“When Elders Resist Change Handle Stubbornness with Compassion  Psychology of Resistance” - video Dailymotion

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“When Elders Resist Change Handle Stubbornness with Compassion  Psychology of Resistance”

Transcript

00:00When someone you love refuses to budge, it's tempting to throw up your hands in frustration.

00:05You point out the logic, plead your case, maybe even raise your voice.

00:10But when an elder in your life insists, I've done it this way for 40 years,

00:15while you're trying to explain, but it doesn't work anymore,

00:18you're not just meeting stubbornness.

00:21You're meeting a lifetime of habits, values, and, often, a quiet fear beneath the surface.

00:27So how do you handle resistance with heart?

00:30Not heat.

00:31It's easy to call it stubbornness, but psychology suggests something deeper.

00:36As we age, our brains naturally become less flexible in the face of uncertainty.

00:41The world feels like it's accelerating, changing faster than ever before,

00:45and familiar routines become a safe harbor, a way to hold on to a sense of control and identity.

00:52Change, no matter how small, can trigger feelings of loss.

00:55It can make someone feel like they're losing their independence, or worse, that they're being left behind.

01:02Even something as simple as learning a new phone or changing a daily habit can stir up shame or embarrassment,

01:09especially if it shines a light on feeling out of touch.

01:13So the no you hear might not be defiance.

01:16It might be fear of irrelevance, confusion, or simply not being able to keep up.

01:21When you push back, when you say things like, just try it, or you're being difficult, those walls only get taller.

01:28No matter how logical your reasoning, the moment someone feels cornered, their brain's fear center, the amygdala, fires up.

01:37It doesn't matter if the change is obviously helpful, or if you're just trying to make life easier.

01:42In that moment, every nudge can feel like a threat.

01:45The more you push, the less likely they are to listen, and the more likely they are to dig in their heels.

01:51What actually moves the conversation forward isn't pressure.

01:55It's validation, collaboration, and emotional pacing.

01:59It's not about winning. It's about protecting the relationship.

02:02So, what can you do?

02:04Here are three gentle strategies to handle resistance with compassion and effectiveness.

02:10First, lead with curiosity, not correction.

02:13Instead of launching into why your way is better, start by asking,

02:17Tell me why this way matters to you.

02:19Really listen.

02:21You might discover a reason you hadn't considered, a memory, a tradition, or just a sense of pride.

02:28Once they feel heard, invite them to experiment.

02:31Would you be open to trying my way once, just to see how it feels?

02:36Framing it as an experiment lowers the stakes and makes it less threatening.

02:40Second, anchor change to familiar values.

02:43Rather than presenting the new way as a replacement, tie it to something they've always believed in.

02:49If your parent taught you the value of planning ahead, you might say,

02:54You always taught us to be prepared.

02:56Using this app helps me do that.

02:58Connecting the change to their own values or legacy makes it feel less like a loss

03:03and more like an extension of what matters to them.

03:06Third, use progress, not perfection, as your yardstick.

03:09Don't set yourself up for disappointment by expecting a full yes right away.

03:15Celebrate small steps.

03:17Thanks for trying Zoom with me today.

03:19That meant a lot.

03:21Every tiny effort is a win, and positive reinforcement builds confidence and trust.

03:26Change is hard, not just for elders, but for all of us.

03:30When we meet resistance with compassion, we open doors instead of closing hearts.

03:34Remember, you're not just dealing with a habit.

03:38You're connecting with a person whose story goes deeper than you see.

03:42What change was hardest for the elders in your family to accept?

03:46Reflect on it and know that every effort to lead with empathy makes your bond stronger.

03:50Like and subscribe for more insights on lifestyle psychology, emotional intelligence, and growing stronger together.

“When Elders Resist Change Handle Stubbornness with Compassion Psychology of Resistance”

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