Be careful of what you say to your children

If you have a toddler or teen, children are impressionable by nature, so choose wisely what you say to them. Read more: http://gulfnews.com/1.2039834

Transcript

00:00Be aware of your tone of voice. After a difficult or stressful day we may be more reactive to

00:15our children and although we understand the context of that, the children won't be able

00:21to so they may take that that they're in trouble or they may take that as a criticism. It's

00:25always important to talk using very clear language. Avoid things like double negatives

00:31so I haven't said you can't go. When a child hears that all they may hear is they can't

00:36go and it's all okay to make mistakes. So we may say something to a child and regret

00:40it and think oh I wish I hadn't said that but go back to the child and apologise and

00:45say oh you know mummy was wrong she shouldn't have said that in that way and I'm sorry.

00:49It's okay not always to know what to say to a child so if they ask you a question and

00:53you don't know the answer rather than giving them a response that you don't feel happy

00:57with it's okay to say something like you know that's a really good question you know mummy

01:02needs to think hard about that. Specific things that you might say to a child but are really

01:07best to avoid so a classic one would be it doesn't matter, don't worry about it, don't

01:12cry. Now we know that it's healthy to express our emotions so by telling a child to not

01:17cry is encouraging them to suppress how they're feeling. Obviously it's very good to give

01:22children praise but we don't want to give praise generically and indiscriminately because

01:28then the child is always seeking of it. It's important not to label a child so saying to

01:33a child you're shy or even saying to an adult she's shy and the child hearing that because

01:40that then almost becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. A statement such as practice makes

01:45perfect is something also we hear parents using and that puts a lot of pressure on a

01:50child that they feel that they have to do everything exactly right. It's much better

01:55to focus on effort rather than achievement. As a teacher one very important thing I think

02:03is not to humiliate your students. If you have anything to say call that particular

02:08child outside the class, ask that I have some very important thing to discuss with you.

02:13The teacher should avoid comparison in class. The borderline that you are very good, you

02:19are topper, you are average, you are mediocre that will again lead a very negative impression

02:26in the minds of the student.