00:00They say that when it comes to parenting, there's no such thing as too late or too early.
00:14On this episode of Pawprika, we're going to talk to a mom who proves that it is not about
00:20the age, but all about the love.
00:23I'm here with an amazing mom who has transitioned from being a beauty queen to an island goddess.
00:31Everybody, please welcome the gorgeous, ever-ever-gorgeous, Miriam Cabau-Roberto.
00:38Thank you so much, Rika.
00:40What can I say?
00:41What a glorious introduction!
00:44A little admiration clap for Ms. Rika, too.
00:47Thank you so much.
00:48Honestly, I feel like, because Miriam and I are both in our 40s, and I don't know,
00:54I feel more beautiful in my 40s than when I was in my 20s.
01:00Is this true?
01:01Yes, it's true.
01:02That's how I feel now.
01:03I mean, I feel more at home with myself.
01:06I feel I look better compared to how I looked back when I was a beauty queen.
01:10How are you in your island life?
01:13I super love my island life.
01:16We just love it here because there's no pressure of the city life.
01:20There's no experience of traffic, hours in traffic, especially during the holiday season.
01:26I get what you mean.
01:29This must be a dream life then for you.
01:31Is it?
01:32Yes.
01:33In my 20s, it's always been my dream to live in a house on a hill on an island which I own.
01:39Own?
01:41Why not?
01:42And is this why you're not?
01:44Because, of course, everything went back to normal.
01:47You didn't go back to Manila, right?
01:50But I think you have plans of going back, do you?
01:53Well, we had to go back because our eldest, Joshua, really didn't like his life on the island.
02:00Oh!
02:01So, we sent him to school here in our first year.
02:04So, he said he can stay in Manila.
02:06So, we enrolled him again in Manila.
02:09Now, we have to go back and establish a new place in Manila.
02:12Same village, same apartment.
02:14Last March 24, 2024, Miriam and Ardy Roberto renewed their vows as they celebrated their
02:2110th wedding anniversary.
02:23They have three lovable boys, Joshua and their miracle babies, Elijah and Ezekiel.
02:32Miriam shares both the joys and the challenges of motherhood.
02:37Well, at my age, because I had children in my 40s, late stage, right?
02:43I don't have a comparison to when I was young, when I was pregnant.
02:47But I can imagine, I probably would have had more energy when I had children at a much
02:54younger age compared to now.
02:56But still, I'm blessed because I have two miracle pregnancies, right?
03:03And having children is always a joy.
03:06But you know, it's like, I don't know if I can do this.
03:13I don't know if I can do this.
03:14Maybe I need to work out so that I can carry them.
03:19And Ardy and I agreed that by the time our kids are adults, or probably by the time they
03:25graduate from college, Ezekiel is two years old and he graduates, let's say, 18 years
03:32from now, I'll be 48, plus 20, I'll be 68 by the time he graduates.
03:38So I don't know if I'll be able to carry him.
03:41Will I be able to carry my grandchildren?
03:43Oh my gosh!
03:44We have the same concerns!
03:47That's also what I'm feeling.
03:49That's why I wanted to ask if there were things that you were thinking about, specifically
03:54as a mom in your 40s.
03:56That's very different when moms who are having their near 40s or even 30s, right?
04:06Because that's the computation!
04:09Sorry!
04:10Although there's also an advantage.
04:12Yes, I was going to ask you that.
04:13Because now that I'm at my 40s, I'm also more financially established than when I was in
04:19my 20s.
04:20Back in my 20s, I worked, I worked, and I didn't show my family, right?
04:25And if I had children then, I wouldn't have the time to invest in them as much as I do
04:30now.
04:31And now that I'm in my 40s, I've invested, I have passive income, so now we have all
04:37the time we want to spend with our kids.
04:40Right.
04:41You know, that's why I wanted to ask you that.
04:43Because it's the same realization for me.
04:45I feel like I worked so much in my younger years, now it can afford me a life of just
04:52being with my kids.
04:54I don't have to be away from them anymore.
04:56For instance, I was talking to a mom recently who said that she's very, very successful
05:01now.
05:02But she said that now that she has the time, her kids no longer really want to be around
05:07her so much because they're like 16, 17.
05:10They still want, but it's not like when they were toddlers, right?
05:13So I think that's what we have.
05:15And that's what I always tell other parents also that they're just starting out.
05:20There are pros and cons.
05:22I'm glad that you said that.
05:24But how is it now?
05:26For me, ever since I, it's really all based on my faith in Christianity and I know that
05:33family is my first ministry.
05:35And no one in his life ever said on his deathbed that I wish I spent more time at work.
05:41Yeah.
05:42With my family.
05:44So I said, I really need to invest time to be with my family so that I can have influence
05:52with them or on them for a much longer time.
05:57And with homeschooling, that's the benefit, right?
06:00Because we get to spend almost every day with them.
06:03We only have such a short window of time that we can influence our kids.
06:07Right.
06:08And the time that they want to be with us, right?
06:11Short window of time that we invest.
06:13And if I were younger to be busy with work, I don't have that privilege to mold them
06:18in the way that I want them.
06:20Although, I don't want to judge those families or those mothers who decide to work full time
06:27alongside with raising their kids.
06:30I know they have their own way.
06:31But for me, this is, I think, this is what's important to me, to invest time with them
06:36even in the young age, growing up.
06:39When I was four years old, this was a core memory for me.
06:44My mom had a corporate lifestyle.
06:47She was driving and I was running after her because at four years old, of course, I wanted my mom.
06:53She turned the corner and I stopped.
06:56I wanted her but she didn't even stop to look at me.
07:01I wanted to cry but I was scared because there were a lot of people looking at me.
07:06I said, no, I'm not going to cry.
07:11So, it's like I made a conscious decision not to want my mom.
07:15And so, growing up, I wasn't close to my mom.
07:18Really?
07:19Yeah.
07:20Oh my gosh.
07:21Maybe we've had times together but it's not like I would confide in her or anything like that.
07:28We were able to restore our relationship.
07:30At that time, I was with my mom.
07:32My mom said, Lord, over here, over here, and over there.
07:37That's where we were able to restore our relationship.
07:39And by God's grace, I had five years to establish a close, loving relationship with my mom.
07:44Really?
07:45Before she passed away.
07:46That's such a gift.
07:48Yeah.
07:49So, because I had that experience, I said, when I grow up, I don't want to be forced
07:55to work just to keep a lifestyle.
07:58I want, when I grow up and I have a family, I want to have that option to choose to work
08:04or to be with my kids.
08:06That's why I look into learning about financial investment, having passive income,
08:12so that I can still contribute financially to the family and spend time with my kids.
08:17Yes.
08:18And you know, it's making me realize one thing.
08:20Because they always say that you must learn from your mistakes.
08:25You know, mistakes of others also happen to us.
08:28And sometimes they're very life-defying.
08:30Like the mistakes of our parents.
08:32I mean, it's a reality.
08:33It's not to dishonor them.
08:34The way that we also are offending our children, right?
08:38But I think what's great about your story is that your mom may or may not have been
08:44aware that, you know, she was doing this to you.
08:47But definitely, it created a, first, a negative impact in your life.
08:52But eventually, you used it to make, like, okay, let's break a cycle
08:58that is not good for families.
09:01And you turned it into something good.
09:03Which is, you know, for me, it's encouraging.
09:06It's inspiring because even though,
09:08for me, it's like we're stuck.
09:11This is the trauma of my childhood.
09:13And they did this to me.
09:14And we can't move on.
09:15But your story is showing me that, you know, no matter what happened in your past,
09:20there is a way to break that and to move forward with a better kind of life, right?
09:26So, thank you for sharing that.
09:28But mom, my mom wasn't a bad parent.
09:30It's just that she was a physical parent.
09:32Yes!
09:33And it's a reality.
09:34Some parents out there, it's embarrassing because there's really no choice.
09:38Because they're the only ones working, right?
09:41So, we don't judge them.
09:43We also know the reality.
09:45And we're actually grateful that we had the privilege to make it different.
09:50During desperate situations,
09:52when you know what's the most important thing you need to spend,
09:55you know that you will put this above everything else.
10:01Now, how do you balance that?
10:02It really comes in seasons.
10:04Before I had kids, I was focusing on speaking.
10:07But when I had kids and I had a tender pregnancy,
10:11I couldn't even work out.
10:13I couldn't even hold my child because it will stress me
10:16and probably affect the baby.
10:18So, there are seasons like that.
10:20But you know,
10:21everything can be done
10:23but not all at the same time.
10:26So, if you were to put it in a brief,
10:28what is your wisdom to share to parents about their season?
10:34Seasons come and go.
10:36But the season of your children
10:40is only short
10:42and it will never come again.
10:43So, you need to know your priorities.
10:45Meanwhile, if you really need to contribute
10:48to your family's income
10:50or properly exercise your gift,
10:52thanks for your wisdom.
10:54But last,
10:56what is the best lesson
10:59that you've learned
11:01in becoming a parent?
11:03Well, the first person who made me a parent
11:06was Joshua.
11:07Aww.
11:08He was 6 years old
11:10when I first became his parent.
11:12He was adopted by Ardy and his late wife.
11:15Back then,
11:16I didn't know how to love
11:18a grown boy
11:20who didn't come from my home.
11:22I knew that God put me in this family.
11:25So, I'm gonna learn.
11:26You love this boy
11:28more than anyone.
11:30And I don't know how to love him.
11:32Will you give me a heart
11:34to love him as you love him?
11:36Sometimes, we are so limited
11:37in our capacity to love.
11:39But only God has that
11:41unchanging,
11:45never-ending,
11:47all-encompassing kind of love
11:49that all parents,
11:51He's a perfect parent.
11:52All parents love Him.
11:53So, we need to tap into that source
11:56in order to be effective parents.
11:59We're not gonna be perfect.
12:01But when we love
12:03with the love of God,
12:04towards our children,
12:07we can be the best parent.
12:09Thank you so much for your wisdom.
12:11And I hope to have you again
12:13on Smart Parenting.
12:15And SPFAM, I hope you enjoyed that.
12:18And I hope you took down notes.
12:19And we'll see you again
12:20for the next episode of Fabrica.
12:23Bye, guys!
12:34You
Comments