- 2 years ago
Funny#aghamajid#saleemalbela#
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Dosto aapko agar duniya mein bahut se aise log nazar aatein, jo aapko lagta hai ke wo
00:06haisiyat mein, aap se kisi tarah bhi kam hai, to yakeen jaanein aap ek maghroor aur mutakabbar
00:13shaks.
00:14Aapko bahut ajeeb lagega, kyunke aap to sochenge haan, bahut se aise log hai jo taqat mein mujhse
00:18kam hai, daulat mein kam hai, ilm mein kam hai, to chalo main ustaad hoon, uski ilmiyat
00:24mujhse kam hai, to main to waqeet behtar hoon.
00:27Yehi takabbur hai, jo aap samajhte hain ki logon mein ghroor hota hai, hum mein to nahi
00:32hai, ghroor har us shaks mein hai, jo yeh samajhta hai, ki koi usse kamtar hai.
00:38Achhaayi ko achhaayi kehna, buraayi ko buraayi kehna, yeh apni jega durust hai, lekin kisi
00:44ko kamtar samajhna yehi takabbur hai, aur aap jab pehda hua the, kisi qabil nahi the,
00:49aap jab duniya se chale jaayenge, aap kisi qabil nahi raayenge, is doraan agar aapko
00:54lagta hai ke main phir bhi doosre logon se behtar hoon, to yehi ghroor hai, yehi takabbur
00:59hai, kabhi tanhaayi mein baith ke sochiyega.
01:01Yeh tha aaj ka peghaam, isse pehle ke hum apni nautangi ki taraf badh hain, aaj main
01:07aap sabse ek iltamaas karna chahata hoon, ki iss yaum-e-azadi, 14 August jo aaraha hai,
01:13isse pehle pehle, hum ek resolution karein, hum khud se ek wada karein, ki hum wo sabse
01:17badha kaam apni zindagi mein karke jaayenge, jo karne mein bohot chota hai, lekin wo kaam
01:25bada hi azeem hai, wo kaam iss cheez ki gawahi hai, ki hum sirf apne baare mein nahi sochte
01:30hain, anewali naslon ke baare mein sochte hain, khudara, iss maadre vatan ko ek drakht
01:37kam-az-kam, iss 14 August se pehle pehle, aur iske baad bhi dete rahein, ek drakht
01:42zaroor lagaayen, balke jis qadar ho sakay aap se, aap drakht lagaayen, mere iss vatan
01:47ko, humare iss mulk ko iss waqt, drakhton ki shajarkari ki, iss mohim ki ashad zarurat
01:54hai, aur yeh maa pukaar rahi hai, iske seene pe drakht lagaayen, yeh bohot aam hai, shikwa-e-zulmat-e-shab
02:00se toh kahin behtar tha, apne hisse ki koi shamma jalate jaate, aayi issi pehgaam ke
02:06saath churu karte hain aaj ka show, aaj aapko marriage bureau mein le chalte hain, aur dekhte
02:10main kya ho raha hai, isliye nahi ho rahi hai, beemaar hain logon, logon ko iss sakh
02:15khaasi hai, beemaar hain, isliye shadiyaan kam ho rahi hai, aur nahi janaab-e-li, kaam
02:20da load bada hai, raat din jaag jaake, gale kharab ho hain, aasit bhaji iss kaam cheo
02:24overtime la rahegi hain, overtime kaise lagate ho, kaam sirte chade hain, deena maa, kyunki
02:29gaale toh kolo poori nahi na hondi, holi holi gal karte hain, shaam bhaji hindi hain,
02:34deepa hi honi thanu pata hai, saath naama da bhi thanu pata hi hai, amane dholak, sharafat
02:40shahnai, so aaj kal bhai kya wajah hai, aapka daftar bhi soona padha hai, shadiyan bhi nahi
02:45ho rahi hai, kya wajah hai, jate khol le aaye, soba soba the time hai, jate aaye hain, mehngaayi
02:48bahut ho gayi hai na ji, hun te bail poore nahi ho raha hai, te karan de kharche kitto
02:52hone hain, tu rishta meter tha karan laga, khaate kya bana rahe ho, balance sheet dhula
02:58dhulan poore kar rahe ho, sir nahi khaate shire, balance sheet dhula dhulan poore,
03:04waah waah waah, naam karne lag jana hai, bhai jaan hai, de likhe da loka de naam, address
03:09yeh hai wo, kise di bachi da, kise de bache da, phone toh tumhne kaan ko lagaya nahi
03:12hua, toh kya zehn se likh rahe ho, yeh naam hona chahiye aur yeh bachi da naam, nahi nahi
03:15likhe nahi hai, tik maar kar rahe hain, idne siyane nahi tudi, log phir kehnde hai,
03:20ko bhai changa rishta aave, te saanu dasna, change rishte te labban hi nahi de, asi
03:25choot di mabni te rishte karde nahi, kyon ke kise di tipu, tenu nere chi nahi rakhna
03:30chahiye, agar aap baat choti karein toh shayad zyada rishti ho gaye, accha agar stats dekhen
03:35toh around 42.5 million log hai jo unmarried hai, but wajah kya hai, log shadi karna nahi
03:41chahate hain, ya der se karna chahate hain, kyon ke ab zyada log career oriented ho gaye,
03:46ke pehle apne peharon pe khade ho jayein, phir shadi karenge, irza weather poori duniyaan
03:50da change ho rahe hain na, o weather ka kya taluka yaar, sada marriage bureau ka kambalaan
03:55da krama karna hai, accha aapne apne sawal ka khud hi jabab de diya, ke ab jo hai logon
04:01ka apne peharon pe khada hona bohot mushkil hai, pehle hota hi ye tha, ke ek nasal jo
04:05chaar paise kama leti thi, wo itne bana leti thi paise, ke kamaskam apne bachche ko kahin
04:10na kahin, kisi na kisi jega, adjust kar den, toh jaldi ho jata tha, ab toh log jo kamatein
04:15usse zyada kharcha hai, toh wo iskaabil nahin hai bachche, ke jab wo jawan hote hain, jab
04:19shadi ki umar hoti hai, toh wo kisi aur ko bhi apne ghar mein afford kar sakein, isliye
04:24jab tak aap working environment ko Pakistan mein, ye aapko bahut ajeeb baat lagegi,
04:30lekin it boils down to one thing, jab tak aurton ke liye Pakistan ka working environment safe,
04:39secure aur respectable nahin hoga, us din tak aap ye hi dekhenge, ke maashi alaat logon
04:45ke theek nahin honge, kyunke ab beevi ko aur shohar ko, dono ko milke kaam karna padega,
04:52milke ghar chalana padega, ab wo halaat nahin hai, ke aap kamaarein aur 36 log baith ke khaarein.
04:57Acha janavat, tumhare kitne bachche hain?
04:59Dekho ji, bachche tar abdi derna ho, chaave te drakhta nu laada be.
05:03Bilkul, bilkul.
05:04Asal te bech na, kinne saalda main hogayam hona?
05:07Bas hon toh marna la na.
05:12Yeh sabale, 54 aaj ye age.
05:15Wah!
05:15Aur bachche kitne hain?
05:17Biyaan nahin hoye aaj.
05:18Marriage bureau kya khaak chalaoge, tumhari toh apni shaadi nahin hui.
05:21Lokan de kara kara ke kehnde nahin bhi apna,
05:24Tarkhan di manji toh hamesha tutti rehndi.
05:26Aur Tarkhan ke bachche?
05:28Nahin, nahin, saate abbaji musician thi.
05:31Aur wo nahin kehra yaar.
05:32Main yeh kehra hoon, ke pehle apni liye koi cha rishta.
05:35Aapke toh shaadi hui hogi.
05:36Nahin, mashallah wah, Deepa ji di toh mir toh pehle di nahin hui.
05:41Sharafat Umar, tum doro ne shaadi kyu nahin ki?
05:43Abhi tak aisi kya cheez hai jo nahin mili?
05:45Nahin, nahin, aisi cheez toh koi nahin,
05:47saanu actually na rishta hi nahin mili aaya.
05:49Yeh yaar, kitna honest raaj bhi hai yaar.
05:52Deepa ji, yeh toh gal na karo,
05:53pehle baad log bekhna hai,
05:55lekin, yeh nikhi gal toh rishta chhad ke chal gaye.
05:58Kaun si?
05:58Kehnde, munda zara thoda badda ho labhe.
06:03Apne koi erdgird dekhe, koi nikhi ka kaam kare,
06:06kisi bewa se shaadi kar le.
06:07Humare maashre mein, widow aur divorced,
06:11iska stigma ab khatam ho jana chahiye.
06:13Bilkul.
06:14Khuda ke waaste logon ko yeh samjhana shuru kar de,
06:17ki yeh stigma khatam.
06:18Acha, kehne ko har aadmi kehta hai,
06:20ke nahin nahin ji, ab koi stigma nahin hai,
06:22koi baat nahin, hum nahin aisa sochte.
06:24Lekin apne bete ke liye,
06:26koi aadmi, kisi bewa ka rishta,
06:28humare bete ke liye nahin dhootta.
06:29Yeh, yeh kurbani aisi hai,
06:31jo kisi aur ko hi deni hogi.
06:32Yeh kisi aur ko deni hogi.
06:34Toh aapke paas jab log aaye na,
06:36toh khudara unhe yeh baat samjhaye.
06:39Kyuki ispar agar bahas karna chahein,
06:40toh hum ek ghanta kar sakte hain,
06:42ke ab yeh stigma khatam karte hain.
06:43Kisi karlo ghanta karlo,
06:45saanungi kaam koi nahi.
06:48Wait a minute, aa gaya hai.
06:50Parvez.
06:51Anji Parvez bhaji,
06:53theek chal rahe hain kaam,
06:54mashallah sohna hogaya biya tada.
06:57Haan, haan, haan, haan,
06:58sahi bas rahe hain saare,
07:00main karaya tere parane rishta.
07:02Arre waah, waah, waah,
07:03chalo koi toh bas rahe hain.
07:04Traffic hai nahi nahi.
07:06Teh main, yeh hi,
07:10yeh besay gaal nahi.
07:14Nahi matlab,
07:15munde nu chaah nahi ditti,
07:16kedi kyaamat aagi,
07:17nikiyan nikiyan gallah toh kaar nahi bhagaadi de.
07:20Nahi yeh dech,
07:21saanung gaala kattan da keda kaam?
07:24Tusi daftar aao bhaya ke,
07:25gaal nahi katti.
07:27Allah de naa de de de bhai.
07:30Yeh dekhe,
07:31yehno main hazaar dabar rohkiya bhi,
07:32ithe darwaze deke naa bete hain,
07:34agar saada customer aanda,
07:35prashaan huda.
07:36Kaun hai yeh?
07:37Mangan aata hai.
07:3730,000.
07:38Jakeen karo,
07:39juthhe chale jao,
07:40mangan aale hain.
07:41Mangan aale hain,
07:42aapke darwaze par aaya hai,
07:43toh usse kuchh dede hain,
07:44kuchh 150 dedo usse.
07:45Nahi, hund de hain.
07:46Parhundi phadke naa,
07:46ithi darwaze de chaat da.
07:49Oye, aaja andar hai.
07:54Hala,
07:54hun aida badda mangana,
07:55minu aap daso.
07:57Oh my god.
07:58Allah de naa de de mo.
07:59Oye, Allah ne tene pehle,
08:00thoda dita hai.
08:02Allah ne tenu jinnah dita,
08:04tu hasabtaalanj jaa ke,
08:05khundiyaan botlaan de.
08:06Yaar tumhe sharm nahi aati,
08:08apna jussa dekho,
08:10itne hatte katte ho ke.
08:12Laila da kuchh.
08:12Hatte katte,
08:13dekh katte de aata.
08:15Iski aage toh aap bhi,
08:17kuchh nahi lag rahe hain.
08:18Yeh dekhe de,
08:18main Salim-ul-Baila.
08:21Baadshah,
08:21mangan da kinnu shauk hai?
08:23Tumhe.
08:24Meri se majburi hai.
08:26Kya majburi?
08:27Mere gurde fail nahi.
08:29Oh.
08:29Yeh unhanu tuition raakh ke dinda.
08:32Unhanu kaari padhaunda rahe hain,
08:34fail de hona hi.
08:36Gurde unhu achha tuition raakh ke,
08:38aap hunde nahi.
08:39Tala tere gurde fail aate,
08:41saate gurde aane double M.A.
08:46Paaji,
08:46mera jigar bhi kharaab hai.
08:47Yaar mere do teen jigar hain,
08:49wo teenon kharaab hain.
08:50Ab mene toh kabhi nahi kaha kisi ho.
08:51Dekh lo.
08:52Nahi nahi,
08:52aaj kal aaj daur de
08:53jachha jigar labda hi nahi.
08:56Paaji,
08:56ek gaal kara.
08:57Ji ji.
09:00Oye,
09:00tere jigar dekh bhi.
09:07Kya hua?
09:08Yeh same brand toh rahe hain,
09:09toh seema.
09:14Ya Allah khar.
09:16Paaji,
09:16ithe beya rehna mat.
09:17Oye!
09:18Aaj toh baat,
09:18ithe darwaza ke baitha,
09:19main telo chittar maar ke
09:20peh jayega itho.
09:21Paaji,
09:21kaal toh aaya.
09:24Chal tabha ho jaye,
09:24nazar nahi hai ithe.
09:25Nahi,
09:25nazar thoda bota,
09:26tere nahi hona hi hona.
09:28Chal jaa jaa yaar,
09:29teno aur bata.
09:29Chal jaa jaa yaar,
09:30atta katta tu maagda phirda hai ga.
09:32Anna de khaan,
09:33padhaunde miskeena da,
09:34koi nahi.
09:35Chanda chanda.
09:36Allah de naath de baba.
09:37Aaja aaja,
09:38mera pota aaja.
09:39Assalamualaikum jee.
09:40Waalaikumussalam jee.
09:41Assalam o alaikum.
09:42Riyasat khaan jee.
09:43Bahut khushi hai.
09:43Riyasat khaan.
09:44Riyasat.
09:44Assalamualaikum.
09:45Assalamualaikum.
09:46Ya jaa.
09:47Baitho baitho jee.
09:49Sir jeenab jee.
09:50Yeh jee,
09:50pote mera.
09:52Areh,
09:52masi ki kar sakte hain?
09:55Areh jee,
09:55saate toh koi amal dakhal nahi.
09:57Tusi pehse baaru bata karo,
09:58bade bade ilaaj nikal hain.
10:01Nahi jee,
10:02nahi.
10:02Toh tawanoon kahen hain,
10:03yeh di shaadi aaste.
10:05Aacha aacha,
10:05kaat chhat de do,
10:06Inshallah pahun jaange.
10:08Kya?
10:09Woh toh udhar
10:10biyaada kahen hain,
10:11abhi yeh di shaadi
10:12hooni hain,
10:13ja hooni hain.
10:13Ek karvaani sir,
10:14shaadi baat hain.
10:15Karvaani,
10:15karvaani,
10:16pote karvaani.
10:17Karvaani hain,
10:17rishte baaste hain.
10:18Yeh na jee jee.
10:19Haan jee,
10:19haan jee,
10:19haan jee.
10:20Da UK,
10:21hunda UK.
10:22Yeh ho jehnu
10:22rakh le hono na?
10:24Nahi,
10:25uthe hona business hain.
10:26Jee.
10:26Kaapad haan.
10:27Aacha,
10:27aacha.
10:28Haan jee,
10:28haan jee.
10:28Kis cheez ka business hain?
10:30Yeh truck hain de,
10:30apne hain,
10:31aapn bana ke dite,
10:32yeh truck.
10:33Trucker hain aap?
10:34Haan jee.
10:35Aap log thodi tamiz karein,
10:36client aaya,
10:36usse client ki tarah di.
10:37Nahi client de aaya,
10:38ussi di kise di ti,
10:39yeh pehne nunner jee
10:40kida rakh hain.
10:44Mera khyaal hain,
10:45toh anu pata nahi.
10:46Kinni fees hain teri bote hain?
10:49Meri jee,
10:51aapna lakh.
10:52Haan?
10:52Yeh kinni hain jee?
10:53Aap paanj lakh di kaapi hain.
10:55Paanj lakh hi hain meri fees hain.
10:58Aacha nahi,
10:58dede paanj lakh.
10:59Ho juga,
10:59bachha paanj lakh rakho,
11:01bachha tha heera hai,
11:02har gaya tha da.
11:02Aap jatab.
11:03Heera bhi kola.
Comments