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00:00Let's be honest, the chance to control photons and force fields to create literally anything
00:04from our imagination leaves us with a wide open field of what we can do on a holodeck.
00:10It also leaves things open to get really weird.
00:16With that in mind, I'm Sean Ferrick for Trek Culture and here are the 10 weirdest holodeck
00:20episodes.
00:22Number 10.
00:23Emergence.
00:24No, it's not another one of Kenneth Branagh's Agatha Christie adaptations.
00:27It's just a holographic mashup on the Orient Express.
00:29Have your tickets at the ready for Keystone and new Vertiform City.
00:33As detailed in the Star Trek The Next Generation Companion, Branagh Braga had wanted one last
00:38trip to the holodeck before the end of TNG.
00:40His idea to revisit Dixon Hill was rejected in favour of the ultimate holodeck show and
00:44that's certainly what we got.
00:46When Data, Worf and Riker re-enter the holodeck in emergence, Data estimates that one scene
00:50alone consists of portions of seven distinct holodeck programmes.
00:54As if the final product weren't odd enough, the first draft of the script was apparently
00:58even weirder, as producer showrunner Jerry Taylor is cited as saying in The Next Gen
01:02Companion.
01:03Cliff Boll, the episode's director, further commented, I thought Joe Minoski, who wrote
01:07the telepray for emergence, might have had a couple of mushrooms when he wrote that first
01:10script.
01:11For the sake of the filming schedule, things had to be pared down from extremely mad to
01:14just mad.
01:15The final episode is that the Enterprise D itself is becoming sentient and is, in essence,
01:19having a baby.
01:20The holodeck then is becoming a manifestation of the ship's rudimentary but developing psyche.
01:25Ultimately, the weirdest thing about emergence is that we've never seen nor heard of the
01:29Enterprise D's offspring since it flew the nest.
01:32Number 9 Unexpected There are only two relatively brief scenes
01:36on the Xyrillian version of a holodeck in this episode of Enterprise, but the first odd in
01:41and of itself sets off a whole chain of bizarre events.
01:43The lesson is never stick your hands in alien granules, even if they are just re-sequenced
01:47photons.
01:48This is one situation that never taught you in sex education.
01:51Being the prequel that it was, the inclusion of holodeck type technology in Enterprise was
01:55more unusual to the characters than it could have been for the viewer.
01:58It's little wonder that Trip had difficulty standing up straight in the boat and keeping
02:01his members out of strange objects.
02:04Upon seeing the holographic environment for the first time, the commander makes a comparison
02:07with the 3D simulator, presumably already commonplace on Earth, since it is already in our present
02:13day.
02:14By the end of Unexpected, the Klingons had also bullied the Xyrillians into giving them
02:17the holographic tech.
02:18As we all know, the Enterprise episode's title achieves its wordplay when Mr. Tucker falls
02:22not just nearly off the boat, pregnant too.
02:25Beyond the debates that have been had about this over the years, and rightly so, we can say
02:29that Connor Trenier certainly adds layers to the screwball comedy script he'd been given.
02:33Without his performance, the whole concept, and the nipple, might have just been a bit
02:36too weird.
02:37Number 8.
02:38Our Man Bashir.
02:39Star Trek is, no doubt, at its best and wackiest when the most elaborate of sci-fi premises
02:45are really just an excuse for a James Bond episode.
02:47The holodeck is already a great medium for the writers to let their imaginations run wild,
02:51but combine that with a complex transporter problem and you've hit peak weird.
02:54Julian Bashir, must avoid doing the James Bond reverse name thing, plays the titular role,
03:00and Garrick is the real Miss Moneypenny.
03:02Really, what could go wrong?
03:04If you thought Voyager was Cavalier with Azok's craft, DS9's runabout is barely on screen before
03:09it explodes in Iron Man Bashir.
03:11The transporter is knocked out of commission mid beam out, and Sisko, Dax, Kira, Worf,
03:16and O'Brien's patterns start to degrade in the buffer.
03:18Then, the holographic hijinks begin.
03:20Where to put all that data?
03:22You can't just dig out a couple of external hard drives, the solution is to transfer the
03:26information everywhere.
03:27All of the five physical patterns wind up on the holodeck with an initially baffled
03:32Garrick and Bashir, but their neural energy, because that has to be stored on the quantum
03:36level, finds its way to every last bit of computer memory the station has to offer.
03:42In modern parlance, they'd been uploaded to the cloud.
03:44Bashir and Garrick are forced to play out the secret agent program to its conclusion with
03:47their friends and colleagues quite literally inhabiting the supporting roles.
03:52Number 7, 11001001 Without missing a bit, we've all tried, and
03:57probably failed, to recall what is undeniably one of the most unusual episode titles in all
04:01of Star Trek.
04:02If you do have trouble remembering it, you'll be thrilled to discover that 11001001 of Star
04:07Trek The Next Generation's first season was in fact called 10101001 in earlier drafts
04:14of the script.
04:15For the 8-bit binary sequence that was chosen, there are several solutions, but only really
04:19one interpretation that fits.
04:21Each binar has a bit-pair name, like 11, and there are always two binars together in
04:26a unified pair, like 10 and 01.
04:29The title is therefore 11 with 00, 10 with 01.
04:33Now, here's a quick question from the Starfleet Entrance Exam.
04:36If there's any kind of potential problem with the antimatter containment fields, you should
04:40a keep on painting, b notify the captain and first officer immediately, c not try to contact
04:47the captain and first officer until things get much worse, because they've got far more
04:50important things to do, like chatting up a hologram on the holodeck, or d blame Wesley.
04:54Well, we hope you answered correctly, because Data and Geordi certainly didn't.
04:58Meanwhile, Minuet's keeping Riker and Picard busy with some questionable French.
05:02Plus, let's just hope she was lying when she professed her love for Jazz.
05:06Not purging all that loosey-goosey out of the system again.
05:09Number 6.
05:10Author Author.
05:11A hologram who writes a holonovel in which the protagonist is an exaggerated version-ish
05:16of himself, the hologram, sounds these days less like science fiction, more like ChatGPT
05:21as having an early midlife crisis.
05:22Author Author is certainly up there with the Stranger episodes of Star Trek Full Stop,
05:27and not least for the moustache.
05:29Persons with vascular disorders should consult a physician before running this program.
05:32What happens on the holodeck rarely stays on the holodeck in Star Trek Voyager.
05:36In this case, it caused an inter-quadrantal incident.
05:39The Doctor's Star Trek Vortex, the B-movie, might well have been about as subtle as a Ferengi
05:44mating dance, his write-what-you-know feeling at times more like a transcription, but that
05:49was rather the point, to tell an important tale through his own lens.
05:54This was the there-it-sits moment for the Doctor and his fellow EMHs in a smoking jacket
05:58quill at the ready.
06:00Seeing Captain Jenkins phaser a crew member dead in sickbay was wild enough, but then things
06:05get even weirder when Lieutenant Marseille makes a few changes to the Doctor's working
06:12draft.
06:13All aboard the Starship Voyeur.
06:14The Doctor wasn't declared a person in the episode, but as an artist, he did get one up
06:19on the replicator.
06:20Number 5.
06:21Barclays.
06:22Many members of the Star Trek community can relate to Lieutenant Reginald Barclay, including
06:27those who are autistic.
06:28A stranger in a strange world, it is not he who is weird, but those around him.
06:33Barclays is a story of success, but only as much on his terms as the 24th century would
06:38seem to allow.
06:39There are limits to, of course, and fencing with holographic versions of the crew and
06:43creating the Goddess of Empathy was no doubt one of them.
06:46Frankly speaking, at the beginning of Hollow Pursuits, everyone around Barclay, aside
06:50from Guinan and Councillor Troy, acts like a bunch of jerks.
06:54The engineering team can't help but laugh at Barclay behind his back, adopting the derisive
06:58nickname invented by Wesley, who himself insists on talking over the Lieutenant whenever he
07:03gets the opportunity.
07:04Geordi is abrupt and abrasive, even wanting Barclay out of engineering, until Captain Picard
07:08tells him otherwise.
07:09All of Barclay's colleagues have to be persuaded to show him even a modicum of understanding
07:14and respect.
07:15Of course, all of that is, no doubt, the idea behind Hollow Pursuits, to shine a fictional
07:19light on real world issues.
07:21Nevertheless, it always strikes as odd that, by the 24th century, Barclay's difference
07:25remains a problem in need of a solution.
07:27That acceptance, understanding and adjustment in and of the workplace isn't a given.
07:32The matter is far from resolved for Barclay as he faces similar, although perhaps more
07:36well-intentioned, pushback from colleagues in the Star Trek Voyager episodes Pathfinder and
07:41Inside Man.
07:42Number four, A Fistful of Datas.
07:45Technically speaking, Barclay plays a formative role in this episode too, although he never
07:48makes a physical appearance.
07:50The young Alexander, sorry Worf, that would be your son, tells his father that the Lieutenant
07:55helped a little with his holoprogram.
07:57Originally called the good, the bad and the Klingon, A Fistful of Datas is really a mad triumph
08:02of Brent Spiner's.
08:03There are two rules of 90s Star Trek.
08:05First rule, everything that can go wrong will go wrong, especially during downtime.
08:10Second rule, Murphy's Law loves the holodeck.
08:12More precisely, if you hook Data up to the ship's computers and start tinkering around,
08:17something's going to malfunction in the weirdest way.
08:19The leverage in Data's positronic sub-processors sends ripples of the android throughout the
08:23ship and onto the holodeck where Troy, Worf and Alexander are playing their ancient western.
08:29There, Spiner runs the gamut of the weird and wonderful through Data's holographic doppelgangers.
08:33The impetus is also reversed in that Data himself starts behaving at moments like he's Clint
08:39Eastwood, from his accidental southern drawl to his cowboy swagger and misuse of a plant
08:44pot in the observation lounge.
08:45Patrick Stewart also pulled double duty as both actor in and director of this unorthodox
08:50but brilliant episode.
08:52Number 3 The Killing Game The cold opener gets the two-parter off to
08:57a start as it's bold as it is out of the ordinary.
09:00Captain Jamie's at Klingon now.
09:01No, wait, hang on, there's a Hirogen and he's calling Sickbay from holodeck 2 because
09:05he's just stabbed Janeway.
09:06What in the goddamn Delta Quadrant?
09:08Naturally, the Hirogen had conquered Voyager just to turn it into one giant holodeck for their
09:13sick little game.
09:14Klingon swordsmanship and heavy drinking aside, it's not long before Godwin's Law of Star
09:19Trek episodes kicks in and most of the crew find themselves believing they're in World
09:22War 2.
09:23Janeway switches roles with Chakotay as head of the resistance and Seven of Nine is cut off mid-song.
09:28Things just get weirder from there, not least with that pop quiz in the corridor.
09:32The Doctor didn't have to lug around his mobile emitter for a while at least, so that's
09:35something.
09:36Number 2 The Practical Joker
09:38Kirk is a jerk and Scotty is left pie-faced when the Enterprise computer starts to take
09:42on a mind of its own after its circuits are affected by highly charged subatomic particles.
09:48At first pulling relatively harmless pranks to amuse itself, the computer ups the ante by
09:52trapping Dr. McCoy, Sulu and Uhura in the Rec Room, the 23rd century equivalent of a holodeck.
09:57The environment switches from woodland to arctic blizzard to enormous hedge maze before two crew
10:02members managed to pry the doors open from the outside.
10:04Fourteen years before the events of The Practical Joker and 105 years after Unexpected, the USS
10:10Discovery had its own fairly realistic holographic simulation room used for target practice in
10:14the episode Leith.
10:16Gene Roddenberry had wanted to include a version of The Practical Joker's Rec Room in the third
10:20season of Star Trek the original series, but without even holographic dollars left in the
10:24budget, this would have to wait until Encounter at Farpoint.
10:27In all that time however, they still hadn't worked out the kinks.
10:30Number 1 These Are The Voyages
10:32It's the ending to Star Trek Enterprise nobody wanted, and the deleted scenes from The Pegasus
10:37nobody needed.
10:38As Brandon Braga once said, it was the only time Scott Bakula got pissed off at him, and frankly
10:43we don't blame him.
10:44After all, These Are The Voyages is a weird holodeck episode, and it's weird because it's a holodeck
10:48episode in the first place.
10:50As a series, Enterprise was coming to a very abrupt end.
10:53Cancellation had, alas, finally caught up with it.
10:55Producers had to do something for the very last episode, but instead they did this.
10:59A skip forward in time is fine, we can deal with that.
11:01If we aren't going to get three more seasons, at least we can catch a glimpse at where the
11:05story was headed.
11:06At the founding of the Federation, perhaps?
11:07It's all an illusion, however.
11:09Commander Riker stands up, freezes, saves, and ends the program.
11:13The main problem with having all of the 22nd century scenes set on the holodeck is that
11:17it leaves room for doubt.
11:19Maybe the program's off.
11:20As Deanna Troi herself says in the episode, the whole thing can only ever be the computer's
11:24interpretation of 209 year old events.
11:27For perspective, if not an entirely fair comparison, for us in 2024, that's as far back as the Battle
11:33of Waterloo.
11:34Star Trek Picard's third season confirmed that the NX-01 had been refitted, naturally, before
11:39decommissioning.
11:40But this wasn't included in Riker's holoprogram.
11:42With the historical veracity of These Are The Voyagers in more doubt than ever, therefore,
11:46we'd like to reiterate, Tripp's not dead.
11:49That's everything for this list, folks.
11:50Thank you so much, as ever, to the wonderful Jack Kiley for writing this for us, you absolute
11:55legend.
11:56Thank you very much, Tom, for making this list look pretty.
11:58Everyone, make sure that you're following us over on Twitter, at TrekCulture.
12:01We're also on Blue Sky and TikTok at TrekCulture as well.
12:04Make sure that you're following us on Instagram, at TrekCultureYT.
12:07You are awesome.
12:08You are wonderful.
12:09I hope that your 2024 has been good to you so far.
12:12If it hasn't, then it's only up from here.
12:14Be kind to yourself, be kind to everyone else, look after yourself and live long and prosper.
12:18Thanks very much.
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