- 08/07/2024
Tomm/Jay
May 16th, 2003
Panel: Loni Anderson/Phyllis Diller/Paris & Nicky Hilton/Kathy Kinney "Mimi Bobeck"/Florence Henderson/Charo/Nicole Sullivan/Miss Piggy/Pamela Anderson
An episode of the 2002-2004 Syndicated version of Hollywood Squares, hosted by Tom Bergeron. In the bonus round of this version, contestants had the chance to win different prizes, such as $25,000 cash, luxury trips or a new car.
May 16th, 2003
Panel: Loni Anderson/Phyllis Diller/Paris & Nicky Hilton/Kathy Kinney "Mimi Bobeck"/Florence Henderson/Charo/Nicole Sullivan/Miss Piggy/Pamela Anderson
An episode of the 2002-2004 Syndicated version of Hollywood Squares, hosted by Tom Bergeron. In the bonus round of this version, contestants had the chance to win different prizes, such as $25,000 cash, luxury trips or a new car.
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00From the land of peroxide, it's Blondes Have More Fun Week on Hollywood Squares!
00:07Starring Lonnie Anderson, Phyllis Diller, the Hilton Sisters, from the Drew Carey Show, Mimi,
00:22Lawrence Henderson, Charles, Nicole Sullivan, My Fantasy, Miss Piggy,
00:34and this week's center square, Pamela Anderson!
00:40And your host, Tom, he's nominated for another Emmy, Bergeron!
00:47Welcome to Hollywood Squares, we're having a great time with Blondes Have More Fun Week,
00:53and of course our center square, the one and only Pamela Anderson, give it up for Pamela!
00:58And all our other blonde bombshells, and our hunky male contestants all week,
01:04in the circle position today, please join me in welcoming Jay Jablonski, welcome Jay, good to have you here,
01:11and Mr. X, Tom, give me two M's, Voss, how you doing Tom, good to have you here.
01:20You know the drill, tic-tac-toe, you decide whether the answers you're getting are correct or the stars are making them up,
01:26that's how you get the squares, first game is a thousand dollar game, who won the coin toss backstage?
01:31I was the lucky one. Alright Tom, you go.
01:33Pamela Anderson. Pamela Anderson, reader of the monthly column in Jane Magazine,
01:39Pamela, when it arrived in 1967, critics called it sex in a box, what do we call it?
01:46Kleenex.
01:55Something in Tiffany, I was going to say, no, English leather.
02:01English leather, I disagree.
02:03The game Twister, Twister, X gets a square, ah yes, Jay.
02:09Alright, I will go with Mimi.
02:11Mimi from the Drew Carey show, their 200th episode, airs June 25th after AFP on ABC.
02:18Mimi, if you're buying used clothes, consumer guru Ken Glickman says thrift stores have the best selection in December and January, why?
02:30Well, what better gift for the holiday than pre-owned lingerie?
02:37Best selection, I'm going to say unwanted Christmas gifts.
02:45Alright. I will agree.
02:47No, people donated in December to qualify for tax refunds for the year, X gets that one, Tom.
02:53I take Miss Piggy for the win.
02:55Miss Piggy for the win.
02:57The line of Muppet lingerie is available at Hot Topic Urban Outfitters and Target online.
03:04Yes, Thomas, Thomas, just before we get started here, I just want to thank Charles for all the advice she's given me this week on my relationship with Kermie.
03:12Wonderful.
03:14Oh, Piggy, what are antemeridium and postmeridium better known as?
03:23Before and after liposuction.
03:26I know this, I know this, it's before noon and afternoon. Believe me, anything to do with lunchtime, I know about.
03:35Alright.
03:36I agree.
03:37Yeah, A.M. P.M., yes, that's right, X gets the square.
03:41Alright, that's not a win for $1,000, very nice.
03:46I'll keep up.
03:49It's time to play our secret square game. The game is also worth $1,000.
03:53And Henry, do tell, what's in the secret square stash today?
03:56Blast the Bob Marley, because you'll be jamming to Jamaica.
04:02You and a guest will fly Air Jamaica's non-stop Champagne Flights, the world's best airline to the Caribbean.
04:09To spend six nights at the Half Moon Golf, Tennis and Beach Club on Montego Bay.
04:15Enjoy golf, tennis, spa, water sports activities, plus fantastic dining.
04:21A vacation worth $5,432.
04:26Alright, let's show all of you at home who the secret square is.
04:31Now you know. Tom, you won the first game, so you start.
04:34Pamela Anderson.
04:35Alright, Pamela.
04:39Pamela, does the all-knowing Dr. Joyce Brothers say a mom will have a shorter or longer labor if dad is in the delivery room?
04:48Much shorter.
04:49Alright.
04:50You have to get it over with.
04:51Much shorter.
04:52I don't have to see that.
04:53I disagree.
04:54You disagree? Much longer, according to...
04:55Longer.
04:56Yeah, longer. That's what she says.
04:58X gets the square.
05:00Jay?
05:01I'll go with the Hilton sisters.
05:03The Hilton sisters.
05:05She's created her own lot of handbags called Samantha Tavassa New York in stores now.
05:10Alright, you two TV guides says that in Sex and the City, Carrie's closet has 100 of these in it. 100 what?
05:18Boyfriends?
05:21She loves Manila Bonics and she loves...
05:24She loves Fendi bags, too, though.
05:26Yeah.
05:27So...
05:28She talks about her shoes more, though.
05:29Yeah, shoes.
05:30Shoes.
05:31I will agree.
05:32Yeah, pairs of shoes. That's right. Circle.
05:34That's that one. Tom?
05:36Lonnie Anderson.
05:37Lonnie Anderson. Alright. Lonnie's the host of Modern Cuisine with Lonnie Anderson on the TV Food Network and PAX.
05:44Lonnie, you're out on the corner hitchhiking.
05:46Oh, that sounds like me.
05:48Yeah, that's right.
05:49According to a poll by freeride.com, what color hair will most likely get you picked up?
05:57Well, how could we help but say blonde?
06:00I agree.
06:01Redheads.
06:02Oh, no!
06:03Followed by brunettes. Blondes came last, oddly.
06:06So, Circle gets that one. We get a break. We'll be right back with more of our Secret Square game right after this.
06:18It was a very fun show. I was right next to Charo.
06:20She's so boring.
06:21Which one is bigger?
06:25I wish she had a little bit of energy.
06:27I thought that was my pants.
06:30And that body. Her body. You see her legs?
06:36I'm going to just objectify Charo for the next half hour.
06:42Promotional consideration furnished by the following.
06:46All right, we are back. Welcome back to the show.
06:48We're going to get back to our Secret Square game in a moment.
06:50After our contestants say hi to you, Tom Voss, tell us about yourself.
06:54I'm from Denmark. I work as a fitness model for one of the biggest companies in the fitness industry.
06:59I'm also a German junior bodybuilding champion.
07:02And, um...
07:04And I happen to be a pretty good baker, so if you ladies like Danish...
07:13I see where he's coming from.
07:14Okay. All right, Jay Jablonski, tell us about yourself.
07:18I'm from Basking Ridge, New Jersey.
07:20I'm an assistant to the senior vice-president of the American Association of Bodybuilders.
07:24And I work as a fitness model for one of the biggest companies in the fitness industry.
07:28I'm also a German junior bodybuilding champion.
07:31I'm from Basking Ridge, New Jersey.
07:32I'm an assistant to the senior vice-president of a production finance company.
07:36I'm the recipient of the United States Marine Corps Superior Physical Fitness Award.
07:40And I'm affiliated with the Big Brother program.
07:43And ladies, I hope you think I'll be a good big brother.
07:50All right, Jay, your turn, I think.
07:52All right, I will take Phyllis Diller.
07:54Phyllis Diller.
07:56CDs of her stand-up acts are available on laugh.com.
08:00Phyllis, what does a guide to simple home repair say you should do
08:04if you've got a wooden bed that squeaks when you make love?
08:08God, I hope it's not my hip.
08:15Well, I would use wood glue.
08:18Wood glue.
08:19I will disagree.
08:21Sprinkle talcum powder on the joints, then use a toothbrush to really jam it in.
08:24That should help.
08:26Circle gets that one.
08:28There you go. What things have you learned? Tom?
08:31Take Mimi for the block.
08:33Mimi for the block.
08:35All right, Mimi.
08:38Mimi, Suicide is Painless was the theme song for what?
08:45The Jack of Orchid and Happy Funtime Hour.
08:52I'm going to say MASH.
08:54MASH.
08:55I agree.
08:56Yeah, yeah, that's right. X gets the block.
08:59All right, Jay.
09:00All right, I will take Miss Piggy for the win.
09:02Miss Piggy to tie it up here.
09:04All right, Miss Piggy.
09:07Miss Piggy, if you're looking for a gift for your sweetheart, stay away from this.
09:12A national survey found it's the gift that's most often returned.
09:17What is it?
09:18The combination tool and garter belt.
09:23Kermit got me one of those for Christmas one year.
09:25The same year I gave him a lump on the head.
09:31Clothing, any kind of clothing.
09:34Any kind of clothing.
09:35I will agree.
09:36You have a tie game here.
09:37Yes, clothing it is. Circle gets it.
09:40Florence was our secret square today.
09:42Florence Anderson, our tiebreaker game is worth $2,000.
09:46Jay, you kick it off.
09:47All right, I will start with Pamela Anderson.
09:49All right, Pamela.
09:50There we go.
09:54Pamela, why was bubble gum originally pink?
09:59So it wouldn't be noticed in your mouth as easily.
10:02I will agree.
10:03No, it was the only color the inventor had at that point.
10:07X gets that one.
10:08We get a break.
10:09Yes.
10:10And our tiebreaker game continues right after this.
10:13Only color we had.
10:19I am so thrilled that you're wearing leather.
10:23I want to say I am so excited that I got to meet this woman.
10:28She is my favorite blonde of all time.
10:32Do you know what I mean?
10:33Are you adorable?
10:39Promotional consideration furnished by the following.
10:50Welcome back to the show.
10:52By the way, hasn't Pamela been doing a great job at Center Square this week?
10:56She really has.
10:57Absolutely.
10:58And next week on the show, our buddy Ted Danson comes back in the center seat from Becker.
11:04He'll be here.
11:05All right, back to our tiebreaker game now.
11:08Tom, your turn.
11:09Phyllis Diller.
11:10Phyllis Diller.
11:11All right, Phyllis.
11:16Who's rocky celebrity marriage was the shortest marriage of the following?
11:20Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett, Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley,
11:24or Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman?
11:27I've had milk that lasted longer than all those relationships.
11:32Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman.
11:34All right.
11:35I agree.
11:36Yeah, that's right.
11:37Only married five months.
11:38X gets that one.
11:40All right, Jay.
11:41All right, I will take Nicole Sullivan for the block.
11:43For the block.
11:44Nicole, according to Self Magazine, where do 85% of snoring couples sleep?
11:53The front row of a Paul Anka concert.
11:55Ouch.
11:56No, I don't know.
11:58On their backs.
12:01I would disagree.
12:02In separate bedrooms.
12:03Circle gets a block there.
12:06Tom.
12:07The Hilton Sisters.
12:08The Hilton Sisters.
12:09All right.
12:12All right.
12:13If a male swallow is called a cock, what's a female call?
12:19A...
12:21Hmm.
12:23I'm not going to say the other word.
12:27A hen.
12:29I disagree.
12:30A hen.
12:31Yeah, that's right.
12:32Circle gets that one.
12:33Jay.
12:35I will take Mimi.
12:36Mimi.
12:37All right, Mimi.
12:41Of these animals, Mimi, which one sports the largest male organ?
12:47The chimpanzee, the orangutan, or the gorilla?
12:52Well, having never dated outside of my species...
12:59I'm going to say...
13:02You like that answer.
13:05You know, Phyllis plays my grandmother on the Drew Carey show.
13:08Oh, really?
13:09Oh, yeah.
13:10And I know better.
13:11An apple does not fall far from the tree.
13:13Absolutely.
13:14That's right.
13:15I'm going to say gorilla.
13:16Gorilla.
13:17I will disagree.
13:18Gorilla is at 1.4 inches, but not bragging.
13:21The chimp is at 3 inches.
13:23It's the chimpanzee.
13:24Circle gets the square there.
13:28Tom.
13:30Florence Henderson for the block.
13:31For the block.
13:32All right.
13:33Florence is singing at the Indy 500 race for the 14th consecutive year, Sunday, May 25th.
13:38Florence, you're playing golf, and your shot lands in the mouth of a lion.
13:42Are you allowed to move the ball without a penalty?
13:46I think the lion might remove a ball for you.
13:51What?
13:52What?
13:53What?
13:54Oh, I would say no.
13:56That's pretty far-fetched.
13:58I agree.
13:59No, you can, actually.
14:00A ball can be dropped at the nearest spot away from the offending lion.
14:04Can't give you that one, Jay.
14:05You have to earn it yourself.
14:06All right.
14:07Florence Henderson for the win.
14:08For the win and $2,000.
14:12If you're going to dye your hair, which color does Fitness magazine say is the easiest to maintain?
14:19Well, I noticed that a lot of women who started out as brunettes, as they get older, they become blondes.
14:25So, I'm going to say...
14:28I'm going to say a blonde.
14:30I disagree.
14:31No, it is blonde.
14:32So, X gets a blonde there.
14:34Tom, over to you.
14:36Lonnie Anderson for the win.
14:37Lonnie Anderson for the win and $2,000.
14:43All right.
14:44Lonnie, that means we're out of time.
14:46So, if you get this one, obviously, you've won the game with three across.
14:49But if you miss this one, you will become the champion, Jay.
14:54So, that's how this works.
14:55In the song, Old Man River, why is your body all aching and racked with pain?
15:03From working too hard.
15:06I agree.
15:07Yeah.
15:08From working too hard.
15:09X gets the square and the win for $2,000.
15:15All right, Jay, we're going to give you $1,000 in our thanks for being here on Hollywood Spears.
15:19All right. Thank you.
15:20Nice to meet you.
15:21But, Tom, you got three grand.
15:22You're our champion.
15:23Congratulations.
15:24Thank you very much.
15:25Ready to play the bonus round?
15:26Ready.
15:27All right.
15:28We'll give you a couple of minutes to get ready for that.
15:29Will he win the Jeep?
15:30We'll find out.
15:31All right.
15:32Bonus round coming up after this.
15:33Welcome back to M, Tom.
15:34Our champion has $3,000 in the front game.
15:35Take a look over here.
15:36All right.
15:37So, Tom, you got three grand.
15:38You're our champion.
15:39Congratulations.
15:40Thank you.
15:41All right.
15:42We'll give you a couple of minutes to get ready for that bonus round?
15:43Ready.
15:44All right.
15:45We'll give you a couple of minutes to get ready for that bonus round?
15:46Ready.
15:47All right.
15:48So, Tom, you got three grand.
15:49You're our champion.
15:50Congratulations.
15:51Thank you.
15:52All right.
15:53We'll give you a couple of minutes to get ready for that bonus round?
15:54Ready.
15:55All right.
15:56So, Tom, you got three grand.
15:57You're our champion.
15:58Congratulations.
15:59Thank you.
16:01All right.
16:02We'll give you a couple of minutes to get ready for that bonus round?
16:03Ready.
16:04All right.
16:05So, Tom, you got three grand.
16:06You're our champion.
16:07Congratulations.
16:08Thank you.
16:09All right.
16:10We'll give you a couple of minutes to get ready for that bonus round?
16:11Ready.
16:12All right.
16:13So, Tom, you got three grand.
16:14You're our champion.
16:15Congratulations.
16:16Thank you.
16:17All right.
16:18We'll give you a couple of minutes to get ready for that bonus round?
16:19Ready.
16:20All right.
16:21So, Tom, you got three grand.
16:22You're our champion.
16:23Congratulations.
16:24Thank you.
16:25All right.
16:26We'll give you a couple of minutes to get ready for that bonus round?
16:27Ready.
16:28All right.
16:29So, Tom, you got three grand.
16:30You're our champion.
16:31Congratulations.
16:32Thank you.
16:33All right.
16:34So, Tom, you got three grand.
16:35You're our champion.
16:36Congratulations.
16:37Thank you.
16:38All right.
16:39So, Tom, you got three grand.
16:40You're our champion.
16:41Congratulations.
16:42Thank you.
16:43All right.
16:44So, Tom, you got three grand.
16:45You're our champion.
16:46Congratulations.
16:47Thank you.
16:48All right.
16:49So, Tom, you got three grand.
16:50You're our champion.
16:51Congratulations.
16:52Thank you.
16:53All right.
16:54So, Tom, you got three grand.
16:55You're our champion.
16:56Congratulations.
16:57Thank you.
16:58All right.
16:59So, Tom, you got three grand.
17:00You're our champion.
17:01Congratulations.
17:02Thank you.
17:03All right.
17:04Next.
17:05Florence.
17:06Is the youngest of ten children.
17:07I disagree.
17:08Wrong.
17:09Next.
17:10Pamela.
17:11Has a suntan lotion called Coconuts.
17:12I agree.
17:13Wrong.
17:14Next.
17:15Lonnie.
17:16Lonnie's first big break was in a TV commercial for deodorant.
17:17I agree.
17:18Right.
17:19Next.
17:20Mimi.
17:21Went two weeks without makeup because of an allergic reaction.
17:22I disagree.
17:23Wrong.
17:24Next.
17:25The Hilton system.
17:26Has an original Van Gogh painting above her bed.
17:27Nikki does.
17:28I agree.
17:29Wrong.
17:30Next.
17:31Tom.
17:32Now, Tom, because you're only here one day,
17:33we're gonna take away one key right at the start.
17:37And you got three right in 30 seconds,
17:39so we'll take away three more.
17:42All right.
17:43One of those remaining keys will do it.
17:48Good luck.
17:49Dead center.
17:52And a look of determination on his face as he grabbed the key.
17:58He got it!
18:05All right!
18:07Congratulations!
18:11Come on out here.
18:13Come on out here, Tom.
18:20Hey, congratulations.
18:23With the cash and the car and all that,
18:27you got $23,600, and he's walking home.
18:31Figure it out.
18:34Come on over here.
18:36Good for you.
18:37Congratulations, Tom.
18:38Good to have you with us.
18:39I want to say thank you to Pamela Anderson,
18:41all our great stars.
18:43I want to remind you our center square next week,
18:47the lovely and talented Ted Danson.
18:49Be with us for that.
18:50I'm Tom Bergeron,
18:51hoping you join us as well for Hollywood Squares.
18:54Take care, everybody.
18:55Good for you.
18:59I'm Henry Winkler saying so long.
19:01Promotional consideration furnished by the following.
19:07I don't believe this is unreal, man.
19:09Thank you, guys.
19:13Thank you.
19:17Thank you so much.
19:19I love you, America.
19:20I love it.
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