00:00When I was seven years old, my dad would make me order for the entire table at a restaurant.
00:05He would say this, hey, you're the man at the table now.
00:07When the waiter comes to the table, you're going to ask them their name.
00:10You're going to say, nice to meet you, their name.
00:12And then you're going to say their name in a sentence.
00:14And I was like, dad, this is stupid. I'm not doing this.
00:16He was like, do it. I'm like, all right.
00:17So I never forget. The guy come to the table. I say, what's your name?
00:19He say, John. I say, hey, nice to meet you, John.
00:22John, me and my sister would like two Shirley Temples, please.
00:24And my dad, I'll this. My mom, I'll this.
00:25And so he would make me do that everywhere we go.
00:27Every, like, decent restaurant, nice restaurant, you know, he'd make me do that.
00:30And at first I was like, oh, this is so stupid.
00:31But I remember one summer in, maybe three, four months after he started making me do it,
00:35we're at this place, the Cliff House in Maine.
00:37I have the server's name and my Shirley Temples are empty, mine and my sister's.
00:41And my dad looks at me and he goes, you want another Shirley Temple?
00:43I say, yeah. And he goes, call the waiter.
00:45So I forget what the guy's name was. We'll call him Matt.
00:47And I say, excuse me, Matt. Comes right over.
00:48I said, me and my sister would like two Shirley Temples, please.
00:50And I look over and there's a guy sitting right there with his wife.
00:53He's about 50 years old and he's flailing.
00:56Sir, excuse me, sir.
00:57Not getting the attention of the waiter.
00:59And he had the same waiter as we did.
01:00And Matt already brought my Shirley Temples back to the table
01:03before that dumb fuck ever got the attention of the waiter.
01:06Why? Because everybody's a fucking sir.
01:08You have zero control of any situation if you do not have the name of the person.
