Why do so many of the world's best goalscorers unravel in the Premier League?
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00:00Much to the chagrin, excellent word, of fans of other divisions, the question, but can he do it
00:09in the Premier League, remains a pertinent one. While some of the game's greatest names have
00:13arrived in the division and thrived, I'm thinking like, Makaleli, Zlatan, and I did have another
00:19one, Ivan Campo, he'll do, plenty of the giants of world football have had an absolute nightmare
00:25here. And of course, in no position is that more costly or indeed more funny than up front.
00:31I'm Adam Cleary, this is 442, and these are 10 amazing strikers who completely flopped in the
00:37Premier League. Number 10, Jared Borghetti, Bolton. For a player whose name sounds like a car, Jared
00:43Borghetti was the proverbial Rolls Royce of a footballer. He pitched up at Bolton in the
00:47twilight of a career that had made him a bigger Mexican institution than those enormous hats you
00:52get with the nice little lace patterns on them. He had scored absolutely loads of goals in his
00:57home country for Santos Laguna and became one of the most feared strikers in all of South America.
01:02However, under Sam Allardyce, he managed just two goals in 19 Premier League games, one against
01:08Man City and the other against Charlton. He was a lot better in the Cups, yes, but that's not what
01:12this list is about, is it? Rules are rules. Number 9, Roberto Saldado, Tottenham. Now, I'm sorry,
01:18but I'm not having any comments here for referring to Saldado as a great striker. The lad had just
01:23bagged 30 goals in 46 appearances the previous season at Valencia and was genuinely being talked
01:30about as one of the hottest commodities in Europe. Now, you might not believe that, I might not even
01:34believe that, but it did happen. I was there, people were saying it. And as well, in his defence,
01:39Spurs were a little bit all over the place when he arrived, having just splurged all the Gareth Bale money
01:44on no less than seven, count them seven, highly rated new players. Still though, seven Premier
01:50League goals in 52 games is, well, crap. Number 8, Diego Forlan, Manchester United.
01:57It tells you absolutely everything about what a footballing monster truck Mourinho's Chelsea were
02:02that Man United had both Van Nistelrooy and Forlan on their books for those first two Premier
02:06League wins and could not get anywhere near them. Unlike his Dutch teammate though, the Uruguayans'
02:12time in the Premier League was a famous damp squib. 17 goals in 98 appearances, the first
02:17not coming until his 34th game, did little to suggest that he would go on to, and let
02:22me just double check my notes here, ah yes, become one of the most feared goal scorers in
02:27all of Europe. 155 goals in just seven years in La Liga, that is not the Diego Forlan you
02:35saw in the Premier League. Regardless though, Man United fans still seem to love him on account
02:39of his two very memorable strikes against Liverpool. Proof once more that banter remains undefeated
02:44as the true measure of footballing success.
02:47This is great banter, it really is.
02:51Number 7, Sergei Rebrov, Tottenham. The £11 million Ukrainian, then 25, had been one
02:56half of what was arguably Europe's most devastating strike partnership. Alongside Andrei Shevchenko
03:01and ho ho ho, more on him later, the duo had scored almost 200 goals between them in five
03:08seasons at Dynamo Kiev. Recruited to become the prolific goal scorer that Spurs lacked,
03:12Rebrov ultimately struggled to perform at anywhere near the same level and was even overlooked
03:17for the 2002 League Cup Final. Now don't get me wrong, there's no shame to getting benched
03:21behind Teddy Sheringham and Les Ferdinand, they're two great players, but they had a combined
03:25age at the time of 70. But you know, score 10 goals in two seasons and that's what you're
03:31going to get.
03:32Number 6, Gonzalo Higuain, Chelsea. Genuinely a sporting anomaly how so many strikers can
03:37bang in goals for fun in almost any other league in the world and then get to England and look
03:42like some beige middle management type who's won a play on the pitch prize in a company raffle.
03:47Gonzalo Higuain, par exemple, was almost one goal every two games at Real Madrid and Juventus,
03:54one goal every game and a half at Napoli and then got to Chelsea and looked about as much
03:59use as tits on a kipper.
04:00Five goals, the sum total of his loan spell in London where afterwards he defended his
04:04record by pointing out the club did win the Europa League while he was there. And again
04:08just let me check my notes here, ah yes he played a grand total of 24 minutes in that
04:13competition and did not even get off the bench in the final. Worth a try.
04:18Number 5, Claudio Pizarro, Chelsea. Yeah I'll just, I'll level with you now, the rest of
04:22this list is mostly Chelsea. The Peruvian All-Star hit 100 goals for Bayern Munich to establish
04:28a reputation as one of Germany and Europe's top marksmen and his arrival at Chelsea on
04:32a free transfer no less looked like a genius piece of business. He started by missing a
04:37penalty in the Community Shield shootout against Manchester United on his debut and things did
04:42not improve much thereafter. Pizarro notched just two goals in 21 matches before departing
04:49after one season. A stint so short in fact that we as a fanbase didn't ever quite decide if it was
04:55Pizarro or Pizzaro. You'd think Pizz as there's only one Z so it's not like pizza with two.
05:03Right? Pizarro? Pizzaro? Pitharo? What was I talking about?
05:09Number 4, Radamel Falcao, Manchester United. Easily, without question, one of the most complete
05:15centre forwards in world football while at both Porto and Atletico Madrid, Falcao made cheese
05:21strings out of his anterior cruciament ligaments at Monaco but his 6 million loan to Man United
05:26still felt like really good business. Nope, just four goals all season for Louis van Gaal's men and
05:33that was the end of his time in England. Except wait, no it wasn't because number 4 again,
05:38Radamel Falcao, Chelsea. Never a team you can accuse of letting their rivals hog the money-wasting
05:44spotlight, Chelsea seemingly took it as a personal challenge to somehow outfarce this farce and
05:51brought him in the following season. One goal in all competitions. Round of applause for everyone
05:56involved, please. Number 3, Hernan Crespo. You guessed it, Chelsea. Now yes, okay, a glance at
06:02Crespo's goals per game record in the Premier League suggests that maybe the flop tag is somewhat harsh in
06:07this case, he did net 20 times in 49 games. But according to the three Chelsea fans I know and
06:13I swear have asked, the former Palmer, Lazio and Inter sharpshooter just never really convinced at
06:19Stamford Bridge. Ten goals in both seasons just felt like a massive letdown given how good he clearly
06:24was and could have been and neither Ranieri nor Mourinho ever quite managed to extract a proper tune out of
06:30him. Number 2, Fernando Morientes, Chelsea. Oh no, it's Liverpool. Oh, do you know what,
06:34this one broke my heart. Liverpool appeared to have snared one of the deals of the century when
06:39they got Morientes, still only 28, for 6.3 million. He wasn't getting minutes at Madrid but being behind
06:45Ronaldo, Raul and Michael Owen in the pecking order hardly made that a red flag. But not only was it a
06:51red flag, it was a Reds flag. Because they're the Reds. That joke does sort of work. The three-time
06:58Champions League winner showed flashes of his talent at Anfield but ultimately found neither
07:02form nor fitness. A meagre 12 goals in 60 appearances followed and the Reds loaned him
07:08back out to Valencia after just 18 months. Anyway, here's a pitch for any HBO types watching,
07:12get a biopic in the works and have Pedro Pascal play him. Look at them side by sides. You can see
07:17it, can't you? Number 1, Andrei Shevchenko, Chelsea. For a while, Shevchenko was basically the Michael
07:24Jordan of football. But at Chelsea though, he was the Michael Jordan of expensive footballing
07:30misadventure. A then British record fee of 30.8 million in 2006 yielded a meagre nine Premier
07:37League goals in his three years at the club. The problem was he was less a shrewd bit of
07:42transfer business and more... how can I put this without winding up on some sort of hit list?
07:47A gift. A lovely, generous goal-scoring gift from Roman Abramovich to Jose Mourinho despite Chelsea
07:56having no issue scoring goals and them just coming off the back of consecutive Premier League title
08:03wins. If you think about it, it's sort of like buying somebody a really nice expensive beard trimmer
08:08for Christmas after they've already accidentally cut their own head off with their Gillette Mach 3.
08:12So it like, it fits their interests. Yes, just, just not their circumstances.
08:17And that's it. That's the video. Thank you so very much for watching and making it all the way
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08:34Until next time though, thank you once again for watching. I do hope you enjoyed yourself
08:38and I'll see you soon. Goodbye.