00:00Okay, you people sit tight, hold the fort, and keep the home fires burning, and if we're
00:04not back by dawn, call the president.
00:08Welcome to Miss Mojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the best 80s box office
00:13bombs that have since garnered a passionate fan base.
00:17Minor spoilers ahead.
00:18See you later, Band-Aid breath.
00:2610 Dragonslayer Fantasy is tricky to pull off, but one fantasy
00:41film that should have gotten more love is this one, directed by Matthew Robbins.
00:46Dragonslayer is set in a medieval fantasy kingdom that sacrifices a virgin by lottery to a ferocious
00:53dragon.
01:05It's up to young wizard apprentice Galen and Valerian, a young girl disguised as a man,
01:10to end the dragon's reign of terror.
01:13Although critics were impressed by the special effects and dark themes, audiences were not
01:18as enthused.
01:19In time, however, it became a cult film, proving that a really good sword and sorcery flick is
01:25always appreciated.
01:309.
01:43Big Trouble in Little China
01:45You ready, Jack?
01:47I was born ready.
01:50It's martial arts and John Carpenter.
01:53What else could you possibly need?
01:55This fantasy action film may have had a tough time at the box office, but Big Trouble in
02:00Little China is a wild adventure from start to finish.
02:04The film follows two friends, truck driver Jack Burton and Wang Chi, as they descend into
02:09Chinatown's underworld to rescue Wang Chi's fiancée.
02:13There they must contend with gangs, fierce warriors, and ancient curses.
02:26Although Carpenter was disappointed in the low box office reception and mixed reviews, Big
02:31Trouble eventually found new life on TV and home video.
02:34The result is a fun, quirky film with undoubtedly woosia influences.
02:56Sometimes great films can be ruined by poor editing.
02:59That's the case with this Italian-American gangster film directed by Sergio Leone.
03:03The movie follows the rise of two Jewish-American mobsters, David Noodles Aronson and Maximilian
03:09Berkovitz.
03:11Based on a novel by Harry Gray, it's an epic tale of friendship, crime, love, and betrayal.
03:16Nobody's gonna love you the way I loved you.
03:20While the original almost four-hour-long version that premiered at Cannes received raves, an
03:25edited-down two-hour-plus version released in regular theaters was a complete flop.
03:30It'd be a shame to see a lifetime of work go to waste.
03:34Some of the violence proved so controversial, these scenes were censored.
03:38But epics are epics, and Leone's operatic Once Upon a Time proves that some stories need
03:45the extra length.
03:47Number 7 – The Black Cauldron Disney's failures are rarely this mind-boggling
04:03or risky.
04:05Based on the novels by Lloyd Alexander, the film follows young Tarin as he attempts to stop
04:10the evil horned king from conquering the world by taking possession of the titular Black Cauldron,
04:16full of ancient magic.
04:18Tarin succeeds with the help of his friends and Gurgi, a creature who sacrifices himself
04:23to defeat the cauldron.
04:34The film's darkness and lurid scene scared children when it came out, making this a hard
04:39sell to audiences.
04:40Still, the movie's beautiful animation, as well as its rich and charming rendition of
04:45Welsh mythology, is a clear winner.
05:00Number 6 – The Monster Squad
05:13With Count Dracula, Frankenstein's monster, and the mummy teaming up, how did this film
05:19flop?
05:20This horror comedy follows a group of kids as they try to stop Count Dracula and his fellow
05:24monsters from taking over the world.
05:37The kids eventually get their hands on a magical amulet, which opens a portal through which the
05:41monsters are safely cast into limbo.
05:44Unfortunately, audiences felt the Ghostbusters for kids vibes were unwarranted, and it underperformed
05:51the box office.
05:52In hindsight, however, the monster-versus-monster aspect of the film is loads of fun and is just
05:58as good as any 80s tween adventure.
06:01Where you going, Rhodey?
06:02I'm in the goddamn club, aren't I?
06:04Number 5 – Highlander
06:06I've been alive for four and a half centuries, and I cannot die.
06:13Well, everybody's got their problems.
06:17We can now see how this unique premise may have gotten lost in translation.
06:22Highlander follows Scottish Highlander Connor McCloud, who discovers he is part of a race
06:26of immortals after surviving a deathly duel.
06:30Trained by Ramirez, a Spanish-Egyptian swordsman played by Sean Connery, McCloud must fight against
06:35the Kurgan, a fellow immortal in a gathering in New York City in 1985.
06:52While the film charmed European audiences, U.S. audiences found it incomprehensible due
06:57to its dense lore.
06:59Most people now praise Highlander's excellent fight scenes, good performances, and epic score.
07:04I have something to say.
07:07It's better to burn out than to fade away.
07:10Number 4 – Heathers
07:12Greetings and salutations.
07:17You a Heather?
07:19Step into this candy store.
07:21Before Clueless and Mean Girls, there was Heathers.
07:25This teen film follows Veronica Sawyer as she gets involved with a clique of Mean Girls,
07:30all named Heather.
07:31Damn.
07:32It's your turn, Heather.
07:34Now, Heather, it's Heather's turn.
07:38Heather?
07:39Unlike the cheery teen comedies of the time, Heather's is a dark take on high school, as
07:48Veronica's quest for revenge against Heather Chandler ends in her death.
07:52What follows is even more black comedy, as Veronica and her boyfriend accomplice JD obtain a high
07:58body count.
08:00Perhaps all that blood and gore was too much for American audiences, for the film bombed
08:05at the box office.
08:06Heathers eventually found recognition and appreciation, even becoming adapted into a popular stage musical
08:13by the same name.
08:14Veronica, you look like hell.
08:17Yeah, I just got back.
08:20Number 3 – The Thing
08:22I don't know what the hell's in there, but it's weird and pissed off, whatever it is.
08:27Yet another John Carpenter-directed misfire that proved to have staying power.
08:32It's hard to believe this seminal sci-fi horror classic did so poorly with audiences and critics
08:37at the time.
08:38I don't know who to trust.
08:40I don't know what you mean, Blair.
08:44Based on the novella, which had already been filmed in the 1950s, The Thing concerns a chameleon-like
08:50alien creature that wreaks havoc at a base in Antarctica.
08:54American pilot R.J.
08:55McCready leads the hunt for this creature, eventually destroying both it and the station.
09:00The Thing's dark themes and ambiguous ending were unfortunately not to audiences' tastes.
09:06Having to compete with Steven Spielberg's classic E.T. The Extraterrestrial was also
09:11tough.
09:12Today, it's considered one of the most influential horror films of all time.
09:16Now that's no small thing.
09:19Number 2 – Blade Runner
09:25I've had people walk out of me before, but not when I was being so charming.
09:32Science fiction can be a tricky genre.
09:34Even so, Blade Runner may be the best sci-fi film to have bombed in the theaters.
09:39Directed by Ridley Scott, the film follows the titular Blade Runner, Rick Decker, whose
09:45job is to terminate replicants, humanoid androids gone rogue.
09:49Replicants are like any other machine.
09:51They're either a benefit or a hazard.
09:53If they're a benefit, it's not my problem.
09:56A foundational cyberpunk work, Blade Runner delves into themes about the nature of humanity,
10:02morality and dystopian bureaucracies.
10:05The film received mixed critical reviews for its slow pacing and lack of action, although
10:10its cinematography was praised.
10:12Blade Runner nevertheless won a slew of awards and is now considered one of the greatest films
10:17in its genre.
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10:51Number 1.
10:52Brazil
10:53It doesn't seem possible that such an arthouse dystopian film could have been conceived by
11:05Terry Gilliam of Monty Python fame, but he is indeed responsible for the satirical film
11:11about a bureaucratic authoritarian government.
11:13The movie follows dissatisfied government employee Sam Lowry, who tries to escape his polluted,
11:19brutal future world through daydreams.
11:20A minor bureaucratic error sets off a chain of events that leads to Sam's arrest.
11:25Don't fight it, son.
11:28Confess quickly.
11:30If you hold out too long, you could jeopardize your credit rating.
11:34Interrogated unto insanity, Sam disappears into his pleasant fantasies, accompanied by the
11:41beautiful strains of Ari Barroso's classic Aquarela du Brasil.
11:46Darkly funny and serious at turns, the film could not please general audiences with its
11:51downer ending.
11:52But Gilliam's vision of totalitarian reality versus idealistic fantasy is more relevant
11:57than ever.
11:59In transit, got the wrong man.
12:00I got the right man.
12:02The wrong man must deliver to me as the right man.
12:04I accepted him on good faith as the right man.
12:07Was I wrong?
12:08Which other 80s box office bomb turned firework made you want to soar the skies?
12:13Let us know in the comments down below.
12:15Do you agree with our picks?
12:24Check out this other recent clip from Ms. Mojo.
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