ES S03 E05 Ce quelque chose d'Idaho en nous - gay theme series - video Dailymotion

The Gaymer

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Transcript

00:00Life's a short one, let me tell ya

00:13Blink twice and it's gone

00:15Fitting in the cards they dealt ya

00:22You should draw your own

00:26Give me something to believe in

00:32Only in my dream

00:35You take my hand, I'll take the wheel

00:41I'm going to try on and on to the clearest skies we've seen

00:47So put me on that highway

00:52At least till I can see

00:55Cause some can say that that's so disgusting

01:01I'd rather watch it rise on you and breathe

01:07Are we out of control yet?

01:15Oh this is definitely out of control

01:17I just feel like we spend so much time trying to keep it together

01:23You know?

01:25Keeping it together is not what life's about

01:26I mean it's part of what life's about

01:29Otherwise you don't live for very long

01:30That's kind of out of your control isn't it?

01:33I'm just saying

01:34I think we should live like a giant arsenic lobster

01:37Who could fall on our heads at any moment

01:39Alright we're kind of far from the coast

01:40I'm referencing Lorca

01:42I know and you're always quoting some of that gay person

01:45Are Lorca saying about New York City?

01:48I think he said that New York was the world's greatest lie

01:53That's true

01:55Lorca wound up dead in a shallow grave at 30, right?

01:59Well he was a casualty of the civil war

02:01But that's besides the point

02:03Because right now there are two queers

02:06Talking about him here in the old west

02:08After fucking in the bathroom at Mount Rushmore

02:12Don't talk about it

02:13It's a good story

02:15Yeah but I've got about enough reputation already

02:18Oh so you don't want me to put it in a little note to your mom?

02:21No she'll put it in the fucking Christmas card

02:23Why is she so obsessed with having a gay son?

02:27I don't know I think she likes the idea of there being all this like gay drama around us all the time

02:32Well there is a little gay drama

02:33Some

02:35But it's not like we're a spectator sport

02:38No

02:39And if we were we all know who she'd be on

02:42Yeah yours

02:43Mine?

02:44Are you kidding she's obsessed with you

02:46She criticizes me all the time

02:47That's the only way she knows how to show love

02:49Pretty sure she shows love by buying a luxury vehicle

02:52That wasn't for me

02:53What?

02:55Serious?

02:56Don't you remember how the night before you wouldn't shut up

02:58About your Australian friend going on their walkabout across the country

03:01And how formative and literary that must have been for them

03:04Yeah

03:04You were talking about riding the rails

03:07Yeah before I got too old

03:09You were discussing becoming an actual hobo

03:11And the next day my mother buys a luxury vehicle

03:13And you see no coincidence

03:15Yeah

03:16I think she was just trying to protect you from me

03:20That's ridiculous

03:21You are the baby

03:24Hillary's the baby

03:26You're the youngest

03:27Yeah well

03:28I'm just saying she loves you

03:30Also talk about on Facebook now

03:32Is marriage equality

03:33And how she has two gay sons

03:35I mean she's just saying that to piss off her Arizona friends

03:38She befriended me on Facebook

03:41You deserve it

03:42Rude

03:46It's so quiet here

04:03Wyoming is creepy

04:08I just keep thinking about Matthew Shepard

04:11You're so fucking morbid

04:14Where are you eating pizza?

04:16Matthew Shepard ate pizza

04:17I can't take you anyway

04:21Nope

04:22Do you feel like an American?

04:27What do you mean?

04:30I don't know

04:31I was driving through Wyoming

04:33If we were straight white men

04:36Do you think we'd feel like we owned it?

04:39Probably

04:39I mean I feel like I own LA

04:41I feel like I earned it

04:44I feel like if anybody tried to Kim Davis me

04:46I'd fucking annihilate them

04:47But in Wyoming

04:48Are we the Kim Davis?

04:51No

04:53Nobody wants to kill Kim Davis

04:55When people want to kill Kim Davis

04:57If we tried to kill Kim Davis

04:59Do you think we'd get the key to West Hollywood?

05:01No

05:01No?

05:02No I think they'd put us all in a concentration camp

05:04Oh man

05:05Not again

05:06What's gonna happen in LA?

05:16I don't know

05:17We're gonna be broke

05:19Are we gonna be happy?

05:22I don't think that's in our control

05:23People act like it is

05:25People write books about it

05:27We were miserable in New York

05:29Yeah

05:30And we both wanted to be there so badly

05:32I wanted to live in New York City my entire life

05:36Thought you moved there for me

05:37Well yes of course that too

05:39But

05:39I had this idea in my head

05:43Of the person that I was gonna be when I got there

05:46Guess you're still exactly who you are

05:49No matter how much you pay in rent

05:50Yeah basically

05:52Oh well

05:56Just check it off the bucket list

05:59You've been checking a lot of things off your bucket list this trip

06:02Yeah

06:03Like

06:04Sex at a national monument

06:06Sex and a camper

06:07Sex with a drifter

06:08He wasn't a drifter

06:11He was a drifter

06:13He said he was a drifter

06:15Come on

06:16You can think somebody's hot

06:17And still think that they're a drifter

06:18Yeah but you're just making him sound like he was a really sketchy character

06:20He was a sketchy character

06:21You met him in a gas station parking lot

06:23I'm sorry about your soul connection or whatever

06:25But come on

06:26Come on

06:27That's not fair

06:28Come on

06:29Look nobody came in anybody okay

06:31So what?

06:32So what I'm saying is that there's mitigating circumstances

06:34You know it could have been a lot worse

06:36Alright but you don't have to justify it

06:38No I'm not justifying it

06:40I'm just getting so sick of you blaming me for everything

06:41I didn't think he was sketchy

06:43Yes said every guy who ever got AIDS

06:45Whoa

06:55Yeah I kind of heard how that sounded

06:59You really hate yourself don't you?

07:04Yeah

07:04You don't get fucked

07:12Of course I want to get fucked

07:14Are we obsessed with sex?

07:26You mean like as a community?

07:28No like as a couple

07:29Probably

07:33Fuck

07:34But there's nothing wrong with liking sex

07:42And you like sex

07:44So what?

07:46Yeah

07:47Yeah

07:51And there's nothing wrong with liking different kinds of sex

07:55We can have sex for fun

07:57And profit

07:58And then we can come home to this

08:04The two of us

08:07We can have sex

08:09Like this

08:12Fuck

08:12Ow

08:14Sorry Jack Twist

08:16Jack Nasty

08:19We shouldn't have stupid sex

08:29I'm not suggesting that we have stupid sex

08:32Sometimes it seems like you are

08:34You're making it sound like we have a lot of stupid sex

08:36We had stupid sex with Jared

08:38Okay but that was different

08:42We've known Jack for years

08:45He's our friend

08:45And we were really really drunk

08:47Jared gave us gonorrhea

08:49And we had stupid sex with him a month later

08:51We might have given him gonorrhea

08:53Yeah

08:55We'll be more careful

08:57Okay

08:57Jack

08:58And you have to stop blaming me

09:05For things that we both do

09:07No one's making you do anything

09:10Oh

09:10Oh no

09:12But are we being self-destructive?

09:17Possibly

09:18What's that about?

09:21Is this therapy?

09:24I just don't understand why we're not happy

09:26Alright

09:30When have you ever been happy?

09:36What?

09:37That's a serious question

09:39Since I've known you

09:40When have you ever been happy?

09:46Four years ago

09:46When we first got the cat

09:49You came home from the gallery one day

09:54And spray-painted over all of your prints

09:55I was trying to make an artistic statement

09:59Then why did you throw them away?

10:01Maybe that was the statement

10:02I had to physically restrain you

10:04From throwing your camera into the reservoir

10:06Okay fine

10:07Last year when we first got to New York

10:10It was freezing and you were having panic attacks

10:14Like full-blown panic attacks

10:17Between the panic attacks though

10:20You never left the apartment

10:21I was trying to save money

10:23You might just not be the happy person

10:27Maybe you have to be okay with that

10:31I don't know I'm just bringing you down with me

10:34Is that it?

10:35No that's not what I'm saying

10:36You make me sound like a horrible person

10:37That's not what I'm saying

10:39How many times have I had to talk you off the ledge

10:41After a rejection letter?

10:42I don't think you wrote a single word this year

10:45That wasn't a rant on Facebook

10:46God

10:48When have we ever been happy?

10:56Six years ago

10:57When you first started cheating on me

11:02But before I found out about it

11:03Everything seemed possible

11:06I might have been happy then

11:11I wasn't

11:12I was miserable

11:14Everything was about to implode

11:17And your mother was paying our rent

11:18She's still paying our rent

11:23I need a cigarette

11:27You know it's a little

11:30Yeah well

11:31I'm feeling self-destructive

11:33You certainly know how that goes

11:35Just smoking in here

11:37I can't

11:38I have to resell this piece of shit

11:40When I get back to Los Angeles

11:41Nobody's gonna buy it

11:42If it smells like a fucking ashtray

11:43Fine go outside

11:45You can buy a bear

11:46I will

11:46She never fucking helped me with anything

11:48I have to fix everything by myself

11:50Oh fuck you

11:51Fuck you

11:52Okay so how do I help?

11:54Maybe it'll get us robbed by a drifter

11:55I apologize for that

11:57Great

11:57Well then how am I supposed to help?

11:59Huh?

11:59How am I supposed to stop this bullshit right now?

12:02I don't know

12:02Stop yelling at me

12:04I can't

12:05Fine

12:05Go get hate crimed

12:08Fuck

12:11Cal

12:24Cal

12:26Cal

12:28Hey

12:43Come to bed

13:02Okay

13:03I'm sorry about last night

13:20Me too

13:24Idaho

13:37That's what they say about you

13:38Very funny

13:39I love this podcast

13:44You like podcasts?

13:46Mmhmm

13:47I got into them so I'd have something to do on the subway

13:50Cause you don't read

13:51I read

13:52Well you don't read any of the books I give you

13:54That's because you give me too many books

13:55Too hard to pick

13:56It's a Sophie's choice

13:57Sophie's choice, huh?

13:59Uh-huh

13:59I don't remember Sophie

14:02Leaving both kids with the Nazis

14:03To go listen to a podcast

14:05That's because podcasts haven't been invented yet

14:08This is a pretty funny podcast

14:15Maybe I should start a podcast

14:18Why?

14:21Just trying to figure out what to do with my life

14:23I can't make art

14:25But maybe I can talk about it

14:26As soon as talking about it

14:28It stops making me angry

14:29This is what we're going to do with your life

14:31What?

14:31You're going to revamp your website

14:33Then we're going to advertise for new headshot clients

14:35We'll do a marathon day of shooting

14:37All of our friends with agents for cheap

14:38I will be your beautiful assistant

14:40And then we'll make postcards

14:42And deliver them to all the casting agencies in the city

14:45Sounds like a nightmare

14:47No, it doesn't

14:48Think about it

14:48You'll be making a lot of money

14:50Doing something that you love

14:51And you can still do your kinky gay shit on the side

14:53And eventually somebody will discover that

14:55Maybe for that

14:56You just need to cast a white or not

14:57So you're going to become a copywriter at an ad agency?

15:01No, I didn't say that

15:02Gore Vidal was a copywriter at an ad agency

15:04Okay, but I'm not Gore Vidal

15:06Okay, it's a one-to-one, Peggy Olson

15:07Okay, fine

15:08Maybe I will do that

15:10Or maybe I'll write about

15:12Culture for Gay blog

15:13Five cents a page

15:14Maybe I will write a sex device column

15:18Installing the virtues of selective condom use with drifters

15:21Do not

15:22You are always like this

15:24You are always so fucking depressing

15:26I'm sorry, I can't help it

15:28I'm a black hole

15:29Do not

15:31You do not have to make everything sexual

15:32Can't take a joke?

15:33I can take a joke

15:34Among other things

15:35Do not make me pull this car over and fuck you in the ass

15:38I will do it in front of all of these cows

15:40Moo!

15:41Did you want to go to New York without me?

16:02What?

16:03I understand if you did

16:05We've been together so long

16:06We do everything together

16:07Why would I want to go to New York without you?

16:11Well, you knew about it for a long time before you told me

16:13Yeah, but that's not because I didn't want you to come with me

16:17Guess I was just afraid you wouldn't want to

16:20What?

16:23It's not always easy to tell what you want, Tom

16:25Pretty simple, actually

16:29That's not true

16:31What did you tell me about Jeremy?

16:46Honestly?

16:48I knew it was going to end

16:49I kept thinking that it was over, but it was never over

16:52Why is that?

16:55Honestly, because I had feelings for him

16:57I mean, more than just sex

16:59I know that

17:01And he was a person, you know

17:03It's hard to ignore someone that you care about

17:08I mean, I've never had that problem

17:11But you didn't care about him

17:14That's not true, I cared about him

17:15Okay, I didn't care about him

17:18I'm a terrible person

17:19But

17:20I did get to see a little bit of what you're talking about

17:23When you came to the gallery

17:24It was so sad

17:26I was such a cunt to him

17:29Well, that's because he was acting like a crazy person

17:31That is a crazy thing to do

17:33No, he wasn't crazy

17:34He was sad

17:36Yeah

17:37We made him sad

17:39We shouldn't do that

17:41Yeah

17:42We need to use our powers for good instead of evil

17:46We should save babies from burning buildings

17:48Oh, thank you

17:50Yeah, there are enough babies

17:51I think it's harder to show up in a new city as a couple

18:02Why?

18:05You just have this, like, built-in excuse

18:09Not to go out, not to meet new people

18:11Not to have new experiences

18:13You have this safety net

18:15You did want to go to New York without me

18:18That is not what I'm saying

18:19Were you trying to set me and Jeremy up?

18:22God, no

18:23Well, then why did you invite him over that night?

18:29I guess I was curious

18:30What the two of you were like together

18:35Because you spent so much time together without me

18:40I didn't want there to be anything I didn't know about you

18:42It's that crazy

18:43No

18:45There's always going to be stuff that we don't know about each other

18:48And I think it's good to keep things to yourself sometimes

18:52I knew it

18:53Why?

18:53You keep things for me

18:54Well, you're jealous and crazy

18:57I'm not jealous and crazy

18:58You're getting mad right now

18:59No, I'm not mad

19:00I just...

19:01You call me jealous and crazy, okay?

19:04I may be crazy

19:05But I don't know how many guys I have to watch you fuck

19:07To convince you that I'm not jealous

19:08I just want you to trust me

19:12I do trust you

19:13I just don't understand how you're so secretive with me

19:18But such an exhibitionist when you're writing

19:19What does that mean?

19:23Nothing, forget about it

19:24Just forget I said anything

19:27Do you really think I'm an exhibitionist?

19:32There's nothing wrong with that

19:34I mean, I know we're sex positive or whatever now

19:39But I don't need to think I'm, like, getting off on it

19:43I didn't say that

19:45Yeah, but that's what you meant

19:46You think that I'm getting off by airing all of our dirty laundry

19:51I love your writing

19:53But it makes you uncomfortable

19:55Maybe

19:57Sometimes it feels like you're more comfortable

19:59Telling the truth to strangers than you are to me

20:02Do you really think that?

20:06Sometimes

20:06I don't

20:06I don't want you to think that

20:11And you look back on days when things look so new

20:21Has the size of the world got the better of you

20:31Being away from everything feels good

20:35Yeah, it does

20:37Why do you think he did it?

20:42I don't know

20:43Yeah

20:43Because he really needed money

20:47Yeah, but why take the time to get to know us?

20:51Why tell us about himself?

20:55I don't know

20:56Do you think his parents really died?

21:01Well, you know

21:02I miss my mom

21:04And sometimes

21:05I wonder

21:08If I have a normal family

21:11A good upbringing

21:14Would I be a well-adjusted person?

21:20Probably not

21:21But he wants to be normal

21:31You awake?

21:44Yeah

21:45I'm scared too

21:48Of what?

21:52Everything

21:52Us

21:54I'm scared for us

21:57I'm scared of us

21:59Me too

22:05This is how downward spiles start

22:08You're too scared to look down

22:11What do you see?

22:15When you look down

22:16We're broke and it's all my fault

22:24A little bad luck goes from bad to fucking bad

22:28And then we're begging your mom to pay our rent

22:30Or medical bills

22:34If we get sick

22:37If we get

22:39And I'm 50

22:43And I'm telling everybody that I was a writer

22:45Because I got something published in the Paris Review

22:47When I was in my 20s

22:48But I'm not a writer

22:51I don't write anything

22:54Sometimes I go to a coffee shop and I pretend to write

22:57I'm really just checking Facebook

22:59Or whatever the fuck it is

23:00Because we're going to be checking on our 50

23:01And I die without having achieved anything of importance

23:08And nobody cares

23:11I don't care

23:13You know I'll scandalize everyone at the nursing home

23:17By making them read your work

23:18Thank you

23:24What makes you think I'm going to die before you?

23:30I'm a vegetarian

23:31Yeah, but you're also a lush

23:33So are you

23:35And you smoke

23:36I'm going to quit

23:38When I get back that way, I'm going to quit

23:41Everybody looks at you like you're a fucking Republican

23:44When you smoke there anyways

23:46What do you see?

23:53When you look down

23:54We just keep getting drunker and drunker

24:03We have sex with a different guy every night

24:09To distract ourselves from how bored and unhappy we are

24:13But we can't even see how bored and unhappy we are

24:17We've just accepted a new standard of dissatisfaction

24:21We lose ourselves

24:26By drinking too much

24:29Doing too many drugs

24:32By having too much sex

24:34We can't remember what it's like to connect with another person

24:40To really even connect with each other

24:44Just the two of us

24:48No matter what we're doing

24:51No matter where we are

24:52But we're not even sad about it

24:58Jesus

24:59Yeah

25:03Yeah

25:04That's not going to happen

25:08No, I know, I know

25:09No

25:10It's not going to happen

25:12None of it

25:13None of that is going to happen

25:16It could

25:17Come on

25:19What if it already has?

25:25It's a shitty fucking thing to say

25:26We might have a point

25:31What if you get sick of me?

25:39It's not going to happen

25:40You're going to get sick of me

25:42No, I won't

25:43I know I can be a lot

25:44I can be a lot too

25:45Maybe we're perfect for each other

25:49I'm so fucking scared

25:54Me too

25:58Me too

26:02Woke up in your bed again

26:12Tried to give me head again

26:15Tried to get it on

26:17I can't get up

26:18So, so, so you didn't finish

26:23Only so much I could take

26:26Glad you fell asleep

26:28I'm still awake

26:29And you know me too well

26:35Our love was so symmetrical

26:40It's so not hard

26:44To

26:45Woke up in your room

26:48Shhh!

ES S03 E05 Ce quelque chose d'Idaho en nous - gay theme series

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