Bigfoot VLOG  - I KNOCKED OUT YETI AND MADE PEACE WITH KEVIN - video Dailymotion

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00:00local authorities arrested two hunters today for setting the forest on fire a claim by the duo that

00:04a jamaican bigfoot did it has been dismissed as drug-induced mania the hunters are believed

00:09to have been faking bigfoot sightings when they accidentally started the fire in the forest

00:15they bought it they blame the hunters i am a criminal mastermind an untouchable hairy god

00:22of chaos i survived the great fire a trial and i have emerged stronger and look at this after

00:33almost dying you guys haven't left the subscriber count is holy it's almost at 90 000. you're not

00:39just subscribers no you're more than that you're followers you're disciples and if you are my

00:47disciples then that makes me your prophet it all makes sense now the fire was a test the

00:57jamaican transformation was a holy vision i have been chosen then it is official today i found a

01:04new religion the first church of the hairy survivor or footism for short thou shalt bring thy prophet

01:11that's me offerings of beef jerky and stolen beer the second commandment thou shalt not believe the

01:20bullshit of false idols especially that yee yee ass yeti from the other valley he is a false god every

01:26church needs an altar a holy place we will adorn it with sacred relics like this holy chalice of cheap

01:37logger and this shard of mystery my church is beautiful now we need to spread the good word

01:45we need to get more followers from the animal kingdom but wait a new religion needs more than just relics

01:54and new animal followers it needs action it needs a crusade my first act as your prophet will be to

02:01confront the false god himself that yee yee ass yeti i'm going to the yeti's cave

02:06it's time to have a theological debate with my fists we will march to the valley of the non-believer

02:15and we will show him the one true path the path of the foot this holy war is exhausting work

02:23but the righteous must persevere even with shitty cardio behold the valley of the damned and the

02:31profoundly stinky i can smell his farts from here time to go into crusade mode we will smite the

02:39non-believer where he sleeps or where he arranges his stupid rocks damn it he's awake so much for the

02:47smiting plan b yeti get your farting ass out here your new god has arrived to evict you did you just roll

02:59your eyes at your new god that's it you have chosen war you have ignored my divinity for the last time you

03:10overgrown fluff ball you better stay down or you get to taste these hands once more

03:26i rocks now asshole

03:37i have vanquished the non believer

03:45let the entire forest know did you see that total domination my divinity is confirmed

03:56i am the one true hairy god

03:58god ah kevin my old nemesis

04:06on this the day of my great victory a prophet must show mercy

04:10petty squabbles about acorns are beneath me now kevin i the hairy prophet have seen the light

04:17i forgive you come let us declare a holy truce witness this a bond between former enemies

04:25this is the true power of footism uniting the entire forest under my foot your acorn debt is

04:32forgiven my little brother now we shall celebrate this divine truce ah after a long day of holy war

04:41and showing mercy it is good to relax by the fire me and kevin we have come to an understanding

04:50we are truly one now he had to go he has achieved a higher purpose by becoming a holy sacrifice to my greatness

05:05and also my hunger it was mostly the hunger

05:09poor kevin

05:10and that my disciples is what righteousness tastes like

05:21a little nutty a little stringy

05:25and that's why you should always pay your debts

05:28let that be a lesson to all of you and guys thank you for being here for me i really appreciate it

05:34it this has been a weird couple of days new day tomorrow

05:42i'm gonna find a better and more beautiful part of this wood which isn't burned

05:47so guys that's all for today my profit duties are done i need a nap see you tomorrow stay hairy my friends

05:58bigfoot out

06:06you

Bigfoot VLOG - I KNOCKED OUT YETI AND MADE PEACE WITH KEVIN

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