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Toxic Season 1 Episode 1

#Toxic
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Transcript
00:009-1-1, where's your emergency?
00:12Okay, what's the address?
00:15Everything's okay.
00:16Sorry.
00:17Christopher charmed his way in.
00:21He saw that she was successful, had her own house, had her own cars, had her own money.
00:27You know, a wolf in sheep's clothing.
00:30He told me that he was absolutely in love with my best friend.
00:34She said yes!
00:36I've seen the pictures of blood smeared all over here.
00:39I found a hole in the wall right about the size of Kelly's head.
00:45He really was fully committed to winning over Kelly.
00:48He's charming. He's a chameleon. He could change anything about himself.
00:52All that manipulation, he's going to kill somebody.
00:57So that's a killing instinct.
00:58His job is for any threat.
01:01When you are in that deep, dark space, you just see it in their eyes.
01:08He's loving what he did.
01:10And to her, it's like a trophy to him.
01:11When it comes to love, betrayal is the death of a thousand dreams.
01:24And the unraveling of countless lives, you can spend years picking up the pieces, examining them, rearranging them.
01:39Digging through the past to make sense of it all.
01:41Navigating through my personal heartbreak took me back to my roots as an investigative journalist.
01:47Hi, I'm Elizabeth Chambers, Elizabeth Chambers, Elizabeth Chambers, outside the Los Angeles Police Department.
01:53It ignited a curiosity inside of me about love that fractures.
01:56Oh my God.
01:57Inflicts lasting trauma.
01:59Hi, I wanted to see if I could ask you some questions.
02:01Absolutely not.
02:02And can lead to tragedy.
02:04And that's when my world ended.
02:06I feel that it's part of my calling to meet with the victims, the survivors, to listen to their stories, show how it can happen to anyone, and expose the truth.
02:19I'm Elizabeth Chambers, and this is Toxic.
02:23We've all found ourselves in difficult relationships that have left lasting trauma.
02:38I've connected with countless people who have endured traumatic and tragic relationships.
02:43The costs can be immeasurable.
02:46You can lose so much, but the worst thing you can lose is your voice.
02:50And when you lose your voice, you need others to lend theirs to you, to your story.
02:58That's how I connected with Christina Henschel.
03:00Her best friend Kelly married a man who, on the surface, seemed like a knight in shining armor.
03:06But deep down, he was a manipulative monster.
03:11Christina, Elizabeth, mark yourself sticks.
03:14Christina, tell me about when you first met Kelly.
03:17The way we met is actually a very interesting story.
03:21I had a best friend, which I thought was a best friend.
03:24Kelly had the same friend as well.
03:26And we all met for a photographer brunch, which is like a boozy brunch where you dance on tables.
03:33And the very, very, very long story short, we found out that this same exact best friend that we both had was sleeping with both our boyfriends.
03:42So then there's this camaraderie, right?
03:46When I first met her, I was thrown off because I didn't know where she came from.
03:51I walk into her house, and she has a beautiful home that she owns by herself.
03:56Single woman, beautiful.
03:58She has her own practice.
04:00When she was dating online or dating through friends, I would always warn her, don't ever let anybody come into your home because Kelly was successful.
04:08And they walk through the garage, they see a Corvette, you're wearing nice jewelry, or your mother's crystal sitting there.
04:15From my personal experience, I find that's when men, they start to take advantage of you.
04:21How did Kelly meet Chris?
04:23She just went on the dating website and got to know him.
04:27She told me that he once was in the Army.
04:32Kelly was super excited.
04:33Chris was good-looking, empathetic, successful.
04:37When did you first meet him in person?
04:39I met Chris about a month after they started dating.
04:43I was enamored by Chris.
04:45I found him to be charming.
04:47He was fascinated by Kelly and was absolutely in love with Kelly.
04:51And that's exactly what anybody wants through their best friend.
05:01When Chris told me that he was going to propose to Kelly, obviously I'm super happy.
05:06When I said I'll plan to come as well, he said to me it's only family.
05:12So at this point, Kelly, I am basically her only family.
05:16I felt he was controlling our friendship, that I wasn't even allowed to be there.
05:21I asked Chris just to videotape it for me so I can at least see it.
05:25Yay!
05:26She said yes!
05:28It was a very intimate wedding.
05:30It was absolutely beautiful.
05:31That night, we were sitting down having dinner and we all started just having this, you know, free conversation.
05:39Chris made some sort of comment that then sparked for me to say, well, I married her first.
05:44Because Kelly and I did this, like, fake ceremony thing when we decided to become best friends.
05:49Where we wore our old wedding dresses and had a fake ceremony.
05:52And when I made this joke, and it was just a joke, it's not like there's real paperwork.
05:57He made a fit.
05:58He got up.
05:58He stormed out.
05:59He didn't finish half the rest of the dinner on his wedding day.
06:04That definitely sounds like a bit of a red flag.
06:06It was a red flag for me, for sure.
06:08Did you notice her beginning to change at all?
06:10I could not tell you how much our relationship changed when she married Chris.
06:15Before Kelly met Chris, I was up at her house every weekend, every other weekend.
06:21Eight months went by after they got married.
06:24And all that time, maybe four times, I got to see Kelly.
06:28Being able to call her on the phone and hearing her voice, that was basically the only time that I knew she was okay.
06:40Sorry.
06:43Kelly had it all.
06:44She had her house.
06:45She had her job.
06:46She had her career.
06:47She had her cars and her dog.
06:49But she was really manifesting that final missing puzzle piece for her.
06:53She wanted a partner.
06:54She wanted someone to share her life with.
06:56But she got married in two months, moved in in three.
06:59And she knew he was the one.
07:00When you know, you know.
07:02Chris ticked all the boxes.
07:05He was her missing puzzle piece.
07:06Until he destroyed her puzzle.
07:08December 2019, I received a phone call from Chris.
07:17He was inviting me for a girls weekend.
07:20And Chris basically was saying, I really want to do something special for Kelly.
07:24He told me, I'm going to get you guys massages.
07:30And he made sure that when we got to the massage parlor that everything was paid for.
07:34He made sure that he put two umbrellas in the massage place because it was raining that day.
07:40When we got back after the massages, Chris had a bottle of wine waiting for us.
07:55He was serving us wine.
07:57He knows how to work a room.
08:00He's charming.
08:01That was the last time I saw Kelly before the attack.
08:07F*** you.
08:09I loved you with everything I f***ing had.
08:12I wanted you to f***ing love me.
08:14And take care of me.
08:15Like I deserve.
08:16That scene was described as one of the worst cases you've ever witnessed in your entire career.
08:27Kelly was one of those, yes.
08:29On that night, what did you see?
08:339-1-1, where's your emergency?
08:35That night, dispatch put a call out of an active domestic.
08:39And so everybody just flew out of headquarters and just got right to the scene.
08:52I was the first at the front door.
08:56So I saw a big window in front, and I see this naked guy walking inside, going downstairs.
09:02And then he disappeared.
09:06Dispatch had said the guy was armed with a knife.
09:08We opened the door.
09:13And there is a male.
09:19He was almost incoherent.
09:21He is naked and bloody.
09:27He was on some sort of a rant.
09:30How he was in the war.
09:32How he killed people.
09:34He just was not following any of our commands.
09:38He was on your side, bud.
09:39Come on.
09:40I am on your side.
09:40No, no, you're on your back.
09:42Finally, we got him handcuffed.
09:53Inside the house, I saw every room was destroyed.
09:57There was blood on the walls.
10:05TVs pulled off the wall.
10:08Tables overturned.
10:10The master bedroom was destroyed.
10:13It was probably one of the worst scenes I had ever seen.
10:17Once you looked around the house, what were your thoughts?
10:25How did she survive?
10:27My name is Kelly Sutliff.
10:45This has had such an impact on my life in so many ways.
10:49I've lost a lot of people in my life because of this situation.
10:55It has taken a really long time to get to where I am today.
11:01Over four years.
11:03I am not a victim.
11:05I am a survivor.
11:08But I had no idea that things would get ten times worse.
11:14Hey, bub, it's me.
11:17Just wanted to talk to you.
11:18Not one of you.
11:25Right before the attack, what I remember most was his eyes were black.
11:33I've experienced that.
11:34They go from crystal blue to just, it's almost like an out-of-body experience.
11:38It's the scariest thing I've ever seen.
11:40It's just, it's like a different person.
11:41The eyes truly are the window to the soul.
11:43And when you are in that deep, dark space, you just see, you see it in their eyes.
11:56Growing up, my mother always stressed to me, independence was a strong suit, especially for a woman.
12:03She never wanted me to depend on a man.
12:05I went to school, got my master's.
12:08I am a psychotherapist.
12:10In 2008, I really wanted to be a homeowner.
12:14I put the majority of the money down from what I had saved over the years.
12:18And I've been in this house ever since.
12:20I also really had a great group of friends.
12:24I rescued this dog, Chester, who was such a big part of my life.
12:28I would say that I had it all.
12:30The one thing that I think I lacked over the course of my life was someone that I would consider a partner.
12:37Tell me about when you first met Chris.
12:41In August of 2018, I was on a dating app and there was Chris's picture.
12:46His profile seemed interesting to me, so I swiped right.
12:49What was your first impression?
12:51I mean, he seemed amazing.
12:52He came across as intelligent.
12:54He was compassionate.
12:56He asked me a lot about me.
13:00My relationship with Chris moved incredibly fast.
13:04We got engaged December 1st of 2018.
13:08He moved into my house and we got married January of 2019.
13:15Living with Chris at first was phenomenal.
13:20Chris used to always buy me chocolate-covered pretzels as well as flowers,
13:23specifically white lilies, which were my mother's favorite flower.
13:29Chris and I barely fought.
13:31I had someone who I thought just was head over heels in love with me.
13:37So when I met Chris, I had just come back from a trip to Croatia.
13:42I wasn't feeling good.
13:43I might have gotten some sort of sickness over there.
13:45But then I got even sicker and sicker.
13:49I was getting some rashes, headaches.
13:53The hives got 10 times worse.
13:56I was tired all of the time.
13:59The doctors could not figure out what was wrong with me.
14:02I spent, honestly, a lot of my relationship with Chris in bed.
14:07But Chris catered to my every need.
14:10He would get me what I wanted to eat.
14:13I never got my own water.
14:15Chris always got me a water.
14:16You know, he would constantly tell me,
14:19I'm going to have you at your best one day.
14:21So I love you even at your worst.
14:25Things were moving super quickly.
14:27Was there a particular shift or moment
14:29when you noticed that things were changing in our relationship?
14:32After we got married, things changed sexually.
14:36Our sex life in the beginning was good.
14:39Now, I was sick.
14:41So I wouldn't say our sex life was great.
14:43It was good for me being as sick as I was.
14:47But then he wanted sex more and more and more,
14:49even if I wasn't feeling good.
14:51He also started to push boundaries.
14:54For example, after oral sex,
14:57I did not want to swallow his ejaculation.
15:01There was an incident that happened to me years prior.
15:04I was 20 years old.
15:06And in a club, I was drugged.
15:07And I was forced to perform oral sex on someone.
15:10And that person ejaculated in my mouth.
15:12Early in our relationship,
15:14I was very upfront and honest with Chris
15:16and told him that's not something that I'm open to doing.
15:19And he was okay with it.
15:21After we got married,
15:23that became something that was important to him.
15:27And he would say to me,
15:29well, if you really loved me,
15:31you would do this for me.
15:33So then I did it.
15:34And then that wasn't good enough.
15:37It was, I didn't initiate sex enough.
15:40So I would initiate and he would turn me down.
15:44December 16th, 2019,
15:47I was up in bed watching TV.
15:50Chris was passed out.
15:51And the way he fell asleep in bed with his phone
15:55was so bizarre.
15:57And I had just a nagging feeling of,
15:59hmm.
16:00And I remember my gut,
16:03something said,
16:04look in his phone.
16:10I found a ton of messages
16:13with a woman who I had no idea who she was.
16:17They were incredibly sexually explicit.
16:20And the worst part of it was,
16:21is in these messages,
16:23he was so incredibly demeaning about me.
16:26Basically saying how he's not in love with me.
16:29And how I'm a drug addict.
16:32And I'm abusive.
16:34They were just filled with all of these lies.
16:37I was horrified.
16:38And I remember thinking,
16:40this is not the man I married.
16:41Because my husband would never do that.
16:45So I wake him up.
16:46And then I just very calmly started reciting
16:48some of those messages.
16:50And his face just dropped.
16:53He said nothing to me.
16:55And then just walked into the bathroom
16:57and got into the shower.
17:00Chris is calling nonstop.
17:02I call after call after call.
17:04He explains to me how Kelly's going,
17:07going to kill herself.
17:08I get off the phone.
17:09I call Kelly.
17:10But I was not remotely suicidal.
17:13And Christina knew that.
17:14And Chris knew that.
17:15And then I hear him try to open the safe.
17:18My gun was in that safe.
17:20Luckily, I had changed the code to the safe.
17:24And I hear Chris come running down the stairs.
17:27And he's naked.
17:28And he gets up into my face.
17:30And he says,
17:31thanks so much for always having the ID channel on.
17:35Because now I'm going to make this look like you
17:38tried to murder me.
17:39So this is the room.
17:46He ran down the stairs.
17:48And he met me right about here
17:50and got really close to my face.
17:52I noticed that he had cut himself.
17:54And then he took his wrist,
17:56where most of the blood was coming from.
17:58And then he put his blood all over my face,
18:01my hair, my chest.
18:03And when he did that,
18:04the minute he stopped,
18:06I took off.
18:07Kelly walked me through
18:09what was a night of terror for her.
18:12Chris physically attacked her.
18:13He threw my head into the sheetrock wall.
18:16Into this wall.
18:17And then began creating the perfect crime scene
18:19to make it look like Kelly had destroyed her own home
18:21while trying to kill him.
18:23The picture that I had on this dresser,
18:26he lifted it over his head
18:27and he slammed it on the floor.
18:29And he said,
18:30why'd you break the picture, Kel?
18:32And I looked at him and I said,
18:34I didn't, Chris.
18:35You did.
18:36And he smirked and he laughed.
18:38And he said,
18:39see what I can do?
18:40It was surreal walking through
18:42what was once
18:43this incredibly gruesome crime scene.
18:45Chris strangled her
18:46until she was unconscious three times
18:48and held a military knife to her throat.
18:52He completely destroyed the house
18:53that Kelly had worked so hard to build.
18:56So this is the bathroom
18:57where Chris filmed himself.
18:59The question is,
19:00was more sex.
19:02I wanted you to love me
19:03and take care of me
19:05like I deserve?
19:07Right?
19:08Isn't that kind of normal?
19:11Guess not.
19:12Was he naked throughout the whole attack?
19:13Yes.
19:14And then he took off.
19:16So I just booked it.
19:18I grabbed Chester.
19:20I sent him down into the basement
19:22and I took off.
19:24We need an ambulance and cops.
19:28My neighbor's question.
19:28She just came banging on my door.
19:30Is she hurt?
19:30She's hurt very bad.
19:32As I was in their foyer,
19:34I looked out the window
19:35and I saw Chris smearing his blood
19:39over the bay window
19:40and then I saw Chris
19:42walk towards the basement
19:44because that's where I hid Chester.
19:51But I was not going to let that man kill my dog.
19:57There was no way in hell
19:58that he was going to lay a hand on that dog.
20:00That dog was everything to me.
20:02The door was halfway open like this
20:05and Chester was right there, alive.
20:09So I just slammed the basement door shut
20:12and I heard Chris screaming bloody murder.
20:16And I looked to my right.
20:18I knew the police were there
20:20and I just started screaming,
20:22please help me.
20:25The night of the incident,
20:27we transferred him to a VA hospital.
20:30Chris was treated for his self-inflicted knife wounds.
20:34They ran several different psych evals
20:35but ultimately had no conclusive diagnosis.
20:38A few days after the attack
20:39during his hospital stay,
20:40Chris actually called Kelly
20:42and left a voicemail.
20:43It's absolutely chilling
20:45and you need to hear this.
20:48Hey, bub, it's me.
20:50It's been a few days
20:51and just wanted to hear your voice
20:53and make sure you're okay
20:54and talk to you.
20:56I love you.
20:58It's so incredibly creepy.
21:00This was days afterwards
21:01and there is no remorse.
21:03I love you.
21:03Call me back as if nothing had ever happened.
21:06After he was released from the hospital,
21:08Chris was arrested
21:09and he was charged with strangulation
21:10and aggravated assault.
21:12But I was horrified to learn
21:14that because of a New Jersey law
21:15that eliminates bail for first-time offenders,
21:18Chris was able to walk out of jail
21:19the same day.
21:21Detective Lipman put it very plainly to me.
21:24If you've never been arrested,
21:25I can go steal a car right now.
21:28I'll be at,
21:28I can walk out of that police station today.
21:31So you get a free pass?
21:32Yes.
21:32So we have a potential killer walking free.
21:35Look, I have kids, okay?
21:37I have taught my kids
21:39that bad guys go to jail
21:41and that's what I spent my entire life doing.
21:43But, you know,
21:44it doesn't always work out like that.
21:46Just because I have probable cause
21:49doesn't mean you're guilty.
21:52It's my job to get all that evidence
21:54and produce it through the prosecutor's office
21:57to make that burden of proof.
22:00You know,
22:01you could do a huge,
22:02thorough,
22:03and complete investigation.
22:05You hand it on a silver platter
22:06to the powers that be
22:08and they turn around and say,
22:10no.
22:11A woman's life
22:12and his next victim
22:14and his next victim
22:14is currently in danger.
22:16Yes.
22:16Chris,
22:17please let it go.
22:19So what would it take
22:20for a domestic violence abuser
22:22to go to jail?
22:24Someone getting killed?
22:30Walk me through
22:31what you were feeling
22:32with Chris out on the streets.
22:34I felt like I wasn't safe.
22:36I had no security.
22:37So I got my dogs
22:39who are both protection trained.
22:42They really saved my life
22:43in so many different ways.
22:46Can I pet him?
22:48Absolutely.
22:49Hi, Luca.
22:49Say hi.
22:50He's beautiful.
22:52I know.
22:53So we specifically
22:54bred him for Kelly.
22:56How confident are you
22:57that this dog
22:58can protect her
22:59and keep her safe?
23:00I mean,
23:00I would bet my life on it.
23:02When you see him
23:03going,
23:04you're not going to come in.
23:07Pass it.
23:09Good boy.
23:10The actual attack
23:14was awful,
23:15but I would take
23:17the physical abuse
23:18I endured that night
23:19over the emotional abuse
23:21that I have had to deal with
23:22almost every single day
23:24since this incident.
23:27When I came back
23:29to the house,
23:30there's a phone.
23:31Whose phone is it?
23:32I found Chris's phone.
23:34And what I found
23:36was horrifying.
23:40Hundreds of pictures
23:41of me just sleeping
23:43that I have absolutely
23:46no recollection
23:47of him taking.
23:49I found a video
23:50in his phone
23:51where I am
23:52passed out
23:53and he is
23:55masturbating
23:56to me passed out.
23:58Another picture
23:59is he's kissing me
24:00while I am sleeping
24:01and he's smiling.
24:04It's the creepiest picture
24:05I've ever seen.
24:08And then I remembered.
24:12There was an instance
24:14early in the marriage
24:15where in the middle
24:17of the night
24:17I woke up
24:19and jumped out of bed
24:20because Chris
24:21was inside of me.
24:22I was like
24:24what are you doing?
24:25And he's like
24:26oh my god
24:26I thought you were
24:27I thought you were awake.
24:28I was like
24:29I was not awake.
24:31I thought that was a dream.
24:33It wasn't a dream.
24:36So then everything
24:37started lining up.
24:40How sick I've been.
24:42I think when Chris
24:43would go make my water
24:45there was this powder
24:47that I would put
24:48in my water
24:49like to give it
24:49a little bit of flavor.
24:51When I saw
24:52all this stuff
24:53in his phone
24:53it clicked
24:55in my head.
24:57Chris has been
24:58drugging me
24:58and raping me
24:59in my sleep.
25:02I mean it's disturbing.
25:04It's weak.
25:05This is a man
25:06who the only time
25:07he feels powerful
25:08is when she's comatose.
25:10Kelly has control
25:11of the home.
25:12She's the breadwinner.
25:13That can already
25:14feel emasculating.
25:16The only space
25:17in which he could
25:17demonstrate control
25:18was the bedroom.
25:20This is about
25:21sexual control
25:22and it's about
25:22the fact that
25:23he completely
25:23lost control
25:24on every level.
25:28I brought the phone
25:29to Detective Lipman.
25:31I said to Detective Lipman
25:32please don't give him
25:33back this phone.
25:34Like there's so much
25:35on it you know
25:36you need to see.
25:37And I remember
25:37saying the same thing
25:38to the prosecutor's office.
25:40Kelly had made me aware
25:41that she found
25:42videos and pictures
25:44of Chris sexually
25:46assaulting her.
25:48Kelly has no right
25:49to go into that phone
25:50so the chain of evidence
25:51was tricky.
25:52I needed search warrants.
25:54Apparently
25:55the Hanover Township PD
25:56had to return the phone
25:58to Chris
25:58until they were able
25:59to secure a search warrant.
26:01And guess what happened?
26:03By the time
26:04my search warrants
26:06were approved
26:07everything was deleted
26:08from the phone.
26:11So I went
26:11and I made the official report
26:13at the police station
26:14about him drugging me
26:16and raping me
26:16and then the police
26:18went through
26:19some drugs
26:20that they confiscated
26:21in Chris's closet.
26:23They found
26:25a medication
26:26that is used
26:27for breast cancer.
26:29The report showed
26:30two different medications.
26:31They were tamoxifen
26:33and mammothen.
26:35Both medications
26:36used to treat breast cancer.
26:38And every doctor
26:39that I spoke to
26:40said whatever Kelly
26:41experienced and described
26:43those drugs
26:44would have
26:45put an effect
26:46on her like that.
26:48That medication
26:49causes the exact
26:50symptoms
26:51that I was having.
26:54But trying to prove that
26:56beyond a reasonable doubt
26:57is extremely hard
26:59because I don't have
27:01a blood test
27:01to prove that
27:02she was given those drugs.
27:05Do you think
27:06that he was drugging her?
27:08Yes, I do.
27:09But just because
27:10I'm convinced
27:11doesn't mean
27:13that the prosecutor's office
27:14is going to be
27:16as convinced as I am.
27:25I was really upset
27:27that he wasn't going
27:28to be given charges
27:30for the sexual assault.
27:32But I knew
27:33at least
27:34he had a ton of charges
27:36from the actual attack
27:38and I was told
27:39that the strangulation
27:41charge
27:42would likely
27:43probably end him
27:44up in jail.
27:47These are the letters
27:48that Chris left me.
27:50It says
27:51Four Seasons Resort, Maui.
27:52That's where we got married.
27:53So he wrote these
27:54to you
27:54presumably on your
27:56wedding weekend,
27:56brought them home
27:57to give to you
27:58on your
27:59first and
28:00tenth anniversary?
28:01Yes.
28:02But after the attack,
28:04he and his lawyer
28:05had set up with the police
28:06for them to come
28:08to the house
28:09to get Chris's stuff.
28:11Chris popped the lock
28:13to my spare bedroom
28:14and left these two letters
28:16for me to find.
28:17To my bride,
28:18today is the happiest
28:19day of my life.
28:20I sit here in room 806
28:21thinking about you.
28:22Our love is the greatest
28:23accomplishment in my life
28:25and I can't wait
28:26to grow old with you.
28:27Always and forever,
28:28your husband Chris.
28:29Why do you think
28:30he left you these letters
28:31after the attack?
28:32I think he thought
28:34maybe this will get her
28:35to drop everything
28:36and come back to me.
28:38She'll read this.
28:39They're very sentimental.
28:41He's very thoughtful,
28:43very symbolic.
28:44That's what makes him,
28:45I think, so charming.
28:46People say to me,
28:48how did you not know?
28:50This is how I did not know.
28:51This is how I did not know
28:52I was dealing
28:53with a psychopath.
28:56Following the attack,
28:58Chris started stalking me.
28:59There was so much damage
29:02to this house
29:03that I had to live
29:04in a hotel
29:05for two and a half months.
29:07One day,
29:08Chris was sitting
29:09in the parking lot
29:10and the minute
29:11I opened my car door,
29:13Chris flipped his lights
29:15to let me know
29:16that he was there
29:17and then sped off.
29:19I eventually moved back
29:21into my house
29:23and the situation
29:24just kept getting worse
29:25and worse.
29:27I woke up one morning
29:33and I let my dogs
29:34out in the backyard
29:36and Chester beelined it
29:41and I saw he's eating something.
29:43I'm thinking,
29:44what the heck is he eating?
29:45So I run
29:46and covering my lawn
29:48are chocolate-covered pretzels,
29:53which was one of Chris's
29:54favorite treats.
29:55Chris used to always buy me
29:56chocolate-covered pretzels.
29:59The calculated mindset
30:01of this man,
30:02not only do I think
30:04Chris might have been
30:04trying to kill my dogs,
30:06but he also was sending me
30:07a message like,
30:08I can get to you.
30:11I can't tell you
30:12how many videos
30:13I have of cars
30:15slowing down
30:17in front of my house,
30:18turning around
30:19in front of my driveway.
30:20I was convinced
30:24he was going to
30:25come back
30:25and kill me.
30:27It really makes
30:28you paranoid.
30:32I was there
30:33every weekend,
30:34basically.
30:35We feared every day
30:35that he was going to
30:37come to her house.
30:40So we would do
30:41checks of her house.
30:43The patrols would
30:43be driving by her house
30:45on a constant rotation,
30:47just, you know,
30:48make a presence.
30:48I was constantly
30:51looking over my shoulder.
30:53I didn't leave my house
30:54for over a year.
30:57Please let it go.
31:00You win.
31:02At this point,
31:02no one has actually
31:03caught him in the act
31:04of stalking you
31:05or harassing you.
31:06No.
31:07I was petrified.
31:09There was nowhere
31:09I was safe.
31:12When the stalking
31:13was going on,
31:14Detective Lippman
31:15really believed me.
31:17The prosecutor's office,
31:18I'm not sure
31:20if they took me seriously.
31:25Around 5 o'clock
31:27on a Friday,
31:28as I was locking
31:30up the front door,
31:31all of a sudden,
31:33I heard, like,
31:36a little bell ring.
31:39Chris?
31:40Around 5 o'clock
31:49on a Friday,
31:50as I was locking
31:51up the front door,
31:53all of a sudden,
31:54I heard, like,
31:58a little bell ring.
31:59As I'm walking
32:01down my path
32:02to my car,
32:03I hear a truck
32:04and I look behind me
32:06and it was the police
32:08and they came
32:10to take my gun away.
32:13Kelly had been a gun owner
32:15for many years.
32:16In 2019,
32:17while at a shooting range,
32:18an instructor told her
32:19that her 20-bullet magazine
32:20was no longer legal
32:21in New Jersey
32:22and that she had to buy
32:23a new magazine
32:24that only held 10 bullets.
32:25He says,
32:27you have to get rid
32:28of this magazine
32:29and get a new one
32:30and I was like,
32:30oh, gosh, okay, absolutely.
32:32He's like, yeah,
32:32it's a felony, you know,
32:33you could go to jail.
32:34I told Chris,
32:35he said to me,
32:36don't worry,
32:37I'll take care of it.
32:38Do you think he ever
32:39took care of it?
32:40No.
32:43Chris and his lawyer
32:43went to the prosecutor's office
32:45and before a judge
32:47had me red flagged.
32:51The police came
32:52and took my gun away.
32:54Okay.
32:56Have a good evening.
32:57Have a good funeral.
32:58Take care of yourself.
32:59Yes.
33:00That was really traumatic.
33:03I felt like
33:03you just took away my safety.
33:07Chris tattled on her.
33:10He told the prosecutor's office,
33:12hey, my wife
33:13has a high-capacity magazine.
33:15She breaks the law.
33:16She's the bad one.
33:18From what I was told,
33:20I am the first
33:21domestic violence victim
33:22in the state of New Jersey
33:24to have had their gun
33:25taken away from them.
33:27So he's now using the law
33:28to get to you.
33:29And it worked.
33:30It worked completely.
33:33The prosecutor's office
33:34wanted her criminally charged
33:35for that high-capacity magazine.
33:38And I told him,
33:40you can do it.
33:40I will not.
33:43Chris's goal
33:44was to try to get me
33:45to back off
33:46so I would not
33:48want to go to trial.
33:48But I stood my ground.
33:52He was manipulating
33:53the system
33:54to show her
33:56in a bad light
33:57and make him come out
33:59like the shining knight
33:59that he alleged he is.
34:01You know,
34:02he just manipulated
34:03everybody there.
34:05He knew exactly
34:06what he was doing.
34:08This was mental warfare
34:09and it also showed
34:10that there is no stopping him
34:12and there's no limit
34:13as to the lengths
34:15that this man will go
34:15to make Kelly feel
34:16completely powerless
34:17and unsafe.
34:19Thankfully,
34:19the prosecutor's office
34:20decided not to prosecute Kelly
34:22for what would have been
34:23a felony gun charge.
34:25So looking back
34:26at the relationship,
34:27did you see any red flags?
34:29I definitely see
34:30the love bombing.
34:33He was too much
34:34too soon.
34:35On the second date,
34:36Chris told me
34:36that he loved me
34:37and I can remember
34:38when he said this,
34:40my heart dropped.
34:42There were times
34:42where I'd say to my friends,
34:43he's too nice.
34:44Chris is just too nice.
34:46And everybody would say,
34:47Kelly, you're just used
34:48to dating jerks.
34:50Like, this is what a guy
34:51is supposed to be like.
34:52And do you feel
34:52that he loved you
34:53that deeply?
34:54No.
34:57I think it was
34:57a complete facade.
34:58I think that's what
34:59he did to lure me in.
35:01As somebody who was cheated
35:02on multiple times
35:03in my marriage,
35:04I think the overriding
35:05sense and feeling
35:06is doubt
35:09and trying to figure out
35:10what part of your life
35:12and this person
35:14and everything
35:15is a lie.
35:16I see the red flags
35:18that I missed
35:20or even rationalized.
35:22He told me
35:23all of his exes
35:24were crazy.
35:26Every single one
35:28was insane.
35:29They were addicts.
35:30They were alcoholics.
35:31All of them.
35:32Why would someone
35:33lie about something
35:33that, especially
35:34your husband?
35:35Why would he lie
35:35about something like that?
35:37So Kelly starts looking
35:38at everything in hindsight
35:39and really starts analyzing
35:41what she thought she knew.
35:42She brings on
35:43a private investigator
35:44and realizes that
35:45Chris had at least
35:47three ex-wives.
35:48I said to my private
35:49investigator,
35:50I would love
35:51to speak with them.
35:52Let them know
35:53that I am not interested
35:54in dragging them
35:56into any of this mess.
35:58I simply need to know
36:00what they went through
36:02with Chris.
36:02You need to figure out
36:03if he's done this before.
36:06I think part of me
36:06wanted to know
36:07I wasn't alone
36:08and I think the other
36:09part of me
36:10wanted to know
36:12who I was dealing with.
36:14I thought that he
36:15was a first-time offender,
36:17but I was right and wrong.
36:25Tell me what you learned
36:27when you spoke
36:27to Chris's exes.
36:29They opened my eyes
36:30to what I was
36:31really dealing with.
36:33More than women's protection,
36:34Kelly didn't want to
36:35reveal too much
36:36about the ex-wives,
36:37but she did share
36:38some of the similar behavior
36:40that they experienced.
36:42I am not alone.
36:43Chris has been abusive
36:45to each and every one of them.
36:47Chris has been escalating.
36:49I think it's the worst
36:50that it's ever been with me,
36:53but he definitely has a pattern.
36:56I tried to connect
36:57with Chris's ex-wives,
36:59but as soon as I brought
37:00Chris's name up,
37:02nobody wanted to talk to me.
37:03His most recent ex-girlfriend,
37:05she showed me the proof
37:06that his Wi-Fi password
37:08is the date he assaulted me
37:09and destroyed my home.
37:11He set the date
37:12to the attack of her, huh?
37:15The Wi-Fi password
37:16is the date of the attack
37:17with an exclamation
37:17with an exclamation after it.
37:19Oh, I didn't know that.
37:21I think that he's not sorry
37:22that he did anything.
37:24Every time he enters
37:25that password,
37:26he's loving what he did
37:28because he's reliving that.
37:29It's like a trophy to him.
37:31From what I can tell,
37:32the prosecutor's office
37:33didn't even use any information
37:34about Chris's ex-wife
37:36in building the case against him.
37:38On paper,
37:39Chris was being treated
37:40as a first-time offender.
37:42And unfortunately,
37:43it's very rare
37:44for domestic violence cases
37:46like that to go to trial.
37:47So the prosecution
37:48offered him a plea deal
37:49several times
37:50as they approached
37:51the trial date.
37:54Anytime the plea deal
37:56was offered to him,
37:57he was turning it down
37:59and turning it down.
38:00For a while,
38:01the prosecutor's office,
38:03they were trying to get me
38:06to drop the aggravated assault
38:08by strangulation.
38:09But I was ready to testify
38:11as to what Chris did to me.
38:13I wanted to go to trial.
38:16With every single wife,
38:17he's becoming more calculated
38:19and more strategic.
38:20He's only learning
38:21with each woman.
38:23And I think it's getting worse
38:25and I'm afraid
38:26that there's going to come
38:27a day where a woman
38:29is going to die
38:30at his hands.
38:32And if I didn't go forward
38:33with the charges,
38:35I feel like I'd be at fault
38:37for what would happen
38:38to the next woman.
38:39When I spoke to all the wives,
38:41I said that I was going to
38:42hold him accountable
38:43for all of us.
38:46At this point,
38:46it's been almost three years
38:48since the attack.
38:49Talk to me about going to trial.
38:51We have all this evidence
38:53against him.
38:53This is a man
38:55who assaulted me
38:56and did $63,000 worth
38:59of damage to my home.
39:00you.
39:02I'm ready for trial.
39:03I am ready for trial.
39:05But then,
39:06at the 11th hour,
39:08he decided
39:10to take the plea deal
39:12so there wouldn't be a trial.
39:14And what was Chris sentenced to
39:15with the plea deal?
39:17The final plea deal,
39:19Chris got three years probation.
39:21I had to run all my charges
39:27through the Morris County
39:28Prosecutor's Office
39:29and it was their determination
39:31not to put him into jail.
39:34It's so frustrating.
39:36I feel bad that she doesn't
39:38really get closure.
39:40You know,
39:40she feels victimized
39:42all over again
39:43by the justice system.
39:45Three years probation,
39:47no jail time,
39:48it's sickening.
39:50It makes you wonder
39:51how bad does it really have to get
39:53for the system
39:54to actually stand up
39:56for a man or a woman
39:58or anybody in this situation.
40:00I think not only was it
40:01a slap in my face,
40:03but I think it was an injustice
40:04to everyone in this community.
40:06One day,
40:07he is going to kill somebody.
40:09Kelly was building her life
40:14and then someone came in
40:15who she thought
40:16was going to be
40:17the final puzzle piece
40:18and he destroyed it.
40:20When you find out
40:21that you've been betrayed
40:22and that your reality
40:23is not necessarily
40:24your reality,
40:26you may not ever
40:26give your heart to somebody
40:28because it's been shattered
40:29in a million pieces.
40:31But eventually,
40:32you emerge from the triage state
40:33and you're stronger
40:34as a result.
40:36Kelly's going to tell this story
40:37and help as many people
40:39as she can.
40:40She's an advocate
40:41and I believe that her work
40:42is just beginning.
40:44I think I'll always be at risk,
40:47but I'm no longer
40:48ever going to be silent.
40:52The best thing
40:53that came out of my situation
40:56with Chris is my dogs.
40:59Chris took away my freedom
41:00and Stella and Luca
41:01gave it back to me.
41:02I love that.
41:03I just feel like
41:05I'm unstoppable.
41:07This season on Toxic.
41:17Are there patterns
41:18in toxic relationships
41:19that you see over
41:20and over again?
41:21There are patterns.
41:22This ex-girlfriend of mine
41:23has it out for this woman
41:25because she f***ing hates
41:26the fact that
41:27I'm not with her anymore.
41:28Gaslighting,
41:29love bombing,
41:30isolation,
41:30and bold-paced lies.
41:32I was taking medication.
41:33It may have influenced me
41:35to do something.
41:36Is this control?
41:37Is this coercion?
41:38Is this manipulation?
41:39My girlfriend,
41:39I think overdosed.
41:40I'm trying to resensitate her
41:41right now.
41:42I want to find the truth.
41:44Hi, how are you?
41:45He needs to be exposed.
41:47You wanted to believe him.
41:49I wanted to put
41:50my family back together.
41:51He's a doctor.
41:52He couldn't be
41:53poisoning my daughter.
41:54Can he?
41:55I could ask you
41:56some questions.
41:56Absolutely not, no.
41:57Anthony.
42:00Oh my God.
42:01To this day,
42:02I still can't get justice.
42:03That is burned
42:05in my brain forever.
42:06Every fiber in your being
42:07was like,
42:08this is not an accident.
42:09I knew I was going to prove
42:11that he murdered my sister.