Maman, j'ai raté ma vie

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Transcript

00:00C'est parti !

00:30When I was 8 years old, you haven't been on one date since then.

00:32This is you worrying about me.

00:34You don't have to because I'm fine.

00:38Do you want to come on my trip with me, Mom?

00:39You want to drive cross-country with me?

00:43Yeah.

00:44No, it's, you know, we won't be gone long.

00:46It's only 8 days.

00:47I can't wait!

00:48Andy, I am so excited.

00:50All right, the adventure begins.

00:53Promise me you'll never pick up a hitchhiker.

00:55Promise I will never pick up a hitchhiker.

00:57Good.

00:58They rape.

01:00They're ready for your presentation.

01:01Oh, fantastic.

01:02Good luck, sweetheart.

01:03Thank you, ma'am.

01:04Nice to meet you.

01:06Exit highway in .51.

01:07What are you doing, Mom?

01:09Please, turn that off.

01:10Mom, get off the freeway.

01:12Like that?

01:12Whoa.

01:14You know, I think I'm going to drive from now on.

01:16Good idea.

01:16Do you have any rooms available for you and your lady?

01:20Oh, my lady.

01:21Andy, they have clip-on frog earrings.

01:24Oh, dude, don't wink at me.

01:26It's my mother.

01:26You insane.

01:28Look, there's a restaurant there.

01:29Does that say tapas?

01:31I love tapas.

01:33That's not what it says, Mom.

01:35Please don't sit near me.

01:37When you were a baby, your penis started to turn purple.

01:40I almost threw a pole over the table.

01:41You tell me if your penis started to turn purple again.

01:44My penis could literally grow an eyeball and I wouldn't tell you.

01:47Hi.

01:48If you can eat our 50-ounce steak in under an hour, you get it for free.

01:52You know how I can eat.

01:53Go!

01:54That's your mom.

01:55I would not lie about that.

01:57This week really didn't go how I planned.

02:01Yeah!

02:03I always wanted to see the Grand Canyon.

02:05I know.

02:06How long are we supposed to look at it?

02:08Ten minutes?

02:09Seems disrespectful to look at it from your list.

02:11But he'll know.

02:13That's a good point.

02:15It was the last time I was ever their daughter.

02:18What a nice chapter.

02:20He's a beautiful rider.

02:21It's okay.

02:22I picked up a hitchhiker.

02:25Hi.

02:25Well, I'll give you my number.

02:27Can you give us a call when you're in town?

02:28Yeah.

02:28You guys should probably keep in touch.

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