Skip to playerSkip to main contentSkip to footer
movieHB
  • 2 days ago

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00My name is Mark.
00:12Mon nom est Mark.
00:16I cannot speak French.
00:19Je ne parle pas français.
00:22Could you please say that again?
00:25S'il vous plaît, pourriez-vous répéter?
00:27Please slow down a little bit.
00:30Veuillez ralentir.
00:32Veuillez parler un peu plus lentement.
00:34Oh, jeez.
01:01I did it again.
01:03I'm really so sorry.
01:04Emily, do you want to live in my apartment?
01:07Come on.
01:07I mean, even you have to admit that the floor number here makes absolutely no sense.
01:11You are very wet.
01:13What?
01:13Oh, yeah.
01:16I just ran five miles, but I don't really know what that is in kilometers.
01:20Can I get you a glass of water?
01:21It's a long way to the fifth floor.
01:23I have to get to work, but I promise I won't bang on your door again.
01:27No problem.
01:29Bang anytime.
01:29You're funny.
01:33You're funny.
01:33You're funny.
01:34You're funny.
01:34You're funny.
01:35You're funny.
01:36You're funny.
01:36You're funny.
01:37You're funny.
01:38Oh.
01:39Oh.
01:48Oh.
01:49Oh.
02:19Bonjour, la plouc.
02:25Va te faire foutre.
02:29I think I like you.
02:33French is such a funny language.
02:36Why is it la plouc and not le plouc?
02:39I guess it depends on the plouc you're referring to.
02:43Look, I know that you all aren't that happy to have me here.
02:46And my French could use some work.
02:48A little bit.
02:49Okay, it's basically married.
02:51But I have some ideas about marketing Delore that I would like to share with you.
02:56Delore.
02:59Delore.
03:00Delore.
03:01Delore.
03:02Delore.
03:04De-le-re.
03:05Delore.
03:06Delore.
03:06Delore.
03:07Delore.
03:08I don't think that's the account for you.
03:10I studied the marketing plan before I got to Paris.
03:13It's weak.
03:15Oh, how so?
03:16You're piggybacking off the ad campaign.
03:18Very little social engagement.
03:19I know you're about to launch and you're keeping me out of the loop.
03:22True.
03:23The party is tonight.
03:25Tonight?
03:26What?
03:27You're going to tell me this never?
03:29Listen, I don't agree with your approach.
03:33You want everything to be everywhere, accessible to everyone.
03:38You want to open doors.
03:40I want to close doors.
03:41We work with very exclusive brands and they require mystery and you have no mystery.
03:51You're very, very obvious.
03:53Maybe I am.
03:59But I do understand what it means to be on the outside looking in.
04:03I have a perspective that you will never understand because, no, I'm not sophisticated or French.
04:08And I don't know how to look like you.
04:10That slouchy, sexy, je ne sais quoi thing.
04:13But I am the customer that wants it.
04:16And you're not because you've already got it.
04:18And you don't even know how you did it.
04:22So you want to go to this party?
04:25Bien sûr.
04:27Fine.
04:27Be there at eight.
04:29Wonderful.
04:31Any tips on what to wear?
04:34Not that.
04:34Oh, there you are.
05:01Stop eating.
05:02Why are you eating?
05:02I'm sorry, it's just so good and I'm so hungry.
05:05Well, have a cigarette.
05:07I don't smoke.
05:08Of course you don't.
05:09Well, they will kill you.
05:12Bonsoir.
05:13C'est lui.
05:14Bonsoir.
05:15C'est toi.
05:16C'est toi.
05:17C'est toi bien?
05:18Emily.
05:19Quelle métamorphose.
05:20Très belle.
05:20Merci.
05:22Emily has just arrived from America.
05:24Oh.
05:25Antoine Lambert.
05:26And my wife Catherine.
05:28Enchantée.
05:28Enchantée here as well.
05:30Antoine, of course, owns Maison Laveau.
05:32And he's the best nose in France.
05:34Well, it's very symmetrical.
05:38Not literally my nose.
05:40A nose is what we call a perfumer.
05:42The one who composes the scent.
05:44Emily, unfortunately, does not speak French.
05:47And why do you come to Paris?
05:50To bring an American perspective on things, from a marketing point of view.
05:53And how do things look from that point of view?
05:55I think you have an amazing sexy product that could practically induce pregnancy in older women.
05:59I mean, it's part of the reason why I'm here.
06:01Sorry.
06:01Never mind.
06:05Sorry.
06:05It's a long story.
06:06Please.
06:08I'm curious.
06:09Well, I do think we can do much more on social.
06:11Last year at my company, we marketed a vaccine to help combat the chikungunya virus.
06:15And saturated the red with such gorgeous content, we were actually responsible for increasing tourism in the Virgin Islands by 30%.
06:22If you googled tropical beach vacation, paradise, or even topless beach selfies, you were directed to our product.
06:28Oh, and the best thing is, we can track everything.
06:32Who views what, when, where, and for how long.
06:34What is she saying?
06:37Juliette from Marie Claire is waiting to talk to you.
06:40Please.
06:41Interesting ideas.
06:43It's nice to meet you.
06:47Are you crazy?
06:49You don't talk about work at a party.
06:50You asked me.
06:52Well, then you changed the subject.
06:54You know, we're at a soirée, not a conference call.
06:57Oh, dear.
07:12How are you enjoying Paris?
07:14I love it.
07:15I mean, who wouldn't, right?
07:18I'm sorry if I was talking too much about work.
07:20Sometimes I just get a little over-enthusiastic, and I know it's a party.
07:26Cheers.
07:27Something.
07:30You're not wearing the perfume.
07:33Not yet.
07:33I'm sorry.
07:34Yeah.
07:37Try a little here.
07:40And right here.
07:42It suits you.
07:51It smells really good.
07:55I'm just not usually a perfume girl.
07:57No, why not?
07:59It's like wearing beautiful lingerie.
08:02Makes you feel more confident, sexier, happier.
08:05And, of course, with the right chemistry, it can be an aphrodisiac.
08:09I will keep all of that in mind for our marketing materials.
08:12User experience is key.
08:14Mm-hmm.
08:15And how do you experience it?
08:17What does it smell like to you?
08:19Gardinia.
08:22Mm-hmm.
08:23Leather.
08:25Musk.
08:27And a little bit like sweat.
08:29Although that's probably me.
08:30It's like wearing poetry.
08:33Genial.
08:35I love it.
08:36Like wearing poetry.
08:38Exactly.
08:38Perhaps you wear it and see how you feel and how other men feel around you.
08:45Or the women, as you please.
08:47I usually please men.
08:49I prefer.
08:51I usually prefer men.
08:53Well, then, you need to find yourself a nice French boyfriend.
08:57That's the best way to learn the language.
09:00In Bel.
09:01I have a boyfriend in Chicago.
09:03We're basically engaged to be engaged.
09:06He's coming here soon.
09:07I'm not sure that's going to help with your French.
09:11I'm very happy to have an American on my team.
09:13We will learn from each other.
09:21Expensive sex.
09:24Excuse me?
09:25That's what it smells like to me.
09:27Expensive sex.
09:29Well, better than a cheap date.
09:33I look forward to working with you.
09:38And to get to know you.
09:40Emily.
09:40Hello, Emily.
09:48Hello, Julien.
09:49Hello, Julien.
10:02hey very successful party last night antoine was impressed with you he would like you to work on
10:12the account really yeah that's great i thought maybe i was too enthusiastic i would love the
10:19help on the account but we discussed that emily was going to work on vagina yeah uh what what's
10:25vagina suppositoire so that the vagina can become mouillée i'm sorry suppositories to promote
10:32vaginal wetness in older women because the weather in the vagina when the lady is older isn't so
10:38mouille anymore i i get it mouillée très bien so you learned a new word so emily will work on this
10:45for now oh hey it's an important product a necessity so first you start with the necessities and then
10:51you move to the luxuries yeah exactly and your experience is with pharmaceutical so this makes
10:57total sense of course good good oh also i think perhaps last night you were a little too friendly
11:09with antoine what no he seemed very friendly with you i think he was just being french
11:16and you find him attractive yes no no he's married i met his wife
11:23hmm so you do find him attractive he's a client a married client exactly and his wife is very nice
11:31and a very good friend of mine i will send you all the materials for version
11:36something you should know sylvie is artoine's mistress
11:51you
12:08you
12:12you never flirt with another woman in front of your mistress
12:33it's worse than doing it in front of your wife
12:35they were in the same room to be precise
12:37oh then they probably know each other
12:39I'm sure they're friends
12:40really you think Antoine's wife knows about his affair with Sylvie
12:43of course I'm sure she approves
12:45why nobody wants to have to have sex with the same person forever
12:49I bet she has a lover too
12:51okay my head is just completely spinning
12:54they're all in it together
12:55I think it's probably tolerated more than discussed
13:00but I don't get it what's the point of being married
13:04if you're just going to cheat on your spouse
13:05maybe after you're married for 20 years you might feel differently
13:08I mean the French are romantics but they're also realists
13:11oh cute alert
13:13how do you know about this place?
13:15I live right down there
13:15and every time I pass by it's packed
13:17oh bon appetit
13:19santé
13:21so what brought you to Paris?
13:24at first business school
13:27my father insisted
13:28he's used to getting his way
13:29he's the zipper king of China
13:32the zipper king?
13:34yes
13:34and also many other kinds of fasteners
13:37he's got the world by the balls
13:38literally
13:39and well it's his dream
13:43to have his only child
13:45me
13:46take over the family business
13:47well what's your dream?
13:49just anything but that
13:50but ever since I was a child
13:52I was obsessed with the idea of living in Paris
13:55so I enrolled in school here
13:57and dropped out
13:58I'm used to getting my way too
14:01I see
14:01so that's why you became a nanny
14:03yes because when my father found out
14:05he cut me off
14:06oh
14:07I'm sorry
14:08that's harsh
14:09no no no no
14:10it's wonderful
14:11I mean I'd much rather have my freedom
14:13otherwise I'd be living a very
14:15predictable life in China
14:17you know it's funny
14:19I grew up with nannies
14:20and now I am one
14:21well I'm very glad you're here
14:23ugh
14:25this steak isn't cooked at all
14:26um
14:27excuse me pardon
14:29monsieur
14:29uh
14:31I ordered this medium
14:33and it's still kind of bloody
14:34yeah
14:34I'll amore some steak
14:35you create s'il vous plaît
14:37uh
14:37yeah what she said
14:38yeah just make sure to never order the re-devo
14:45what's that
14:46rice with you
14:47no
14:47see
14:48that's what I thought
14:49I think it's brains or balls
14:51but it tastes like ass
14:52the chef tells me
14:55the steak
14:56is correct
14:57um
14:59well
14:59correct for him
15:00but not correct for me
15:01I suggest you try it
15:04uh
15:05maybe you suggest
15:05you cook it longer
15:06yeah I'll take yours
15:07no no no
15:08come on
15:08the customer is always right
15:10no here
15:11the customer is never right
15:12well
15:13maybe I'll educate the chef
15:14a little bit about customer service
15:16you think you're gonna change
15:18the entire french culture
15:19by sending back a steak
15:20Gabrielle
15:23Emily
15:24Mindy
15:27you're the chef here
15:29oui
15:30is there a problem
15:31no
15:32no
15:33I love it
15:34everything is perfect
15:35you haven't touched it
15:37you know I'd be happy to burn it for you
15:40but promise me you'll try it first
15:41yeah
15:42try his meat
15:43Emily
15:43surprisingly tender
15:58tender
15:58see
15:59I knew you'd like it
16:00if you gave it a chance
16:01bon appétit ladies
16:03bon appétit
16:06and bon appétit him
16:08I feel sexy
16:16you
16:16make it sound low
16:19I feel sexy
16:38hey
16:49you must be at the airport by now
16:52I packed
16:54I took a week off of work
16:56and then I thought
16:57what am I gonna do there all day
17:00what
17:01I don't know
17:02see the sights
17:04I mean
17:04Paris is kind of famous for its sights
17:06yeah
17:07alone
17:08while you're working
17:09well
17:10our lunches are pretty extensive here
17:12I mean
17:13I could spend three hours with you in the Louvre in the afternoon
17:15and no one would miss me
17:16wait is this
17:20about the Cubs
17:21no
17:22because we can watch the playoffs in a slingbox
17:25you won't have to miss a game
17:26that's
17:28that's not what this is about
17:29that's not what this is about
17:29what is this about
17:31I don't know how to do long distance
17:34well
17:37you start by getting on a flight
17:39I thought we'd figure this all out
17:42no
17:42you had this figured out
17:44and
17:45I'm sorry if I don't fit into your spreadsheet
17:47but
17:48I like our life in Chicago
17:50this is Paris
17:52wait are you not
17:59like coming here
18:01ever
18:02I think you should come home
18:04or what
18:06we're over
18:08I can't believe this
18:13you know what
18:15you can keep your precious air miles
18:17and spend it on some away game
18:19and stay in Chicago
18:20for the rest of your life
18:21because
18:21because this city
18:22is filled with
18:23with
18:24love
18:25and romance
18:26and light
18:27and beauty
18:27and passion
18:28and sex
18:29which are clearly things
18:31that mean nothing to you
18:32whoa
18:33wait I'm sorry
18:34are you still there
18:34I think I lost you
18:35I don't
18:36yeah
18:37you did
18:39wait wait
18:40Emily
18:40wait
18:41Emily
18:42no I'm done waiting
18:43I gotta go
18:45I know the man is you defend
18:47time time time
18:51time time
18:54time time
18:56time time
18:56time time
18:57time time
18:58time time time
19:00time time time
19:02time time time
19:04time time time
19:05time time time
19:06time time
19:07time time
19:08time time
19:09time time
19:10time time time
19:11time time time time
19:12time time time time time time
19:13I'm trying that way, again and again, there's no time for giving up.
19:31Bonjour, Emily.
19:33Bonjour.
19:33I'm trying the other way, again and again, there's no time for giving up.
19:43I guess everyone wants one.
20:01The irony of menopause, just when you have the time to really explore your mature, adventurous,
20:09sensual self, the vagina goes on strike.
20:16Are you kidding me?
20:21Why is the vagina masculine?
20:23Pardon?
20:25Why is it le vagin and not la vagin?
20:32Oh, you mean le vagin?
20:33Oh, I don't know.
20:34It just is.
20:35Maybe it's because it's something a woman owns and a man possesses.
20:40Your language is seriously effed up.
20:55Oh, this was a big mistake.
20:56I should never have come here.
20:57No.
20:58No.
20:59It's good you came.
21:00Better than wasting another minute on a man who won't leave Chicago.
21:07I feel like Alice through the looking glass.
21:08It's like up is down.
21:09I'll never learn the language or understand anything here.
21:14Do you realize the city is laid out in circles?
21:15Like they deliberately designed it to confuse us.
21:16It's an illogical culture, but it's a beautiful one, too.
21:17It's like up is down.
21:18I'll never learn the language or understand anything here.
21:19Do you realize the city is laid out in circles?
21:20Like they deliberately designed it to confuse us.
21:21It's an illogical culture, but it's a beautiful one, too.
21:22Better to just let it wash over you.
21:23Yeah, but that's just it.
21:24I'm worried I might drown.
21:25Maybe I'm just...
21:26No.
21:27No.
21:28No.
21:29No.
21:30No.
21:31No.
21:32No.
21:33No.
21:34No.
21:35No.
21:36No.
21:37No.
21:38No.
21:39No.
21:40No.
21:41No.
21:42No.
21:43No.
21:45No.
21:46No.
21:47No.
21:48No.
21:49No.
21:50No.
21:51No.
21:52It's not cut out for the city.
21:53You know, I thought it was going to be an adventure.
21:55And it is.
21:55Maybe an even better one than you imagined.
21:59I've just never pictured myself here alone.
22:03You're not alone.
22:05You have a friend here now.
22:07Paris is the most exciting city in the world,
22:11and you never know what's going to happen next.
22:14Laurent.
22:15Phah, phah, phah.
22:17Phah, phah, phah.
22:18Phah, chow.
22:20Little shit.
22:22You'll be fine.
22:53Bon ben voilà, c'est la fin.
22:56Franchement, vous allez me manquer.
22:58Je vais nous oublier dès que tu mets un pied dans le fusil.
23:01Vendus et abandonnés, voilà ce qu'on est.
23:03Rien ne va changer.
23:05La fille !
23:07Elle est si mauvaise que ça ?
23:09Elle est fatigante.
23:11Au moins, elle est canon.
23:13Franchement, ça aurait pu être pire.
23:15Moi, je la trouve bien.
23:17Un chèque, ça te suffit.
23:19Non, mais...
23:22Oh putain.
23:24Quoi ?
23:25J'ai un message du président de Vagagen.
23:27Brigitte Macron vient de poster sur son compte Twitter un truc sur leur produit.
23:32Et ça vient du compte Instagram d'Emilie.
23:34Oh wow !
23:36Brigitte Macron ?
23:38Le client est aux anges.
23:40Le Vagagen n'est pas masculin.
23:42Ah ça, c'est certain.
23:43Oh my god.
23:44Emilie !
23:45Emilie !
23:46Come join us ! Come !
23:58Come.
24:04I'm sorry.
24:08Please.
24:10I guess you saw the post.
24:12Yeah.
24:13Emily, you have made my last day here quite memorable.
24:18I'm so glad.
24:20Yeah, well done, Emily.
24:22Well, I guess a new chapter at Savoie has begun.
24:25Thank you, Sylvie.
24:25I'm really looking forward to working with you.
24:29To our very own American Vaja Jeune.
24:33To our Vaja Jeune.
24:34To our Vaja Jeune.
24:35To our Vaja Jeune.
24:55Vaja Jeune.
24:59Vaja Jeune.
25:02Vaja Jeune.