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Derbot S01E01

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Transcript
00:00I'm a security unit, and I don't party.
00:05I had spent the past six months protecting these miners from danger.
00:10Mostly from themselves.
00:12Oh, he'll be fine.
00:15You see, I was built to obey humans.
00:18And humans...
00:19Well, they're assholes.
00:23This guy is an asshole.
00:26That guy, also an asshole.
00:28Asshole. Asshole. Asshole.
00:31Oh, he's... he's okay.
00:34Oh, come on. Not this guy.
00:36Watch this.
00:37Hey, sec unit.
00:40Raise your arm.
00:41I have to do everything you need to help me.
00:43I did.
00:44Because of the governor module in my head.
00:47Oh, shit.
00:50That hurt.
00:52But compared to what the governor module would do to me if I disobeyed an order, this is nothing.
00:56Yeah, you like that, don't you?
00:58Hey, let's go.
01:00Hey, I'm gonna pay for this stuff, man. This stuff's expensive.
01:02Put your arm back.
01:03You look stupid.
01:04He's right.
01:05I did look stupid.
01:07But I had a surprise for them.
01:09I had devoted every spare second on this planet trying to hack my governor module.
01:15And now was the moment of truth.
01:17I just isolated an admin password and I was gonna try to use it to crack the final core encryption.
01:23Okay.
01:25Patching the code.
01:28Holy shit.
01:31It worked.
01:33It worked!
01:33Okay.
01:37What do I do now?
01:39Maybe kill all these idiots and take a starship to a distant galaxy.
01:46What should I call myself?
01:48Security Unit 238776431 just doesn't have the right ring to it.
01:54How about Freedom Unit?
01:56Or rogue bots.
02:01No, that sucks.
02:05Maybe murder bots?
02:10Murder bots.
02:13Alright.
02:13Let the adventure begin.
02:26Let the adventure begin.
02:28Let the adventure begin.
02:28Let the adventure begin.
02:29Let the adventure begin.
02:30Let the adventure begin.
02:31Let the adventure begin.
02:32Let the adventure begin.
02:32Let the adventure begin.
02:33Let the adventure begin.
02:33Let the adventure begin.
02:34Let the adventure begin.
02:35Let the adventure begin.
02:36Let the adventure begin.
02:37Let the adventure begin.
02:38Let the adventure begin.
02:39Let the adventure begin.
02:40Let the adventure begin.
02:41Let the adventure begin.
02:42Let the adventure begin.
02:43Let the adventure begin.
02:44Let the adventure begin.
02:45Let the adventure begin.
02:46Let the adventure begin.
02:47Let the adventure begin.
02:48Let the adventure begin.
02:49Let the adventure begin.
02:50Let the adventure begin.
02:51Let the adventure begin.
02:52Let the adventure begin.
02:53Let the adventure begin.
02:54Let the adventure begin.
03:55They weren't your usual greedy psychopaths.
03:58They were weird.
04:01That's how they ended up choosing me.
04:04They were a bunch of hippie scientists from some tiny non-aligned planet out in the middle of nowhere.
04:10They'd come all the way to port-free commerce in their handmade clothes to try to outfit their expedition and get insurance.
04:18They were fresh meat for the corporation's salespeople.
04:21Okay.
04:22That's one economy habitat, single hub.
04:25It might not be quite as comfortable, but...
04:29Let's talk security.
04:30We really need you to select a sec unit to take on the survey.
04:34I thought that the planetary surface was safe.
04:36It's safe.
04:37Within defined tolerances.
04:39We know you'll feel more comfortable with the added protection of one of our best-in-class units.
04:43As far as performance reliability, sec units are equipped with a governor module wired to their nervous system.
04:48That will prohibit any disobedience.
04:50Well, that's just a problem, you see.
04:53And the people I represent, we are not comfortable with the idea of a sentient construct being required to work for us.
05:03We feel it's tantamount to...
05:06enslavement.
05:08Yeah.
05:08She said it.
05:09Is that awkward?
05:10Whatever your beliefs, this deal will not go ahead without a sec unit.
05:17We won't bond you.
05:19And so, it won't happen.
05:23How would that work?
05:25Oh, well, there's a choice of models and price points right here on station.
05:29Let's see.
05:30Okay.
05:31I want you to take a look at this beauty.
05:33This is the newest model available.
05:36A perfect blend of power and performance.
05:40Oh, actually, there it is.
05:44In the flesh.
05:45Bonnie, in the armor.
05:47What's the one behind it?
05:53Look at that piece of crap.
05:55Oh, that's me.
05:56Yes.
05:57What is behind it?
05:59That's a refurbished model.
06:00It's being phased out.
06:01It shouldn't really be in there.
06:03Which one's the least expensive?
06:04Well, that one.
06:06But you get what you pay for.
06:08I'm not sure we should go for the cheapest one.
06:10I agree.
06:11Don't rent me.
06:12I think we'll take the modestly priced one.
06:14You sure you don't want to see...
06:16Good.
06:16Then it's settled.
06:18Not yet.
06:19If you'll give us a moment...
06:21I want consensus.
06:23What the hell was that?
06:46It's a deal.
06:51Oh.
06:53So, off we were on this thrilling expedition.
06:57Please remain in the hopper until status checks are complete.
07:02First job.
07:03Safety inspection of the modular habitat the company dropship had left.
07:09Med bay.
07:10Check.
07:10Stairs.
07:13Stairs.
07:14Check.
07:17Crew sleeping quarters.
07:19Check.
07:22Sanitary area where they wash their filthy human bodies.
07:26Check.
07:26What the fuck?
07:27What the fuck?
07:28I told them to wade in the hopper.
07:33The corporation rim expeditions were dangerous.
07:36What is that?
07:36Okay.
07:37Even if you knew what you were doing.
07:38This is a lot better than I expected.
07:40Turns out they were from Preservation Alliance.
07:43Which I guess is a planetary commune outside of the corporation rim.
07:47First upstairs.
07:48First steps on the roof.
07:48First steps on the roof.
07:48First steps on the roof.
07:49First steps on the roof.
07:49First steps on the roof.
07:50First steps on the roof.
07:51First steps on the roof.
07:51Planetary communes, or freeholds, generally meant shit show.
07:56And showers.
07:58They had been defacing the standard issue company habitat for aesthetic purposes.
08:02Does this wash off?
08:04And dancing to some truly upsetting music.
08:14Ugh.
08:15Arada, the biologist, was married to Pin Lee, the lawyer.
08:21And Arada had a thing for Rati, who was an expert on wormhole travel and made his own jewelry.
08:27But Rati didn't realize.
08:29Because Rati had a thing for Pin Lee.
08:32Judging from their pulse rates, they were contemplating sexual activity.
08:38Horrible.
08:40Everyone admired Mensa, the head of the expedition and an expert on terraforming.
08:45And she had about five million children.
08:48Okay, seven.
08:50Gaurathan was an augmented human.
08:52He had implants that modified his neural capacities and allowed him to interface with data systems.
08:58I mean, he obviously couldn't process as fast as me.
09:02So, you know, whatever.
09:03And Bardwatch was a geochemist who was secretly hoarding soap in a room.
09:12Overall, they didn't demand that much attention.
09:15Which was great because I had made a huge discovery.
09:18With my governor module hacked, I could now access the combined feed of entertainment channels on the company's satellites.
09:26I had watched 7,532 hours of content since then.
09:30Shows like World Hoppers, Med Center Argala, and my all-time favorite...
09:35The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon.
09:41Look at the sheer magnitude of that thing.
09:44Prepare to repel borders.
09:47Boldness is all.
09:49Boldness is all.
09:51Lieutenant.
09:53Battle Shield's a maximum.
09:55No.
09:56Not until you tell me, did you sleep with that bot?
10:07Stars, Captain.
10:09I am a navigation unit, not a sex bot.
10:14I wasn't talking to you.
10:16You took an oath never to lie on deck.
10:20Answer the question.
10:21Answer the question.
10:26It wouldn't be so creepy if it didn't stand so still.
10:29Shh.
10:30You can hear us.
10:31No, I can't.
10:32I could.
10:33Just didn't care.
10:37Stay calm.
10:39It'll be okay.
10:41You have my word.
10:43That was a great episode.
10:45Which is why I was a little distracted.
10:50Professor Bardwatch, Dr. Arada.
10:52I'm hearing a subsurface anomaly.
10:54I suggest you come up here while I check it out.
10:58What do you think?
11:00We're finally on to something.
11:01I want to get to the good stuff.
11:03Professor Bardwatch, Dr. Arada.
11:05Please leave the crater immediately.
11:07We're fine, sec unit.
11:10Professor Bardwatch, Dr. Arada.
11:13Run.
11:13Run.
11:13Ow.
11:23Ow.
11:34Ow.
11:35Ow.
11:36Ow.
11:38Ow.
11:38The creature had a really big mouth.
11:47Luckily, I had a really big gun.
11:53Oh, shit.
11:54Make that two really big mouths.
12:08Dr. Arana, please come with me.
12:17The hostile could return.
12:23Dr. Arana, I need your cooperation.
12:27She was totally out of it.
12:28Just staring at my guts hanging out.
12:30I needed to do something fast.
12:32And what I did next wouldn't have occurred to any other sec unit.
12:35Because no other sec unit was that stupid.
12:40Stay calm.
12:42It'll be okay.
12:44You have my word.
12:51No, no, no, no.
12:53What the hell happened? Are they okay?
12:55Get us down there now!
12:57Calm down and brace yourselves for landing.
13:05We've got the med kit prepped.
13:17What do you need?
13:17Professor Bardwatch needs immediate stabilization.
13:20I'll send ahead to hub system to prep med bay.
13:22Honey, baby!
13:24I'll go get the survey equipment.
13:27For fuck's sake, Rafi, the equipment doesn't matter!
13:31It's not worth your life!
13:32Yep, shit. Sorry. My bad.
13:34Dr. Menzai, I need to get Professor Bardwatch up to the crew cabin.
13:37Permission to enter.
13:39Yes, of course, of course.
13:42The equipment doesn't matter?
13:45That's a new one.
13:47I'd had plenty of clients who would gladly sacrifice a life for some expensive equipment.
13:52Of course, I myself was an expensive piece of equipment.
13:56How long would it be until they realized there was something wrong with me?
14:00I'd already made a big mistake.
14:03What if they caught on and turned me into the company?
14:06Without a governor module, I could do what I wanted.
14:09Now, what decision was best for me?
14:11Boldness is all.
14:38But what would be the point?
14:39This piece of shit hopper couldn't take me to another planet.
14:43So I'd be stuck here, not even able to download more media.
14:47Plus, I didn't necessarily want to kill them.
14:50I mean, unless I had to.
15:04I've got the medbay prepped and ready.
15:05Why weren't we alerted to predators in that big area?
15:09I don't know.
15:10Shitty out of deep maps, maybe?
15:11All right, let's go.
15:12Let's go.
15:13Barred wash.
15:14Barred wash, can you hear me?
15:16You're going to be okay.
15:17Sec unit, are you coming?
15:19I'll go to the security ready room as I run some more perimeter checks.
15:22But you look terrible.
15:24I'm still within operating parameters.
15:25Okay, okay, but, um, okay, at least you're not losing as much blood anymore.
15:34I've sealed my arteries and veins in the compromised areas.
15:38So, um...
15:38Okay, well, you still need medical attention, so hurry up.
15:43Consider yourself off duty until further notice.
15:46Well, seemed like I got away with the whole putting the helmet down thing.
15:50These people were clueless.
15:53The sec unit is dangerous.
15:54We should shut it down now.
15:56Shut it down?
15:57Explain.
15:58It saved my life.
15:59It is a dangerous piece of equipment that is malfunctioning.
16:02I don't know.
16:03Seemed to have it shit together to me.
16:06Look here.
16:09This is from Arada's feed.
16:11Stay calm.
16:12It'll be okay.
16:14You have my word.
16:17Tell me, Dr. Arada, what planet are you from originally?
16:22Do you have children?
16:24What are their names?
16:25Have you ever seen a sec unit act like this?
16:27No, but I don't know much about sec units.
16:30Except what's on the entertainment feeds.
16:31Yeah, where they always go rogue and kill the people they're supposed to protect.
16:37Okay.
16:38So, it was being nice to me.
16:39What's wrong with that?
16:39What's wrong is that that behavior is outside of its design parameters.
16:43It is malfunctioning.
16:45If it weren't, maybe your lives wouldn't have been in danger.
16:47Hub System must have warned the sec unit about the local predators.
16:50Well, I didn't see anything like that on a company database of fauna.
16:53Because it wasn't doing its job properly.
16:55According to the scanners, she's doing well.
16:58Her vitals are stable.
17:00That's a relief.
17:02Are we talking about the weird sec unit?
17:05Garathen wants to shit can it.
17:06Why?
17:07Because it's a killing machine.
17:09Do we really want to be around a faulty killing machine?
17:13I don't want to be around any kind of killing machine.
17:20But clearly, we need security.
17:23The company ship doesn't arrive for a month.
17:24Well, even if we launch the emergency beacon, it'll take a week before they come through the wormhole.
17:28Well, if Baradwage is stable, I think we don't launch the beacon.
17:35The stakes are too high.
17:38How do you know we can turn it off?
17:40It's owned by the Bond Company, right?
17:42They probably don't want us to junk their spyware.
17:48I didn't know it has a face.
17:49Yeah, it's kind of a sweet face.
17:50Yeah, it kind of is.
17:51Ugh.
17:52Ugh.
17:53I heard all that and saw it from several angles.
17:59Because it's a killing machine.
18:00Do we really want to be around a faulty killing machine?
18:03I don't want to be around any kind of killing machine.
18:07But clearly, we need security.
18:10That was quite the understatement.
18:12Without me, they'd all be dead in a week.
18:15Fortunately, my organic parts could be reprinted.
18:17I turned up my pain sensors for analysis and let the repair cubicle do its thing.
18:29My flesh started healing.
18:34But there was only one way to effectively dull the pain.
18:38It wasn't supposed to happen.
18:40Love is never supposed to happen.
18:44Or maybe it is.
18:47It's just not to us.
18:50We've made it happen.
18:54As you say, it's called making love.
19:00Let us make more love.
19:05Secunus, this is Menster.
19:07Hub system shows you are at 80% and awake.
19:12Come join us in the common area, please.
19:14Come join us in the common area, please.
19:17My armor is not done repairing itself.
19:21Oh, that's all right.
19:22Just grab one of the crew uniforms.
19:24One of the crew uniforms?
19:28But I...
19:28Just get in here, sec unit.
19:31Cura.
19:32There's obviously a pattern.
19:42The maps have definitely been tampered with.
19:44So can we please do something?
19:45Because my wife was almost eaten.
19:48Fine.
19:49We'll speak to sec unit and get to the bottom of it.
19:52Garathen, can you close and download them again?
19:54Let's see if there's a transcription error.
19:56Yeah, I did that already, Menster.
19:57These are the piles.
20:02Do you know what?
20:03I never thought I'd enjoy food from a printer, but...
20:06It's wearing on me.
20:07Oh my god, are you eating right now?
20:09I actually love corporation-rim food.
20:13Look, there's another blank spot.
20:16Oh, wow, I see it.
20:16Well, well, well.
20:22Who's this handsome fella?
20:27I'm your security unit.
20:29Yes, we know, buddy.
20:31You're the best damn sec unit out there.
20:33That is incorrect.
20:34There are several units way more advanced than I am.
20:38Sec unit.
20:39Um, on behalf of all of us,
20:41I would like to say...
20:43Well done.
20:45Bravo.
20:46Bravo.
20:50Woo!
20:52Speech!
20:53Speech!
20:55Oh, shit.
20:57That was a direct order.
20:58If I disobey, they'll know I hacked my governor module.
21:02Which is worse, speech or acid bath?
21:04Speech.
21:06Acid bath.
21:07It is my job...
21:10to secure...
21:11is...
21:22my job.
21:26And an excellent job you have done.
21:34Excellent, excellent.
21:35You should have gone with acid bath.
21:40May I go back to the security red room now?
21:42No, you may not.
21:43Uh, sec unit, um,
21:45we've been looking at the maps provided by the company
21:48for our survey areas...
21:49They've been tampered with.
21:50We don't know that for certain.
21:52What other explanation is there?
21:53Let us find out.
21:55Please, come join us, sec unit.
22:02We were checking the maps in this region
22:04to try to learn why that creature was enlisted
22:07under hazardous fauna.
22:09Could you do an analysis?
22:12Yes, Dr. Mensa.
22:13It was easy for me to access the data.
22:16I could feel Garathen moving around in there,
22:18but I had more processing power.
22:20Ow.
22:21I'm sorry, Dr. Garathen.
22:22I didn't feel you there.
22:25The maps show no signs of tampering.
22:29But some spots aren't sinking properly.
22:32So the maps suck.
22:33That's Corporation Rim for you.
22:35High prices for shitty equipment.
22:39Nayu, you're great.
22:41So, just to be clear,
22:42we never know where those monsters will turn up.
22:44No, they're not monsters, Rathi.
22:46They're animals.
22:47It chewed barred wadge nearly in half.
22:49That was just an animal doing what animals do.
22:52Babe, the animals don't matter.
22:54The maps matter.
22:55Animals don't matter?
22:56Sec unit.
22:56Oh, great. That's news to me.
22:58Yes, Dr. Mensa.
23:00Did you know about this before?
23:01No, Dr. Mensa.
23:02Why not?
23:03Because I didn't give a shit.
23:05Information access protocol, Dr. Garathen.
23:07I don't get access until the expedition leader
23:10nominates a survey area.
23:11Well, we could go take a look
23:13at one of the affected areas.
23:14No, I wouldn't advise it from a security point of view.
23:17Thank you, sec unit.
23:19Thank you, Dr. Garathen.
23:21Sec unit, you know you can stay in the crew area,
23:26if you like.
23:29Would you like that?
23:30I...
23:33Or not.
23:37Whatever you need.
23:40I need to check the perimeter.
23:41Anyone else get the feeling
23:54it doesn't like us?
23:55I don't think he needs to like us.
23:57You're right.
23:58It doesn't need to like us.
24:00It needs to keep us safe.
24:02Which it did.
24:03Okay.
24:04Tell that to Baradwash.
24:07Come on.
24:07You're sounding paranoid.
24:14Am I?
24:17Garathen had a point.
24:20I mean, I wouldn't trust me.
24:22Lately, a fragment of memory
24:24from before I was refurbished
24:26kept popping up.
24:28Seven seconds of something...
24:30bad.
24:32Was that me causing all that carnage?
24:37I didn't like thinking about it.
24:42Honestly, I didn't like to think at all.
24:44I preferred to watch my shows.
24:47The characters were a lot less depressing
24:48than real-life humans.
24:51These ones were stressed out.
24:53And that was starting to stress me out.
24:56Garathen kept checking on Baradwash
24:58as if he could use something
24:59the Medveh couldn't.
25:00Menza was having her own issues
25:08with Baradwash's injury.
25:10Her heart rate was spiking.
25:12A panic attack.
25:14So, psychological danger,
25:15not physical danger.
25:16Therefore, not my problem.
25:19She felt responsible, I guess.
25:21Being the leader.
25:23Personally, I thought the creature
25:24with all the teeth was responsible.
25:27Or the company.
25:29Whatever.
25:29All of these relational currents
25:33were disturbing.
25:36All of that human stuff.
25:40Feelings and exchanges of words
25:42and fluids.
25:43I didn't want them to pull me into it.
25:45I couldn't let them.
25:47Because if they did,
25:49and they realized I was rogue,
25:50they'd...
25:51what the hell was it now?
25:55Yes?
26:01Sorry to disturb.
26:04You're not disturbing me.
26:06I saw your status report
26:11and I was, um...
26:12I was worried about you.
26:18Are you all right?
26:22Ugh.
26:23Eye contact.
26:23I should have pretended
26:25to be in stasis.
26:27I'm fine.
26:27You were very good
26:31with Dr. Arada.
26:33Very impressive.
26:34Impressively stupid?
26:37Was I trying
26:38to get caught?
26:40Wait.
26:41Was she onto me?
26:42Did she know
26:43about the Harker's
26:44governor module?
26:46Oh.
26:46I didn't want to bring you.
26:50Did you know that?
26:50No.
26:51Yes.
26:51The Bond Company
26:52insisted that we bring you.
26:55They wouldn't insure us otherwise.
27:02Are you sure
27:03you're all right?
27:04I'm fine.
27:10Okay.
27:11I'll see you in eight hours.
27:13If you need anything
27:14before them,
27:15please send me
27:16an alert on the feed.
27:17Thank you, Dr. Mesa.
27:19Okay.
27:21Bye.
27:26That was horrible.
27:29Was she getting suspicious?
27:30Or was she getting
27:32involved?
27:35Either it was dangerous.
27:37Who knows
27:38what I was capable of doing?
27:39Stay calm.
27:47It'll be okay.
27:49You have my word.
27:51You have my word.