- 2 years ago
The phrase "nearest and dearest" often evokes a sense of warmth, family, and close relationships. It's a term that brings to mind the people we hold closest to our hearts—our family, friends, and loved ones. However, in the context of British television, "Nearest and Dearest" takes on a different meaning, referring to a classic sitcom that captured the hearts of many.
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
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FunTranscript
00:00I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:02I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:04I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:06I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:08I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:10I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:12I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:14I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:16I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:18I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:20I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:22I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:24I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:26I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:28I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:30I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:32I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:34I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:36I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:38I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:40I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:42I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:44I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:46I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:48I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:50I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:52I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:54I'm sorry, I can't help you.
00:56He blows his mind.
00:58Well, he better stop it off.
01:00It's bad enough when he blows his nose,
01:02and I'm blowing his mind.
01:04I'm just saying, Walter,
01:06you just want to calm down, you know,
01:08calm down.
01:10You're too effafluvious altogether.
01:12Have you been?
01:14Now he went when he was at your house,
01:16but I don't know whether he's been.
01:18I'm just saying, have you been?
01:20I think he's been.
01:22I think he's been.
01:25Hey, Up.
01:27She's here again.
01:29Oh, hello.
01:33Oh.
01:35You mean her, what had, er...
01:37That there.
01:39She thinks she's everybody because her husband's
01:41the landlord of the Spread Eagle.
01:43Well, she says he's her husband.
01:45Mind you... Oh, sit up.
01:47She's looking.
01:49Inhale her.
01:54She keeps looking at our Walter.
01:58She'd look at anything in trousers.
02:02Still, I'm used to it with Walter.
02:04Well, yeah.
02:06I mean, it's the way he holds hisself.
02:10Just saying, it's the way you hold yourself.
02:16All this stops the bother, doesn't it, of the washing line in the backyard.
02:20Mind you, Walter always used to hang it out for me.
02:26He'd hang it out like the little belt.
02:30Just saying, he'd hang it out for you, Lily.
02:34In the backyard.
02:38I can hear you, Nelly Pledge.
02:41I beg your pardon?
02:43I said I can hear you talking about me.
02:46Excuse me, but I wouldn't mucky my tongue by talking about you, Alice Butterworth.
02:53Oh, yes, you did. I heard you.
02:56Little pigs have got big ears.
02:59Well, you'll know all about pigs, seeing as how you live in a pigsty.
03:05Are you incinerating that my house is not fit for human consumption?
03:13It's the same with those pickles of yours. I know where they've been.
03:18I wonder if anybody knows where your beer's been.
03:22I've seen you empty the slop tray back into the barrel after you've wrung your mop rag out into it.
03:29I remember what they used to call you at school, Picker Lily Nelly.
03:34I remember what they called you, Easy Alice.
03:41Two Alice-y balls and she sure knickers to anybody.
03:46When she had any on.
03:50Right, three pints of Esbitter.
03:52Thanks, Billy.
03:53Here, have one for yourself.
03:55Ta.
03:56Cheers.
03:58Same again, please, Billy.
04:11Coming up.
04:12Hey, your turn to pay Stanley, get your money out.
04:15I can't pay, I've spent up.
04:17Must be your turn then, Grenville.
04:19Oh, sorry, Mr. Eli, I've no money left.
04:22Hey, we're sorry about that, Eli.
04:24Oh, not to be sorry, lads.
04:26I've got plenty of money left.
04:28So you lot can piddle off back to Pickleworth, going off with me.
04:32Here, I've just poured out three pints, Eli.
04:34It's all right, Billy.
04:35Two for me, one for you.
04:37Good health.
04:45By hell, it's a bloody hard life, Billy.
04:51Right, this machine's free, whoever's next.
04:53That's us.
04:54Excuse me, I'm next.
04:57You're not next.
04:58I've been sat sitting there long before you ever came in.
05:01Oh, no, you have not.
05:02I was in here when you came in.
05:04You were not.
05:05And take your dirty washing out of the way.
05:07I don't want your dirty fesses desiccating my night desire.
05:13Take your hands off my nightie, Alice Fletch.
05:16That's not your nightie, that's my nightie.
05:18It isn't, it's mine.
05:19That is my nightie.
05:20It's my nightie.
05:21It's my nightie.
05:23Now you've done it.
05:24You've made me flaming mad now.
05:27Here, Walter, sear off.
05:36Walter.
05:37Don't panic, Lily.
05:38Now, I'll tell you what we'll do.
05:40I'll give him some artificial perspiration.
05:44First of all, I'll undo his clothes, you see.
05:48No, I think you'd better do that.
05:50I mean, after all, he is your husband.
05:54Hello, what's the matter with the straw dog?
05:56It's Walter.
05:57He's had a terrible shock.
05:59Why?
06:00Has he seen you with no clothes on?
06:02Shut up, you.
06:03He's had a very nasty mishap.
06:04Well, I'll tell you what, Lily.
06:05We'll keep some brandy in that cupboard for emergencies like.
06:08Pour a glass out, eh?
06:09Oh, right.
06:10Now, pull yourself together, love.
06:11Now, don't go.
06:13Think of what you're leaving behind.
06:15Think of your Lily.
06:17Are you trying to polish him off?
06:19He was down at the laundrette.
06:21There was an awful set too.
06:23And that Alice Buttercup,
06:24she pushed him into one of those big washing machines.
06:27Well, let's face it, Lily.
06:28He looks like a bundle of bag wash.
06:30It was awful.
06:31All that water kept spurting into his ear holes and up his nose.
06:34And he'd gone round four or five times
06:36before I could open the door to that thing.
06:39I'll tell you what, Lily, though.
06:41I'll tell you, if he does, you know, pass on,
06:44I mean, his suit will be nice and clean for the funeral.
06:49Here's brandy, Eli.
06:50Cheers.
06:53I thought that was for our water.
06:55I'm not wasting it on him, he might be dying.
06:57Oh.
06:59Shh.
07:00He's trying to say something.
07:01What did he say?
07:02Oh.
07:03What did he say, Nellie?
07:04He said he's going.
07:05Oh, he can?
07:06Of course he can.
07:07He'd better.
07:08We've only just had this cupboard cleaned off this setting.
07:12That's it.
07:13Ah.
07:14I mean, you'd better go along with him, you know.
07:16Oh.
07:17And unfasten things for him.
07:20Well, you know what that back door of ours is like.
07:24You and I, Pledge,
07:25you'd better sort out that Alice Buttercup.
07:28She's already bandolierly down at Walter,
07:30and she has much as said that I was only threatening to send her shilling.
07:35Nellie, I'm not getting mixed up in your squabbles.
07:37I've got better things to do.
07:38Such as?
07:39Going down to Spread Eagle for a drink.
07:40You're not going down to that pub,
07:42that woman's pub, after what she's done to me.
07:44I don't go in there to drink with Alice Buttercup.
07:47I go in to drink with her Billy.
07:49Yes, he's a very good friend of mine, you know.
07:51Yes.
07:52We've been in some very tight corners together.
07:53I've seen you in those corners,
07:55and you were very tight as well.
07:56You'd better go along with him.
07:58Well, I've got nothing against him.
08:00It's her.
08:01I mean, and if you'd anything about him,
08:03you're my brother.
08:04You wouldn't go in that pub any more.
08:06Well, I'm going.
08:07I am going, see.
08:08And if you and Alice Butters want to behave childishly,
08:10that's your flaming lookout, innit?
08:12Go on, then.
08:13What are you doing?
08:17Good.
08:18See what you've done.
08:19Now, all right, then.
08:20You go in to that pub,
08:22and when you come back here,
08:23one of these days you'll find me here and I'm not here.
08:26I'll be at the bottom of that canal.
08:28The bottom of the canal?
08:29Yes.
08:30I'll believe that when I hear the splash.
08:31Right.
08:32Go in to that rotten pub.
08:33Go in to that rotten pub and I'll be there.
08:35I'll come in there and drag you out.
08:37Well, please yourself.
08:38But if you go in that canal,
08:40I'm not coming in there to drag you out.
08:48Well, hello, Billy.
08:50Hello, Alice.
08:51So nice to be back here where I belong.
08:54Give the pint, Bill. I'm spitting feathers.
08:56Tell him, Billy.
08:57Come on with that pint, Billy.
08:59My mouth tastes like a Turkish wrestler's body belt.
09:01Eli, there's something I've got to tell you.
09:04I don't like this, you know.
09:05Tell him.
09:06What's up?
09:07Eli, you're barred.
09:09What?
09:10You're barred, Eli.
09:11Get off. A joke's a joke.
09:13Well, I'm bursting for a pint.
09:14You'll get no more drink in this pub, Eli Pledge.
09:17After what your Nellie said to me, not a chance.
09:20Look, I know you and that Nellie have had a bit of a...
09:22No member of the Pledge family gets a drink in this pub again.
09:25Oh.
09:26Only over our Billy's dead body.
09:28Yes, well...
09:30She forced me to do it, Eli.
09:32Look, Alice, look, I always come in here.
09:34It's me local, you know me.
09:35Eli Pledge is smiling us on.
09:38I turn you on.
09:39Well, I'm turning you off.
09:41You're barred.
09:42I'm sorry, Eli.
09:43Out.
09:44That's right, and good riddance.
09:46He's nasty when he's had a drink.
09:49He's nasty before he's had a drink.
09:52Oh, shut up, you two.
09:54Billy, Alice, I'm appealing.
09:56Not to me. Out.
09:57Come on, Eli Pledge.
10:00Get your backside off that stool. Come on.
10:02No more supping in this pub.
10:04Come on, home you go.
10:05Otherwise I'll have to carry you there. Come on.
10:08They've barred me.
10:09You what?
10:10They've barred me.
10:11They won't let me have a drink.
10:12They say I'm not to come in here any more.
10:13He'll get no more drink in this pub.
10:15You're not barring our Eli.
10:17Give him a flaming drink.
10:19I won't.
10:20He's knocked over his last glass in this house.
10:23Nellie, what am I going to do?
10:24Oh, shut up and stop triting, you big girl's blows.
10:28Ha, see, so that's right, is it?
10:30You're not going to give him a drink, eh?
10:31Right.
10:32All you picklers from Pledge's Pickles, get up.
10:35Come on, sup up and get out.
10:37Come on, the lot of you.
10:39Sup up and get out.
10:40Come on.
10:41Anybody caught supping in this pub any more, gets the sack.
10:45Do you hear me?
10:46Gets the sack.
10:55Put that in your pump and pull it.
11:02Get off there.
11:03Get off.
11:04I've donkey-stoned that step four times today,
11:06and it's come back and done it again.
11:09What?
11:10That German sausage dog from next door.
11:12That flaming splash-hound.
11:15You mean dash-hound?
11:17As far as I'm concerned, it's a splash-hound.
11:20Oh, I see.
11:21I see.
11:22I see.
11:23I see.
11:24I see.
11:25I see.
11:26I see.
11:27I see.
11:28I see.
11:29I see.
11:30It's a splash-hound.
11:35I think we've got that one without the run.
11:38I can see it all now.
11:41So can I.
11:43Bye, those curtains can do with a wash.
11:46All right, sup.
11:47Talk of your bloomers.
11:50I tell you what.
11:51What?
11:52There's only two fellas in that taproom.
11:53I wish I were one of them.
11:54Oh, so...
11:55Look what you've done to my car, Daryl.
11:57Well, I'm sorry.
11:58Well, I'm fed up.
11:59and where's it got you?
12:00Never mind where it's got me, it's where it's going to get that woman, isn't it?
12:03She's not likely to get what she was getting when she was getting it.
12:08Not from Pledge's Pickles, anyway.
12:10That reminds me, they're not buying any of our pickles, are they?
12:13You're spitting again the wind down, Nellie, if that's what you're doing.
12:15Them workers don't like it of ours.
12:17They used to use that pub.
12:18And then there's me.
12:20What about you?
12:21Well, I'm a local, aren't I?
12:22I feel like a snail that's lost its bloody shell.
12:26Well, it's not me that's barring you.
12:28It's that woman, isn't it?
12:29Well, Nellie, sink your pride, make it up with her.
12:31I'm pleading to you.
12:33They need me on that dominoes team.
12:34They're sliding right down the table.
12:36Sliding under the table, more like.
12:39All right, I'll tell you what I'll do.
12:40What?
12:41I'll get her on the phone and see if she's ready to apologise.
12:44Will you really, Nellie?
12:45Yes.
12:46You're a little belter.
12:50Look at the length of this thing.
12:52I keep meaning to phone them up and tell them to take it in a bit from the exchange.
12:55It's too long, isn't it?
12:58What are you doing? What are you doing?
13:00You're flicked.
13:01Come here.
13:02Get your leg over it.
13:03That's it.
13:04Put it here.
13:05Grab dial number.
13:06Go on.
13:07Stop buzzing.
13:08Oh, yeah.
13:15That's it.
13:16Hello, is that the Spread Eagle Hotel?
13:18Is that Easy Alice?
13:22I've rung you up to give you a chance to say you're sorry.
13:25You've got to say you're sorry.
13:26Don't you pick on only me, you flamer.
13:30And you.
13:33Shut your mouth when you're talking to me.
13:42Come in here.
13:44What the hell are you going to do now?
13:46I'm starting a second front.
13:48That woman will be sorry that she banjoleted Nellie Pledge.
13:53Al, have you done it?
13:54Yes, Commissioner Nellie.
13:55Let's have a look at it.
13:57One out, all out.
13:59Support for Eli Pledge.
14:01Support for Eli Pledge?
14:03I've been barred, not bloody ruptured.
14:08Hey, it's a demo, Mr Eli.
14:11You and Nellie wants me to go out there and pick it.
14:15It'll never get well if you pick it.
14:19Al, you know what we're doing, don't you?
14:21Peaceful protest.
14:23And if anybody interferes with you, bash them.
14:28Oh, Nellie, you've done it now, haven't you?
14:30You've gone out, Nellie, haven't you?
14:31You're out of the flame and you, Ben, look where you are.
14:33I could have you put away for this.
14:35I'll have you put away if you're not careful carrying on like that.
14:38I'm doing it for you.
14:39I mean, I'm not having you lay lying there while everybody walks all over you.
14:44Oh, well, that's all I'm short of.
14:46Twiggy and the boyfriend.
14:49Well, I just thought I'd call in Nellie.
14:51Nellie?
14:52Well, Eli, how are things?
14:54Oh, mine are all right. How's your Walter?
14:57Take a look at him.
14:58Come on, he's just sulking just because he can't go in that pub.
15:01Oh, how long has it been now?
15:03Oh, three weeks.
15:04Oh, don't I flame him, do I?
15:05Hey, Nellie, try to talk some sense into our Nellie, will you?
15:08She won't let any of our pickles go in that pub
15:10and they're not buying any of our flaming pickles.
15:12I had heard other pubs wouldn't buy them either.
15:14No, it's all because that Alice Butterworth's a big spit, you know,
15:17and the licentious, er, victuous, you know.
15:21Hey, it could all be settled in five minutes,
15:23then all the pubs that sell our pickles again
15:25and we could go and have a pint.
15:26Or ten.
15:27Shut up, you.
15:29If you'd done anything about him, he'd be over at that pub now.
15:32Thanks very much. Don't wait up, I've got some serious drinking to do.
15:34I don't need going over there to drink.
15:36I mean, go over there to fight.
15:38I'm not fighting that Alice Butterworth. Not me.
15:40I remember her when she was at school.
15:42She was cock-at-yard.
15:43If you want to fight, fight all you want.
15:45Leave me out on it.
15:46Oh, so you mean you're going to be neutered?
15:52Neutral.
15:54Oh.
15:55And knickers.
16:00See, there's no sense, you see, to our Eli at all.
16:03I mean, he just won't take a stand.
16:05I mean, not like your Walter, you see.
16:07I mean, you'd take a stand, wouldn't you?
16:09Eh? For your Lily?
16:11HE CHUCKLES
16:13Of course he would.
16:15Hey, Miss Nelly.
16:17What the hell are you doing here with that?
16:20Didn't I tell you to walk up and down outside the pub with that?
16:23I have been doing.
16:25But I've got that horse to muck out.
16:27Hey, and I've got to get round and take my deliveries.
16:30Oh, hey, Walter will all ban it for you, Nelly.
16:32He'll be glad to do it.
16:34Will you, Walter?
16:36Will you go outside and do it?
16:40That's right.
16:42And I tell you what, Walter.
16:44In a bit, I'll come outside and relieve you.
16:50I'll come out and hold it for you.
16:56HE CHUCKLES
17:06Psst!
17:07Who is?
17:09Psst!
17:11Oh, hello, Eli.
17:15Hey.
17:17Is it all right for her to come in? Is she safe?
17:19Aye. Our Alice has gone down to the public health offices.
17:22Then what was... What the hell are we whispering for, then?
17:25She's taking a jar of your pickles to be analysed.
17:27Oh, well.
17:29That cat from the chippy's been getting in our place again.
17:33Billy, I'm pleading with you.
17:35Give us a pint. Give us a pint. Certainly.
17:37But if our Alice comes in, you've got this out of me before us.
17:40All right, then.
17:42Aye, go me, lie.
17:44We've had a terrible slack time this past three weeks without you.
17:46Yeah, we've had to cancel our holiday to Majorca.
17:48You'll have to be Thornton, Cleveless.
17:50Oh, forget it, Bill.
17:57Oh, Bill.
17:59I needed it. I missed it.
18:01Oh, we've missed you, Eli, lad.
18:03We're selling three barrels a week less now.
18:05I do my boozing down at Red Lion, but it's not the same.
18:08Oh, what are we going to do, Eli?
18:10I mean, I've pleaded with our Alice.
18:12She says your Nellie's got to apologise.
18:14That's what our Nellie says.
18:16She says your Alice has got to say sorry to her.
18:18She'll never do it.
18:20No, neither will our Nellie.
18:22Oh, well.
18:24Billy, I've got it.
18:26Well, you shouldn't sup that Red Lion ale.
18:28No, that you did.
18:30I'll write a letter to your Alice
18:32as though it's from our Nellie saying she's sorry.
18:34Right? Right.
18:36You write a letter to our Nellie from your Alice
18:38saying she's sorry.
18:40That way, they'll both think the others apologised first.
18:42You're a proper bobby dazzler.
18:44Oh, I wasn't behind the door when Braids were giving out, you know.
18:46Good help.
18:54I've got the sugar.
18:56There's a letter just arrived.
18:58By hand. I wonder who it's from.
19:00Well, open it and see who it is.
19:02Come on.
19:04I'm a fool.
19:06Yes, it's...
19:08Well, anything interesting, Nellie?
19:10She says,
19:12Dear Nellie...
19:16What the hell's that, Shorthand?
19:18No, it's an apology.
19:20Oh.
19:22She says she's very sorry and humbly begs my pardon
19:24because she can't sleep for fretting over what she's done.
19:26Anything else?
19:28Well, there's a psst.
19:30There's a what?
19:32A psst.
19:34P.S., Shorthouse.
19:36P.S., Shorthouse.
19:40It said that the spread eagle is not the same
19:42without Eli's smiling face.
19:44Now that I have apologised,
19:46I hope Eli can come back.
19:48Well, can he?
19:50Of course you can.
19:52I'm not one to bear a grudge.
19:54That woman is not holding a viper in her bosom.
19:56No.
19:58She is letting you come in.
20:00You what?
20:02So let bygones be bygones.
20:04Right, I'll just pop over and have a quick drink.
20:06Yes, and I'll go and have a wash.
20:08And a shave.
20:10Then I'll phone our Nellie
20:12and tell her to come over and then we can all cohabitate.
20:14Oh, what?
20:16Oh, no, no, no, I wouldn't do that, Nellie.
20:18Certainly. I'm going to bury the hatchet.
20:20Yes, right in my bloody head.
20:24Here you are, Henry.
20:26And that's not going on the slate.
20:28Thank you very much.
20:30Thank you, love.
20:34Ah, hello, Eli.
20:36Love, come in, lad, come in.
20:38Are you sure it's all right, Alice?
20:40Well, of course it's all right, love.
20:42Pint?
20:44Yes, please.
20:46Eli? What?
20:48Your Nellie's done the grand thing.
20:50She's written an apology to me.
20:52Oh, has she? She said she had, yes.
20:54She said she hoped deep down in her heart
20:56that there'd always be a pint for you here, Eli,
20:58behind this back.
21:00Is there something wrong, Eli?
21:02No, no, no, no, no, no.
21:04I've just got something in my eye, that's all.
21:06I'll have a pint. Hey, Billy.
21:08It worked. Ah, too bloody well.
21:10And Nellie's coming round here with a smile on her face
21:12like Ted Heath opening a new labour exchange.
21:22Don't stand up.
21:24Hello, Alice.
21:26I thought I'd, er,
21:28just put a poultice on that misunderstanding of ours
21:30and, er, draw it out
21:32by coming over here and having a drink.
21:34That is, if I'm welcome.
21:36Well, of course you are, Nellie, love.
21:38Well, I was just standing at home
21:40and I thought how silly of me
21:42when I could be over there
21:44sat sitting with Alice.
21:46Well, make yourselves at home
21:48and we'll all have a drink.
21:50William?
21:52Have you got a couple of knock-out drops you could give him?
21:54Don't panic. Are we finished?
21:56Finished? We were finished when they started talking to each other.
21:58Billy.
22:00Four-part lemons. Doubles.
22:02Excuse me, but our Walter's is a small one.
22:08That's it. There's no answer to that, is there?
22:12Is that right, Walter?
22:14Yours is a small one?
22:16That's right, a small one.
22:18Oh, Nellie, you know that bit of bother we had
22:20at the laundrette? Well, I'm very sorry
22:22I ripped your nightie.
22:24It's quite all right. I mean, it wasn't mine.
22:26No, I thought
22:28when I took it out it was
22:30but when I put it back, it wasn't.
22:32It wasn't mine.
22:34That's funny.
22:36No, well, you see, it was Walter's.
22:42Well, I mean
22:44no, it doesn't matter really, does it?
22:46I mean, now that you've apologised
22:48I mean, everything's forgotten.
22:50I beg your pardon.
22:52I mean, don't worry a bit.
22:54Don't worry a bit. I mean, to err is human
22:56and your erring is forgotten.
22:58Excuse me.
23:00I haven't apologised to you.
23:02You've apologised to me.
23:04It's started. Get us a pint, quick.
23:06You wrote to me grovelling.
23:08I did no such thing. You wrote to me grovelling.
23:10Now, girls, girls, girls
23:12and Lily
23:14never mind about
23:16you apologising to each other. Let's have a drink and forget it.
23:18You shut up, you big fleas armpit.
23:20Nellie, listen.
23:22It was Billy
23:24that wrote that letter to you.
23:26You what?
23:28And Alice, I wrote that letter to you.
23:30You what?
23:32You big toll rag.
23:34Don't you call our Eli a toll rag.
23:36I'll do more than that. I'll knock his flaming head off.
23:38Oh, you will, will you? Stand back.
23:40Oh, by heaven, stand back.
23:42Thank you, Aunt Nellie.
23:44Yes, don't worry. Nothing to it.
23:46After all, blood is thicker than water.
23:48I'm going to knock your head off.
23:50It's going to be me.
23:52And I'll rub your bloody nose.
23:54Now, Nellie, now, Nellie.
24:18Music
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25:26Music
25:28Don't have to keep you waiting
25:30about here, don't they?
25:32Look at the time, it's quarter to.
25:34Oh, I must get a little hand put on this spot.
25:36Laughter
25:38Oh, Walter loves it in here, you know.
25:40He likes to see the washing going round
25:42and it sends him.
25:44Laughter
25:46What do you mean it sends him?
25:48You know, it sets him off.
25:50It blows his mind.
25:52Well, he better stop it off.
25:54It's bad enough when he blows his nose
25:56and I'm blowing his mind.
25:58I'm just saying, Walter,
26:00you just want to calm down, you know, calm down.
26:02You're too effafluvious altogether.
26:04Laughter
26:06Have you been?
26:08Now he went when he was at your house
26:10but I don't know whether he's been.
26:12I'm just saying, have you been?
26:14I think he's been.
26:16Laughter
26:18Hey look,
26:20she's here again.
26:22Oh.
26:24Laughter
26:26Oh, you mean her,
26:28what had...
26:30That there.
26:32She thinks she's everybody because her husband's the landlord
26:34of the spread eagle.
26:36Well, she says he's her husband.
26:38Shut up.
26:40She's looking.
26:42Here, nail her.
26:44Laughter
26:48She keeps looking at our Walter.
26:50She'd look at anything he'd trousers.
26:52Laughter
26:54Still, I'm used to it with Walter.
26:56Well, yeah.
26:58I mean, it's the way he holds
27:00himself.
27:02I'm just saying, it's the way
27:04you hold yourself.
27:06Laughter
27:08All this stops the bother,
27:10doesn't it, of the washing line
27:12in the backyard. Mind you,
27:14Walter always used to hang it out for me.
27:16Laughter
27:18Did he hang it out?
27:20Like the little belter.
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