- 2 years ago
The phrase "nearest and dearest" often evokes a sense of warmth, family, and close relationships. It's a term that brings to mind the people we hold closest to our hearts—our family, friends, and loved ones. However, in the context of British television, "Nearest and Dearest" takes on a different meaning, referring to a classic sitcom that captured the hearts of many.
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
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FunTranscript
00:00Nearest and Dearest, P584, stroke number six, part one, take one.
00:06And that is the best part of the show.
00:30¶¶
01:00Well, I'm ready.
01:04What the hell have you got on your head?
01:06That's my new hat.
01:08Look, it's not Ladies' Day task hat, you know.
01:10We're only going to the cemetery.
01:12How are you going to wear that? I'll put it on Graeme.
01:14My dad always liked us to look smart.
01:16It's nice, isn't it?
01:18Yes. Here we have Nelly in her latest parish creation in shocking pink.
01:23With a matching bead frock and surgical stockings.
01:27It's all right, you making fun of me.
01:29This is a 20-guinea model. They only made one like this.
01:32I'm not surprised.
01:34I think you're raving mad. 20 guineas?
01:36Well, I didn't pay 20 guineas for it.
01:39Well, how much? 19 and 11.
01:42You were done. Do they give stamps with it and all?
01:45I bought it second-hand from Sissy Cocker.
01:47Sissy who?
01:49You know Sissy Cocker. Second-hand wardrobe dealer.
01:53She sounds more like a Spaniel.
01:56Sissy Cocker, you remember her?
01:58Discarded clothes and bereavements specially catered for.
02:03Oh, does she lay them out and all?
02:05She buys all your clothes when you've passed on.
02:08She bought me dad's when he passed on.
02:10I wonder if she ever got smell of pickled onions out on them.
02:13Well, they're much better off like that, you know,
02:15than laying up in that attic up there amongst all the other rubbish.
02:19Hey, you remember that flat cap me dad had?
02:22Yeah.
02:23Oh, with the press stud in the peak.
02:26I saw it last week on the market.
02:28Really?
02:29Yes, a nice good-looking fella had it on.
02:32Ooh, you know, white collar and everything, you know.
02:36Nice to know it's found a good home, isn't it?
02:38Yeah.
02:39I thought I saw his raincoat as well on a Pakistani.
02:44Yeah, but when I felt at it, it wasn't his.
02:48You haven't seen his long cons about anywhere, have you?
02:52Come on in. I brought this round.
02:54Thank you very much. What is it?
02:56Horse manure. Smell it.
02:59Take it away.
03:00It's all right, Nellie. It's for me.
03:02Horse manure?
03:03Yeah.
03:04What, are you thinking of putting it behind your ear to fertilise your brain?
03:07For your information, it's for the garden.
03:10Is it today's?
03:11Aye.
03:12Aye.
03:13What about that attic?
03:15It's no use spreading it up there.
03:17You'll never get note to grow in an attic.
03:20I'm not talking about that.
03:22That attic's got to be cleaned out today when we come back from that cemetery.
03:25Why can't I do it tomorrow?
03:26Because tomorrow is Sunday and Sunday is a day of rest.
03:30Remember what the good book says?
03:32Six days shalt thou be in labour.
03:37Hey, if you're clearing out up there,
03:40there's some things of mine up there that your dad was storing for me.
03:43I'll go and get them.
03:44No, you won't. You'll wait till we come back to the cemetery.
03:47I won't. Wait a minute.
03:48We haven't time.
03:49All right.
03:51Go on, get ready.
03:53Can I speak to you about some new shoes?
03:56New shoes?
03:57I've heard enough about you and your clodhoppers.
04:00Not for me, for me arse.
04:03What, you mean Storm?
04:04Has he worn them shoes out already?
04:06That is nearly down to his hoof.
04:08He wears more shoes out than Georgie Best.
04:11Can't he have his old ones sold and healed?
04:13Hey, can I get him some new blinkers and a new bridle and bit?
04:18Why don't you take him down to Kwop and have done with it?
04:22And get him a new blazer and a pair of flannels.
04:26I'm only doing me job. There's none here to get on at me.
04:29You might be boss, but I'm entitled to a bit of respect.
04:33I'm old enough to be your father.
04:36You're old enough to be everybody's father.
04:39Gets his blood up.
04:41You know, I've been thinking, you know, we ought to put him out to stud.
04:44Who?
04:45Stan.
04:46Oh, the arse.
04:48Oh, I've got a better idea. Let's put him to sleep.
04:52Who, the arse?
04:53No, Stan.
04:55Oh, come on, get me coat on.
04:57It's quarter past.
04:58Must get a little hand put on this watch.
05:01What?
05:04What's all the hurry?
05:06Well, I want to get down to the cemetery to me dad and mum.
05:09Oh, don't fess yourself, Nelly.
05:11They're not going anywhere.
05:14Hey, well, what do you think?
05:16Plain and ungarnished.
05:18Very nice.
05:19Mm-hm.
05:20I say, what's this?
05:21What's what?
05:22Hey, how many have we got in here?
05:25Well, you know as well as I do, two.
05:27Mum and dad.
05:28Well, behind our back, they've stuck another one in.
05:31Don't be soft, they can't do that.
05:33Well, what's this down here, Whittaker, then?
05:35Well, Whittaker, that's the name of the man who made the headstone.
05:39Oh.
05:40The big girl's blouse.
05:41Oh.
05:42They always put the name on there.
05:44Put some water in there.
05:45Aye.
05:46They've done it very well, I think.
05:48Very nice.
05:49Left room for you and me.
05:53Well, there's no need to bother for me.
05:55I'm not going down there with you lot.
05:57Aye, we're not good enough for you.
05:59Do you want all of your own?
06:02I don't want all of it at all.
06:04I'm donating my body to medical science.
06:07Oh, they'd be very pleased to have it.
06:09Looking for the missing link for you?
06:12It's no good, Nellie.
06:13I'm not being buried, it's not healthy.
06:16Oh, no.
06:17Well, you won't be worrying about your health when you're dead, you daft clot.
06:22My body belongs to medicine.
06:25Oh, and what's going to happen on the day of the insurrection?
06:29When Gabriel blows his horn and we all rise up, where will you be?
06:35Eh?
06:36Scattered about the infirmary in jam jars.
06:42Well, look for the jar with the eyes in it, because they'll be looking at you.
06:48Sorry, we have to go now, Mum and Dad.
06:51Ever so sorry.
06:52We haven't really got so much time, you see, just now.
06:55Because our Eli, he's got to clean out the attic.
06:59And I've got to stew in the oven.
07:02Say ta-ra, Eli.
07:05Who the hell's to?
07:07Say ta-ra to Mum and Dad.
07:09Ta-ra, Dad. Ta-ra, Mum.
07:14Oh, hello, they've got a headstone on at last, eh?
07:18She didn't spend much of insurance money on that, did she?
07:22Thomas, beloved husband of Polly Slattery.
07:25We two are but briefly parted, only for a little while.
07:30He were never with her when he were here, you know.
07:44Never been so ashamed in all my life.
07:46Well, I thought you had some money.
07:48Well, you knew very well when we set off I didn't have my purse with me.
07:52And this, all this pantomime, just because you didn't have enough money on you to pay the bus fares.
07:57You'd have been all right if you'd have jumped off at traffic lights, like I told you.
08:01Lights were at green, I'd have got run over.
08:05Chicken.
08:07What's that?
08:08What?
08:09Well, what's the...
08:11Hey.
08:12It sounds like it might be a burglar.
08:15There's somebody upstairs, do you think?
08:17I'm sure there's somebody...
08:18There can't be, we're both down here.
08:20Well, there's somebody I heard... There they are, somebody upstairs.
08:23Well, if it's a burglar, be quiet and he'll go away.
08:27Go up and see who it is.
08:28No, what? No.
08:30Go on, go and see.
08:31No, I'll meet him when he comes down.
08:34Look, it's your duty to look after me.
08:36Well, don't go jumping the gun.
08:38Let him attack you first.
08:48No wonder they lost.
08:50They couldn't see where they were going.
08:53Come on, Nathan.
08:54Wait a minute, wait a minute.
08:56Hey, come out, wherever you are.
08:58There's 12 of us out here.
09:00If you don't come out and give yourself up, we'll break door down.
09:08Hello.
09:10What are you doing here, Stan?
09:12I'm just looking for me things.
09:14You left that door open.
09:15See, that's you again.
09:17Leave it back door open, we could have had a burglary.
09:19If a burglar wanted to find out good here, he'd have to bring it with him.
09:23I've got some real antiques in that parlour
09:26that many a museum would be proud of.
09:29Give over.
09:30You mean the two China dogs on the mantelpiece
09:32and the cherry boy on Windersill?
09:34It's not what they cost.
09:35It's their detrimental value.
09:38Hey, I think I'll go and have another root round.
09:41Just a minute, Raffles.
09:44If there's any rooting to be done, we will do the rooting.
09:48Why? What are you so anxious to find in there, Stan?
09:51It's just some private papers.
09:53Yes, well, all right.
09:54Then if we find them and they're yours,
09:56we'll give them to you, won't we?
09:58Well, I only thought that.
09:59Yes, well, don't think.
10:01I don't fancy your grubby hand rifling amongst my relics.
10:06Go on.
10:09Ooh, God, what a smell.
10:11Me!
10:12Ah, well, he's left his manure.
10:14Oi, Percy Thrower!
10:17Oh, he's gone.
10:18Ooh, it must be years since I were up in this attic.
10:22I tell you, I want Christmas.
10:24Last time I was up here, that Christmas, you know,
10:27when we came up here and found you with that bus conductress.
10:31You said she'd brought you home cos you'd gone past your stop.
10:35You're going back a bit now.
10:37Yeah, Christmas 1942.
10:39Yeah.
10:40It's gone home then, has it?
10:42We were only pulling crackers, you know.
10:44What, for four hours? In the dark?
10:46Here, look what I've found. Teddy.
10:48Do you remember him?
10:50Yeah, I couldn't forget him, could I?
10:52You wouldn't go to bed without him.
10:54Well, lots of lads go to bed with a teddy bear.
10:56Yeah, not after they're 16.
10:59Hey, I found me rickers, look.
11:01Oh, yeah.
11:02I never could play the damn things.
11:03Oh, look here.
11:04A photograph of me and Billy Mackeyson.
11:07First lad I ever went out with.
11:09Ooh, a smart dresser.
11:10Parted his hair in the miggle.
11:12I can see him now, with that lovely suit on, that navy blue,
11:15with his wide bottoms.
11:17He said he'd buy his bottoms in gold.
11:2027 inches.
11:22Yes.
11:23Oh, you couldn't see his shoes, you know.
11:25He looked as if he was sort of riding along in armcasters.
11:31Hey, I found some old letters, look.
11:33Oh, yes.
11:34Hey, that's the letters.
11:35From me mam to me dad.
11:37Private Jay Pledge, 3rd Battalion, Lancashire Fusiliers.
11:40Somewhere in France.
11:418th September, 1914.
11:43Here, that would be just after they were married.
11:45Yeah, fancying the still here.
11:47Aye.
11:48Ooh, I see.
11:49What's this?
11:50Hey, that's funny.
11:52What?
11:53It's a letter from me mam to, er, to Stan.
11:55What?
11:56That Stan?
11:57Yeah, that me newer Stan.
12:00Private Stan Hardman, 2nd Battalion, Lancashire Fusiliers.
12:04Ashton Barracks, Lancs.
12:06Yeah, well, that's it.
12:08You mean, are you sure it's our mam that wrote that?
12:10Oh, this is me.
12:11I wonder what the hell she'd write to him for.
12:13My mam's writing all...
12:14Well, they were friends, you know.
12:16I mean, me dad and me mam and, er, Stan and his AD, you know.
12:20I wonder what it's saying.
12:22Well, there's only one thing to find out, isn't there?
12:24Hey, hey, do you think we should?
12:25Well, it can't hurt after all this time, can it?
12:27No, I suppose not.
12:28Corn, January 1916.
12:31Oh, yes, hey, you weren't born then.
12:33I'd be about nearly two.
12:35My own darling Stan.
12:37Hey, you've got to be kidding. She never said that.
12:40I'm not, you know.
12:41Look, my own darling Stan.
12:43It's a bit thick even among friends, isn't it?
12:45Hey, come here, let's have a look what she says.
12:47Here, go on then, read it.
12:48What?
12:49Read it, go on, let's find out what it says.
12:50All right, I'll read it then.
12:51My own darling Stan,
12:53I have missed you very much since you went back.
12:56I miss your face next to mine on the pillow when I wake up each morning.
13:03Our little baby girl has just got another tooth.
13:06It's got to be you.
13:08And yesterday, Dr Molyneux confirmed that you were going to be a daddy again.
13:14I hope it's a boy for you.
13:16Phew.
13:17The weather here is...
13:19Never mind the bloody weather, I think.
13:23I'm going to have a turn, I think.
13:25Hey, that's as far as it goes.
13:29Far enough, don't you think?
13:31Now, calm down, Nelly, calm down.
13:33Oh, calm down after what I've just read?
13:36Oh, dear, I can't, me mam, me mam,
13:39and that Stan, that specky-eyed manure man.
13:45Steady on, Nelly, that specky-eyed manure man is our dad.
13:49And you know what that makes us, don't you?
13:52Don't say it.
13:54Well, I've often been called one.
13:58I never thought I was one.
14:03APPLAUSE
14:19Have a bit of my egg, butty.
14:21Oh, I couldn't eat a thing.
14:23I'm too upset.
14:25Fancy, I've been living a lie all these years.
14:28I'm our mam, and that's Stan.
14:31I'd rather be descended from King Kong.
14:34Well, it's all here. What can't speak can't lie.
14:37We'll have to have a new flowerpot, you know, for that grave.
14:40Why?
14:41Well, I mean, it says, to our mam and dad, R.I.P.
14:45Well, it's not true, is it?
14:47Our dad's not R.I.P-ing it.
14:50Don't worry, Nelly, we'll save it.
14:52It'll do for Stan when he goes.
14:54What do you mean?
14:55Well, he is family, you know.
14:57He's entitled to be in that grave.
14:59He's not going in that grave.
15:01That grave was made for four.
15:03We're not all up chin-up for him today.
15:06Oh, let me think.
15:08Hey, Nelly, I've been thinking.
15:10If our dad is not our dad,
15:12then we're not his rightful heirs, are we?
15:15No, we're not.
15:16Now, wait a minute.
15:17He left that pickle-fat litter his rightful heirs.
15:20Now, if we're not his rightful heirs, who is?
15:24I don't know.
15:25Happen it's the horse.
15:28Well, I'll tell you one thing for sure.
15:30I wouldn't give you a chance much for the president
15:32of the Church Women's Guild when this lot gets out.
15:35It's not getting out.
15:36We're not putting placards up, you know.
15:38You mean we're going to pretend it never happened?
15:40No, we're not.
15:41I've sent for Lily and Walter,
15:43and for Stan and his mother.
15:46We're going to have a proper family conflagration.
15:49That's the first time you ever said the right words.
15:53Come in.
15:55Oh, Lily. Walter.
15:57Come in.
15:58Sit down, won't you?
16:00Have you had your tea?
16:01No.
16:02Pity, we've just had ours.
16:05Is it true what you told me?
16:07Every word.
16:08Hi, Lily.
16:09Aunt Nellie and me were a couple of...
16:11Hey, see you later.
16:13What does that make me and him?
16:15Will we be?
16:16Yes, twice removed.
16:19Have you told him?
16:20Boo, you and Walter.
16:22Oh, no, he'd only go blabbing it about.
16:25I've noticed he hasn't stopped talking since he came in.
16:28Well, what are we all waiting for?
16:31We're waiting for our dad.
16:33That man, if you don't mind.
16:35I'm not having him called our dad in this house.
16:38KNOCK AT DOOR
16:39That's them now. Come in.
16:42Hello.
16:43Oh, Mum, how could you do this?
16:46Oh, look, it's Grandpa.
16:48Look at him.
16:49It's all true, we've both got the same nose.
16:53You what?
16:54Have you brought your mum?
16:56Aye, but she gets a bit short of breath.
16:58She's not as young as she used to be.
17:00Come in, Mum.
17:03You all know me, Mother.
17:05Well, I've never met her personally.
17:07I saw her in Psycho.
17:10I'll thank you to be a little more respectful.
17:13My mother's had the telegram from the Queen.
17:15Oh, aye? How many times?
17:17Come in, Mrs Hardman.
17:19Get up, Lily, and let Mrs Hardman sit there.
17:22Sit next to Walter.
17:23No, I'll sit next to Walter.
17:28Look at them, they look like a pair of bloody bookends.
17:32What is it you wanted to see me about, Miss Nelly?
17:35You know, you dirty beast.
17:38Now, Mrs Hardman.
17:39Yes?
17:40I've got a shock for you.
17:41Oh, that's nice.
17:43But we've got one already.
17:45Stanley's father got it when he retired from the mill.
17:49It's a chimer.
17:51Not a clock.
17:52A shock.
17:56Just a minute.
17:58Is that your hearing aid?
18:00Pardon?
18:01She says, is that your hearing aid?
18:04No, it's me brooch.
18:06It's sticking into me bust.
18:10Look, look.
18:11What is it you wanted us for?
18:14You know, you catanova.
18:17Now, look, Mrs Hardman.
18:18I've something to say to you.
18:21You'll have to excuse her.
18:22Her mind wanders off now and then.
18:25Ah, well, you'll let us know when it comes back, won't you?
18:28Where are you going?
18:29He's not going anywhere, Nelly.
18:30It's just that when he sits too long, he gets cramp.
18:33This is a serious meeting.
18:35Not a flaming physiotherapist.
18:37Let him sit down and...
18:39Look at that, eh?
18:41Forever Amber gone off.
18:44It's obviously no good asking her to remember things.
18:47She can't remember things that happened ten seconds ago,
18:49never mind about 50 years.
18:51Oh, well.
18:52We'll have to tell it to it, then.
18:54Him.
18:55That did it twice.
18:58Let's be adults about this thing and do it proper.
19:01Now.
19:02Here is Exhibit A.
19:04Addressed to the defendant.
19:06Do you deny that this letter was written to you by our ma'am
19:09when you were...
19:10Oi, umperdink!
19:12What?
19:13Oh, yeah.
19:15This letter.
19:16L-E-T-E-R.
19:20Which we found in that attic.
19:23Do you deny that that was written to you from our ma'am?
19:27May she have her look?
19:33No, she wrote it.
19:35Brace!
19:36Ha! I often wondered how them glasses worked.
19:39Do you deny being the father of the said children
19:42referred to in this letter?
19:44No.
19:45Shameless.
19:46Your witness.
19:48I know.
19:49The awful truth is out and all the shame of it.
19:53You.
19:55We are now face to face.
19:57You and your two bits of forbidden fruit.
20:01How you could do it, I don't know,
20:03with your best friend fighting on the sum,
20:06shedding his blood...
20:08...and his bodies in shells and shrapnel.
20:11Now, where were you?
20:13Ashton-under-Lyme.
20:15Well, I couldn't help it.
20:17I got a posting.
20:18Compassionate.
20:19Passionate more like.
20:22And this is what you were rooting for in that attic, isn't it?
20:25Well, when you said you were clearing out in the attic,
20:28well, I was a bit embarrassed.
20:31Embarrassed?
20:32What do you think we were?
20:34Your mum was very kind to me.
20:38If you ask me, she were too bloody kind.
20:41Well, we kept it a secret all them years.
20:45Just between four of us.
20:48You mean me dad, who wasn't me dad,
20:50thought he was me dad?
20:52He knew?
20:53Oh, aye.
20:54And my aider.
20:56In fact, it was your dad what suggested it.
21:00Well, it's all coming out now, isn't it?
21:03The secret fleshpots of coal.
21:06Our aider was very ashamed of it.
21:09But I told her not to worry.
21:11There's plenty of people who can't write.
21:14What?
21:16Well, your mum, she used to write to me on aider's behalf.
21:22You mean, although my mother wrote this letter,
21:28your aider wrote this letter,
21:30because your aider couldn't write,
21:33my mum wrote it.
21:35And so, your aider wrote this letter,
21:39although my mum wrote it.
21:43Right?
21:44Right.
21:49Hey, hey, what's all the fuss about?
21:52Oh, nothing.
21:53I knew as soon as I thought of it.
21:55Oh, yes.
21:56There's no resemblance, is there?
21:58No.
21:59I mean, he ain't got my high cheekbones,
22:01or my good colouring either.
22:03What's she on about? What's she on about?
22:05Excuse our Eli.
22:07He's got a peculiar sense of humour sometimes.
22:10Will you stop and have a cup of tea, love?
22:12Well, we don't want to put you to too much bother.
22:15Oh, it's no bother.
22:16I mean, we've always looked upon you as one of the family.
22:25Well, it's nice to know we're legitimate, isn't it?
22:29See, one thing we told him about it before we accused him of it,
22:32he'd have had us up for definition of character.
22:35Hey, look what I found.
22:37A photograph of our mum and dad on the wedding day.
22:40Oh, let's have a look. I haven't seen this before.
22:43Oh, you can tell it's our dad all right, can't you?
22:47I've got his blue eyes and that aqualung nose.
22:52Oh, it's our dad, there's no mistaking.
22:55Hey, there's something written on the back.
22:56Oh, me mum too.
22:57I never suspected her for a minute.
22:59An angel of a woman, me mum.
23:02Hey, Nellie, you were born in 1915, weren't you?
23:05Yes, 1950.
23:07I was born in 1917.
23:09Yes, 1917.
23:11Have a look what's written on the back.
23:15Joshua and Sarah pledge marry June 8th, 1918.
23:32APPLAUSE
24:02APPLAUSE
24:21Nearest and Dearest, P584, Stroke No. 6, Part 1, Take 1.
24:26And that is the best part of the show.
24:32SILENCE
25:03MUSIC
25:22Well, I'm ready.
25:25What the hell have you got on your head?
25:27It's my new hat.
25:29Well, it's not ladies' day, Tascot, you know.
25:31We're only going to the cemetery.
25:32Are you going to wear that or put it on Grabe?
25:35Me dad always liked us to look smart.
25:37It's nice, isn't it?
25:39Yes, here we have Nellie in her latest parish creation in shocking pink.
25:44With a matching big frock and surgical stockings.
25:49It's not all right, you making fun of me.
25:50This is a 20-guinea muggle.
25:52They only made one like this.
25:53I'm not surprised.
25:55I think you're raving mad.
25:5620 guineas?
25:57Well, I didn't pay 20 guineas for it.
25:59Well, how much?
26:0019 and 11.
26:03You were done?
26:04Do they give stamps with it and all?
26:05I bought it second-hand from Sissy Cocker.
26:08Sissy who?
26:09You know Sissy Cocker.
26:11Second-hand wardrobe dealer.
26:13She sounds more like a spaniel.
26:16Sissy Cocker, you remember her?
26:18Discarded clothes and bereavements specially catered for.
26:23Oh, does she lay them out and all?
26:25She buys all your clothes when you've passed on.
26:27She bought me dad's when he passed on.
26:29I wonder if she ever got smell of pickled onions out on them.
26:32Well, they're much better off like that, you know,
26:34than lay lying up in that attic up there amongst all the other rubbish.
26:38Mmm.
26:39Hey, you remember that flat cat me dad had?
26:41Yeah.
26:42You know, with Preston in the peat.
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