00:00all right the groom is in place and the minister is waiting is your sister and
00:08the ring bearer here yet gosh no and Doreen is usually so prompt
00:12oh
00:14don't I have the most beautiful sister ever
00:26well I'm sorry I'm so late it's just that we had trouble finding a tuxedo to fit Stewart
00:38he's got such an odd build I think he takes after uncle Larry oh right down to the lazy eye
00:49the doctor says there's nothing we can do about that until he goes through puberty which
00:55I don't know if that's ever gonna happen speaking of Stewart where is he oh he's peeing in the
01:07fountain
01:08do it you get over here right now look at you look at you look how big you've gotten huh do you have any idea how handsome you are
01:29well now Stewart what does mama say about vain little boys
01:41what does the mama say about the honey what's that what's that what's that
01:47vain little boys often grow up to be homosexual
01:52I'm sorry but we're gonna have to move this along okay Miss Larkin here you go remember as
01:59we practice down the central aisle slowly take your time
02:06okay next we're going to have the ring bear and where's the flower girl oh well the flower girl couldn't make it she made fun of me for being from a single parent home so I've been to her
02:13well I'm sorry about that Stewart okay let's proceed okay remember you're going to have the ring bear and where's the flower girl who couldn't make it she made fun of me for being from a single parent home so I bit her on the face
02:20well I'm sorry about that Stewart okay let's
02:31okay remember you're going to walk down the center
02:43aisle and just hold this pillow
02:46You have to just hold this pillow.
02:49Just hold, take this pillow.
02:52Please, Stuart, we have to go.
02:53Just hold this pillow.
02:54I don't know yet.
02:55Ma'am, I know you.
02:59Well, up you go, up you go, up you go, both of you.
03:03Up you go.
03:03Gosh, I could have guessed that was going to happen, huh?
03:06He's a strong one, this one.
03:07One time, he tore the door of my pantry
03:09because he thought I was hiding fiddle-faddle.
03:14Here you go, Stuart.
03:15Now, remember, walk down the aisle with dignity.
03:18Okay.
03:32One day, I hope I have a son just like him.
03:35Well, then may I suggest you drink heavily during your pregnancy?
03:38Sorry, no vice grips on your Google.
03:57But I didn't finish putting it in the fountain,
04:03and it's inside the middle part.
04:09Well, then hold it.
04:11That's what I'm doing.
04:12We are gathered together to celebrate the matrimony of Colleen and Gordon.
04:24Mommy, will Gordon have an affair on the Internet like Daddy did?
04:28Marriage is a sacred vow designed to bind two souls together for eternity.
04:37No, it isn't.
04:41Shh.
04:42What?
04:43May I have the rings, please, Stuart?
04:48Stuart, give the minister the ring.
04:51But he's grabbing, and you're not supposed to grab.
04:55Well, then give it to him.
04:57I'm going to, but...
04:58Well, then do it.
04:59Let me do it.
04:59Go on.
05:00Let me do it.
05:03Don't grab.
05:05I'm not grabbing.
05:06Just reach it for me.
05:07No, that is grabbing.
05:08That's not grabbing.
05:09Fine.
05:10Place it on my hand.
05:11Don't grab it.
05:12Place it on my hand.
05:13I'm going to, but you can tell you're going to grab it.
05:15I'm not going to grab it.
05:16Yes, you are.
05:17No, I'm not going to...
05:18Oh, for heaven's sake.
05:19Keep it on me.
05:21Now it's time to exchange the vows which the bride and groom have written themselves.
05:28Colleen?
05:32Gordon, it is my solemn promise to love you and honor you for the rest of my days.
05:40You fill my heart with such joy.
05:43I knew from the moment I met you that you were the one.
05:49I want to have children with you.
05:52Colleen, Colleen, Colleen, Stuart, what is that?
05:59Look what I can do.
06:13And now the groom will recite his vows.
06:30I'm sorry, everybody.
06:31I can't do this.
06:33What do you mean you can't do it?
06:35It's just, after seeing that freaky kid.
06:38Yeah.
06:40I'm very concerned about your gene pool.
06:43Goodbye.
06:44I'm sorry.
06:45I'm going to bite you on the face.
06:48Oh, no.
06:49Yellow.
06:49Yellow.
06:50Yellow, Stuart.
06:51Oh.
06:53Well, sister, I don't know what to say.
06:56Hey.
06:57Well, I do.
06:58Thank goodness for your little boy, Stuart.
07:00Otherwise, I would have ended up marrying some Jerko, you know, like you did.
07:07Of course, if it hadn't been for that Jerko, I never would have had...
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