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  • 2 days ago
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00:00Yeah, whatever.
00:15Please give me your smile, Bridget.
00:17What's going on?
00:19I think I just had my period for the first time.
00:22Oh.
00:24Oh.
00:25Look.
00:26Just...
00:27And just sneak off.
00:28I'll be there in a few minutes.
00:39Hey.
00:40Yo, what's that on the chair?
00:42Oh, my God.
00:43Is...
00:44Is that a stain?
00:46Whoa!
00:47Whoa!
00:48Ew!
00:49Oh!
00:50I must have spilled some ketchup when I was having a hot dog.
00:54Oh.
00:55Oh.
00:56That's the lamest excuse ever.
00:57Ketchup, huh?
00:58That's why you're running away.
00:59Oh!
01:00Oh!
01:01Ew!
01:02Ew!
01:03Ew!
01:04Ew!
01:05Ew!
01:06Ew!
01:07Ew!
01:08Ew!
01:09Ew!
01:10Ew!
01:11Ew!
01:12Ew!
01:13Ew!
01:14Ew!
01:15Ew!
01:16Ew!
01:17Ew!
01:18Ew!
01:19Ew!
01:20Ew!
01:21Ew!
01:22Ew!
01:23Ew!
01:24Ew!
01:25Ew!
01:26Ew!
01:27Ew!
01:28Ew!
01:29Ew!
01:30Stew!
01:31Ew!
01:32Total objections!
01:33Look, I know what to do. I had mine years ago. Every girl goes through it.
01:40Just please let me help you and open up the door.
01:45Mary?
01:51There's so much blood.
01:55Everyone saw.
01:58It's going to be okay.
01:59No, it's not. They already have a frickin' nickname for me.
02:03It doesn't matter. Just let me help you.
02:06Please.
02:09Okay?
02:11All right. Let's go.
02:13Come.
02:21Oh, hi, Mary. I kept you a plate.
02:23Look, it's Bloody Mary.
02:25Hey, Bloody Mary. Make you some ketchup for those eggs, huh?
02:27Oh, it's just ketchup. It's just ketchup, right?
02:35What? You can squirt everywhere and I can't?
02:36Get out of here, Mary. You reek.
02:40Ew, don't touch me. You're like so gross.
02:43What the freak? You're like, you've never had your period?
02:46I can still smell her, right?
02:48Ew.
02:48That's so funny.
02:50She ruined my appetite.
02:51Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
03:02Just leave me alone.
03:03Whatever your name.
03:06It's Sid. We've had a few classes together.
03:08Whatever!
03:12I wasn't going to make fun of you or anything.
03:14Just leave me alone.
03:16Okay.
03:18Just, it's not gross.
03:21Don't listen to them.
03:24Right.
03:25Thanks.
03:25I've had a crush on her for as long as I can remember, but she doesn't even notice me.
03:34What am I doing wrong?
03:35I'm the only person who hasn't made fun of her for what happened yesterday.
03:44She's really sensitive now.
03:46I hope you understand.
03:48Yeah, but she must feel horrible.
03:52So, what's the plan now?
03:59Wait for the camping trip to be over?
04:02What do you mean?
04:04Mary, are you planning to stay in the bed for the rest of the trip?
04:08Why not?
04:09There's only two days left.
04:11Come on now.
04:13We could have so much fun in those two days.
04:16You know, I actually thought that, I thought I could get Homer to like me during this camping trip.
04:28I'm married.
04:29I've had a crush on him for so long.
04:32He's never going to ask me out.
04:34All girls get their period.
04:36And it's not like a disease or something.
04:39Then why does my stomach hurt so much?
04:41I'll give you some mydol.
04:42What's mydol?
04:44It's some medicine that will help you with the cramps, with the headache, everything.
04:48You'll feel better, you'll see.
04:49Oh god, I even have to take medicine?
04:53Okay.
04:55Promise me we'll go on a walk later.
04:58Deal?
05:00Okay.
05:01And, I mean, Homer isn't the only guy on this planet.
05:09I mean, I think there might be a better option.
05:15Thanks for convincing me to go outside.
05:18And thanks for the mud.
05:19Oh, don't mention it.
05:21Girls!
05:21Mary!
05:22Gretchen!
05:23Oh my god!
05:24I don't know if you saw, but some girls saw a bear there at the camping site.
05:28What?
05:29A bear?
05:29No.
05:30Yeah, yeah, yeah, they did.
05:31If I were you, I'd be careful because, you know, bears go crazy when they smell blood.
05:35You're not serious.
05:36This can't be true.
05:37Yeah, obviously.
05:38I mean, everyone knows bears attack people when they smell blood.
05:41But, could you smell me?
05:43Of course.
05:44Obviously, even I can smell you.
05:46You stink.
05:47If I were you, I'd go back home and stay away from the bear.
05:51Diane, she doesn't stink.
05:53What's wrong with your nose?
05:55I mean, obvious...
05:56Okay, you know what?
05:56Fine.
05:57You do you, whatever you want.
05:59I'm just going.
06:01Wait for the bear to attack, I guess.
06:03Bloody Mary.
06:06But what if you can't smell me?
06:08And bears?
06:09I can't.
06:10We have to go.
06:10Mary, there is no bears, first of all.
06:12Second of all, they're...
06:14Oh, my God.
06:30Oh, idiot.
06:31You should see your face.
06:33You look ridiculous.
06:37Leave these losers.
06:38I saw everything.
06:41Are you okay?
06:42They're horrible.
06:44I can't believe they do that.
06:45Is everything fine?
06:46Go away, weirdo.
06:48What's your problem anyways?
06:50I'm a weirdo, because I don't make fun of you.
06:54What do you want?
06:57Nothing.
06:58Forget it.
07:03Mary, why you got to talk to Sid like that?
07:05All I know is that guy's weird, okay?
07:08Like, in sex ed class, he asks questions, comments, and in English class, he reads all those weird books, and he's just...
07:15Smart?
07:17What?
07:18That's not what I meant.
07:19Okay, look.
07:20That guy is smart.
07:21He might seem weird, but he's so smart.
07:23Don't you think he doesn't make fun of your beard because he's so smart?
07:26So why don't you just date him if you like him so much?
07:30Because he doesn't like me.
07:31Okay, okay, let's go back to camp.
07:33Okay.
07:35I'll be back in a minute.
07:41Oh, good.
07:41Gretchen's gone.
07:42She's a total ball buster.
07:45Yeah.
07:47Let's go get Mary.
07:49Go.
07:53Come in.
07:56Come in.
07:58Come in.
07:59Come in.
07:59Come in.
08:00Come in.
08:00Come in.
08:01Come in.
08:01Come in.
08:02Come in.
08:02Come in.
08:03Come in.
08:03Come in.
08:04Come in.
08:04Come in.
08:05Come in.
08:05You're dropping your hands again.
08:06What?
08:09We talked about this, right?
08:10Mm-hmm.
08:11I think she's home.
08:12Yeah.
08:13Hey, Mary.
08:14Hey.
08:15Hey.
08:16What?
08:17Call me Holmes, okay?
08:18Okay.
08:19Listen, me and Jakey here, we just feel terrible about the whole bear thing.
08:25So, we wanted to say we're sorry.
08:28I'm so sorry.
08:29No hard feelings, right?
08:30I don't know.
08:31Okay.
08:32And, uh, to show you we mean it, you know, we wanted to give you a little something.
08:36Yeah.
08:37A little surprise, if you will.
08:38So, come with us.
08:39Oh, but, can I wait till Gretchen gets back?
08:42No.
08:43No, no, no, no, no.
08:44The surprise is for you, not for Gretchen.
08:48Come.
08:49Okay.
08:50It's nice.
08:51It's very nice.
08:52I like this.
08:53Thanks.
08:54Um, listen.
08:55I need to check and make sure that everything's okay, right?
08:56So, just, uh, wait here a sec.
08:57Okay?
08:58Okay.
08:59Okay.
09:00Okay.
09:01Okay.
09:02Okay.
09:03Okay.
09:04Okay.
09:05Okay.
09:06We're ready.
09:07Stop!
09:08Oh!
09:09Dude!
09:10You had to ruin it!
09:11You moron.
09:12You moron!
09:13Of course, Sid the idiot had to ruin everything.
09:15Hey, shut up, Homer.
09:16Why are you helping out Bloody Mary anyways?
09:18I'll give you a sec.
09:19Okay?
09:20Okay.
09:21Okay.
09:22Okay.
09:23Okay.
09:24Okay.
09:25Okay.
09:26Okay.
09:27Okay.
09:28Okay.
09:29Okay.
09:30Okay.
09:31Okay.
09:32Okay.
09:33Okay.
09:34Okay.
09:35Okay.
09:36Okay.
09:37Okay.
09:38What?
09:39You got a crush on her?
09:41Yes.
09:42Yes.
09:43I have a crush on me.
09:44Well, that's just great.
09:45She's gross and you're gross.
09:46It's a perfect match.
09:47Oh, shut up.
09:48So, she got her period.
09:49All girls have periods.
09:50It's not gross.
09:51Did she already get yours?
09:52You think that's what the girls around you think, huh?
09:53Come on.
09:54Like, you either have it or you're gonna have it.
09:55Yeah.
09:56Yeah.
09:57Yeah.
09:58Yeah.
09:59Yeah.
10:00Yeah.
10:01Yeah.
10:02Yeah.
10:03Yeah.
10:04Yeah.
10:05Yeah.
10:06It's not gross.
10:07Or you're gonna have it.
10:08It's not gross.
10:09You know what is gross though?
10:10Wetting the bed.
10:11You swore.
10:12You wouldn't tell.
10:13I didn't.
10:14I don't know how he knows.
10:17No, no, no!
10:18He knows the freak!
10:19I'm a loser!
10:20You!
10:21He's such a loser!
10:24Ha ha!
10:26Sorry for ignoring you, for being mean.
10:32Let's get out of here.
10:35Okay.
10:38Homer's reputation is ruined, don't you think?
10:41By the way, how did you know about the bed wedding?
10:44Oh, um, when we arrived here he grabbed the thing from his backpack and I recognized a pack of good nights.
10:52I work at that supermarket at the stock shelves, so.
10:55Yeah.
10:56Makes sense.
10:57Yeah.
10:58How come you're not grossed out?
11:00By what?
11:02The period thing?
11:05Why will I be?
11:07I don't know.
11:09It's gross.
11:11It stinks.
11:12What?
11:13It's neither of those things.
11:16People wake up with bad breath and sweat.
11:19Saying periods are gross is just, it's just a way to keep women down and feeling bad about themselves.
11:27Or it's like immature people who think body fluids are nasty.
11:30I think Homer's probably quite ashamed of his own body.
11:34So you really don't care?
11:37No.
11:38Right now, all I care about is getting this red paint off my body.
11:43Well, thanks.
11:46Hey, uh, would you maybe like to go out sometime?
11:53Sometime.
11:54Yeah?
11:55I'd love to.
11:56Okay.
11:57Okay.
11:58Well, see you.
11:59See ya.
12:00Hey, Secret Keepers.
12:01We hope you enjoyed another great episode of Secret Diaries.
12:03Thanks for watching.
12:04Please don't forget to share and subscribe.
12:06And, uh, since we're standing in front of the green screen, uh, we're gonna strike a few poses and we dare you to turn us into a few memes.
12:25All right.
12:30All right.

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