When Women Are Told What To Wear

Brut India

From aunties in the park to office colleagues, why do women often face judgment for what they choose to wear?

Transcript

00:00I remember I was checked for what I was wearing was when I was 8.

00:16They would always be like these small statements you know like you need to wear a longer top

00:21with those leggings, you need to wear a dupatta with that kurta.

00:25It's the age old we're saying this for your own good.

00:29I trust you but I don't trust the men on the street.

00:59I will complain that you wear short skirts in college and try to excite the boys.

01:03Excuse me, I said no short skirts in the college, please.

01:07There was a lady who had come to our house discussing all about religion and what's good,

01:12what's not good.

01:13She pointed out to my skirt, she said skirts like this take you to her lady diner.

01:20When I was living in Mumbai, I think a couple of years ago, I had given this one top to

01:24a tailor near my house because it was really loose and it needed to be taken in from the

01:30side.

01:31When I got back home and I tried it on, I noticed that he'd also, he'd also pulled

01:35up the shoulders a little bit and sort of raised the neckline and it wasn't even that

01:41deep to begin with.

01:42And then there was this dress that I wanted him to make.

01:44It was a very pretty thin collar V-neck and he seemed very hesitant and I was like what

01:51happened?

01:52So he's like, yeh zyada deep ho jayega.

01:55And then I ended up convincing him that I would wear an inner with the dress.

02:01I was stepping out for a friend's birthday party and I really wanted to wear this cute

02:05purple strap top with jeans and I remember being told by my family at that time that,

02:11you know, straps are just not okay and I would either have to change out of it or cover it

02:16up with a jacket or a shrug.

02:19It was a classic work setting.

02:20This is a company I used to work for many, many years ago and I was called into the conference

02:26room by my head HR asking me to not wear what I was wearing on that day.

02:34She very bluntly told me that what you're wearing is not acceptable in this office because

02:42we've seen men look at you in this particular outfit.

02:46What I was wearing was a play suit which was a little over my knees and over that I

02:53was wearing a green, like an oversized jacket on top.

02:56When I was working at a prominent research institute in Delhi, we had gone for an outing

03:03and it was in April and it was really, the sun was on overhead and I decided to put a

03:09dupatta over my head.

03:10And one of my lab mates, she comes running to me and she says, take that off.

03:15And I was like, why?

03:17What's wrong with this?

03:18She's like, no, your RPI doesn't like it.

03:20She doesn't like women being enslaved.

03:22And I was like, what's enslavement in a dupatta over my head?

03:26She's like, no.

03:28She wants modern and liberal women.

03:35It is true that even though some of us believe that women shouldn't be questioned about what

03:39they were wearing when something terrible happened to them, women are.

03:42I think what happened is on some level, I internalized that, okay, my body is the problem.

03:48That it is this deeply offensive, disgusting thing that needs to be covered up at all times.

03:56And I could be seen, but I had to be seen only under very specific conditions and in

04:02very specific ways.

04:04Is it just that I'm feeling comfortable in what I'm wearing or is it just comforting

04:08that nobody seems to have a problem with it?

04:10If you ask these men why they were looking at me, do you think that is acceptable?

04:14We should have a choice to wear our clothes.

04:17After all, the clothes we wear are an extension of our personality.

04:21These loose, comfy shorts that I have are always questioned whenever I go to any relative's

04:25house.

04:26You know, whereas the men of the house are very often wearing, like just shirtless or

04:31wearing boxers.

04:32And yeah, I wonder what that unquestioned freedom must feel like.

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