- 6 months ago
Murphy Brown Season 5 Episode 5 I Never Sang For My Husband
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00:00Hi, I'm Murphy Brown, you must be my...
00:19Your new secretary, Lila Mays.
00:21You're a busy woman, Ms. Brown, so let's not waste time getting acquainted.
00:25I'm a firm believer that efficiency is the keystone to any successful business operation.
00:30I couldn't agree with you more.
00:33So, well, let me just give you these research files and I'd like you to...
00:36Read them and highlight any useful information.
00:38No.
00:38Photocopy and distribute them.
00:40File them.
00:41They go in the file drawer that's...
00:42In your desk.
00:43In my desk.
00:45On another floor.
00:45In a different building.
00:48Over there.
00:50Just out of curiosity, what was your last job?
00:52I was a simultaneous translator at the United Nations.
01:00Hi, Corky.
01:04Doris, hi.
01:06What are you doing here?
01:07I was just over at the upholster and I thought I'd run a few of these swatches by Jim.
01:12They're for that antique mahogany footstool and his study.
01:15I'm torn between the green chintz and the more durable canvas.
01:20What do you think?
01:21Gee, Doris, I'm afraid I don't have time.
01:23See, I had to get this to my second producer.
01:25Oh, oh, by all means.
01:27Whisk away.
01:28I love what you've done with your hair.
01:31Really?
01:32I've worn it this way since the Carter administration.
01:35Oh, you.
01:39Hi, Doris.
01:40What are you doing here?
01:42Oh, hello, Frank.
01:42I just popped in to see Jim.
01:44We're reupholstering his favorite footstool.
01:46Oh, great, great.
01:47Look, I hate to be rude, but I am this close to breaking a major Defense Department scandal.
01:51Don't say no more, Frank.
01:52I'm a newsman's wife.
01:54The news waits for no one.
01:55Right, right.
01:56Look, let's all get together for dinner sometime.
01:58Oh, yes, that would be really nice.
02:01Doris.
02:02Hi.
02:03Oh, fancy neckins.
02:08Actually, there's swatches.
02:10Hold that thought.
02:11Doris, Lila, we need to return some...
02:13Tapes to editing.
02:14Books at the library.
02:17Crows that didn't fit.
02:19Phone calls.
02:20I'm working on a follow-up to my Iran conference story, so let's start with Casper White.
02:24Wyoming.
02:26Yes, get me Casper, Wyoming.
02:30Ask them if they're upset that Cheyenne got to be the state capitol, and when you're finished,
02:35get me Casper Weinberger on the phone.
02:41Looks like you got your hands full today.
02:43You should have seen me yesterday.
02:45You should have seen me yesterday.
02:46Editing a story, wolfing down a salad, and doing a phone interview with Boris Yeltsin all
02:51at the same time.
02:52Then the new nanny calls on the other line, frantic because she's mistakenly fed the last
02:57bottle of breast milk to the cap next door.
02:59At one point, things got so crazy, I wished the nanny luck with the Russian economy and told
03:06Yeltsin I didn't have big enough breasts to nurse the Siamese.
03:09Oh, goodness, I guess I didn't realize how much more demanding your job would be with the baby.
03:20You and me both.
03:22I guess I'm just one of those people who doesn't feel alive unless they're challenged.
03:25Well, enough about me.
03:27What have you been up to?
03:27Oh, uh, the usual, garden club, church choir.
03:32In a couple of hours, I'll be defrosting a lamb shank.
03:37I'll tell you, Jim, I think you should call me.
03:39All right.
03:40Doris, what are you doing here?
03:42Well, that seems to be the question of the day.
03:44I brought the swatches for the footstool.
03:46I've narrowed it down to two choices, Jim, if you'd like to make the final decision.
03:50Well, now isn't really the best time.
03:53Why don't we go over them tonight after dinner?
03:55That's when I do the dishes.
03:59After the dishes?
04:00It's Thursday.
04:01After I do the dishes, I have to haul the trash cans out to the curb.
04:08You've only had to do that on the occasional Thursday when I haven't been home.
04:12Why don't we discuss it tonight?
04:14Ah, if you want to discuss it tonight, we'll discuss it tonight.
04:18In the meantime, I'll be at home trying to think up new and exciting ways
04:23to keep the dog from drinking out of the toilet.
04:25On the other hand, um, let's see, these, um, ah, this, uh, blue fabric is handsome.
04:33Blue clashes with the wallpaper I spent three weeks of my life picking out.
04:38Or red, then.
04:39It's hard to visualize.
04:40Oh, well, why don't I get down on all fours?
04:43We'll put the fabric on my back and see how that looks.
04:45Miles, pull that chair over here behind me and we'll get them fully fit.
04:49I don't want to.
04:54Fine.
04:55Then I'll just take my little swatches and get out of everyone's way.
04:59Here I go, a 49-year-old woman with nothing better to do than chauffeur cloth around town.
05:04Did you hear that?
05:1049 years old.
05:12A lot of spunk for 49.
05:15I think I'll go tell her that.
05:17Hey, hey, Jimbo!
05:27Jimbo!
05:28We'll be here, buddy.
05:29So, what looks good?
05:38Jim, if you decide you want to talk later, hombre de hombre, I'll be here for you.
05:45Great.
05:46Just what he needs.
05:47Advice from Zorro.
05:48Thank you, Murphy.
05:50And while I'm at it, let me add my heartfelt gratitude to you for telling Doris she has a meaningless life.
05:55What?
05:56I never said that to Doris.
05:57I never tell anyone their life was meaningless.
06:00Oh, okay, that one time to Ed McMahon.
06:03Hey, Jim, before you order, we're out of a couple of days.
06:07Should have heard it.
06:08Murphy this, Murphy that.
06:10What a lovely way to spend a morning.
06:12Standing in a parking garage while your wife tells you she feels empty, unhappy, and unfulfilled.
06:17Maybe Doris needs a little affection.
06:19Take her out to dinner.
06:21Oh, right.
06:22A nice piece of fish will make her forget her world is crumbling.
06:27Is everything okay between you and Doris?
06:32You know, in the boudoir?
06:35Of course, things are fine.
06:40At least, I assume they are.
06:41I mean, wouldn't I know if they weren't?
06:44Not always.
06:45Oh, for Pete's sake.
06:51Aren't you amateur stuff aside before somebody gets hurt?
06:55Jim, it sounds to me like what the Mrs. needs is to find her own identity.
07:00Yes.
07:01That's something Doris mentioned, that she doesn't know who she is.
07:05What do you know, Phil?
07:05Well, looking at it from her side, it can't be easy.
07:09No career of her own.
07:11People only see in her as Mrs. Gentile.
07:14In my opinion, she's in a rut and needs a change.
07:18Ah, all right.
07:20In other words, something brought on by a long-term situation rather than a harmless comment by an innocent friend.
07:26What kind of change are we talking about, Phil?
07:31Hey, I only identify the problem.
07:34If I had all the answers, I'd be running one of those fancy restaurants where the reporters who come in leave more than a crummy 4% tip last night.
07:44I'm sorry, Phil.
07:46I was in a hurry.
07:47Yeah, well, I'll try not to be in a hurry the next time I'm cooking you pork.
07:54This doesn't make any sense.
07:57When Doris and I got married, we had an agreement.
07:59I'd work and she'd take care of our home.
08:02I know that may sound old-fashioned, but it worked for us.
08:05At least until now.
08:07Jim, even though you accused me unfairly, I will break one of my most sacred rules and give you some advice.
08:15Now, it's pretty apparent Doris needs a change in her life.
08:18You can fight that, or you can support her in whatever it is she wants to do and make it easy on yourself.
08:25Oh.
08:26Hell's bells.
08:28Hell's bells.
08:29Things have been fine with us for 30 years, and now this happened.
08:34Why does life have to be such a roller coaster?
08:36We're live each.
08:41Good morning, all.
08:43It's a beautiful day in our nation's capital.
08:46Oh, nice belt, Frank.
08:47Hi, Jim.
08:48Have a good weekend.
08:50Delightful.
08:51Now, I know last week the situation with Doris had me a little on edge, but she'll be pleased to hear that everything has turned out fine.
08:58What'd you do, Jim?
08:59Bury her in the basement?
08:59It's quite humorous, Miles.
09:03Well, actually, this past week, with my encouragement, she's looked into part-time work, she's enrolled in a candle-making class, and she's taken up topiary.
09:12Her front hedge is now cut in the shape of two elk locked in mortal combat.
09:17This quest to fulfill herself is bringing her such joy.
09:22Well, of course it is.
09:24And let me just remind everyone it was my suggestion for Jim to support her and stand behind her.
09:29And it's not just Doris who's reaping the benefits.
09:32These new explorations of hers have opened up fresh new discussion between us, new feelings.
09:38Look what I bought her in support of her new identity.
09:43Engraved note cards.
09:45Very nice, Jim.
09:46Yes, but read what they say.
09:48Doris died.
09:50Not Mrs. Jim died.
09:51Doris died.
09:53I think she'll be pleased.
09:54Well, of course she will, because you supported her, as I advised you to.
10:00I owe you a debt of gratitude, Slugger.
10:02Your advice was well taken.
10:03Well, when you've lived life as fully as I have, you become somewhat of a guru of the
10:08human being.
10:08Oh, would you bring me a last door?
10:11Greetings, all.
10:13Hey, Doris.
10:14How are you?
10:14Doris, what a wonderful surprise.
10:16I have something for you.
10:18And I have something for you.
10:20You know how in my quest to expand my horizons, I've been looking for the perfect thing that
10:25says I'm Doris Dial and this is what I'm all about?
10:29I've finally decided.
10:30Tuesday at the Cabernet Cabaret, Doris O'Rourke.
10:37Doris O'Rourke?
10:39Yes, it's my maiden name.
10:41This is a flyer for a performance I'm putting together.
10:44I'm going to sing.
10:45Sing?
10:46What do you mean, sing?
10:48Words are going to come out of my mouth while music's playing.
10:55There's this little cabaret on Connecticut Avenue.
10:58Tuesday nights, they showcase local talent.
11:00This is so exciting.
11:02I didn't know you were a singer, Doris.
11:04Well, never professionally.
11:06Although I once was invited to audition for Johnny Man's Stand Up and Cheer.
11:11Unfortunately, it was the same week Jim and I went on our honeymoon to historic Williamsburg.
11:16I guess there's always been a part of me that's wondered what would have happened if I had taken that road.
11:21Now, after a 30-year detour, I'm going to find out.
11:26I would love it if you'd all be there for me.
11:28No, Doris, these are all busy people.
11:30I'm sure they don't make sense to be there.
11:32Oh, Doris.
11:32Oh, fabulous.
11:33And I was thinking after we could all get together for a little post-theater party.
11:39Doris, Doris.
11:39This singing in a public place with public people.
11:45We should really talk about this.
11:47But not now, dear.
11:48I have a mountain of things to do.
11:50How about tonight when I get home?
11:51I'm going to be late, so heat up lean cuisine.
11:53But, Jim, if it hadn't been for your support, I don't know if I'd had the courage to do this.
12:02Honey, wherever you found the strength to be so understanding, I just love you for it.
12:17Come on, Jim.
12:18We've waited long enough for a minute looking late on Doris.
12:22You go ahead.
12:22I think I forgot to lock my car.
12:24I think Jim's just a little nervous about seeing Doris perform.
12:29Are you a little nervous, Jim?
12:31Are you a little nervous about seeing Doris perform?
12:34Yes, Jim.
12:36That's an ugly color on you.
12:39I'm sorry I'm late.
12:40I had to feed the baby, and then I had to set up for Doris's post-theater party.
12:44That's not.
12:47And now, ladies and gentlemen, our next act is a singer.
12:52All of us here are very excited about.
12:55And not because she lets us watch her get dressed.
13:03All kidding aside, let's have a nice warm cabaret welcome for Miss Doris O'Rourke.
13:24Once I built a railroad
13:26Once I built a railroad
13:39Now it's done
13:42Brother, can you spare a dime?
13:43Brother, can you spare a dime?
13:47Once in khaki suits, oh gee will it swell?
13:48I built a tower to the sun
13:49Once I built a tower to the sun
13:54Brick and mortar and lime
13:58Once I built a tower
14:02Now it's done
14:04Brother, can you spare a dime?
14:07Can you spare a dime?
14:08Can you spare a dime?
14:09Can you spare a dime?
14:10Can you spare a dime?
14:11Once in khaki suits, oh gee will it swell?
14:12In khaki suits, oh gee, we looked swell
14:16Wearing that Yankee doodly-dum
14:20Half a million boots went slogging through hell
14:27I was the kid with the drum
14:32Oh my!
14:38Say, don't you remember
14:41They called me Sal
14:44It was Sal all the time
14:48Say, don't you remember
14:51I'm your pal
14:54Oh, buddy
14:56Can you help me out here?
15:01Wow, it's Doris Dial
15:03Jim Doris
15:05Wow
15:06I know, I had no idea she was so musical
15:10Yes, she's very limber, Jim
15:14She's always been that limber
15:15Let's go, let's go
15:18Once in khaki suits, oh gee, we looked swell
15:26Full of that Yankee doodly-dum
15:30Half a million boots went slogging through hell
15:36And I was the kid with the drum
15:41Say, don't you remember
15:45They called me Sal
15:46Oh, buddy
15:48Sal all the time
15:50Oh, say don't you remember
15:54To love you, my friend
15:59Brother, can you spare
16:06Death
16:11We're going home.
16:30What?
16:31Go home. I have another number.
16:33Your next number is 3141 South Bedford Avenue.
16:35Now, are you coming home with me or am I?
16:38My audience wants another number.
16:41I'm just pretty upset. I'd better go talk to him.
16:49And now, I'm going to let loose and shake things up a bit.
16:53Right after this.
17:00But then, of course, after I got rolling,
17:03I'd have to say, to put it in the performer's vernacular,
17:06I killed big time.
17:08Well, at first, it seemed to me that the audience seemed a bit tentative.
17:13What do you think, Frank?
17:15Well, at first, I was a little tentative.
17:19And I listened right up.
17:21Yes. Approximately when during my performance did that happen?
17:24Pretty much the same time you did.
17:26And then, how about you, Miles?
17:29Oh, well, um, it happened a little later for me.
17:34I think it was when you did the splits during Ave Maria.
17:36You know, it was totally spontaneous.
17:45I was just consumed by the moment.
17:48So you said earlier.
17:49And speaking of consumed, there's one last piece of cake.
17:52I believe it's yours, Doris.
17:54Come on, eat it, and we'll call it a night.
17:56I am much too exhilarated to eat.
17:59I suppose one trained in the workings of the human psyche
18:02might say that I don't want to eat the last piece
18:04because I don't want this glorious evening to end.
18:09I'll eat it!
18:14You know who's good?
18:17Peggy Lee.
18:19When she sang Fever, oh.
18:21But then she did that,
18:22Is That All There Is thing.
18:24Wow, what was that all about?
18:26Unless you started talking in the middle of it.
18:29You don't talk in the middle of your songs, do you?
18:31Oh, excuse me, I gotta say goodnight to the nanny.
18:34Can I say goodnight to her tumor?
18:35Get your own nanny, Frank, this one too.
18:39Mrs. Arnold, thank you for everything.
18:42You've been so good with the baby.
18:45Oh, how could it be any other way
18:47for such a sweet child?
18:49Well, I'm so lucky to have finally found someone like you.
18:52Here, let me help you on with your coat.
18:54Oh, no, that's not necessary.
18:55I'll just...
18:56I'll see what you've done.
19:00You've ruined the surprise.
19:03You see, I was just taking these out to be redicked.
19:07Yeah, and I work part-time as a rodeo clown.
19:10Okay, just get out, okay?
19:13Well, I guess if I'm not taking the silverware,
19:16I won't be needing your coat.
19:17and that's why i have chosen to express myself through music
19:25or as the poet andrew marvell called it the mosaic of the air
19:30all day
19:33well the nanny just mentioned how late it is 11 20 can you believe it all good things have to come
19:42to an end you know what i've always wondered about why is it you never see more guys playing the harp
19:48excuse me can i talk to you for a second
19:52what are you doing now that i've been trying to break up this party for the last hour now you're
20:00just throwing logs on the doris fire now just go shoot now you know why is it whenever you want
20:07to get rid of a room full of people i'm the only one you have no problem being rude to
20:11it just shows how comfortable i feel with you well let's hope you never lose that
20:17hello hello whatever you do don't ask the redhead anything
20:25eldon sends his apologies he'll call you about that pressing harp question
20:33well being as the party is breaking up jim
20:37well you two probably have a lot to talk about so don't feel you have to stay to help me clean up
20:50you can just go what is it you've come for jim you've already missed the party
20:55well i've been driving around town thinking and i've decided to forget all about tonight's unfortunate
21:03incident and we'll just put it behind us which unfortunate incident would that be
21:09jim the discovery that your wife has a mind of her own or that you are a self-centered boorish
21:14well better get some water on this you know what you did on that stage tonight was inexcusable
21:24everyone was embarrassed for you weren't you murphy is that true murphy were you embarrassed
21:29oh gee doris you know i'm not much of a judge of what's embarrassing don't forget i'm the one who
21:34asked yasser arafat if his head wrap was ralph lauren or wamsada oh boy look at this dry frosting you can see what i'm up against
21:49you want to hear me say i'm sorry don't you jim
21:53well i am sorry but not for what i did tonight i am proud that i got up there and fulfilled my lifelong dream
22:00boy this stuff is like cement but i'm sorry about the noise must make it pretty hard to talk in here
22:07like quieter out in the car don't you think what i am sorry about is that after 30 years of totally
22:13supporting you i found that you couldn't even give me one night of my own
22:21i'll be back for the glasses
22:22what is it that's bothering you jim what are you afraid of it's just that you've changed so much lately
22:35that i i guess i'm afraid you won't want me or need me anymore
22:45jim don't you know how happy you've made me this past week by standing behind me and encouraging me
22:52when i'm happy i only love you more
23:04tell me is this performing something you plan to do again
23:12i don't know i might was it really that difficult for you wasn't there anything about my performance
23:21that you liked well i suppose if pressed i could find a thing or two
23:28i'm pressing once i built a railroad made it run made it race against time i found your neck to look
23:48quite quite appealing
23:52my neck
23:55anything else
23:56once i built a railroad
23:59i enjoyed your shoes
24:06i found them to be quite attractive on your shapely alabaster legs
24:13brother
24:16brother can you spare time
24:21may i take you home miss o'bror
24:23thank you
24:35thank you
24:54you
24:55you
24:56you
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