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Transcript

00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords

00:00:30CastingWords

00:01:00CastingWords

00:01:02CastingWords

00:01:06CastingWords

00:01:08But we live in a permissive society.

00:01:10Not on this street we don't.

00:01:12Everybody's at it.

00:01:14Not with me they're not.

00:01:16Girls are supposed to be crying out for it.

00:01:18Not this one.

00:01:20I'm the silent majority.

00:01:22It's only manners these days.

00:01:24Total strangers do it now instead of shaking hands.

00:01:26God is Lord.

00:01:30Jesus.

00:01:31Jesus.

00:01:32Jesus.

00:01:34This is the end.

00:01:41Just dance.

00:01:43This is the end.

00:01:44we've never seen him in real life though

00:01:58and he's picturing the papers

00:02:00oh come on Sandra let's go

00:02:03no I don't want to

00:02:04but he might come in a minute

00:02:08he waited ages yesterday and he never turned up there

00:02:10but that was yesterday he might be here today

00:02:12come on we're supposed to be going shopping

00:02:16but he might please let's go

00:02:18oh no

00:02:23I told you so didn't I

00:02:25feel a right twit now

00:02:26I don't fancy yours

00:02:29which is mine

00:02:31any except the blonde

00:02:33oh good

00:02:36who are being stared at

00:02:38well

00:02:39don't fancy yours

00:02:43which is mine

00:02:46any

00:02:47except the blonde or the one with the yellow legs

00:02:49thanks

00:02:53neither do I

00:02:54fancy the one with the twitch

00:02:57about as much as Mountsy-Tung's granddad

00:03:02with all due respect

00:03:04to his granddad

00:03:05ask him if they do a turn

00:03:07you

00:03:09I thought we were giving sex up

00:03:11there's a protest at never getting any

00:03:12ignore them

00:03:14hi

00:03:23hi

00:03:25hi

00:03:26hi

00:03:27peace man

00:03:33were you er

00:03:35hoping to see Georgie Best

00:03:37he's in Mallorca

00:03:38come on then

00:03:40we only get an hour for lunch

00:03:42it's a discotheque in Albert Square

00:03:46come on

00:03:53I thought we were going for tights

00:03:56it's our lunch hour

00:03:59it's ours

00:04:01we were going for lunch

00:04:04shall I tell you something pretty mind-blowing about Mallorca

00:04:11it's one place I've never been

00:04:13pardon

00:04:15I'm Jeffrey

00:04:18I don't happen to be attached

00:04:21I'm Beryl

00:04:23I don't happen to be surprised

00:04:25don't you worry

00:04:43love and rainy weather may sound funny

00:04:48but they go together fine

00:04:53every single time

00:04:58first you're up there

00:05:04on another plane

00:05:06and then you're nowhere

00:05:08and the tears are raining down

00:05:12it's a run around

00:05:17love and rainy weather

00:05:22surely can get you down

00:05:28not going twisting tonight then

00:05:34that's the modern name for it isn't it

00:05:39what?

00:05:41cutting a rug

00:05:42pardon?

00:05:45grooving Mildred

00:05:46it's called grooving nowadays

00:05:48grooving and or freaking

00:05:50right?

00:05:51what I'm not doing tonight

00:05:52right

00:05:53right on

00:05:55you're staying in tonight then

00:05:57tonight

00:05:58tomorrow night

00:05:59every night

00:06:00they might sell me overcoat

00:06:03life's not all pleasure you know

00:06:05Mildred don't hassle the lad

00:06:08hustle

00:06:09it's a different world today Mildred

00:06:13we had a week's honeymoon in Blackpool

00:06:16for what this finny haddy cost

00:06:17they do their own thing

00:06:19the usual 1300 weight

00:06:22now that's the new world that we work for

00:06:26and fought for

00:06:28full page advert for contraception

00:06:31it's his birthright

00:06:32I'm not hungry

00:06:36what's that supposed to mean?

00:06:39it's the hip way cool people say

00:06:41I'm not hungry

00:06:43I enjoy staying in chatting of an evening

00:07:01I find it fantastically enjoyable

00:07:05no really

00:07:07I really do

00:07:08some people don't

00:07:11I do

00:07:13Beryl

00:07:14please take my word for it

00:07:16Paul McCartney's never going to ring that doorbell

00:07:18and invite you to the pictures

00:07:19Paul McCartney who?

00:07:21he doesn't know you've been faithful to him

00:07:22ever since our day's night

00:07:24and please don't say Paul McCartney who

00:07:26I sacrifice too much for your six old levels

00:07:29five

00:07:30you were terrific in the pictures

00:07:33I never touched you

00:07:35terrific self-control

00:07:37what did you say your name was?

00:07:43mind you just a weekend I do with you Paul

00:08:05not a dirty weekend

00:08:07a disgusting one

00:08:10night night

00:08:14Percy filth

00:08:17have you always been

00:08:25insatiable?

00:08:28it's not my fault

00:08:29it's just that I don't like blondes

00:08:32it's psychosomatic

00:08:37it's psychosomatic

00:08:37I'm sorry

00:08:41ah

00:08:46oh Sandra

00:09:04there is almost blonde in this light

00:09:07what's wrong?

00:09:14just being brave

00:09:15what about?

00:09:17ending it all

00:09:18before we hurt each other too much

00:09:22it's our first date

00:09:24I've probably wasted your entire evening

00:09:29haven't I?

00:09:31not yet

00:09:32not if your parents aren't back till midnight

00:09:34don't you think you're too old for this sort of thing?

00:09:41straight from Stanley Matthews to Bridget Bardot you went

00:09:44overnight overnight

00:09:45that was when you were too young for this sort of thing

00:09:48it's artistic mother

00:09:50like your Tutankhamen butter dish

00:09:53what?

00:10:03got it

00:10:04got what?

00:10:06you now ask

00:10:07if I never want to see you again

00:10:09I say I do

00:10:10you then stop crying

00:10:12quick as a flash

00:10:13and say something like

00:10:14how about Sunday

00:10:15half seven outside central library

00:10:17no I don't

00:10:18tomorrow

00:10:20half seven outside central library

00:10:21then when I say okay

00:10:24does your zip

00:10:25miraculously undo

00:10:26it does not

00:10:27thought it did

00:10:30not till you've unfastened the press

00:10:33stood

00:10:33I can see her doing your ironing

00:10:37and cooking

00:10:38and cleaning

00:10:39you wouldn't need to book for the Christmas pantomime

00:10:41I don't intend to marry her mother

00:10:43in case it interferes with my career

00:10:45we're just good friends

00:10:47good night

00:10:49Miss Bardot

00:11:03marry me

00:11:06you know what they say

00:11:10once you've had a Manchester lad

00:11:13you never touch anything else

00:11:14about time and all

00:11:31aye

00:11:32peace man

00:11:33did you have a good time this night?

00:11:38great

00:11:38this is you?

00:11:40satisfied

00:11:40I say it in for a change

00:11:42did you get much?

00:11:47did you?

00:11:52did you know that raping Princess Anne was a capital offence?

00:11:55not that I have done

00:11:56paid him for a change instead

00:12:12I have done

00:12:14I have done

00:12:15I have done

00:12:16now

00:12:16we are in the final line

00:12:18ticket

00:12:19I ain't got my ticket

00:12:20we're late already

00:12:22see you behind the goal then

00:12:25yes

00:12:26yes

00:12:28yes

00:12:29yes

00:12:30yes

00:12:31yes

00:12:32yes

00:12:33yes

00:12:34yes

00:12:35yes

00:12:36yes

00:12:37yes

00:12:38yes

00:12:39yes

00:12:40well

00:12:41tonight's beauty sleep's done nothing for her

00:12:43snooty old bag

00:12:45trendy

00:12:50crimson shoes with bottle green socks

00:12:53must be going steady with a set of traffic lights

00:12:56still

00:12:58who else would have him

00:12:59anyway

00:13:01they're all the same in the dark

00:13:02rumour has it

00:13:04different girl every night

00:13:12it's all the type

00:13:13probably an omen seeing her before the match

00:13:17bet we lose

00:13:193-1

00:13:20well I'm certainly not making the first move

00:13:23at least I've got me proud

00:13:25oh hello

00:13:26oh hi

00:13:29hi

00:13:30didn't see you

00:13:31you're going that way

00:13:35yeah

00:13:35not especially no

00:13:37you're going that

00:13:39yeah

00:13:40well

00:13:41um

00:13:41no

00:13:42I was

00:13:43I sort of

00:13:44going to the football match

00:13:45are you

00:13:46shopping

00:13:47I'm probably going to the pictures tonight

00:13:55I am

00:13:56which

00:13:56which are you

00:13:57any

00:13:58I am

00:13:59see you then

00:14:07tonight

00:14:08pardon

00:14:09oh

00:14:10I

00:14:11all right then

00:14:12right

00:14:13super socks

00:14:21did you see that

00:14:26they're all on drugs

00:14:27the lot of them

00:14:28he score

00:14:46losing 3-1

00:14:49excuse me I

00:15:04excuse me I

00:15:18I only go to restaurants with deaf waiters

00:15:24ah

00:15:26hi

00:15:29hello mate

00:15:32peace man

00:15:34surprise surprise

00:15:35surprise

00:15:36in anywhere controversial

00:15:37pictures

00:15:38the boyfriend

00:15:39she's slim

00:15:41I'm just going to the

00:15:42oh I'll come with you

00:15:43are you and Beryl

00:15:47um

00:15:48you know

00:15:52oh

00:15:54would you

00:16:03what do you sort of reckon

00:16:06she's a

00:16:07fair sort of bird

00:16:10sorry sorry

00:16:11she's all right

00:16:13I mean nothing sensational

00:16:17obviously

00:16:17Geoffrey

00:16:18she's a bird

00:16:20you having a coffee with us

00:16:25no thanks kid

00:16:26Neville's ravenous

00:16:27you've just eaten

00:16:29oh of course

00:16:32yeah

00:16:32sorry

00:16:32you see

00:16:36what I thought Ken

00:16:37was all this

00:16:38trying to do

00:16:39by implication

00:16:40probably by implication

00:16:42was to allow the images

00:16:44to provoke a moral response

00:16:45from our own aesthetic judgment

00:16:47you see

00:16:47yes

00:16:49was he the errand boy

00:16:52was he the errand boy

00:16:53Ken Thingy

00:16:54he directed it

00:16:56oh

00:16:57yes

00:16:58I was probably thinking

00:17:01of Andy Warhol

00:17:01probably

00:17:03you're not like other boys

00:17:09at all are you

00:17:10well

00:17:12probably a little more mature

00:17:13that's all

00:17:13it's over 200 yards

00:17:15from the cinema

00:17:16and you talk to me

00:17:17the whole way

00:17:17like a person

00:17:19other boys seem to have

00:17:23one-trap minds these days

00:17:24sex

00:17:26marriage

00:17:27pardon

00:17:28the number of boys

00:17:30that asked me to marry them

00:17:31a couple of dates

00:17:32and pal

00:17:33they want to get married

00:17:34I want to live a bit

00:17:36before I get married

00:17:37I suppose I just don't

00:17:38have a hang up about it

00:17:39get married

00:17:42hmm

00:17:42no

00:17:44actually I find girls

00:17:50most girls

00:17:50it is

00:17:51a bit upset

00:17:53yes these days

00:17:54not marriage

00:17:56no

00:17:57sex

00:17:58percifilf

00:18:00sex

00:18:04that's what I said

00:18:05oh

00:18:06well I'm not like that

00:18:09not percifilf motivated

00:18:11no

00:18:12no

00:18:14did you want to say

00:18:27any more about Andy Warhol

00:18:29Ken Russell

00:18:30yeah

00:18:30no

00:18:31this is it

00:18:39I won't come in

00:18:53with it being our first date

00:18:54no

00:18:55oh

00:18:56anywhere me mum's gone to bed

00:18:58we'd be on our own

00:18:59is that a reason for me not coming in

00:19:01though

00:19:02yes Jeffrey

00:19:03nice house

00:19:14thank you

00:19:1525 year mortgage

00:19:18well thanks for seeing me home

00:19:24funny isn't it

00:19:28first date with someone

00:19:30it always leads to one of three things

00:19:33either nothing

00:19:35or something

00:19:37or everything

00:19:41or everything

00:19:41well don't think about percifilf at this stage Beryl

00:19:45you're not

00:19:47no I'm not

00:19:49night night god bless

00:19:53I won't give you my phone number

00:20:06in case you think I'm one of those scheming females

00:20:08what is it

00:20:093274421

00:20:11the easy way to remember it is

00:20:13the three and the two make five

00:20:14which is two less than seven

00:20:15then two fours

00:20:16and half of four which is two

00:20:18and half of two which is one

00:20:19um

00:20:20but you mustn't ring me if you don't want

00:20:21no

00:20:22but you can if you do

00:20:23do you want me to

00:20:25not if you'd rather not

00:20:263274421

00:20:29night

00:20:52well hello mrs. battersby

00:21:02Beryl's brought you up a cup of tea

00:21:04oh they all have a past life flashed before me then

00:21:07can't be mother's day

00:21:12you'd have forgotten

00:21:13has there been any clips

00:21:16mom

00:21:17i want the benefit of your experience

00:21:20what do you think of andy warhol

00:21:23you see jeffrey has this theory that

00:21:26by implication

00:21:27who's jeffrey

00:21:28of course jeffrey knows about these things

00:21:30oh

00:21:31these things

00:21:32everything

00:21:33who's jeffrey

00:21:35he's fantastically intelligent

00:21:37see jeffrey's idea

00:21:39beryl ooze jeffrey

00:21:41oh no one

00:21:43no one's special

00:21:49his name's jeffrey

00:21:54how did this beryl bird turn out last night then

00:22:01what beryl bird

00:22:02i told him

00:22:04did she uh

00:22:05did she uh

00:22:07what

00:22:09wow

00:22:13she doesn't then

00:22:16you don't listen do you

00:22:18i said

00:22:19how about sundry

00:22:20chips

00:22:24jams

00:22:25sod

00:22:26not seen him tonight

00:22:32then

00:22:33who

00:22:37i've rather better things to do thank you

00:22:44said he was no one special

00:22:54got a phone here

00:22:56why

00:22:58they haven't have they

00:23:01do you want to get some nookie lined up or something

00:23:04if i did do you think i'd be playing darts with you two

00:23:07look are you fed up here

00:23:09are you

00:23:11we'll split after this game

00:23:13anything you say

00:23:14and go for a few of the king's head

00:23:15great

00:23:17and that ends our probe

00:23:19well

00:23:20well

00:23:20monday tomorrow

00:23:22hallelujah

00:23:23pardon

00:23:24i don't know what you're paying for that phone but whatever it is you're being done

00:23:28good night

00:23:29good morning

00:23:44john for pope long may you reign

00:23:56amen

00:23:58what's going on

00:24:11pounds up again

00:24:13pounds up again

00:24:14oh god

00:24:15oh god

00:24:16today's special

00:24:18bloody travelers checks

00:24:19here

00:24:20suddenly everyone's going on holiday

00:24:22except those

00:24:23enjoy yourself while you're young

00:24:26why don't we always do that

00:24:45twenty three times a day

00:24:46we never see anything

00:24:48we never see anything

00:24:52we never see anything

00:25:13my timing not disturbing your singing i hope

00:25:16see jeffrey on sunday

00:25:17oh jeffrey

00:25:20jeffrey

00:25:22that neville's the greatest

00:25:27is he dishy or is he dishy

00:25:31you never promise he's going to take this

00:25:33i'm considering packing jeffrey in

00:25:35one date was enough

00:25:37why

00:25:38he's cancer and i'm libra

00:25:41is that bad

00:25:42hopeless

00:25:43actually i'm slightly off the male gender at the moment

00:25:48five

00:25:58five

00:25:59five which is which is three and two is five which is two less than seven

00:26:05which is

00:26:06i see the spanish police are throwing your lot out of ibiza

00:26:11bank clerks

00:26:12your lot

00:26:13football supporters

00:26:14hippies

00:26:15oh my lot

00:26:16at the third stroke it will be seven twenty two and forty seconds

00:26:21it will be seven twenty two and fifty seconds

00:26:36that's it then fate all over by seven twenty three precisely

00:26:42so what

00:26:45plenty more where she came from

00:26:49is that the speaking clock

00:26:53is that jeffrey

00:26:55is that beryl

00:26:56yes

00:26:57yes

00:26:58yes

00:26:59hi

00:27:00hi

00:27:01hi

00:27:03it's terrifically exciting isn't it getting to know a person

00:27:24fantastic

00:27:25i want to know all about you

00:27:32that's what it's all about

00:27:33for example with things in common already

00:27:38definitely

00:27:39like what

00:27:42we're enormously fond of animals

00:27:49right

00:27:51and we're both from manchester

00:27:57have you ever been abroad

00:27:59no

00:28:01have you

00:28:02no

00:28:03unless you count istanbul

00:28:05is that

00:28:06was it beyond belief

00:28:08i don't know i was only three

00:28:12do you ever get the feeling you've been somewhere before

00:28:18sometimes

00:28:19i do

00:28:21what now

00:28:24no

00:28:26just

00:28:27just sometimes

00:28:28yes i do

00:28:32such a lot isn't there

00:28:38in getting to know a person

00:28:43he was live and easy-limbed

00:28:48his stride quietly casual

00:28:51his eyes clear and confident

00:28:53and his strong mouth ready to break into a relaxed assured lopsided grin

00:28:59you know jeffrey

00:29:04you have a really lopsided grin

00:29:07really

00:29:08you know lopsided

00:29:09i don't think i have

00:29:13it's in the eye of the beholder

00:29:15see

00:29:18jeffrey doesn't need someone else when he's tying a knot

00:29:22he holds it down with his little finger

00:29:25it must be marvelous being a man

00:29:28it's okay i suppose

00:29:31men can do anything

00:29:32conquer everest

00:29:34do heart transplants

00:29:36become leader of the opposition

00:29:38anything

00:29:40anything

00:29:41jeffrey

00:29:50no spells no

00:29:51it's good for your circulation beryl

00:29:54read any women's magazine

00:29:56it's good for theirs too

00:29:57i'm not sure they recommend percy filth on tuesdays

00:30:00i only see you on tuesdays and saturdays

00:30:03all saturdays

00:30:07beryl

00:30:11beryl

00:30:12oh jeffrey bobbles bumble

00:30:14oh beryl

00:30:15oh jeffrey

00:30:17oh beryl

00:30:19are you all right what exactly happened don't tell me

00:30:21i just fell a sharp achak of dramatic irony

00:30:24pardon

00:30:30come back

00:30:31they're better

00:30:32it's better

00:30:33i'm okay

00:30:34i told you it's going to pour

00:30:39it's not

00:30:40it's not

00:30:41it's only the angels crying

00:30:50i know how they feel

00:30:53well don't blame me i haven't done anything

00:30:56that's true

00:30:57that's not true beryl i have apologized

00:31:01i keep going down on me knees when i'm talking to you

00:31:04independent observers think i'm training to be a cossack dancer

00:31:07it must be a bad line i can't hear you

00:31:10you'd better apologize again

00:31:12i apologize again

00:31:15gosh this lousy line

00:31:18i wonder if jeffrey would like to come to tea on sunday

00:31:23pardon

00:31:25pardon

00:31:26pardon

00:31:27is that who i think it is

00:31:30no dear

00:31:32well isn't this nice

00:31:45sardine sandwich

00:31:49is it all sardine?

00:31:50yeah

00:31:51she's got her own trawler

00:31:53isn't it awful

00:32:01what?

00:32:02i was speaking to jeffrey

00:32:04what's happening in the world

00:32:05i blame the politicians

00:32:07what for?

00:32:08for what's happening

00:32:10in the world

00:32:14talk to her

00:32:17i can't speak portuguese

00:32:19tasty

00:32:21very in oil

00:32:23nice in oil

00:32:24she's got a bad leg

00:32:26the bread's extremely wholesome

00:32:29i have this little baker down the road

00:32:32he does something with the bleach

00:32:34yes

00:32:36can't do long conversations about sardine sandwiches

00:32:46your mind goes blank

00:32:48start thinking about life after death

00:32:52oh that neville honestly

00:32:59number of hearts he must have broken

00:33:02every girl in manchester nearly

00:33:04jeffrey definitely has

00:33:07probably even more

00:33:09air hostesses

00:33:11all sorts

00:33:13tell me about your terrible past jeffrey

00:33:15i haven't had one yet

00:33:18white man speak with forked tongue

00:33:21actually i was hoping more for a terrible future

00:33:23hmm

00:33:24wow is that the time

00:33:30at this moment in time

00:33:32what have i done?

00:33:34is neville the insanely jealous type?

00:33:36right in the slightest

00:33:37you're lucky

00:33:38why is jeffrey

00:33:39wow

00:33:40you're not jealous of all my ex flames are you?

00:33:42course not

00:33:43why should i be?

00:33:44please stop interrogating me jeffrey

00:33:45forget it

00:33:46that's all in the past

00:33:47then nothing to be jealous about

00:33:48who needs drama?

00:33:50so i shouted back at her

00:34:05no shop assistant shouts at me i shouted

00:34:07in the end neville nearly bolted me for swearing

00:34:09he thumped you

00:34:11walloped you on?

00:34:13no i said nearly

00:34:16you'll never thump me will you?

00:34:21like neville does sandra

00:34:23she adores it

00:34:25of course not

00:34:27no

00:34:29jeffrey

00:34:31percy filth isn't the only thing in life

00:34:33isn't even one of the things in mine

00:34:35you used to talk to me

00:34:36all right

00:34:37let's talk

00:34:39jeffrey i've just had the most super idea

00:34:45why is your mum going out?

00:34:50may as well pack in really

00:34:53why?

00:34:55why not?

00:34:58good thinking

00:35:06thanks for a stimulating few weeks

00:35:08you too it was real

00:35:10psychedelic

00:35:12you can keep me grateful dead lp

00:35:14was scratched anyway

00:35:15it's been a gas

00:35:17groovy

00:35:18i won't wave from the window

00:35:21no i won't look back anyway

00:35:23good

00:35:24it's been a gas

00:35:25you've said that once

00:35:27once

00:35:37you're well red barrel

00:35:38there's plenty more fish in the sea

00:35:42about three very lonely sardines

00:35:47mother please don't try raising one eyebrow at me

00:35:49you know you can't do it

00:35:50you'll never thong me will you jeffrey

00:35:59ow

00:36:00beryl i've just had the most super idea

00:36:02are we going to put it in?

00:36:03no

00:36:04we're going to pack it in

00:36:06don't say that please don't say that

00:36:08that

00:36:09that

00:36:11Sandra

00:36:12Sandra

00:36:13Sandra

00:36:14you're Sandra

00:36:15mine

00:36:19two months

00:36:20two months nine days

00:36:23is she positive?

00:36:25the test was

00:36:26what are you going to do?

00:36:28she'll think of something

00:36:29Sandra it's stupendous

00:36:31congratulations

00:36:32i hope you'll both be very happy

00:36:34oh thanks kid

00:36:36Sandra i don't know how you do it

00:36:39often

00:36:41i don't know how you do it

00:36:43often

00:37:01What it's a sad part

00:37:06iո

00:37:16the

00:37:18i

00:37:19i

00:37:21i

00:37:23the

00:37:24the

00:37:25the

00:37:28the

00:37:28John for Pope, along my reign.

00:37:47Aren't you, uh...

00:37:49Yeah.

00:37:52And you're, uh...

00:37:54That's right.

00:37:56Going somewhere incredible.

00:37:57I'm meeting me parents.

00:37:59Taking them to see Fiddler on the roof.

00:38:01That's pretty incredible.

00:38:03Your mummy and daddy.

00:38:06Uh...

00:38:07Oh, hell no, that's tomorrow.

00:38:10If I'm in the mood.

00:38:13Where you are.

00:38:15Depends where you take me.

00:38:27All I was saying about your friend with the glasses...

00:38:30Rowland.

00:38:31Rowland.

00:38:32Is that I found him intellectually unaware and psychologically incredibly boring.

00:38:36It's not bad at snooker.

00:38:40And how are you and little Beryl?

00:38:43Didn't she tell you?

00:38:44I don't work there anymore.

00:38:47I packed her in.

00:38:49Good.

00:38:50Did she turn you on?

00:38:58Beryl?

00:38:59Yeah.

00:39:03I hadn't really looked.

00:39:06Seen one.

00:39:07You seen them all.

00:39:10Not quite all.

00:39:12I'll go and get me coat.

00:39:13It looks to be my birthday.

00:39:25Boys aren't the only thing in life, Beryl.

00:39:29I do wish you'd find one.

00:39:34They aren't all after Percy, Philz.

00:39:37Yes, they are.

00:39:39Mmm.

00:39:39Oh, you were terrific, um, boss.

00:39:43Was I?

00:39:45Mmm.

00:39:47Terrific self-control.

00:39:50Joan of Arc never married, yet she led a full and happy life.

00:39:54Or am I thinking of someone else?

00:39:56Mother, I don't happen to be interested in boys.

00:39:59I happen to be interested in having early nights and writing poetry in bed with me Moe Felt-tip pen.

00:40:03It's run out of ink.

00:40:04I used it for me laundry list.

00:40:07My God, your generation's got a few things to answer for.

00:40:10Mmm.

00:40:12Mmm.

00:40:12Mmm, please.

00:40:13Mmm, don't.

00:40:15Please.

00:40:16You can't ravish a girl on her own doorstep.

00:40:20Well, let's go inside, then.

00:40:23Smooth-talking bastard.

00:40:30It is me birthday.

00:40:34What about the boy with the freckles from Shakespeare Crescent?

00:40:37I don't believe that question.

00:40:38You used to be crazy about him.

00:40:42I was 11 years old.

00:40:44He used to let me chalk on his tortoise.

00:40:46Yes.

00:41:09Mmm.

00:41:10what's your name again what's yours rock that's not your real name

00:41:21no Stephen

00:41:24God that turns me on

00:41:28when I first met you in the street

00:41:36I thought just a quiet drink and a chat shows you the art of conversation ain't dead

00:41:42don't move a muscle however gorgeous

00:42:06testing testing oh Jeffrey Milleup returns to the day

00:42:19I wish you everything you've ever wished yourself

00:42:22I'm fed up

00:42:40who are you

00:42:43who are you

00:42:44what are you fed up about

00:42:47teachers don't have to do homework

00:42:50no

00:42:51they just mark it

00:42:53anyone can mark it

00:42:56they've got the answers

00:42:57do you know it's after two o'clock

00:43:05what's he doing here then

00:43:06well

00:43:09this is your uncle Stephen

00:43:12this is my revolting brother Jeremy

00:43:16how do you do

00:43:20don't my mum and dad know he's here

00:43:22Jeremy bed

00:43:23I could always wake them up and tell them

00:43:25Jeremy

00:43:26little boys need sleep

00:43:30even big astronauts

00:43:33do you know where babies come from

00:43:36do you

00:43:39say no

00:43:41no

00:43:41I do

00:43:42say yes

00:43:43shall I tell you

00:43:44he knows

00:43:45the man has this male organ

00:43:47and some blood cells

00:43:49and erectile glands

00:43:50and there's these 500 million spermatozoas

00:43:53in these testes

00:43:54that he has as well

00:43:55and he goes through his male organ

00:43:57into the female uterus

00:43:58that the lady has

00:43:59who told you that

00:44:01then they go to the fallopian tubes

00:44:03after that

00:44:04one of them fertilizes

00:44:05with the female egg

00:44:06the others don't bother

00:44:08anyway

00:44:09that's what you have to do

00:44:10then you have a baby

00:44:12did they teach you that at school

00:44:15they do woodwork

00:44:17in the next class

00:44:17people can only make babies

00:44:20at certain times of the year

00:44:21but animals

00:44:22like dogs and cats

00:44:23and rats

00:44:24I think

00:44:25do it all the time

00:44:26no

00:44:29that's people

00:44:31what is

00:44:33well

00:44:36people

00:44:37do it all the time

00:44:38whenever they feel like it

00:44:43in the next class

00:44:48you can do metal work

00:44:49if you don't like woodwork

00:44:50goodnight jeremy

00:44:5325p

00:44:5650

00:44:5750

00:45:00goodnight uncle steven

00:45:11would you care for a government health warning

00:45:28hey veronica

00:45:32yes

00:45:33who the hell's uncle steven

00:45:35at 10 past 2 in the morning

00:45:36a friend of jeremy's

00:45:38he's going now

00:45:39goodnight love

00:45:42we would have done that wouldn't we

00:45:46and how

00:45:48you can't win them all

00:45:52can you

00:45:53anyway

00:45:54do you good going without

00:45:55for a change

00:45:56still there's always another day

00:46:03tomorrow

00:46:04no

00:46:05tomorrow's another day

00:46:08shh

00:46:09not unless you happen to be in Plymouth

00:46:11where

00:46:13i'm joining the wrens for three years

00:46:15what wrens

00:46:18the royal navy's wrens

00:46:21this time tomorrow i'll be in barracks with about 50 other girls and 30,000 sailors

00:46:27hope i like it

00:46:29well

00:46:33thanks for nearly everything

00:46:36we definitely would have done wouldn't we

00:46:39well obviously

00:46:40well we

00:46:41we're as good as dead

00:46:42in a way really

00:46:43almost

00:46:44just keep telling yourself and we will have

00:46:47only better

00:46:48goodnight lover

00:46:50try a barrel

00:46:52morning previous generation

00:47:16what's for breakfast

00:47:24you knew it was your mother's birthday

00:47:30now what we'd like to know

00:47:31is where were you while we were fiddling on the flaming roof

00:47:34i'm sorry mum

00:47:35i'll take you out another night

00:47:37something cropped up

00:47:38like what

00:47:39dad

00:47:41you understand

00:47:42i don't jeffrey

00:47:45well you always say you do

00:47:47jeffrey

00:47:49you're at it every night

00:47:50yes dad

00:47:52and we don't complain

00:47:53no dad

00:47:53but last night was different

00:47:55i knew you'd understand

00:47:57you know

00:48:12MUSIC

00:48:26Charlton for Pope. Long me reign. Amen.

00:48:30What's going on? Pound's down again. Up and down like a pair of knickers.

00:48:35You should know. Or me.

00:48:39Know what I mean? What a night. Wow.

00:48:44A lot.

00:48:47Including action replays in slow motion.

00:48:53Hey lads, I picked up a bit of spare last night. Who didn't?

00:48:57No, it's true.

00:49:00Yes, Geoffrey. It is. Yes, Geoffrey.

00:49:09Bloody yes.

00:49:12Poor Geoffrey.

00:49:14Beryl, please. It's Neville's engagement party as well. He had to invite him.

00:49:18He'll see me. It's cruel.

00:49:21He'll see other girls.

00:49:23I shan't take him back, Sandra.

00:49:26I shan't.

00:49:28It's been two weeks. He may have got over you by now.

00:49:32Don't know much about men, do you, love?

00:49:36It was doing him a kindness, really. Finally splitting up.

00:49:51He only had one ambition in life. Send my knickers to Oxfam.

00:50:10Good job she hasn't joined the rent. The entire Navy had gone strike.

00:50:17I expect he's sorry now.

00:50:20I won't even consider taking him back if he isn't.

00:50:23She might have changed, of course.

00:50:26If she has, I might let her have the old orgy now and again.

00:50:29He's got to accept we've finally split up. Otherwise, I definitely won't take him back.

00:50:35Well, I'm certainly not making the first move.

00:50:41At least I've got me pride.

00:50:44I left with Beryl, baby. Oh, hi.

00:50:47Didn't see you. No, nor me.

00:50:50And how's Manchester City doing without me cheering them on, then?

00:50:54United. We're winning every game now.

00:50:57Oh, good.

00:50:59And what's new with Geoffrey, then?

00:51:05Er, I asked you what was new with you.

00:51:08Oh, that's a good one.

00:51:13Did you?

00:51:14Need I say more?

00:51:16Pardon?

00:51:17And how's Beryl, baby, getting on, then?

00:51:20Geoffrey, I'm not all that ecstatic about you calling me Beryl, baby.

00:51:24It isn't like you.

00:51:26Said me that again. Beryl, baby.

00:51:29What's your name, handsome?

00:51:32You laugh. Everybody laughs.

00:51:35It's the story of my life.

00:51:38You tell it like it is, Chuck.

00:51:47She's got on an act.

00:51:49What do you care?

00:51:51I don't have all babies.

00:51:59Is she going to get into bed with him now?

00:52:03Probably.

00:52:07Geoffrey always looks half asleep these days.

00:52:10Well, it's very exhausting.

00:52:13What is?

00:52:16Working in a bank.

00:52:17I had this bad seat with this chick and decided to split.

00:52:30So I cut out, man, like there's no tomorrow.

00:52:36This cat gets it together where he's at, man.

00:52:41Lots of beautiful bags, baby.

00:52:44So if you want a piece of the action,

00:52:47don't cool it.

00:52:50Dig?

00:52:55Sorry, I no understand English.

00:53:04Gesundheit.

00:53:05I thought she'd only just been to bed with the other one.

00:53:10She has.

00:53:12And which is her husband?

00:53:14Neither.

00:53:19It's warming up, isn't it?

00:53:28Great beat, isn't it?

00:53:30Great to dance to.

00:53:32Do you agree that life's an onion?

00:53:37If so, what's death?

00:53:39Erm...

00:53:41A banana.

00:53:43Yes, I expect it is when you think about it.

00:53:45Have you read Schopenhauer's Concept of Existence?

00:53:47Erm...

00:53:49No.

00:53:51But I've seen the film.

00:53:54Are you married?

00:53:56No.

00:53:58Grab yourself an adage.

00:54:00Marriage is a cabbage.

00:54:02Are you a poet?

00:54:04Never ask the questions.

00:54:05Ask the answers.

00:54:07You are a poet.

00:54:08To any manager, Marks and Spencer's.

00:54:09Good job.

00:54:11Are you a poet?

00:54:13Never ask the questions.

00:54:14Ask the answers.

00:54:16You are a poet.

00:54:19To any manager, Marks and Spencer's.

00:54:22Good job.

00:54:25I really dare you.

00:54:27Now he's taking his clothes off.

00:54:31What's on ITV?

00:54:33This.

00:54:35What's on BBC?

00:54:39Cutting over.

00:54:41What's that like?

00:54:43This.

00:54:45Oh, come on now.

00:54:47You know that's not where it's at.

00:54:49Let's get this...

00:54:50What's the word?

00:54:52Let's get it clear.

00:54:54Let's get down to the real nitty gritties, Phil.

00:54:56OK?

00:54:57Mm.

00:55:06Women's lip is not about burning bras.

00:55:10Papers, yeah.

00:55:12What papers?

00:55:14A marriage certificate.

00:55:15A dog's license.

00:55:16Whatever you prefer to call it.

00:55:18Look, let's be basic about this, Enid.

00:55:20All girls want marriage.

00:55:21And a white wedding.

00:55:23Really basic.

00:55:24You want to be really basic.

00:55:25Utterly basic.

00:55:27Bulls.

00:55:29Grass?

00:55:31Enid.

00:55:33When Sandra says every girl, she means most girls.

00:55:36Well, like herself.

00:55:38Not me, of course, because I incredibly value my independence.

00:55:41But most girls definitely want...

00:55:43Bulls!

00:55:45If you can't conduct an intelligent conversation without recourse to...

00:55:48I'm not recourseing to anything.

00:55:49I'm merely telling you what girls want.

00:55:51What?

00:55:52Bulls!

00:55:53Oh!

00:55:54Would you please stop saying that?

00:55:57You believe in free love, right?

00:55:58You're wrong!

00:55:59I believe in free everything.

00:56:01Freedom from all male chauvinist pig domination.

00:56:04Honestly, don't you understand?

00:56:05Excuse me, you've got your hand on me...

00:56:06If we're liberating society for the future, I'm sure...

00:56:09No, thank you!

00:56:10Excuse me, you've got your hand on me...

00:56:12No!

00:56:13Oh!

00:56:14Oh, sorry!

00:56:15Wow, man!

00:56:16Sorry!

00:56:17It's all right.

00:56:18Oh, gee!

00:56:19It's a pleasure.

00:56:20Grass?

00:56:21Geoffrey, if not to.

00:56:22Why not?

00:56:23I said don't.

00:56:24You're not to smoke it.

00:56:25Oh, wow.

00:56:26We're as liberated as you, Enid.

00:56:27We've equal importance as individuals.

00:56:28Neither of us is boss.

00:56:29It just doesn't arise.

00:56:30Oh, well.

00:56:31We're as liberated as you, Enid.

00:56:32We've equal importance as individuals.

00:56:33Neither of us is boss.

00:56:34Just doesn't arise.

00:56:35Go make some coffee, kid.

00:56:36You see, what we've...

00:56:37Now!

00:56:38You see...

00:56:39Well, one, I can see there's only one way to get through.

00:56:42What are you doing?

00:56:43Lighting everybody's fire.

00:56:57Burn my bra.

00:56:58through you doing lighting everybody's fire burn my bra right that's it finished the end full stop

00:57:19we've finally split up neville sandra wants you i should imagine

00:57:24sad isn't it pathetic

00:57:35well i can't follow plays these days it's just showing real life that's all

00:57:40i once thought i'd found her the perfect girl red hair

00:57:52not too skinny very gentle and shy

00:57:59passionate when roused

00:58:03i should pack me in for picking my teeth with a matchstick

00:58:06you're very sweet roland i've always thought you were

00:58:10did you know you very nearly have a lopsided grin

00:58:17it's just i'm a bit tired no it's nice

00:58:32i don't think i've washed that one oh

00:58:51do you know what beryl she can ask me anything

00:58:54do you know where jeffrey's got to

00:59:01he's upstairs i think

00:59:08is it true they're dry on their own

00:59:13usually

00:59:13i hate to be any trouble but i think i'm dying

00:59:22you'll be all right honest

00:59:24she said i shouldn't smoke it

00:59:26who

00:59:28she said

00:59:32jeffrey

00:59:35jeffrey

00:59:36sorry

00:59:49jeffrey

00:59:54move up a bit jeffrey put your legs

00:59:58that's better

01:00:02it's because it's your first time isn't it

01:00:06oh

01:00:10call dr wisebert quilmslow road

01:00:18it wasn't marijuana you know

01:00:23what was it then grass

01:00:27grass is marijuana

01:00:30this grass wasn't

01:00:33it was the real thing

01:00:36from the front lawn

01:00:46like you beryl

01:00:52had a nice time

01:00:54even though it's three o'clock in the morning

01:00:57not that i mind

01:00:58if you've had a nice time

01:01:00even though i've been in bed since 10 having a good night's worry

01:01:03day

01:01:05did you see jeffrey

01:01:10that's good

01:01:12Do you ever get the feeling you're trying too hard?

01:01:34I didn't try at all.

01:01:36Gave me to rest.

01:01:41I'm right off, birds.

01:01:43I am. I am.

01:01:46For good.

01:01:48Me too.

01:01:50And me.

01:02:10Good morning.

01:02:11Your mother would like to know if you have a reservation at this hotel.

01:02:14Can I do?

01:02:15Good morning.

01:02:21Good morning.

01:02:25Good morning.

01:02:28Let's go.

01:02:58Oh, Beryl.

01:03:07Beryl.

01:03:12Geoffrey.

01:03:15Can I rip your trousers off and have my way with you?

01:03:21Oh, Beryl.

01:03:24Oh, Geoffrey.

01:03:26Oh, God.

01:03:39Hello.

01:03:41Will you be required in the room again, sir?

01:03:45Because we're thinking of taking bookings for the next pop festival.

01:03:47They're a bugger.

01:03:51I don't know who he takes after.

01:04:01Hello?

01:04:02It's me.

01:04:03Who?

01:04:04My God, that's symbolic.

01:04:06Oh, hello, Beryl.

01:04:07I'm just ringing to tell you I never want to see you again.

01:04:10If you have a phone or call, please don't, because I shan't be in, tonight or any other night.

01:04:15Anyway, tonight I'm helping me mum at the school jumble sale.

01:04:17I'm helping you.

01:04:47Good evening, Mrs. Battersby.

01:04:51I was looking for a nice lampshade.

01:04:54Oh?

01:04:56Probably this one.

01:04:58Definitely.

01:04:59Magic in satin.

01:05:00Oh, certainly, Geoffrey.

01:05:02Who's here in his nice crimson shoes?

01:05:04You'd like some nice fancy wrapping paper, wouldn't you?

01:05:14I'm a child of the universe, Beryl.

01:05:16I have a right to be here.

01:05:17I'm afraid we don't sell marijuana on Sundays.

01:05:19Try the co-op.

01:05:20Beryl, listen.

01:05:20I don't think he can smell burning.

01:05:21It's just that the vicar's been around burning his jockstrap.

01:05:23Beryl, listen.

01:05:24Can I help you, madam?

01:05:24Have you got that and another colour?

01:05:27No, madam.

01:05:28I'll leave it then.

01:05:28Listen to what, for heaven's sake?

01:05:40Don't matter.

01:05:42What doesn't?

01:05:43You wouldn't, anyway.

01:05:44Wouldn't what?

01:05:46Go to the match with me on Saturday.

01:05:49Me?

01:05:50A football match?

01:05:52With 40,000 skinheads and you?

01:05:55Told you.

01:05:57Who are they playing?

01:06:03Huddersfield Town.

01:06:05In the co-op.

01:06:06I've always wanted to watch Huddersfield Town.

01:06:13The...

01:06:14The fourth from the bottom.

01:06:17Shows you.

01:06:18Away from home.

01:06:22They've won three, drawn five, and lost 12.

01:06:26Drawn five.

01:06:31So what do you think?

01:06:34I think I nearly love you.

01:06:35Never mind, it's only a game.

01:06:52Never mind, it's only a game.

01:07:03I thought you said you nearly loved me.

01:07:05I don't recall Grace Kelly enticing Prince Rainier by going to watch United.

01:07:18I may be wrong.

01:07:19Grace who?

01:07:21We live in a permissive society, Beryl.

01:07:23Read any colour supplement.

01:07:25Mother, you're supposed to be my mother.

01:07:27I am, love.

01:07:28And it wasn't through going to football matches.

01:07:31You are the same mother that makes me tug my skirt down every time I stand up, even if he's only on the phone.

01:07:36Yes.

01:07:36Well, boys are very safe.

01:07:39And I am your mother.

01:07:41That's what I said.

01:07:42I don't mean, er, permissive, permissive.

01:07:48Let's see.

01:07:49Romantic.

01:07:52Pardon?

01:07:53Kissing, cuddling.

01:07:55Things of that nature.

01:07:59Oh, we do.

01:08:00Do what?

01:08:02What you just said.

01:08:03Good.

01:08:04Not too much, I hope.

01:08:06Oh, God.

01:08:07Boys are very funny.

01:08:09They're novices compared to mothers.

01:08:10Did I tell you that two new people have moved into the house opposite with the green curtains?

01:08:20Oh.

01:08:24Two new people have moved into the house opposite with the green curtains.

01:08:29Fantastic.

01:08:34The Cowgills.

01:08:37Mr. and Mrs. Cowgill.

01:08:39Married couple.

01:08:40Newlyweds.

01:08:43Not long married.

01:08:46You go bald doing that.

01:08:48Doing what?

01:08:49Doing what?

01:09:01I'll tell you, 28 stockbrokers have moved into the office opposite with the dirty curtains.

01:09:06Living in sin.

01:09:07Can you say one single sentence without the word marriage in it?

01:09:18If I said to you, do you think Cassius Clay would have beaten Rocky Marciano, would you say what's it matter so long as they're happily married?

01:09:25I don't think so.

01:09:26I don't think so.

01:09:26A barrel would.

01:09:32Giving you a bad time, is she?

01:09:35Oh.

01:09:36I wouldn't say that.

01:09:36I haven't even mentioned the word.

01:09:42What word?

01:09:43Goodness me, a single person can have a relationship with another single person without everyone thinking she's automatically...

01:09:50I never said you were!

01:09:51What do you think it?

01:09:52What do you think it?

01:09:52All right, Geoffrey.

01:10:07I hereby promise never to utter the word again.

01:10:12Marriage?

01:10:13Never.

01:10:16Well, until I am.

01:10:17If I ever do.

01:10:19Which I fervently hope I never will.

01:10:20For someone who's not uttering something, when's your old pee coming out?

01:10:28No two people have a divine right to happiness, Geoffrey.

01:10:31You mustn't feel guilty about me.

01:10:34I'm sorry.

01:10:37No-one can say you've completely ruined me life.

01:10:40Not yet.

01:10:46What are you staring at?

01:10:50Hello?

01:10:53You all right, son?

01:10:54Terrific.

01:10:55Why did you throw your sponge pudding at the cat, then?

01:10:58Your mother's theory is you're overworking.

01:11:01Hmm.

01:11:02My theory is you're overdoing it with some dolly bird.

01:11:05Oh.

01:11:06What's your theory?

01:11:08Indigestion.

01:11:09Oh.

01:11:09What's yours, Sundance?

01:11:14Hasn't he said anything at all?

01:11:16He has said one thing.

01:11:18Oh, what's that?

01:11:19If God had meant sardines to be in oil, it had given them dipsticks.

01:11:21All right.

01:11:22The weeks and months dragged by, and with neither side willing to compromise, we still have deadlock.

01:11:32Her Majesty's government have consistently tried to find a way out of this dilemma.

01:11:36Another wild night learning what N.O. spells and how many of us school pals are getting married.

01:11:41And what N.O. spells.

01:11:44And what N.O. spells.

01:11:45Great.

01:11:46I might as well go bald and open my own monastery.

01:11:48And so society, that's you and me, says, end this dispute.

01:11:55End it now.

01:11:57Good night.

01:11:58Hear, hear.

01:12:00Good, wasn't it?

01:12:01Terrific.

01:12:02Especially when it said good night.

01:12:05We're just enjoying ourselves.

01:12:07Having a good time.

01:12:09Just having fun.

01:12:11Being happy.

01:12:12Take two a day, after meals, and one if you find yourself crying your heart out again in the middle of a zebra crossing for no reason at all.

01:12:24You're sure this has nothing to do with a boyfriend?

01:12:26Absolutely positive.

01:12:30That was the first film we ever saw together.

01:12:35Make that three a day after meals.

01:12:42Look, Beryl, how's this for a peace plan?

01:12:49You join a marriage bureau, and I'll get a job on the stage, twice nightly in Denmark.

01:12:55Then we'll both be happy.

01:12:56Right?

01:12:57Right.

01:12:58Good Jesus Christ, superstar, amen.

01:13:02Oh, Beryl.

01:13:04Pound's up again.

01:13:05See you tomorrow.

01:13:07Where do you think you're going?

01:13:12Geoffrey, I'll get the sack.

01:13:15It's important.

01:13:18What is?

01:13:21I keep asking you what is.

01:13:25What is?

01:13:27To be on our own.

01:13:29What?

01:13:31So as we can talk.

01:13:33What?

01:13:34That old speech worked out on the bus this morning.

01:13:44The only bit I can remember is, and that's what I think.

01:13:48Last night I dreamt I was in goal for Manchester United, and Grace Kelly kicked nine goals past me.

01:13:53Grace who?

01:13:54She was playing for United as well.

01:13:57Weird, isn't it?

01:13:58The main thing is, we do communicate.

01:14:11Oh, we do.

01:14:21See what I think...

01:14:22See what I think...

01:14:23Go on.

01:14:24No, you.

01:14:24Mine wasn't important.

01:14:27Her mum wasn't.

01:14:38Beryl?

01:14:42Are you...

01:14:43happy?

01:14:46Of course.

01:14:48Very.

01:14:48I am.

01:14:52No one is every second of every minute of every day.

01:14:58No.

01:15:00I'm not.

01:15:05Do you think it's because we love each other, do you think?

01:15:14Probably.

01:15:14I've not actually said the words often.

01:15:17Well, not in so many words.

01:15:20Mostly in words to that effect.

01:15:35Is there anything you don't love about me?

01:15:39No.

01:15:40I don't think so.

01:15:41Honestly, no.

01:15:42Nothing.

01:15:43If there is, you just tell me and I'll stop doing it.

01:15:46There isn't anything.

01:15:47Honest.

01:15:48Good.

01:15:51It wouldn't upset me.

01:15:52It would just make me a better human being to deserve your love.

01:16:00Like, you know,

01:16:03crimson shoes and bottle green socks.

01:16:07Well, you don't wear crimson shoes and bottle green socks, Beryl.

01:16:10If I did, I'd stop to please you.

01:16:17I see.

01:16:22There's no need to be sensitive, Jeffrey.

01:16:24In a meaningful relationship, you must like even what you don't.

01:16:28Your mother.

01:16:31Pardon?

01:16:31I like your mother.

01:16:32Please don't sulk, Jeffrey.

01:16:34Hand her lampshades.

01:16:35Sulking isn't the most endearing quality in a person.

01:16:39Well, you ought to know.

01:16:40You've almost made it an art form.

01:16:42Anything else at random?

01:16:44You've got 24 hours to spare.

01:16:45After all, I'm no Bridget Bardot.

01:16:48According to reliable sources in Saint-Tropez,

01:16:50she's 105 next birthday.

01:16:51Over 98% of the male population of Manchester and Salford

01:16:54can tell the difference between Bridget Bardot and Beryl Battersby.

01:16:57Ask any opinion poll.

01:16:59I'm much fatter for a start.

01:17:01You're not all that fat, Beryl.

01:17:02I am.

01:17:03Start slimming.

01:17:04Men like something to get hold of.

01:17:06If they're allowed to get hold of it.

01:17:08You always succeed in getting back to Percy Filth in the end, don't you?

01:17:11Always.

01:17:11No, I don't, Beryl.

01:17:13You do.

01:17:13I always fail.

01:17:14Do you know what some girls find extremely likeable?

01:17:17The extremely likeable way some boys stare at every girl they see.

01:17:20Boys like it when girls tell them what N-O spells.

01:17:23Especially for the 600th time.

01:17:25That they really dig.

01:17:26You never say dig.

01:17:28I did then.

01:17:30Your passionate, unrequited love for 11 boring men kicking a ball about.

01:17:34That's really lovable.

01:17:36I never knew you thought that.

01:17:39Neither did I.

01:17:41Do now, though.

01:17:44I used to say dig before I met you.

01:17:56I used to say all sorts of things.

01:18:02There's a lot about me I can't even remember.

01:18:04Thinking what I'm thinking?

01:18:30I think so.

01:18:31We just don't like each other.

01:18:35At all.

01:18:48Oh, goodbye, then.

01:18:50Good luck.

01:18:52Peace, man.

01:18:53St. Anne's Square.

01:18:58St. Anne's Square, please.

01:19:09So that just leaves a cot, two matinee coats, two romper suits.

01:19:15And what else do I need?

01:19:19Oh, yes, a ring.

01:19:21Teethine ring?

01:19:23Wedding ring?

01:19:24Of course.

01:19:26Oh, they have gorgeous prams in the shops these days.

01:19:29No wonder everyone's at it.

01:19:32Oh, sorry.

01:19:34What about?

01:19:35Skip it.

01:19:36About time, too.

01:19:39With her sympathy.

01:19:40Not that I need any, actually.

01:19:42I've never been as happy in me life.

01:19:44But she doesn't know that.

01:19:46If I'm looking miserable, Sandra,

01:19:48it's because I'm feeling happy for you.

01:19:51Yeah.

01:19:55We know what you must be thinking.

01:19:56Of course we do.

01:19:58How to pop the pink without going in off.

01:20:00Ace.

01:20:08She used to wear pink, you know.

01:20:10I won't tell you where.

01:20:14A hell of a lot more where hers came from.

01:20:17Wow.

01:20:21Did you want the chalk, Geoffrey?

01:20:23I know.

01:20:24Spells no.

01:20:27Super day for it.

01:20:28Hmm, sin being inside a day like this.

01:20:33Well, Sandra,

01:20:35this is it.

01:20:36Yep.

01:20:37The big day.

01:20:39Yep.

01:20:40Coming to the crutch.

01:20:41Crunch.

01:20:43I dare say it'll hardly break me heart in the slightest,

01:20:46seeing him again.

01:20:48You mustn't think I'll be crying inside,

01:20:49because I most definitely won't be.

01:20:52And what's more, no one will know that I am.

01:20:55Because I shan't.

01:20:56Truly.

01:20:58Sandra, please, you've enough to think of.

01:21:05It's a big day for you as well, really, isn't it?

01:21:13And now one of the bride and groom on their own.

01:21:16Do you mind stepping back, sir?

01:21:17It's fine.

01:21:19Is this fine enough?

01:21:20Here.

01:21:20About there, lovely.

01:21:22You can kiss the bride on this one, sir.

01:21:25Wow.

01:21:25Official permission to actually kiss her.

01:21:29Ow!

01:21:30Oh, sorry.

01:21:31That's right.

01:21:34Hold it.

01:21:35Lovely.

01:21:37Right, now, a nice family group of the parents, please.

01:21:40Funny.

01:21:41I remember the Friday lunchtime we first met.

01:21:45How have you been?

01:21:47Absolutely great.

01:21:49You?

01:21:49Never better.

01:21:51Ever.

01:21:52That's it.

01:21:52All a bit like that.

01:21:55It's all over now.

01:21:56Bar the salmon salad.

01:21:59It's tuna fish.

01:22:01It's life.

01:22:09See President Nixon went to China, then?

01:22:12That was before we ever met.

01:22:14I know.

01:22:15Why?

01:22:16Has something happened about it?

01:22:18No.

01:22:18No?

01:22:19Could I trouble you for the salad cream, please?

01:22:21Hmm.

01:22:24Speaking personally, I think there are enough problems to sort out on Earth without going to the moon.

01:22:30Nixon?

01:22:31Why is he going?

01:22:33No.

01:22:35The astronauts.

01:22:36Oh.

01:22:38It's the wives and sweethearts I feel sorry for.

01:22:41We never really talked, did we?

01:22:45About things that matter.

01:22:47Good, isn't it?

01:22:48Shows we're friends.

01:22:50Now that we know we don't like each other.

01:22:52Everybody thinks we're brokenhearted.

01:22:58We've really grown up, haven't we?

01:23:01My mother's convinced herself we split up because we had too much Percy filth.

01:23:04I'm right off it, myself.

01:23:06I've been able to walk off buses perfectly normally for the past few weeks.

01:23:10Aw.

01:23:10I expect it's only temporary.

01:23:13I hope not.

01:23:14It's marvellous.

01:23:15Good.

01:23:16I don't fancy you in the slightest now.

01:23:19Thank you, love.

01:23:19And we've learned a fantastic amount for the future.

01:23:32Fantastic.

01:23:33For example, say I finally did marry someone like you, only someone I love.

01:23:38I bet I'd now let him wear crimson shoes and bottle green socks every night.

01:23:41In bed, I bet.

01:23:42In bed, I bet.

01:23:48And you'll probably meet some little fatty who's never even heard of Kenny Warhol and marry her three days later.

01:23:53We probably won't see each other at all now.

01:23:57We're pals.

01:23:59I expect you're going to the match this afternoon.

01:24:01Oh, yeah.

01:24:02I'm helping Sandra Packer go in a way case.

01:24:05Where's she going?

01:24:06Hospital.

01:24:06Well, we'll bump into each other sometime.

01:24:13Mm-hmm.

01:24:44Oh, hello, Mrs. Battersby.

01:24:56You won't remember me.

01:24:58Good afternoon, Geoffrey.

01:25:01Oh, um, is, uh, is Beryl there, please?

01:25:05She's gone to the football match.

01:25:09There is no football. It's cricket now.

01:25:12Well, it's the same thing, isn't it?

01:25:14Oh, it's the same thing.

01:25:44Well, the season's over now, Beryl.

01:25:46Well, what on earth did you want to come for?

01:25:49I forgot.

01:25:51I'm not all that interested these days.

01:25:55Where will you go now, then?

01:25:57I don't know.

01:26:01I could always go inside and practise booing for next season.

01:26:04Where will you?

01:26:09Might go and get a new pair of tights.

01:26:11Hey, it's like the countryside, isn't it, when it's empty?

01:26:15Fancy a stroll in the country?

01:26:17May as well, if you like.

01:26:19Don't mind.

01:26:19Why not?

01:26:21Just as friends.

01:26:23Oh, I meant just as friends.

01:26:24Yeah, I did.

01:26:32Wish we had a ball.

01:26:35I'll play shooting in.

01:26:39You could go in goal.

01:26:40Amazing how people change, isn't it?

01:26:48Well, we're certainly much happier without each other.

01:27:16We'll be even happier with someone else.

01:27:22Anyone, really.

01:27:30There's millions to choose from.

01:27:34All nearly exactly right for us.

01:27:38You'll find someone, Geoffrey.

01:27:40You will, Beryl.

01:27:43Just a matter of keeping your eyes open, really.

01:27:46Picking one out of the crowd.

01:27:48Picking one out of the crowd!

01:28:18And you'll find sometimes

01:28:30Love and rainy weather can turn out fine

01:28:35Getting wet together's fun

01:28:40When the crying's dark

01:28:45Love and rainy weather

01:28:50Are followed by the sun

01:28:55Love and rainy weather

01:29:00Love and rainy weather

01:29:05When the crying's dark

01:29:10Love and rainy weather

01:29:15Are followed by the sun

01:29:20Love and rainy weather

01:29:27That's a great day

01:29:32That had a slight

01:29:37She was a beautiful

01:29:40She was surprised by the sun

01:29:43With the sun

01:29:45And the sun

01:29:48And the sun

01:29:49And the sun

01:29:51And the sun

Full Hot Movie | The Lovers | Movies4fun

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