00:00.
00:27Want a potato?
00:31one chocolate-covered raisin. That's my dinner, every day.
00:43Now, the way the world works is, the more potatoes you buy, the cheaper each of those
00:49potatoes is. And that's why I buy my potatoes ten kilograms at a time.
00:59And the problem is, I have to buy ten kilo rounds of chocolate cup of raisins just to balance
01:07up my hands. Takes about a month to recover. Just enough time to eat all the potatoes.
01:31Now, I always know exactly how long it takes me to cook my potatoes. Exactly the same time
01:40it takes me to change my trousers. So even if I don't need to change them, I change them
01:46anyway, because I know that's exactly how long it's going to take me to cook. One hour,
01:53twenty-five minutes.
02:06But on this particular day, just as I'd taken my trousers off, I seen this squirrel out
02:15the corner of my eye. Now, there's only two things that I hate in this life. Only two.
02:26Liars. And squirrels. So I went to get my gun. Now, it was pretty cold outside. And I didn't
02:37have my trousers on. So I had to grab anything I could find and shove it down my little panties
02:44just to keep warm. But when I opened the door, the squirrel was gone. And standing in his place
02:55place with a little old lady. Don't worry, ma'am. This ain't what it looks like.
03:06Well, it looks to me like some old man standing there pointing his gun at me with five thousand
03:12chocolate-covered raisins down his pants. How do you know how many chocolate-covered raisins
03:20I got in my pants? I don't. I'm just guessing. You ain't guessing. You're lying. I ain't
03:31lying. I ain't never lied in my whole entire life. Prove it. Prove to me you ain't no liar.
03:55One. Two. Three. Eighty-five. Eighty-six. Eighty-seven. Eighty-eight. Four hundred and thirteen. Four hundred and
04:09fourteen. Four hundred and fifteen. Nine hundred and ninety-seven. Nine hundred and ninety-eight.
04:16Nine hundred and ninety-nine. One thousand. One thousand and one. One thousand and two. Four thousand
04:26nine hundred and ninety-seven. Four thousand nine hundred and ninety-eight. Four thousand nine hundred and
04:41I told you you were wrong, there ain't no way 5,000 in there.
04:51Liar.
04:54I'm sorry sir, I didn't mean no harm.
04:59Then what did you come here for? Did you come here just to lie to me?
05:06I came to bring you back your purse.
05:19Then why did you have to start lying then?
05:25I don't know.
05:29Just get the hell off of my porch.
05:54And as she walked away, I smelt my potato burning in the stove.
06:02But I weren't hungry no more.
06:09I don't know.
06:09There is nothing but no, my God.
06:17I'm sorry.
06:19You just can't and it then, I'm sorry.
06:21I know.
06:23I'm sorry.
06:25I know.
06:28I know.
06:29I know my truth.
06:56Five thousand.
07:07Five thousand.
08:04VIOLIN PLAYS
08:34VIOLIN PLAYS
09:01VIOLIN PLAYS
09:14VIOLIN PLAYS
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