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Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Senior year, the culmination of all my careful planning.
00:05Perfect grades, the model boyfriend,
00:07it's all falling into place.
00:10Hey, Jake.
00:12What'd you want to talk about?
00:14We need to break up.
00:16What?
00:17Come on, Claire.
00:18Things haven't been working out for a while.
00:20But everything was going so well.
00:22I've been seeing someone else.
00:24It's okay, Claire.
00:26I mean, it's not the end of the world.
00:28You'll find someone.
00:32Claire.
00:34My jacket?
00:43See you at school.
00:50Look, I get it's only been a week,
00:52but this moping, it's gotta stop.
00:55We were together for two years, though.
00:57Exactly. Forget him.
00:59This is our senior year,
01:00literally the perfect time to just start fresh.
01:03I don't want to start fresh.
01:04I just want Jake back.
01:06Wait, wait, wait, wait, pause.
01:08You want to get back together with him?
01:10Of course I do.
01:11Even though he cheated on you.
01:13Even though he cheated on you.
01:16Everyone makes mistakes.
01:18Oh, okay.
01:19Look, sooner or later,
01:20he's gonna realize how much he misses me.
01:22You know you're my best friend, right?
01:24Yeah.
01:25So seeing you like this,
01:27it honestly kills me.
01:30So if you really, really want to get back together with Jake,
01:34then I'm willing to help you.
01:37Really?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:41Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:42Okay, there's one thing you can do,
01:44like one thing that'll drive him crazy
01:46and just straight back into your arms.
01:47What is it?
01:48Operation Jealousy.
01:51Operation Jealousy?
01:53Yep.
01:54You gotta make him crazy jealous,
01:55and then he'll be crawling on his knees
01:57begging to get back together with you.
01:59Okay, and how do I do that?
02:01Simple.
02:02You bring a hot guy to his birthday party tomorrow.
02:05I don't know.
02:06Seems kind of crazy to me.
02:08Well, you need to trust me,
02:09because it's gonna work.
02:10Okay, well, how am I supposed to find
02:12a new boyfriend in the next 24 hours?
02:14Babe, it's 2020.
02:16You know that anything's possible.
02:18Plus, I found this new app called BF Bundle,
02:22where you can hire a fake boyfriend for the night.
02:24Wait, how do you know about this?
02:27This is about you.
02:28This is about you.
02:29So...
02:31Okay, well, how does it work?
02:32Well, first, we need to create your profile.
02:34And...
02:36Done.
02:37Now we just wait.
02:39Actually, hold on.
02:40I'm gonna add a bio to make you seem
02:42a little bit more...
02:44fun.
02:46Okay, I am plenty of fun.
02:49Look at you right now.
02:51Okay, fair enough.
02:52Yeah.
02:53And...
02:55Oh, oh, whoa.
02:56You already have a match, dude.
02:58You have a match.
02:59And the reviews are raving that he is a total hottie.
03:02Oh my God, let me see.
03:04Swoon-worthy.
03:05Yeah.
03:06Local athlete.
03:08He has a five-star rating.
03:10Yeah, that sounds perfect for you.
03:12Wait, why aren't there any photos?
03:15Oh, the app says it's a privacy thing.
03:17You have to commit to at least a meet-up.
03:19Oh.
03:21I'll take this.
03:22Let's see.
03:23Wait, what are you doing?
03:26Done.
03:28You're meeting him today.
03:30Today?
03:31Yeah.
03:32Like, this today.
03:33This one.
03:34So, let's get dressed.
03:35Zoe!
03:36Yeah!
03:37Zoe!
03:38Come on!
03:39That is too soon!
03:49Damon!
03:50Hey.
03:51I thought you were at a hockey convention all summer.
03:54No, it ended.
03:55I just got back into town.
03:56Plus, Jake wouldn't stop going on about his big birthday bash.
03:59Guess I'll see you there?
04:01Um, no.
04:03Actually, we broke up.
04:04Oh.
04:05Oh, man.
04:06I'm sorry to hear that.
04:07Thanks.
04:08Well, I'm meeting someone, so have a good night.
04:11Yeah, you too.
04:20Thanks.
04:34You know, I'm sure they'll be here any second.
04:36You don't have to wait.
04:37Thank you, though.
04:38I'm not.
04:39I'm actually...
04:40I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:42Do you have to do it right here?
04:44It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:50I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:52Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:59Drama Queen 2020?
05:01Oh, man!
05:02What?
05:03This is epic!
05:04This is a mistake.
05:05Look, forget about everything.
05:06You can even keep the money.
05:07Oh, no, no, no.
05:08You can't get away that easy.
05:09Please, don't tell Jake about this.
05:11Okay, I won't tell him.
05:13And I'll do you one better.
05:15I'll be your fake boyfriend.
05:18What?
05:20What?
05:21That's why you're in the app, right?
05:23I just wanted to hire someone for a date.
05:25You know, make Jake jealous.
05:27Great, I'm in.
05:28No!
05:29Look, we can't do that.
05:30He's your brother.
05:31Who also happens to be a massive jerk for what he did to you.
05:34I mean, I can't believe he cheated on you.
05:37No one's going to believe that you're actually dating me.
05:41Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:43Maybe I'm full of surprises.
05:45No, forget it.
05:46Forget it.
05:47Look, I'll find someone else.
05:48Look, you're not going to do better than going out with Jake's older, charming, and much hotter brother.
05:54Come on, you want to make him jealous and I want to teach him a lesson.
05:57It's a win-win.
06:02Fine.
06:03But we follow my plan.
06:04No improvising.
06:06Yes, ma'am.
06:08So, when exactly are we going to do this?
06:10Tomorrow night.
06:12That's his birthday party.
06:13Exactly.
06:14That's his birthday party.
06:16Exactly.
06:19Well, you're definitely full of surprises.
06:23Will you please answer the question?
06:25Jeez, take it easy.
06:27I hired you to be my boyfriend, remember?
06:30You have to know how we got together in case anyone asks.
06:33Okay, okay, yeah.
06:34What was the question?
06:35Where did we go on our first date?
06:39Um...
06:40We had a magical night at the movies.
06:43Magical night at the movies!
06:44Do people even go to the movies anymore?
06:46Yes, they do.
06:47Isn't that kind of lame?
06:49It's not lame, it's believable.
06:52No, what we need is an epic love story to blow everyone's mind.
06:59What epic love story? We've been dating for like a week.
07:04Well...
07:06Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:10Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:14I've known you for two years, Damon.
07:16Fine, love at second sight.
07:19Look, I just don't want this to blow up in my face because of one misstep.
07:22I'm getting Jake back.
07:24He cheated on you.
07:25It was a mistake.
07:26Besides, I put too much in this relationship just to throw it away.
07:29Wow, how romantic.
07:31You just don't understand the value of being in a committed relationship.
07:35Real relationships never work.
07:38That's why I'm on the app.
07:39With fake relationships, I can enjoy it all without any disappointment.
07:46How romantic.
07:50Well, I gotta go. I've got hockey practice before the party tonight.
07:54Wait, we haven't even gone over my favorite hobbies yet.
07:57How about you drop the plan and just see where the night takes you?
08:00Ever heard of the risk worth taking?
08:02Ever heard of don't mess with a good thing?
08:05Look, I'll follow your lead tonight, but you need to loosen up.
08:08I mean, have some fun.
08:10When was the last time you had fun, Claire?
08:12I have plenty of fun.
08:14Yeah?
08:15Yeah, that's fun. That's almost too fun.
08:19Can't wait to see that later tonight.
08:27Nope. No more of that.
08:30Didn't realize you're an expert in makeup now.
08:33What I mean is you don't need any makeup.
08:35You already look amazing without it.
08:37You can save the theatrics for now. We're not at the party yet.
08:40No, I'm serious. You look beautiful. You always do.
08:45Thank you. I guess I'm just nervous.
08:48Don't worry. I'll be by your side the whole night. I promise.
08:52You shouldn't have to work so hard for Jake anyway.
08:54I mean, you're already way out of his league.
08:57Okay, now I know you're joking.
08:59When you guys first started dating, I couldn't believe my brother's luck.
09:04And you're ridiculously smart.
09:06You starred in all the school plays, got every solo and chorus.
09:09You're still a time for mathletes.
09:13I can't believe you know all that.
09:15I always thought you just ignored me.
09:17You're my little brother's girlfriend. I had to keep my distance, but...
09:21I still pay attention.
09:23You know, when you drop the whole too cool for school act,
09:26you're actually a pretty decent guy, Damon Coyle.
09:29Hey, careful. I have a reputation to uphold.
09:32No, I'm serious. I think you might actually make a great boyfriend.
09:37I mean, when you finally decide to try with someone, of course.
09:43Claire?
09:46We're here.
10:00Hi.
10:05People are looking.
10:07Why are they looking?
10:08They're looking because you're with me.
10:10And when you're with me, you actually get to have some fun for once.
10:29I'm gonna go get us some drinks. I'll be right back.
11:00Okay, wow, wow, wow. It looks like things are heating up.
11:04I know, right? It's almost like Operation Jealousy might actually work.
11:08Yeah, no, I was talking about you two.
11:10What?
11:11You and the town hottie.
11:13No, I mean, we're just... I don't know.
11:15Pretending or actually having fun for once?
11:19You know, you two kind of look cute together.
11:21Plus, I haven't seen you smile this much in a long time.
11:25Oh my god, there he is.
11:28Oh my god, there he is.
11:29See, he can't be over me. Look at his face.
11:33Oh my gosh, is that Chelsea?
11:37So much for girl code, and I thought she was your friend.
11:43He said he'd only give his jacket to his one special girl.
11:49It's time to amp this party up.
11:51Did someone say never have I ever?
11:55Let's play.
11:58I don't think that's a good idea.
12:00Come on, it'll be fun.
12:19Zoe, why don't you go first?
12:22Okay.
12:24Never have I ever fantasized about a teacher.
12:30Cute.
12:31Now let's see.
12:33Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:42Cute.
12:43Now let's see.
12:45Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:52Never have I ever been some loser's side chick.
12:55Never have I ever been desperate enough to swoop in on someone's ex.
12:59Never have I ever cheated on someone completely out of my league.
13:02Never have I ever slept with basically every girl in this room.
13:10Face it, Claire.
13:12You'll never be more than just another number to him.
13:17Claire.
13:18Claire!
13:23Seriously, Claire?
13:24Show up to my party just to start drama?
13:26No, I didn't do anything. It was Chelsea.
13:28Don't blame Chelsea.
13:30You're just jealous.
13:34You know what?
13:35You two deserve each other.
13:38Hey, dude.
13:39Are you okay?
13:40Because that game was brutal.
13:42And where did Damon run off to?
13:45I don't know.
13:46He said he was going to be by my side the entire night.
13:48And I thought we were...
13:51It doesn't even matter anymore.
13:53Is Claire Sanders actually breaking protocol?
13:57No matter how hard I plan or how carefully I try to put my life into this perfect little box,
14:02it all comes crashing down around me.
14:04And now the one guy I might actually have real feelings for is off God knows where
14:08probably setting up a new date with the girl in that stupid app.
14:13So, yeah, I'm done planning.
14:16Plans can suck it.
14:30Hey.
14:31Sorry I ran out like that.
14:33Left my phone in the car and I had to grab it to get on the app.
14:36Of course.
14:37What?
14:38Wait, wait, wait.
14:39Where are you going?
14:40Home.
14:41And don't worry, I'll still write a good review for you.
14:43I wouldn't want you to miss out on any more epic dates.
14:45Hey, talk to me.
14:47You just left me in there.
14:50I know.
14:51I'm sorry.
14:52I wasn't thinking.
14:53I don't care anymore, Damon.
14:54Look, you were right.
14:55Jake's an ass.
14:56So, the plan, this, it's over.
15:02What if I don't want it to be over?
15:04What if I don't want it to be over?
15:07You could have your pick of any girl out there.
15:09So, why don't you just get on the app and find someone else?
15:11Yeah, I got on the app because I wanted to delete it.
15:15What?
15:16I deactivated my account.
15:18Why would you do that?
15:20Look, I know I'm just another number.
15:21You're not just another number.
15:23Okay?
15:24You never were.
15:27I don't want to fake date with you anymore.
15:29Alright?
15:31I want a real one.
15:38I thought you said that real relationships never work.
15:42Well, maybe I realized that you're the rest worth taking.
16:02Okay.
16:07Come on.
16:08Slapchat 239.
16:11Pick me up.
16:17Are you sure I'm doing this right?
16:19Yeah, just make sure these two dots match.
16:22So, make that side a little bit bigger.
16:24Okay.
16:25I am trusting the process.
16:27I'm just glad we get to go sag together.
16:29You never got a date, right?
16:31No date.
16:32But Damon's really not coming?
16:34I bought him a ticket in case he changes mind, but he won't budge.
16:37Well, that's his loss because you are about to be the best homecoming queen that we have ever seen.
16:44No way!
16:45I don't even know how I got nominated.
16:47And, of course, Jake is on the ballot because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins.
16:51I feel like the only reason I'm on there is because people want to see what Chelsea will do if I win.
16:56Knowing her, she'll probably dump a bucket of pig's blood on my head.
16:59At least she's vegan, so, you know, it'll be synthetic.
17:03Maybe Jake, like, campaigned for you guys to reignite something.
17:07Because I heard rumblings that him and Chelsea aren't doing too hot right now.
17:11Ooh, trouble in cheater's paradise.
17:14Shocker.
17:15Where did you even hear that, anyway?
17:19I don't even remember.
17:20You know, gossip travels.
17:23That looks pretty good.
17:25But it could also be your newfound popularity from dating Damon.
17:28It hasn't exactly gone unnoticed that you get picked up on a motorcycle every single day.
17:33Yes, Damon.
17:35My knight in shining armor who can't even be bothered to take his girlfriend to her school dance.
17:42I mean, at least he's hot.
17:45So hot.
17:48It's so weird that Joey didn't ask you to be his date.
17:51Um, not that weird. We haven't talked in a while.
17:54Why? I thought you were starting to dig him.
17:56As soon as I figured out that our names couldn't have one of those cool celebrity abbreviations, it was over before it began.
18:02Jay-Zoey.
18:04Zoey. Absolutely not.
18:08Well, more Zoey for me.
18:10Nothing's gonna keep us apart.
18:13Oh, it's Damon!
18:15Oh, it's Damon!
18:17Or should I say Claremon?
18:19Can I call you back to finish this?
18:21Yeah, you can.
18:22Claremon.
18:23But you better, because we need to finish this look.
18:25Okay. Bye.
18:28Hey, beauti-
18:29What's up with your eyes?
18:32It's not finished yet.
18:33You look like Amy Winehouse on a Tuesday morning.
18:36Zoey is giving me a tutorial for the dance tonight.
18:38Ah, yes.
18:41I almost forgot who I was speaking with.
18:43My sincerest apologies.
18:45Your Royalness.
18:46I know how you can make it up to me.
18:49Nope.
18:50Come on, you're seriously gonna let me do this alone?
18:52You're not gonna be alone. I thought you were rolling with Zo.
18:55Plus, if you listen very carefully, I bet you can hear Jay-
18:59Yep, there's Jay, bouncing off the walls.
19:02Dude is pumped.
19:03Yeah, because dances are super fun, and even more fun if you have a date like he does.
19:08Yeah, for now.
19:10What do you mean?
19:11Chelsea's been soft-ghosting him. I don't think she's that excited about the dance.
19:16Why could that be? Because yours truly got nominated, and she didn't?
19:21Oh yeah, I'm sure that's it.
19:23I bet that is it.
19:25She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:29She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:33And then, you know, for the rest of the school year, because I would have to play in prom,
19:38and then the homecoming queen normally becomes the prom queen, and then-
19:41I seriously doubt she's thinking about this a quarter as much as you are.
19:44How could she not be?
19:47Because nobody cares about this king and queen stuff as much as you and Jake. It's lame.
19:52Easy for you to say. You got nominated all four years and didn't even show up.
19:56I get that this seems like a big deal to you now, but I promise when you get out of high school,
20:00you'll realize none of this stuff matters.
20:04Wow, and you think Chelsea has already reached this higher consciousness?
20:10No, I'm not talking about her.
20:12You know, come to think of it, if you both are so mature, maybe you should skip the dance together,
20:16get a cheese board, and, you know, talk about all the super important adult stuff that actually matters.
20:24Oh look, someone my age is calling.
20:27I didn't mean- Claire!
20:29Bye.
20:36I need to fix this.
20:39Hey, Jake.
20:40Claire! Hey, um, thanks for picking up.
20:45Whoa, did Zoe do this to you?
20:48It's a work in progress. What's up?
20:50Cool. Um, I just wanted to call you and touch base and just, you know, make sure that things don't get awkward tonight.
21:02You mean if we win?
21:04We're gonna win.
21:07Is Chelsea gonna be upset if- when we win?
21:12If, um, if she looks up from her phone long enough to notice, maybe.
21:16Aw, texting someone else?
21:18It'd be a shame if she were in, like, a secret relationship. That would suck.
21:22Look, Claire, I know that I can never apologize enough for what I did, but I really am sorry.
21:31I didn't mean to hurt you, and if I could take it back, I would.
21:37It's fine. It's fine. Just, at least she'll be there. Damon won't even come.
21:45Yeah, I never really understood his thing with dances. I mean, like, we always had a great time.
21:50I know. It's a chance to get, like, dressed up and have fun and make grand romantic gestures.
21:57Jinx!
21:59Don't tell anyone that I just said that.
22:04Whoa. Is that the dress that you've been saving since freshman year?
22:08Yeah. I can't believe I'll finally be able to wear it.
22:14And I can't believe this will be our first high school dance where we aren't going together.
22:20Yeah. Me neither.
22:24I hope we win so we at least get one dance together.
22:30Well, how about, either way, we make it happen. One dance before the night's over.
22:35Deal.
22:37As long as you promise not to step on my dress like you did junior year.
22:40That was sophomore year!
22:42It was both.
22:44Fine. As long as you promise not to bust out your grandma moves.
22:50What? You mean this one?
22:53Oh, God. My eyes! Stop it! My eyes!
23:01What? Like you can do better?
23:02Oh, come on. Anyone can do better than whatever that was.
23:06Let's see. By all means.
23:13Hey.
23:24Oh. Sorry. Chelsea's calling me. I should get it.
23:29I'll see you later?
23:31Yeah. Yeah. See ya.
23:44Hello? Hello?
23:48I'm just trying to show you what you're missing.
23:51Wow. You look incredible.
23:54Thanks. Are you going somewhere?
23:58Yeah. There's a cheese board with my name on it I need to get to.
24:01Look, I'm sorry about before.
24:05I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming.
24:09I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming.
24:13I don't know. I really wanted you to be there.
24:15Yeah. I'm sorry too. I should have known how important it was to you.
24:19It's okay.
24:20How do you do this?
24:23You're getting pretty dressed up to eat a cheese board with your brother's girlfriend.
24:28If you think I'm going to let my brother have all the fun, you're crazy.
24:32Is this going to match your dress?
24:35You're coming?
24:37And you got me a corsage?
24:39Is that against the rule to bring your own crowns?
24:41I just want to make sure people know who the true king and queen are.
24:44My crowns are meant to protect you.
24:46For what?
24:47Nothing. Nothing.
24:49I'm just talking to myself.
24:51Okay, well how about a little less chit-chat and a little more boogie?
24:54Come on, Claire. We've got a homecoming to get to.
24:56And I, for one, am wearing my dancing shoes.
25:00Okay.
25:04Okay.
25:15This part always gets me.
25:20Yes!
25:22Yes, yes. It is so sad.
25:25Are you watching hockey right now?
25:27What? No.
25:29No, I mean, I'm not not watching hockey.
25:33Come on, babe. Cut me some slack.
25:35It's my birthday tomorrow and these are two of my favorite teams.
25:37This is a classic, Damon.
25:39Anybody who's anybody has seen this.
25:41Classics just code for old.
25:43I don't know why I bother trying to culture you.
25:46Anyway, what's the plans for tomorrow, birthday boy?
25:51Well, since I've been away for two weeks,
25:53I was thinking I could kiss your face for the first half of the day
25:56and then, you know, we get to party later.
25:58Um...
26:00Crap. Crap. Crap.
26:03Um, Nico Guitar Flames is calling. Who's that?
26:08I completely forgot I have a lesson now.
26:13Is this why you've gotten so into guitar lately?
26:18Hey, my favorite student.
26:20And my favorite student's friend?
26:24We were just watching The Long Way and we lost track of time.
26:28Oh, yes. I see you took my recommendation.
26:31Such a classic.
26:33Boyfriend.
26:35What?
26:37I'm not her friend. I'm her boyfriend.
26:39Oh, lucky guy.
26:41Who was just leaving.
26:43Bye, Damon.
26:45I mean, I can stay.
26:47I'd love to see what you two have been working so hard on lately.
26:49No. I mean...
26:51No. No.
26:53She's right. Music is so personal.
26:55So intimate. Something to be shared between two.
26:57Or three.
26:59Oh, no. Almost never three.
27:05Young love. Such a beautiful thing.
27:07Love? Who said...
27:09I don't... We...
27:11I... We don't... Um...
27:15Have you ever been in love?
27:17Of course.
27:19Yeah, I've been in love a bunch of times.
27:22I mean, not a bunch of times.
27:25The normal amount of times.
27:27It's just there's a lot of pressure
27:29on when to say it.
27:31There's a lot of stress.
27:33And then you don't know who should say it first.
27:35Or when you should say it.
27:37Or if they'll ever say it back.
27:39Maybe I can help you find a way to say it.
27:47Should we begin?
27:49Should we begin?
27:51Yeah.
27:57Damon?
27:59Hey, Zoe. What's up?
28:01How are you doing?
28:03I'm good.
28:05That's awesome.
28:07I'm also good.
28:09You know, I've been away at training camp for a couple weeks.
28:11Coming home tomorrow.
28:13So, here's a funny
28:15little question for you.
28:17Claire's guitar teacher.
28:21Nico.
28:23Yeah.
28:25He's not even that good looking.
28:27Oh, no. He's a solid 9.5.
28:29And then him playing guitar takes him to about a 12.
28:31I just think it's weird.
28:33You know?
28:35She's doubled her lessons while I've been away.
28:37And we're watching movies
28:39they both like.
28:41Wouldn't you feel a little bit weird about your girlfriend
28:43hanging out with some guitar player multiple times a week?
28:45I thought you said he wasn't good looking.
28:47Zoe.
28:49Okay.
28:51I wouldn't feel great about it.
28:53But I'd be
28:55confident in my relationship.
28:57I would know that she really wants to be with me.
28:59And not him.
29:01I just don't get it.
29:03She's being so secretive about it.
29:05I haven't even heard her play anything.
29:07Yeah, Damon. I don't know.
29:09Don't you have any guy friends to call about this?
29:11Who am I going to talk to, Zoe?
29:13Guys don't talk about stuff.
29:15If only you knew somebody that dated Claire
29:17and knew her really, really well.
29:19Jake?
29:21I mean, it can't be weirder than you calling me about this.
29:23Yeah, okay.
29:25You're right.
29:27You're good friends, though. Claire's lucky to have you on her side.
29:29Don't stress.
29:31I'm sure there's absolutely nothing to worry about.
29:33Plus, isn't it your birthday tomorrow?
29:35Focus on that.
29:37Yeah. Thanks, Zoe. I'll see you tomorrow.
29:39Beep, beep, beep.
29:45Love.
29:47Love.
29:49Hey, birthday boy!
29:51Not until tomorrow. Where's Jake?
29:53He's in the shower. He just got back from practice
29:55and he's disgusting.
29:57I was totally going to wish you a happy birthday,
29:59but I didn't have your number.
30:01Yeah, let's keep it that way.
30:03So what's on the agenda?
30:05What time am I picking you up tonight?
30:07I mean, obviously.
30:09Does Perfect Claire have a perfect little date planned?
30:11Other than running off
30:13the guitar teacher? Probably not.
30:15Oh, that's right. She started studying with Nico.
30:17Wait, you know Nico?
30:19Yeah. I set them up.
30:21He's amazing. So, so talented.
30:23So, so talented.
30:25What do you mean
30:27you set them up?
30:29Well, she was saying a few weeks ago at the house
30:31that she's been wanting to learn, so...
30:33I don't know. I suggested Nico.
30:35Okay, so this is your fault. Thanks a lot.
30:37Where was I? Sitting right next to her,
30:39not listening, per usual.
30:41That's not...
30:43That's not true. I listen.
30:45Whatever.
30:47Anyway, out of the kindness
30:49of my generous heart, I suggested Nico.
30:51Every girl should have a few lessons with him.
30:53He teaches you so much.
30:55I wouldn't expect
30:57your smash talkie brain to understand.
30:59What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:01What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:03Music, art,
31:05culture, languages.
31:07You're not, like, afraid
31:09she's gonna ditch you for a guy she can actually
31:11have a conversation with, are you?
31:13But we have conversations, Chelsea.
31:15Is Jake out of the shower yet?
31:17Oh yeah, about what, huh?
31:19Hockey? And then hockey?
31:21Oh, of course, right. There's always
31:23hockey. Seriously though, Damon,
31:25hockey's like your one true love, and
31:27it's kinda boring.
31:29I love other things.
31:31Like what?
31:33Like Claire, and I don't want her running off with some
31:35guitar-playing
31:37art-culture-looking
31:39snob, alright?
31:41Look,
31:43I'm not saying I'm an expert on all things
31:45Claire, but dating brothers
31:47has forced us to hang out with each other
31:49more than either of us would have liked, and
31:51she's actually kind of...
31:53interesting.
31:55So, maybe
31:57you should at least pretend to care about some of the things
31:59she likes. Yeah.
32:01That's actually not terrible advice.
32:05Consider it my birthday gift to you.
32:07Gee, thanks a lot.
32:09So, what are you still doing here?
32:11Go, before she hires
32:13Nico to be her boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:15Bye!
32:17So, what are you still doing here?
32:19Go, before she hires Nico to be
32:21her boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:23Bye!
32:25Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever. Thanks, bye.
32:29Bye.
32:39Hey!
32:41I was just gonna call you.
32:43You're all dressed up.
32:45Damon,
32:47I've been wanting to tell you how I feel,
32:49and I...
32:51This was going to be a birthday surprise, but
32:53I just...
32:55I didn't think I could wait.
32:59Okay.
33:11You're the cream in my coffee
33:13You're the apple of my eye
33:15You make me wanna laugh
33:17And I think I'm gonna cry
33:19But you're the one
33:21So there's one thing I must do
33:23So there's one thing I must do
33:27I have to say
33:29I...
33:31I love you.
33:33I love you too.
33:37Moments dealer.
33:39I'm sorry, but I needed you to know it.
33:41I love you so much, Claire.
33:43And I'm sorry that I got weird earlier,
33:45but I talked to Zoe, and...
33:47You talked to Zoe?
33:49Yeah, and she told me not to worry.
33:51She always has your back, which I love.
33:53Huh. Love.
33:55And I talked to Chelsea.
33:57Ew, why'd you talk to Chelsea?
33:59I don't know, she sucks.
34:01But she did say one thing that wasn't terrible.
34:03I wanna make more of an effort to share your interests, Claire.
34:05I wanna make more of an effort to share your interests, Claire.
34:07I wanna watch whatever you wanna watch,
34:09and talk about musicals.
34:11Even the old ones, I don't care.
34:13Just no subtitles. Deal?
34:15Deal.
34:17Okay.
34:19Babe?
34:21Yeah?
34:23Do you think I could finish my song?
34:25I worked really hard on it.
34:27Yes, please.
34:31Blue-eyed baby
34:33as bright as the sky
34:35Hanging in the cloud
34:37but never felt so high
34:39Think you're the one
34:41so it's one thing I must do
34:45Have to say
34:47I love you
34:49Do-do-do-do-do-do-do
34:51Do-do-do-do-do-do
34:53Do-do-do-do-do-do
34:55Did you change your pillowcases?
34:57No.
34:59Claire did not leave them there.
35:01That looks like trash.
35:03Do you have time to do a load of laundry?
35:05Not really, but yeah.
35:07Did you get the champagne?
35:09Yes.
35:11Chocolates? Rose petals?
35:13Massage oils? Scented candles?
35:15All of that?
35:17Claire, I'm playing with you.
35:19I literally don't understand why you're freaking out right now.
35:21One, Damon's been in your room
35:23and two, you're not a virgin.
35:25I'm a virgin to sleeping with brothers.
35:27True.
35:29That's awkward.
35:31Is there a term for that?
35:33Sleeping with brothers.
35:37Please
35:39do not ever Google that.
35:41Ever.
35:43So, look, this is a big night.
35:45After tonight, that's it.
35:47What do you mean, this is it?
35:49Like, me and Damon.
35:51There's no going back.
35:53Going back to what? To Jake?
35:55Have you guys been talking or something?
35:57No. Not talking.
35:59I don't know.
36:01We dated for so long.
36:03It feels like a betrayal, you know?
36:05And plus, I know
36:07Chelsea broke up with him, so
36:09I know he's not in a good place.
36:11About time.
36:13She dragged that on long enough.
36:15What's that supposed to mean?
36:17Nothing, Claire. I don't think you sleeping with your boyfriend
36:19is a betrayal. You're good.
36:21You think they'll talk about it?
36:23Oh my god, what if they compare notes?
36:25Oh god, that's so awkward.
36:27I think the only one that gets to do the comparing is you.
36:29Plus, Damon is gonna be
36:31ten times better than Jake.
36:33Think about all that experience.
36:35Why would you say that?
36:37So, I didn't even think of it like that.
36:39God,
36:41he's been with so many girls.
36:43What if he thinks I don't know what I'm doing?
36:45God, thanks a lot.
36:47It's just what I needed.
36:49That's literally not what I meant at all.
36:53Oh, it's Damon.
36:55Wish me luck.
36:57Bye.
37:01Hey.
37:05You are definitely running late,
37:07but since you are shirtless
37:09and you probably smell good,
37:11I'll let it slide.
37:13You are definitely running late,
37:15but since you are shirtless
37:17and you probably smell good,
37:19I'll let it slide.
37:21Hey, uh, so I got some news.
37:23Bad news?
37:25No, just, uh, do you remember
37:27Natasha?
37:29Natasha, your
37:31super hot ex who ran away to, like,
37:33live off the land in Japan?
37:35She tried her bicycle across Thailand,
37:37but, yeah, great, so you remember.
37:39She's back.
37:41Oh, so that's horrible news.
37:43I know we're supposed to hang tonight. Do you mind if I rain check?
37:45Do I mind if you bail
37:47to run off with a literal model
37:49who also happens to be your ex-girlfriend?
37:51Hmm, let me think about that.
37:53Hmm, let me think about that.
37:55I know it's a little bit weird, but I promise,
37:57she just wants to stop by, show me some pictures,
37:59and she's leaving again in, like, a week.
38:01Wait, wait, she's coming over to your place?
38:03Why can't you just insta-stalk her
38:05like any normal ex-boyfriend?
38:07Actually,
38:09uh, do not.
38:11She is the literal girl version
38:13of you. That's exactly why we didn't work.
38:15Trust me, it's strictly a friend thing.
38:17I don't know. I know who you guys were
38:19when you were together. You couldn't keep your hands off
38:21each other. Yeah, now I can't keep my hands
38:23off you. I'm being serious.
38:25We both have exes, Claire.
38:27Come on. Don't forget I had to
38:29watch you date my brother for two years.
38:31Okay, I don't want to fight.
38:33I just, I really wanted to spend time with you tonight.
38:35I was hoping this could be
38:37our special.
38:39She's here. I gotta go.
38:41Love you.
38:55I know I said I wanted updates, but
38:57definitely did not mean in real time.
38:59Haha. Funny.
39:01You know what else is funny?
39:03Damon running off with his ex-girlfriend.
39:05Wow. Which one?
39:07Please don't say Natasha.
39:09Aww.
39:11Didn't she move to the Philippines?
39:13Thailand.
39:15And just for the year, sadly.
39:17Damon finally moving on
39:19must have triggered her spidey sense,
39:21and now she's returned to ruin my perfect night.
39:23Claire, she's an influencer,
39:25not a comic book villain.
39:27Same difference.
39:29Okay, Natasha's back,
39:31but that doesn't have to mean anything.
39:33Was Damon acting excited or weird?
39:35He showered.
39:37Okay.
39:39He's pretty. He does that.
39:41Anything else?
39:43I trust Damon.
39:45I don't trust her.
39:47Shit.
39:49She just posted a story.
39:51I can't look at it. She'll know.
39:53She has 80,000 followers.
39:55She's not gonna see your name.
39:57I can't look, Zoe. You look.
39:59What is it?
40:01Are they kissing?
40:03Are they back together?
40:05Okay, maybe you should look at it
40:07so you can stop freaking out.
40:15Why would you have me look at that?
40:17Ugh!
40:19This is it.
40:21They're gonna get married,
40:23have kids, and have a yurt in Iceland.
40:25You know, I did hear that Reykjavik
40:27is really beautiful in springtime, actually.
40:29Ugh.
40:31Again, with the not helping.
40:33But this was supposed to be our biggest night of our lives.
40:35I'm allowed to be disappointed.
40:37But you're being insane.
40:39Damon loves you.
40:41He's not getting back together with Natasha.
40:43Did you see the photo?
40:45He is supposed to be drinking and snuggling
40:47with me, not her.
40:49They're not snuggling.
40:51You didn't tell him about this perfect night
40:53so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader.
40:55You didn't tell him about this perfect night
40:57so you can't be mad at him
40:59for not being a mind reader.
41:01What's going on?
41:03Why are you taking my side on this?
41:05Nothing's wrong with me.
41:07I'm just saying that, like,
41:09whatever. I gotta go.
41:11Don't trip. I'm sure it'll be fine.
41:13Beep, beep, beep.
41:15Beep, beep, beep.
41:17Beep, beep, beep.
41:19Beep, beep, beep.
41:21Beep, beep, beep.
41:23Beep, beep, beep.
41:25Beep, beep, beep.
41:27Hi.
41:29Are you calling from Reykjavik?
41:31What?
41:33Nothing.
41:35Where are you? I thought you were hanging out with Natasha.
41:37Uh, yeah, I was, but, you know,
41:39there's only so many pictures of Thailand a person can take.
41:41What happened?
41:43Nothing.
41:45You were right.
41:47That was a bad idea.
41:49It was stupid for me to think we could just hang as friends.
41:51She hasn't changed at all.
41:53I mean, she invited me to go to Bali with her,
41:55and she tried to kiss me.
41:57Wait, you kissed?
41:59No, no, she tried.
42:01Look, I'm really sorry, Claire.
42:03I shouldn't have put myself in that position.
42:05Did you want to kiss her?
42:07No way. Are you kidding?
42:09You're the only person I want to kiss, like, ever.
42:11Why don't you say that to my face?
42:13Why don't you let me up?
42:15I'm outside.
42:17You're here?
42:19Wait, are you sure?
42:21I only have 700 followers.
42:23Please, you know she bought all those followers, right?
42:25What?
42:27100%.
42:29But do I see some black silk under there?
42:31I'm much more interested in that.
42:33Come on, let me up.
42:35Keep going.
42:37Now, target zone for the straight punches.
42:39Right for the front of the face.
42:41Palms are down, elbows are tight.
42:43There we go.
42:45Damon's texted me,
42:47I love you, three times since this morning.
42:49Who knew he'd get so mushy after sex?
42:51That's awesome.
42:53And he took me out for breakfast.
42:55Did I say that already?
42:57Like, four times.
42:59No, well, now I guess I said it five.
43:01Anyway, did you hear that Natasha
43:03pays for her followers?
43:05How embarrassing and sad is that?
43:07Two uppercuts, let's go.
43:09Uppercuts.
43:11Target zone, where is it?
43:13Underneath the chin, elbows tight to the body.
43:15Now.
43:17Wow, that's actually the first question
43:19you've asked me in months.
43:21Whoa, are you mad at me?
43:23Not mad, I'm just tired.
43:25Well, we can pause it.
43:27I mean, no, Claire,
43:29I'm tired of this one-sided friendship dance
43:31that we've been doing
43:33since you started dating Damon.
43:35I don't know what you're talking about.
43:37You realize that we were supposed to go
43:39to homecoming together, right?
43:41And then Damon came,
43:43and the only time you call me
43:45is to ask or talk about Damon,
43:47and now Damon's calling me to talk about you
43:49and I am tired of it.
43:51We're supposed to be best friends, right?
43:53I am your best friend.
43:55No, I'm your best friend
43:57and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:59Well, I'm sorry,
44:01I'm talking a little too much about my boyfriend,
44:03but I don't think it's fair to say that I've been a bad friend.
44:05I mean...
44:07Well, I think a good friend would notice that their best friend
44:09has been going through something huge
44:11the past few months.
44:13Oh my God, what?
44:15Zoe, are you okay?
44:17Yeah, I'm actually great.
44:19I've been seeing someone
44:21and it's getting pretty serious,
44:23but it's been exhausting
44:25not being able to just talk to you about it.
44:27You can talk to me about anything.
44:29This is so exciting, who is it?
44:31It's not important.
44:33What do you mean it's not important?
44:35I want to know who stole my bestie's heart,
44:37come on!
44:39She didn't steal anything, it just kind of
44:41happened.
44:43I didn't think we'd get along so well, but
44:45she's just
44:47perfect.
44:49Okay, so we've established
44:51it's a girl.
44:53I mean, that shrinks the pool a little,
44:55but she's giving me a good enough hint.
44:57Okay, maybe she's not perfect and it's just like
44:59the honeymoon phase talking.
45:01I don't know.
45:03I don't know what we are.
45:05It's like, we're dating, but
45:07we haven't put a label on it yet.
45:09I guess it's just like
45:11a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:13What does Chelsea
45:15have to do with this?
45:17Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:19I guess it's just like
45:21a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:23What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:25Because I'm the first
45:27girl she's ever been with.
45:29Hold on.
45:31You're dating Chelsea?
45:33Like, like ruined
45:35my life, Chelsea!
45:37Are you kidding me? We hate Chelsea!
45:39You know she broke up with Jake
45:41and he's like devastated, right?
45:43Okay, but we don't care about Jake.
45:45We care about me, right?
45:47So you're the other woman now.
45:49That's not fair. Especially because she
45:51wasn't even that into him. I'm sorry, what?
45:53She weaseled into
45:55our two-year relationship because she
45:57wasn't that into him?
45:59Claire, why are you so wrapped up in that?
46:01Aren't you in heaven with Damon?
46:03Because I haven't heard you shut up about him in the last
46:05three months. Well, I'm sorry
46:07I didn't shut up long enough to hear of your disastrous
46:09plan to date the she-devil
46:11herself. I would have
46:13talked you out of it. You don't even know her, Claire.
46:15Seems like I don't know either
46:17of you. And whose fault is that?
46:19Listen, I can tell you
46:21exactly what Damon had for breakfast.
46:23But as soon as I share an important
46:25detail of my love life for once,
46:27you get up on your high horse and you
46:29rain judgment on everyone below you.
46:31I'm over it.
46:41Well,
46:43that went well. Uh-oh.
46:45How bad? If a
46:47dumpster fire filled with fuzzy puppies
46:49was a 10, then that was
46:51a 14.7.
46:53Gross.
46:55I'm sorry, babe. I know it couldn't have been easy.
46:57But at least Claire stopped talking
46:59long enough for you to tell her.
47:01That feels like a small win. I guess.
47:03I don't know. It's hard
47:05because I don't even know what I'm supposed to be telling
47:07her. Like, I didn't say that you were my
47:09girlfriend because you and Jake just broke
47:11up and I totally respect that.
47:13I think after last night
47:15it's pretty safe to say you're my
47:17girlfriend, Zoe.
47:19Cool.
47:21Cool.
47:23Chelsea, I really like you
47:25and I haven't been this happy with someone
47:27in a long time.
47:29I just wish that Claire
47:31could get her head out of her butt for five
47:33seconds to be excited for me.
47:35Whatever.
47:37I don't need her.
47:39I have you.
47:41As much as I'd love to have Claire
47:43out of my life forever, you guys have
47:45way too much history to throw it away.
47:47But that dumpster fire I was talking about?
47:49Yeah, it's active.
47:51Babe, I'm serious. You guys have been
47:53friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns
47:55over the years being the needy one.
47:57Babe, I'm serious.
47:59You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've
48:01taken your turns over the years being the needy one.
48:03Yeah, well, her
48:0590 days have expired.
48:07They're done. I'm over it.
48:09I've never known you to be the type to
48:11not say what's on your mind, but
48:13for some reason with Claire, you just bottle it up
48:15and it's like you forgot how to
48:17stand up for yourself.
48:19Well, she dominates every single conversation
48:21with, me and Damon did this,
48:23and me and Damon did that.
48:25So you're telling me you haven't had a single chance
48:27to tell her about us?
48:29Or about how you were feeling?
48:31Or you may be holding back because you knew how she'd respond.
48:35Maybe.
48:37Claire's the one who needs to apologize,
48:39but she's not the only one in the wrong.
48:43Why do you have to be
48:45so perfect?
48:47Bad habit.
48:49Alright, let me figure
48:51this out.
48:53Okay, call me back. Bye.
48:57Hey, what's going on?
48:59Chelsea? Did I open a
49:01cursed box? Was I a serial killer
49:03in a past life? What horrible
49:05karma am I due that Chelsea exists
49:07to date everyone I love?
49:09She hasn't dated me. I will literally
49:11murder. She hasn't dated me.
49:13I will literally murder.
49:15Sounds like you'd be a serial killer in this life, too.
49:17Why aren't you more bothered by this?
49:19Don't you feel bad for Jake?
49:21No, do you?
49:23No? Look, she has just
49:25weaseled her way through our entire friend group
49:27and I'm sick of it. I thought you guys were becoming
49:29buds. Didn't she set you up with Miko?
49:31Oh, yeah. Another way
49:33how she's ruined our lives.
49:35Why can't she just stay in her lane?
49:39What?
49:41Nothing, I just
49:43I hope you weren't like this with Zoe.
49:45I think it's cool. Zoe's never really had a
49:47relationship stick, has she?
49:49So, maybe the fact that she's bringing this up to you
49:51could be something serious.
49:53Why'd she wait so long to
49:55tell me, then? Maybe
49:57because she knew you were going to act like you did?
49:59Okay, so you think I'm the jerk?
50:01No, no.
50:03I just, I think it's
50:05maybe it's your turn to be the best friend.
50:07Yeah, the best friend to someone who's just screamed at me?
50:09Zoe's literally
50:11never screamed at anyone. She's the chillest person
50:13I know. I'm sorry to say
50:15it, babe. You know I'm on your side, but
50:17if she's this upset...
50:19I was wrong.
50:21You're still very cute, though.
50:23And I bet you're even cuter when you apologize.
50:25Not that I've ever seen it, but
50:27I'm sure we'll get there one day.
50:29Don't hold your breath.
50:33Okay.
50:35I am going to give her
50:37the best, best friend apology
50:39she's ever had.
50:41You got this. I'm proud of you.
50:43And thanks for loving me
50:45even though I'm a teeny
50:47tiny bit difficult.
50:49Of course. You got this.
50:55Pick up.
50:57Please pick up.
50:59Never have I ever
51:01been the biggest jerk in the history
51:03of the world. I was
51:05gonna say been so selfish to someone
51:07who's always been there for me,
51:09but yours works, too.
51:11I messed up.
51:13You messed up big time.
51:15I know. I freaked.
51:17I'm just, I'm so tired of hearing Chelsea's
51:19name.
51:21But that doesn't
51:23matter because
51:25this isn't about me.
51:27Well, you're gonna be hearing it a lot more.
51:29Seriously, Claire,
51:31I've never felt this way about
51:33anybody before.
51:35I think she might be
51:37my person.
51:39If you're happy,
51:41I'm happy.
51:43Truly. Look, I love you,
51:45so you're my best friend.
51:47And I'm yours
51:49and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:51You're my best friend.
51:53And I'm yours
51:55and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:57You know there's an app for that.
51:59Best friend for hire?
52:01Yeah, but unfortunately, they don't seem
52:03to have anybody as good as you.
52:05I checked.
52:07I'm sorry, too.
52:09I should have told you way sooner.
52:11It's just I was afraid that you were gonna freak out,
52:13which you did,
52:15and I know Chelsea's probably the worst person
52:17for this to happen with,
52:19but if you guys just gave each other a chance,
52:21I'm sure you would get along.
52:23I'm sure you would get along.
52:25Wait.
52:27Chelsea doesn't like me?
52:31But if you like her,
52:33I guess she can't be all that bad.
52:37Now, spill the deets.
52:39You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:41Well, let's just say last night
52:43wasn't just your special night.
52:55You