- 2 years ago
The phrase "nearest and dearest" often evokes a sense of warmth, family, and close relationships. It's a term that brings to mind the people we hold closest to our hearts—our family, friends, and loved ones. However, in the context of British television, "Nearest and Dearest" takes on a different meaning, referring to a classic sitcom that captured the hearts of many.
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
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Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
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FunTranscript
00:00Nearest and Dearest, B584, number 4, part 1, take 1.
00:30Music
00:57Missed you young gee guy!
01:00The Duke of Edinburgh.
01:04Stan, I asked you to look like a commissioner, not bloody Major Barbara.
01:10Well, it were either this or my own guard jacket, but I keep my arse warm with that.
01:15I've got a dozen birds coming in here this morning. They've not come here to be saved. We'll have that off for a start.
01:22Hey, I wonder what you and Ellie think about your taking on the secretary behind her back.
01:27What the hell's it got to do with her? I'm Gaffer, aren't I?
01:30Ah, when she's away.
01:32Ah, well, by the time she's finished with me auntie May at Cleveley's, it'll be too late to do nothing about it, won't there?
01:38I'll have a real secretary in here doing everything for me. And typing as well.
01:45So you can start showing them in. Let's have the info on the first little nympho.
01:50She's called Miss Labia.
01:52Oh, la belle française, eh? A Danish bit.
01:56Now look here. When they come in, like, when they start showing the talent in, would you mind not calling me young Eli?
02:04No, call me something like, well, anything you like. Like sir.
02:08Right-o. Sir young Eli.
02:15Won't you sit down, Miss Labia? Are you comfortable? Good.
02:18Have, er, have a nutty rag.
02:21Would you, er, like a light, would you? There you are.
02:26Right, er, now, Miss Labia, would you like to come and sit over here?
02:29I've got something I'd like you to take down.
02:34Ah, come in, Commissioner. Come in, Miss Labia. I'm very pleased to...
02:43I've been followed. With a fella.
02:47All the way from Cleveland. On the bus.
02:51I can feel his hot breath on me neck.
02:54And he were four seats behind me.
02:58Still there. He nearly had me at the corner of Brick Street.
03:03I caught me foot in a nick.
03:06Did you want to put an advert in paper, Miss Pledge?
03:08You what?
03:09Did you want to put an advert in paper?
03:11Oh, yes, I wanted to put one in his smalls.
03:13In, er, in memorandum.
03:16In memorial.
03:18Hey, there's a woman. Another woman. He's talking to a woman.
03:23She's put her hand through his and they're walking away.
03:27Ooh, aren't women awful?
03:32What advert did you want to put in? Your Eli's already been in.
03:36Has he? What's he been up to then while I've been away?
03:40Situation's vacant.
03:42What? In our factory?
03:44Yes.
03:45Hmm. Opportunity knocks.
03:50Young vital pickle magnet.
03:53Seeks personal private secretary opposite sex.
03:57Naturally. With view to see how it goes.
04:01But he'll need a botton. Something more than a box when I get hold of him.
04:06And it'll have a lid on, I'll tell you.
04:09You've forgotten you're in memorandum.
04:12I'm afraid you're not quite what I'm looking for.
04:15Why not?
04:16Well, I mean, er...
04:18Well, you've, er...
04:20Well, you don't speak Hindustani, do you, for a start?
04:24The advertisement didn't say anything about Hindustani.
04:28Oh, we have to have Hindustani.
04:30I mean, we've got customers in every corner of Europe.
04:34Yes, yes, I mean, I can't hang around while you look up the Hindustani for Piccadilly.
04:38Can I?
04:40No, no, no. You run along. You run along and work on it.
04:45And come back, will you? That's the idea.
04:49In about 40 years' time.
04:52What's a right Chamber of Honours?
04:55I wonder who's next on the Miss Slagheap competition.
04:59Ah, yes, the winner. Miss Slagheap, 1968.
05:02Who do you think you are?
05:04Patrick Tidemark?
05:08Sights. Sitting there like a big business typhoon.
05:12And what's all this language, eh?
05:14Eh? Eli Pledge. Firps.
05:16F-R-P-S.
05:21Fellow of the Royal Picklers Society.
05:25Well, you're not a member of that.
05:26I am. I'm the first.
05:28Eli Pledge. To what depths are you going to sink?
05:33Well, well, well, I thought you were my Auntie May in Cleveland having a freak-out.
05:37Well, I had to come away, so I went.
05:40Why?
05:41Well, she dropped dead last night.
05:45Oh, what a shame. Well, there's my holiday's gone for a bloody bert.
05:50Oh, she were gone before she knew we were going.
05:52And I nearly caught up with her too when I found out what you were doing too.
05:56Advertising for young girls.
05:58We can't afford some slighty bit to be sat sitting there on her brains and tittying herself up
06:04just to squiggle a few lines.
06:06Squiggly lines? Squiggly lines? Short hands, short house.
06:17We have a secretary. We have a secretary, don't we?
06:20Oh, we have, have we?
06:21We always have had, yes.
06:22Talk about keep it dark, it's a black pudding.
06:25Where the hell does she work?
06:27It's on the red cabbage machine.
06:29What? Oh, they call Scarlett O'Hara.
06:33No, Bertha Bertwistle.
06:36Oh, lovely hand. She has it off.
06:41Have you not? Have you caught a red-handed?
06:44Don't be awful. No, I mean, she writes beautiful, you know, really,
06:48with semi-comas and explanation marks and punctualitations.
06:55Oh, shut up.
06:58If you ask me, Bertha's caught a dose of the writer's cramp.
07:02Wash your mouth out. She's a clean-living girl.
07:05All I can say now is that since our dad died, Bertha ain't been on job.
07:10Oh.
07:11Have you any idea what this is?
07:15That is the pending tray.
07:17I would have brought the in-tray over, but British Railways refused to do the bloody removal.
07:23We are so far behind with our correspondence, it's not true.
07:26What about this?
07:27Dear sir, regarding your inquiry for the pickle concession at the forthcoming Festival of Britain.
07:34Oh, when is it?
07:41Oh, hello, Miss Nelly.
07:42Hello. What are you supposed to be?
07:44Second engineer on a bacon slicer?
07:49Do you like it?
07:50Made me a commissar.
07:53Just a crack on to them tarts, like.
07:55Tarts.
07:57That's his mark.
07:59No use sending maids of honour for him.
08:03There's another one outside.
08:04What's she like?
08:05I don't know. I can only see her shoes from under me hat.
08:09Left hand down a bit, Stan.
08:11Sure in.
08:13I'd better just look her over, you know.
08:15Yes.
08:17Look her over.
08:19Climb every mountain.
08:24Go on, Sir Edmund Hillary.
08:27Well, like, I was wondering, like, love, if you'd, er, like, er, like to...
08:32Get out of it.
08:34Whether you'd like to, er... Yes, well, have a seat, will you?
08:38Oh, thank you.
08:44You, er, yes, well, have a seat, will you?
08:46Sit down there.
08:48Oh, I say, yes.
08:49Well, now, get out of it.
08:51We'll, er, we'll have these off for a start.
08:53We don't need those.
08:55It's, er, Miss, er...
08:56Miss Moore.
08:58Any relation to don't have any more, Mrs...
09:02Miss Nemany Moore.
09:04Nemany.
09:05Nemany.
09:06What a pretty name.
09:08Ah.
09:09What you gawking at?
09:11Well, haven't you got something to put to her?
09:13You're being nasty.
09:16Ask her a question.
09:17There's only one question I want to ask.
09:19Er, when can you start?
09:21As soon as you want me.
09:23Oh, well, that's settled then, isn't it?
09:24Don't be so fast.
09:25Aren't you going to test her out?
09:27What?
09:29Now, in front of you.
09:32Take down her particulars.
09:36Oh, I, er, I don't have to.
09:38They're all in order.
09:40Will be.
09:41I don't think I've met this, er, this lady.
09:45Well, I suppose you could call her that.
09:47Now, let me see.
09:48How is it best to describe her?
09:49Yes, she's our Miss M. Pledge.
09:52How do you do?
09:53Breathing.
09:56I thought perhaps it might be Mrs. Pledge.
10:02You mean my mother?
10:06Can I have a word in your ear, all?
10:08In the empty chamber room.
10:11You what?
10:12You know, where we executioners go when there's some trouble brewing.
10:17In the parlour, you big girl's blouse.
10:22Excuse us, enema.
10:26What's wrong with her?
10:27What's wrong with her?
10:28You can tell a mile off what she is.
10:31False hair, false fingernails.
10:35All that cascara on her eyes.
10:38Big things hanging from her ear holes.
10:42Our Nellie's jealous, our Nellie's jealous.
10:45Our Jelly is not Nellie's.
10:49The one thing about me, all mine, is me own.
10:53That's because nobody else will have it.
10:57I say, we are not spending our good pickling money on wages on that painted piece.
11:03What have you got to say to that?
11:05Well, Nellie, looking at it from every angle,
11:10and I am looking at it from every angle,
11:14she starts to moan.
11:20Ah, now, where would you like it, love?
11:24Would you like it by the window, or would you back to the fire?
11:28Well, it'd be nice here, but this is in the way.
11:31Oh, that's our Nellie's rubber plant, chuck it out at Winder.
11:34Are you sure?
11:35Aye, it's senile. It's sucking all the goodness out of the air.
11:40It does look a bit evil.
11:42It strangled Cat last week, didn't it?
11:46Hey, Neminine Onix, might I ask who's flitting?
11:51I mean, why and to where?
11:54Neminine is flitting to and to here. It's her new office.
11:57Oh, yeah? What, in my parlour? Says who?
12:02Says me, as joint managing director, so get knotted.
12:06She's not bringing her bits and pieces into my parlour,
12:09where my dad was lay lying, lied dead.
12:12Why, you never use it?
12:14Well, parlours are not for using. I mean, they're for keeping.
12:18For what?
12:19Things.
12:21Not things like that, either.
12:24Funerals, and when it's our turn to have them at Christmas.
12:27All right.
12:29Like me Auntie May, who sang one chorus to dry I'm dreaming of a white Christmas,
12:32north Sutthold out Bloody Chimney.
12:36Well, this is not an office, and she can go to the factory.
12:41Hey, come here, the normal Zurich.
12:44She's a private secretary, right?
12:45Right.
12:46She's got to have privacy, right?
12:47Right.
12:48That's the law, right?
12:49Right.
12:501950s Act, the Parliamentary Act of 1955, right?
12:53Right.
12:54Right. Warehouses and offices outside lavatories.
12:56That's where she can go.
12:59Where?
13:00Outside lavatories.
13:02Right.
13:03Get flushed.
13:04Come here.
13:07Found it, Eli.
13:09That writing machine.
13:11All right.
13:12I've been holding down the roof of your dad's pigeon loft.
13:16I hope he doesn't write pigeon English.
13:19It's a joke. Put it there, Bert.
13:21Right.
13:22Bert, Bert.
13:23Bert.
13:24Down, Bert, down.
13:27I'll stop your bones.
13:29Right, come on, love.
13:30Let's get working.
13:31Come on.
13:32Get round there, Nimminy.
13:33There we are.
13:34Now.
13:35Ah, Miss Nimminy needs a chair.
13:36Miss M. Pledge.
13:37Would you get Nimminy a chair, please?
13:39Mr. Eli Pledge.
13:41Take a double-breasted ball of chalk and get one yourself.
13:45Charming, isn't it?
13:46Right.
13:47Sit yourself down.
13:48Look.
13:49There we go.
13:50I want you to do a memo.
13:52From the senior executive to all the working classes over there.
13:59I wonder why young Eli keeps writing to us instead of coming across the yard to tell us.
14:05Well, he's got that young lady to do all his letters for him.
14:08Oh, aye.
14:09Now, he's got to have someone to write to, hasn't he?
14:11Aye.
14:12And we're the only people he knows.
14:16Now, what's this about?
14:18Resuggest your box to the person who put a suggestion in last week.
14:26Same to you, only double-signed, Eli.
14:30Now, come on, then.
14:31Hey, come on.
14:32Have you fell out with your work, have you?
14:34Get over to that beetroot.
14:36You don't expect it to jump in the jars itself, do you?
14:39You don't find me stood standing gawking at all this rubbishy things our Eli's writing on that board?
14:46What's this now?
14:51Memo to somebody who's taking these memos off the notice board.
14:57If this memo is not here when I come across the yard to read it, I'll know somebody has took it.
15:04Our Nelly.
15:07Jelly Belly.
15:10Two can play at that game.
15:12Shakespeare!
15:42Nearest and dearest, take a letter, P584, stroke four, part two, take one.
16:12Hey there.
16:26Oh, you're there.
16:28Excuse me, but if it's not too much trouble, and it won't sprain you too much, take too much of a time-out,
16:38and when you've stopped tittying your hair up, could you do some secretarying for me?
16:45But Mr. Pledge has taken me to lunch.
16:48Oh, first of all, you take over my power, and then it's free dinners, eh?
16:59Get writ.
17:00Go on.
17:02Now, if you understand English, I take it, put a big piece in, because I want this thing to tell our Eli a memo.
17:12I mean, Mr. Eli Pledge.
17:15Charming man.
17:17Yes, I'm sure you would think he's an illegitimate bachelor.
17:23Strange he hasn't married, yet.
17:26Well, the one he marries, you know, would have to carry him over the threshold.
17:31Right.
17:34Still, that wouldn't be too much for you, would it?
17:38I think he's getting to the age where he'd like to settle down.
17:41Oh, what makes you think that?
17:43Just the look he has in his eyes.
17:46Well, I haven't seen him lately.
17:49Sometimes his eyes remind me of Christopher Plummer's, when he was proposing to Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music.
17:56Funny, they look more to me like the ound in The Ound of the Basket.
18:08Ah, now, did you enjoy that, love?
18:11Oh, Eli, it was really super.
18:14Do you think so?
18:15You do handle yourself well in restaurants.
18:17It's the little touches, like when you told them off for not pouring the lager out of baskets.
18:22Oh, they've no idea.
18:24Did you like the sweet?
18:26Delicious.
18:27What was it called?
18:34What was it?
18:38Oh, they always finish off with that in France, you know.
18:41But if you like that, you'll love this club tonight.
18:44They've got the most marvellous cook.
18:47He was the head chef with Anassis.
18:49Aristotle Anassis?
18:51That Greek with the big yacht?
18:53No, Fred Anassis, he's got a black pudding stall in Accrington.
18:58She's back.
18:59Oh, my love, I can see us in that club tonight.
19:02In a corner cubicle, away from the madding crowd.
19:05Ah, yes, wonderful, with you beside me in the wilderness, and only the song of a bird.
19:12You know where that came from, don't you?
19:13No.
19:14The Rubiat of Omar Sharif.
19:17Oh, where that came from.
19:18Have you had your dinner, because it's nearly tea time.
19:21Well, I am not a 9 to 5 man.
19:23No, you're not even a 9 to 9.30 man.
19:26Are we having a board meeting, or are we not?
19:28We are.
19:29Well, all right, then. Stop playing with your gonga and get cracking.
19:34You know nothing, you, and even that bit you forgot.
19:37At every board meeting, you're supposed to have a thing called a gavel.
19:40A gravel? What's that?
19:42A gavel. It's a little hammer thing, isn't it, Nemanee, and you bring the board meeting to order with it.
19:46You tried to tell me, you tried to tell me, that a gentleman like Sir Simon Lord goes around with a little hammer, hammering at board meetings.
19:57Do you think I came up the Irwell on the first Winklebarge?
20:03No, I think you came up on the bloody Noah's Ark.
20:07You've got to do things proper. I haven't got a gavel, so I'm using my little gonga.
20:11Yes, well, all right, then, Michael Myles, get gong...
20:13Michael Myles, get gong...
20:16Right. I vote she gets the sack. All in favour say aye. Aye.
20:21Now, I'll beat you to it.
20:23Point of order. You're at a board meeting, not track one at White City.
20:27That's you. That's you. Always were a bad loser.
20:31Even when we were kids and I beat you at draft, you cried your eyes out.
20:35Point of order. What about me dad, when he beat you at dirt, snakes and ladders? What did you do?
20:39You ran out the house and shouted through a letterbox to him, bomb!
20:43All right. Strike that out the record.
20:45You'll have the minutes of the last meeting.
20:46What minutes?
20:48Oh, the minutes of the last meeting me dad wrote. Bert's bringing them over now. Come in.
20:54I think this is the book you wanted, you lad.
20:56All right. Where did you find it?
20:59I found it in me...
21:02Did you really?
21:03He says there might be a few pages missing.
21:09All right, Bert, you can hop in. This book is highly confidential.
21:12Oh, that's all right, Eli. They say it's very boring, anyway.
21:16What do you want, lady? Chattel his lover?
21:19Now, the minutes of the last meeting. May the 10th, 1926. Bloody hell.
21:25Well, anyway, it says here, in accordance with the general strike...
21:28Now, get out of it.
21:29In accordance with the general strike that's now going on,
21:32Pledges Pure of Pickles have decided the government is wrong in having all these lockouts and should have had lock-ins.
21:39My dad knew politics. He could have been a mason.
21:45And it says, hey, we can't have a board meeting.
21:49Why not?
21:50Well, it's the way he ends up. I, Joshua Pledge, being of unsound mind...
21:56And I'm going to wind the company up, and so to all my shareholders...
22:05What does he mean?
22:07It means what it says it means.
22:10And he's underlined it twice.
22:11And I swallowed it twice. I don't understand.
22:15No, you wouldn't, would you?
22:17It means that we can't have a board meeting. We're out of order. Neminist days.
22:22You knew this all the time, didn't you? You snake in the woodpile.
22:28Don't blame me. Blame him up there.
22:31Oh, I'll get you for this, me darling.
22:34What are you doing? Why couldn't you rewind the company instead of leaving me all alone and out of order?
22:41Hey, you want to be careful, he'll come down a sharp bum through your letterbox.
22:45You must have been kale-eyed when you made this, you know. Like where you were when you made that will as well.
22:52Steady on, Nelly.
22:53I'm not stopping with you for another five years. Do you hear me? For another five years without any money.
23:00What? You mean he's got no money?
23:03Oh, take note of her. She's rambling. She's got hot flushes. Me credit's good.
23:07That's you. Do it now, pay later. Five years later.
23:13You didn't tell me that.
23:15No, perhaps I didn't tell you a lot of things. I mean, her who gets him gets me as well.
23:21We've got to live together for five years. That's right. That's how he made his will. God forgive him.
23:30I doubt if they've ever met.
23:32Is he portable?
23:34You're not going, are you?
23:36You don't think I've stopped here because of the working conditions, do you?
23:40Oh, push off. Nelly, you don't think she wanted me just for me money, do you?
23:47Oh, no, no, no. No, I think she wanted you for your body.
23:53Do you really?
23:55Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, I'm sure of it, really, because only this morning she was saying, she said,
24:01she said he's got the body of an 18-year-old pit pony.
24:09Oh, dear, I don't know. 400 quid's worth of new equipment and I didn't even get a nibble.
24:15I don't know what I'm going to do with it. I can't make it work.
24:18Don't worry. I got you somebody.
24:20What do you mean?
24:22Well, I mean, I think we ought to have a secretary with all this paperwork, you know.
24:26All those betting slips to make out and those parking offences to answer.
24:32Do you really mean it, Aunt Nelly? Can I have a secretary, Aunt Nelly? Can I, Aunt Nelly?
24:36Yeah, I got one this morning. Yeah, signed on for a year. Should be here by now. It's quarter to.
24:40Oh, I must get a little hand put on this watch. Come in.
24:44Oh, there you are, Willoughby.
24:46Willoughby?
24:48Take a seat, Willoughby.
24:52Take a me-mo.
24:55Dear Aunt Eli.
24:58How about that then?
26:02Nearest and Dearest, B584, number four, part one, take one.
26:57Missed you, young Eli.
27:01The Duke of Edinburgh.
27:04Stan, I asked you to look like a commissioner, not bloody Major Barbara.
27:10Well, it were hard to do to me home guard jacket, but I keep me arse warm with that.
27:16I've got a dozen birds coming in here this morning. They've not come here to be saved. We'll have that off for a start.
27:22Hey, I wonder what you and Nelly think about you taking on a secretary behind her back.
27:27What the hell's it got to do with her? Aunt Gaffer, aren't I?
27:30Ah, when she's away.
27:32Ah, well, by the time she's finished with me auntie May at Cleveley's, there'll be too late to do nothing about it, won't there?
27:37I'll have a real secretary in here doing everything for me.
27:41And typing as well.
27:44All right, so you can start showing them in. Let's have the info on the first little nympho.
27:49She's called Miss Livia.
27:51Oh, la belle francaise, eh? A Danish bit.
27:55Now look here. When they come in, like, when they start showing the talent in, would you mind not calling me young Eli?
28:03Oh?
28:04No, call me something like, well, anything you like. Like sir.
28:08Right-o. Sir young Eli.
28:12Ah. Won't you sit down, Miss Livia? Are you comfortable? Good.
28:18Have, er, have a nutty rag. Would you, er, like a light, would you? There you are.
28:25Right, er, now Miss Livia, would you like to come and sit over here?
28:29I've got something I'd like you to take down.
28:32Ah, good, good.