.
09:58Hey.
09:59Hey, buddy.
10:00Hey, can I ask you something really quick?
10:01Yeah, sure, man.
10:02What's up?
10:03Hey, listen.
10:04I've been throwing up for a little bit.
10:05Dude, sorry.
10:06Hey, I actually kind of can't stop.
10:07I think I'm having a reaction to the medals.
10:08But my real problem is, like, no matter how much I hurl, like, the nickels keep coming
10:21out.
10:22Nickels?
10:23Oh, yeah.
10:24It's a Schlager play I got going.
10:25So, hey, look.
10:26Can you do me a favor on my next hurl?
10:28You know, can you see if you see any loose change in there?
10:30You know?
10:31Because, like, I really got to get an extra set of eyes on this.
10:33I can't help you.
10:34I'm waiting for something.
10:35Please, please, sir.
10:36I'm begging you, please.
10:37It's not happening.
10:38Listen, man.
10:39I can't help, all right?
10:40Please.
10:41Oh, my God.
10:42I'm so sorry.
10:43Damn it.
10:44Hey, hey, man.
10:45Hey, man.
10:46Come here.
10:47Look at this.
10:48Look at this.
10:49Yes, sir.
10:50Peace and love.
10:51Peace and love.
10:52I'm sorry.
10:53Damn it.
10:54Just stay by my car.
10:55Stay by my car and watch this.
10:56I got to finish that.
10:57Get by the car.
10:58Okay.
10:59Okay.
11:00I got your car.
11:01I'll watch your car.
11:02Yeah.
11:03He's a big boy.
11:04Jesus.
11:05Hey, man.
11:06Are you the Dos Hombres driver?
11:07Who?
11:08You know, the Malcolm in the Middle guys.
11:11Yes, I am.
11:13Come on.
11:14The dad did like my suit.
11:16Shut up about the dad and the suit.
11:18Thank you very much.
11:19What are they doing?
11:20Oh, great.
11:21Okay.
11:22Damn it.
11:23They're wrapping things up.
11:24That's great.
11:25We blew it.
11:26We totally blew our one shot.
11:27God damn it.
11:28Hey, I think I just saw Jalen Hurts.
11:29What?
11:30Seriously?
11:31Where?
11:32Yeah, dude.
11:33He just went into the bathroom.
11:34I'm sure that was him.
11:35Okay.
11:36Now listen.
11:37We're gonna pin it.
11:38All right?
11:39I mean, Jalen's better fit for a Philly-based brand anyway.
11:40Don't you think?
11:41Yeah.
11:42Let's go talk to Jalen.
11:43Let's get Jalen.
11:44Come on.
11:45Let's go.
11:46Jalen.
11:47I don't know if you're in a bathroom like this, but...
11:48You always were good against the right.
11:50That is true.
11:51You are good against the right.
11:52Now you're not gonna get away from us though.
11:54We got you.
11:55That was a joke.
11:56Um...
11:59Okay.
12:00Well, listen.
12:01We just wanted to pitch you a really great business opportunity.
12:05Yes.
12:06Now imagine this lifestyle.
12:07You're on a Caribbean island in an ill-fitting suit.
12:09No, no, no.
12:10Jalen, we're not here to pitch you a lifestyle.
12:16Gritty?
12:17Wait.
12:18What the hell is this?
12:19I thought you said Jalen Hurts came in here.
12:21Is he in one of the other stalls?
12:22I don't know.
12:23I must have gotten them confused.
12:24How do you confuse a young black man with a giant orange monster?
12:28Okay, Gritty, picture yourself in a Caribbean island.
12:31Don't pitch Gritty!
12:32Oh.
12:33We're here to talk to a celebrity.
12:34Gritty's just...
12:35Gritty.
12:36What?
12:37Oh, hey!
12:38Jalen!
12:39Jalen!
12:40There he is!
12:41Jalen!
12:42Ah, we just missed him.
12:43What are you talking about?
12:44That was not Jalen Hurts.
12:45Yes, it was.
12:46But don't take his side, Gritty.
12:47Well, he's right.
12:48That was definitely Jalen Hurts.
12:49You know what, Gritty?
12:50We don't need you anymore.
12:51Why don't you take a hike, pal?
12:52Appreciate it.
12:54God damn it.
12:55Hold on a second.
12:56Oh, it's Charlie.
12:57What do you want, man?
12:58Hey, uh, Dennis.
12:59Uh, get to Frank as fast as you can.
13:01I have remember him and his dad.
13:03Are you serious?
13:04I'll explain later.
13:05Just, I'll delay him as long as I can.
13:06Hey, could you maybe just not be on the phone?
13:09Oh, yeah, of course, sir.
13:10Yeah, I gotta go.
13:11Please.
13:13Sorry about that.
13:14Very unprofessional.
13:15Thank you very much.
13:16Apologies.
13:17Yeah, it's okay.
13:18Smell funky here.
13:19Very funky.
13:20Oh, you guys picking up an aroma?
13:21Yeah, yeah.
13:22Yeah, yeah.
13:23All right.
13:24There might be a funk to it, Mr. Malcolm.
13:25I did vomit in here earlier.
13:27Oh.
13:28Oh, great.
13:29Thank you for that.
13:30Wow.
13:31And my name is not Mr. Malcolm.
13:33It's Aaron.
13:34Okay, I gotcha.
13:35Yeah, yeah.
13:36We can go by whatever code name you feel most comfortable with, sir.
13:38You know, I can't imagine the pressures of being a Hollywood celebrity.
13:41Oh, please, please, please.
13:42Oh, yeah.
13:43Shit.
13:44Part of my language.
13:45Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:46Sorry about that.
13:47Part of my driving.
13:48I haven't driven a car in a long, long time.
13:50You really gotta start vetting these drivers, okay?
13:52If we're driving around in these crappy town cars with lunatics and now we're flying
13:56Coach?
13:57Counterpoint.
13:58Coach?
13:59I do like the grit.
14:00Don't you?
14:01I mean, it's associating with a common man.
14:03Hey.
14:04Yes.
14:05Oh, yeah, sure.
14:06Yeah, yeah.
14:07When I first stepped onto the boards in The Great White Way of Broadway, was I in the role
14:11Oh, here we go again about Broadway.
14:12Of Richard III?
14:13No.
14:14Flipping it in, of course.
14:15No.
14:16I was his understudy.
14:17I never really got to be on stage.
14:19Oh, okay.
14:20It was very close.
14:21Yeah, darn it, huh?
14:22Yeah, darn it.
14:23It's all about the work, isn't it?
14:25Yeah.
14:26He's working.
14:27We're working.
14:28Now, you can never forget where you came from.
14:30Remember how you got here?
14:31Yes.
14:32Remember, huh?
14:33The clown lost all of his money playing slots at Pechanga.
14:37Yeah.
14:38I...
14:39No, you have a problem.
14:40You know you have a problem.
14:41Oh, yeah.
14:42First step, admitting you have a problem.
14:43I admit I am a servant of the gods of chance.
14:46I pray at their altar.
14:47Yeah.
14:48Come on, baby.
14:49Way too much.
14:50Way too much.
14:51Way too much.
14:52Let it roll.
14:53This guy was a week away from sucking off tourists, okay, to pay his rent.
14:57Oh, yeah, yeah.
14:58And you know that.
14:59Fellas, you're not gonna have to suck anyone off.
15:00I'm taking you guys straight to a private plane today.
15:02Oh, great.
15:03Finally.
15:04See?
15:05See?
15:06There you go.
15:07Aren't you happy?
15:08I'm very happy.
15:09Doesn't that feel nice?
15:10Finally?
15:11Okay.
15:12Sorry, I'm getting another call here.
15:13I gotta take it.
15:14Hello.
15:15This is the driver.
15:16Hey, Charlie.
15:17You said the call when we landed.
15:18What?
15:19We landed?
15:20We just gas them up.
15:21Oh, goddammit.
15:22Why didn't you tell me that?
15:23I wouldn't have eaten the disgusting oysters.
15:25Ugh.
15:26You ate those oysters?
15:27What?
15:28You told me to.
15:29That can's from a shellfish company I started with Tony Danza back in the 80s.
15:32Tony Oysters in a Kanza?
15:33It was a catchy name.
15:34Goddammit.
15:35It didn't go anywhere.
15:36Gross.
15:37Frank.
15:38Charlie.
15:39This is Mr. Frank.
15:40He's the owner of the plane.
15:41Oh, perfect.
15:42Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:43Uh, yes, Mr. Frank.
15:44I have the father and son.
15:45You got him, Charlie?
15:47Bring him over right away.
15:48All right.
15:49Ha!
15:50Ha!
15:51Charlie got Malcolm and his dad.
15:52Oh, shit.
15:53Are you serious?
15:54Oh, I'm staying.
15:55What are you talking about?
15:56You've been complaining about getting off the plane.
15:58Now, all of a sudden, you're staying.
16:00All right.
16:01Hey, guys.
16:02Come on.
16:03Let's go.
16:04Out of the cabin.
16:05We've had this whole situation where Jalen Hurts felt trapped and he just freaked out
16:08and ran away.
16:09It was not Jalen Hurts, okay?
16:10It was literally just some black guy.
16:11It was definitely Jalen Hurts.
16:12It was not Jalen Hurts.
16:13Let's go.
16:14Let's go.
16:15Come on.
16:16Up, up, up.
16:17All right.
16:18All right.
16:20Now, this is how to travel.
16:24Yeah.
16:25Yeah, but I always wonder at whose expense.
16:28You know, when I was making my way on the Great White Way of Broadway.
16:32Oh, my God.
16:33It was hard.
16:34Hey, you know, I have an idea.
16:35Why don't you just shut your eyes and go to sleep?
16:37And then I will let you know when you can wake up.
16:40Okay?
16:41Okay.
16:43Okay.
16:44Oh, but sleep's for pussies.
16:46Let's party, am I right?
16:47Hey, guys, I'm D.
16:48Jesus, where'd you come from?
16:50I didn't know we were sharing the plane.
16:52Ah!
16:53Hi, I'm Frank, the owner.
16:56And you don't have to share the plane.
16:58This plane, this pretty little bird, can be yours for a mere price of 35 million.
17:04Sorry.
17:05Actually, um...
17:06It's a beautiful bird.
17:07Guys, don't worry.
17:08We're not here to sell you a plane.
17:09Frank, please don't.
17:10We would sell the plane.
17:11We would.
17:12But that's not the point, okay?
17:13We're not selling the plane.
17:14We're here to sell you, um...
17:15A lifestyle and ill-fitting suits.
17:17No, no, no.
17:18That's also wrong.
17:19We're not selling any of that, okay?
17:20No, no, no.
17:21Let's, let's...
17:22No.
17:23We're here to sell you a, uh...
17:24Nickel slugger!
17:25No, goddammit, none of that.
17:26None of that.
17:27Okay, listen, listen to me.
17:28Listen.
17:29Let's just start over.
17:30Okay?
17:31We're gonna start all over, and we're gonna do it with a firm handshake.
17:35I'm not supposed to.
17:37Come on, man.
17:38I think you're in an abusive relationship.
17:40Okay, this is absolutely insane.
17:43Put your hand down, Brian.
17:44But I don't mind shaking his hand, really.
17:46No, put it down, you silly little bitch.
17:49Put it down.
17:50Put it down.
17:51No.
17:52Don't you touch him.
17:53I said no.
17:55What?
17:56Oh, my God.
17:58What is happening?
18:00Sit down.
18:02Please just sit down.
18:04You want us to sit down?
18:06Sit down, please.
18:07All of you.
18:08We'll all sit down.
18:09Yeah, why don't we all sit down?
18:10I don't ask for a lot.
18:12An Emmy here.
18:14Tony there.
18:15A little pocket change for the one-armed succubus in Reno.
18:19But you.
18:20You.
18:21You're...
18:22It's never enough for you.
18:24You want it all.
18:25And you deceived me into thinking that I want it all, too, and I don't.
18:31And you took charge of our little operation.
18:34And ever since then, you've been...
18:37You've been controlling my life.
18:42You control everything.
18:44Or do you?
18:47Or do you?
18:51Maybe...
18:53You...
18:54Are the one being deceived.
18:56Maybe...
18:57Being the front man...
18:59Of an alcohol business...
19:01Places your head so far out in front of you...
19:05That you don't even realize...
19:07That your neck is exposed.
19:10Enough...
19:11To be locked off...
19:13By a public...
19:15So thirsty to taste the blood...
19:17Of greedy celebrities.
19:19So when they come...
19:23And they will...
19:25Who are they gonna come after, huh?
19:28The sweet, hapless boob?
19:31Or the slick-talking, scheming millennial?
19:36So I ask you...
19:41Bitch...
19:44Who was really enjoying this?
19:48Who was really in charge here?
19:55Boom.
19:57And that, my friends...
19:59Is acting.
20:02What?
20:03Wow!
20:04What?
20:05Oh, wait, what?
20:06That was all fake?
20:07Get it all off.
20:08Fake, fake, fake, fake.
20:09No offense to anything I said.
20:10I was just joking.
20:11But I do love to perform.
20:13I do. It's in my blood.
20:14You got the stuff.
20:15You should consider doing a drama, Mr. Middle.
20:17You really should consider doing drama.
20:19I think you got the goods, man.
20:20I said, listen, do you guys want to invest?
20:22Boss?
20:23Fuck no.
20:24Fuck no!
20:25Fuck no!
20:26Fuck no!
20:27Of course not!
20:28I don't want to spend another moment with you crazies.
20:29Not another minute.
20:30You people are insane.
20:31Get me off this plane!
20:32Get me off this plane!
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