The great urge to impress others || Acharya Prashant (2020)

Acharya Prashant

Video Information: 29.7.2020, NIT-Jamshedpur - Webinar, Greater Noida, India   Context:  ~ The great urge to impress others  ~ How to remain motivated and excel every moment?  ~ Who is Acharya Prashant?  ~ If you want to be like them, pay the price they paid  ~ How to live life by heart?  ~ What is self-improvement?  ~ Can the same self that is flawed and mistaken improve itself?  ~ The great urge to impress others   Music Credits: Milind Date   #motivation #acharyaprashant #selfimprovement

Transcript

00:00So, the first question comes from Animesh from BHU.

00:17Sir, I have observed that I have been living my life to impress other people.

00:28From school days, we are taught to write in a certain way, speak in a certain way,

00:34and answer in a certain way to leave impression on the teachers, invigilators, etc.

00:42Probably these things are required in businesses and jobs as well.

00:49This thing has subconsciously impacted my mind so much that even in dreams, I keep on

00:55trying to impress others.

00:58Sometimes it completely takes over my expressions and then there is no true expression of myself.

01:08I notice that when I am using social media, instead of expressing my opinions, I am putting

01:14more emphasis on things that can leave wow sparks on my followers' eyes.

01:22From parents, friends, to general members of the society, I think to all I speak words

01:33just to gain attention and admiration.

01:36This might be coming from an inner urge to be recognized and respected in eyes of everyone

01:44and make everyone around me happy, but I fail to see any value of such behavior.

01:54Please guide me how I can eradicate this urge of attention, admiration, and impression and

02:02walk rightly.

02:07Animesh, you want to impact the minds of others, right?

02:15That's what it means to impress others.

02:19To impress others is to leave some kind of an imprint on their mind to impact them, influence

02:35them in some way.

02:42So if you really are so concerned about impacting or influencing others, why not influence them

02:56in a way that would be really beneficial for them rather than seek your own little self-interest?

03:12When you want to create an impression in the other's mind so that your own ego feels pampered

03:24and bloated, then it is a problem.

03:30Only then it is a problem.

03:32Unfortunately, 99% of all attention-seeking behavior is just for the gratification of

03:43one's ego.

03:44That's why it is a problem.

03:48Otherwise, if you look at the great people in so many fields of human life, you'll find

04:00that often they have either consciously or inerrotantly created great impressions on

04:17others' minds.

04:21Sometimes their objective is just to be fully immersed in their own work, and this work

04:30that they are doing when it comes to light publicly is greatly admired and appreciated

04:39by the people at large.

04:45And sometimes it so happens that the work is of a nature that it requires an active

04:57attempt to mold the thoughts, opinions, beliefs of people.

05:05That is obviously a blessing to all concerned.

05:15Such people are remembered in history precisely because they impacted others in a very beneficial

05:28way.

05:29So now your question has taken a certain nuance.

05:36It is not as if impressing others per se is a problem.

05:43The question is, why exactly do you want to reach out to the minds of others?

05:52And here we are finding out two separate reasons that need to be seen very differently.

06:05The usual prevalent reason is, I impress you so that I feel good about myself.

06:17Why do I need to impress you?

06:19Because I am not sure of my own self-worth.

06:25I am not convinced about who I am.

06:30Since I am not convinced of myself, therefore I require your ratification to feel a little

06:40more certain, a bit more secure.

06:45That's the usual reason why we are so attention-hungry.

06:53Needless to say, this kind of attention-seeking behavior is good neither for the one seeking

07:02attention nor for the one giving attention.

07:10So keep your little self aside and see how you can very positively, just to use the common

07:30word, impact the lives of others.

07:37Maybe you will begin with a desire to get value and appreciation from them.

07:46But if you are really doing something that is for others' benefits, then you will realize

07:55something quite extraordinary, which is that by the time you find that you are immersed

08:06in the act of helping others, the desire to gain appreciation from them in return would

08:17have either vanished or reduced greatly.

08:24Such is the nature of selfless work.

08:29Even if it begins motivated by the desire to be respected and noted, yet in the very

08:40process of carrying out the act, you find that your mind has been gradually purified

08:50and that now you do not feel a compelling urge to get appreciation in return.

09:03Some of the best-known names in history to whom humanity remains perpetually grateful

09:14have been people who have impressed others.

09:21I understand that you would not want to call a Krishna or a Buddha an impression maker.

09:30But please do see that they surely occupy a very central and a very indelible place

09:42in the minds of billions.

09:49So if you indeed have to have a place in others' minds, why not have a place like that?

10:01Enter others' lives, not as an exploiter, not with violence, not with the motive to

10:13extract something from them, enter others' lives with a great assurance that there is

10:24nothing much that you want from them except their own welfare.

10:30That is a great way to relate with others.

10:34And you see, in every relationship, there is going to be mutual impression creation.

10:44It is not possible to relate to something or somebody and not have some change in your mind.

10:55Every relationship impacts you in a certain way.

11:00In other words, every relationship impresses you in a certain way.

11:05So if impression making has to inevitably happen, why not make it happen in the most

11:15pious and auspicious way possible for yourself and for others?

11:22The fundamental thing to be remembered is, there is nothing that others can give you

11:37by way of their admiration, nothing.

11:43If you are an admiration seeker, you are already a bit inferior, incompetent, incomplete

11:59in your own eyes.

12:02In such a scenario, how far can others help you?

12:10So drop the hope that a person who is not alright in his own eyes can start feeling

12:20better just because he has tricked others into having a good or grand image of himself.

12:31It won't work.

12:34How better it is to approach others with an inner assurance and completeness, not with

12:43the idea that the other will be able to provide something to you that will bring your richness

12:52or self-respect to your life.

12:55If you do not have self-worth or self-respect or self-esteem, there is no way the other

13:04can give it to you by just admiring your manufactured attempts to get admired.

13:18The other may not know what he is admiring you for, but for sure you do know that what

13:25you are getting from him is just due to your well-thought-out and surely crafted attempt

13:38at gaining his mind space and attention.

13:44You know where his response is coming from.

13:48You know his response has been extracted from him.

13:53So his response will not really be able to satisfy you.

13:57No point trying that method, right?

Category

Transcript

Be the first to comment

Recommended