- 6/21/2025
#CinemaJourney
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Melissa knows that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
00:18And it's exactly what Henry needs to bring home the bacon.
00:23She also knows that the key to a happy marriage
00:30is knowing when to keep your mouth shut
00:36and make a damn good cup of joe.
00:43And when the time comes to send him off for the day,
00:47give him something to remember.
00:50And once he's gone, she must clean, clean, and clean.
00:57After all, a pristine home is the...
01:00No!
01:07No!
01:19No!
01:20No!
01:22No!
01:24No!
01:26No!
01:28No!
01:30No!
01:31No!
01:32No!
01:33No!
01:34No!
01:35No!
01:36No!
01:37No!
01:38No!
01:39No!
01:40No!
01:41No!
01:42No!
01:43No!
01:44No!
01:45No!
01:46No!
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01:48No!
01:49No!
01:50No!
01:51No!
01:52No!
01:53No!
01:54No!
01:55No!
01:56No!
01:57No!
01:58No!
01:59No!
02:00No!
02:01No!
02:02No!
02:03No!
02:04No!
02:05No!
02:06No!
02:07No!
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02:14No!
02:15No!
02:16No!
02:17No!
02:18No!
02:19road on a Thursday afternoon. It's 3.30, school's getting up. There's a snotty little private
02:23school kid on a Lyme scooter. He's a future sex trafficker or a Prime Minister. Either
02:27way, it doesn't matter. He has no respect for footpath etiquette, pregnant woman or the
02:31general public. He scoots his Lyme scooter illegally across the road at a non-crossing
02:37where he then gets pancaked by a truck. Or he would if I didn't heroically jump into
02:42oncoming traffic, tackle him off his stupid scooter, saving his life, also changing it
02:46forever. No more sex trafficker, no more Prime Minister. No, he's going to dedicate his
02:49life to the public good and eradicate world hunger by 2060. I'm sorry, what does this
02:53have to do with anything? Well, in the course of saving this little shithead's life, I have
02:57a miscarriage, swapping the life of my unborn baby for another. I should name a building
03:03after me. Look, logistics aside, no, we are not staging a horrific miscarriage. Why are
03:11you squeamish? No, it's bad karma for like reincarnation. Only if you don't.
03:16Look, do you want to be with me? Are you fishing for compliments?
03:27Uh, yeah? Okay, are you happy with me? What, are we like gonna sing a duet? Because
03:35I'm happy with you. Okay. You're not the worst. Wow. Thanks. Look, what if we made it real?
03:55Are you serious? Why not? For like a million reasons. The jazz? I'm not ready. Oh, whoever
04:03is. People who do IVF. People who adopt. Octomum. The reality show. I'd be a terrible mother.
04:10I'm impatient. I'm angry. Like, all the time. I'm, uh, selfish. I'm... You're kind. Not
04:16nice, necessarily, but you're patient when it matters. You're smart. You're tough. You're
04:21the most unapologetic person I've ever met. I can't think of anyone else who'll make a
04:27call a mum. And I'm not the worst. Apparently. Debatable. Think about it. That's all I'm asking.
04:47Uh, Henry, are you okay? Yeah. Why? You're eating a salad. So? It's a pretty worrying behaviour.
04:57Yeah, I've never seen you voluntarily eat anything that grows from a tree. You're thinking
05:00of fruit. Vegetables grow on vines in the ground. Oh, so then why did you add banana,
05:05orange, and pomegranate to a salmon and arugula salad? It makes no culinary sense.
05:08Hmm, that's even weird for me, bro. Look, I'm just trying to stay regular, okay? And vitamin
05:14C increases sperm count. Sorry, what? So he wants a real baby. He wants me to think about
05:20it. But, like, you know, in the hypothetical, abstract, Schrodinger's Future kind of way,
05:24where anything can happen. Okay, well, in a hypothetical, abstract, whatever kind of way,
05:30you would have had to have conceived a baby, like, two months ago? Well, I'll just say it's
05:34two months late. No big deal. No, it's a big deal. Two months would be, like, a medical anomaly.
05:39Plus, that's even assuming that you can conceive right away. Allie, I think I'll be
05:44fine. It's not what I meant. Wait, what? What is he trying to say? It's not just about
05:49sperm count. It's about sperm quality. Trust me, bro. I am a mega donor at the local sperm
05:55bank. It doesn't matter how many you've got if they can't get the job done. Well, why do
05:58you think I'm eating this salad? It doesn't work that fast. Unfortunately, declining sperm
06:03health in men over 35 is an issue that isn't talked about enough in our culture. Yes, so if
06:07your buddies aren't match fit, this won't just be a medical anomaly, it'll be a medical abomination.
06:11You really think your parents can handle that? Relax, okay? The thing that Chinese parents
06:16care about when it comes to babies is that one eventually comes out. Anyway, I can't get
06:22into this zygote counting thing with you today. Today's the 15th. You literally need to decide
06:26to take. Because I'm settling the house. You don't think it's kind of fishy that he's
06:33springing this on you now? Fishy? How? Come on, Henry. The private school stuff, the robot
06:38tamagotchi thing. It's pretty weird. Fucking weird. It's called an e-baby.
06:43We're just saying that you have a history of rushing into the fire to get out of the frying
06:46pan. So as your friend... Oh God, this is disgusting. Are you sure you're not using all this mess to get
06:52Melissa to do what you want? Because he wants a real baby. See? This is why you shouldn't eat salad, bro.
07:04That is so manipulative. Henry would never do that.
07:08Now if you excuse me, my girlfriend is about to become a homeowner.
07:13It's dirtier than I remember. They just taped the keys on the side.
07:21It's not a car, Henry. No one's going to drive off with it.
07:25I don't think anyone would want to.
07:34Wow. Bougie.
07:36Dear Melissa, wishing you all the best
07:41on your new home.
07:44Nice.
07:47Oh, it'll need a new fridge.
07:49And we should probably
07:51rip up the carpet.
07:53Maybe call pest control.
07:58You really like it, huh?
08:00Yeah.
08:04I'll let you two have a moment.
08:06Congratulations!
08:25Housewarming. Let's go!
08:28Proud of you, Ma.
08:30And you?
08:31I mean, this is the closest any of us will come to...
08:33So, you're a landlord now.
08:35I had a little help from my soon-to-be property manager.
08:39It's that side.
08:43Dave.
08:44Dave, I'm going to cut you.
09:03Oh, shit.
09:05What are you doing here, Mom and Dad?
09:09Mr. and Mrs. Lee?
09:10We can't even miss this big day.
09:13Oh, yeah.
09:15Congratulations.
09:16This is good.
09:17This looks like a halfway house.
09:20There is mold in the bathroom.
09:35I had to hold my breath.
09:36Okay, I'm sure it wasn't a toxic variant.
09:39Bro, mold keeps the spiders away.
09:40I say leave it in there.
09:42Am I right?
09:42I think you're not really going to live here.
09:46There's nothing good to celebrate.
09:47If you're going to celebrate the next day,
09:49you'll be able to live together.
09:50That would be better.
09:51I can feel it.
09:53The baby's head will be very big.
09:55Like you.
09:56I have to pay.
09:56Excuse us.
09:59Fertilization business.
10:00Whoa.
10:02Ew.
10:03Ow, what?
10:04Why did you invite my parents?
10:06I did not invite your parents.
10:08You need to tell me that my mother,
10:09who hasn't remembered my birthday since I came out of her,
10:11had my settlement day marked in her calendar?
10:14Melissa, everyone gets born, okay?
10:15Buying a house in this economy is an actual achievement.
10:18Did you do all this baby crap too?
10:24What?
10:25No.
10:26So you didn't do all of this to convince me to have a real baby with you
10:29to get everyone off our back?
10:31Okay, one, that is the act of a psychopath.
10:33And two, I've done a lot of stupid shit in my life.
10:36True.
10:36Mostly with you, but that would be the act of...
10:38How long have you been sitting there?
10:43You smug little...
10:45Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
10:47I've got this, I've got this.
10:48Hey, little guy.
10:53Sorry, she's just a little stressed at the moment.
10:57Look, how about you and me, man to man, cards on the table.
11:01Please don't tell your mum we're thinking of having a real baby.
11:08I've got a corner cafe loyalty card.
11:14Eight cups filled.
11:16And $20.
11:18You know, in this economy, it's pretty tough.
11:28Um...
11:29What is that you're drinking over there, huh?
11:34Some kind of chia seeds, spirulina, detox, whatever?
11:38But what if I could get you off your mum's Venice Beach diet for a day, huh?
11:43I'm thinking Tim Tams?
11:47Doritos?
11:49MSG?
11:51What do you say?
11:52Tomorrow afternoon, I take you out for a McFlurry and a Happy Meal?
11:55Do we have ourselves a deal?
11:58I guess you won't be needing enough.
12:00Tomorrow, we're on Talibab.
12:05No.
12:07Money?
12:08I'm taking a shit!
12:12Mandy, I was about to take...
12:14Are you and Henry going to have a real baby?
12:29No?
12:30I heard you from the kitchen because your walls are so cheap.
12:33Tell Henry thanks for the $30, by the way.
12:35I hope it's on some high life savings.
12:37Fuck.
12:38Fuck.
12:39Fuck.
12:40Harry, come here, come here, come here.
12:41Come here, come here.
12:42I'm going to show you how to eat the food for a baby, huh?
12:45It's a DIY baby's fruit.
12:47It doesn't have a化学成分.
12:48It doesn't have a supplement.
12:49It doesn't have a supplement.
12:50This guy is crazy.
12:51It's a man's taste.
12:53That's disgusting.
12:54Hey.
12:55That's cool, bro.
12:56If you don't have the real master strength to provide for your offspring,
12:59just say so.
13:01These babies, 90 kg of force per square inch.
13:05That's amazing.
13:06I'm like a chimpanzee.
13:08Oh, meth.
13:09If you had a flight force of 90 kg, you'd be a Neanderthal.
13:12Are you calling me a liar, bro?
13:13Henry, you have to be a liar.
13:15How do you become a good father?
13:17If you don't have a kid, you'll be a liar.
13:19Come on.
13:20Yeah, Henry.
13:26You're having a baby.
13:28Oh, my God.
13:29This is so, so, so exciting.
13:31I am so glad you finally decided to get your life together.
13:34Between us, who's the homeowner and whose husband blew their entire bank account on VR.
13:39Oh.
13:40You mean the shitbox you bought with the inheritance money you swindled from our dying aunt by pretending to be pregnant?
13:47She's not dying.
13:48What are you calling me?
13:50Oh.
13:51Dio!
13:52Dio!
13:53Dio!
13:54Dio!
13:55Dio!
13:56Dio!
13:57Dio!
13:58Dio!
13:59Dio!
14:00Dio!
14:01This is a private space.
14:02I was just passing by.
14:03Well, pass on.
14:04And I wanted to mention that it's probably fiscally responsible for you to have a kid now while you're young and horny and
14:10Tayo, Tayo, Tayo
14:12He isn't far and blank
14:13And love
14:14You should talk for love
14:15Whoa
14:16That is a terrible reason to have a baby
14:19Tayo, Tayo, Tayo, Tayo, Tayo, Tayo, Tayo, Tayo, Tayo, Tayo, Tayo
14:29You wouldn't send a soldier to war without the proper training
14:32And the fact of the matter is, you are not ready, he is not ready
14:35Together, they are not ready
14:37Oh, hey, what are we arguing about in here?
14:38I was just talking about how Melissa and Henry aren't ready to have a real baby
14:41Oh, yeah, absolutely not
14:42Oh, why not?
14:43Wow, I wasn't aware that my vagina was a public housing project that you all needed to sign off on
14:47Look, look, your body, your choice
14:49Wow, that's nice to know
14:52From my one-time Uber driver
14:54I think it should be a mutual decision
14:56Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
14:57Well, it would be a mutual decision
14:59But I could just take, like, five minutes so that I could hear myself think
15:01So he is pressuring her
15:04Is that what he's doing? He's pressuring her?
15:06I mean, pressure is a strong word
15:07Diamonds are made under pressure
15:09Oh, shut up
15:10Shut up, so what you're doing is not actually helpful
15:12No, look, Henry may be naive and indecisive and occasionally stupid and short-sighted
15:18Both literally and figuratively, but he's a good guy
15:20I never said that he was
15:21None of you know what you're talking about
15:23Oh, my God
15:24Do you love him?
15:24Oh, well, come on
15:25Do you think that he'd be there for you?
15:27Okay, that's actually, yeah
15:28There comes a point in your life when you realise that everyone you know is just pretending
15:35to be adult
15:36Pretending to be strong
15:38And we're all swimming against the tide looking for a shore
15:41Looking for a harbour
15:43What else is there?
15:53Ow!
15:54Ow!
15:56Done!
15:58Yes!
15:58No!
16:00I want to relax!
16:01No, no, no, no
16:02Relax!
16:03Relax!
16:03Relax!
16:04Hey, did you see what I've just done?
16:09Jamal, let's have a baby
16:11Hey…
16:15Really?
16:18Yeah
16:41You were pretty young when you hit me, weren't you?
16:47When I was your age, you were already eight years old.
16:50I was not.
16:53You're so fat.
16:54Do you know how to win at school?
16:56You sit in the kids' right here.
16:59Well, they probably deserved it.
17:02Were you surprised when you found out that you were...
17:05Oh, yes.
17:05I thought I was going to get you back then.
17:07You were going to kill me?
17:08Where are your feminists from?
17:10You're not saying it's my body, my tempo.
17:12Firstly, it's my body, my choice.
17:15And secondly...
17:17You've never told me that.
17:19I was very young.
17:22New job, new office, new safety.
17:25Every day I work for a few hours.
17:27At night I still have to go to karaoke.
17:30And your father?
17:31He's a whole...
17:33How do you say in English?
17:35Fuck boy.
17:36I've got a lot of friends around.
17:38I know, of course, I'm so excited.
17:39I've got a lot of friends around, and I'm so excited.
17:41Oh, rude.
17:43I'll go to my doctor's house.
17:44I said, get this demand out of me.
17:47Why didn't you?
17:49You said my mother would say how to say?
17:51She said, I told you so.
17:53But I think I know your father's性格.
17:56Some men are like a boy for a life.
17:59You're like a boy for a boy for a boy.
18:01Look, there's a baby.
18:03No more fuck boy.
18:05And guess what?
18:06I was right.
18:07We're out of ice.
18:207.50.
18:40Can I use the bathroom?
18:42Psst. Over here, dipshit.
19:06Is there somebody that you forgot to ask?
19:10Jesus.
19:11No, idiot.
19:12Me.
19:13Moi.
19:14Us.
19:19You talk a big game, yeah?
19:22I'm Melissa, and I'm a big bad bitch.
19:27But the moment somebody applies the teeniest, tiniest bit of pressure, you fold.
19:33I mean, what happened to Patagonia?
19:36What happened to riding wild mustangs on the Argentinian steps?
19:40I mean, I'm surprised that you can ride a horse.
19:42I would have thought that you needed a spine for that.
19:45That's not fair.
19:46It's not fair.
19:47It's not fair.
19:48It's not fair.
19:49It's not fair.
19:51I'm Melissa, and I'm gonna have a baby because it's too hard to say no, and I would rather
19:58put my life on hold because if I do what I actually want, then I might hurt Henry's feelings.
20:07Shut the fuck?
20:08Ah!
20:09Make me weak, snivelling.
20:10I'm a baby.
20:11No number two.
20:12I need a pregnancy test.
20:19Now!
20:20Ten dollars.
20:21Ah, congratulations.
20:22You did it.
20:23You sly dog you.
20:24What?
20:25Well, you successfully manipulated Melissa into having your baby.
20:41Honestly, I didn't think you had it in you.
20:43Ellie, I did not manipulate Melissa, okay?
20:46Mm-hmm.
20:47I just asked her to consider it.
20:48That's all.
20:49Well, did you ever think maybe even just you asking was enough to tip the scales?
20:55What are you saying?
20:57Well, I just failed it.
21:16Like, could you just ask, well, I'll tell them all about you, please.
21:26If you could see the world, Looking through my eyes, then you'd see everything, anything you
21:29like.
21:30Forget about the ones, Who say you don't belong, You'd know if they were wrong.
21:38Just see the world, Looking through my eyes.
21:42I, I, I...
21:53I, I, I...
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