“Two Weeks to Live” is a 1943 American comedy film directed by Malcolm St. Clair, featuring the beloved radio duo Lum and Abner. The story follows Abner Peabody, who is mistakenly diagnosed as having only two weeks to live. His business partner, Lum Edwards, sees an opportunity to make money by having Abner perform dangerous stunts, believing he has nothing to lose. As Abner embarks on a series of wild and risky adventures—including testing experimental drugs, performing daredevil feats, and even attempting a death-defying airplane stunt—the film delivers humor, slapstick, and classic small-town charm.
Credits:
Director: Malcolm St. Clair
Producer: Ben Hersh
Starring: Chester Lauck, Norris Goff, Franklin Pangborn, Kay Linaker
Screenplay: Roswell Rogers, Michael L. Simmons
Cinematography: Jack MacKenzie
#TwoWeeksToLive1943 #LumAndAbner #ClassicHollywood #ComedyFilm
Credits:
Director: Malcolm St. Clair
Producer: Ben Hersh
Starring: Chester Lauck, Norris Goff, Franklin Pangborn, Kay Linaker
Screenplay: Roswell Rogers, Michael L. Simmons
Cinematography: Jack MacKenzie
#TwoWeeksToLive1943 #LumAndAbner #ClassicHollywood #ComedyFilm
Category
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Short filmTranscript
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00:01:00Miss Dunn, call up that map company and ask them if they have any other maps.
00:01:03Yes, Mr. Stark.
00:01:05Here it is. I found it.
00:01:07Where?
00:01:08In Arkansas.
00:01:09Right here.
00:01:10Pine Ridge, Arkansas.
00:01:12Ah.
00:01:15Partner in the firm of Edwards and Peabody, old mercantile establishment in Pine Ridge.
00:01:20All right, Miss Dunn, get that letter in the mail.
00:01:22Yes, Mr. Stark.
00:01:24Oh, uh, you better send it airmail.
00:01:26Oh, yes, Mr. Stark.
00:01:27Uh, airmail special.
00:01:29Yes, dear.
00:01:33Yes, Mr. Stark.
00:01:34Yes.
00:01:36♪
00:01:41♪
00:01:45Morning, Lum.
00:01:46Morning, Abner.
00:01:47Morning, Ulysses.
00:01:49I ain't saw you around for several days, Ulysses.
00:01:51No, mail's been kind of slow coming in.
00:01:54Besides, I wanted to wait till I got a full sack before I started out.
00:01:57Natural, natural.
00:01:58If there's any one thing I hate, it's toting around a half-empty sack of mail.
00:02:01Sure.
00:02:02Besides, I've been trying to save on rubber.
00:02:05Save on rubber?
00:02:06Yeah, yeah.
00:02:07You ain't got no automobile.
00:02:08No, my heels, my heels.
00:02:10Oh, yeah.
00:02:11Think I got a letter here for you, too, Abner.
00:02:14Oh, good for me.
00:02:15Oh, right there, Lum.
00:02:16Hmm.
00:02:17Gomer Bates is over at Cherry Hill.
00:02:20This didn't relate.
00:02:21Well, I do know.
00:02:23Went to a picnic.
00:02:24Him and another fellow won the three-leggers race.
00:02:27Huh.
00:02:28I never know Gomer's three-leggers.
00:02:31Ah, here's your letter, Abner.
00:02:33Come about a week ago.
00:02:35Special delivery.
00:02:36Special delivery?
00:02:37Yeah.
00:02:38What's that?
00:02:39I don't know, Lum.
00:02:41I've been looking at that stamp for the last three or four days,
00:02:44trying to figure out what that tin-tin stamp is for.
00:02:47Some vex you, huh?
00:02:48Yeah.
00:02:49I'm aiming to ask the inspector just what that stamp is for the next time he comes through here.
00:02:54Yeah, more than likely something new the giver meant to get it up.
00:02:57What'd the letter have to say, Liz?
00:02:59Let's move on.
00:03:00I don't know, Abner.
00:03:02It's sealed up.
00:03:04Oh.
00:03:06Here it is.
00:03:07Well, read it, read it, read it.
00:03:09You want me to read it for you?
00:03:10Yeah, go ahead.
00:03:11I'll read it here.
00:03:12Well, I'll do it, but I never like to read other people's mail.
00:03:17I care.
00:03:18Mr. Abner Peabody, Pine Ridge, Arkansas.
00:03:22Dear Mr. Peabody,
00:03:24according to the terms of the will of your late uncle, Ernest L. Peabody,
00:03:29you have inherited complete ownership of the C&O Railroad.
00:03:34Oh, right there.
00:03:36Please call at our office to settle details at your earliest convenience.
00:03:42Yours truly, J.J. Stark.
00:03:45Stark, Stark.
00:03:46That's a familiar name.
00:03:48Move along.
00:03:49Go on.
00:03:50Hi, Granny.
00:03:51I believe I got you cornered this time, Abner.
00:03:52Ah.
00:03:53Well, guess I'll be moseying on with the mail.
00:03:56Sorry to hear about your uncle.
00:03:58Yeah.
00:03:59I'll move right there.
00:04:00Might have thought of you, Abner, to leave you a railroad.
00:04:02Right.
00:04:03Railroad?
00:04:04Jumpin' and jimmin' and crittin' it.
00:04:06Abner, you've inherited a railroad.
00:04:08Railroad?
00:04:09Word.
00:04:10Yes, sir.
00:04:11Right here.
00:04:12It is in black and white.
00:04:13Tightrope and everything.
00:04:14Everybody loves it.
00:04:15It's a railroad.
00:04:16And on.
00:04:17Thank you, Chicago and Ohio.
00:04:19Abner's inherited trains and engines.
00:04:23Abner Peabody.
00:04:24Prayers, then.
00:04:25Abner, I got a surprise for you.
00:04:27Huh?
00:04:28I brought you a present.
00:04:29A present?
00:04:30Yes.
00:04:31Well.
00:04:32What is it, now?
00:04:33Conductor's cap.
00:04:34For me?
00:04:35Why, sure.
00:04:36Well, I do know.
00:04:37That ain't on, either.
00:04:38Lookie there.
00:04:39What's that?
00:04:40It's a punch.
00:04:41A punch?
00:04:42Yeah, a conductor's got to have a punch to punch tickets with, ain't he?
00:04:44Oh, sure.
00:04:45Yeah.
00:04:46Yeah.
00:04:47But I thought I was gonna be president, now.
00:04:50Well, I know you did say that, Abner.
00:04:52And I got to studying about it.
00:04:53The president don't even get to ride on a train.
00:04:55He don't, huh?
00:04:56I know.
00:04:57He sits in an office back there in Chicago.
00:04:59Oh, well, I don't want to be president, then.
00:05:01Don't worry.
00:05:02No, sir.
00:05:03So, if you're looking for somebody to sort of take that job of president off your hands,
00:05:07I'll do it for you.
00:05:08Would you, sure enough, Lon?
00:05:10Why, sure.
00:05:11I know this hits a needle, there.
00:05:12Well, see, as I've been studying about it, Abner, I got some big ideas figured out for
00:05:16us.
00:05:17Yeah?
00:05:18Oh, yeah.
00:05:19Some of them so big they scare me.
00:05:20Well, what are they?
00:05:21What are they?
00:05:22Well, maybe I'd better sit down at my desk.
00:05:23Oh, sure.
00:05:24Yeah.
00:05:25Right there.
00:05:26That's a president's chair.
00:05:30Lon Eddard's president?
00:05:32Oh, yeah.
00:05:33All right, doggies, you do get things did in a hurry, don't you?
00:05:36I told you, you got a president now.
00:05:38Yeah, I see.
00:05:40Now, the first idea I had, Abner, we ought to run a spur line into the county seat.
00:05:45A spur line?
00:05:46Yeah, bring some of your trains down here and just run them backwards and forwards.
00:05:49Oh.
00:05:50Well, Lon, these folks ain't going to let us run trains backwards and forwards across
00:05:54their farms.
00:05:55We'll buy their farms, get what they call right-of-ways.
00:05:58Well, where do we get the money to do that with?
00:06:01I've done got that all figured out.
00:06:03Told you you had a president.
00:06:05Yeah.
00:06:06We'll sell stock to the folks here in Pine Ridge in your railroad company.
00:06:10Oh.
00:06:11Well, you reckon that's a safe invest, Lon?
00:06:14With you as conductor and me as president.
00:06:17Yeah, that's right.
00:06:19We'll make them all rich.
00:06:20Everybody a thousand there.
00:06:22That's our motto.
00:06:24Well, put her there.
00:06:25Yes, sir.
00:06:26You sure look fancy in outfits with all them stripes and everything.
00:06:30Well, see, all conductors wear them.
00:06:33Them's to show how long you've been working for the railroad.
00:06:36Oh.
00:06:37Now, Abner, do you think it's a good idea for me to put my money in this new railroad?
00:06:42I think it's the finest thing that ever hit Pine Ridge, Mamie.
00:06:46And Lon says it's a good invest.
00:06:48Well, if Lon says so, I'll take my savings out of the bank in the morning.
00:06:53Well, good for you.
00:06:54Wonderful world.
00:06:56I've been saving up a long time.
00:06:59But I know I can trust you, Lon.
00:07:02I'll guarantee you won't have no regrets, Grandma.
00:07:05$9,995.
00:07:16$10,000.
00:07:18$10,005.
00:07:20And one is $10,006.
00:07:23Well, don't you worry, Lum.
00:07:25I'll have the rights away all signed and sealed for you before you get back from Chicago.
00:07:29Well, good for you.
00:07:30We knowed we could depend on it.
00:07:32We figured a fair price for their land.
00:07:34We want this railroad to do good for everybody.
00:07:37Yes, sir.
00:07:38Everybody a thousand there.
00:07:40That's our motto.
00:07:41Yeah.
00:07:42Well, come on, Lum.
00:07:43We better get started.
00:07:44All aboard!
00:07:56Don't you ever see the likes of folks in your life?
00:07:59Yeah, the Columbia Exposition must still be going on.
00:08:03Hi, Granny.
00:08:04There's that hotel that fella on the train told us to stop at.
00:08:07That over there?
00:08:08Hotel Richmond.
00:08:09Yes, sir.
00:08:10That's it.
00:08:11Come on.
00:08:15I'm afraid this place looks a little fancy for us, Lon.
00:08:18Oh, don't be silly, Abner.
00:08:20Don't forget we're a couple of railroad executives now.
00:08:23Good morning.
00:08:24Oh, good morning.
00:08:25Good morning.
00:08:26Peabody's my name.
00:08:31You're kind of new at this, ain't you, bud?
00:08:33I've been a conductor that long.
00:08:35Yes, just...
00:08:36Call me a taxi.
00:08:38Mom, call me a taxi.
00:08:41Oh, all right.
00:08:43You're a taxi.
00:08:47Yes, sir.
00:08:55Oh, I beg your pardon.
00:08:57Have you registered?
00:08:58Oh, well, we're way under 2-0 for the draft.
00:09:01Yeah.
00:09:02Is the landlady in?
00:09:03Landlady?
00:09:04Oh, really?
00:09:05I don't think you'd feel at home here.
00:09:07Well, we weren't aiming on making our home here.
00:09:09We just want a board here for three days.
00:09:11Oh, well, have you any letter of credit or credentials?
00:09:15Credentials.
00:09:16Oh, good.
00:09:17Show him that letter you got from the lawyers, Abner.
00:09:20Oh, yeah.
00:09:21Yeah, I got that.
00:09:28There.
00:09:29Compliments to the head conductor.
00:09:31Just put your name in there if you ever want to travel.
00:09:36Why, why, thank you, Mr. Peabody.
00:09:39A thousand pardons and my compliments, Mr. Edwards.
00:09:42Welcome to the Ritz-Morris Hotel.
00:09:44Our entire staff is at your disposal.
00:09:46Well, that's mighty thoughty of you.
00:09:48But all we wanted was just this moment.
00:09:50I know exactly what you want.
00:09:51You leave everything to me.
00:09:53Now, if there's anything else we can do, anything at all.
00:09:57Maybe you could tell us how to get to this lawyer's office.
00:10:00That's the first thing we've got to do.
00:10:02Of course, of course.
00:10:03First things first, I always say.
00:10:0541, call me a taxi.
00:10:07What does everybody want to be called a taxi for?
00:10:10I'll explain that to you later.
00:10:12Now, you step right outside and you'll find your cab waiting.
00:10:15You tell the driver you want to go to the bar building.
00:10:17All right, much obliged.
00:10:18I wonder if you could watch your releases first while we're gone.
00:10:21Yes, yes, of course.
00:10:23I'll send them right up to your suite.
00:10:35What loft is it we're looking for, Norm?
00:10:3824.
00:10:39I'll never make it.
00:10:49All right, Granny Zephyr, this is worse than trying to climb Old Piney Mountain.
00:10:58Coming back, I believe it would be quicker to jump out of one of these wenders.
00:11:12It'll be as long as we ain't trying to walk up to see Uncle Ernie's family.
00:11:19Oh, dear.
00:11:29Hurry up, Ednar!
00:11:31I'm coming, I'm coming.
00:11:35Yeah, more to Fraser.
00:11:39More to Fraser.
00:11:44What store is this, Norm?
00:11:47Grannies, I've lost count, Ednar.
00:11:49You mean we gotta go clean back down the bottom and start over again?
00:11:54I reckon so.
00:11:56Swanton, goodness.
00:11:58Wait a minute.
00:12:00Grannies, no wonder we're so tired, Ednar.
00:12:03Look in there, we've climbed 2,400 floors.
00:12:082,420?
00:12:10Yeah.
00:12:12Grannies, it ought to be so much.
00:12:15Wait a minute, Ednar.
00:12:16What?
00:12:17Looky on her.
00:12:18There it is now.
00:12:19Stark and Stark, lawyers.
00:12:21Well, it's no wonder Uncle Ernie's passed away so soon.
00:12:25One trip up here would kill him.
00:12:28Well, you see, I really know nothing about this matter.
00:12:31Mr. J.J. Stark is handling it, personally.
00:12:34He'll be back in a few days.
00:12:36In a few days?
00:12:38Well, we've got to get back to Pine Ridge.
00:12:40Them folks are waiting for us.
00:12:42I'm sorry.
00:12:44Do you reckon there'd be any objections
00:12:46if me and Ednar went and looked the railroad over
00:12:48before Mr. Stark gets back?
00:12:50We won't hurt nothing on us, we won't.
00:12:52I think it'll be all right.
00:12:54Well, good.
00:12:55Now, how do we get to Horsetown?
00:12:57Well, you remember the Chicago depot you came into?
00:12:59Came into?
00:13:00Did I inherit that too?
00:13:03Well, you take a train out of there to Gold City.
00:13:06Gold City?
00:13:07Just an overnight trip, I'd say.
00:13:10There you are.
00:13:14Gold City Junction.
00:13:17So you know, huh?
00:13:19Uh-huh.
00:13:21The train rider ought to be along right now.
00:13:23Oh, yeah.
00:13:27There she comes.
00:13:33My granny's a horticut out there and flagged him down.
00:13:36Tough charge right now.
00:13:38Yes, sir.
00:13:40Yes, sir, I just can't hardly believe it.
00:13:42That's all mine.
00:13:43No.
00:13:44Yours?
00:13:45Yeah, my Uncle Ernest left it to me.
00:13:47Ernest Peabody?
00:13:48Why, sure.
00:13:49Did you know him?
00:13:51Know him?
00:13:52Used to sit around and swap lives with him.
00:13:54Well.
00:13:55Actually, he's lying right there.
00:13:56Yeah, we know it.
00:14:00All right.
00:14:01Come on, I'll show it to you.
00:14:10Yes, old Ernie was a character, all right.
00:14:12Caught at the C&O, short for Chinicoot Norville.
00:14:16That was the name of his gold mine he staked out around here
00:14:18about 50 years ago.
00:14:20Well, is this all that's left of the C&O?
00:14:24Yes, Ernie built this line to carry the ore down to Smugger.
00:14:27But most of the track's gone now.
00:14:30Well, as long as it's my property, Lum,
00:14:32I might as well look over what's left of it, I reckon.
00:14:35Yeah.
00:14:36I wouldn't go in there.
00:14:39I forgot to tell you that the steps are dropped.
00:14:41Well, there's no wonder the railroad went broke.
00:14:43Oh, what about that gold mine he owned?
00:14:45Oh, that's petered out long ago.
00:14:48That's what finished his railroad.
00:14:51Come on, Abner.
00:15:07Well, sorry to hear about your investment in those right away.
00:15:10However, your C&O line isn't a total loss.
00:15:13A salvage dealer has filed an office for the property.
00:15:16Well, good.
00:15:17How much?
00:15:18$200.
00:15:20Oh.
00:15:22Well, that'll at least get us back to Pine Ridge, Lum.
00:15:25I strongly advise that you gentlemen accept this.
00:15:28I know that it's a deal.
00:15:30It's a deal.
00:15:31I'm going to take it.
00:15:32Will you kindly sign right there, please?
00:15:34Yes, sir.
00:15:35Right there.
00:15:36Now, then, there are a few minor things to be taken care of,
00:15:39such as, well, uh, county tax, inheritance tax,
00:15:43and, of course, the usual executive's fee,
00:15:45but then you gentlemen understand that, I believe.
00:15:47Uh, how much does all that come to, Mr. Stark?
00:15:50Uh, $180.
00:15:52You mean Abner just gets $20 for his uncle's eye?
00:15:56There is an unpaid lien of $67.
00:15:59Twenty.
00:16:00Well, if that don't beat the bugs, if I...
00:16:03Uh...
00:16:04Abner, you owe him $47.
00:16:06$47? What for?
00:16:08Just hope we got enough left to pay it.
00:16:10I oughta had more sense than to put any defense in Uncle Ernie's.
00:16:14Grandpa, he bought it all us, and he's a black goat of the family.
00:16:18What he is.
00:16:19Here you are.
00:16:20Ten, 20, 30, 35, 40, 45, 46, $47.
00:16:27You know how much that leaves us, Abner?
00:16:29Ain't got the least, I...
00:16:30Fifty cents.
00:16:31Oh, uh, there is a notarizing fee.
00:16:34Fifty cents.
00:16:36Come on, Abner, let's get out of here while we can.
00:16:39Might, and I wish now Uncle Ernie hadn't of died.
00:16:44Now, how are we gonna get back to Pine Ridge?
00:16:47I don't know.
00:16:48Hike it, or hitchhike, I reckon.
00:16:50Wait a minute.
00:16:51Uh...
00:16:52Granted, we'd better telegram Squire Skimpton, tell him not to buy them rights away.
00:16:55That's right, we'd better do that, Long.
00:16:57Well, here, here, you don't aim to walk all the way down them steps, do you?
00:17:00Why, sure.
00:17:01Granted, I ain't.
00:17:02My feet are worn to a couple of nubs.
00:17:05I'm just as tired as you are, Long.
00:17:07Oh, come on, Abner, just this once, let's ride the elevator.
00:17:10No, sir, them things is too dangerous.
00:17:17Look out, Abner!
00:17:18Help!
00:17:19Help!
00:17:21Help!
00:17:24Oh.
00:17:26Are you hurt, Abner?
00:17:27Are you hurt?
00:17:28Oh.
00:17:29My legs broke.
00:17:31Which one is it?
00:17:32Oh, my right one.
00:17:33Maybe my left one.
00:17:34I don't know.
00:17:35Hold it here, will you?
00:17:36I gotta make a report.
00:17:37I told you, the elevators are not easier.
00:17:39Long, don't try to start no argument with me now.
00:17:42Careful, that's my thing.
00:17:44The superintendent of this building?
00:17:46Or just a flunky without portfolio?
00:17:48And he says...
00:17:49There's an old...
00:17:50What is it?
00:17:51What is it?
00:17:52What is it?
00:17:53Now, Pine is the...
00:17:54There's an old man fell down the stairs.
00:17:56An old man fell down the stairs.
00:17:57An old man fell down the stairs.
00:17:58Yes, yes.
00:17:59Oh, dear.
00:18:00Another damaged suit, I suppose.
00:18:01Oh, trouble, trouble.
00:18:02Oh, wait.
00:18:03Where is it?
00:18:04The 25th floor.
00:18:05The 25th floor.
00:18:06All right, all right.
00:18:08Everything happens to me.
00:18:10Listen, one thing is nothing.
00:18:11It's never nothing.
00:18:13No, Bob.
00:18:14No.
00:18:15Just a cup of water.
00:18:16Oh, thank you, ma'am.
00:18:17All right, all right.
00:18:18All right, all right.
00:18:19It's all right.
00:18:20Everything is under control.
00:18:21Now, you two, you take his shoulders.
00:18:22Yes.
00:18:23Take his shoulders.
00:18:24There we are.
00:18:25Got it?
00:18:26Not him.
00:18:27Not him.
00:18:28Him.
00:18:29Him.
00:18:30Oh, well, don't stand there gaping.
00:18:31Pick him up.
00:18:32Pick him up.
00:18:33Pick him up.
00:18:34Every moment counts.
00:18:35What's going on?
00:18:36Wait a minute.
00:18:37Put him down.
00:18:38That's my partner.
00:18:39It's all right.
00:18:40It's all right.
00:18:41We're just going to take him to a doctor's office
00:18:42for a examination, just to make sure
00:18:43that there's no damage.
00:18:44Then he can sign a release.
00:18:45Release?
00:18:46Yes, a release.
00:18:47Hold one of these.
00:18:48There.
00:18:49Now, come on.
00:18:50Now, we'll carry him to the elevator.
00:18:51Oh, no.
00:18:52I have things to do.
00:18:53Oh, excuse me.
00:18:54Two elevators.
00:18:55Oh, dear.
00:19:02How are we going to pay for this?
00:19:04Granted, I never thought about that.
00:19:06Well, what are we doing up here anyway, Long?
00:19:09I don't know.
00:19:10He brung us.
00:19:11Handed me this release, or whatever he called it.
00:19:18I guess he must have a cuckoo burned his britches.
00:19:20I've never seen such a fidgety fella in my whole life.
00:19:23Oh, dear.
00:19:24Oh, dear.
00:19:25Another five minutes wasted.
00:19:26I'm a busy man.
00:19:27I'm sorry, but the doctor is still busy with a patient.
00:19:29We'll take care of Mr. Peabody as soon as he's through.
00:19:32Oh, I hope so.
00:19:33Mr. Strauss is ready now.
00:19:35Oh, thank you.
00:19:36Who?
00:19:37Huh?
00:19:38Oh.
00:19:42The doctor's report on Mr. Strauss
00:19:44will be ready in just a few minutes.
00:19:46All right.
00:19:47All right, Mr. Peabody.
00:19:49The doctor will see you.
00:19:50Mr. Peabody.
00:19:51There we go.
00:19:52Go on.
00:19:53Where?
00:19:54Doctor's office.
00:19:55Well, Lum, I believe I feel all right.
00:19:57Come on.
00:19:58Let's get out of here.
00:19:59You better be examined while you're here.
00:20:01You might have some internal injuries.
00:20:02Oh, dear.
00:20:03I hope not.
00:20:04Now, go on.
00:20:05You get in there for goodness sake.
00:20:06Now, you know, I'm a busy man.
00:20:07Well, look what happened to that fella.
00:20:10Only the patient.
00:20:11Oh, just the patient.
00:20:17What's the latest war news, Doc?
00:20:23I don't inhale.
00:20:24Fact is, I hardly smoke at all.
00:20:27Mm-hmm.
00:20:28All right.
00:20:30Now, say 99 and keep on saying it.
00:20:3499.
00:20:3799.
00:20:3999.
00:20:42Hotter.
00:20:43Er, 99.
00:20:47How old are you?
00:20:4899.
00:20:53Did you notice any marked fluctuations in your weight lately?
00:20:57Uh, uh, come over here again, Doc.
00:20:59I believe I jumped that there.
00:21:01What's the most you ever weighed?
00:21:03Oh, uh, 138.
00:21:07Mm.
00:21:08And the least?
00:21:10138.
00:21:11138.
00:21:12138.
00:21:13138.
00:21:14138.
00:21:15138.
00:21:16138.
00:21:17138.
00:21:18138.
00:21:19138.
00:21:20138.
00:21:21And the least?
00:21:22Uh, five and a half pounds, I believe it was.
00:21:32Will you stop pacing?
00:21:33You make me nervous.
00:21:35I wasn't pacing.
00:21:36I just walked.
00:21:37Well, then, let's get in step.
00:21:41Now, will you stop typing so loud?
00:21:44I'm typing as quietly as I can.
00:21:46Well, then, type louder.
00:21:47I loathe the sneaky typewriter.
00:21:49Well, if you ever get down Pine Ridge, why, come see me, Doc.
00:21:53Oh, 23 and a half hours late?
00:21:55How wonderful.
00:21:57Boy, are you all right?
00:21:58Everything, what did he say?
00:21:59Are you hurt anywhere, Faber?
00:22:00I don't think so, Lum.
00:22:02He listened at my chest with the little telephone,
00:22:04and then he dropped a bandage around my arm and pumped me up.
00:22:08But I believe it helped my leg.
00:22:09It feels better.
00:22:10Well, good.
00:22:11Yeah.
00:22:12I miss you, too.
00:22:15So, Blanche, what was the name of that patient that just went out?
00:22:17Just a minute, dear.
00:22:19Struts.
00:22:20Struts.
00:22:21Uh-huh.
00:22:23I like that.
00:22:24And what was the name of that other patient?
00:22:26Just a minute.
00:22:27Peabody.
00:22:28Peabody.
00:22:30Oh, that would be wonderful.
00:22:33Give these to Miss Morris, please.
00:22:34Uh-huh.
00:22:35The camp is in at 8 o'clock.
00:22:37I'll be there.
00:22:42He was in there beating me on the knee with a hammer.
00:22:44What?
00:22:45Yes, sir.
00:22:46What's the matter with you?
00:22:47Nothing.
00:22:48I'm on a furlough.
00:22:53She's on a what?
00:22:54On a furlough, she said.
00:22:55I thought she was walking.
00:22:56That must be the report.
00:22:57Yes.
00:22:58There you are, Mr. Struts.
00:23:11Whoopee!
00:23:13Whoopee!
00:23:15I told you there was nothing wrong with me.
00:23:18Whoopee!
00:23:20Hey, you forgot your tricycle.
00:23:23You'd better break this to him gently.
00:23:26Oh.
00:23:29Oh, my goodness.
00:23:40Two weeks to live.
00:23:42Oh.
00:23:43Oh, grab his feet there, Abner.
00:23:45He's fainted.
00:23:46Oh, oh.
00:23:47I told you, we ain't going to have to carry him all the way
00:23:49back down them stairs, are we, Long?
00:23:51No, put him in that wheelchair there.
00:23:53Oh, oh, oh.
00:23:56Is there a doctor in the house?
00:24:02The dog is one day gone already.
00:24:04Just a week and six days left.
00:24:07Who was it, Long?
00:24:08It was a porter.
00:24:09Telegram.
00:24:10Telegram?
00:24:11Yeah.
00:24:12Long Eddard, Richmoor Hotel, Chicago, Illinois.
00:24:15Your telegram received too late.
00:24:18Have already closed for all right of way and paid out $9,980.
00:24:24Consider this a bargain.
00:24:26Squire skim.
00:24:28Granted.
00:24:30Now what are we going to do, Long?
00:24:32I don't know.
00:24:33We can't get out of here.
00:24:34We can't even pay our hotel bill.
00:24:36Well, I want to go back to Pine Ridge, Long.
00:24:39If I'm going to die, that's where I want to do it.
00:24:41We can't go back to Pine Ridge, Edmund.
00:24:43We're going to have to pay back all them investors.
00:24:46That was their life savings.
00:24:48Well, I'm lonesome here, Long.
00:24:51I'm here, ain't I?
00:24:53Well, yeah.
00:24:54A dog can have fleas and still be lonesome, can't he?
00:25:02Ain't you going to answer it?
00:25:04I just happen to think that ain't our ring.
00:25:06Well, ring them again, then.
00:25:08Yes, of course.
00:25:10Mr. Fleming, I do hope we can keep this thing out of court.
00:25:12Now, how high do you think we ought to go to get a release?
00:25:15Well, it's a pretty serious case.
00:25:17You might start with $5,000.
00:25:19Say, this is silly.
00:25:21Hang on.
00:25:22But I...
00:25:23Don't you understand?
00:25:24You give them big ideas if you go after them.
00:25:26Now just sit tight and wait until they come to you.
00:25:29You're right.
00:25:31You're right.
00:25:32No, no, no.
00:25:33No, no, no, no.
00:25:34Catch Hanson-Willoughby's wrong number.
00:25:36No, sir, Abner.
00:25:37We've got to raise $10,000 somewhere or other.
00:25:40Long, I've got enough worries of my own without thinking about that thing.
00:25:44Well, sit down and rest, Abner.
00:25:46Here, read the paper for a while.
00:25:48Oh, Long, I can't concentrate on that.
00:25:51I wish I was in Pine Ridge.
00:25:53That's what I wish.
00:25:59For the lamb's sakes!
00:26:01What's the matter?
00:26:02That article in there.
00:26:04Death and taxes.
00:26:05I can't get away from it, Long.
00:26:07Well, read a book.
00:26:08Read something there.
00:26:09Oh, Long, I don't want to read nothing.
00:26:11I'd rather just...
00:26:17For the lamb's sakes.
00:26:20Doggie, let me turn that radio on.
00:26:22Get a little music in here.
00:26:26Ah, Doggie, that's a...
00:26:29Have you selected your last resting place
00:26:32in beautiful Birch Lawn?
00:26:35Right?
00:26:36That's flaming anyway.
00:26:37I can't stand it, Long.
00:26:39Control yourself, Abner.
00:26:40Come on.
00:26:41You need to lay down and get some rest.
00:26:42Come on.
00:26:43Well, Long, I'm going to get catched up on that laying down business.
00:26:46I'd rather stay on my feet as long as I can.
00:26:50You know, as sick as I am,
00:26:52I never felt better in my life.
00:26:56A man seeks a little thing to do.
00:26:59Sees it and does it.
00:27:01A high man with great things to pursue
00:27:04dies there he knows it.
00:27:06Browning.
00:27:08No, Lum Eddards is my name.
00:27:10What's in a name?
00:27:11A rose by any other smells and so forth.
00:27:14Shakespeare.
00:27:15Come on in, Mr. Shakespeare.
00:27:17Oh, thank you.
00:27:18Come in, Rover.
00:27:19Attaboy.
00:27:20Rover?
00:27:21Yes, that's my dog.
00:27:23He's dead, but he's with me in spirit.
00:27:25I know just how you feel.
00:27:27I had a dog myself once.
00:27:30Now, Grannies, that's kind of dangerous work, ain't it?
00:27:32That window washing?
00:27:33Dangerous?
00:27:34Well, maybe.
00:27:35But it pays good.
00:27:37If you want to advance,
00:27:38you've got to take a chance.
00:27:39Else you get it in the pants.
00:27:41Giftful.
00:27:42Yours truly.
00:27:43Now, Grannies, that's pretty good.
00:27:45Thanks.
00:27:46Yeah, that's the way jobs are.
00:27:47The more dangerous, the more they pay.
00:27:49Now, take that flagpole on top of that building, for instance.
00:27:52They'll pay $500 for a paint job on that.
00:27:55But that's not for me.
00:27:57It's a jinx pole.
00:27:58Is it?
00:27:59Yes, sir.
00:28:00It sways in the breeze.
00:28:02Confidentially, three guys got jinxed trying to earn that 500.
00:28:06No more takers.
00:28:07That pole still needs painting.
00:28:10It does?
00:28:11Mm-hmm.
00:28:13Now, Grannies, there's a lot of poles out there need painting, ain't there?
00:28:16Yes, sir.
00:28:17This ain't a one-flag town.
00:28:19This ain't a one-flag town.
00:28:21Old glory's unfoiled all around.
00:28:24$500, huh?
00:28:26That's right.
00:28:27Mom, I can't sleep.
00:28:28I just laid in that.
00:28:29Adderall, I want you to shake hands.
00:28:30What's he doing here?
00:28:31You don't know it, but Terstan's a friend of ours.
00:28:34Well.
00:28:35Omar Tennyson Gimple.
00:28:36Greetings.
00:28:37I'll be looking forward to other meetings.
00:28:39He writes poetry.
00:28:41Ah, Rover, come over here.
00:28:43That's his dog.
00:28:45Are you going to be with us long?
00:28:47About two weeks, I reckon.
00:28:49Well, I hope you enjoy Chicago.
00:28:51Word of the dog.
00:28:52It's his spirit.
00:28:53Like the poets say.
00:28:54You wouldn't understand.
00:28:55Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you may die.
00:28:58Huh?
00:28:59Tomorrow?
00:29:00Uh, Abner, if a fella knowed he's going to die pretty soon, it wouldn't make much difference
00:29:04to him when he died or how he died, would it?
00:29:07I ain't thought much about that, Mom.
00:29:09Well, for instance, if this fella owed some folks back home a lot of money and he had
00:29:12a chance to take a job that paid real good, he ought to take it, oughtn't he?
00:29:17I reckon so.
00:29:18Ah, Granny's put her there.
00:29:20You don't know it, but you've just become a flagpole painter.
00:29:23Flagpole?
00:29:24Oh, no, I ain't getting up on one of them things, no, sir.
00:29:27Wait a minute, Abner.
00:29:28If I was in your position, I wouldn't hesitate a minute.
00:29:30Long, getting up high makes me dizzy, and it ain't a thing of doing.
00:29:35You and your invisible dog.
00:29:43Let me down, Long.
00:29:44It's dangerous.
00:29:45If I was to fall down that street one of them cars would run over me and just shore the world.
00:29:50Long, stay up there, Abner.
00:29:51Ain't nothing to be scared of.
00:29:52Look at me.
00:29:53I ain't nervous a bit.
00:29:54Long, you ain't up here neither.
00:29:56Long, get the painting up there.
00:29:58Long, clean up to the top.
00:30:00Well, Long, let me down.
00:30:01Let me down now, Long.
00:30:02Look out, Abner.
00:30:03Look what you're doing.
00:30:04Mind out.
00:30:05Oh!
00:30:06Look out, Long.
00:30:07Grab that rope.
00:30:08Grab that rope.
00:30:09Oh!
00:30:13You really don't understand what they mean by a jinxed pole, huh?
00:30:18I've always wanted to pull a lucky number off of one of them punch boards.
00:30:23Oh!
00:30:25Hello, Mr. Edwards.
00:30:27Hello.
00:30:28Er...
00:30:29Oh, hello, Mr. Gimple.
00:30:30Come on in.
00:30:31Well, thank you.
00:30:32Come on over.
00:30:34Oh.
00:30:35Well, how's everything with you and your partner?
00:30:37Not so good.
00:30:38He's in there asleep now.
00:30:39We ain't getting no work.
00:30:41Hotel bills are piling up on us.
00:30:43That's too bad.
00:30:45That's life.
00:30:46It's full of strife and, uh, jive.
00:30:49Jive?
00:30:50No, but it rhymes.
00:30:51Oh.
00:30:52Are you still looking for risky jobs with payday?
00:30:55Yeah.
00:30:56Do you know of any more?
00:30:57No.
00:30:58Oh.
00:30:59But you could advertise.
00:31:00Advertise?
00:31:01Like in newspapers?
00:31:03That's right.
00:31:04Well, granted, it sounds like a good idea.
00:31:06An ad in a column might get results in full volume.
00:31:10Sounds good.
00:31:11Glad to compose it for you.
00:31:13Strong prose is my weakness.
00:31:37Yeah, I'm here to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
00:31:39Shh.
00:31:40I am the new Dr. Jekyll.
00:31:45You see this?
00:31:46This is the key that opens my prison door.
00:31:50It frees my other self.
00:31:52It loses my animal that is in me.
00:31:55It is in you.
00:31:56It is in you.
00:31:57I ain't got no such thing in me.
00:32:00Well, what is it you want Abner to do?
00:32:03I know it will change me into my animal self.
00:32:07But I am not so sure that it will change me back again.
00:32:12So I want him for my guinea pig.
00:32:16Guinea pig?
00:32:17You ain't going to make no kind of animal out of me.
00:32:27Hey you, come here.
00:32:28Come here.
00:32:29Come here.
00:32:30Where did me and Plato find him?
00:32:31Plato?
00:32:32Yeah, that's Plato.
00:32:33Put it down.
00:32:34Put it down.
00:32:38He's always clowning.
00:32:39Clowning?
00:32:40A great act though.
00:32:41He's the only girl in the world that doesn't adore him.
00:32:43Yeah.
00:32:44He throws his partner 20 feet in the air.
00:32:46Mister, it's beautiful.
00:32:48The only trouble is we keep running out of partners.
00:32:50Partners?
00:32:51Say, what room did you say that Peabody guy was in?
00:32:53He's in 713.
00:32:56Oh.
00:32:57Wait a minute.
00:32:58Wait a minute.
00:32:59Take him out.
00:33:00Take this king kong out of here.
00:33:01What's the matter?
00:33:02You're in a hurry?
00:33:03What do you get?
00:33:04Well, get him out of here.
00:33:05Good idea.
00:33:06Oh my goodness.
00:33:10Now wait a minute, Abner.
00:33:11It's just an experiment.
00:33:12Besides, he says he'll pay good.
00:33:15Looky there.
00:33:16There ain't nothing to it.
00:33:19That looks good.
00:33:21I wouldn't mind drinking some of that myself.
00:33:23Would you, Abner?
00:33:25Abner.
00:33:26He must have went in there.
00:33:27Where is my guinea pig?
00:33:29Where is my guinea pig?
00:33:31Where is my guinea pig?
00:33:32All right, Plato.
00:33:33Now sit down and be quiet.
00:33:37Where's this Peabody guy?
00:33:38Hey, Peabody.
00:33:40Where is everybody?
00:33:41Hey, Peabody.
00:33:43Hey, anybody in here?
00:33:48Abner.
00:33:49Where abouts you at, Abner?
00:33:55Lom.
00:33:57Oh, Lom, you ought not to have drunk it.
00:34:01Lom.
00:34:02Lom.
00:34:03Speak to me, Lom.
00:34:04Speak to me.
00:34:05Lom.
00:34:06Now, don't do that, Lom.
00:34:07Don't do that now.
00:34:08Don't.
00:34:10Lom.
00:34:11Oh, Lom.
00:34:12Oh, Lom.
00:34:13Don't.
00:34:14Abner.
00:34:15Abner.
00:34:16Well, good for you.
00:34:18Well, you took their stuff.
00:34:19Well, good for you.
00:34:21Well, good for you.
00:34:23Well, you took their stuff, huh?
00:34:24Dr. Jekyll, it works.
00:34:26Look.
00:34:27Oh, my formalities of success.
00:34:29Wait here.
00:34:30I'll go and get another partner to bring Lou back.
00:34:33Wait.
00:34:34I'll be back soon.
00:34:37Abner.
00:34:38Abner.
00:34:39Come here.
00:34:40Come here.
00:34:41Sit down over there.
00:34:42Sit down.
00:34:43Did I tell you to sit down over there?
00:34:44Don't talk to him like that.
00:34:45That's my partner.
00:34:46Your partner?
00:34:47You've been my partner for seven years.
00:34:48Abner, tell him whose partner you are.
00:34:49Well, I was yours, but I ain't gonna be if you don't...
00:34:52Abner.
00:34:53Or Ab...
00:34:54Whichever one's you.
00:34:56I thought that was you.
00:34:57No, that's you.
00:34:59No, it ain't me.
00:35:01The last will of Abner Foddy.
00:35:05Grandpappy Spears.
00:35:07Nothing.
00:35:08He keeps a checker.
00:35:10Law matters.
00:35:11Let's see.
00:35:12Now, what can I leave old Lom?
00:35:16And old Abner House used to open there.
00:35:19Yes.
00:35:20Alone.
00:35:21And you'll pay him $1,000?
00:35:22Yes, if...
00:35:23Of course, there's an if in it.
00:35:25If what?
00:35:26If you're alive in the morning.
00:35:28Oh.
00:35:29Oh, but he will be.
00:35:31I don't believe the house is really haunted.
00:35:34Haunted?
00:35:35Now, just a minute, Abner.
00:35:36We need that $1,000.
00:35:38Go ahead, Miss Carmen.
00:35:40You see, the legend about the house has kept us from selling it for years.
00:35:44But now I have a buyer for it.
00:35:46If I can prove that...
00:35:48Never mind.
00:35:49Prove what, Miss Carmen?
00:35:51My grandfather died a sudden and strange death in that house.
00:35:55And since that time, anyone who stays alone all night in his room...
00:36:00Well...
00:36:01How many has it been so far?
00:36:03Only five.
00:36:04See there, Abner, just five.
00:36:06And I'm sure it wasn't the ghosts that got them.
00:36:08It was just their imagination.
00:36:11Just their imagination, huh?
00:36:13Yes.
00:36:14I reckon they just imagine they're dead, too.
00:36:17Oh, no.
00:36:18I don't like ghosts, and I ain't gonna have nothing to do with them.
00:36:22And that is final.
00:36:24I'm sorry.
00:36:26Well, if you gentlemen should change your mind, you can call me.
00:36:31Oh, thank you.
00:36:32Oh, here's your handkerchief.
00:36:34Oh, that's very gallant of you, Mr. Edwards.
00:36:38Oh, not at all, not at all.
00:36:40I'll try to talk him into it.
00:36:42Oh, then I can expect to see you again soon.
00:36:45Perhaps dinner and dancing.
00:36:47I'd love to.
00:36:49Goodbye, for now.
00:36:51Goodbye.
00:36:55Hey, Granny Zephner, I believe she admires me.
00:36:58Ah, the land, say.
00:37:00She does, I can tell.
00:37:02Pretty, pretty.
00:37:03And we're going to a dance, too.
00:37:06Sort of warm out this evening, ain't it, Miss Carman?
00:37:10Did anybody ever tell you you're beautiful?
00:37:12No.
00:37:13Is this you, Abner Peabody?
00:37:15Oh, no, that's my partner.
00:37:16I got a great spot for him.
00:37:17I'll pay him $5,000 a half a gate.
00:37:19We'll take the $5,000.
00:37:21We don't want no gate.
00:37:22Oh, you got me wrong, chum.
00:37:24What is it you want him to do?
00:37:25A deathly.
00:37:27Abner!
00:37:28No!
00:37:29I'll explain to this neighbor.
00:37:30It won't take a minute.
00:37:31Just a minute there, pal.
00:37:32I ain't going to do it.
00:37:33How do you know, Abner?
00:37:34You don't know what it is, do you?
00:37:35Plum, I told you, I ain't.
00:37:38What do you think?
00:37:39Ah, I'll explain it, Mac.
00:37:41The name is Higgins.
00:37:42It's a little minute, Higgins, they call me in my profession.
00:37:44Now, you're crowding me, neighbor.
00:37:46Now, this deathly business, there's nothing to it, see?
00:37:48It's a gimmick.
00:37:49It's for the chump, for the monkeys outside.
00:37:51Now, all you have to do is go up on a big planter set, see?
00:37:53You walk up on the corner, and you've got a big thing strapped around you
00:37:56with a harp and hen and canister.
00:37:57Now, I'll explain it to this neighbor.
00:37:59It won't take a minute.
00:38:00You've got a big thing strapped around you with a harp and hen and canister,
00:38:02and out here is a big mountain.
00:38:03When they pull you up and you come down, nothing can happen, you understand?
00:38:08Well, you put that in writing.
00:38:10Transfer from one plane to another in midair.
00:38:16I don't deserve one stunt.
00:38:18I've always wanted to see one.
00:38:20Now, I'm going to be up there where I can't watch it.
00:38:22Well, I'll explain it to you when you come back.
00:38:24All right, Peabody, your time's come.
00:38:26Uh-huh, it's your turn.
00:38:29Come on, we're waiting for the finale.
00:38:31Oh, well, uh, uh, let's postpone this.
00:38:34Let's talk to Mr. Higgins, Long.
00:38:37He's not around.
00:38:38Come on, your plane is all warmed up.
00:38:40Yeah, and we'll all be over in just a few minutes, Abner.
00:38:43All right.
00:38:48Come on, get in there.
00:38:49We've done something over a dozen times.
00:38:55All right, get the thing started before he gets out of there.
00:38:59All right.
00:39:12Hey, hey, get out of the way.
00:39:15Put your foot out there.
00:39:17Come on.
00:39:18Yes.
00:39:21Here, wait a minute.
00:39:22You'd better not get out on him.
00:39:23That's it.
00:39:24Look out.
00:39:27Just get out of here.
00:39:28Hey, wait a minute.
00:39:29Help, help, help, help.
00:39:32Oh, my goodness.
00:39:33Careful, Abner.
00:39:34Careful.
00:39:39Help, Tom.
00:39:43We've got a team going up here.
00:39:45Tell them to get away.
00:39:55I can't hold on to this thing.
00:39:56It's wet.
00:39:57It's slippery.
00:39:59Help.
00:40:01Butterfingers.
00:40:02Butterfingers?
00:40:03He never fell.
00:40:04Let me down.
00:40:05Let's go down.
00:40:06I've changed my mind.
00:40:07I'll hold it still now.
00:40:08Go.
00:40:09Help.
00:40:10Abner, be careful.
00:40:12Hey, Tom.
00:40:13Tom.
00:40:14Help me, Tom.
00:40:19I can't hold on to this thing.
00:40:20Get down from here.
00:40:21Get me down and hit the ground.
00:40:23If I ever get my hands on that crook, I'm...
00:40:25What am I going to do?
00:40:26I'm stranded.
00:40:27Tell Mr. Higgins we'll take half the gig.
00:40:29I'm sorry, Mr. Edwards.
00:40:30Mr. Higgins is gone.
00:40:32Gone?
00:40:33Where to?
00:40:34That's what we'd all like to know.
00:40:35Don't you get it, sucker?
00:40:36Higgins is gone with the dough.
00:40:37He's taken it on the lam.
00:40:39He's skermooched.
00:40:40Courage, my friends.
00:40:41Don't take it too hard.
00:40:42Remember the words of the immortal bard.
00:40:44Who steals my purse steals trash.
00:40:46Tis nothing.
00:40:47Nothing?
00:40:48It was $5,000.
00:40:50Looker, erstwhile filthy...
00:40:52Say, speaking of Looker, you overlooked something.
00:40:55The bar building.
00:40:56Ah.
00:40:57Those stairs you fell down were soapy, weren't they?
00:40:59That makes the building owners liable.
00:41:01They owe you for damages.
00:41:02I agree.
00:41:03That's right, Abner.
00:41:04Come on.
00:41:05Let's get over and collect it.
00:41:06Mr. Edwards, you'd better go alone.
00:41:08The part of the first part is supposed to be non-compass,
00:41:10uh, compass, uh, physicalis.
00:41:12Oh, yeah.
00:41:13Sure.
00:41:14That's right.
00:41:15You write that Mr. Edwards is OK to represent you.
00:41:18You know, I'd like it if it were all right
00:41:20if it weren't for that invisible dog.
00:41:22Well, what's wrong with his dog?
00:41:24I'm scared to death all the time I'm going to step on him.
00:41:27Say what?
00:41:29Just write.
00:41:31All right, doggies.
00:41:32Lum, don't you reckon we ought to get a lawyer
00:41:34to handle this first?
00:41:35With Mr. Gimple here to advise us?
00:41:38I'm just as the peace down home used to handling legal matters.
00:41:42Well, about all you ever do, Lum,
00:41:44is do some marrying or try somebody
00:41:46for killing a deer out of season or something.
00:41:48I'll phone the superintendent of the bar building
00:41:51for an appointment.
00:41:52Ah.
00:41:53Hello?
00:41:54Give me the bar building.
00:41:55No, no, no, not the bar.
00:41:56The bar building.
00:41:57But, Mr. Fleming, we're not dealing with small fry now.
00:42:01There's someone else in the picture.
00:42:03Their financial advisor.
00:42:05I'm offering $10,000 to start with
00:42:07and then go on from there.
00:42:09But don't be too...
00:42:11Oh!
00:42:12Oh, Mr. Edwards.
00:42:15How are you?
00:42:16Fine.
00:42:17How are you?
00:42:18Shake hands with Mr. Fleming.
00:42:19Well, how do you do?
00:42:20Sit down.
00:42:21Thank you, your acquaintance.
00:42:22That's how it is.
00:42:23Sit down, Mr. Edwards.
00:42:24Sit down.
00:42:25There.
00:42:26How are you?
00:42:27Oh, pardon me.
00:42:28I just asked you that, didn't I?
00:42:29I wasn't the one that was hurt.
00:42:31No.
00:42:32No.
00:42:33Now, about this settlement, Mr. Edwards,
00:42:37have you considered any definite amount?
00:42:39Well, I want you fellas to know
00:42:41I'm sort of used to dealing in big figures.
00:42:43Oh, quite so.
00:42:45Of course, I understand that.
00:42:47Now, suppose I start with
00:42:51ten.
00:42:52Ten?
00:42:53Yes.
00:42:54Ten.
00:42:55I think that's a very fair offer.
00:42:56Sounds right measly to me.
00:42:57Chicken feed.
00:42:59Well, I could go as high as
00:43:01twelve.
00:43:02Twelve?
00:43:03My grannies, I believe we'd do better by carrying it to court.
00:43:06Oh, now.
00:43:07Now, don't be hasty, Mr. Edwards.
00:43:09Well, then, if you'll just give us some idea of...
00:43:13Well, I've been sort of turning it over in my mind.
00:43:17Seventy-five dollars is my price.
00:43:20Yes, sir.
00:43:21But did you say seventy-five dollars?
00:43:25Well, sixty-five then, but not a cent less.
00:43:29And cash money, too.
00:43:31Well, you certainly drive a hard bargain, Mr. Edwards.
00:43:35Well, like I told you,
00:43:37I'm sort of used to dealing in big figures.
00:43:41Hi, Granny Zebner, I've got sixty-five dollars.
00:43:43Sixty-five dollars?
00:43:45Yes, sir.
00:43:46Is that all?
00:43:47Is that all?
00:43:48He tried to get me to take ten, but that's too sharp for him.
00:43:51How do you do?
00:43:54I'm from the Classified Ad Agency.
00:43:56You owe us sixty-four dollars and fifty cents
00:43:58for the ad you took out of the morning papers, sir.
00:44:00Sixty-five, did you say?
00:44:02Thank you very much.
00:44:03Here's fifty cents change,
00:44:06and your receipt, all made out.
00:44:08Thank you again, gentlemen.
00:44:10Not at all.
00:44:11Not at all.
00:44:12We ought to have a collector like him down at the Jotham Downs store.
00:44:16It wouldn't hurt nothing.
00:44:18Well, we got this out of it anyway.
00:44:21Uh-oh.
00:44:23That's our ring, ain't it?
00:44:25I don't know, I never paid no attention.
00:44:28Jotham Downs, I mean Lum Eddards talking.
00:44:31Hi, Doggy Plum, I found a dime in a lipstick.
00:44:34Who?
00:44:35Well, good.
00:44:36Hold her there for me.
00:44:37I mean, tell her to wait there for me.
00:44:39I'll be right down.
00:44:40Yeah, much obliged.
00:44:43Oh, good afternoon, Mr. Edwards.
00:44:45Where is she?
00:44:46I mean, Miss Corman.
00:44:47Oh, she's in the grill room having lunch.
00:44:49I suppose you want some flowers sent in?
00:44:51Flowers?
00:44:52Oh, yes, that would be nice, but,
00:44:55to tell you the truth, I'm a little short of cash right now.
00:44:57Why, that's all right.
00:44:59Just charge it on the bill.
00:45:01Anything else, whatever it is, we'll pay for it.
00:45:03Flowers, theater tickets, ballet service.
00:45:06And you'll pay for it?
00:45:07Yes, just Ritz-Morris service.
00:45:09And by the way, there's a fine play at the Grand Theater.
00:45:13I'm sure your lady friend would love it.
00:45:15My lady?
00:45:16Yes.
00:45:17Oh.
00:45:18You reckon she would?
00:45:19Sure enough.
00:45:20They all do.
00:45:21The play's the thing, you know.
00:45:22Did you bring your dinner clothes?
00:45:23No, I just eat and eat.
00:45:25Eat it?
00:45:26Yes.
00:45:27But you wouldn't like to sit in the box without a tuxedo.
00:45:30Oh, no.
00:45:31Of course not.
00:45:32All right, I'll have the tailor call on you.
00:45:34Tailor?
00:45:35Just Ritz-Morris service.
00:45:36Oh.
00:45:37Maybe you better have him go up and take
00:45:40Mr. Peabody's measurements, too.
00:45:42Well.
00:45:43And while you're at it, get him one of them boxes.
00:45:45I certainly will.
00:45:46We'll take care of everything.
00:45:47Theater ticket, please.
00:45:58So you think I'm the executive type?
00:46:00Oh, yes.
00:46:01And so trustworthy.
00:46:03Oh, yes.
00:46:05Oh.
00:46:06I don't care for Duke.
00:46:09Here, I'll fight it for you.
00:46:11Oh, thank you.
00:46:19Yeah.
00:46:20Excuse me.
00:46:21Awkward, ain't it?
00:46:25I want to confide in you, Mr. Edwards.
00:46:29Couldn't you just call me Lone?
00:46:32Lone.
00:46:33Yeah, it sounds better.
00:46:36I want you to help me, Lone.
00:46:39I've simply got to sell that house.
00:46:41You see, Mother's so ill, and I need some money now desperately.
00:46:48Bless your heart.
00:46:50Bless your little heart.
00:46:52I know just how you feel.
00:46:54You will speak to Mr. Peabody, won't you?
00:46:56You've simply got to help me prove the house isn't haunted.
00:46:59Well, you're not, fair lady, the deed is as good as dead.
00:47:02Oh, don't.
00:47:03Oh, Miss Carmen, I want you to meet my friend, Mr. Gimple.
00:47:06Ah, Rover, get away from the lady.
00:47:08Oh, hello, Rover.
00:47:10Never seen you jump in.
00:47:11Here.
00:47:12Sit up, bird.
00:47:13Speak.
00:47:14It's your time.
00:47:16Oh, that's Mr. Gimple's dog.
00:47:20Well, he ain't showing up there.
00:47:22Well, he is there, but he ain't...
00:47:25You wouldn't understand about that.
00:47:27But we'll talk to him.
00:47:29Don't you worry a minute.
00:47:30Mr. Gimple's pretty good with words.
00:47:32Say some words for her, Mr. Gimple.
00:47:34Sure.
00:47:35Words, words.
00:47:37Like fleeting birds.
00:47:38Some are sweet and some are sour.
00:47:40Some are...
00:47:41Some are...
00:47:42Maybe it's winter.
00:47:43Charming.
00:47:45I think it smells.
00:47:46Well, thank you.
00:47:48We'll talk to Abner and we'll talk him into it.
00:47:51Now, don't you worry.
00:47:52Wait a minute.
00:47:53I'll climb up the fire escape with you.
00:47:54Mom, haven't you forgotten something?
00:47:57Huh?
00:47:58Oh, excuse me.
00:48:00Excuse me.
00:48:01Silly of me, isn't it?
00:48:03Something else.
00:48:05Oh, yeah, yeah, that's a good idea.
00:48:08Well, goodbye, and I'll let you know how we come out.
00:48:11Come on, Grover.
00:48:12Up she goes.
00:48:14It's her time.
00:48:15Dad, I just called to tell you I've made arrangements for your box.
00:48:19Box?
00:48:20Already?
00:48:21Yes, Mr. Edwards ordered it.
00:48:23I know you'll enjoy the view.
00:48:25Well, all right.
00:48:27Send it up.
00:48:30Enjoy.
00:48:31I don't get that long dressing things too much around here.
00:48:35I'm supposed to live till the 17th.
00:48:39Come in.
00:48:40Good morning, good morning, good morning.
00:48:42Mr. Peabody.
00:48:44Mr. Peabody.
00:48:46I do, Mr. Peabody.
00:48:48Mr. Edwards sent me up.
00:48:49I'm to take your measurements.
00:48:51Measurements?
00:48:52Does a fellow have to be measured for something like this?
00:48:55But of course.
00:48:56You want the perfect fit, don't you?
00:48:57So all the people will say, look at him.
00:48:59Doesn't he look beautiful?
00:49:04How long do you want your legs?
00:49:06Well, I'll need them for a day or two, yeah.
00:49:11Thirty-one.
00:49:13Now, if you'll hold your arms in front of your chest, thus.
00:49:19Hi, doggies, wait a minute.
00:49:20This measurement business has went far enough around here.
00:49:24Now, you get out of here, and don't come back till the 17th.
00:49:27Go on, get out, get on out of here.
00:49:32I'll be back on that day.
00:49:33Well, just get out of here now.
00:49:35I'm getting sick and tired of you fellows trying to tell me how to die around here.
00:49:39Downs?
00:49:40Going up or down?
00:49:42Oh, I won't know till the 17th.
00:49:44We can't wait, brother.
00:49:50Is that it?
00:49:51Yes, sir.
00:49:52Does this belong to you, professor?
00:49:54I reckon so.
00:49:56I'm afraid they got it a little broad across the chest for me, though.
00:50:00What studio do you want this harp took to?
00:50:03Harp?
00:50:04Is there a harp in there?
00:50:05Well, what did you think we had in there?
00:50:07A dead body?
00:50:08Well, no, not dead.
00:50:11Well, I never know if they sent you harps in advance.
00:50:14Well, here, you better bring it on inside and let me get started practicing on it then.
00:50:18I don't want to get up there and not know how to play.
00:50:21This is the room right here.
00:50:23Ah, look out for that last step.
00:50:30For goodness sakes, where'd you get that thing?
00:50:33Oh, they sent it to me, Long.
00:50:35Who's they?
00:50:36You know, they.
00:50:38Ah, music is the food and leaven for mortal passage into heaven.
00:50:43Burns.
00:50:44Oh, no, shellac.
00:50:45Well, I don't care who it is.
00:50:46And stop playing that thing, Evan, or I want to talk business with you.
00:50:49Tell Miss Carmen about sleeping in that haunted house.
00:50:51No.
00:50:59Here's a chance to make $1,000.
00:51:01No.
00:51:03Hello, Abner.
00:51:04No.
00:51:06Why, Elmer Kelton.
00:51:08Long, look who's here.
00:51:09Why, you old scallywag, you.
00:51:11Proud to see you.
00:51:13What a fancy place.
00:51:15Oh, yeah, it's right comfort, I reckon.
00:51:18My wife's grandma masters and all the folks down home.
00:51:21What do you care, you swindler?
00:51:23Swindler?
00:51:24Huh?
00:51:25What about this railroad?
00:51:26Oh, why, we went out and looked at it.
00:51:29It was just a pile of junk, Elmer.
00:51:32Well, just to be honest, we're flat broke.
00:51:34Broke?
00:51:35Hmm.
00:51:36And staying at a place like this.
00:51:38That's the honest truth, Elmer.
00:51:40Yeah?
00:51:41You ain't fooling us, Long Meadards.
00:51:44And you're going to pay back every cent that we invested in that phony railroad of yours?
00:51:49Oh, we're setting the law on you.
00:51:51Well, now, wait a minute, Elmer.
00:51:53Elmer, come back here.
00:51:55I don't believe he feels good.
00:51:57Yeah, so that's what the folks back home's thinking about us, huh?
00:52:01Must be.
00:52:02Abner, we've got to raise that $10,000 somewhere or other.
00:52:06Well, all right, Long.
00:52:08Where's that house you want me to haunt?
00:52:10Or that haunted house you want me to sleep in?
00:52:12Good for you, Abner.
00:52:13I knowed you wasn't scared of ghosts.
00:52:15Well, I never said that, but I'll go after her.
00:52:18I'll call Miss Carmen right now.
00:52:20Oh.
00:52:21You're one, Mr. Edwards.
00:52:24Oh, yes, you are.
00:52:28All right.
00:52:30Oh, really?
00:52:32Well, then I'll come down to your hotel room this afternoon and give you the final instruction.
00:52:38Mr. Edwards, you shouldn't say things like that.
00:52:43Oh, all right.
00:52:45I'll see you this afternoon.
00:52:47Aye, Granny.
00:52:49Goodbye.
00:52:51Aye, Granny?
00:52:53What does that mean?
00:52:54I don't know.
00:52:55The little guy finally came through.
00:52:56You'd better clear out, darling.
00:52:58I still don't like it, Madge.
00:53:00I hope there's no slip-up.
00:53:02Now, look.
00:53:03Let's go over this whole thing again.
00:53:06The little guy gets to the house at 4 o'clock.
00:53:09He's carrying the violin case.
00:53:11The violin case is locked.
00:53:14And inside is the time bomb set for 4.10.
00:53:18Now, when that goes off, nobody will know who he was.
00:53:21Nothing wrong with that.
00:53:23Well, I hope you're right.
00:53:25Naturally, everyone will think one of your experiments exploded,
00:53:28especially when they find your identification bracelet on his wrist.
00:53:31So, I'll act like a widow, collect your insurance,
00:53:35and meet you in six months.
00:53:37What about Edwards?
00:53:39I'll handle him.
00:53:41Now, go ahead.
00:53:42Get out of town and hurry up.
00:53:43And don't write.
00:53:45I still don't get it.
00:53:46Just what?
00:53:47What does this, aye, Granny's, mean?
00:53:51You won't have her out there at the house at 4 o'clock, huh?
00:53:54Mm-hmm.
00:53:55Alone.
00:53:56Oh, he'll be by himself.
00:53:57I'll see to that.
00:53:58And what is it you want us to do with this?
00:54:00Oh, that's a very rare old instrument.
00:54:02I've wanted it for such a long time.
00:54:04And today, the antique shop finally got it for me.
00:54:07Well, good.
00:54:08And I thought, as long as Mr. Peabody's going out to the house anyway,
00:54:12perhaps he wouldn't mind taking it out there for me.
00:54:15Why, of course not.
00:54:16He'd be proud to do that, wouldn't you, Eb?
00:54:18Ah.
00:54:19But you must be very careful with it, Mr. Peabody.
00:54:22After all, it's a Stradivarius.
00:54:25I thought you said it was a fiddle.
00:54:28Oh, and I think you'd better wear this, too.
00:54:31Ah.
00:54:32Oh, no, I don't want to wear an old woman's bracelet.
00:54:35Oh, please, Mr. Peabody.
00:54:37It's a good luck charm to keep the ghost away.
00:54:40Oh.
00:54:41Well, I'll wear anything to keep them things away.
00:54:44I was just thinking, Miss Carmen, while Ebner's out the house,
00:54:47why don't me and you go for a ride in a canoe?
00:54:50Canoeing?
00:54:51Yeah, they got some dandy canoes out at Lincoln Park.
00:54:54Two bits an hour.
00:54:56Oh, I'd love to go.
00:54:58I'll be there about 4 o'clock.
00:55:00If I'm a little late.
00:55:02Wait for me.
00:55:03Oh, sure, of course I'll wait.
00:55:05Oh, well, you're sure of that address now?
00:55:08Yes, ma'am.
00:55:09Uh, 820 West, uh...
00:55:12Laurel.
00:55:13The name of a tree.
00:55:14Oh, yeah, I know this story to what the hell.
00:55:17Yeah, I got it.
00:55:18Well, goodbye.
00:55:20Goodbye.
00:55:26Oh, I never heard my watch tick as loud as it does today.
00:55:40Say, Sonny, uh, can you tell me where 820 West, uh...
00:55:46Uh...
00:55:47820 West what?
00:55:49Oh, do you know any streets around here that's got names like trees?
00:55:53Yep, there's lots of them.
00:55:54There's Oaks, Sycamore, Cedar, Elm, Maple...
00:55:57Yeah, that's it, that's it, Elm.
00:55:59I knowed it started with a L.
00:56:01How far is that from here?
00:56:03I got to be there at 4 o'clock.
00:56:05Four?
00:56:06You won't make it walking.
00:56:08Why not?
00:56:09We got out of school at three.
00:56:11You must be putting in four now.
00:56:13Oh, well, you reckon you could give me a lift on your bicycle?
00:56:17Sure, if you can fix the sprocket clips a little.
00:56:21Oh, now here, hold that.
00:56:23I can fix that thing in two seconds, where do you believe?
00:56:26See now.
00:56:29Are you going there to take a violin lesson?
00:56:31No, I mean, no, I'm having enough trouble trying to learn how to...
00:56:34Say, there's a funny noise in here.
00:56:37Kind of a ticking noise.
00:56:40Yeah, it must be termites.
00:56:42She said it was awful old.
00:56:46What did you say was wrong with this?
00:56:48Look, mister, didn't you have an appointment or something?
00:56:51Appointment?
00:56:52Well, I know, I just...
00:56:54All right, doggie, wait a minute.
00:56:56I did, too.
00:56:57Four o'clock, yes, sir.
00:56:58Well, you're late now, and I'd hate to see you miss it.
00:57:01You can catch a bus right on the corner.
00:57:03There goes one now.
00:57:04Hurry!
00:57:05Oh, well, I'd hate to leave you in this fix, sonny.
00:57:08That's all right.
00:57:09I can carry it home in a paper sack.
00:57:14No, dear, mustn't do that.
00:57:17She can't hurt it.
00:57:18It's just an old fiddle.
00:57:20Better have her on while she's young.
00:57:23Here, hon, play with it all you want to.
00:57:25There.
00:57:27No, no, no, Dorothy, my mother.
00:57:30Do you know what time it is?
00:57:31No, I don't.
00:57:32It's after four, I think.
00:57:34How much after?
00:57:35Oh, I don't know, about ten minutes.
00:57:37Oh, my goodness, Miss Carmen will kill me.
00:57:40Elm Street next.
00:57:41Elm.
00:57:47Hey, mister, you forgot your violin.
00:57:50Oh, thank you.
00:57:57See anything?
00:57:58They're in there.
00:58:05I can't get anything.
00:58:06The set is absolutely dead.
00:58:08Maybe.
00:58:09Bet thinks it's too dangerous to communicate with us by radio.
00:58:17Wait a minute.
00:58:31Well.
00:58:38There's someone coming.
00:58:39He's carrying a violin case.
00:58:40A violin case?
00:58:42Oh, then let's send him.
00:58:47But since you sent one before, that means let him in.
00:58:50Come in.
00:59:13My doggie's bracelet, if you're any good, you'd better do your work right now.
00:59:18Come in, comrade.
00:59:25Who said that?
00:59:27Come upstairs.
00:59:32Somebody's either talking in here or I've lost my mind, one of the two.
00:59:40If you get any sense at all, you get out of here while you can.
00:59:48Oh.
01:00:06Get out! Get out! Get out!
01:00:13Wait a minute!
01:00:14Get down!
01:00:18That's the loudest ghost I ever heard in my life.
01:00:22This is Aunt Charity Spears' favorite remedy.
01:00:26Cured me many a time.
01:00:28Now.
01:00:30Here, Lon, I'll take this.
01:00:31Now, get away with that stuff.
01:00:33Besides, I ain't having nothing to do with you, Mr. Peabody.
01:00:36Scaredy cat.
01:00:38Feared of ghosts.
01:00:40Too scared to sleep in a haunted house when they've got a chance to make a thousand dollars.
01:00:44I've told you a thousand or a hundred times I weren't a feared.
01:00:48I got up there at the head of them stairs and...
01:00:50Just drop the subject. I don't want to hear no more about it.
01:00:54Well, at least I never got out in a canoe and fell in and kept a noob on me.
01:00:59What happened? Did Miss Carmen push you in?
01:01:02Now, you just keep her name out of this.
01:01:04She never even showed up.
01:01:08Hi, Granny's. Lookie here, Abner.
01:01:10Huh?
01:01:11Alien saboteurs blown up in explosion.
01:01:14Police search for a mystery man who planted bombs.
01:01:17Ten thousand dollar reward awaiting unknown hero.
01:01:21Now, why couldn't we do something like that?
01:01:24Yeah.
01:01:25That's what we need, all right.
01:01:27Here we ain't raised a cent so far and it's my time to...
01:01:30Now, Lon, don't say that word now.
01:01:32Yeah, that's right, ain't it?
01:01:34How you feeling, Abner?
01:01:36Well, I don't believe I ever felt better in my life.
01:01:40Well, that's just natural. Folks generally do feel good just before...
01:01:49They do, huh?
01:01:51Well, Lon, will they come after me and one of them golden chariots?
01:01:56I reckon so.
01:01:58Will it have gold wheels on it?
01:02:00I suppose.
01:02:01Well, reckon they can get the cars?
01:02:04Well, you'll find out all them things when they come knocking at your door.
01:02:08Do they knock on your door?
01:02:10Mr. Peabody. Mr. Peabody.
01:02:13I know it's early.
01:02:15Mr. Peabody.
01:02:19How do you do, sir?
01:02:20We're sort of expecting somebody else.
01:02:22I'm Professor Albert Frisbee, inventor of the Frisbee rocket ship.
01:02:27Well, proud to meet you, Professor.
01:02:34I thought you said you'd taken my shoes off.
01:02:36Well, I did, Lon.
01:02:41That's a good one on me, ain't it?
01:02:43On you?
01:02:44Which of you is the human daredevil?
01:02:47That's him right there. That is, if he is human.
01:02:50I have an opportunity for you.
01:02:52Yes, my good sir, you can be of inestimable service to the world of science.
01:02:58Posterity will cherish your name.
01:03:01Well, good for me.
01:03:03All you have to do is to ride in my rocket ship and carry a message to Mars.
01:03:09It's as simple as that.
01:03:11To Mars?
01:03:13Yes, and the Frisbee Planetary Research Foundation will pay $10,000 to the intrepid passenger.
01:03:22$10,000 just to ride in a boat?
01:03:25Did you hear that, Abner?
01:03:27I told you a boat trip might not do me no harm.
01:03:31If I just had time to make it.
01:03:34Whereabouts is this place Mars, eh?
01:03:36But surely you...
01:03:41If you'll come to the window, I'll be glad to show you.
01:03:44Must not be fur if we can see it from here.
01:03:47No, no.
01:03:49Look here.
01:03:51There, in that direction.
01:03:54Well, I don't see nothing up there but a bunch of stars.
01:03:57You're quite correct. It's that one.
01:04:00Oh.
01:04:03Uh, Professor, uh, this boat of yours, does it have gold wheels on it?
01:04:08Gold wheels?
01:04:10It's not what you're thinking, Abner.
01:04:12I'm thinking this is one trip I ain't gonna make till my time comes.
01:04:16This is our big opportunity, Abner. $10,000.
01:04:19We can square things with everybody back home.
01:04:22If I was in your position, I wouldn't hesitate a minute.
01:04:24Well, how far is this place Mars?
01:04:27Uh, measured in light years.
01:04:29This year's measurement?
01:04:30Well, a few million miles more or less.
01:04:33Doesn't make much difference in heavenly bodies, does it?
01:04:36Millions?
01:04:37Yeah.
01:04:38Oh, I thought maybe it was just thousands.
01:04:41This trip's made to order for you, Abner.
01:04:43When you get there, you'll be right close to heaven.
01:04:45Ain't that right, Professor?
01:04:47In a manner of speaking, yes.
01:04:49Uh, whereabouts is the rocket ship at now?
01:04:51Out at the airport, adjacent to the cemetery.
01:04:54Uh-oh.
01:04:55Bob, this is one trip I ain't gonna make, and that's final.
01:04:59And I doggie, this time it is final.
01:05:03You ought never to have said cemetery.
01:05:06Ladies and gentlemen,
01:05:08you have all had an opportunity to inspect the Frisbee rocket ship.
01:05:14My assistant, Professor Plunkett,
01:05:17is at the moment superintending the loading of the powerful charge
01:05:22that will send the ship on its long journey into space.
01:05:27I feel like I'm committing murder.
01:05:29This guy must be wacky.
01:05:33Plunkett, Plunkett, aren't we ready yet?
01:05:36Say, Professor.
01:05:37Yes?
01:05:38If this guy does get to Mars, how does he get back?
01:05:43I'm glad you brought that up.
01:05:45Plunkett, Plunkett, make a note of that.
01:05:48That should be my next experiment.
01:05:51Hey, sonny, you know, if it wasn't for me, Abner wouldn't be making this trip.
01:05:56My name's Lum Edwards.
01:06:02Fellow scientists, distinguished colleagues, members of the press,
01:06:08today, September the 17th,
01:06:11marks the, uh, give me a word, Plunkett.
01:06:14The realization.
01:06:15No, the realization of man's greatest dream.
01:06:19This occasion will go down in the annals of science as a red-letter day.
01:06:26September the 17th.
01:06:29September the 17th.
01:06:31Oh, my goodness.
01:06:32We have with us today a man whose name will be linked with that of Galileo and...
01:06:42Hey, you.
01:06:43Get away from that.
01:06:45That's the plunger that sets off the rocket ship.
01:06:47Good night.
01:06:49Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mr. Abner Peabody.
01:06:56Oh.
01:06:57Abner.
01:06:58Whereabouts you at, Abner?
01:07:00Where is he?
01:07:01Where is that man?
01:07:02This can't happen to me.
01:07:04Wait a minute.
01:07:05What day is this?
01:07:06The 17th?
01:07:07Yes, yes, but what has that to do with it?
01:07:09How about you?
01:07:10I don't worry about that.
01:07:11You keep the rocket ship loaded and this crowd of people here and you come with me.
01:07:15Don't do this to me.
01:07:18Did Mr. Peabody come...
01:07:21Oh.
01:07:23Did Mr. Peabody come...
01:07:26That's a nasty cold you have, Mr. Edwards.
01:07:28Doing anything for it?
01:07:29Yeah, I just made it worse.
01:07:30Please, has Mr. Peabody come in here?
01:07:33Yes, he went up to his room a short time ago.
01:07:35Much obliged.
01:07:36Come, we must...
01:07:37Mr. Edwards, have you seen a doctor?
01:07:40Oh, I ain't got time for that.
01:07:42To Abner from Abner.
01:07:44The finest man I ever know.
01:07:46Yeah, I sent me all these.
01:07:48Here lies the honest bones of a man named Abner Peabody.
01:07:52Bones, bones, bones.
01:07:54Say, would you consider changing your name to Jones?
01:07:57Ah.
01:07:59Abner, you oughtn't to run away like that.
01:08:02Get up from there.
01:08:03We've got to go through with this or we're sunk.
01:08:05I'm gonna lay right here and sink in comfort.
01:08:09You can't do this to me.
01:08:11The whole scientific world is waiting.
01:08:14My reputation is at stake.
01:08:17And what about Granville Masters and all them others?
01:08:20If I was in your position, I wouldn't hesitate a minute.
01:08:24Come in.
01:08:26I'm Dr. Leach.
01:08:27The desk clerk suggested that I...
01:08:29Good grief.
01:08:35What is this, man? Paranoid?
01:08:37Couldn't say.
01:08:38I never hired.
01:08:42Now, sir, tell me all about your aches and pains.
01:08:45Whatever's wrong with you.
01:08:46Well, there ain't nothing wrong with me.
01:08:48Lum's the one that's ailing.
01:08:49I'm just dying.
01:08:51Dying?
01:08:52Oh, yes.
01:08:53Of course.
01:08:54Huh?
01:08:57Huh?
01:08:59Ah, don't do that, Doc.
01:09:00That tickles.
01:09:01Nonsense.
01:09:02You're as sound as a dollar.
01:09:03Get up out of that bed.
01:09:04Huh?
01:09:05Come on.
01:09:06Get up like a man.
01:09:07You're in excellent condition.
01:09:09You mean I ain't gonna die?
01:09:10Not for a long, long time.
01:09:12Barring accident.
01:09:13All right, Doc.
01:09:14Did you hear that laugh?
01:09:16Congratulations, chum, and salutations.
01:09:18You've just been suffering hallucinations.
01:09:20Please, Mr. Peabody.
01:09:21If it's more money that you want...
01:09:23Felt slow.
01:09:25Respiration ragged.
01:09:27In bad shape, old fellow.
01:09:29Oh.
01:09:30Where'd you get that idea?
01:09:31If I were prescribing for you, I'd give you about two weeks...
01:09:34Two weeks?
01:09:35Did you hear that, Ebner?
01:09:36I'm done for in two weeks.
01:09:37You are done for.
01:09:38What about me?
01:09:39What about my rocket ship?
01:09:41Ever since I was a boy, back in 1891...
01:09:45All right.
01:09:46All right, Professor.
01:09:47All right.
01:09:48Come on.
01:09:49Let's get out of here, Long.
01:09:50You mean you'll do it?
01:09:51Let's get out of here before he starts another one of them long-winded speeches of his.
01:09:55All right, Grannies Ebner.
01:09:57I knowed you weren't no coward.
01:10:00So long, fellas.
01:10:01Have a good trip.
01:10:02Have a good trip.
01:10:03Happy landing from the rocket ship.
01:10:07Well, come on, Robert.
01:10:09Let's go back to washing windows.
01:10:12You know, it's a shame those nice old fellas have to risk their lives to save the money of their friends.
01:10:23Hello?
01:10:24Hello.
01:10:25Is that the Peabody or Lemonade was there?
01:10:26No.
01:10:27They just left for the airport.
01:10:29The airport.
01:10:31They're going to take a rocket ship to Mars.
01:10:33Look, I have got to get in touch with them.
01:10:35I've sold their right of way to another railroad for $20,000.
01:10:38Well, for heaven's sake, catch them and stop them there.
01:10:41If they can raise that much money, they don't have to risk their lives in that crazy invention.
01:10:45All right.
01:10:46Thank you very much.
01:10:47Goodbye.
01:10:48Boyd, get me a can, quick.
01:10:49Yes, sir.
01:10:50Did you hear that, Robert?
01:10:52Robert?
01:10:55Robert!
01:10:56Robert!
01:10:57$9,000.
01:10:59$9,500.
01:11:03$10,000.
01:11:07Abner!
01:11:08Abner!
01:11:09Get me out of this thing!
01:11:10All right, doggies, wait a minute.
01:11:12I've changed my mind.
01:11:13I ain't going to do it.
01:11:14Please, Mr. Peabody.
01:11:16Oh, sir, I can't afford to have Lum take that kind of a risk.
01:11:20Hey, Abner!
01:11:21Don't take that money!
01:11:23This is too dangerous!
01:11:24Abner!
01:11:25Abner!
01:11:26Mr. Peabody, I've devoted my whole life to the perfection of this machine,
01:11:32and now I'm on the very threshold of my triumph.
01:11:36You've spoiled everything.
01:11:39Well, for a bastard, I don't want to talk.
01:11:46Hey, Lum!
01:11:50Lum!
01:11:51Lum!
01:11:52Come back here!
01:11:53I told you not to do this!
01:11:54Abner!
01:11:55Abner!
01:11:56Abner!
01:12:02Mr. Peabody, oh, am I glad to see you.
01:12:05I've just had an offer for your right of way.
01:12:07Huh?
01:12:08Yes, $20,000 minus legal fees and taxes.
01:12:11Uh-oh, how much do I owe you this time?
01:12:13You don't owe me a cent.
01:12:14That's $17,500 net to you.
01:12:18$17,500 net to me?
01:12:20That's right.
01:12:21Why, with that much money, I can pay off them stockholders down home
01:12:25and show them a profit on the end there.
01:12:27That's why I advise you to accept it, Mr. Peabody.
01:12:30Oh, and I wish you'd have been here five minutes sooner.
01:13:22Nine miles.
01:13:25My grannies are my foundation.
01:13:28Good for me.
01:13:51The End