Cartoon Planet Cartoon Planet E008 It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World

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00:00So I say to him, hey, I don't think the joke is funny, but I'll do it. You know why? Because I'm a professional.

00:08Know what he tells me?

00:09Know what?

00:10He says, I don't know funny.

00:12Five seconds.

00:13Hey, you're funny. Funny looking.

00:17Hey.

00:30Hey, Space Ghost, you don't look so hot.

00:42I don't feel so hot.

00:44I ate one of those whole hog hoagies for lunch.

00:48It's laying on my stomach like a concrete block.

00:52Why don't you try sitting on the potty for a while?

00:56You're just like my mom. She believes all of life's problems can be solved by sitting on the potty.

01:02Mom always says the world would be a better place if the leaders of all the great nations would spend a little more time sitting on the potty.

01:10Hey, are we going to get in trouble with the censors for all this potty talk?

01:15Be you rich or poor, fat or skinny, just plain folks or Mr. Hoity Toity.

01:22Like it or not, every now and then, you have to visit old Johnny Boy.

01:29Not me.

01:31I've been meaning to talk to you about that.

01:33Well, have you tried sitting on the you-know-what?

01:36The you-know-what is out of order again?

01:40Uh-oh.

01:41Tell me about it.

01:42Why don't you try exercising, get up and run around for a while?

01:46I can't. This blasted hoagie has immobilized me.

01:50Immobilized.

01:54Okay, then try this. Try thinking of a peaceful, wonderful place.

02:00Like Las Vegas.

02:02Las Vegas?

02:03Yeah, try it.

02:04All right, here goes.

02:12Oh, that didn't help. All I can think about is that stupid sandwich.

02:15It's just laying down there, laughing at me.

02:21You look like a tick about to pop.

02:23Okay, okay, I got it. Do this.

02:25Stick your head in a bucket of water and inhale deeply nine times.

02:30How's that going to help my tummy ache?

02:32It won't. But it'll be funny, don't you think?

02:35There's only one thing to do, Zorlack. Pull my finger.

02:39What do I look, stupid?

02:41That's my line. It was in the script.

02:44It was a bad script. I hate it. It didn't agree with me.

02:49Oops.

02:50What was that?

02:54Run for your lives, everybody! She's gonna blow!

02:58Hey! Buongiorno, everybody!

03:01This is Bracken. It's time for learning to talk Italian.

03:06Lesson two.

03:08Che qual cosi a che non va agente?

03:12Is there a problem, officer?

03:15Cosa quel autore?

03:17What is that smell?

03:19It's the smell of a dead rat.

03:22A dead rat?

03:25Cosa quel autore?

03:27What is that smell?

03:29Che qual cosi a nel bugno.

03:32Something is living in my bathroom.

03:35Paravia chesa di aglio.

03:38Buzz off, garlic breath.

03:40Che un autore in casa.

03:43Is there a doctor in the house?

03:46Oh, i cervelli del pollo.

03:48I have the brain of a chicken.

03:50Giusto. Correct.

03:52Arrivederci.

03:54Leave me alone.

03:58Silencio. Shut up!

04:00Arrivederci. That's Italian for buh-bye.

04:07And now, here's a nugget of joy from Zorak.

04:11When I was an apprentice evil villain,

04:14I studied with the wise and terrible Gandalf the Mad Grinder.

04:19He taught me all the basics.

04:21Starting up from behind, the use of diversionary tactics,

04:25pleading to a lesser offense.

04:27I'll never forget.

04:29One day, Gandalf said grasshopper.

04:32He kept calling me grasshopper. I never knew why.

04:35But anyways, he said grasshopper,

04:38if it looks like a duck and smells like a duck,

04:41it must be a chicken.

04:43I didn't know what in blazes he was talking about,

04:46so I asked him to explain.

04:48Think of it this way, he said.

04:50It is a wise mantis that always leaves the house in clean underwear

04:55in case he gets run over by a hydro tanker.

04:59It was then that I knew that Gandalf had lost his mind,

05:03so I bid him farewell and left to pursue my criminal career.

05:07A career that, given my present circumstances, has hit rock bottom.

05:12I guess you could say that Gandalf the Mad Grinder

05:16made me what I am today.

05:19A three-time loser.

05:21Exactly.

05:23Never learned how to use the force, eh?

05:26I just couldn't get the hang of it.

05:32Far out in the great expanse of the Pacific Ocean

05:35lies the romantic city of Honolulu,

05:37capital and chief seaport of the Hawaiian Islands.

05:40Malakalikimaka, everybody.

05:43My name is Brack, and in Hawaiian, that means fish food.

05:48Here is a song about my recent trip to Hawaii.

05:51I hope you love it.

05:53I stepped off the aeroplane and a lady came and kissed my cheek.

05:57She put flowers around my neck and said,

05:59I'm Leilani Smith.

06:01Then she took me to my limo,

06:03that's a great big Cadillac.

06:05And she told me, welcome to Hawaii.

06:08And then she danced.

06:09Her grass skirt was swishing around.

06:11I said, how do you do that?

06:13She said, stand and shake it all around.

06:17And so I did.

06:19But I didn't have a skirt.

06:21I just had my pants.

06:23So I didn't look as good.

06:25Then I got back on the aeroplane.

06:27I was sad to leave Hawaii.

06:29But I got some pictures and a tiki souvenir.

06:33Aloha!

06:40One time at school they asked me to be the mascot for the football team

06:44so they wouldn't have to buy a costume.

06:46So I went to the game and I ran out on the field.

06:48I was running around and all the players on both teams

06:51started chasing me around and said,

06:54let's get him!

06:56So I ran as fast as my little legs could carry me

06:58and the football players chased me out of the gate and all the way home.

07:01And I didn't think I ever did get to finish the game.

07:05I had this one chair though.

07:07It's so cute.

07:09Train, train, choo-choo train.

07:11Our team's gonna win this game.

07:14Oh, oh, woo-woo!

07:16Yeah!

07:17Train, train, choo-choo train.

07:19Our team's gonna win this game.

07:21Woo-woo!

07:22Oh, yeah, woo-woo!

07:24The end!

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