- 1 year ago
If u r feeling stuck watch
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00:00Yeah, you should be upset.
00:02You should call for a timeout and you should say, what the heck is going on?
00:07Spending your precious days for someone else's dreams, missing out on living your best life?
00:12I know you have this lurking feeling, and it's a sad truth that most people approach
00:18life all wrong, but fortunately, adjusting your approach to life to optimize for your
00:24own happiness only requires a mindset shift that can be brought about through a handful
00:29of actions, and we're going to get right into them in this video.
00:34Here are five actions we can focus on to correct how we are approaching life.
00:39They are, one, get curious and question things, two, connect with your core values, three,
00:47shape your vision, four, pack your ideal week, and five, identify daily habits.
00:55Let's dive in.
00:56Action number one, get curious and question what makes a real good life.
01:02Here's a relevant quote from the author Audre Lorde, if I didn't define myself for myself,
01:08I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.
01:13Active shaping of your own life path means to question what has been set for you by external
01:19forces.
01:21This requires forming a muscle, taking a step back and being curious, asking yourself if
01:26your current life path is right for you.
01:29It won't be easy at first, because we are coded from birth and sometimes this coding
01:34leads us astray, and to break out of that coding requires a good system of being curious
01:40and questioning to get down to the first principles for you.
01:44Now, an important distinction here is that we need to be honestly and sincerely looking
01:51for your own truth.
01:53Asking questions and refuting for the sake of it and without any specific goal is going
01:58to lead you even further astray and is a waste of your time, and you need to be able to take
02:03in good external input.
02:06Good guidance and information are very important inputs to determine what is true for you.
02:11So it's very important to not misunderstand.
02:14This is not a call for absolute rebellion.
02:16It is a call for the search for truth, which requires a healthy, curious mind.
02:22What you should be asking and what you should be building will become more clear as we go
02:26through the video, but first, just know that you need to build up your curiosity and do
02:31not just assume the pressures on you are best for you.
02:34The hope here is that you will be able to form your own path within your circumstances
02:39and this will lead to a real good life, defined by you.
02:45And with this, we now move forward.
02:47To identify the truth for you, the next action helps set the foundation.
02:53Action number two, connect with your core values.
02:58Here's a fitting quote from the motivational speaker, Tony Robbins, setting goals is the
03:03first step in turning the invisible into the visible.
03:06But those goals must align with your core values to provide true fulfillment.
03:12Getting crystal clear on your core values and highest principles provides an internal
03:16compass to guide decisions and evaluate how you spend your time.
03:21Your core values are soul level guides revealing what makes you truly happy.
03:26They emerge from peak experiences where you feel lit up, fully self-expressed, and wildly
03:31alive.
03:33Examples of values include creativity, community, authenticity, adventure, service, and freedom.
03:40But the exact words matter less than the feelings and states they evoke in you specifically.
03:47Here's a simple three-step process to get clearer on core values as your North Star.
03:53Make a list of three peak life experiences where you felt positive, energized, and fully
03:57alive.
03:58An example of a peak life experience for me was when I taught a college class on authentic
04:03communication.
04:04Now next to each, write the core values that were present for you then.
04:09Again, dig into the essence behind words like passion, connection, etc. and define
04:15what they mean to you.
04:16Core values that were present in my peak experience example are educating, empowering, improving
04:23others' lives, having a valuable expertise.
04:26For your top three core values, write how you would know these states are active in
04:31your day-to-day life, what feelings, emotions, and behaviors emerge that are most aligned
04:37with those core values.
04:38Get specific.
04:40How I would know a core value was present would be, I have an audience that is wanting
04:44to receive my guidance.
04:46I am continuing to grow my expertise and value that I can offer to others.
04:50I feel helpful.
04:51I feel compassion and humility.
04:54This helps shape these core values for you and gives them more color.
04:58The more detailed and clear these core values are, the better that you can acknowledge them
05:02when they are needed.
05:03When aligned to chosen values rather than external expectations, you gain energy and
05:09direction to pursue an inspired existence beyond the status quo.
05:14Action number three, craft your unique life vision.
05:18Here's a fantastic quote from author Viktor Frankl.
05:22What man actually needs is not a tensionless state, but rather the striving and struggling
05:27for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task.
05:32And man here is of course referring to any human and could apply to any living thing,
05:37really.
05:38The next step is taking the core values you unpacked and envisioning what future state
05:42they would lead to.
05:43A future state where you consider your life one that was very well lived, one that was
05:48purpose driven and true to you.
05:51This envisioning work helps override fears and uncertainty about whether this different
05:55way of life is realistic or sustainable.
05:58You begin to make it concrete by drawing out your destination.
06:02Having a north star to anchor to means you can always do an audit of how far you are
06:08and if you are moving in the right direction.
06:10Here's a simple yet powerful exercise to get started on developing a unique life vision.
06:16It's called a vision map.
06:17Do this on a table or on a wall.
06:20Use sticky notes to post up ideas of an ideal life.
06:23Start with one sticky note in the middle that says, my ideal life.
06:28Then post sticky notes of characteristics of your vision life that you would like to
06:31strive for.
06:32You'll notice there are common topics emerging and you can consolidate those stickies into
06:36groups.
06:37You then can look at the map frequently and reflect and add and adjust as you see fit.
06:43This becomes a living vision map that you will fine tune over time and working with
06:48it will make sure that it becomes a part of your psyche and subconscious which is quite
06:53powerful at moving you towards the goal.
06:57What thoughts emerged for you from thinking about the exercise?
07:00Do you know of any additional prompts and exercises that have been useful in shaping
07:04your life vision?
07:06Please share them in the comments below.
07:08It'll help out the entire community.
07:11Following the visioning work, the next action helps to bring the macro of vision down to
07:16the micro of your daily habits and actions.
07:19It brings this life direction change down to your precious hours and minutes.
07:25Action number four, pack your ideal week.
07:29The poet Carl Sandburg shares an enlightening thought through this quote, time is the coin
07:35of life.
07:36It is the only coin you have and only you can determine how it will be spent.
07:42Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.
07:47Grab a blank weekly calendar and map out your ideal week incorporating the core values and
07:53vision uncovered in our earlier points.
07:56The only rule is that it has to be realistic based on your situation now.
08:01What would perfectly balancing obligations and self-care look like?
08:05How much time for creative outlet versus household duties?
08:08What small pleasures like baths or morning walks can replenish you versus serving others?
08:13How will you honor relationships while also establishing boundaries around your evolving
08:19needs?
08:20Get detailed in plotting out an ideal week where all areas of your life feel nurtured
08:26versus neglected.
08:27Where's the squeeze and stress?
08:29Where do you feel deprived?
08:31How can you inject more small acts of alignment every single day?
08:36This is something you can also place as sticky notes on a wall, possibly next to your vision
08:40map.
08:41This way you can see it, assess it, edit it frequently, and it gets absorbed into your
08:45mind.
08:46This creates a workable construct of an ideal week that you can strive for today.
08:51And with this clarity, you can now take on the next action to make incremental shifts
08:56to progress towards your chosen life direction.
09:00Action number five, identify daily habits.
09:04And here's a quote from author Stephen Covey to kick it off.
09:07You'll never change your life until you change something you do daily.
09:11The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.
09:15Now that we have our foundation and our core values and we have our North Star in our vision,
09:21that basically means we know where we stand now and where we want to be.
09:26Well then, according to Stephen Covey, and I believe this to be the truth, what will
09:31get us to our desired state are intentionally placed daily habits that drive us in the direction
09:37towards our North Star.
09:39We know that if we don't set any systems in place, any driving forces of our own, then
09:44life will naturally suck us back into the pull of the masses and we will mostly live
09:49an extrinsically motivated life.
09:51That's the exact thing we are trying to break out from.
09:54These daily habits are what will keep us in check as long as we are smart about which
09:58ones we commit to and balance the amount that we take on so the plan is sustainable and
10:04we don't quit.
10:05And because we mapped out our ideal week, we can place these intentional daily habits
10:10onto that view of the week and see where things can be slotted in and adjusted.
10:16You are making practical steps towards something very actionable.
10:20If your vision consists of a certain state of physical fitness, then your daily habits
10:25should include some form of exercise and healthy diets.
10:28If you envision having a portfolio of rental properties, then your daily habits should
10:33include saving money and attending real estate professional gatherings.
10:37I think you get the picture.
10:38This is where you get very tactical since you've already laid out the broad strokes
10:42of your unique life plan.
10:44Yeah, you may have been fooled for a long time in life, but good thing is, it's never
10:51ever too late to take control of your life.
10:53And taking control does not mean that you need to change everything.
10:58You've done great things to get where you are now.
11:01Let's build on all of that and get you just feeling that much better about things.
11:05That's what we're all about at Feel Real Good, right?
11:08And I'm sure that you all have some valuable tips, thoughts, questions to share as well.
11:13And if so, please leave a comment.
11:17Your comments are important for this community to grow.
11:20And if you'd like to get some additional tips on powerful daily habits, check out this video
11:24here.
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