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  • 2 days ago
Transcript
00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:30CastingWords
00:01:00CastingWords
00:01:29Players, young and old, can't seem to get enough of what is quickly becoming America's favorite pastime.
00:01:38The sport is fun and easy to play, and free from many of the controversies that plague modern games.
00:01:47However, the lily-white sport that has so captivated the public is not without its dark side.
00:01:55This brings us to an expose on the Pickleball Exorcist, a story of two men.
00:02:05One who loved the game so much he was willing to kill for it.
00:02:09The other, a simple man who simply sought to stop the evil no one had ever witnessed on the court before.
00:02:18And it all took place in the small town of Backcourt.
00:02:24How bad do you want this?
00:02:35How bad do you want to be the best?
00:02:38What do you want to be the best?
00:02:52What do you want to be the best?
00:02:52What do you want to be the best?
00:02:52What do you want to be the best?
00:02:52What do you want to be the best?
00:02:54What do you want to be the best?
00:02:55What do you want to be the best?
00:02:56What do you want to be the best?
00:02:57What do you want to be the best?
00:02:58What do you want to be the best?
00:02:59What do you want to be the best?
00:03:00What do you want to be the best?
00:03:01What do you want to be the best?
00:03:02What do you want to be the best?
00:03:03To be continued...
00:03:33How bad do you want to be the best?
00:04:03How bad do you want to be the best?
00:04:33How bad do you want to be the best?
00:05:03How bad do you want to be the best?
00:05:33How bad do you want to be the best?
00:06:03How bad do you want to be the best?
00:06:33How bad do you want to be the best?
00:07:03How bad do you want to be the best?
00:07:33How bad do you want to be the best?
00:08:03How bad do you want to be the best?
00:08:33How bad do you want to be the best?
00:09:03Hey, it's your game, boss.
00:09:05In the kitchen!
00:09:21How bad do you want to be the best?
00:09:27How bad do you want to be the best?
00:09:29You want to be the best?
00:09:31You want to be the best?
00:09:35You want to be the best?
00:09:37You want to be the best?
00:09:41You want to be the best?
00:09:43You want to be the best?
00:09:47You want to be the best?
00:09:49You want to be the best?
00:09:51You want to be the best?
00:09:53You want to be the best?
00:09:55You want to be the best?
00:09:57You want to be the best?
00:09:59You want to be the best?
00:10:01You want to be the best?
00:10:03You want to be the best?
00:10:05You want to be the best?
00:10:07You want to be the best?
00:10:09You want to be the best?
00:10:11Come on!
00:10:38Bro, bro!
00:10:41Offside!
00:10:42Why did I even come out of here today?
00:10:51Ow!
00:10:54Man!
00:10:55You suck!
00:11:11No!
00:11:12No!
00:11:21No!
00:11:22Oh
00:11:52Oh
00:12:22Stop
00:12:24Stop
00:12:26Stop
00:12:28Stop
00:12:30Stop
00:12:32Stop
00:12:34He's already dead
00:12:36No
00:12:38No
00:12:40No
00:12:42Stop
00:12:44Stop
00:12:46Stop
00:12:48Stop
00:12:50Stop
00:13:00Stop
00:13:02Stop
00:13:04Stop
00:13:06Stop
00:13:10Stop
00:13:12Well done! Now, let's kill some more assholes!
00:13:42I think that's an exorcism. I think I've seen these types of things before. Or maybe not. I don't know.
00:13:56He's here. So what do I say? What do I say?
00:13:59So I better tell you a little bit more about me is that I'm a part-time exorcist and I moonlight as a homicide detective.
00:14:09So I want to give you a little bit of advice. So I want you to pay attention and listen to me, okay?
00:14:14What if he, like, throws up? I mean, he definitely looks like he could.
00:14:20Okay. Very good.
00:14:22I'm worried about him though. What if he hits the headboard?
00:14:25So first thing, don't let them hit their head on the headboard. That's number one.
00:14:32Oh. Oh. Too late for that. Oh.
00:14:37I don't know. What if he says mean things to me?
00:14:40And number two. You may hear some bad language.
00:14:45Number three. I've never seen anyone throw up, but it could happen.
00:14:50Now, I've never done an actual exorcism before, but I can assure you I know what I'm doing.
00:14:59Now, are you sure that they're possessed? You're sure?
00:15:03Are you sure they're not just sleeping or something?
00:15:08You know, come to think of it, they possibly may not be possessed.
00:15:13Hello? Are you there? Hello? Hello? Are you still there?
00:15:22Okay. If you're still there, let's table this for now and we'll come back to this exorcism.
00:15:30Okay. Hello? Okay. I'm heading into my office right now.
00:15:35So you call me back and we can continue that. Hello? Call me back and we can continue the exorcism later.
00:15:45So you call me back and we'll come back and wait.
00:16:59Do I want to do some police work or some exorcisms?
00:17:25Do I want to do some police?
00:17:55Do I want to do some police?
00:18:25Do I want to do some police?
00:18:27Do I want to do some police?
00:18:29Do I want to do some police?
00:18:31Do I want to do some police?
00:18:35Do I want to do some police?
00:18:37Do I want to do some police?
00:18:41Do I want to do some police?
00:18:43Do I want to do some police?
00:18:45Do I want to do some police?
00:18:47Do I want to do some police?
00:18:49Do I want to do some police?
00:18:55Do I want to do some police?
00:18:57Do I want to do some police?
00:18:59Do I want to do some police?
00:19:01Do I want to do some police?
00:19:03Do I want to do some police?
00:19:05Do I want to do some police?
00:19:07Do I want to do some police?
00:19:09Do I want to do some police?
00:19:11Do I want to do some police?
00:19:21Do you want police?"
00:19:23Let's go.
00:19:53Let's go.
00:20:23Let's go.
00:20:53Let's go.
00:21:23Let's go.
00:21:53Let's go.
00:22:23Let's go.
00:22:25Let's go.
00:22:27Let's go.
00:22:29Let's go.
00:22:31Let's go.
00:22:33Let's go.
00:22:35Let's go.
00:22:37Let's go.
00:22:39Let's go.
00:23:11Let's go.
00:23:13Let's go.
00:23:17Let's go.
00:23:21Let's go.
00:23:23Let's go.
00:23:25Let's go.
00:23:27Let's go.
00:23:29Let's go.
00:23:31Let's go.
00:23:33Let's go.
00:23:35Let's go.
00:23:37Let's go.
00:23:39Let's go.
00:23:41Let's go.
00:23:43Let's go.
00:23:45Let's go.
00:23:47Let's go.
00:23:51Let's go.
00:23:53Let's go.
00:23:55Let's go.
00:24:03Let's go.
00:24:05Let's go.
00:24:07Let's go.
00:24:17Let's go.
00:24:19Let's go.
00:24:21Let's go.
00:24:33Let's go.
00:24:35Let's go.
00:24:37Let's go.
00:24:39I understand.
00:24:40But it's just I haven't quite.
00:24:42I can assure you I'm very good at this.
00:24:46No, I'm very good at it.
00:24:48No, and I'm also very good at detective work.
00:24:51I'm very good at both.
00:24:53Correct.
00:24:54I moonlight as a detective.
00:24:57Uh-huh.
00:24:58Full-time exorcist.
00:25:00The exorcism is part of the program.
00:25:03Can I ask you what your religion is?
00:25:06I can work with that.
00:25:08I can work with that.
00:25:09Yeah.
00:25:10And let me be honest.
00:25:11This is something we can ease you into this exorcism, you know.
00:25:14We don't run just buckshot right at it.
00:25:17It's something that we can get you into at a very slow pace.
00:25:21We don't have to go all out all at one time.
00:25:24Correct.
00:25:25Correct.
00:25:26But, but, let me say that if we slowly move into it, we have a better chance of getting that exorcism done properly and correctly.
00:25:34Correct.
00:25:35And so that's the process that we're going to take.
00:25:38And working that process is going to ensure our success.
00:25:43Do you see what I mean?
00:25:45Correct.
00:25:46Okay.
00:25:47Can you hold on for one second?
00:25:49I'll be, I'll be right back.
00:25:50Hold on one second.
00:25:51No.
00:25:52Hold on.
00:25:53Hello?
00:25:54Ernest.
00:25:55Ernest.
00:25:56Ernest, Chief Racket here.
00:25:57Listen, we have a problem.
00:26:01I need your help and I need your help immediately.
00:26:04Yes, sir.
00:26:05The town of Backcourt needs your help.
00:26:07Yes, sir.
00:26:08We have a crazed pickleballer who is killing pickleball players on the court, off the court.
00:26:16Ernest, you are good at what you do.
00:26:18You are a part-time detective and you're an exorcist.
00:26:22I need you to exorcise yourself and get this pickleball killer captured and done.
00:26:28I need it now.
00:26:29My job is on the line.
00:26:31This town is crazy, going crazy right now.
00:26:34Get this done.
00:26:35Of course.
00:26:36Of course.
00:26:37Ernest, this is serious.
00:26:38This could destroy Backcourt.
00:26:41I need you to get on this right now.
00:26:43This is a serious situation.
00:26:45These killings have to stop.
00:26:47Ernest, do your best.
00:26:48I need it done now.
00:26:49I will be on top of it.
00:26:51Yes, sir.
00:26:52Thank you, sir.
00:26:54Alright.
00:26:55Goodbye.
00:26:56Hey, Chief.
00:27:08I got it from here.
00:27:10This pickleballer?
00:27:12He's mine.
00:27:26Captain Eden.
00:27:27Shit, boy.
00:27:28Did he?
00:27:29He could do dinner.
00:27:30But he did fuck.
00:27:31outras IU do as theoboo.
00:27:32Brother, bro.
00:27:33Hey, people are up.
00:27:34He's good.
00:27:35He's an Indian shits
00:27:36What I do.
00:27:37Ohhhh.
00:27:38Ohhhh.
00:27:39I won't let anything.
00:27:40I won't let anything to try.
00:27:41P Villainuit.
00:27:43OK.
00:27:44Oh, God.
00:27:45Hey, come on together.
00:27:46Anything?
00:27:47Will sent you all of a fortune?
00:27:49Yeah.
00:27:50Fiaças my sorry.
00:27:52I didn't frontline you and everything,
00:27:53in this Schools,
00:27:55I don't know.
00:28:25I don't know.
00:28:55I don't know.
00:29:25I don't know.
00:29:55I don't know.
00:30:25I don't know.
00:30:55I don't know.
00:30:57I don't know.
00:30:58I don't know.
00:30:59I don't know.
00:31:00I don't know.
00:31:02I don't know.
00:31:03Yes, sir.
00:31:04Yes, sir.
00:31:05No, I understand.
00:31:06I understand.
00:31:07Yes, sir.
00:31:08I don't know.
00:31:11I don't know.
00:31:12I don't know.
00:31:13I don't know.
00:31:14I don't know.
00:31:15I don't know.
00:31:16I don't know.
00:31:17I don't know.
00:31:18I don't know.
00:31:19I don't know.
00:31:22I don't know.
00:31:24I don't know.
00:31:25I don't know.
00:31:26I don't know.
00:31:27I don't know.
00:31:28I don't know.
00:31:29I don't know.
00:31:31I don't know.
00:31:32I don't know.
00:31:33I don't know.
00:31:34Let's go.
00:32:04Let's go.
00:32:34Let's go.
00:33:04Let's go.
00:33:34Let's go.
00:34:04Let's go.
00:34:34Let's go.
00:34:36Let's go.
00:34:38Let's go.
00:34:40Let's go.
00:34:42Let's go.
00:34:46Let's go.
00:34:48Let's go.
00:34:50Let's go.
00:34:52Let's go.
00:34:54Let's go.
00:35:00Let's go.
00:35:02Let's go.
00:35:06Let's go.
00:35:08Let's go.
00:35:16Let's go.
00:35:18Let's go.
00:35:26Let's go.
00:35:28Let's go.
00:35:30Let's go.
00:35:36Let's go.
00:35:38Let's go.
00:35:40Let's go.
00:35:42Let's go.
00:35:46really want to get into this we could I suppose but if you really want me to get
00:35:51into it it's gonna be you know kind of a bigger fee at this point now and again
00:35:57when you're doing virtual exorcisms it's it's you know it's it's a seller's
00:36:02market it's not really a buyer's market so it's not there's not a lot of money
00:36:05in this we could go and play this shell game if you want to but I really think
00:36:11you don't need to bother with that and you know I you know to be honest if you
00:36:16just went to urgent care took them in there I bet they you know prescribe them
00:36:21something it you know you get a prescription and then you get you call
00:36:25it a day you go home you get a little rest drink some water something I got a
00:36:29phone call I gotta go yes sir yes sir oh my
00:36:41so
00:36:44so
00:36:48so
00:36:53so
00:36:56so
00:37:00so
00:37:06I don't know.
00:37:36Damn shame.
00:37:53Damn shame.
00:38:06Damn shame.
00:38:36Damn shame.
00:39:06Damn shame.
00:39:08Damn shame.
00:39:10Damn shame.
00:39:14Damn shame.
00:39:18Damn shame.
00:39:20Damn shame.
00:39:22Damn shame.
00:39:24Damn shame.
00:39:26Damn shame.
00:39:30Damn shame.
00:39:32Damn shame.
00:39:38Damn shame.
00:39:40Damn shame.
00:39:44Damn shame.
00:39:46yes sir
00:40:07earnest i don't know what you have to do whether it's police work whether it's cia work whether
00:40:12it's fbi work but we need to solve this killer now we need to get this pickleball craze killer
00:40:18done now you're an exorcist exercise this killer out of backhorn and do it now yes sir no i i
00:40:26understand i understand right yes sir yes sir right i understand sir no i i i do understand i
00:40:34understand yes sir yes sir
00:40:42so
00:40:52so
00:40:54so
00:40:56so
00:41:04so
00:41:16so
00:41:28so
00:41:38so
00:41:40so
00:41:50so
00:41:52so
00:42:04so
00:42:06so
00:42:18so
00:42:20so
00:42:32so
00:42:34so
00:42:46so
00:42:48so
00:43:02so
00:43:04so
00:43:18so
00:43:20so
00:43:22so
00:43:34so
00:43:36so
00:43:38so
00:43:50so
00:43:52so
00:43:54so
00:43:56so
00:43:58so
00:44:10so
00:44:12so
00:44:14so
00:44:16so
00:44:30so
00:44:32so
00:44:34so
00:44:50so
00:44:52so
00:44:54so
00:44:56you
00:45:12so
00:45:14so
00:45:16so
00:45:18so
00:45:20so
00:45:36so
00:45:38so
00:45:40so
00:45:42i could sure use you right now
00:46:08where is he
00:46:30what would you do
00:46:34what would you do
00:46:36what would you do
00:46:40what would you do
00:47:48This stuff works.
00:47:58Where are you?
00:48:07Now, where are you?
00:48:09I got you.
00:48:16I got you.
00:48:21I got you.
00:48:23I got you.
00:48:27Oh, boy.
00:48:29Do I got you?
00:48:32You're gonna play the pickleball game of your life, aren't you, Jed?
00:48:36You're gonna play the pickleball game of your life, aren't you, Jed?
00:48:51Leads and sightings of Jed Rittenhauser's lethal pickleball rampage poured in.
00:48:57He was seen all over town and nobody, not even law enforcement, dared to confront him.
00:49:03Jed's was an evil not seen since the likes of Richard Ramirez, the Manson family, or the man behind the Twinkie defense.
00:49:11It was sadly looking like the town of Backcourt was going to be at the mercy of Jed Rittenhauser's devilish ways for a long, long time.
00:49:21Ernest, this killer is out of control.
00:49:26Worse than I thought it was gonna be.
00:49:27This crazed pickleball killer is killing babies.
00:49:30He's killing birds.
00:49:32He's killing ballers.
00:49:33It has to be stopped.
00:49:34Where did he go?
00:49:37I know he's here.
00:49:40Where is he?
00:49:44Ground straight, this asshole went to a plan.
00:49:59Where did he go?
00:50:00Where did he go?
00:50:04Ernest, what are you doing out there?
00:50:07Are you just driving around crying?
00:50:08We need your help now.
00:50:10Get it together, Ernest.
00:50:11Get yourself together.
00:50:13Shake yourself.
00:50:14Get this killer.
00:50:16Come on, Ernest.
00:50:17Where is he?
00:50:18I saw him in that crystal ball.
00:50:21I know he's here.
00:50:24Hold this motherfucker like he's never been hold before.
00:50:28I see you.
00:50:34Where is he?
00:50:40Ernest, this has to stop now.
00:50:42If you can't stop it, go back full time.
00:50:45Be an exorcist full time.
00:50:46But I need you now.
00:50:47There he is.
00:51:16I see him.
00:51:18He's right there.
00:51:27Keep running.
00:51:29You're faster than him.
00:51:30Put him in the kitchen to die.
00:51:52Where did he go?
00:51:58There he is.
00:51:59How inept is this guy?
00:52:18Wait, is that him?
00:52:22No.
00:52:23Ernest, I don't care what it takes.
00:52:26Get this done.
00:52:27Exorcise this killer.
00:52:29If not, go back.
00:52:30Do what you want full time.
00:52:32Go back.
00:52:32Cry in your car.
00:52:34Wipe the tears away.
00:52:35I don't care.
00:52:36Get it done.
00:52:36It's so frustrating.
00:52:38I know it's here.
00:52:45That's not it.
00:52:46Dex stone.
00:52:55I know it is.
00:52:56It's so unequivocal.
00:52:57Nina, we and behold.
00:52:57Give me life.
00:52:57wealth of sea and amни⁄uvus.
00:52:59I don't care what you want.
00:52:59I know it's so 쓰�DOC.
00:52:59It's so free to face.
00:53:04I know it's so frustrating.
00:53:04I can't wait.
00:53:04I am done.
00:53:05I see.
00:53:05I am very without you.
00:53:06If not, go back.
00:53:06I hope you are someone.
00:53:08You can see me flaw oh where you are.
00:53:08Will you if you have chewing on the mon OVERS.
00:53:09He plays a good game.
00:53:20Time to die.
00:53:25Dink his ass into oblivion.
00:53:28Gosh, he'd be so easy to spot.
00:53:40He's in that dumb pickleball outfit.
00:53:44Blue and yellow stupid pickleball outfit.
00:53:48Is that him?
00:53:50I think that's him.
00:53:58Ernest, you know where he is.
00:54:17Come on now, think.
00:54:19Think.
00:54:25Where would you go?
00:54:28Where would I go?
00:54:42If I was him, where would I go?
00:54:58Wait a minute.
00:55:19Wait a minute.
00:55:24Psalms.
00:55:30Psalms.
00:55:34Proverbs.
00:55:37Proverbs.
00:55:39Proverbs.
00:55:40Proverbs.
00:55:48Returning.
00:55:49Returning.
00:55:51Return, return.
00:55:59Psalms 116, 7.
00:56:01Return to your rest, O my soul.
00:56:04Return to your rest, O my soul.
00:56:08For the Lord has dealt bountiful with you.
00:56:11It's bountiful with you.
00:56:12Return.
00:56:13Return to your rest, O my soul.
00:56:16For the Lord has dealt bountiful with you.
00:56:42This is going to be a volley for your soul.
00:56:45Drive this asshole back to detective.
00:56:56Yeah.
00:57:05Yeah.
00:57:06How do you like that?
00:57:07Who's in the kitchen now?
00:57:20Who's in the kitchen now?
00:57:22Who's in the kitchen now?
00:57:22How's this working out for you?
00:57:36On the line!
00:57:52On the line!
00:57:53On the line!
00:57:57How do you like that net?
00:58:05How do you like that net?
00:58:07No!
00:58:37Drop suit him to hell!
00:59:07We'll be right back!
00:59:37Hey!
00:59:43That's game point!
00:59:55Backhand this dumb fuck!
00:59:58In the name of the Lord, we rebuke you in the name of Jesus Christ!
01:00:14Roots!
01:00:14No unclean spirit!
01:00:25No devils will have any place here!
01:00:28No unclean spirit has domain here!
01:00:31In the name of the Lord, we rebuke you!
01:00:35Roots!
01:00:37Roots!
01:00:40In the name of the Lord!
01:00:42Unclean!
01:00:43Unholy spirit!
01:00:45Unclean!
01:00:46Unholy out now!
01:00:48Out now!
01:00:49In the name of the Lord!
01:00:51Out now!
01:00:53Roots!
01:00:54Unclean spirit!
01:00:57Leave this now!
01:00:58Leave this world now!
01:01:00How welcome you are!
01:01:02Until the day comes of judgment, you shall never enter this time again!
01:01:07On this day, you will not be allowed anymore!
01:01:12Judgment comes for you immediately!
01:01:14In the name of the Lord!
01:01:16You have no domain here!
01:01:19Not whatsoever!
01:01:20No!
01:01:21No!
01:01:22No!
01:01:23No!
01:01:24No!
01:01:25No!
01:01:26No!
01:01:27No!
01:01:28No!
01:01:29No!
01:01:30No!
01:01:31No!
01:01:32No!
01:01:33No!
01:01:34No!
01:01:35No!
01:01:36No!
01:01:37No!
01:01:38No!
01:01:39No!
01:01:40No!
01:01:41No!
01:01:42No!
01:01:43No!
01:01:44No!
01:01:46No!
01:01:50No!
01:01:50You will be, this is over.
01:01:52That week is over!
01:02:13Where won't you come off?
01:02:43I hate pickleball!
01:03:13I hate pickleball!
01:03:33Stop!
01:03:35Stop!
01:03:36Stop!
01:03:37Stop!
01:03:38Stop!
01:03:39Stop!
01:03:40Stop!
01:03:41Stop!
01:03:42Stop!
01:03:43Stop!
01:03:44Stop!
01:03:45Stop!
01:03:46Stop!
01:03:47Stop!
01:03:48Stop!
01:03:49I'm just a pickleball racket!
01:04:03Stop!
01:04:04I'm just a pickleball!
01:04:09I'm just a pickleball!
01:04:16Oh, oh, oh.
01:04:46Oh, oh, oh.
01:05:16Oh, oh, oh.
01:05:46Oh, oh, oh.
01:06:16Oh, oh, oh.
01:06:46Oh, oh, oh.
01:07:16Oh, oh, oh.
01:07:18Oh, oh, oh.
01:07:20Oh, oh, oh.
01:07:22Oh, oh, oh.
01:07:24Oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:07:26Oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:07:28Oh, oh, oh.
01:07:30Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:08:38Hey, mister, are you going to play?
01:08:42No, kid.
01:08:44That's a devil's game.
01:08:45That guy's a legend.
01:08:58He's the pickleball exorcist.
01:09:03Good triumphed over evil on that infamous day
01:09:31of Jed Rittenhauer's pickleball-inspired rampage.
01:09:35Given the intensity of the situation that Ernest Christensen was dealing with,
01:09:40there were many points during his manhunt that things looked extremely bleak.
01:09:45However, quitting never crossed Ernest's mind.
01:09:48Always know that if your town ever sees somebody on a pickleball rampage, there's somebody they
01:09:56can call.
01:09:57Next up, humans sacrifice dogs and cats living together.
01:10:03Mass hysteria.
01:10:04Just when it has been seeming like the terror that has befallen the town of Batcourt has
01:10:12been vanquished, it appears Ernest's job may not be done after all.
01:10:17Things have lately been perhaps too quiet in this cozy town, since suddenly word has been
01:10:22spreading like wildfire of another assault on a pickleball court.
01:10:26What has happened?
01:10:27Has somebody been killed?
01:10:29Has blood once again been running across that sacred court area known as the kitchen?
01:10:35We have live video with the victim on the scene.
01:10:38I was playing against this guy.
01:10:40I beat him a bunch of times, and then he started attacking me with his pickleball paddle.
01:10:44I think there was a knife in there.
01:10:46All of these players ran over, and the guy just started laughing and ran away.
01:10:50All of these players ran over, and the guy just started laughing and ran away.
01:11:20Ernest, I didn't think you had it in you, but thank you.
01:11:26You've got the killer.
01:11:28You did your job.
01:11:29You saved Batcourt.
01:11:30Now you can get on with your life.
01:11:33Thank you so much for ridding the world of pickleball killers.
01:11:37Thank you, Ernest.
01:11:38You really saved this community.
01:11:40You rose to the occasion.
01:11:42You saved Batcourt.
01:11:43You saved my job.
01:11:45Ernest, you did your job.
01:11:46Ernest, you did.
01:11:48You rid the world of the pickleball killer.
01:11:51Ernest, you are the pickleball exorcist.
01:11:54Thank you for your help.
01:11:56I'll be in touch.
01:11:57Wow.