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AmusantTranscription
00:00 [Musique]
00:21 Kevin was real irritable lately, because he'd been in the joint so long, he was feeling out of touch with life.
00:27 Kevin missed the intoxicating smell of a bag of solvents,
00:30 and the pretty banging noise that happened when he smashed parking meters with a tire iron.
00:35 Kevin was in a rut, and it was starting to show.
00:38 Frankly Kevin, I'm growing concerned.
00:40 I thought we'd been making progress, but lately you've been very withdrawn.
00:45 Can't you try to open up and let me help you?
00:48 Kevin tried opening up with a volley of stationary supplies.
00:53 I'm sorry Kevin, but until we make some kind of breakthrough,
00:57 your silent temper has made it necessary for me to send you to...
01:01 [Bruits de pas]
01:03 Kevin had heard rumors, and he was frightened.
01:06 Ward 5 hadn't always been a hospital.
01:08 For a long time, it had been a convent, and then a prison.
01:12 No one liked to talk about the mysteriously large platform with the hole in the middle that was in the courtyard,
01:17 or the phony wall in the basement, where the nuns used to hide their illegitimate children.
01:23 Ward 5 was the ward where they sent you if you were completely untreatable.
01:27 They took up the whole third floor.
01:30 Spencer, the word is they're sending your kid to Ward 5.
01:34 Ward 5?
01:35 A way to embarrass the family, you effing little bastard!
01:39 They're gonna make short work of him.
01:40 They're gonna kill you, boy!
01:43 The guards took Kevin onto an elevator and put tape around his hands.
01:47 That's so you don't hurt yourself!
01:51 Kevin hadn't been planning on hurting himself, and didn't think he could do much damage with his fingers anyway.
01:56 At least not as much damage as he could with his hands taped up like this.
02:00 Boy, this one's worse than this old man!
02:04 While he was unconscious, Kevin dreamed about his friend, Alan the Magic Goose.
02:10 You're losing your touch, idiot boy!
02:12 You weren't even watching your back!
02:14 Now Alan's got some stuff to do, so get back to your twisted version of reality!
02:20 When Kevin woke up, he didn't much like what he saw.
02:23 The place made the regular mental ward look like a field trip to the library.
02:27 There was a guy chewing through his own arm, another guy urinating on his own bed,
02:31 and there was even another guy trying to build an ark,
02:34 so he wouldn't die with all the other crazy people who were going to burn in hell.
02:43 Finally, Kevin found a quiet corner, where he could get as much of his head together as possible,
02:48 given his incomplete genetic makeup.
02:50 Kevin didn't much like the thought of spending the rest of his life in the Nuthouse
02:53 until he died a miserable and lonely death.
02:55 It was even more scary, because he'd heard that people in Ward 5 couldn't have visitors,
03:00 and that meant his mom wouldn't be able to smuggle him contraband cough syrup and smokes.
03:10 Kevin was walking home from his probation officers,
03:13 and decided to take a shortcut along the railway track.
03:16 As he came around the corner, he found something that looked familiar.
03:20 It was the shattered remains of Gus Jones, another kid in his class.
03:25 Gus had been run over by the 1 o'clock express.
03:28 Kevin felt kind of weird about this, because he'd just seen Gus earlier that day in math class.
03:35 If a train leaves the station at 8 a.m. at 100 miles per hour,
03:39 and the conductor eats a brand cereal at 7.30 a.m.,
03:43 what will the conductor's relative speed be if he is running 30 miles per hour
03:48 to the washroom at the back of the train?
03:51 Mrs. Kilbourne, my parents say learning math is satanic.
03:55 Very well then, on your way.
04:00 The last time anyone saw Gus, he was headed towards the railway tracks,
04:04 wearing his CD player and headset.
04:06 Hey, it's a recording of all my favorite train sounds. Woo-hoo!
04:13 There wasn't much left of Gus now, but by a stroke of luck,
04:23 the CD player was still in pawnable condition.
04:26 Kevin was always looking for something to take to the local pawn shop,
04:30 like the stop sign outside the retirement home,
04:32 and Uncle Mike's dialysis machine.
04:36 He figured the CD player ought to put him ahead a few hundred bucks.
04:43 Kevin waited, as Al haggled with another customer.
04:47 How can you call this a family pawn shop, with all these weapons and pornography?
04:52 Hey, the Mansons were a family, weren't they?
04:54 Listen, Father, either you're buying the inflatable cocktail waitress, or you're not.
04:58 I don't know. I was going to use this money to buy new fire extinguishers for the church,
05:03 but she's an awfully pretty girl. It's a deal.
05:10 So, like, I'd like to sell these war medals, 'kay?
05:14 Are they stolen?
05:15 No way, dude. I was like, totally a veteran of the Franco-Prussian War.
05:22 Then it was Kevin's turn, and he showed Al the CD player.
05:25 Is it stolen?
05:27 Kevin was pretty proud of himself,
05:29 because this was the first thing he'd ever pawned that wasn't stolen.
05:33 He told the man that he'd found it beside the horribly dismembered corpse of one of his classmates.
05:38 Cool. I'll give you 70 bucks.
05:41 Kevin figured he was being ripped off, but he wanted the money,
05:44 so he took the 70 bucks and went to the drugstore.
05:48 Kevin wasn't used to having that much scratch lying around,
05:51 so he decided to celebrate by buying a Texas Mickey of lemon gin,
05:55 two cartons of smokes, and a three-day bender.
05:58 Then he went to the zoo.
06:00 The zoo was closed, but that wasn't the kind of thing that got in Kevin's way.
06:04 At first he thought the smell would be a problem,
06:06 but the monkeys didn't seem too bothered by it.
06:10 A few days later, the police raided Al's pawn shop.
06:18 You are under arrest for knowingly selling stolen merchandise.
06:22 Damn you, 60 Minutes, and damn you, Mike Wallace!
06:25 When the police traced the serial number on the CD player,
06:28 they soon found out it belonged to Gus Jones, the boy who'd been reported missing.
06:33 I bought it from that little freak Kevin Spencer. You guys have his address?
06:38 When the cops arrived at Kevin's house, Percy was already in a bad mood,
06:43 because he'd run out of matches and got his head stuck in the toaster oven while trying to light a smoke.
06:47 So he aimed to deal with the uninvited guests right quick.
06:52 I was at the movies all night. I don't know nothing about no liquor store robbery.
06:57 We'll come back for that tomorrow night.
06:58 Now, we understand you might be involved in the disappearance of a missing boy.
07:03 Percy didn't know what they were talking about,
07:05 but since he'd had so many blackouts, he figured he'd better play it safe.
07:09 So he bounced a beer bottle off the cop's head and slammed the doorknob into his groin.
07:15 Kevin was walking off the tail end of his bender and thinking about all the things in his life that made him happy.
07:21 The way cold tiles feel against your face after passing out in the public washroom,
07:26 or the way his mom would drool nostalgically when she saw clowns giving away balloons at the gas station.
07:31 But the thing that made Kevin the happiest was coming home to find the police beating the old man on the lawn.
07:38 Use the mace on him. It's so cute the way it makes his face crinkle.
07:43 Hey, you stupid pigs! There's Kevin Spencer, the kid I bought the CD player from!
07:49 Kevin led the police to the boy's body, which had been picked clean by vultures and vermin.
07:54 After he told the police what happened, they notified the boy's parents.
08:02 Cheer up. The train killed your boy. That means I ain't gotta go back to jail.
08:07 It was a happy ending. And give me a lift back to town, will ya?
08:12 It was a full day for Kevin. So he and the old man headed off to catch last call at the strip club
08:17 and walked away in the dying light of a burned-down church.
08:23 Because Kevin was so violent, he'd been placed in Ward 5 of the mental hospital.
08:28 Kevin wasn't too happy about it. He wasn't afraid of the other patients.
08:32 But because they were all violent lunatics, he didn't feel special anymore.
08:37 Hey, kid, my name's Bull. I used to shoot heroin, but then I got in a car accident and I lost my arm.
08:43 So then I didn't have an arm anymore to inject heroin into, so I had to use my legs.
08:47 But then I got gangrene and I lost them too.
08:51 Kevin wasn't really in the mood to listen to some old junkie pissing and moaning about his problems.
08:55 But because his hands were taped, he couldn't even give 'em the finger.
08:59 I have a plan that'll get us outta here, but it's risky. You afraid of dying, kid?
09:05 It was Percy Spencer's favorite day. Government check day.
09:10 The old man's benefits had run out long ago, and even the welfare department refused to pay him anymore.
09:15 But just because the government stopped sending checks,
09:18 didn't mean Kevin and the old man couldn't lay their hands on a few.
09:21 Gimme the coat hanger, boy.
09:23 Kevin and his dad thought this was the best job in the world, because you got paid every few minutes.
09:28 Gum.
09:31 You try the next house.
09:33 The system wasn't perfect, and sometimes they'd sneak the wire into the house of someone who was still at home.
09:43 After a while, the wire would be cut off.
09:49 And the old man would have to go back to his old job.
09:52 But the wire was cut off again.
09:55 And the old man was never to be seen again.
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