How to overcome rejections and failures? || Acharya Prashant, with Delhi University (2023)

Acharya Prashant

‍♂️ Want to meet Acharya Prashant? Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...  ⚡ Want Acharya Prashant’s regular updates? Join WhatsApp Channel: https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029Va6Z...   Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books? Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...   Want to accelerate Acharya Prashant’s work? Contribute: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/contri...   Want to work with Acharya Prashant? Apply to the Foundation here: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/hiring...  ~~~~~  Video Information: 17.03.23, Delhi University (Online), Greater Noida  Context: How to overcome fear of failure? How to understand the fear and how to get rid of it? ~ How to overcome fear of failure? ~ How to understand the fear and how to get rid of it? ~ What are victory and defeat? ~ How to know real success? ~ How to face challenges in life? ~ How to be fearless? ~ Why do we fear failure? ~ How to overcome fear?  Music Credits: Milind Date  ~~~~~

Transcript

00:00Please guide us on like how to overcome rejections or failures at a young age because when that

00:08happens to youngsters, they try to you know do things which are not good for them.

00:14It can include a lot of things like suicide, they get into depression, anxiety and stress

00:19like what is the like what they should do in that case because they are being rejected

00:23and fail again and again.

00:26See, what is it that you love playing?

00:40Any sports you are interested in?

00:41I love cricket.

00:42You love cricket.

00:43Tell me of something that you are just not interested in.

00:46I am not interested in basketball.

00:49And somebody just pushes you hard to become the top basketball player in the country and

01:06you prepare and train for six months just because you have been pushed to do all that,

01:16right?

01:19And then you go for the trials and selections and you are rejected there.

01:28Should you be depressed or should you celebrate?

01:39So in that case, I'll just try again.

01:42You will try again for something you have no heart in?

01:46I will try something that my heart goes into in the first place.

01:50So how do you deal with that rejection?

01:52You got into, you went to basketball trials.

01:57And you went to basketball trials just because let's say your family told you that it is

02:03a tradition in our family.

02:06We all have been basketball players.

02:09That's your grandpa.

02:11Look at the huge thing in his hand.

02:13That's supposed to be basketball.

02:16And that's your granny.

02:20She too was a basketball player, the top one in her village.

02:29So it's a tradition.

02:30You have to do it.

02:32So you go for it and you try for six months and then you get rejected.

02:39Apply your wits.

02:40Is it a matter of mourning or celebration?

02:52That's how you deal with rejections.

02:55You anyway never wanted those things.

03:03So many people write the UPSC.

03:05The fact is, they actually never wanted to clear it in the first place.

03:23When I was writing one of these exams, I do not remember which one, one of the All

03:29India exams, probably UPSC, UPSC Civil Services, I think my father, he said, right, the number

03:38of candidates that are appearing appears to be in several lakhs.

03:45But it's not against several lakhs you are competing.

03:50The number of seats that particular year had been drastically reduced to 200 or 300

03:58seats.

03:59That's all.

04:00The number of applicants was what, 5, 8, 10 lakhs, something.

04:06But then you are not competing with those many.

04:10For these 200 seats, you are competing with at most 2 to 4,000 students, applicants.

04:20Because the others are anyway appearing for namesake.

04:27They have filled up the form because their fathers wanted them to or because they had

04:33nothing else, nothing better to do in life.

04:38And everybody was all the time poking them, what are you doing, what are you busy with?

04:47So they filled up the form and now they can respectfully say, you know, I am a UPSC aspirant.

04:58If these people get rejected, why must they be depressed?

05:04You anyway never wanted it.

05:10It appears amusingly stupid to not to want something and then get depressed upon not

05:23getting it.

05:27Think of the situation.

05:29There is something that you never heartfully wanted.

05:34Had you heartfully wanted it, there is a great probability you would have obtained it.

05:42The fact is you were pushed into it or you just drifted into it.

05:48Knowing nothing else to do, you just drifted into it.

05:53Some unconscious type of desire pushed you towards a particular target or object.

06:06Your heart was never into it, your consciousness, your discretion was never into it.

06:13And that's the primary reason you don't get it.

06:16Obviously, there can be other reasons also.

06:21But the primary reason generally is that you never put your whole energy, your entire

06:28self into it because that was not something that you loved from your core.

06:43The kind of energy that is needed to uplift life can arise only from a loving core.

06:53In some sense, it is only love that can never be defeated or is very, very hard to defeat.

07:01That which you call as normal desire is so easy to defeat.

07:07You are desirous of one thing, the salesman displays something more attractive to you.

07:14What do you do?

07:16Your desire immediately flips or does it not?

07:22The same thing does not apply to love.

07:27Because love involves consciousness.

07:32You have chosen something after due discretion.

07:40You are going for something because you know that the thing is indispensable.

07:50It's not just random whim, fad, fetish.

07:57It's a thing of the heart.

07:59I know myself, I know what I need and I have to go after it.

08:05Now, who can stop me?

08:13Only your rejections are worth celebrating.

08:33Those were needless burdens, responsibilities put upon you by authoritarian and deceptive

08:48forces.

08:57Saint poet Kabir Das, there's a beautiful one from him.

09:12He's not getting depressed, he's celebrating.

09:16And if somebody else had put this pot on my head and entrusted me with the responsibility

09:25to daily fetch water from some far away well or tank or something.

09:33And my success was to be measured against my quickness in fetching the water and the

09:43fullness of the pot.

09:46That was supposed to be a determinant of how successful my life is, right?

09:52If I can quickly rush and fetch a lot of water and make multiple trips to that well,

09:57get a lot of water and do that quite rapidly, then I would be declared successful.

10:04But even if the world declares me successful because of all this pot business, does that

10:10fulfill my core?

10:12Does it?

10:14Does it?

10:16So one day that pot falls and breaks.

10:23And the poet sings, bhala hua, muri matki phuti.

10:28Great that I have now been defeated, ab hume paniya bharan se chhuti.

10:34This was an external imposition.

10:37This is not something I was doing out of love.

10:42An artificial duty had been imposed on me.

10:46You have to be successful this way.

10:48Great that now I have met defeat.

10:51Kindly relieve me, declare me a failure, tattoo it on my forehead and let me go.

11:02I am okay.

11:03Call me a defeat, call me a failure, call me a reject, call me whatever you want to,

11:14but spare me.

11:15Let me live freely.

11:23On the other hand, if your target is arising from your core, then it is the love for the

11:31target that keeps you going all your life.

11:37There can be no rejection because there is always a continuous attempt.

11:43So how can you be depressed?

11:48You want something so wholeheartedly that you will never stop trying for it, not tell

11:53me where is the rejection, tell me where is the final failure.

12:01And that's probably the only way to live, especially as a young person, to be in love.

12:10To do something only because it deserves to be done.

12:16And it's so lovely, so compelling, so beautiful that it becomes irresistible.

12:22You cannot not do it.

12:26You cannot not love it.

12:28Now tell me where is failure?

12:34So the problem does not lie in defeat or failure or rejection.

12:40The problem lies in the choice of the goal.

12:43Are you getting it?

12:46The question has to be where are your goals coming from?

12:52How did something become your goal?

12:55How have you started wanting something?

12:58How exactly does that happen?

13:02And the quality of your choice depends on the quality of your being, the quality of

13:08the chooser within.

13:10If you are inwardly asleep, then all your choices will arise from very nebulous, very

13:21vague kind of criteria.

13:24They would not be choices in the real sense of the word.

13:33They would be like the toss of a dice, a three could show up, one could show up, six

13:40could show up.

13:41Have you chosen?

13:42It's a blind toss.

13:44Anything can show up.

13:47You have not chosen something.

13:49Randomly stuff is happening with you.

13:54And in biological life, there is only randomness, just randomness.

14:04In conscious life, there is conscious choice arising from a single criteria.

14:14And that criteria is freedom.

14:20Randomness has no criteria.

14:21If there is some criteria, it can no more be called randomness.

14:27In internal life, there has to be a single criteria, a single criteria against which

14:33you determine your choices.

14:35What is that criteria?

14:37Freedom, betterment, liberation, growth.

14:41Is this making me better?

14:44Is this widening, deepening my consciousness?

14:48Am I learning something from this?

14:53Am I becoming more fearless out of this?

14:57That's what should determine the choice.

15:02And when your choices come from there, then you can take defeats in your stride.

15:09Then you say, fine, it's a lifelong journey.

15:16It's something I have to continuously do.

15:19It's such a humongous project, it can never get over.

15:22Will you ever say that your love for something has exhausted?

15:29You don't want to say that, right?

15:30So the project has to be an eternal one.

15:37Now, what is rejection?

15:44What is failure?

15:46And it's such an interesting thing, you see, when you make small targets, then you face

15:57failures.

16:00And when you make huge targets, then there can be no failure.

16:04When you make unconscious targets, then there can be failure.

16:11But when you make conscious targets in love, then there can be no failure.

16:21So all failure thing is actually symptomatic of inner sleep.

16:43Is this too fast or too abstract or just too much?

16:55How did you land here?

16:58You have read me, you have heard me.

17:02I've seen a lot of your videos on YouTube and Instagram.

17:08And the others?

17:15Shorts?

17:16They are no good.

17:20Shorts are meant to bring you to the longs.

17:23See, I'm not here to make a statement to the walls.

17:47It's the human being I am interested in, not ideology, not theory, not empty lecturing.

17:56I relate to human beings.

17:59So here I am speaking to you.

18:03All this is for you.

18:07The purpose of this is not the enunciation of some kind of philosophy.

18:13The purpose is that you have come here, invested your time, energy.

18:21You should be better off when this whole thing closes.

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