teenager desperate for a girlfriend creates himself a virtual one with an app but what could go wrong ?
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:30I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:33I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:36I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:39I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:42I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:45I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:48I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:51I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:54I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:57I don't know what you're talking about.
00:01:00I don't know what you're talking about.
00:01:03I don't know what you're talking about.
00:01:06I don't know what you're talking about.
00:01:09I don't know what you're talking about.
00:01:12I don't know what you're talking about.
00:01:15I don't know what you're talking about.
00:01:18I don't know what you're talking about.
00:01:21I don't know what you're talking about.
00:01:24I don't know what you're talking about.
00:01:27I don't know what you're talking about.
00:01:30I don't know what you're talking about.
00:01:33I don't know what you're talking about.
00:01:36I don't know what you're talking about.
00:01:39I don't know what you're talking about.
00:01:42I don't know what you're talking about.
00:01:45I don't know what you're talking about.
00:01:48I don't know what you're talking about.
00:01:52This is such a noble thought.
00:01:55Who the hell is Charles?
00:01:58I like to think I created a certain standard for this group
00:02:01that you just no longer live up to.
00:02:04And so, Simon, you're out of FMSDA..
00:02:07I'm gonna need your jump-dry in your computer-lab keycard bag.
00:02:10I'm prepared to hear you defend yourself
00:02:13and make me understand why you deserve to stay in FMSDA.
00:02:18Oh
00:02:30Compelling
00:02:39Best thing ever happened to you, man
00:02:41Would you just shut your mouth?
00:02:42Every time you open your mouth, you just make things worse. We're gonna kick this school's ass this year, man. Oh, man
00:02:49Oh, oh
00:03:03It's Desiree I
00:03:07Can not understand what she sees in that douchebag
00:03:12I
00:03:26Honey I know what I'm doing
00:03:29Obviously don't anyone who comes to the door can see inside the house now the TV part supposed to go on the inside the TV
00:03:35Part would you listen to yourself if the monitor is on the inside of the house?
00:03:38Then how's anybody gonna know that we have a video intercom?
00:03:41Why does anyone have to know that we have a video in because if I'm gonna spend five hundred and thirty seven dollars and fifty
00:03:48one cents on something I
00:03:50Don't want to have to hide it from my neighbors. I can't
00:03:53Oh, you know, I can't complain so how's school going school hasn't started yet
00:04:14Just keep it up
00:04:23You know, I heard I'm not even gonna go from this summer
00:04:44Yeah, I know
00:04:46Wait, I'm in the squirrely little Indian kid from your iPhone club thingy
00:04:51Okay, first of all, that's racist I don't see how that's racist he's from India and he's a squirrely looking fella
00:04:57Yeah
00:05:20I hate to break it to you
00:05:50I
00:06:20Know
00:06:50I
00:07:20Believe
00:07:50I
00:08:20Believe
00:08:51About your GS
00:08:53Yeah, I did we haven't even told me the party I saw it on Facebook everybody saw it on Facebook
00:08:58No, our girls. They just had to go tell everybody, you know
00:09:02Yeah, they're really into it
00:09:05So, where are they? Oh, that's right that college girls, right? Mm-hmm. Totally. So why don't you miss them yesterday?
00:09:11Well, cuz you were being yesterday. What college they go to stay. Where's you mean?
00:09:14I would bounce first time I heard of extreme wilderness adventure
00:09:16Allowed to use technology once per week to call it right next time Stacy. Well, there's probably
00:09:21North
00:09:23Keeping the cash. How far have you gotten with a gentleman? Never? Okay, we're boning like rabbits, but like really happens
00:09:29to what
00:09:35Looky here call me right now the old ball and chain. Nice. See you later, dude
00:09:47Working on the emotion of his protagonist in this work
00:09:52Remembering class that the protagonist is the main character
00:09:58The protagonist faces almost a force of agony that has befallen him
00:10:08I wanted you to stay in and be on recipe
00:10:10That's okay. It's really not that big a deal. It is to me. I actually wanted to win something this year
00:10:16But what do you gone? That's pretty much out the window
00:10:20something
00:10:22That you just don't like about yourself
00:10:26well, I
00:10:27Have can any of you guess what mine is?
00:10:34It's my pinky toe I can't move it
00:10:46I
00:11:16I
00:11:46I
00:12:16I
00:12:23Hey, hey, what's up?
00:12:29Who are you texting?
00:12:31my girlfriend
00:12:35Why oh
00:12:37Nothing. I was just thinking
00:12:40nothing
00:12:42thinking what
00:12:45Let's talk after class
00:12:50Yeah, yeah, yeah
00:13:14I
00:13:38Thought you were different
00:13:44I
00:13:53Bro and Lily got the ones that you wrote. That's some sick stuff, man. I know seriously
00:13:59Now give me your phone. I want to change it. Oh, no way. No, that's just worked on Desiree
00:14:02Did you want to meet me after class? I gotta go
00:14:14My bad, mr. Crowley
00:14:44I
00:15:14I
00:15:44I
00:16:14Can respond to define the parameters of what we perceive as human emotion that just a few simple responses I can feed it information
00:16:35It's not just a random generators
00:16:44I
00:17:14I
00:17:44I
00:18:14I
00:18:44I
00:19:14I
00:19:44I
00:20:14I
00:20:44I
00:21:14I
00:21:44I
00:22:14I
00:22:44I
00:23:14I
00:23:44I
00:24:14Oh
00:24:37Don't get so Friday
00:24:44I need it by Friday night. So bring it to my party and bring your little girlfriend, too
00:24:49I hear she's in college. I totally get off on the idea of the first college girl go balls deep is stolen from you
00:24:55Hey
00:24:58Like I give a shit I got girls waiting to blow me let that geek carry your purse for a few days
00:25:03You know break anyways, but if you touch this her I'll split both your nutsacks in half. You got that badge
00:25:11How can I have a nutsack if I'm a badge
00:25:14I
00:25:17Jell on
00:25:26Friday
00:25:44Okay
00:25:48So now we're in agreement here Cindy's off the squad which is perfect because I mean look at her reputation now
00:25:53We just can't have the whole squad brought down by it. All right, I know so
00:25:58Shopping. I'll get her makeup all in place and
00:26:02Anyway, what I'm thinking what?
00:26:06You know what, why don't we just finish up this conversation tomorrow? All right
00:26:15I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out or something. I know what she want
00:26:22You want to kiss me
00:26:32Yeah, sure
00:26:36I don't care. I have an idea. How about this? Why don't you come over to my place tonight and
00:26:44Help me with my homework and then afterwards
00:26:48Who knows?
00:26:50Maybe you'll get lucky
00:26:54Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got plans but I can cancel
00:27:10Down boy
00:27:14I
00:27:44Don't know
00:28:14I
00:28:44I
00:29:14I
00:29:44I
00:30:14I
00:30:44You
00:31:15You
00:31:25Okay, I think I'm finished Desiree I'm finished
00:31:34Did you do the differentials part? Yes, I did. Okay, cuz that's what's due tomorrow. Oh, well I did
00:31:44So
00:31:50So
00:31:52What? Well, I didn't you know, I did your homework for you and we have that conversation earlier. It was great conversation
00:32:00I loved it
00:32:04So cute, um, it's you said something about them
00:32:10Get getting lucky
00:32:14Oh
00:32:17Well, don't you have a girlfriend oh boy she uh, she um, we have a
00:32:23Understanding what kind of understanding? Well, you know, she's a
00:32:26She's a college girl. And so she's
00:32:29super open-minded
00:32:33We we can see other people, you know, it's not a big deal no
00:32:37No, I'm not okay with that. If you want anything to happen here tonight with me, you have to end it with her
00:32:43Okay
00:32:46Well, what would you want now right now yes
00:32:50Now it's gonna be a long conversation, you know, and it's gonna take it
00:33:01Now, okay. Yeah. Okay. I could do it now. That's fun. Oh
00:33:08And I
00:33:10Want all those Facebook photos of you two gone?
00:33:14Yeah, okay. I'll just attack myself. No, I want them gone
00:33:20No
00:33:22Do it here
00:33:24How necessarily think that's right. I mean, you know, I mean a lot to her. I should play her down easy, you know
00:33:33But just so you know you better do it quickly because I'm not gonna wait here. Yeah. Yeah
00:33:43Shoes
00:34:13I need your laptop
00:34:24Yeah, Desiree wants to bone tonight and I gotta be a free man beforehand
00:34:33Why is the keyboard sticky
00:34:37Yeah, you know
00:34:40Oh
00:34:57Take your laptop, dude
00:35:10Okay, dear
00:35:14Assignment
00:35:16Borrowing your laptop bring back to school tomorrow
00:35:23Love and kisses
00:35:39You
00:36:09You
00:36:39You
00:37:09You
00:37:39You
00:38:09You
00:38:39I
00:39:09I
00:39:29Never thought that red bonds would be so delicious. I know right so bad for you, but I don't even care
00:39:39I
00:40:03Guess it just needed time to juice up I guess
00:40:09I
00:40:39Real you know what?
00:41:09You
00:41:39You
00:42:07Damn
00:42:09Simon's like Rain Man with his shit
00:42:16What is this sex drive at 15% Simon you're such a
00:42:24She's gonna need more emotion than that she's not a robot
00:42:29Maybe a little strength to maybe she'll be bash his ass for us
00:42:33I
00:43:03Don't
00:43:25Your friend Peg broke up with Stacy last night
00:43:27So you're gonna do that with me what what break up with me person soon as she starts showing a little intro
00:43:34No, it's totally different
00:43:36Stacy's just someone that peg made up doesn't raise a real girl. So
00:43:45Yeah, but you're real now
00:43:57Stacey was just a Facebook page besides excited crush on Desiree for like
00:44:08A little interest in you you're just gonna leave me for her
00:44:19When I am feeling marginalized by my man
00:44:22I just need to take a deep breath and step back and count the ways in which I
00:44:28I won't let you steal my power. You just don't use that word
00:44:35Apologize
00:44:43Do you love me so much and you promise you will never ever leave me for some stupid
00:44:50No, no, no, no, ma'am
00:44:54Can you stay with me today, it's just too early for you to leave me I have to go
00:45:00If I miss more than one class, they call my parents
00:45:12Simon has a fever today, and we wouldn't want him giving it to anyone else
00:45:17Thank you so much. I'll tell him okay
00:45:21Oh
00:45:28My god, you're the perfect woman
00:45:31Oh
00:45:45Gee what did you do?
00:45:47Tried to call security on me. So I just took out my credit card and I paid for it staring her down the whole time
00:45:53Smiling. I mean, what was she gonna do?
00:46:01I
00:46:31Girl obviously doesn't want to talk to you. So why don't you just
00:46:37Babe I'm done with the whole bulge. I'll receive this totally
00:46:47Okay, you're dismissed we're done here you can go now
00:46:56Go away
00:47:01Is that silence, yeah, let's go
00:47:31Oh
00:48:01I
00:48:31I
00:48:51Know I locked it. Why would you do that? It's just better this way
00:48:58I
00:48:59What's better? What way?
00:49:02Did you know that?
00:49:0499.7% of all relationships starting in high school end. I can't have you leaving and with the odds overwhelmingly against us
00:49:10I just want us to stay together
00:49:16So you just want to keep me locked up in my house
00:49:21You say like that you make it sound so bad
00:49:24Okay, sweetheart, I know this is all new to you, but I have to be able to eat and drink
00:49:35This is just silly
00:49:41Like your pervy little friend
00:49:43I
00:50:13Just I'm just so afraid without you, I don't know what I did
00:50:43I
00:51:13I
00:51:43I'm gonna go downstairs and clean up
00:52:13I
00:52:43I
00:53:13I
00:53:43I
00:54:13I
00:54:44Look will you stop playing around on Facebook and come talk to me?
00:54:50Hey man at work
00:54:53Don't bathe me get over here me too, babe
00:55:03You know, I'm not coming to your party tonight
00:55:08And I was going to make cupcakes
00:55:14Desiree
00:55:19What kind of cupcakes
00:55:22Strawberry
00:55:24Those are my favorite. Well, I know that's silly
00:55:31Simon was that you?
00:55:37You crafty little devil, how did you slip those handcuffs?
00:55:41Simon?
00:55:43Simon?
00:55:45Simon?
00:55:47Oh you poor thing you're hurt
00:56:11I'm just gonna walk from here
00:56:41Who is it?
00:56:43Simon let me in man
00:56:48So just let me talk for a minute and I can explain everything
00:56:53Look I'm sorry, man. I
00:56:55got caught up
00:56:57you know being popular and
00:57:00You know having Desiree be so
00:57:03Into me, you know
00:57:05she was
00:57:06Really into me
00:57:08But you know what I I decided to leave that and come here for you man
00:57:15Simon
00:57:18Simon
00:57:27You see right through me don't you best buds always do she done me man
00:57:35Month-old cheese
00:57:39Like I wasn't even a real person, you know like all those hot steamy passion-filled nights
00:57:49It's like I meant nothing to her like it didn't even happen
00:58:00All right full disclosure
00:58:02All right full disclosure that thing I just said it was a lot thing about the passion-filled nights never happened
00:58:10But you're gonna bet your ass that i'm gonna tell everybody that dude, I don't care what bash does to me
00:58:19Okay, that thing I just said was a lie I absolutely care what bash does to me I'm sorry I bailed on you
00:58:25When you needed me most I just I oh
00:58:28Oh
00:58:53No, seriously, who is it? Oh damn
00:58:59Ma'am we're minors. Okay. Uh, so whatever money he owes you, uh, we can probably pay back just goddamn hookers are strong
00:59:08It's lily for real now stop pulling on me. Oh my god
00:59:20Don't leave
00:59:28Oh
00:59:33Updating updating updating updating
00:59:50Look at this shit emotions 21 percent strength 80. What the hell does this mean?
00:59:57Baby what are you doing? People are downstairs waiting for you. Just just go downstairs. I'll be there in a second
01:00:05Oh
01:00:07sex drive 91 percent
01:00:09Simon you dirty little vag
01:00:12Why do you keep using that word?
01:00:14I don't think it means what you think of me quit breaking my balls. Just go downstairs
01:00:19Updating updating updating updating
01:00:23updating
01:00:25updating
01:00:27Wtf man
01:00:29How is she real or whatever?
01:00:33One minute she was an iphone app and the next she was right there in front of you. Oh my god, this is crazy
01:00:38This is crazy. This is crazy
01:00:40updating updating
01:00:42Updating updating updating
01:00:44Updating updating updating
01:00:46Updating updating
01:00:48Updating
01:00:54What do we do
01:00:56We've got to get out of here
01:00:57Where do we go?
01:00:59I have to get my laptop. Yeah
01:01:02Here's the thing about your laptop. Um
01:01:06Bash girl stole it
01:01:08You have got to be shitting me
01:01:12We've got to go to bashes, oh fuck that no, let's go to my house let's hide out
01:01:17No
01:01:19We've got to go to bashes
01:01:21I've screwed all of this up
01:01:25And now i've got to fix it
01:01:46So
01:01:48So
01:02:15This evening's entertainment
01:02:18So we all know our little friend simon and his
01:02:21He's open
01:02:22But what y'all don't know
01:02:25Is that he created this chick out of thin air
01:02:27Are these photos?
01:02:29Are photos not?
01:02:32Well, let me show you some pictures that weren't photoshopped
01:02:48So
01:03:18Oh
01:03:20Okay, okay. Okay. I'm freaking out. I'm done. I'm done. Why is she so psycho? I don't know
01:03:26Everything's been great
01:03:29Really great
01:03:31Although yesterday was awesome, you know, wait, did you bang that thing?
01:03:41Yes
01:03:48So
01:04:18Foreign
01:04:20Foreign
01:04:46Oh, okay
01:04:48What are we supposed to do killer?
01:04:52No, man, i'm gonna fix her she's in my laptop
01:05:18So
01:05:48So
01:06:10Updating
01:06:19So
01:06:28Give me my laptop. Yeah game is laptop, dude. What are you gonna do if I don't badge?
01:06:35Man you don't understand I need that laptop. Well, come get it
01:06:48So
01:07:10What do you want you're the tram that wrecks my best friend's relationship
01:07:19Oh
01:07:22So
01:07:47Told you how to go balls deep in your girlfriend
01:07:51So
01:07:55Updating updating updating fucking way
01:08:01I can't believe you did that. That's just your shoulder. I'm pretty sure if you clean up this
01:08:16Give me my laptop
01:08:21Updating
01:08:23I'll need it anyways
01:08:27Bash what have you done? God, there's so much hotter person. This is why she's been acting so crazy
01:08:35Her strength her emotion her sex drive seriously
01:08:40These are all way too high
01:08:44Oh shit you changed her relationship status just one more thing you're gonna lose the mean badge
01:08:49Oh gosh, you don't understand she's in a relationship with you
01:09:04Don't use that
01:09:20So
01:09:42Well, I did not what did we do
01:09:45Do we call 911? No. Hell no. We're not gonna do that. We're gonna do what teenagers always do in a situation like this
01:10:05So what happened back there
01:10:15Tell me lady
01:10:33Okay guys, so the next project we're going to be working on this year it's called stand space
01:10:41Yes. Yes. I know you guys are all very excited
01:10:44The basic premise is
01:10:47I'll wake up every morning and take a new picture
01:10:51of my face
01:10:56Dude that chick was so hot you and simon with college chicks epic, bro, dude, that's called evidence, son
01:11:04Hey
01:11:06How's your shoulder baby, uh, you know, I feel about that word sweetheart
01:11:13So
01:11:37Jeez
01:11:43So
01:11:53Don't look at me
01:12:14Who was like it
01:12:37Take one
01:12:43Is
01:13:13We're gross
01:13:32Okay
01:13:43What about
01:13:47You can bet your ass i'm gonna tell everybody that they did
01:14:14Is
01:14:17Oh my god, I totally get off
01:14:43Scene a 71
01:15:13Is
01:15:27Is
01:15:43I was actually
01:15:59No one's laughing
01:16:13Is
01:16:22That's 57
01:16:34Acting
01:16:43Oh
01:17:05Being popular
01:17:13Is
01:17:19Uranus
01:17:43So
01:18:13So
01:18:43So
01:19:13So
01:19:43So
01:20:00So
01:20:13So
01:20:43So
01:21:13You
01:21:43You