00:00What the fuck is going on, everybody?
00:02Welcome to my brand new show.
00:03This is called Getting Cooked with Ricky and Randy.
00:07What the fuck are you talking about in Randy?
00:09You and I are doing a show cooking with Ricky and Randy or something like that.
00:12It's called Getting Cooked. It means two different things, dumbass.
00:16This show is about making things when you're cooked that you come up with in your head, alright?
00:20Don't air spaghetti, yeah.
00:22Cheeseburger meatloaf.
00:23Pickle pizza.
00:24Cinnamon roll nachos.
00:25Chicken finger tacos.
00:26You are going to shit your cock when you fucking try these, Randy.
00:30Ricky.
00:31That's how we do that.
00:32Did you wash your freaking hands?
00:33Pretty much sometime today, yep. Look at that.
00:35Fucking don't air sauce.
00:36My balls are tingling.
00:37Randy and his stupid specialty tools like mixers and shit can fuck off.
00:42That's for paint, Ricky.
00:43Alright, we're going to need a pan.
00:44Ah, fuck! We forgot to preheat the cock sucking oven.
00:47Sometimes getting cooked makes it a little harder to cook.
00:49Get the fuck open.
00:50There's too many fucking numbers on this thing. It's confusing.
00:53Why the fuck isn't this melting?
00:54You're holding shit up here.
00:55Alright, let's do some shooters.
00:57Alright.
00:58You've got to get your lips right around the end.
01:00Oh yeah, yeah. Drink it, Ricky. Drink it.
01:02I am fucking cooked and half drunk.
01:04It's the only reason you're still on the show.
01:05Pretty good rule of bum is that bacon is good on every kind of pizza.
01:09Did you say rule of bum?
01:10Just a little gallop.
01:11It's not a gallop, Ricky.
01:13Stop fucking being smart. You're making me look not smart.
01:16It's not my fault that Ricky didn't read how many milligrams were in those drinks.
01:20Wonderful.
01:21Winterful.
01:22He got fragged.
01:23Ricky, how you doing over there, buddy?
01:24If I could get up right now, I would fucking do things to you like you've never heard of.
01:30Best thing about getting cooked with Ricky is getting to eat all this fucking wonderful food.
01:34Food tastes way better when you're fucking hot.
01:36I think it's time to dig in, Randy.
01:37Here we go. Diving in.
01:38Oh, fuck yeah.
01:39Wow.
01:40Fuck, that's good.
01:41We're onto something here.
01:43Mine?
01:44These foods would never have been created without drugs.
01:47You can have a mouth orgasm, Ricky.
01:49What the fuck are you talking about?
01:50I guess I'll let him stay on the show for now and we'll see how it goes.
01:53And tune in next time to see what the fuck else would get cooked when we're cooked.
01:57Until then, go fuck yourselves.
01:59Frig off, everybody.
02:00Fuck, hold on a second.
02:03You made me do shooters out of a fucking icecock!
02:06I mean, it was a...
02:07Fuck!
02:08Fuck!
02:09Fuck!
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