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00:00:00I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:00:30Hey, Marla, my cleaning service is like, so I can't make it.
00:00:49Yeah, it's been a big old shit show.
00:00:51I had people checking into units that weren't cleaned, and now I'm here with a vacuum.
00:00:56No, no, you stay.
00:00:57I'm fine.
00:00:58You know, I got my music.
00:01:00It's kind of relaxing.
00:01:02Okay, now, bye-bye.
00:01:21Hi, can I help you?
00:01:23Yes, I'm having a little bit of car trouble.
00:01:26Well, these statement roads, they got me stuck.
00:01:30I'm getting up over your phone.
00:01:33My phone?
00:01:33Don't you have a cell phone?
00:01:35It died.
00:01:37This just ain't my day.
00:01:39Oh, this here is my son.
00:01:45Wait, what are you?
00:01:46No, you can't.
00:01:48No, you, what are you?
00:01:48You can't come in here.
00:01:49Diane Hamby, she's the first one to die.
00:02:03This guy did it.
00:02:05That is fucked up.
00:02:06Yeah, that's just the beginning of the fucked up.
00:02:09That log matches the one that killed the couple in the car.
00:02:13I think he used it as a weapon.
00:02:15But in the 911 call, it said that the log was flying by itself.
00:02:19I'll let you know if I see a flying log, Chief.
00:02:21Yeah, I just started watching it.
00:02:23Yeah, there's one there.
00:02:24All right, you're digitizing this, right?
00:02:25Not yet.
00:02:26I don't have the right cables.
00:02:28Well, you better get your ass over to Best Buy then,
00:02:29because you're digitizing this tonight.
00:02:31Oh, come on, Chief.
00:02:32I got trivia.
00:02:33The FBI will be here in the morning,
00:02:35and I just know they're going to take over this case,
00:02:37and I want my own copy.
00:02:38You understand?
00:02:39Yes, Chief.
00:02:40Hey.
00:02:41Oh, by the way, the couple in the car, the girl,
00:02:44yeah, she's still alive.
00:02:46What?
00:02:47Her face looked like bone chili.
00:02:49Oh, well, that was her boyfriend's skull matter.
00:02:51Turns out that she fell underneath the steering wheel,
00:02:53and that protected her, so...
00:02:54I'm not sure I'd want to be alive after that.
00:03:05Help!
00:03:05Help!
00:03:06Help!
00:03:06Help!
00:03:06Help!
00:03:06Help!
00:03:07Help!
00:03:07Help!
00:03:07Help!
00:03:08Help!
00:03:09Wait, hold on.
00:03:09Okay, I'm ready.
00:03:11Yes!
00:03:15Looks like this city girl finally learns how to throw a lasso.
00:03:20Right next to this cozy Yule-off.
00:03:22There's just one problem.
00:03:25Miss Holtel, turn it off.
00:03:26Well, I don't consider that a problem.
00:03:32Oh, it's taking it off!
00:03:34Take it off!
00:03:35Turn it off!
00:03:36Take it off!
00:03:37You know, you should give those movies a chance.
00:03:46They're cheesy, but they make you feel good.
00:03:48Where's Alex?
00:03:52Let me get the doctor.
00:03:55Is he still alive?
00:03:56I'll get the doctor.
00:03:57I'll get the doctor.
00:03:59Alex!
00:03:59Alex!
00:04:02Thanks for letting us stay.
00:04:03Oh, no problem.
00:04:03You don't have to thank them.
00:04:05We're paying for it, too.
00:04:06We shouldn't have to pay anything, because Doug's fucked up, right?
00:04:09We're going to figure it out in the morning.
00:04:10So is there any room off limits?
00:04:12Yeah, actually, our room has our luggage in it, so it's...
00:04:15This one has the hot tub.
00:04:17Speaking of what...
00:04:18This hot tub.
00:04:21Oh, hell yeah.
00:04:22Now we're talking.
00:04:24Excuse me.
00:04:24You're not going to come?
00:04:25Uh, no.
00:04:26The door's open.
00:04:27Just come in.
00:04:28Oh, please?
00:04:29You don't know what's been in there.
00:04:31I'm going to take you some more.
00:04:32Fuck her and positive.
00:04:33Just hang out.
00:04:34I'm coming.
00:04:39Hold your horses.
00:04:39Uh, why not?
00:04:43Oh, God.
00:04:47Hello?
00:04:51Hello?
00:05:00What the fuck is that?
00:05:04Who's there?
00:05:21Come out.
00:05:22I have a gun.
00:05:34No, no.
00:05:44Fuck that.
00:05:51What the fuck?
00:05:53Fuck.
00:05:55Nice walk, you know?
00:05:56I love trees.
00:05:57I never cut trees.
00:05:58I don't even use fucking paper.
00:06:00Help!
00:06:00Help!
00:06:01Help!
00:06:04Hey, hey, wolf.
00:06:12Here's some fentanyl.
00:06:13Yeah.
00:06:13Holidays are stressful, you fucker!
00:06:20Yep.
00:06:22Oh, yeah.
00:06:22Now we're talking.
00:06:24Oh, fuck, yeah.
00:06:25I see that.
00:06:27Oh, shit.
00:06:28Yeah, baby.
00:06:35Hey, hey, Mr. Loggy.
00:06:37You know what this is?
00:06:39It's a chainsaw.
00:06:41Woo-hoo!
00:06:43Oh, yeah, you better hide.
00:06:45Because I'm going to whip your wooden axe.
00:06:47No, no, no.
00:06:58No, no.
00:06:59No, no.
00:07:00What are you fucking doing, you stupid log?
00:07:02No, you fucking, no.
00:07:03I told her to stay home, at least until after the holidays, but she was stubborn.
00:07:22And what's with the axe?
00:07:25Oh, here she comes.
00:07:27Thank you, everybody.
00:07:33It's really good to be back.
00:07:37I just want to get in the work.
00:07:41I want to get really lost in the work.
00:07:42Just as long as everyone knows it's not me cracking the whip.
00:07:45I don't mind donating a million, but I do mind donating a million to lobby the government and
00:07:54then nothing happens.
00:07:55Obviously, world governments have been slow, but there are steps that private entities can
00:08:02take, like growing coral in nurseries, that we then reintroduce into the wild.
00:08:10Oh, so colorful.
00:08:13Coral is just beautiful, isn't it?
00:08:16I think we have a deal.
00:08:18Hold on a sec.
00:08:19I'll get my checkbook.
00:08:30Oh, my God.
00:08:31Look out.
00:08:33It's going to burn my soul.
00:08:35It's going to burn my soul.
00:08:38What's going on here?
00:08:40I think it's an issue with the connection.
00:08:42We'll call you right back.
00:08:43What's going on?
00:08:44Oh, my God.
00:08:44Why aren't you guys hiding?
00:08:45Why aren't you guys hiding?
00:08:51She just freaked out right from the door.
00:08:54I'll wait.
00:08:54Here she comes.
00:08:55Here she comes.
00:08:55What do you mean the case is closed?
00:09:06The killer used the log on you and your fiancé.
00:09:18Then he went back to the cabin and died in the fire.
00:09:21That's not at all what happened.
00:09:23The log flew, okay?
00:09:25It's all on tape.
00:09:26The tape has been destroyed, unfortunately.
00:09:29Yeah, because you're trying to fucking cover it up.
00:09:31What about the alien?
00:09:32An alien body?
00:09:33And the giant UFO?
00:09:35We didn't find anything, and neither did the FBI.
00:09:37Okay, what about Holly?
00:09:38I think she survived.
00:09:40She saw something for sure.
00:09:41I suggest you could help.
00:09:42That's what I'm trying to get.
00:09:45Hello?
00:09:45What the f-
00:09:52Who is it?
00:10:09You can see it's me.
00:10:12Are you alone?
00:10:13Don't rub it in.
00:10:19Fuck them.
00:10:20You're the best thing that ever happened to Coral.
00:10:22Not too much.
00:10:23I'm on painkillers.
00:10:29I just don't know how I'm going to survive the holidays.
00:10:33That's not easy.
00:10:34That yulog wants to kill me.
00:10:35It's going to find a way.
00:10:37I just feel like I'm trapped in a horror movie that I can't get out of.
00:10:41Zoe, you have been in a horror movie, which is why you need a reset.
00:10:47Move to a new movie.
00:10:50Something warm and fuzzy.
00:10:52Like a Hallmark movie.
00:10:54No.
00:10:55No Hallmark.
00:10:56It's too Christmassy.
00:10:57Okay, okay.
00:10:58How about this?
00:11:00Mexico.
00:11:03Mexico.
00:11:05Just sun and beach and sexy pool boys.
00:11:08No fireplaces.
00:11:09Just an open bar.
00:11:13I could bring my axe.
00:11:15Uh-huh.
00:11:16How much is it?
00:11:17I'm hitting by.
00:11:20No.
00:11:20I'm hitting by.
00:11:21No, wait, no.
00:11:22Too late.
00:11:23It's done.
00:11:26I see a tree.
00:11:28That's a palm tree, and I'm going to bop you.
00:11:31Ooh, they have three infinity pools.
00:11:33Oh, look, isn't that cute.
00:12:03Mistletoe.
00:12:05Gross.
00:12:14Whoa!
00:12:14Whoa!
00:12:20See?
00:12:21This is how we die.
00:12:23No, no.
00:12:24Zoe, friends, okay, we're flipping the script.
00:12:26We're manifesting.
00:12:27The tow truck driver is going to be a 300-pound psycho with a chainsaw.
00:12:31Or maybe he'll be a total snack, recently widowed and on the rebound.
00:12:37Hmm?
00:12:37If he's wearing a ski mask, I am running.
00:12:39Well, could you at least put down the axe, or else he'll think we're the psycho killers?
00:12:42Oh, God.
00:12:44Oh.
00:13:05Someone call the tow truck?
00:13:06I told you.
00:13:19Come on, gang, let's go, let's go!
00:13:36Who's got the charging cables?
00:13:40Patterson!
00:14:06Okay, so, do you want the good news or the bad news?
00:14:17Whatever you recommend, I mean, you're the...
00:14:20Mechanic.
00:14:21Mechanic.
00:14:23Your radiator's shot.
00:14:26Now, it can be fixed, but it's not going to be cheap.
00:14:29Okay, so what's the good news?
00:14:31That was the good news.
00:14:34The bad news is the landslide blocked the road.
00:14:37You guys aren't getting out of here for a few days.
00:14:39No, no, no, no, no.
00:14:40That's not going to work.
00:14:41That's not until after Christmas.
00:14:43Baby girl, it will be fine.
00:14:45This place is lovely.
00:14:46We'll get an awesome room top of the line.
00:14:49Yeah, that might be kind of hard.
00:14:51Hotels get pretty booked up this time of year.
00:14:54For the festival.
00:14:55Festival?
00:14:57Yeah, it's the annual Yule Log Festival.
00:15:00The annual Yule Log Festival?
00:15:07But your town's called Mistletoe.
00:15:09We used to have a mistletoe festival.
00:15:12I guess people thought it was rapey.
00:15:15We are still in a horror movie, okay?
00:15:18Our car breaks down in a creepy little town,
00:15:20and they have a Yule Log Festival?
00:15:22This type of thing happens all the time in Hallmark movies.
00:15:25A wacky mishap forces sexy city people, that's us,
00:15:29to temporarily live in an adorable small town
00:15:32where we meet cute with total eyes.
00:15:34What?
00:15:36It happens! Look it up!
00:15:39So, I sleep on that pull-out couch over there.
00:15:44Y'all are welcome to share.
00:15:46That's very kind of you.
00:15:47No, no, no, no, no.
00:15:48We are going into town, and we are going to rent a helicopter
00:15:52or something.
00:15:53I don't know about that.
00:15:54But there are some cute antique stores.
00:15:57Yeah.
00:15:58You go and report back,
00:16:02and I'll stay here with Tanner
00:16:04and see if we can't get our engine purring.
00:16:13Love you.
00:16:14Bye-bye.
00:16:27I'm going to be doing a good boy here in just a sec.
00:16:53Whoa!
00:16:54Whoa!
00:16:55How about you look where you're going?
00:16:57You're the one walking around with a selfie stick.
00:16:59It's my job.
00:17:00I have millions of followers.
00:17:02You probably recognize me.
00:17:04I don't.
00:17:05I'm Beauregard.
00:17:07My channel's Beaurevolution.
00:17:08I was voted in the top ten brands
00:17:10for the Influence Awards.
00:17:11Thrice.
00:17:12What's up, my Beaurevolutionaries?
00:17:15I just met cute with one of the local yokels.
00:17:19I'm not a local yokel.
00:17:20With that ax, I assumed you were a lumberjack.
00:17:24Oh, hey, you're getting a lot of likes.
00:17:26I think the fans want me to ask you to dinner.
00:17:28I'm not interested.
00:17:29Here, let's exchange contact info.
00:17:31Zoe!
00:17:32This is perfect.
00:17:33How did you...
00:17:34I do Beauregard's love life A to Z,
00:17:35and you can be my Z.
00:17:37Wait...
00:17:38Tonight at eight, okay?
00:17:39I'll text you the deets, and don't worry,
00:17:40it's my treat.
00:17:41Because I'm rich.
00:17:42Wait, uh, Beauregard.
00:17:45Hi.
00:17:46Um, do you have a helicopter?
00:17:50You bet I do.
00:17:52Here's money for the dry cleaners.
00:17:56Wait, that's a thousand dollars.
00:17:58Is that not enough?
00:17:59I have no idea how much regular things cost.
00:18:01I'll see you tonight.
00:18:10Oh, my...
00:18:11Oh, my goodness.
00:18:12I am so sorry.
00:18:13I was blowing these bells of hay for my heifers,
00:18:16and I guess I just...
00:18:17It's okay.
00:18:18Oh, my manners.
00:18:20I'm Dale.
00:18:21At least get you a glass of fresh milk.
00:18:24No, really.
00:18:25It's okay.
00:18:27Oh, great.
00:18:32Oh, my goodness.
00:18:33Are you okay?
00:18:34I am getting a little sore.
00:18:36I was just toting around this here fire hose,
00:18:38and I wasn't watching where I was going.
00:18:40Oh, where are my manners?
00:18:42I'm Blaze.
00:18:43Blaze?
00:18:44I know.
00:18:45Kind of ironic.
00:18:46Blaze?
00:18:47Fireman?
00:18:48The guys like to razz me about it.
00:18:51And you are?
00:18:52In a hurry.
00:18:53Goodbye.
00:18:57Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:19:01I was just taking these tools to the construction site,
00:19:04and I must have...
00:19:05Help!
00:19:06Help!
00:19:11I'm sorry to grab you,
00:19:12but you seem new here.
00:19:16Our town is known for its clumsy hunks.
00:19:20Um, thank you.
00:19:23Bert.
00:19:24Bert Card.
00:19:26Zoe!
00:19:27I don't think I've ever met a Bert before.
00:19:29Short for birthday.
00:19:30Birthday Card.
00:19:32My mom has a sense of humor.
00:19:34That's her, by the way.
00:19:35Oh, uh, nice to meet you, Mrs. Card.
00:19:38Call me Nana.
00:19:39And that's my son, Jackson.
00:19:41I make the superhero ornaments.
00:19:43Welcome to our humble little Christmas ornament store.
00:19:47Christmas ornament store.
00:19:49Is this all year round?
00:19:51Have you ever had pancakes for supper?
00:19:54Uh, yeah. Yes.
00:19:56Mom always said you should be able to enjoy the things you like
00:19:59anytime you want.
00:20:01She sounds like a very smart woman.
00:20:04Uh, where is she?
00:20:07Hey, man.
00:20:08Oh.
00:20:10I am, I am so sorry.
00:20:14Savannah left us two years ago.
00:20:16My, uh, my fiancee, he passed a couple months ago.
00:20:22We are in the club.
00:20:23No one wants to be in.
00:20:24I-I'm so sorry.
00:20:27At least Savannah left you this store as a legacy.
00:20:31Not for long, I'm afraid.
00:20:34A big corporate Christmas ornament store just opened up downtown.
00:20:37They're taking all our customers.
00:20:38I keep saying you should do a billboard.
00:20:41Advertise.
00:20:42And put me on it where I can be famous.
00:20:45Nana wants to be famous.
00:20:47Mm.
00:20:48Great.
00:20:49Well, uh, I think that the coast is clear.
00:20:52So, um, goodbye.
00:20:56Oh!
00:20:57Our winter collection!
00:20:59Oh, my gosh.
00:21:00I am so sorry.
00:21:02Oh, wait.
00:21:05I have cash.
00:21:06Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
00:21:07Your money's no good here.
00:21:08It's not just about the money.
00:21:11Our customers ordered those.
00:21:14And I thought the hunks were clumsy.
00:21:16These women from the big city are worse.
00:21:18Look, I think that I fixed it.
00:21:37Damn it.
00:21:41May I?
00:21:42Please.
00:21:45Ugh.
00:21:48You're doing great.
00:21:51Thanks.
00:21:52It's just that, uh...
00:21:56In the big city, you'll rush everywhere.
00:22:01Here in a small town, we take our time.
00:22:05Like giving the glue time to set.
00:22:07Mm.
00:22:09And be gentle.
00:22:12As gentle as if you are mending a broken heart.
00:22:16You won't stay single long in mistletoe.
00:22:32What?
00:22:33No, I...
00:22:34I don't plan to stay long in mistletoe at all.
00:22:37Mm.
00:22:41Oh, crap.
00:22:42I, um...
00:22:43I gotta go.
00:22:50This place is really nice.
00:22:52I own it.
00:22:54It's called disruptions because I'm a disruptor.
00:22:58So, um...
00:23:00You had said that you had...
00:23:01Hello, my bow revolutionaries.
00:23:03We're here at my restaurant, Disruptions, with my beautiful date, Zoe.
00:23:10Zoe, have you heard of avocado toast?
00:23:12Could you please not?
00:23:13Then you are gonna love avocado fruitcake!
00:23:18Signing out.
00:23:20Feeding the engaging content beast is exhausting.
00:23:24So tell me about Zoe.
00:23:25What makes Zoe tick?
00:23:27I just really need your helicopter to get out of this town today.
00:23:42Are you having a PTSD flashback because of what happened to your fiancee?
00:23:48How do you know about that?
00:23:50My team researches everyone I date, but have no fear.
00:23:53You see that guy over there?
00:23:58Bodyguard.
00:24:00Nothing can harm you when you're with me.
00:24:04So, um...
00:24:06About that helicopter.
00:24:08Oh, yeah, it's here.
00:24:10It is picking up some people tonight.
00:24:12Can I get on it?
00:24:13Zoe, so soon?
00:24:14If you need a place to stay, I have a suite.
00:24:17I just really need to leave, please.
00:24:21Okay.
00:24:23It leaves tonight at 9.30 sharp.
00:24:25I'll have my car take you.
00:24:26Really?
00:24:27Oh, thank you. Thank you.
00:24:33Bye.
00:24:35First avocado fruitcake.
00:24:38Oh!
00:24:39It is disruptive and delicious.
00:24:46Yeah, I'm sponsoring the Yulog Festival this year.
00:24:48I'm flying in influencers from all over the country to help promote it.
00:24:51That's where my choppers go.
00:24:52Picking up influencers.
00:24:54Oh!
00:24:55Oh, my gosh.
00:24:56I'm so sorry.
00:24:57I was taking these presents to the orphanage.
00:24:59Hey, she's with me.
00:25:00Beat it.
00:25:01Didn't expect to see an angel.
00:25:03All right, all right, all right.
00:25:04Nobody cares.
00:25:05Get out of here.
00:25:06Let's go.
00:25:07Get out of here.
00:25:08I should probably get to that chopper.
00:25:14Come on.
00:25:15We got a couple more minutes.
00:25:16I want to show you my latest disruptive business.
00:25:20Get ready.
00:25:21Oh, ornaments.
00:25:22Oh, I'm completely disrupting the Christmas ornament industry because ornaments can be so much more.
00:25:35So you're the one putting Bert's store out of business.
00:25:37I'm a disruptor.
00:25:38Look, I have talking ornaments, 3D printed ornaments, ornaments with AI.
00:25:43Oh, here.
00:25:44Check this one out.
00:25:45They're racing through time to fight the British.
00:25:48It's 1776.
00:25:4917 Fast.
00:25:5017 Furious.
00:25:51Now in theaters.
00:25:52The movie studios pay me to advertise, then I sell an ornament.
00:25:56Double the money.
00:25:58Mr. Bogart, it's time to get Miss Zoe to the helicopter.
00:26:02We're just having fun.
00:26:03Are you sure you want to go?
00:26:05I'm sure.
00:26:06Thanks for everything.
00:26:09It's a gift.
00:26:10Or until we meet again.
00:26:12Mamma Mia!
00:26:13Here we go yet again.
00:26:15Mamma Mia 7 is laying its love on you in theaters now.
00:26:19I don't normally like sequels, but this one's pretty good.
00:26:24Can we make one more stop?
00:26:25Yes, ma'am.
00:26:32Get her out of here!
00:26:49Jinxer!
00:26:50My guy's a chopper! Let's get out of here!
00:27:04Oh.
00:27:05Uh...
00:27:08Sorry...
00:27:10Jinxer! My guy's a chopper! Let's get out of here!
00:27:14Oh! Uh, sorry.
00:27:18I was hoping you'd be charmed by our little town.
00:27:22Am I a bad friend if I want to stay? You can stay. I'm getting out of here.
00:27:26Oh!
00:27:38I'm so sorry. I was just refilling these gas cans.
00:27:42I hope it didn't cause any sparks. Wait! No! I'm coming!
00:27:46Wait! I'm coming! Wait for me!
00:27:50Wait! Wait! Down here!
00:27:56Fuck!
00:28:00Fuck!
00:28:02Fuck!
00:28:04Fuck!
00:28:06Fuck!
00:28:08Fuck!
00:28:10Fuck!
00:28:12Fuck!
00:28:13Fuck!
00:28:14Fuck!
00:28:15Fuck!
00:28:16Fuck!
00:28:17Fuck!
00:28:18Fuck!
00:28:19Fuck!
00:28:20Fuck!
00:28:21Fuck!
00:28:22Fuck!
00:28:23Fuck!
00:28:24Hey! We were just looking at Christmas lights.
00:28:26Oh no, Zoe, it's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay.
00:28:36Thank you for letting me stay here.
00:28:42Think nothing of it.
00:28:44Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:28:46Let me move that.
00:28:50I feel so guilty. I feel like I'm putting you out or...
00:28:53No, no, no. My wife would love that you're here.
00:28:57Wouldn't you, honey?
00:28:59I'm teasing. I don't actually speak to my wife's ashes.
00:29:04I speak to Alex.
00:29:06Oh, I totally talked to Savannah, too.
00:29:09How did she... I'm sorry to ask, I just...
00:29:13No, no. There was, uh... She was jogging one night,
00:29:16and a lumber truck full of logs made a sharp turn and a cable snapped.
00:29:22That is so strange.
00:29:25A similar thing happened to my fiancé.
00:29:28He was killed by, um...
00:29:31A Yule log.
00:29:34Is that why you carried the axe?
00:29:37Oh.
00:29:38If anyone asks, I tell them I lost a bet.
00:29:41It seems to work.
00:29:42Nice.
00:29:44Uh, this is him.
00:29:47I was on my way to Mexico to scatter the ashes,
00:29:51but I'm not sure if that's what he wants.
00:29:54Been there.
00:29:55Bought the Christmas ornament.
00:29:57I don't know if Savannah wants to be in the house,
00:29:59or at the beach, or what.
00:30:02And once you scatter the ashes, you can't unscatter them.
00:30:05Hmm.
00:30:07Should we...
00:30:09put them together?
00:30:10Oh.
00:30:11On the shelf?
00:30:12Um...
00:30:13If they can chat?
00:30:15Um...
00:30:16Yeah.
00:30:17Okay.
00:30:21There's plenty of room.
00:30:24Oh, gee, uh...
00:30:26Tells her in the guest bath.
00:30:28Hmm.
00:30:29Uh, sleep.
00:30:30Sleep well.
00:30:31I am so glad you decided to stay.
00:30:37I said I'm stranded, and I'm terrified.
00:30:40And you have two men after you?
00:30:42The perfect holiday distraction.
00:30:43I said I'm terrified.
00:30:45Am I gonna be Team Beauregard or Team Bert?
00:30:48I have to admit, I hate both of those names.
00:30:50You know, I feel like we're having two different conversations.
00:30:53The one I'm having is more fun.
00:30:55So one's sweet and one's rich?
00:30:57I wouldn't put it that bluntly.
00:30:59Oh, and I didn't tell you.
00:31:01Beauregard's ornament store is the one that's putting birds out of business.
00:31:04And you're sleeping with them?
00:31:05Boo, that is cold.
00:31:07You've got to tell Bert.
00:31:08I'm not sleeping with anyone.
00:31:10I'm sleeping at Bert's house.
00:31:12And...
00:31:13Beau and I just had dinner.
00:31:14Oh, he's Beau now?
00:31:16Things are heating up.
00:31:19I gotta go.
00:31:20We're binging all the ten things I hate about you movies.
00:31:22Wait, there's more than one?
00:31:24Love you, bye!
00:31:43You're gonna die tonight.
00:31:44That's right.
00:31:45Jigsaw is back.
00:31:46With a whole new set of traps.
00:31:50What's the banking on the U.S.?
00:31:53You're going to die tonight?
00:31:54You're gonna die tonight!
00:31:55You're gonna die tonight.
00:31:56I have a little...
00:31:57You gotta die tonight.
00:31:58Ihnenors are still taking up.
00:31:59You're in trouble.
00:32:00And you're going to die tonight.
00:32:01You're gonna die tonight.
00:32:02You're gonna die tonight.
00:32:04You're gonna die tonight, man.
00:32:05You're gonna die tonight!
00:32:06You're gonna die tonight!
00:32:07A little bit...
00:32:08Yorg.
00:32:10Banana pancakes.
00:32:12Is there a better way to start the day?
00:32:15Morning, Zoey.
00:32:16How did you sleep?
00:32:17um what does it look like she was tossing and turning all night long screaming i i'm sorry if
00:32:30i um kept you uh up oh oh that's okay nana would you and jackson go open up the store
00:32:38i want to talk to zellie come on jackson we have got some broken ornaments to glue
00:32:44okay that's not helpful
00:32:46so you kicking me out no of course not but zoe and i really don't mean to overstep but i i think you
00:33:03may have some untreated trauma it's not trauma it's a curse sure when savannah died i thought
00:33:10that i was cursed i drowned myself in booze no you're not listening nobody listens okay
00:33:18i'll listen
00:33:21i am locking my mouth shut
00:33:25you don't want to hear it it's it's it's too crazy
00:33:31you're talking to someone whose name is birthday card try me
00:33:41my fiancee alex he had rented us his cabin and um we weren't the only guest at this location
00:34:01anyway it doesn't it doesn't make sense
00:34:18i understand it
00:34:21there's a log
00:34:25of the yule variety
00:34:27it has some sort of curse it followed you it killed your fiancee it tried to kill you
00:34:36yes
00:34:36not to mention all the other dark forces the the man in the fire and so forth
00:34:40yes but let me ask you this what if the log did blow up in that police station
00:34:48then you're spending your whole life worrying for nothing
00:34:52and what if it didn't blow up what if it's coming for me
00:34:55we're all gonna die we're all waiting for our own yule log to kill us
00:35:01but until that day comes wouldn't you rather live in a hallmark movie than in a horror movie
00:35:08yes obviously
00:35:10i got an idea
00:35:14when savannah died we didn't have a trauma doctor in town and we still don't but that's another story
00:35:21have a seat
00:35:22the point is i did my own research you can learn anything on youtube
00:35:26and i created my own treatment
00:35:29it saved my life
00:35:31i want to try it on you
00:35:35is this like um uh emdr with the eyes moving back and forth
00:35:42that's part of it
00:35:43i know it looks dumb but try it for five minutes palms up
00:35:48does it hurt
00:35:51don't open that
00:35:52now i want you to follow the light with your eyes
00:35:57i know it seems ridiculous
00:35:59it seems absolutely ridiculous
00:36:01just trust me okay
00:36:02now i want you to think of what you're most scared of right now
00:36:08but don't say it
00:36:10okay
00:36:10now blurt it out
00:36:18a flying yule log
00:36:19open the card
00:36:20close the card
00:36:23zoe you're doing great
00:36:25keep looking at the light
00:36:26deep breaths
00:36:28you said this wouldn't hurt
00:36:31what are you most afraid of right now
00:36:33a flying yule log
00:36:37an alien
00:36:37a colt
00:36:38a hay tree
00:36:39a little man in the fire
00:36:40open the card
00:36:41i can't do this
00:36:48no no zoe this is all good
00:36:49keep going
00:36:50what are you afraid of right now
00:36:53that i have a curse
00:36:55and that people will die because of me
00:36:59open it
00:36:59one word what are you afraid of
00:37:04log
00:37:06one word what are you afraid of
00:37:08log
00:37:08look at the lights i can't hear you
00:37:09one word what are you afraid of
00:37:11a log
00:37:12a log
00:37:13a log god damn you
00:37:14open the card
00:37:15zoe
00:37:25zoe
00:37:25keep going
00:37:25you're doing
00:37:26great
00:37:27zoe
00:37:36zoe
00:37:40zoe
00:37:41i am so sorry i pushed you too hard i shouldn't have done that
00:37:45are you okay
00:37:46holy shit
00:37:55oh my gosh i feel great
00:37:58you do
00:38:00oh my god is this what normal people feel like every day
00:38:06i can't
00:38:07i can't
00:38:07open the card
00:38:09congratulations
00:38:18congratulations
00:38:19hi
00:38:38hey merry christmas
00:38:39hello happy holidays
00:38:42hi
00:38:46well don't you have a glow did you do a little boom chicka wow wow
00:39:00it is not like that nana oh i know what it's like oh no it's dawn
00:39:08hello welcome uh what kind of ornament can i interest you in
00:39:14oh i bought all my ornaments at that new store ornaments well there's so much
00:39:21more
00:39:22no
00:39:23no i'm here on real estate business
00:39:25we're not selling
00:39:27well i know change can be hard
00:39:30but this store could make way for something people actually want
00:39:35i'm not like a hundred different olive oils or flavored popcorn
00:39:38bert
00:39:42your business is a failure
00:39:44dawn
00:39:45you were a bitch in high school and you are a bitch now
00:39:48you're just jealous
00:39:49she wanted to be famous and yet i'm the one on tv and billboards
00:39:53real estate famous doesn't count
00:39:55i knew you couldn't leave me
00:39:58i missed the chopper
00:39:59that's because you want a second date
00:40:01my beau revolutionaries agree your video's getting a lot of engagement
00:40:05okay can we just talk later please
00:40:06it's a date i'll text you the deed
00:40:08i was gonna be a star but you slept with the drama teacher and got my role in greece
00:40:15you're such a beauty school dropout
00:40:18at least meet the buyer
00:40:20yes what's up beau revolutionaries
00:40:27i'm gonna uh
00:40:28i'm here my competitors quaint
00:40:31failing ornament store
00:40:34but i like it
00:40:38i'm here to make an offer
00:40:40you just see your faces
00:40:55come on guys it's quality engaging content
00:40:59i'm just i'm just kidding
00:41:01here's my real offer
00:41:04we'll think about it
00:41:16but the store's part of the family
00:41:18well think of your grandson
00:41:24college costs money
00:41:25just because your dreams flopped
00:41:28i just mean his shit too
00:41:31let me help you out
00:41:39thanks little dude
00:41:41jackson
00:41:44jackson
00:41:45you shouldn't have done that
00:41:47where have you been
00:41:55uh just looking for glare
00:41:58what did i miss
00:42:00some asshole with a lot of money
00:42:02wants to buy the place
00:42:03but if i sell the place
00:42:05it's like savannah dies all over again
00:42:07oh i found this
00:42:12it's a shrimp fudge recipe
00:42:14isn't that weird
00:42:15give me that
00:42:17give me that
00:42:19burt
00:42:21burt
00:42:24burt
00:42:35i am so sorry
00:42:38i shouldn't have snooped
00:42:39when we were on our honeymoon
00:42:42we went to mexico
00:42:45we had this amazing shrimp mole
00:42:49and savannah got this dream
00:42:54of inventing a new type of fudge
00:42:56shrimp fudge
00:42:59like the shrimp mole we had in mexico
00:43:02but in a fudge
00:43:03we were going to sell it in the store
00:43:07savannah's shrimp fudge
00:43:10but then she died
00:43:12and uh
00:43:15i tried to copy a recipe
00:43:17but it never came out right
00:43:18i failed
00:43:21i think that sounds like a wonderful dream
00:43:25but i'm not sure if shrimp and fudge
00:43:30can go together
00:43:31oh and you don't understand
00:43:35she made it
00:43:36it was
00:43:38delicious
00:43:39like the shrimp mole we had in mexico
00:43:42but in a fudge
00:43:44right
00:43:45even the kids liked it
00:43:46they were getting protein with their fudge
00:43:48but i can't recreate it
00:43:50i just can't
00:43:50and now if i sell the store
00:43:52it's like
00:43:52you have helped me so much
00:43:57i just wish that there was something
00:44:01i could do for you
00:44:02not just listening helped zoe
00:44:08hey um
00:44:10let's not go back to the store
00:44:14let's play hooky
00:44:21you know what
00:44:22what
00:44:23i have always wanted to slide down a firefighter's pole
00:44:26benefits of a small town
00:44:29come on
00:44:31never
00:44:38dance
00:44:39oh
00:44:40blaze
00:44:44thank you
00:44:45no problem
00:44:46you can do strips
00:44:47you'd want it too
00:44:48thank you blaze
00:44:50i have the immune system of like a brown bear
00:45:10what's next in zoe's future
00:45:37i don't know
00:45:41until what you did for me i
00:45:44i didn't even think i had a future
00:45:48uh-uh
00:45:49i didn't do anything it was all you
00:45:52i believe you
00:45:54gotcha
00:46:04turn it on
00:46:08turn it on
00:46:10help help holly help me
00:46:13holly help me
00:46:14i warned you
00:46:17holly help
00:46:17get him out
00:46:20we did it
00:46:37i'd high five you but my fingers are burnt
00:46:42i told you to wear asbestos gloves
00:46:45okay you stay here until the cement is dried
00:46:48and don't forget to say the blessing
00:46:50and what about you
00:46:51i'm leaving
00:46:53my debt is always paid
00:46:54where are you gonna go
00:46:56off the grid
00:46:57maybe asia
00:46:59well how will i reach you
00:47:01you can't
00:47:02holly wait
00:47:05a goodbye hug holly
00:47:18we bless this land
00:47:22and begin by acknowledging that we are on the traditional homeland of the skakogi tribe
00:47:27we consecrate this site as a burial of evil
00:47:37and
00:47:40you can't do that you're going to get arrested
00:47:57your brother's the sheriff i'm not too worried
00:48:00well at least jackson isn't here to see this
00:48:02i'm here
00:48:04i'm look out
00:48:06and you were supposed to warn me if you saw anybody
00:48:08i didn't think dad and zoe counted
00:48:11well let's go home
00:48:14i made apple pie
00:48:15isn't that for christmas eve dinner
00:48:18well i messed it up so i gotta make another one
00:48:21and it's mess up it's better than most people's best
00:48:25race you to the house
00:48:27try to keep up
00:48:49you're gonna let an old lady win
00:48:53oh oh ow
00:48:56what happened
00:48:57it's just a splinter
00:48:59let's see pie
00:49:04burr will you go get the ice cream
00:49:06oh i'll get it dana
00:49:08yeah
00:49:17come here
00:49:22come here dear
00:49:27come on come on in
00:49:30come on
00:49:48want some corn
00:49:50it says it's expired
00:49:52but i don't believe that to you
00:49:55people are never really expired
00:50:00or logs
00:50:04you know about the log
00:50:05well of course i know about the log
00:50:08why else am i sitting in here freezing my tits off
00:50:10are you evil now
00:50:18does this look evil to you
00:50:27you're not dad
00:50:29i have a very important message for you
00:50:31where is it i thought i had it in here
00:50:40no
00:50:43come on
00:50:43come on
00:50:44come on
00:50:45the chair
00:50:47alex
00:50:48alex
00:50:49alex
00:50:49alex
00:50:50alex
00:50:50oh my god
00:50:54oh my god i've missed you so much
00:50:56i've missed you
00:50:57i've missed you more
00:51:00there's just so much i want to tell you
00:51:01you've missed out on so much of life
00:51:03uh baby i i love you
00:51:05yeah
00:51:06it's just it's it's not a great time
00:51:08right now we have to train
00:51:10come on alex come on let's go
00:51:13come on
00:51:15not a great time
00:51:18i'll see you soon
00:51:20let's go come on give me a lot
00:51:23alex
00:51:24i think that message was in my other pants
00:51:31anyway i remember the gist
00:51:34hate
00:51:35is vanquished
00:51:37when love remains
00:51:39or maybe
00:51:41it's
00:51:42hate is
00:51:47something like that
00:51:50that's incredibly generic
00:51:51i thought it was pretty
00:51:57it's getting soft
00:52:07it's getting soft
00:52:12you look so peaceful we didn't want to wake you
00:52:15i wanted to wake you i want ice cream
00:52:21i want to wake you up
00:52:37merry christmas eve zoe
00:52:40merry christmas eve jackson
00:52:42okay bye
00:52:51i can't go into the store today
00:52:55my stomach's all jacked up
00:52:57and i have christmas eve dinner
00:52:59can i help nana
00:53:01yes you can stay out of my way
00:53:03i don't need your big city ways burning my casseroles
00:53:07well you know we have casseroles in the big city right
00:53:10go open the store with jackson
00:53:12bird had to run an errand
00:53:15okay come on buddy
00:53:28i don't remember eating salad
00:53:29is that for me
00:53:40open it
00:53:41well shouldn't i wait for christmas
00:53:43no you should open it now
00:53:45it'll make sense when you open it
00:53:51i know you like coral
00:53:53jackson this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me
00:53:57what's that
00:54:14it's the second page to your mom's shrimp fudge recipe
00:54:17no wonder your dad couldn't replicate it there was a page missing
00:54:21can we make it this would be the best christmas present for dad ever
00:54:25please zoe please
00:54:29okay we're going to the market
00:54:44here it is moment of truth
00:55:06i'm going to go to the shop
00:55:15holy fudge that is good
00:55:17fudging a
00:55:19okay let's close up shop get back to the house
00:55:21your aunts and uncles will be home soon
00:55:24they're gonna love this mother fudger
00:55:26that's enough of the fudge jokes
00:55:29can you grab the ornament j-man
00:55:30that's weird
00:55:49zoe
00:55:50jakester
00:55:51why don't you pick up your phone
00:55:53the car sticks the road is clear let's go we can go
00:55:56i i i have plans
00:56:01i made fudge
00:56:02fudge but the yule log festival is tonight surely you want to get far away from that i know you
00:56:08look i don't i don't know what i think anymore and don't you want me to like it here
00:56:13don't you have plans with tanner
00:56:15we had a fight the relationship has gotten stale
00:56:18stale it's been three days i just want to get out of here okay
00:56:22okay look we we gotta go just make it up with hannah
00:56:26what so we gotta go come on jackson
00:56:29who is jackson
00:56:36i always carry my baguettes i wasn't watching where i was going and
00:56:39i am francois you are
00:56:44jakester but i think i twisted my ankle francois can you help me
00:56:49i was wondering where you guys were oh what do you got there oh it's a surprise and where were you
00:57:06you know how nana's always wanting to be famous yeah she won't stop talking about it
00:57:11i got her a billboard no way the works yeah i'll worry about paying for it later come on let's
00:57:17meet the family hey everyone hey this is zoe oh hi zoe zoe this is chris for christmas card
00:57:24and short for anniversary that's val for valentine's day her husband joe and sim for sympathy card
00:57:30and now i have sympathy for the world ah he's the baby so all the good names were taken
00:57:35oh right okay guys let's go set the table for mom her stomach is acting up
00:57:42i'm fine it's butterflies is all you'd mess it up anyway just let me put down my
00:57:49axe oh my god all right no burt i left my axe at the store uh zoe i uh i'll go get it no no no no
00:57:59it's okay we're we're um we're about to have dinner you sure i don't mind yeah this is actually the
00:58:07first time in forever i haven't even thought about the axe this is the best christmas present ever
00:58:13i could kiss you i could kiss you i'm not stopping you
00:58:23get in the room chris come on
00:58:37buckle in for our cards family christmas okay
00:58:39good go ahead jackson
00:58:47bless this food for the nourishment of our bodies and bless this family and bless zoe amen
00:58:56wait don't eat we have a surprise let's go
00:59:01okay early christmas present i hope so
00:59:10what is it it is
00:59:15it's shrimp fudge someone found the recipe there was a second peach
00:59:18i hope that you are not mad
00:59:28mad
00:59:30oh jackson zoe you you've made me so happy
00:59:34so happy oh it looks gosh it looks incredible
00:59:52oh oh excuse me i'm excuse me it's just butterflies
00:59:56i see she's having a she's having a you know i'm a stroke
01:00:03not on the food
01:00:07nana point your head away from the team
01:00:08somebody call 911
01:00:13she keeps vomiting right on the food stop talking about the damn food
01:00:17she's choking i'll give her the heimlich i'm training this you thought it was a stroke
01:00:24get it out get it out get it out nana you're gonna be okay
01:00:29mom thank god you're gonna be fine nana
01:00:32oh
01:00:42oh god bro
01:00:45oh my god
01:00:46oh
01:00:46oh my one one
01:00:51okay
01:00:51okay
01:00:52okay
01:00:54bro
01:00:56man i want
01:00:56All right, we'll get in there.
01:01:03We'll get in there.
01:01:26We'll get in there.
01:01:56We'll get in there.
01:02:26We'll get in there.
01:02:28Help me!
01:02:33Zoe, I'm scared!
01:02:38Dad told me the same side, but I'm afraid they're going to hurt Nana.
01:02:42I think she's bad, but I just think she's turned into a superhero.
01:02:54She just killed Uncle Simp because she didn't know her powers yet.
01:02:57You should listen to your father, sweetie.
01:03:01Jackson!
01:03:03Jackson!
01:03:04Jackson!
01:03:06Jackson!
01:03:08This is just immature.
01:03:12Immature?
01:03:13I bet I know who did it.
01:03:16I see debris.
01:03:17I told you to clear this yard.
01:03:19It has to show.
01:03:20Alejandro, do you have beans for brains?
01:03:23Oh, my goodness.
01:03:24Oh, my goodness.
01:03:25What the hell?
01:03:27You were a bitch in high school.
01:03:39And you are a bitch now.
01:03:40Oh, my goodness.
01:03:41Look at everyone.
01:03:42You look beautiful.
01:03:43Oh, my goodness.
01:03:44It is time for the Yule Log Festival to officially begin.
01:03:59Oh, my goodness.
01:04:04Look at everyone.
01:04:06You look beautiful.
01:04:08It is time for the Yule Log Festival to officially begin!
01:04:15And, and, and everyone, whoever gets the most views on their video using my ornaments is going to get $10,000!
01:04:26Have fun, everyone! Be more!
01:04:30Jackson!
01:04:33Jackson!
01:04:34Joey!
01:04:35Joey!
01:04:35Jackson's in the house. Is everything okay?
01:04:39No, Jackson went looking for Nana. He thinks she's some sort of superhero.
01:04:43Fuck.
01:04:43Hey, don't shoot unless I were. Jackson might be with us.
01:04:46I'm so sorry. I'm cursed. I brought, I brought it here.
01:04:49You are not cursed, Joey.
01:04:50I am.
01:04:51This isn't your fault. We need to, we need to fan out.
01:04:54No, no, no. That's what it wants. It wants to isolate us and kill us one by one. We have to stick together, and I need my axe.
01:04:58Listen to Joey. She's dealt with this before.
01:05:02Found it! Found it!
01:05:04Take your shot.
01:05:05No! No!
01:05:09Jackson!
01:05:09No!
01:05:10I told you to stay at home!
01:05:11You tried to shoot Nana!
01:05:13It wasn't Nana. That, it might have been her body, but her soul is long gone.
01:05:18Trust me.
01:05:19It ran off.
01:05:21But where?
01:05:23It needs all for trauma and murder. It needs people.
01:05:26It's going straight to it. It needs all.
01:05:27It needs all.
01:05:28For some...
01:05:29But I'll see you now as a bee школa.
01:05:30You could help her the whole mind.
01:05:30It moves you in the office?
01:05:31By it on the floor with you.
01:05:35When we've been on this farm, it needs to go past your chase for the whole time window.
01:05:48Is that evil?
01:05:48I'll be cool.
01:05:49It's all nice.
01:05:50It's too little upside down.
01:05:50He's alot.
01:05:51Yo, what's going on?
01:06:15Chab here with my boy at the U-Lot Festival, and I've got the ornament, baby.
01:06:19I'm wearing that 10K.
01:06:21I wonder if I can smash this mornum on my head.
01:06:23Chab, what do you think, huh?
01:06:25You dare me?
01:06:26All right, ready?
01:06:27One, two...
01:06:29Here are three ways my redneck husband hangs his ornaments wrong.
01:06:37And this is brought to you by Mornaments, who were generous enough to fly us out here.
01:06:42Number one.
01:06:48I just love my new pendant.
01:06:51Quick question.
01:06:55What color was my dress?
01:06:57Answer, it's yellow.
01:06:58No!
01:06:59No!
01:06:59No!
01:07:00No!
01:07:01No!
01:07:01No!
01:07:02No!
01:07:02No!
01:07:03No!
01:07:04No!
01:07:05No!
01:07:06No!
01:07:07No!
01:07:08No!
01:07:09No!
01:07:10No!
01:07:11My mornaments!
01:07:15baby that's one way to get views oh here we go oh all right yeah sir we have a
01:07:25situation we have to evacuate now what wait what's happening no come on my
01:07:30morning man sir we have to go my god it's possessing nether your logs
01:07:43or you to fire in any flying log where you have a clear shot you heard me
01:07:51I'm sorry Bert Joey I don't want to hear it you defeated this thing once you can do it again
01:07:56I believe in you god how more the you know we're getting a cat out of a tree type small town sheriff
01:08:03this is supposed to be a cushy job workers just blaze a fat one blaze that's it the fire department
01:08:12water axes that's what we need holy shit we need the fire department at the yule log festival
01:08:17going to a private channel dina this shit's about to sound weird oh shit shit shit did I get that
01:08:24oh shit I didn't get it oh shit hey revolutionaries we're hiding at what some are calling the yule
01:08:34block massacre so now wait sir quiet oh shit there's a city not setting I can dim it god damn it
01:08:42oh shit yeah uh huh uh uh uh uh oh shit yeah uh uh oh shit hey bro
01:08:53oh shit bro
01:08:59ho nerd
01:09:01roger
01:09:03are
01:09:05fuck
01:09:05Okay, but revolutionaries, I'm about to disrupt the evil Yulog.
01:09:15Hurry up.
01:09:25Oh no.
01:09:27Oh no.
01:09:29No.
01:09:30Oh no.
01:09:31Oh no.
01:09:33No.
01:09:34No.
01:09:35No.
01:09:36No.
01:09:37No.
01:09:38No.
01:09:39No.
01:09:40No.
01:09:41Oh no.
01:09:42No.
01:09:43No.
01:09:44Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:09:46Help!
01:09:47Help!
01:09:48Hey, please, someone, it's Bauergard, I'm rich, please, I'll pay you!
01:09:54Zoe!
01:09:55Take her, not me.
01:10:03Oh, Zoe!
01:10:04I always knew you were my Yulog queen.
01:10:06Take her, not me.
01:10:08Let's talk to the firemen to save you first.
01:10:11Who knew that our second date would be so action-packed?
01:10:15Second date?
01:10:16What regards the guy you went on a date with?
01:10:17Burt, it's not what you think.
01:10:18I meant to tell you.
01:10:19It's okay.
01:10:20It's...
01:10:21It's your life.
01:10:22Burt!
01:10:23Guys?
01:10:24Uh, guys!
01:10:25You're aiming it too high!
01:10:26You gotta aim it for the center of the long!
01:10:27I know how to aim a hoe.
01:10:28Shh.
01:10:29Burt?
01:10:30It's okay, Zoe, it's your choice.
01:10:32I'm not sure what you're aiming for.
01:10:33It's a guy I went on a date with?
01:10:34Burt, it's not what you think.
01:10:35I meant to tell you.
01:10:36It's okay.
01:10:37It's...
01:10:38It's your life.
01:10:39Burt!
01:10:40Burt!
01:10:41Burt!
01:10:42Burt!
01:10:43Burt!
01:10:44Burt!
01:10:45Burt!
01:10:46Burt!
01:10:47Burt!
01:10:48Burt!
01:10:49Burt!
01:10:50Burt!
01:10:51Burt!
01:10:52Burt!
01:10:53Burt!
01:10:54Zoe, it's your choice.
01:10:55Guys!
01:10:56Guys!
01:10:57Beauregard, you win.
01:10:58I know when I'm beat.
01:10:59I don't think anyone's winning.
01:11:00The logs, they're lighting back up after you blast them.
01:11:02It's not working!
01:11:03Wait, what?
01:11:04He's right.
01:11:05They just keep coming back after we blast them.
01:11:07Any more ideas, Zoe?
01:11:08Maybe if you kill the leader, the logs will die?
01:11:10It does seem like a common trap in movies.
01:11:12Point the hose at Nana!
01:11:18We got her on the run!
01:11:24Nana never ran that fast.
01:11:27I think we lost it.
01:11:28She could be anywhere.
01:11:29It's weakened.
01:11:30It needs another kill.
01:11:31It's weakened.
01:11:32It needs another kill.
01:12:01It needs another kill.
01:12:02It needs another kill.
01:12:03Hello?
01:12:04Hello?
01:12:05Hello?
01:12:14Nana!
01:12:23You must be hungry.
01:12:24We have food.
01:12:26Or do you prefer fertilizer?
01:12:30Did you know fertilizer is poop?
01:12:32I guess you would poop now.
01:12:41No!
01:12:42I'm your grandson!
01:12:43Grandson!
01:12:44Don't be scared.
01:12:45You're just learning your powers.
01:12:46You probably got scratched by a radioactive branch.
01:12:49Nana!
01:12:50You're hurting me!
01:12:51Remember, you love Super Street!
01:12:53No, Nana!
01:12:54No, Nana!
01:12:55Wait!
01:12:56I don't want...
01:13:04Back off, you splittery bitch!
01:13:08Go hide, son.
01:13:09This is about to get messy.
01:13:24Oh, Christmas tree.
01:13:25Oh, Christmas tree.
01:13:27Oh, Christmas tree.
01:13:28How lovely are your branches.
01:13:31Your boughs so green in summertime.
01:13:33Stay bravely green in wintertime.
01:13:37Your bough's so green in summertime.
01:13:43Stay bravely green in wintertime.
01:13:50Oh, Christmas tree.
01:13:53Oh, Christmas tree.
01:13:57How lovely are your brown.
01:14:07It's safe now, Jackson.
01:14:13Jackson?
01:14:20It's okay.
01:14:22She's gone.
01:14:24But I didn't want her to be gone.
01:14:27I know, but that wasn't Nana.
01:14:32Nana lives on in her arms.
01:14:37Oh, my God.
01:14:49Oh, my God.
01:14:55Oh, my God.
01:14:58Oh, my God.
01:15:04Are you fucking kidding me?
01:15:15Language.
01:15:18Our axes!
01:15:34Let's go.
01:16:04Hate is vanquished when love remains.
01:16:12I love you.
01:16:17What?
01:16:20A dream I had.
01:16:21Hate vanquished when love remains or something like that.
01:16:25Or something like that.
01:16:34I guess now is as good a time as anything to say I love you, son.
01:16:44I love you, too, Zoe.
01:16:47I love you, too, Bert.
01:16:50I'm not sure if it's romantic since we just met, and I'm still in mourning.
01:16:54I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Blowergarn.
01:16:57Not even on my mind right now.
01:16:59I love you, too, Jackson.
01:17:00It's the ashes.
01:17:19It's love's remains.
01:17:21Hate is vanquished with love's remains.
01:17:26Hate is vanquished with love's remains.
01:17:26I love you, too.
01:17:56I'm Blaise, by the way.
01:18:06I'm Blaise, by the way.
01:18:09Abigail?
01:18:10Abigail?
01:18:10Abigail?
01:18:10Oh, my God.
01:18:40Zoe.
01:18:54Bert.
01:18:57This isn't an easy letter to write.
01:19:01I've decided to leave.
01:19:03By now, it should be clear I am cursed.
01:19:13And the best thing for the people I love
01:19:15is to be far away from them.
01:19:18She stole my car.
01:19:20Don't try to find me.
01:19:23But please,
01:19:24always remember me
01:19:26as I will remember you.
01:19:31Zoe.
01:19:31Zoe.
01:19:54That's it?
01:19:56You're just going to run away?
01:20:00You could have just, uh,
01:20:01dumped the ashes on the log monster
01:20:02instead of all that secret code shit.
01:20:06Hey!
01:20:07Hey!
01:20:07Hey!
01:20:07Hey!
01:20:07Hey!
01:20:07Hey!
01:20:07Hey!
01:20:08Hey!
01:20:08Hey!
01:20:10Hey!
01:20:11Hey!
01:20:12Hey!
01:20:13Hey!
01:20:14Hey!
01:20:15Hey!
01:20:16Hey!
01:20:17Hey!
01:20:18Hey!
01:20:19Hey!
01:20:20Hey!
01:20:21Hey!
01:20:22Hey!
01:20:23Hey!
01:20:24Hey!
01:20:25Hey!
01:20:26I'm sorry we didn't have much of a Christmas
01:20:27this year, Jackson.
01:20:29I just wish Nana was here.
01:20:31And Sam.
01:20:32And Zoe.
01:20:37Hey, I want you to know something.
01:20:39Your mom helped save the day.
01:20:43I just want you to know that.
01:20:45I know.
01:20:46And maybe Nana will get to be famous.
01:20:49In heaven.
01:20:51Maybe.
01:20:55Oh, shit.
01:21:01Oh, my God.
01:21:02Is this Savannah's Christmas ornament store?
01:21:04That's us.
01:21:05Welcome in.
01:21:05Oh, my God!
01:21:10And your mother was the monster behind the U-Log massacre
01:21:13of mistletoe?
01:21:15My mother was a lot of things.
01:21:16She was a beautiful singer, a mean cribbage player.
01:21:20I prefer not to dwell on the negatives.
01:21:23Are these the ornaments she actually touched?
01:21:26She made a lot of them.
01:21:27She made them?
01:21:28Can we buy the ornaments she made?
01:21:29I'll pay you $50 each if you sign them.
01:21:31OK.
01:21:32What's going on here?
01:21:34Dude, your mom's famous.
01:21:37Do you have souvenir t-shirts?
01:21:38Huh?
01:21:53I was never one for public speaking, but here goes.
01:21:55I want to thank you all for being here to celebrate our store
01:22:01being saved.
01:22:02And I hope you all enjoy some shrimp fudge.
01:22:05Cheers.
01:22:07I've got to get this recipe because it is deliciously disruptive.
01:22:11Absolutely not.
01:22:13And I also hope that you all can...
01:22:19Zoe.
01:22:22You came back.
01:22:23I guess I wanted to live in a Hallmark movie after all.
01:22:30You know, since you came into my life,
01:22:34I've become quite the ax man.
01:22:39Get a room.
01:22:42Now, everyone, it is time to officially present to all of you,
01:22:47for the very first time,
01:22:48our commemorative plaque honoring all those lives lost
01:22:52at the Yule Log Massacre of Mistletoe.
01:23:02Tatiana, what are you doing here?
01:23:05Tatiana, this is Burt.
01:23:07Burt, this is my former boss, Tatiana.
01:23:09And I hope to be your boss again.
01:23:11Can we rehire you?
01:23:12What?
01:23:13It's that shrimp fudge.
01:23:15We don't know how, but it brings the coral back to life.
01:23:18But how did you even...
01:23:20I called her.
01:23:21Jackson, you little mother fudger.
01:23:26And yes, you can work remotely.
01:23:28If I lived in this cute town,
01:23:31I would never want to leave.
01:23:33Did you say coral reefs?
01:23:34I love coral reefs.
01:23:36Can I give to your charity?
01:23:38I'm rich.
01:23:40Absolutely.
01:23:43Oh, you like that deep beat?
01:23:45Um, if you'll excuse me,
01:23:48I have some, um, business to discuss.
01:23:51Oh, one last thing.
01:23:53I swear, one last thing.
01:23:54Today only, we are offering 20% off our shirts.
01:23:59I survived the Yule Log Mistletoe Massacre.
01:24:03You know Nana would have loved that.
01:24:06Yeah.
01:24:07It's true.
01:24:08I'm famous.
01:24:09And look, I'm dating a celebrity.
01:24:13Ha ha.
01:24:14This is all so wonderful.
01:24:22There's just one problem.
01:24:25What is it?
01:24:27What is it?
01:24:31Mistletoe.
01:24:35I don't consider that a problem.
01:24:37Don't worry, Nana Gru.
01:24:52I'll take care of you.
01:24:54I can heal you.
01:24:56I don't.
01:24:57Noem.
01:24:58Noem.
01:24:59Noem.
01:25:00Noem.
01:25:01You don't have to...
01:25:04Noem.
01:25:05Noem.
01:25:06Noem.
01:25:07Noem.
01:25:12Noem.
01:25:13Christmas, Christmas, Christmas
01:25:29Christmas, Christmas
01:25:43Christmas, Christmas, Christmas
01:25:59Christmas, Christmas, Christmas
01:26:03Christmas