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  • 9 months ago
“I didn't have love for myself.” Filmmaker and writer Tahira Kashyap Khurrana spoke to Brut about the darkest phase of her life and how she got out of it.
Transcript
00:00I was in a very dark space. I don't regard myself as a superhero or a successful person's
00:07wife or a failure's wife. I am Ayushman's wife. The house was being run by me. So, in terms of money.
00:17Hi, I'm Tara Kashyap Khurana for Brute India.
00:20The 10 years before a few years, I was in a very dark space. And the space was just
00:33growing bigger and bigger because I was feeding it all the more. And I felt very lost as a person.
00:39I doubted every single person's intention. I didn't have love for myself and I had very little
00:45love to share with other people. So, it was got to do with my own struggles. And who bears
00:53the wrath, the grunt, it's always your closest. So, whether my kids were too small, it was my
01:00parents and it was my husband. I understood a whole lot about myself, about our relationship
01:06and about the concept of human revolution, which is that we are meant to evolve, we are meant to
01:12progress and then we meant to change. So, yeah, we are in a very happy, sweet space. And I'm sure
01:19a lot of couples go through their own sort of struggles. This was my struggle. I don't know how
01:30to see my husband as being kept at some pedestal because we have a very, very long association.
01:41We have been together since high school. We have been together through a period where
01:48when we got jobs, I was running a business and I was earning more.
01:53I also remember a phase where the house was being run by me. So, in terms of money. And
02:02we guys supported each other. So, I don't know, neither at that time did I demean him and neither
02:07today do I put him on a pedestal. And I don't regard myself as a superhero or a successful
02:16person's wife or a failure's wife. I am Ayushman's wife and I'll always be that. I would want to be
02:23that irrespective of how the world perceives him. Today, he's doing well. God forbid, if it doesn't
02:29go well, how will I address myself? So, it's always going to be my association with him because that's
02:35how it's always been. I always found solace, happiness whenever I took to writing. When I was
02:48a kid, I always had a secret sort of a diary. My mom had bought me and had a small lock and a key.
02:52And I used to... I didn't realize that I was choosing writing over many things. And that
02:58writing was my calling. But as you grow up, you feel some dreams can't come true. I have a lot
03:04of self-doubts. I think I dabbled in around 8 to 10 jobs. And I did well in all of them. But the
03:11moment I used to get a sort of a bonus or a promotion or something, that's the day I used to
03:16give in my resignation. My parents thought I'm eccentric. I'm very silly because here I'm being
03:21awarded for something and rewarded. And in return, I'm putting in my resignation. But I did not find
03:28happiness in all those jobs that I did. And even to cope up with that dejection, I used to write.
03:36I belong to a middle-class family. And I know that right after my post-graduation, I need to
03:41make money. That's how I have to sustain in life. And so, I was just driven by that need.
03:51But of course, when your dreams and your happiness are not accounted for, you don't address what
03:57gives you happiness. I follow Nichiren's Buddhism. I chant. And the day I was introduced, I was in
04:09a very dark space. Honestly speaking, I was not a very, very happy person. In fact, I used to put
04:14up a facade of being very happy, very contented, whereas I was just the opposite. I was just going
04:18down with every passing year. So that the dark period lasted for around 10 years. And that's not
04:24a small time because if you're in a dark space all these 10 years, it consumes you at some level
04:30or the other. And it was. So that's the time Nichiren's Buddhism came across my life. And I
04:36thought, okay, let me just take this one thing off. And again, blame God and everybody and my parents for
04:42me being unhappy. That's the time when a third person who was not related to me at all,
04:50who didn't even know me, reposed faith in me. Because the faith was being reposed in human
04:57potential. It was not because Tahira can do this. And I felt so empowered that another person who
05:02has no association with me has hopes from me. Am I that significant? Can I contribute something to
05:08my own life? Forget about society and the world. That's the day she told me that please dream and
05:15dream big. And you're meant to be happy.
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