Cheaper by the Dozen (1950) Full Movie | Clifton Webb, Jeanne Crain, Myrna Loy - video Dailymotion

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Synopsis: “Cheaper by the Dozen”, based on the real-life story of the Gilbreth family, follows them from Providence, Rhode Island, to Montclair, New Jersey, and details the amusing anecdotes found in large families. Genre: Drama, Comedy, Family Director: Walter Lang Top cast: Clifton Webb, Jeanne Crain, Myrna Loy, Betty Lynn, Edgar Buchanan, Barbara Bates, Mildred Natwick, Sara Allgood

Transcript

00:00:00 [Music]

00:00:15 [Music]

00:00:43 [Music]

00:01:11 [Music]

00:01:40 This is Providence, Providence, Rhode Island, where we lived in the year 1921.

00:01:46 I was 16 then and a sophomore in high school.

00:01:49 But enough about me, for this is not my story, but the story of our family.

00:01:54 And first and foremost, the story of my father and my mother.

00:01:59 Dad, Frank Bunker Gilbreth, was an industrial engineer and a leader in the field of scientific management.

00:02:06 If that sounds complicated, just say that he was an efficiency expert, a man who'd shown industry how to save time.

00:02:13 He was a man of definite character, and once his course was set, nothing was worth it.

00:02:18 [Tires screeching]

00:02:20 Road hog!

00:02:22 [Tires screeching]

00:02:29 Whenever he came home from a business trip, even if he'd been away only for a day,

00:02:34 he brought with him an element of surprise and suspense.

00:02:37 But there's no doubt about it, Dad was a rugged individualist.

00:02:41 Brilliant, but, well, let's face it, a trifle eccentric, living by a code of his own design.

00:02:47 [Music]

00:03:12 [Children shouting]

00:03:24 Hello, live bait.

00:03:26 Hello, Dad.

00:03:28 Glad to be home, Anne.

00:03:29 Hi, Dad, I was over on the lot.

00:03:31 So I see. 18 seconds. Not bad, not bad, but I still say we should make it in less.

00:03:36 We've got to keep trying.

00:03:38 Hello, Frank.

00:03:39 Hello, dear.

00:03:40 How was your trip?

00:03:41 I'm glad, dear.

00:03:42 Hi there, funny face. Having any trouble with the offspring this time?

00:03:45 No more than usual.

00:03:46 How about this one?

00:03:47 Oh, she's been good as gold.

00:03:49 Hey, Dad, where did you bring us?

00:03:51 Where you at?

00:03:52 Quiet, quiet, you'll find out later.

00:03:54 Fall in, fall in.

00:03:56 Come on, let's walk, right?

00:03:58 [Birds chirping]

00:04:12 Good boy, Jackie.

00:04:14 Dan, you there, what's your name? Sitting Bull?

00:04:19 Ah, you haven't forgotten me, Daddy. I'm Fred.

00:04:23 Fred? Fred what?

00:04:24 Fred Sitting Bull.

00:04:25 How?

00:04:26 How?

00:04:27 [Laughs]

00:04:28 All right, let's see your nails.

00:04:30 [Birds chirping]

00:04:34 You could stand a little soap and water in those hands, young man.

00:04:37 Aw, heck, Dad, what's the good of always washing them? They only get dirty again.

00:04:41 That's a risk we have to take.

00:04:44 Lillian, I thought I told you not to bite your nails.

00:04:47 I didn't bite them, Daddy. They broke off on the piano.

00:04:50 Then maybe you better go back to the violin.

00:04:53 Oh, oh. How many home runs today?

00:04:55 Two.

00:04:56 Slipping, huh?

00:04:57 [Laughs]

00:04:59 All right, Martha, still dieting?

00:05:02 Kinda.

00:05:05 Very nice, Mary.

00:05:06 And it's steamed.

00:05:07 Mm-hmm.

00:05:11 What's that in your face? Paint?

00:05:13 No, it isn't. And besides, Dad, they don't call it paint anymore. It's makeup.

00:05:17 I don't care what they call it. And don't think you can fool me either.

00:05:20 I know paint when I see it.

00:05:23 Here, spit on this.

00:05:32 Well, I see it isn't paint, and I apologize.

00:05:35 But it might have been.

00:05:36 'Cause I've told you I won't have any painted women in this house.

00:05:39 If you start any of that nonsense, you'll wake up and find yourself in a...

00:05:42 In a convent. Yes, Daddy, I know the one with a 12-foot wall near Albany.

00:05:46 Don't be impertinent.

00:05:51 Now, you'll find the chocolate bars there in my briefcase. Fall out, fall out.

00:05:54 [Children cheering]

00:05:55 Well, Lily, it's all settled.

00:05:57 Is it, Dad?

00:05:58 Yes, ma'am. Signed, sealed, and ready for delivery.

00:06:01 Good.

00:06:02 What is? What's ready for delivery, Dad?

00:06:03 Tell us, Dad.

00:06:04 Shall I?

00:06:05 They'll have to know sooner or later.

00:06:06 All right. Hey, small fry, how would you kids like to live in Montclair, New Jersey?

00:06:10 Montclair!

00:06:12 But, Daddy, you mean Lee Providence?

00:06:14 I don't know how else you'd do it.

00:06:15 Oh, but why? Why?

00:06:17 Well, because it'd be nearer my work.

00:06:18 But, gee, Dad, I'm short stuff on our team.

00:06:21 And I'm pitcher.

00:06:22 There's plenty of time before school starts. You can form a new team in Montclair.

00:06:25 But we don't want to form a new team. We want to be on the one we're on.

00:06:29 Anyhow, who wants to live in old Montclair?

00:06:31 And your father's when we moved here, we could stay.

00:06:34 Just when we were making friends, too.

00:06:36 All right, now, lady, I got them marbles in the comb out, and I think most of the birds nest.

00:06:40 Anyway, it worked just as good as ever.

00:06:42 Thank you. I'll send you a check.

00:06:44 That's all right. What did you just say?

00:06:45 Oh, Dad, please don't make it worse.

00:06:48 Be quiet, all of you!

00:06:52 Stop this infernal howling!

00:06:54 But, Dad!

00:06:55 Stop it!

00:06:56 Are all these kids yours, mister, or is this a picnic?

00:06:58 They're all mine. And believe me, it's no picnic.

00:07:02 Silence!

00:07:04 After a few days of organized confusion, we were packed and ready to depart.

00:07:11 I might add that Ringling Brothers Circus had nothing on us.

00:07:15 Be sure everything's out of the house before you leave, Jim.

00:07:21 Don't you worry, Mrs. Gilbert. We'll take care of everything.

00:07:23 Have a nice trip. We'll see you Friday morning.

00:07:26 Yes, we'll meet the train.

00:07:28 Hey, Bill, come on there. Hurry up. Come on.

00:07:32 The carriage is getting restless.

00:07:34 Come on, Bill. Make it snappy.

00:07:39 Scared you, didn't I, son?

00:07:41 I'll bet you jumped six and nine-tenths inches.

00:07:44 It's all right, dear.

00:07:46 I'd have been scared, too.

00:07:47 Keep your eyes open crossing the street, young man.

00:07:49 Well, is everybody in? Anne, Ernestine, Martha, Mary, Frank?

00:07:52 All present and accounted for, Dad.

00:07:54 Okay, if you're all reasonably sanitary, let's go.

00:07:57 Goodbye, Rhode Island. New Jersey, here we come.

00:08:06 (HORN BLOWING)

00:08:08 Hey, Noah, what are you doing with that arc?

00:08:15 Collecting animals like the good Lord told me, brother.

00:08:18 All I need now is a jackass. Hop in.

00:08:21 We turn to the left here, don't we, dear?

00:08:27 I'm going to turn.

00:08:28 It's okay, Dad. I think you can make it.

00:08:30 I know I can make it. Hold out your hand.

00:08:33 (HORN BLOWING)

00:08:35 Bye, brother.

00:08:36 Bye.

00:08:37 Ah.

00:08:53 That fan built again. You have to get out, Bill.

00:08:56 Excuse me, Lily.

00:08:57 It's not going to blow up, is it?

00:08:58 Of course not. Won't take a minute to fix it.

00:09:00 Incidentally, now's a good time, while we're stopped,

00:09:03 if any of you kids want to go see Mrs. Murphy.

00:09:05 Well, how about it?

00:09:06 Not me, Dad.

00:09:07 All right, we remember all of you.

00:09:09 This is your last chance.

00:09:11 I can't understand why a good car like this should be backed enough.

00:09:15 It's not one thing, it's another.

00:09:17 Last week, it was a carburetor.

00:09:19 What happened?

00:09:26 I don't know.

00:09:28 I think that will do.

00:09:30 (HORN BLOWING)

00:09:32 Who did that?

00:09:36 That was a good joke on you, Dad.

00:09:39 Listen, young man.

00:09:42 There's a time and a place for jokes, and a time and a place for spanking.

00:09:46 And the sooner you learn to...

00:09:48 Get out. Get out.

00:09:49 Mercy, Maud Frank.

00:09:50 I'll bet you jumped six and nine-tenths inches that time.

00:09:57 You're right, son.

00:09:59 That was a good joke on me.

00:10:01 By jingo, I'll bet I did jump six and nine-tenths inches.

00:10:05 Oh, these kids, these kids.

00:10:09 Oh, excuse me, dear. I did that. It was accidental.

00:10:15 # Who made my teary when you called me deary?

00:10:25 # Was I where the bluegrass grows?

00:10:29 # Your lips were sweeter than julep

00:10:32 # When you wore a tulip

00:10:34 # And I wore a big red rose

00:10:38 (LAUGHING)

00:10:40 What do you suppose piddling little families with only five or six children do with themselves?

00:10:45 I can't imagine, but I do know one thing.

00:10:47 We'll look back on moments like these as the happiest in our lives.

00:10:50 You children hear that?

00:10:52 Yes, sir.

00:10:53 All right, don't forget it.

00:10:55 # Memories, memories

00:10:59 # Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da

00:11:01 Yes, son?

00:11:02 I gotta go see Mrs. Murphy.

00:11:04 I asked you not 15 minutes ago, and you said...

00:11:06 Yes, I know, but gee, I can't help it, Dad.

00:11:09 Me too, Dad.

00:11:10 I do too, Dad.

00:11:11 By jingo, I gave you a last chance. I'm not stopping again.

00:11:14 Nothing doing. I had every opportunity.

00:11:16 Frank, I think you'd better stop.

00:11:18 All right, out you go.

00:11:23 (SCREAMING)

00:11:25 And hurry up. We haven't got all day.

00:11:27 Make it snappy.

00:11:28 (CLEARS THROAT)

00:11:29 # Memories, memories

00:11:33 # Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da

00:11:36 # Memories, memories

00:11:40 # Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da

00:11:44 # Memories, memories

00:11:47 All right, you can open your eyes now.

00:11:49 (GASPING)

00:11:50 Well, what do you think of it?

00:11:51 Oh, Frank, it's beautiful.

00:11:53 It's wonderful, Dad.

00:11:54 I'm glad you like it. I waited to see the inside.

00:11:56 Come on, let's get out.

00:11:57 Go on there, Frank. Help your mother.

00:11:59 That's a good fella.

00:12:00 You must admit, Lily, it's a mighty fine piece of property.

00:12:03 Oh, it's lovely.

00:12:04 I knew it was the right place the minute I laid eyes on it.

00:12:06 The reason I didn't say much about it or try to describe it was,

00:12:09 well, I didn't want you to be disappointed.

00:12:11 Oh, no, Daddy, we love it.

00:12:12 You folks moving in here?

00:12:13 That's right. Gilbreath's the name.

00:12:14 Well, you've certainly got a nice place, I'll say that for you.

00:12:17 Thank you. We think so.

00:12:18 All those kids yours?

00:12:19 Oh, these aren't so many. You ought to see the ones we left behind.

00:12:22 (LAUGHING)

00:12:23 How do you ever feed 'em?

00:12:24 Oh, they come cheaper for the dozen, you know.

00:12:26 (LAUGHING)

00:12:27 Bye.

00:12:28 Come on.

00:12:29 It was a wonderful house, and we loved living in it.

00:12:38 But we soon found out that while it was often too small for 12 children,

00:12:42 it was more often too large for two servants.

00:12:45 As usual, Mother and Dad met the problem in the typical Gilbreath manner, head on.

00:12:51 (CHILDREN CHATTERING)

00:12:52 (KNOCKING)

00:12:53 The family council will please come to order.

00:12:56 Now, obviously, this house is too big for Mrs. Monaghan and Jim Bracken

00:13:01 to take care of without help.

00:13:03 Therefore, your mother and I have called this meeting to discuss you children

00:13:06 taking over part of the work in the house and in the yard.

00:13:09 Assignments will be made on the basis of personal choice and aptitude.

00:13:14 Now, does the chair hear any suggestions?

00:13:18 Come, come, members of the council. This is a democracy.

00:13:21 Everybody has an equal voice.

00:13:23 How do you want to divide the work?

00:13:25 In a democracy, everybody speaks, so by jingo, start speaking.

00:13:31 Bill, I recognize you. What do you think?

00:13:34 I think Mrs. Monaghan and Jim Bracken ought to do the work.

00:13:37 They get paid for it.

00:13:39 Sit down. You're no longer recognized.

00:13:41 But in a democracy...

00:13:42 Hush, Bill.

00:13:43 It's almost impossible to get good servants these days

00:13:46 with so many children in the family.

00:13:48 Mr. Chairman?

00:13:49 Yes, son?

00:13:50 I think you're right. Jim and Mrs. Monaghan do have too much to do.

00:13:54 I move we hire more people to work for us.

00:13:56 Second the motion.

00:13:57 Thank you.

00:13:58 Out of order. Sit down and be quiet, all of you.

00:14:01 I, uh...

00:14:02 The chair recognizes the assistant chairman.

00:14:07 Well, of course, we could hire additional help,

00:14:11 and that might be the answer.

00:14:13 But then that would mean cutting the budget somewhere else.

00:14:17 Perhaps if we cut out all desserts and allowances,

00:14:20 we might be able to afford a maid.

00:14:22 And then if we cut out movies, ice cream sodas,

00:14:25 and new clothes for a year,

00:14:27 we might even be able to afford a helper for Jim, too.

00:14:30 Do I hear a motion to that effect?

00:14:33 How about it, Bill? Do you want to stop allowances?

00:14:35 Frank? Ann?

00:14:37 Oh, well, I move we allot the work.

00:14:40 Splendid, splendid. Do I hear a second?

00:14:43 Second the motion.

00:14:44 All those in favor signify.

00:14:46 Aye.

00:14:47 Motion carried.

00:14:48 Now, is there any further business?

00:14:50 I move we adjourn.

00:14:52 Not so fast, young lady.

00:14:53 There's still that little matter of specific assignments.

00:14:56 For instance, the back fence, which is badly in need of whitewashing.

00:14:59 Do I hear any bids?

00:15:01 Speak up.

00:15:03 If you want to earn a little extra spending money, here's your chance.

00:15:06 Yes, Bill?

00:15:07 I'll bid $10.

00:15:09 You must think this is a government project.

00:15:11 Do I hear any reasonable bids?

00:15:13 I... I bid $0.47.

00:15:16 $0.47?

00:15:18 Please, Daddy, let me do it.

00:15:20 Tell me, how'd you happen to hit on $0.47?

00:15:24 I've been saving to buy a pair of roller skates,

00:15:26 and that's how much more I need.

00:15:27 But you're going to get skates for your birthday.

00:15:29 Frank.

00:15:30 Oh, I'm sorry, Lily.

00:15:32 I wasn't supposed to let that out of the bag.

00:15:34 Oh, Daddy, that's wonderful.

00:15:36 Thank you, thank you.

00:15:38 I'm surprised that's too big a job for a little girl like you.

00:15:43 Frank, here's your chance.

00:15:44 What do you bid? Within reason.

00:15:46 Oh, well, $2.50, I guess.

00:15:49 Good. You got yourself a contract.

00:15:51 Now, is there any more on you, business?

00:15:54 I think this family ought to buy a dog.

00:15:58 Out of order. Meeting adjourned.

00:16:01 [car horn honking]

00:16:05 Well, here we are.

00:16:11 I know you're all eager to get started on the new school year, so out you go.

00:16:14 Hurry up, hurry up.

00:16:15 But, Dad, not all of us.

00:16:17 Certainly all of you.

00:16:18 You want us to make an impression, don't you?

00:16:20 But this isn't our school, Ernestine's and mine.

00:16:22 We're going to go to high school.

00:16:23 We'll take care of that later.

00:16:24 I want to show these people first what a real family looks like.

00:16:27 Oh, but, Dad, it's so embarrassing.

00:16:29 A woman with inner dignity is never embarrassed.

00:16:31 Besides, business like this gets results.

00:16:34 Teachers laugh it up.

00:16:35 I only wish I had time to send home for your mother and the babies.

00:16:38 And I will, too, unless you two get a move on.

00:16:40 Come on.

00:16:41 Honestly, Dad, you have more gall.

00:16:43 Somebody in this family has to show a little spunk.

00:16:46 Come on, son.

00:16:47 So silly. I've had you for many years.

00:16:50 Please, I can't believe it.

00:16:52 Ern, Ern.

00:16:54 There he is.

00:16:58 He's the one I told you about, the captain of the swimming team.

00:17:01 His name is Tom Black.

00:17:03 Oh, he's adorable.

00:17:05 I'll say.

00:17:07 What are you two hanging back there for?

00:17:13 Come along.

00:17:14 Shh, Daddy.

00:17:15 Please.

00:17:17 Why, somebody might hear you.

00:17:19 Suppose they do.

00:17:20 They're going to hear from me soon enough anyhow.

00:17:22 No dying cow looks now.

00:17:24 Hold your head up.

00:17:25 And look alive. Let's go.

00:17:27 Take your hat off.

00:17:29 Gangway.

00:17:35 Refer these to Miss Jensen.

00:17:42 Give these to Miss Sweeney.

00:17:44 Come in.

00:17:45 Good morning, madam.

00:17:46 Good morning.

00:17:47 Just a Gilbreath invasion.

00:17:48 Or perhaps I should say a partial invasion.

00:17:50 Since I left most of them at home with their mother,

00:17:52 I hope we're not too late.

00:17:54 Oh, not at all.

00:17:55 I'm delighted to see you, Mr. Gilbreath.

00:17:57 We've heard so much about you.

00:17:59 I understand you have...

00:18:00 Eleven children, ma'am.

00:18:02 But unfortunately, only five will be under your excellent supervision.

00:18:05 Mary, Martha, Lillian, Bill, and Frank, Jr.

00:18:09 How do you do, children?

00:18:10 I just brought my two older girls and an Ernestine along,

00:18:13 so you could get a better idea of the crop we're raising.

00:18:15 Well, I'm so glad you dropped in, Mr. Gilbreath.

00:18:17 I'm sure we're all going to get along beautifully together.

00:18:20 It's such a pleasure to...

00:18:21 Just a minute.

00:18:22 I'm not just dropping in.

00:18:24 I want to meet their teachers and see what grades they're going into.

00:18:27 Oh, well, I'm afraid all our teachers are busy at the moment.

00:18:29 You see, it's opening day.

00:18:30 Oh, that's all right.

00:18:31 I'm in no hurry.

00:18:32 In fact, I've arranged my schedule so as to give you my entire morning.

00:18:36 Meanwhile, as to their grades,

00:18:38 I see no reason why children who are well-developed mentally

00:18:41 should be held back by a school system

00:18:43 geared to those of simply normal mentality.

00:18:46 No, of course not.

00:18:47 But so much depends on their ages.

00:18:49 Now, if you just write...

00:18:50 You mean mental ages, of course.

00:18:53 Bill, how old are you, son?

00:18:55 Eight.

00:18:56 What grade does an eight-year-old usually belong in?

00:18:59 The third.

00:19:00 Then I think he better go in the fifth.

00:19:02 Oh, but that's impossible, Mr. Gilbreath.

00:19:04 Perhaps later on, if he takes tests...

00:19:06 By all means.

00:19:07 I hope they'll all take a lot of tests.

00:19:09 It's good for them.

00:19:10 Meanwhile, to illustrate my point,

00:19:13 Frank, what's 46 times 83?

00:19:17 3,818.

00:19:20 Lillian, 19 times 91?

00:19:24 1,729.

00:19:27 Bill, 52 times 52?

00:19:31 2,704.

00:19:34 Now, would you care to suggest a few large numbers?

00:19:38 Well, I think I'll take your word for it, Mr. Gilbreath,

00:19:42 and I'll see what I can do.

00:19:44 If it really expedite matters,

00:19:46 if you'd have the teacher of the fifth grade step in here for a moment.

00:19:49 Also, while we're about it,

00:19:51 the teachers of the third, fourth, sixth, and seventh.

00:19:55 Ask Miss Billsop, Miss Jensen, Miss Moore, Mrs. Hallwright, and Miss Sweeney

00:19:59 to step in here for a moment.

00:20:00 Thank you, madam.

00:20:01 And now, while we're waiting,

00:20:03 perhaps it might interest you to hear something of the home training program

00:20:06 their mother and I have worked out for the children.

00:20:08 Spelling games, geography quizzes, language study...

00:20:11 We're learning French and German from a vectorola.

00:20:14 Dad's even taught us how to take a whole bath in the time it takes to play just one record.

00:20:18 Really?

00:20:19 A simple matter of coordination, madam.

00:20:21 Like any other physical effort, scientific bathing is...

00:20:24 Yes, but how do you do it?

00:20:26 Well, this seems hardly the time and place.

00:20:29 I doubt if you'd be interested.

00:20:32 Oh, but I am. It sounds perfectly fascinating.

00:20:35 Yeah, go on. Sure, Dad.

00:20:37 Yeah, sure.

00:20:38 Well, if you insist, son, this is really very simple.

00:20:42 First, you take the soap in your right hand, apply it to the left shoulder,

00:20:46 run it down the top of the left arm, up the inside of the left arm to the armpit,

00:20:51 then the ears, both of them, of course, not forgetting the back of the neck,

00:20:55 then down the outside of the left leg, back up the inside of the left leg,

00:20:59 then down the right leg and up.

00:21:02 Then at the hip, change the soap to the left hand

00:21:04 and do the same thing on the right arm and shoulder.

00:21:07 After a couple of circular motions on the midsection and back,

00:21:11 then some special attention to the feet,

00:21:14 slide under for a rinse and you rise bathed.

00:21:18 Oh, come in, ladies. Mr. Gilbert is just showing me how to take a bath.

00:21:22 Oh, what?

00:21:24 Good morning, ladies.

00:21:25 Good morning.

00:21:28 In our family, sickness was taboo.

00:21:31 Dr. Burton's car in front of our house could mean only one thing.

00:21:35 Dad!

00:21:36 Yes?

00:21:37 Where's the baby? Where is it?

00:21:39 It's taking a nap, of course. Why?

00:21:41 We mean the latest model.

00:21:43 Is it a boy or a girl?

00:21:45 Is what a boy or a girl?

00:21:47 Oh, come on, Daddy, you can't fool us.

00:21:49 What are we going to name this one?

00:21:50 Lily, what's gotten into these children? What are they talking about?

00:21:53 I can't imagine, dear.

00:21:54 We want to see the new baby.

00:21:56 Whatever gave you the idea there was a new baby?

00:21:59 That's Dr. Burton's automobile outside, isn't it?

00:22:02 Yes.

00:22:03 And you were sick last night, weren't you?

00:22:05 I had a slight headache.

00:22:06 And every time you're sick, there's always a baby, isn't there?

00:22:09 Oh, my goodness.

00:22:10 Babies don't come just because you're sick.

00:22:12 I thought you knew that.

00:22:14 They've always come before when you were sick.

00:22:16 Oh, dear.

00:22:19 It's up to you, Lily. You're the psychologist.

00:22:22 I have some very important work to do.

00:22:24 I'll be in my study.

00:22:25 You understand, don't you?

00:22:27 Yes, I certainly do.

00:22:30 Well, first about Dr. Burton.

00:22:32 He's here because he's afraid Jack has a whooping cough,

00:22:35 which means you children will have to stay away from him.

00:22:38 As to babies, well, I think it's about time we had a little talk.

00:22:44 [coughing]

00:22:47 Oh, no, Bill.

00:22:49 Don't tell me you're getting it, too.

00:22:51 [coughing]

00:22:54 Who's that coughing?

00:22:55 Me, Dad.

00:22:56 Well, stop it.

00:22:58 I'm not going to have an epidemic in this house.

00:23:00 We haven't time for any such nonsense.

00:23:02 You children have been given good health, and by Jinger, it's your job to keep it.

00:23:06 I don't want any excuses. You hear me?

00:23:08 Yes, sir.

00:23:09 All right.

00:23:10 I think I'd better get him up to the doctor.

00:23:11 Yes, Lily.

00:23:12 [barking]

00:23:16 Where did that whatever it is come from?

00:23:18 He's a beaut, isn't he, Dad?

00:23:19 A beaut?

00:23:20 [barking]

00:23:21 Here, you mangy mongo.

00:23:23 Go on, get out. Don't argue. Out. Out.

00:23:25 [door slams]

00:23:27 [coughing]

00:23:31 Martha, keep that cover on.

00:23:33 Remember what the doctor said.

00:23:35 He wants you to keep warm.

00:23:36 Yes, Mother.

00:23:38 [coughing]

00:23:39 Here, darling. Put this jacket around your shoulders.

00:23:41 Thank you, Mother.

00:23:43 I'm going down to the kitchen now to get you dessert.

00:23:45 Then I'll read to you, if you like.

00:23:47 Oh, hello, Dad.

00:23:49 May I come in?

00:23:50 Of course, dear.

00:23:51 I won't disturb anything.

00:23:53 It's all right. The children have missed you.

00:23:55 [coughing]

00:23:58 Oh, Frank. Not you, too.

00:24:00 Yes, yes.

00:24:01 Looks like I belong up here, too, Lily.

00:24:03 Oh, dear.

00:24:04 [coughing]

00:24:05 [children singing]

00:24:07 You children get back to bed.

00:24:09 Go on.

00:24:11 Dr. Burton.

00:24:13 Yes?

00:24:14 Will you come in here a minute, please?

00:24:16 Right away.

00:24:17 [coughing]

00:24:19 Frank, sit down, dear.

00:24:21 Do you ache anywhere?

00:24:23 I'll be all right, Lily.

00:24:24 Heavens, Dave, what's the trouble now?

00:24:26 It's Mr. Gilbert. He's coughing, too.

00:24:28 Oh, me. How did I ever get mixed up with this family, anyhow?

00:24:32 Let me hear you cough.

00:24:33 Oh, ho, ho, ho. There's nothing the matter with me.

00:24:36 I was only joking.

00:24:38 You were what?

00:24:39 It just wasn't any fun downstairs by myself, Lily.

00:24:42 I wanted to be up here with the rest of the family.

00:24:44 Very funny. Very funny.

00:24:46 Frank Gilbert, I give up.

00:24:48 Sometimes I think you're more trouble than the children.

00:24:50 I'm sorry, Lily, but all that quiet down there makes me nervous.

00:24:53 Oh, really?

00:24:55 [coughing]

00:24:57 Tell me, Doc, how are my Mongolians coming along?

00:25:00 They'll live.

00:25:01 In spite of you, you old veterinarian.

00:25:03 I'll say one thing for you, Gilbert.

00:25:05 Your children don't get sick very often.

00:25:07 When they do, they certainly mess up the public health statistics of the state of New Jersey.

00:25:11 How's that, Mr. Bones?

00:25:13 Ordinarily, I only have a couple of cases of whooping cough or measles a week.

00:25:17 When I have to report 11 cases in a single day,

00:25:19 they're liable to quarantine the whole town of Montclair and close every school in Essex County.

00:25:23 Well, at least these are only light cases.

00:25:25 Pioneer stuff, you know.

00:25:27 As far as New Jersey's concerned, whooping cough's whooping cough.

00:25:31 By the way, these kids have got tonsils, really ugly ones.

00:25:34 As soon as they're over this whooping cough, they ought to come out.

00:25:36 Nonsense. I've never had mine out.

00:25:38 Well, maybe you should have. Let's look at it.

00:25:39 No, you don't. I tell you, there's nothing the matter with them.

00:25:41 Oh, stop wasting my time. Sit down here.

00:25:43 What's the point of all this?

00:25:44 Sit down here. Open your mouth.

00:25:46 Open your mouth. Say "ah."

00:25:48 [groaning]

00:25:51 Just as I thought, yours should have been out years ago.

00:25:54 You're crazy. I've never been sick a day in my life.

00:25:56 Okay, let them stay in if you want to.

00:25:59 You're not hurting anyone but yourself.

00:26:01 But these children's tonsils have got to come out, all but one.

00:26:05 Martha's. Hers are as sound as a dollar.

00:26:07 Hooray for me!

00:26:08 Well, good night, girls. I'll see you tomorrow.

00:26:11 Good night, Doctor.

00:26:12 [coughing]

00:26:14 Say, Doc, I was just thinking.

00:26:16 If we have to have their tonsils out, could we do it here in the house?

00:26:19 Why here? What's the matter with the hospital?

00:26:21 Well, it struck me. If we could rig up an operating room downstairs,

00:26:24 I could photograph the operations and study what you doctors are doing wrong.

00:26:28 Then I'd be able to show you how you could eliminate a lot of waste motions and speed things up.

00:26:32 Now, wait a minute. That system of yours may be all right, in fact.

00:26:35 And in medicine, too.

00:26:37 Oh, I've been looking for a chance like this.

00:26:39 Now, not so fast. Nobody's going to...

00:26:41 Good evening, Doctor.

00:26:42 Lily, we're going to have the children's tonsils out.

00:26:45 Oh, Frank, do we have to?

00:26:47 That's what this fellow here says.

00:26:48 But it's all right. I'm going to take movies.

00:26:50 Of the operations?

00:26:51 Certainly of the operations.

00:26:53 Why, there's no telling how many lives this sort of study will help save.

00:26:56 But doesn't it seem rather heartless using the children as guinea pigs?

00:26:59 Not at all. They'll be asleep and won't know what's going on.

00:27:02 Besides, it'll make you feel any better.

00:27:04 I'll let this old butcher here yank mine out, too.

00:27:07 Yours? Well, why didn't you say so? Now we're getting somewhere.

00:27:11 Oh, Frank, but...

00:27:12 Oh, don't stop him. Let him go ahead and cut his own throat.

00:27:14 That's one part of the festivities I might even enjoy.

00:27:18 Will you stop drooling?

00:27:20 By Jingo, this may make you famous, you old quack.

00:27:24 All right, May, you can ease up a little now.

00:27:36 All right, start. Start cranking.

00:27:46 Easy, old. Let it lock in.

00:27:49 It's in. Everything's in.

00:27:53 Mr. Gilbert, my stomach's beginning...

00:27:58 I'm not interested in your internal organs. Just keep cranking.

00:28:02 Dad had said, "Think of all the fun we'll have looking at the movies and seeing ourselves asleep."

00:28:09 But I'm afraid to those waiting it was not a very consoling thought.

00:28:14 As much as they love movies, I have a feeling that that's one epic they'd have been delighted to pass up.

00:28:20 I hear you poor kids couldn't have any breakfast this morning.

00:28:30 Oh, everybody knows you can't eat before you get operated on.

00:28:33 I had donuts for breakfast with sugar. Mmm, delicious.

00:28:37 And a big piece of apple pie that was left over from last night.

00:28:40 You beast. You get out of here.

00:28:42 Mrs. Monaghan was just as sweet as she could be.

00:28:45 Why don't you have another one, Martha?

00:28:47 Thanks, Mrs. Monaghan. I believe I will.

00:28:49 Why don't you take two or three? They're so tasty.

00:28:52 I really shouldn't, Mrs. Monaghan.

00:28:54 But maybe while those poor kids are waiting tonight, I'll dedicate one to each of them.

00:29:00 Mother, will you make Martha stop talking about what a delicious breakfast she had?

00:29:04 All she's done since she's been in here is gloat.

00:29:07 Not another word about food, Martha. Do you understand?

00:29:09 I'm sorry, Mother. I won't even mention donuts and apple pie again.

00:29:14 Martha!

00:29:15 Nothing to it. Anne slept through it just like a baby.

00:29:18 And I know we got some great movies.

00:29:20 Come on, Ernestine girl, you're next.

00:29:22 Don't be afraid, dear. It'll be over in a few minutes.

00:29:25 I'm not afraid, Mother. Much.

00:29:27 Gilbert, afraid? Don't be ridiculous.

00:29:30 After all, she's her father's daughter. What in the world is there to be afraid of?

00:29:32 Never heard such nonsense.

00:29:34 It'll all be over in a jiffy. Go on, dear.

00:29:36 Go ahead, dear.

00:29:38 That's a good girl.

00:29:39 I'll go up to the van.

00:29:41 Everything's under control.

00:29:43 All right, let's take off the robe and hop right up here on the table.

00:29:47 Is it going to hurt?

00:29:49 At your age, you won't even feel it.

00:29:51 That's what I told the doctor.

00:29:53 All right, May.

00:29:55 Just relax, dear. I'll be right here with you.

00:29:59 How about changing the lens for this one?

00:30:06 I see exactly how his caddy hands him those knives.

00:30:08 It's bloody kind of hot in here.

00:30:10 Couldn't we open a window or something?

00:30:12 You want this child to get pneumonia?

00:30:14 But this eater...

00:30:15 Never mind the eater. Just take care of that camera.

00:30:17 Ready, Doctor.

00:30:19 Good heavens, man, I told you I didn't want Martha.

00:30:24 You haven't got Martha. That's Ernestine.

00:30:26 You sure?

00:30:27 Of course I'm sure, you jackass.

00:30:29 You must be mistaken. Here, look carefully. There now. Isn't that Martha?

00:30:32 Don't you suppose I know my own children?

00:30:34 That's Ernestine.

00:30:35 Well, if this isn't Martha, we've made a horrible mistake.

00:30:37 "We"? What do you mean, "we"? What kind of a mistake?

00:30:39 All I know them by is their tonsils.

00:30:41 I thought these tonsils were Martha's.

00:30:43 They're the only ones that didn't have to come out.

00:30:45 You mean to tell me you've knocked my little girl unconscious for no reason at all?

00:30:48 I'm sorry, but that's about it.

00:30:50 I'll admit it was careless, but you do have an uncommon lot of them, and they all look alike to me.

00:30:54 But what do we do now?

00:30:56 Take them out anyhow. They'll have to come out eventually.

00:30:58 The worst part of an operation is dreading it beforehand.

00:31:02 I haven't had Martha any.

00:31:03 But she's been eating all morning.

00:31:05 Never mind. Go get her. I'm not going through another day like this.

00:31:09 Start grinding. At least we'll salvage something.

00:31:13 Poor Martha. It was a blow, but in she went, full of pie, donuts, and indignation.

00:31:24 Frank.

00:31:28 What is all this about Martha?

00:31:31 Burton. He got her mixed up with Ernestine. It's all his fault.

00:31:34 I don't care whose fault it is. I think it's a shame.

00:31:37 After letting that poor child eat all those donuts for breakfast, only to be snatched up and brought in here to be butchered.

00:31:42 Now there's nothing to worry about, Lily. It's no worse than a mosquito bite.

00:31:45 Besides, it's almost over. You better wait in the other room. Go on, dear.

00:31:49 There we are.

00:31:50 Keep grinding.

00:31:52 Frank, I think this whole thing...

00:31:55 But you're making a mountain out of a molehill.

00:31:58 All it takes is the tiniest little cut at the back of the throat.

00:32:01 Just to show you it's nothing, I'll go next.

00:32:03 I thought you wanted to watch your pictures.

00:32:05 Oh, I'll watch, all right. I'm only going to take a local anesthetic.

00:32:08 Oh, I won't miss a thing.

00:32:09 But does Dr. Burton think a local anesthetic is wise?

00:32:12 Oh, that's just a lot of nonsense about my physical condition.

00:32:15 These doctors don't know what they're talking about half the time.

00:32:18 I'll be in the "Amen" corner when they're laying him away.

00:32:21 Besides, I want to get this over with before lunch. I'm starved.

00:32:24 Gee, Dan, you act like you're looking forward to it.

00:32:27 Well, sure, son. There's nothing to it.

00:32:29 Just like rolling off a log.

00:32:31 All right. Who's next?

00:32:34 I am.

00:32:35 Okay, make it snappy. A man can stand just so much.

00:32:38 Frank, I hope you're not making a mistake. After all, at your age...

00:32:41 Age has nothing to do with it, Lily.

00:32:43 It's simply a matter of resolution.

00:32:45 Let's go.

00:32:46 Yes, indeed.

00:32:53 To Dad, a tonsil operation was nothing.

00:32:56 Just like... How did he put it?

00:32:58 Just like rolling off a log.

00:33:00 Frank!

00:33:06 Lily, my throat.

00:33:08 It hurts.

00:33:09 Yes, I know, dear.

00:33:11 I can't talk.

00:33:13 Nurse, I'll take him.

00:33:14 You're all right, old pioneer. You just had to have it the hard way.

00:33:18 Lily, I'm dying.

00:33:19 Now, come on, old man.

00:33:20 I'm dying.

00:33:21 I'll give you something to make you sleep.

00:33:23 I don't sleep with my throat.

00:33:25 You'll be all right in a couple of weeks.

00:33:27 Mr. Gilbert. Mr. Gilbert.

00:33:29 Go away. Go away.

00:33:30 See, I'm dying.

00:33:31 I hate to tell you this, but it looks like none of them motion pictures will be any good.

00:33:35 No good?

00:33:38 I forgot to put any film in the camera.

00:33:41 You what?

00:33:43 Please. Oh, now, please. Please don't get excited.

00:33:45 Any... You know, it's too much for me. I quit.

00:33:48 Let me...

00:33:49 Frank!

00:33:51 [Music]

00:33:53 [Music]

00:33:56 [Music]

00:34:00 [Music]

00:34:03 [Music]

00:34:07 [Music]

00:34:11 [Music]

00:34:15 [Music]

00:34:19 [Music]

00:34:23 [Music]

00:34:28 [Music]

00:34:31 Children. Children. Now, we are not doing our best.

00:34:35 Suppose we start over.

00:34:36 And this time, let's be sure everybody's in the same key.

00:34:39 Oh, it's no use, Miss Ethel.

00:34:41 We might as well face it. We just haven't any musical talent.

00:34:44 We mustn't let our father hear us say that.

00:34:46 Why? Doesn't he know yet?

00:34:48 He takes it for granted that all of his children are gifted.

00:34:51 Well, far be it from me to disillusion him.

00:34:53 Let's go.

00:34:54 All right, children. Ready?

00:34:57 One, two, three.

00:35:00 [Music]

00:35:04 [Music]

00:35:08 [Music]

00:35:12 [Music]

00:35:16 [Music]

00:35:20 [Music]

00:35:25 [Music]

00:35:28 [Music]

00:35:32 Softly now.

00:35:35 Softly as a little brook tinkling through a still forest.

00:35:38 [Music]

00:35:42 [Music]

00:35:46 [Music]

00:35:50 Excuse me.

00:35:52 But do you by any chance hear a little brook tinkling through a still forest?

00:35:56 Poor Miss Ethel. What fortitude.

00:35:59 You're home early, dear.

00:36:00 Yes, I know.

00:36:01 But I had a letter today from Dr. Blenheim of Czechoslovakia.

00:36:05 Thought you might like to see it.

00:36:06 Oh, do they want you to come?

00:36:07 Well, there's nothing really definite yet.

00:36:09 But Blenheim thinks there's a good chance they'll ask me to speak at the International Management Conference in Prague.

00:36:14 Oh, Frank, I knew they would. May I see it?

00:36:16 Let's not call our chickens too soon.

00:36:18 There's going to be a pretty high-powered meeting. It'll attract the best scientific minds in the world.

00:36:22 That's why it's such a wonderful opportunity to show other countries what motion study really is.

00:36:27 And to have your methods accepted universally.

00:36:29 I admit it's what I've always hoped for.

00:36:31 It might mean a great deal financially, too, Lily.

00:36:33 But the important thing is that it will establish you as a leader in the whole field.

00:36:38 I'm so happy, Frank.

00:36:40 I knew you'd be pleased.

00:36:42 And why not?

00:36:43 After all, if it hadn't been for you and your help...

00:36:46 Will you tell the children tonight?

00:36:47 You can tell them if you want to.

00:36:48 But warn them not a word about it yet.

00:36:50 But I won't be here tonight.

00:36:52 You won't be here? Where are you going?

00:36:54 Have you forgotten? I have a date at the hospital.

00:36:57 So soon?

00:36:58 Yes, dear. I'm afraid so.

00:37:00 But I thought you were only joking about going to the hospital.

00:37:02 After all, you never went to one before just to have a baby.

00:37:05 Maybe I never thought about it before.

00:37:08 It's going to be awfully lonely around here without you, Lily.

00:37:12 I'll hurry back as quickly as I can.

00:37:14 By the way, do you mind what it is?

00:37:17 I thought we'd already agreed it would be a boy.

00:37:21 After all, we have six girls.

00:37:23 But of course, anything you decide will be all right with me.

00:37:26 Thank you, dear.

00:37:27 Have you thought of a name?

00:37:29 Why, no, I...

00:37:30 What do you think of Robert?

00:37:32 Robert? Why Robert? Who's named Robert?

00:37:34 No one in particular. It's just a nice name, that's all.

00:37:37 I always knew you had a strange collection of bows during your college years.

00:37:40 But which one was Robert?

00:37:41 The one with the long hair and the violin, or the one that lisped, like this?

00:37:45 When you're quite through, we'll decide on a name.

00:37:48 In the meantime, if you want to go into the subject of old flames, remember two can play at that game.

00:37:53 I seem to recall a certain lady poetess...

00:37:56 Never mind, never mind. I wouldn't think of blighting an old schoolgirl romance.

00:38:01 Male or female, Robert it is.

00:38:08 For the twelfth time, Dad's verdict was exactly the same.

00:38:12 Well, I'll say this for him. He's every inch a Gilbreth.

00:38:15 I'm glad you approve.

00:38:17 Yes. I expect we'd better keep him, too.

00:38:20 Well, Lily, it's over. Twelve of them.

00:38:24 And hardly an idiot in the bunch.

00:38:26 And you were afraid you'd be the last of the Gilbreths.

00:38:29 I admit you had me worried there for a while.

00:38:31 Four girls in a row. That can be pretty nerve-wracking.

00:38:34 Of course, you know I did it deliberately.

00:38:38 Come here, young fella.

00:38:40 Let you and me get acquainted.

00:38:42 Be careful with him, Frank. I don't think hospitals approve of fathers.

00:38:46 Hospitals?

00:38:48 Young man, did I ever tell you about the night your mother and I were married?

00:38:53 And we decided to have an even dozen like you?

00:38:56 You set the actual target, dear.

00:38:59 Six boys and six girls.

00:39:01 I believe you even made a memorandum of it.

00:39:04 That's right, son.

00:39:06 Sounds kind of silly now, doesn't it?

00:39:08 Not half as silly as it sounded then.

00:39:11 Honestly, dear, did you really think we'd be able to go through with it?

00:39:17 Why, certainly.

00:39:19 I always knew that anything you and I teamed up in the league would be a success.

00:39:23 It'll seem kind of funny, won't it?

00:39:26 The first time in 17 years we'll be able to go to bed without setting the alarm for a two o'clock feeding.

00:39:32 It's certainly going to be a luxury, isn't it?

00:39:35 A wonderful luxury.

00:39:37 And I'll hate it.

00:39:39 Well, Bob, you'd better get back to your mother.

00:39:44 Looking after her is going to be one of your jobs from now on.

00:39:47 And incidentally, young man, she's a pretty wonderful woman.

00:39:52 Anyway, that's one man's opinion.

00:40:02 Good. Smile now. Smile so I can see the whites of your teeth.

00:40:06 And stop fidgeting.

00:40:08 How can I focus this thing if you keep on fidgeting?

00:40:11 Children, please be quiet. This won't last much longer.

00:40:13 And you're the oldest. Help your mother keep them quiet.

00:40:16 I'm afraid that would require an act of God.

00:40:18 Now stop moving, for all our sakes, and smile.

00:40:21 That's right. Now listen to your sister. Come on now.

00:40:23 Let's have a nice, great big smile there. Come on.

00:40:25 Smile for Daddy. That's better.

00:40:28 Are we all ready? Jane, take your hands down from your ears.

00:40:31 Good girl. Now then, here we go.

00:40:33 Hold it. Hold it. Hold it.

00:40:36 I think that was a good one, Lily.

00:40:39 Ha ha! This new flesh certainly works fine.

00:40:41 Yes, it certainly does.

00:40:43 Now that we're all together, what do you say?

00:40:46 Yeah, it's a swell time. You get the chair and the gavel.

00:40:48 I'll get the table. Okay.

00:40:50 Thank you, dear.

00:40:51 Come, children. It's past your bedtime.

00:40:53 Before you go upstairs, Lily, don't you think we ought to take one more just to be on the safe side?

00:40:57 I think not, dear.

00:40:58 Well, after all, we should. It's the first time we've had all 12 together.

00:41:01 No, Frank. Seven explosions are quite enough in one night.

00:41:04 Okay, Lily. You're the boss.

00:41:06 Well, what's that for?

00:41:08 Dad, we've been talking something over, and we wondered long as we're all here if we couldn't have a family council.

00:41:13 That's possible. What's on your mind, son?

00:41:15 We want to do it legally, Dad. In regular meetings.

00:41:17 Very good. All right, everybody. Come on. Let's take seats.

00:41:20 No, Frank. I'll have to get the babies to bed.

00:41:22 This won't take long. After all, if the children are interested...

00:41:24 I'll take them, Mother. I think they want you down here.

00:41:27 All right, dear. But what's all the mystery about?

00:41:30 You'll find out. Come, Jane.

00:41:32 All right, kids. Take your places. I'll be at your service in a moment.

00:41:35 Hurry up there. Make a snapper. Excuse me, gentlemen.

00:41:38 Now, then. Are we all settled? Hmm?

00:41:41 Now, the family council will please come to order.

00:41:46 Now, then. What's the problem?

00:41:49 Mr. Chairman? Yes?

00:41:50 It's been brought to our attention that the assistant chairman, Mother, intends to buy a new rug for the dining room.

00:41:56 And since the entire membership will be required to look upon and sit in chairs resting on said rug,

00:42:01 we move that the council be consulted before any rug is purchased.

00:42:04 Second the motion. Me, too.

00:42:06 That's a point well taken. Any discussion?

00:42:09 We'd like to ask the assistant chairman how much it's going to cost.

00:42:12 A hundred dollars.

00:42:14 Mr. Chairman, I move that not more than $95 be spent.

00:42:17 Second the motion. Me, too.

00:42:19 Oh, this idea of saving $5 is a very laudable one. Let me commend you.

00:42:23 Now, all those in favor of spending only $95 for a rug, signify by saying aye.

00:42:28 Aye.

00:42:29 Carried. Now, is there any further business?

00:42:31 Yes, sir, Mr. Chairman. I move we spend the $5 we've just saved to buy a dog.

00:42:36 Second the motion. Out of order. Out of order. Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

00:42:39 You children know very well how I feel about having animals around here.

00:42:42 But, Mr. Chairman, a dog would be a pet. William.

00:42:45 Everyone in the family could pet him, and I would be his master.

00:42:48 A dog would be a friend, Mr. Chairman. He could eat scraps of food and... and...

00:42:52 Say it again. What was that?

00:42:54 And that would save motions for the garbage man.

00:42:56 A dog would keep burgers away. He would sleep on the foot of my bed, and I would wash him whenever he was dirty.

00:43:01 A dog would be an accursed nuisance. That's what he'd be. He'd be our master.

00:43:04 He'd eat us out of house and home.

00:43:06 He'd spread fleas from the garage to the basement, and he'd attach himself to me.

00:43:10 Oh, they always do, and I won't have it.

00:43:12 But, Mr. Chairman, I promise...

00:43:14 No. No filthy, flea-bitten creature's gonna share my bed and board.

00:43:17 This whole idea is ridiculous.

00:43:18 But, Mr. Chairman, I...

00:43:19 Lily, don't you see where this is leading us?

00:43:21 If we start throwing our money away like this, the next thing they'll want is ponies, roadsters, trips to Hawaii.

00:43:26 You tell 'em it's out of the question.

00:43:28 I think, dear, we can rely on a good sense of the children.

00:43:30 After all, a $5 dog is not a trip to Hawaii.

00:43:33 But, Lily...

00:43:34 Question!

00:43:35 No, no, I tell you, this whole thing's out of order.

00:43:38 If I'd known what you were up to, I...

00:43:40 Vote! Vote! Vote!

00:43:41 Vote in favor!

00:43:42 Aye! Aye!

00:43:43 No!

00:43:44 Aye! Aye!

00:43:45 No, no, I still say no. No!

00:43:48 The ayes have it, dear.

00:43:49 But, Lily...

00:43:50 The motion's adjourned.

00:43:51 A dog.

00:43:55 Dad was right.

00:44:09 There were 14 Gilbreths in the house, but Mr. Chairman, for thus was he christened,

00:44:14 soon dispelled all doubt as to which Gilbreth was his favorite.

00:44:17 In no time at all, they were bosom companions.

00:44:25 There was no end to Dad's determination to save time.

00:44:34 And in these experiments, large or small, Mother was always at his side,

00:44:39 a partner in every enterprise.

00:44:41 Stop. How long was that?

00:44:43 Seven seconds.

00:44:44 Good. Now we'll do it the other way.

00:44:46 Ready?

00:44:47 Don't.

00:44:48 That was better. Only five and a half seconds.

00:44:59 By Jingo, I knew it. Bottom to top. That's the answer.

00:45:02 Along with Dad's, Mother's fame as a psychologist and industrial consultant had grown also,

00:45:09 to such an extent that people came from far and wide to solicit her help.

00:45:14 Mrs. Gilbreth?

00:45:17 Yes?

00:45:18 I'm Amelia Midbane. I wonder if I could talk with you for a moment.

00:45:22 I'm very busy. If you could tell me...

00:45:24 Well, I'll only take a moment of your time.

00:45:26 Well, won't you come in?

00:45:28 Thank you.

00:45:29 In here, please.

00:45:34 I understand you're very civic-minded, Mrs. Gilbreth.

00:45:36 I believe in being a good citizen, yes.

00:45:38 Won't you sit down?

00:45:40 Thank you. You lecture, too, I hear.

00:45:42 Occasionally. Now, just what is it you wanted...

00:45:45 Well, it's... it's about birth control.

00:45:48 Birth control?

00:45:50 Yes. The National League of Planned Parenthood is organizing a local chapter in Montclair.

00:45:55 I was told that you'd be interested.

00:45:57 I?

00:45:59 I met a friend of yours on the train last night, a next-door neighbor, I believe.

00:46:03 She felt that you were just the person for her.

00:46:06 She was sure you'd be willing to cooperate.

00:46:08 Well, just how would you want me to cooperate?

00:46:12 Why, by being the moving spirit behind our Montclair chapter.

00:46:16 That's a pretty big job, isn't it?

00:46:18 Oh, yes. Yes, there's work to be done.

00:46:20 That's why I'm appealing to you, a civic-minded career woman with the...

00:46:24 This is most important...

00:46:26 With a large house where one can hold meetings.

00:46:29 Well, a family of four, I suppose.

00:46:32 A large house where one can hold meetings.

00:46:35 Well, of course, I'll have to consult my husband.

00:46:39 Oh, is he interested in good works, too?

00:46:42 Oh, yes. I think he'll be very interested in this.

00:46:46 Excuse me. I'll call.

00:46:48 Certainly.

00:46:50 Can you come into the living room a moment, dear?

00:46:57 I'm awfully busy, Louie.

00:46:59 I have a guest, dear. A lady from New York...

00:47:02 Who wants me to be head of the local birth control organization.

00:47:05 Of the what?

00:47:07 Shh. It's a pretty big job, dear.

00:47:10 Oh, indeed.

00:47:12 Well, in that case, Lily...

00:47:16 Let's go.

00:47:18 Mrs. Meebane, this is my husband, Mr. Gilbreth.

00:47:26 How do you do, Mr. Gilbreth?

00:47:27 It's a pleasure, madam.

00:47:29 It's a great pleasure to meet a woman engaged in such a noble cause.

00:47:33 Thank you. And it's a pleasure to find a man who thinks it is noble.

00:47:36 Usually, we find the husbands so much less sympathetic with our aims than the wives.

00:47:41 You'd be surprised at some of the horrible things men have said to me.

00:47:44 Yes, I can imagine.

00:47:46 And yet, if you could see as I have relatively young women growing old before their time.

00:47:50 Oh, a pity. A great pity.

00:47:53 Excuse me, Mrs. Meebane, just a moment.

00:47:55 Yes.

00:47:57 Why, how odd. What's he doing, Mrs. Gilbreth?

00:48:05 Whistling.

00:48:06 Oh, yes, I know. But why?

00:48:08 Oh, he frequently whistles.

00:48:10 Hey, wait!

00:48:12 Come on, Jackie!

00:48:15 Hurry up there. Pick up your feet. Make a snappy.

00:48:18 Where's Frank? He's always late. Come here, Frank.

00:48:20 Now, then, are we all assembled?

00:48:22 Fourteen seconds. My, Jingo, I knew you could do it.

00:48:25 It's a new world record.

00:48:27 What is it? What's happened?

00:48:28 Yeah, what did you call us for?

00:48:29 I want you to meet a very important lady.

00:48:32 Now, come with me, children. Watch your manners.

00:48:35 Children, this is Mrs. Meebane.

00:48:37 How do you do?

00:48:40 I don't quite understand. Is this a school?

00:48:44 No, it isn't a school.

00:48:46 Then it's... no, oh, no.

00:48:49 Yes, they are.

00:48:50 They are what, ma'am?

00:48:51 They are yours. Don't try to deny it.

00:48:53 I shouldn't think of denying it, ma'am.

00:48:55 Let me introduce the family, at least most of it.

00:48:57 Seems to me there should be some more of them around here somewhere.

00:49:00 Heaven help us.

00:49:01 Lily, how many head of children have we now, would you say, offhand?

00:49:03 Well, the last time I counted them, dear, there seemed to be an even dozen.

00:49:06 A dozen?

00:49:07 I may have missed one or two, but not many.

00:49:09 I say 12 was a pretty fair guess.

00:49:11 Disgusting! And within 18 miles of National Headquarters, too.

00:49:15 Shall we have some tea?

00:49:16 Certainly not. Good day.

00:49:18 Good day, ma'am.

00:49:19 Good day.

00:49:20 It looks to me as though somebody's been pulling my leg.

00:49:23 How revolting!

00:49:24 And within 18 miles of National Headquarters, too.

00:49:28 Our summers we spent at Nantucket, in a cottage in two abandoned lighthouses.

00:49:38 Dad had named it The Shoe in honor of Mother,

00:49:41 who he said reminded him of the old woman who lived in one.

00:49:44 Come on, slowpokes. Last one in is Kaiser Bill.

00:49:50 There you go, young lady.

00:49:52 You boys look out after her.

00:49:54 Come along, Ann Ernstine. There's nothing you can do about it.

00:49:58 You know how your father feels about the primitive life.

00:50:00 Now be good, children.

00:50:01 We will.

00:50:02 Excuse me.

00:50:03 Dad invented this ocean.

00:50:05 Andy, look. Isn't that Tom Black?

00:50:17 It certainly looks like him.

00:50:19 It is. He's the life god.

00:50:22 I can't imagine what he's doing here.

00:50:33 Well, he has to keep him conditioned for swimming somewhere, doesn't he?

00:50:36 Yes, but here, in Nantucket.

00:50:39 Leave your towels here, children.

00:50:43 Air.

00:50:44 Oh, wonderful air.

00:50:46 Oh, now, Frank, please don't overdo it.

00:50:48 You know what Dr. Britton said.

00:50:50 That quack, he can't scare me. My heart's as good as his any day. Better.

00:50:53 But this water's always cold. It's a shock.

00:50:55 A good dip in the ocean never hurt anybody. Hurry up, get your robe off.

00:50:58 Let's go, kids.

00:50:59 Come on, girls.

00:51:01 The sooner we get this over with, the better.

00:51:03 You go on ahead, Mother. We'll be in in just a few minutes.

00:51:06 Don't be long.

00:51:07 We won't.

00:51:09 Why don't we stroll by and speak to him?

00:51:11 Why should we?

00:51:12 Well, after all, we see him at school, don't we?

00:51:15 Yes, we see him, but he doesn't even know I...

00:51:18 We exist.

00:51:19 [singing]

00:51:33 On the beach and on the beach,

00:51:37 [singing]

00:51:47 On the beach at Waikiki.

00:51:51 Blamey you.

00:51:53 Look at her.

00:51:55 [singing]

00:52:02 Hmph. Fine spectacle.

00:52:04 Bobbed hair, rolled stockings, painted knees.

00:52:07 I don't know what's coming over girls today.

00:52:09 Don't they know what's going to happen to them if they go around looking like Jezebels?

00:52:13 Frank, that word's Eskimo.

00:52:15 Jezebels, I said, and Jezebels, I mean.

00:52:18 But, Dad, that's the way everybody dresses today.

00:52:20 Everybody but Ernestine and me. Why, we're... we're freaks.

00:52:24 Freaks or not, you're not going around with bare knees for all the boys to ogle.

00:52:29 Not while I'm alive.

00:52:30 Boys don't ogle when everybody dresses that way.

00:52:32 Don't tell me what boys ogle.

00:52:34 I was young once myself.

00:52:36 I'd hate to tell you what would have happened in my day if girls had dressed like some of these girls do today.

00:52:40 What?

00:52:41 Whatever you mind what.

00:52:43 But, Mother, what's wrong with the way girls dress today?

00:52:47 Is it a crime to try to look as attractive as you can?

00:52:50 That isn't the point, dear.

00:52:52 Men, that is, nice men, don't want to marry girls who make themselves cheap.

00:52:56 They may run around with them before they're married,

00:52:59 but when they settle down, they want someone they can respect.

00:53:02 Well, they certainly respect me.

00:53:04 I'm the most respected girl I know.

00:53:06 Why, they respect me so much, they won't even look at me.

00:53:10 Me either.

00:53:11 That's too bad.

00:53:12 Honestly, Dad, how do you expect us to ever be popular?

00:53:15 Popular. Popular.

00:53:17 That's all I hear.

00:53:18 That's a magic word, isn't it?

00:53:20 That's what's the matter with this generation.

00:53:22 Nobody thinks about being smart or clever.

00:53:24 No, sir. They just want to be popular.

00:53:27 But, Dad, if you'd only be reasonable.

00:53:29 For the last time, no.

00:53:31 I'll not have any fancy women in my family.

00:53:33 If other people want to go to the devil, that's their business,

00:53:36 but you're not going with them. Is that clear?

00:53:38 It ought to be. You've heard it often enough.

00:53:40 Otherwise, you'll find yourself right in that convent.

00:53:42 The one with the 12-foot wall.

00:53:44 Mother, what are we going to do?

00:53:47 Go back and have your swim, dear. I'll talk to your father.

00:53:50 But, Mother...

00:53:51 I know, dear. I understand. Now, you girls run along.

00:53:54 I don't feel like going in, Mother. I'll help you with the table.

00:53:56 All right, dear.

00:53:58 There. I want a package. I can have it.

00:54:00 Give it to me.

00:54:02 No, you don't. Come on and take me if you want it.

00:54:04 It's right there in the glass. I bought it.

00:54:06 You ought to get it.

00:54:07 Andy, button me, will you, please?

00:54:09 Button? That's all I hear from morning till night.

00:54:13 It's Andy button me up or Andy unbutton me.

00:54:16 Oh, you're not mad.

00:54:18 No, but I'm fed up.

00:54:20 Honestly, won't you ever learn to button yourself?

00:54:22 You're pretty when you're mad.

00:54:24 Oh, you little dicken. Go on. Get out of here.

00:54:27 [Music]

00:54:44 [Humming]

00:54:58 [Laughing]

00:55:13 Look out, convent. Here I come.

00:55:16 And I mean the one with the 12-foot wall.

00:55:18 What have you done now?

00:55:19 Nothing. It's what I'm about to do.

00:55:21 And I want you to know I'm not doing this just for myself.

00:55:23 I'm doing it for you and Martha and Mary and Lillian and Jane.

00:55:27 Because I know you'll never be emancipated until I pave the way.

00:55:31 What are you talking about?

00:55:32 Oh, Anne, you're not.

00:55:33 I've got to. Otherwise, we'll all go to our graves old maids.

00:55:36 Still wearing cootie garages over our ears and long drawers.

00:55:39 Oh, but Dad will murder you.

00:55:40 You'll back me up, won't you?

00:55:42 Yes, I will. But who's going to back Dad up?

00:55:44 Someone's got to take a stand somewhere.

00:55:47 And I've made up my mind. I'm going to.

00:55:49 Oh, but Anne.

00:55:50 There.

00:55:51 Oh, no.

00:55:54 What is it, Dad?

00:55:55 What you got?

00:55:56 Now, hold your horses. Keep your shirts on.

00:55:58 You remember I promised you children there'd be no formal studying this summer.

00:56:01 No language lessons or school books.

00:56:04 But I've discovered a way to teach you the Morse code without studying.

00:56:07 Oh, Dad, do we have to?

00:56:08 Not if you don't want to.

00:56:09 But those who don't are going to be sorry.

00:56:11 Yes, indeedy.

00:56:12 I painted the code on the bathroom wall.

00:56:14 The one that faces you.

00:56:15 Now, you don't have to make a project of studying it.

00:56:17 But you'll be surprised how much you'll absorb each day when...

00:56:20 Who's that?

00:56:21 It's a telegram. I'll get it.

00:56:23 It's all right, Frank. It's probably for me. I'll go.

00:56:25 Hold that.

00:56:26 Let me see it.

00:56:27 I will. Just a minute.

00:56:28 Does it work?

00:56:29 Of course it works.

00:56:30 Botham, will you call Anne and her team, please?

00:56:32 Yes, sir.

00:56:37 There you are.

00:56:38 Thank you, Jed.

00:56:39 No bother. How's the family?

00:56:41 Couldn't be better. Couldn't be better.

00:56:43 Good. Glad to see you back, Mr. Gilbert.

00:56:44 Thank you very much.

00:56:45 Good seeing you.

00:56:46 Bye.

00:56:54 What is it, dear?

00:56:56 A cable from Blenheim in Prague.

00:56:59 It seems the management conference program is filled without me.

00:57:03 Oh, Frank, really?

00:57:05 Blenheim says he's still working, but for me not to count on it.

00:57:09 He's trying to let me down easy, but I gather there's a general lack of interest.

00:57:13 I'm sorry, dear. But don't be too disappointed. There'll be other conferences.

00:57:17 I suppose I was counting on it too much, Lily, but...

00:57:21 Ah, no use crying over spilt milk.

00:57:24 You go ahead with dinner. I'll be right in.

00:57:26 All right, dear.

00:57:30 Hey, see what you've done?

00:57:32 It's just a string.

00:57:34 You're awful, dear.

00:57:35 You'd better before Daddy sees you.

00:57:37 There. Now it's all right.

00:57:39 Let me work it.

00:57:40 Wait a minute.

00:57:41 Leave that alone now, children. Sit down.

00:57:44 Come along.

00:57:47 I'll take those tomorrow.

00:57:52 Leave me alone.

00:57:55 Where's Anne?

00:57:56 She's coming up, Mother.

00:57:58 Come along, dear. We're...

00:58:01 Anne, what have you done? Look at yourself.

00:58:03 I have looked at myself, Mother.

00:58:05 Please don't ask me to look again. I don't want to spoil my appetite.

00:58:08 But your hair, your beautiful hair.

00:58:10 What's the matter with her hair?

00:58:13 Take that ridiculous wig off.

00:58:14 It's not a wig. I've cut my hair.

00:58:16 You've what?

00:58:17 You can kill me if you want to, but I've done it.

00:58:19 I think it looks snaky, Dad. Besides, it's ever so much more efficient.

00:58:22 I'll bet she can fix her hair now in 15 seconds.

00:58:25 Fix what hair? She hasn't any hair left to fix.

00:58:27 Oh, Anne, how could you do this to yourself?

00:58:29 To herself? How could you do it to an Airedale?

00:58:31 Well, I won't have it. I want it grown back in. I want it grown back fast.

00:58:34 I'm not going to grow it back. I don't care what you say. I'm sick of being afraid.

00:58:38 Anne, come back here, Anne.

00:58:39 Let her go, dear.

00:58:41 After all, it isn't such a tragedy. All the girls her age are bobbing their hair now.

00:58:45 But I distinctly told her...

00:58:46 But you forget, she's growing up. She's no longer a child.

00:58:49 She has to make some decisions for herself.

00:58:51 Nevertheless, I'm not going to have her define me. I'll...

00:58:53 Miss Frank, come and have your dinner. I'll talk to her later after we've both had time to think this over.

00:58:57 But, Lily, if we stop letting the children do as they please around here...

00:58:59 Be here. For my sake.

00:59:02 Well, all right, Lily, but...

00:59:05 By the time vacation was over and we were on our way back to Montclair, Dad was reconciled.

00:59:18 My bobbed hair had been a bitter pill for him to swallow, but like all fathers, from the beginning of time, he gulped and swallowed it.

00:59:26 What's that?

00:59:41 Oh, hello, Daddy. Come on in.

00:59:44 You might as well know the worst. I bought these with my own money and I'm going to wear them.

00:59:49 Oh, no, you're not. You're going to take them right back where you got them.

00:59:52 It'd embarrass me even to look at them.

00:59:54 Oh, but, Dad...

00:59:55 Do you mean to tell me this is all the underwear women put on nowadays?

00:59:59 But they don't show. Oh, besides, Dad, everybody wears them now.

01:00:02 Why, if you don't believe me, you can come and see for yourself.

01:00:04 That won't be necessary.

01:00:06 Oh, Daddy, please be sensible. You don't really mean I have to take them back, do you, Dad?

01:00:13 Do you?

01:00:15 Well, all right. But no silk stockings and high-heeled shoes.

01:00:20 I'm not going to have a lot of doctor bills because of foot trouble.

01:00:22 Oh, thank you, Dad. And while we're both in the mood, you might as well know it's a little late for that now.

01:00:27 I've been wearing them ever since we came home from Nantucket.

01:00:30 Now, Ann...

01:00:31 Andy! Andy, careful! It's a boy, Polly!

01:00:34 A boy? Excuse me, Dad.

01:00:37 Come back here. I'm not saying you can wear those things.

01:00:40 Better hurry up before he gets away.

01:00:42 What do you suppose it is?

01:00:43 Yeah, who could be calling you?

01:00:45 Shut up.

01:00:48 Hello? Oh, hello, Joe. Fine, thank you.

01:00:53 What? Oh, I'd love to.

01:00:57 You will? Eight o'clock? Oh, that would be simply wonderful.

01:01:01 Thank you for calling. Goodbye.

01:01:03 Oh, you see, Dad, I told you if I started dressing like the other girls, everything would be all right.

01:01:08 Who was it, dear?

01:01:09 Oh, that was Joe Scales. He asked me to go to the senior prom with him Friday night. It's the dance of the year.

01:01:14 Why, how lovely, dear. I'm so glad.

01:01:16 Who's Joe Scales? Is he nice?

01:01:18 Well, he comes from an awfully nice family, and he's the cheerleader. He's got his own car, too.

01:01:23 Two mighty fine recommendations. What about a raccoon coat?

01:01:26 Oh, he'll probably get that next year when he goes to college.

01:01:29 Gee!

01:01:30 Come on, I've got to decide what I'm going to wear. It's formal.

01:01:33 Just a minute. Friday night, you say?

01:01:36 Yes.

01:01:37 Let me see. Yes, that's all right. I can make it.

01:01:40 You can make what?

01:01:42 The dance, of course. You didn't think I was going to let you go out by yourself with a cheerleader, did you?

01:01:46 Oh, Daddy, you wouldn't spoil everything by doing anything like that, would you? What will he think of me?

01:01:51 That you're a sensible, well-brought-up child with sensible parents.

01:01:54 Honestly, Dad, don't you trust your own flesh and blood?

01:01:57 Of course I trust you. I trust all my daughters. It's that cheerleader I don't trust.

01:02:01 Oh, no.

01:02:03 Now, make up your mind to it. Either I go or you don't.

01:02:06 Well, shall I tell him we'll go in his car or ours?

01:02:09 His car? Oh, I should say not.

01:02:12 I haven't seen it, but I can imagine what it's like.

01:02:14 We'll go in Foley's carriage.

01:02:16 Come on, darling.

01:02:18 When you and the others start going out, I just hope you appreciate what I've had to suffer for you.

01:02:26 [car engine]

01:02:29 [car horn]

01:02:39 [car horn]

01:02:43 Come on in, Joe.

01:02:49 Okay, baby.

01:02:53 Is your pop ready?

01:02:55 Great Caesar's ghost, Lily. It's Joe College in the flesh.

01:02:58 And if he pops me once more, I'll pop him right back.

01:03:00 Shh, dear. I think he's kind of cute in the best pocket way.

01:03:03 Cute?

01:03:05 Looks like what might happen if a pygmy married a bobtail penguin.

01:03:09 And look at that car.

01:03:11 Well, don't worry. You'll be riding in yours, not that contraption.

01:03:14 Thank heavens for small favors. I'd better bring foolish carriage around.

01:03:18 Come on, Joe. Come on.

01:03:21 Boy, oh, boy.

01:03:23 You look good enough to eat. And I bet you do. Get it?

01:03:26 [laughing]

01:03:27 I bet you do eat. [laughing]

01:03:30 Why don't you come in, Joe? I'd like you to meet my family.

01:03:33 Well, sure, baby. It'll be a pleasure.

01:03:35 Now you children, behave yourselves.

01:03:40 Mother, this is Mr. Scales.

01:03:42 Good evening, Mr. Scales.

01:03:44 How are you, Mrs. Gilbert?

01:03:45 I'm fine, thank you. And these are Anne's brothers and sisters.

01:03:48 How are you, gang?

01:03:49 Hi.

01:03:50 Hey, this is quite a family.

01:03:52 Yes. Will you excuse me, please, while I get my wrap?

01:03:54 Sure, baby. On the double quick, huh?

01:03:56 Won't you sit down, Mr. Scales?

01:03:59 No, thanks. I'd rather stand. We'll only be a minute.

01:04:01 Well, just make yourself at home.

01:04:03 Sure, thanks.

01:04:04 What's new, kids?

01:04:06 Nothing.

01:04:07 Did you ever see a William Tell tie?

01:04:09 Uh-uh.

01:04:10 You didn't, huh?

01:04:11 Well, you pull the ball, and it hits the apple. Get it?

01:04:14 It hits the apple. The Addams apple. See?

01:04:17 [laughing]

01:04:18 You're the first cheerleader we ever saw up close.

01:04:20 Yeah?

01:04:21 How about showing us how you do a yell?

01:04:23 Andy and Ern taught most of them to us.

01:04:25 I don't mind if I do.

01:04:26 Hey, do you know the old Montclair high rah?

01:04:28 Sure, we know that one.

01:04:29 Well, okay, fellas. Let's hit it.

01:04:31 Let me get rid of my hat.

01:04:32 I want to hear you holler now. Get me?

01:04:33 Yeah.

01:04:34 Okay, now. Ready?

01:04:35 Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah!

01:04:39 Rah! Rah! Montclair! Rah! Rah! Montclair!

01:04:42 Hoo-rah! Hoo-rah!

01:04:44 Oh, you Montclair!

01:04:47 Gee, I wish I could be a cheerleader.

01:04:49 How do you get to be one?

01:04:50 You gotta get elected.

01:04:51 Yeah, but don't you have to practice?

01:04:53 I don't know. It just comes natural.

01:04:55 The car won't start. What'll I do?

01:04:57 Go in his car.

01:04:59 Do I look like a chicken waiting for a place to roost?

01:05:01 He really isn't very big, Frank.

01:05:03 I don't think anything will happen to Ann.

01:05:05 Maybe if you warn her to come home early.

01:05:07 No, I said I was going, and I am.

01:05:08 Even if it has to be in that insane Calliope.

01:05:11 Daddy, have you met Joe?

01:05:13 Uh, not yet, I haven't.

01:05:14 Excuse me, kids.

01:05:15 All set, huh?

01:05:16 Mighty fancy, I'll say.

01:05:18 Joe, this is my father, Mr. Gilbreth.

01:05:21 Pleased to meet you, Mr. Gilbreth.

01:05:22 Good evening, young man.

01:05:24 I, uh, hear you kind of go in for this time-saving racket.

01:05:26 I manage to make a fair living at it.

01:05:28 Well, I got a few ideas I'd sure like to talk to you about sometime.

01:05:31 That would be a great pleasure.

01:05:32 Uh, Joe, we're sort of late. Don't you think we ought to go?

01:05:34 Well, okay, baby. Let's shake that thing.

01:05:36 Good night, gang.

01:05:37 Good night, Mrs. Gilbreth.

01:05:38 Good night, Mr. Scales.

01:05:40 Have a good time, dear.

01:05:42 We will, mother.

01:05:43 I know it's not your fault, Lily.

01:05:45 But things would have been a whole lot easier if you'd taken my advice and had all boys.

01:05:49 I'm sorry, dear.

01:05:50 I'll try to be more careful with the next dozen.

01:05:53 Boy, is that a car.

01:05:55 I bet you can do 50 in it.

01:05:57 What's so wonderful about that? 50's not so fast.

01:05:59 Yeah, well, I'd like to see you do it, fatty.

01:06:01 You shut up.

01:06:02 Shh.

01:06:03 Shut up and sit down.

01:06:04 Good night, mother.

01:06:06 Good night, dear.

01:06:07 I was about to let an old rumble seed pop.

01:06:09 You know the old saying, "To his company."

01:06:11 I'm well acquainted with that expression, young man.

01:06:14 You all right, dad?

01:06:17 Dandy.

01:06:18 Now, if you'll be good enough to keep it down to a dull roar, let's go.

01:06:21 Right.

01:06:22 Special livery for Mr. Frank Gilbreth.

01:06:36 I'll sign for it.

01:06:37 Thank you.

01:06:38 Good night.

01:06:39 Good night.

01:06:40 Who's it from?

01:06:44 It's postmarked Prague.

01:06:46 Mother, it's the invitation.

01:06:48 Oh, I hope so.

01:06:49 Go on, mother, open it.

01:06:50 You know dad would want you to.

01:06:52 Yes, go on.

01:06:53 But I hate to open anyone else's mail.

01:06:55 But this is different.

01:06:56 Yes, I suppose he wouldn't really mind.

01:06:58 Of course he wouldn't.

01:07:04 "Dear Gilbreth, the board of directors of the International Management Conference have voted unanimously to extend to you an invitation to speak at their forthcoming meeting in Prague."

01:07:18 Oh, mother.

01:07:19 "At the same time, I am reliably informed a similar invitation will be extended to you to address the World Power Conference in London."

01:07:26 Blenheim.

01:07:27 Gee, and dad just missed it.

01:07:29 I wish I could get this to him somehow.

01:07:31 Couldn't you telephone him?

01:07:32 There's no telephone in the gym.

01:07:34 Frank, you hop on your bicycle and run down there and give it to him.

01:07:37 Okay, mother, sure.

01:07:38 That's a good boy.

01:07:39 Wouldn't you give anything to see daddy's face when he reads it?

01:07:43 Yes, dear, anything.

01:07:45 But unfortunately, I can't ride a bicycle.

01:07:48 Hiya, Joe.

01:07:59 Hiya, Ann.

01:08:00 Hiya, fellas.

01:08:01 Here you are, sonny boy.

01:08:02 What held you two up so long? Kind of early to start necking at it.

01:08:05 Shh, ex-lay, ex-lay.

01:08:06 Oh, excuse me, sir.

01:08:07 Hiya, Ann.

01:08:09 Hiya, Joe.

01:08:10 Gee, it's her father.

01:08:15 What's he doing here?

01:08:16 Chaperoning Ann, isn't it a scream?

01:08:18 The way that cookie's looking tonight, she needs chaperoning.

01:08:21 Hiya, Joe.

01:08:30 Hiya, fellas.

01:08:31 Where'd you get the hand me down?

01:08:32 Take it easy. Don't lose the material.

01:08:34 Hey, Joe, who's the third wheel?

01:08:36 Yeah, you said it. The third wheel is right.

01:08:38 You see, dad, everybody's talking.

01:08:40 I don't know why boys even bother with me.

01:08:42 Well, I know if you don't.

01:08:44 That's exactly why I'm here.

01:08:45 Don't you sort of feel like, like what they said, a third wheel?

01:08:49 Yes, that's what I'm going to keep on being.

01:08:51 I might not be able to put up with some of these fool backs,

01:08:54 but if I see any of them start taking liberties,

01:08:56 at least I'll be able to run for help.

01:08:59 All set, baby?

01:09:00 Come on, let's give it to your old hips.

01:09:02 So long, Pop. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

01:09:04 Pop, sure.

01:09:08 Lipstick, honey?

01:09:16 No, thanks.

01:09:17 Do me a favor, will you, sugar?

01:09:19 Look at my bag and hand me my perfume.

01:09:21 Sure, Debbie.

01:09:22 Oh, what a darling bottle.

01:09:24 Well, go ahead, help yourself.

01:09:26 Well, I don't think I should. I never use perfume.

01:09:28 You don't?

01:09:29 I'd simply die before I go out without my perfume on.

01:09:32 I'd feel positively naked.

01:09:34 Go on, put a little behind your ear.

01:09:36 Well, maybe just a dab won't matter.

01:09:39 Oh, it's wonderful, Debbie.

01:09:41 Little old boy I met in New Haven's little zoo.

01:09:43 You know something, honey?

01:09:45 I've just got to meet your daddy.

01:09:46 I think he's so cute.

01:09:48 All the girls at school do.

01:09:49 I could just eat him up.

01:09:51 That's nice, but he's kind of old-fashioned, you know.

01:09:54 Then I'll just adore him,

01:09:55 because I'm awfully old-fashioned myself, too.

01:09:57 Maybe it's because I was born in Mississippi.

01:09:59 You've just got to be old-fashioned to be born in Mississippi.

01:10:02 But you will be careful, won't you, Debbie,

01:10:04 about the perfume and lipstick and everything?

01:10:06 Don't you worry, honey.

01:10:07 My daddy's the same way.

01:10:08 Always carrying on about me.

01:10:10 But I notice he doesn't carry on when it's someone else's daughter.

01:10:14 Dad?

01:10:25 Oh, Ann.

01:10:27 Dad, I'd like you to meet one of my very dearest friends,

01:10:30 Deborah Lancaster.

01:10:31 She's from Mississippi.

01:10:32 How do you do?

01:10:33 I've just been dying to get somebody to introduce me, Mr. Gilbert.

01:10:36 I've been hoping to meet you ever since you started visiting our school.

01:10:39 Is that so?

01:10:40 Well, I'm delighted, delighted.

01:10:43 So you're from Mississippi, are you?

01:10:45 Yes.

01:10:46 I'm just a little old fugitive from a plantation.

01:10:48 Pardon me.

01:10:50 Oh, Debbie.

01:10:51 Hello, honey.

01:10:52 Dad, this is Tom Blass.

01:10:54 How do you do?

01:10:55 How are you, Mr. Gilbert?

01:10:56 I'm very well, thank you, young man.

01:10:58 At least I was.

01:11:00 I'm sorry.

01:11:01 How about a dance?

01:11:02 You mind, Dad?

01:11:03 Not at all.

01:11:04 I'm sure this young lady and I will have a very pleasant time.

01:11:06 We won't be long.

01:11:07 Hey, what have you done to yourself?

01:11:10 Nothing.

01:11:11 What do you mean?

01:11:12 You didn't look like this in Nantucket last summer, baby.

01:11:14 How would you know what I look like?

01:11:15 Why, you never even noticed.

01:11:16 Well, I'm noticing you now, and I mean.

01:11:23 Now, if you'd rather be out there dancing, young lady, don't let me detain you.

01:11:26 Oh, no, Mr. Gilbert.

01:11:27 I'd much rather sit this one out with you.

01:11:29 Ann tells me you've just been revolutionizing industry.

01:11:32 Just saving millions of dollars in time and things.

01:11:35 Jingle, that smells good.

01:11:38 You like it?

01:11:39 Little old boy from New Haven sent it to me.

01:11:41 But I mean, what does anybody want to save all that time for, Mr. Gilbert?

01:11:45 Well, maybe for one thing.

01:11:47 So as to be able to sit here and talk to a pretty little lady like you.

01:11:51 Why, I declare.

01:11:53 Ann didn't tell me she had such a gallant daddy.

01:11:56 And so good-looking, too.

01:11:58 Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say that.

01:12:00 You'd be surprised at some of the things other girls are saying about you.

01:12:03 Why, they're only hoping you'll come to all our dances from now on.

01:12:06 Is that so?

01:12:07 Well, if I'd known that, I'd have started coming sooner.

01:12:10 They're just going to hate me if they don't get to meet you, too.

01:12:14 Do you mind?

01:12:15 Oh, no, no, of course not.

01:12:16 Bring them over, as many as you like.

01:12:18 Oh, thank you, sugar.

01:12:19 I mean, excuse me, Mr. Gilbert.

01:12:22 Now, don't you go away, you hear me?

01:12:23 I'll be right back.

01:12:25 How about some punch?

01:12:42 Oh, I'd love some.

01:12:44 Say, your old man sure is swell.

01:12:46 Oh, Dad's really sweet.

01:12:48 Believe me, you've got to hand it to him coming here like this just to look after you.

01:12:51 I'm trying to get him not to, but...

01:12:53 I get it.

01:12:55 Excuse me, Mike.

01:12:56 Sure, Tom.

01:12:57 Hope you like pineapples.

01:13:00 I do.

01:13:02 I mean, where are you going to find fathers like yours today?

01:13:04 Sure bet you're proud of them.

01:13:06 Proud of him?

01:13:07 Believe me, if I ever have a daughter, I'm sure going to watch after her.

01:13:10 You're not going to catch me letting her run around by herself with a lot of guys.

01:13:13 You know, trying to act funny.

01:13:15 You are?

01:13:16 I'll say not.

01:13:17 You wouldn't catch me marrying anybody whose folks let her act like that either.

01:13:20 You wouldn't?

01:13:21 A fella likes to run around with a maybe, you know, just for a good time before he gets married, but...

01:13:25 when it comes to settling down, none of these flappers for me.

01:13:28 I want a girl I can respect.

01:13:30 Boy, that's funny.

01:13:31 That's what my mother says.

01:13:33 Then believe me, baby, she's right.

01:13:35 I've been around and I know.

01:13:37 Well, of course, it does make a girl feel awfully good to know that her parents care what she does.

01:13:42 Sure makes you stop and think, all right.

01:13:44 An important man like Mr. Gilbert sitting in there all by himself.

01:13:47 Not even dancing.

01:13:48 Just watching.

01:13:50 I was just about to ask him to dance when you came over.

01:13:53 Yeah?

01:13:54 Well, come on.

01:13:55 I guess I can spare one dance.

01:13:56 But just one, you understand.

01:13:58 The rest are mine.

01:13:59 What about Joe Scales?

01:14:00 That wet smack.

01:14:01 Well, after all, he is my date.

01:14:02 What am I going to do with him?

01:14:04 Throw him back, baby.

01:14:05 He's too small to keep anyhow.

01:14:07 Look!

01:14:14 [music]

01:14:16 I can't believe it.

01:14:29 Well, what do you know?

01:14:30 Say, not bad either.

01:14:32 Come on, let's dance.

01:14:33 Now, wait a minute.

01:14:34 I have an idea.

01:14:35 Something tremendous has happened.

01:14:37 Yeah? What?

01:14:38 Oh, you wouldn't understand.

01:14:39 Only I guess it's my salvation.

01:14:41 I don't get it.

01:14:42 Too deep for me.

01:14:43 I'll tell you someday.

01:14:44 Excuse me.

01:14:45 Excuse me.

01:14:48 Excuse me, Dad.

01:14:50 May I cut in, please?

01:14:51 Oh, certainly, Anne.

01:14:52 I just love dancing with you, Mr. Gilbert.

01:14:54 Thank you, young lady.

01:14:55 Well, I hope you haven't been too lonely, Dad.

01:14:58 Oh, no, I've managed.

01:14:59 Funny.

01:15:01 I didn't know you could dance.

01:15:02 Hm.

01:15:03 There's lots of things you don't know, young lady.

01:15:05 Maybe you ought to congratulate me.

01:15:06 What for?

01:15:07 Well, after all, it isn't every girl in Montclair High

01:15:09 whose father can be the belle of the ball.

01:15:11 I just want to show these friends of yours

01:15:13 they're not the only ones who can dance.

01:15:15 Your mother and I...

01:15:16 Okay, Dad, I understand.

01:15:17 Now, let's be honest.

01:15:18 They're not really bad kids, are they?

01:15:20 I suppose they're all right, after their fashion.

01:15:23 And you're not really going to tag along with me

01:15:25 every time I go out, are you?

01:15:26 We'll decide that when I get back.

01:15:28 After all, I won't be able to tag along while I'm in Europe.

01:15:31 In Europe?

01:15:32 But I thought you weren't going to Europe.

01:15:33 Oh, yes, I'm going to speak in London as well as in Prague.

01:15:35 When did you find out?

01:15:36 The invitation just came.

01:15:37 Your mother sent it over by Frank.

01:15:39 Oh, Dad, it's wonderful!

01:15:41 Now, Ann, dear Ann, don't get emotional.

01:15:43 If you're going to toddle with me, my jingle, let's toddle.

01:15:46 Okay, Dad, let's go!

01:15:48 Thank you.

01:16:06 Thank you.

01:16:08 Are you sure you have everything, dear?

01:16:26 I think so.

01:16:27 Both your speeches?

01:16:28 Right here in my briefcase.

01:16:30 How about your pills?

01:16:31 Enough to last a lifetime.

01:16:33 You'd better hurry, then.

01:16:34 You're having much time.

01:16:35 I'll be right with you.

01:16:37 Ann, Ernestine, come along, girls.

01:16:41 Your father's ready to leave.

01:16:42 We're coming!

01:16:43 Frank, you'd better take his suitcases.

01:16:45 Yes, ma'am.

01:16:46 Mother, why can't we go to the station with Daddy?

01:16:48 Yeah, I want to see the train.

01:16:50 When I get back, I'll show you lots of trains.

01:16:52 But I don't intend to start off to Europe wringing wet with tears.

01:16:55 You know how I feel about goodbyes.

01:16:57 Dad?

01:16:58 Yes?

01:16:59 Here's a little something for you, but be sure you don't open it until you get on the boat.

01:17:02 More socks?

01:17:03 Whose idea was it for me to learn to knit in the first place?

01:17:06 Okay, I plead guilty.

01:17:08 Thank you, dear.

01:17:09 Well, I'd better get started.

01:17:11 Trains don't wait, you know.

01:17:12 Come on, kids, let's go.

01:17:14 Come along, children.

01:17:16 Now, don't you forget to send us postcards from England and Czechoslovakia, Dad.

01:17:20 It won't hurt you kids to write me now, men, either.

01:17:22 I don't see why we never get to go on a boat to Europe.

01:17:25 After all, Dad, you know they come cheaper by the dozen.

01:17:27 Ah, nafreskamos.

01:17:29 I'll leave the car at the garage downtown, Lily.

01:17:32 This darn carburetor is acting funny again.

01:17:35 They'll send it back.

01:17:36 Yes, dear.

01:17:37 Well, goodbye, dear.

01:17:40 Goodbye, Frank.

01:17:42 Take good care of yourself.

01:17:43 Don't worry about me.

01:17:44 And if anything comes up and you need me, you know where to cable me.

01:17:47 I'll take care of the work here.

01:17:49 You just forget it and enjoy yourself.

01:17:51 I will.

01:17:52 Come here, young lady.

01:17:56 You gonna be a good little girl and eat your spinach for Daddy while I'm gone, huh?

01:18:00 I'll make you big and strong.

01:18:02 And that goes for you, too.

01:18:04 Goodbye, Lily.

01:18:05 Goodbye.

01:18:06 Goodbye, girls.

01:18:07 Goodbye, Daddy.

01:18:08 Goodbye, dear.

01:18:09 I'll miss you.

01:18:10 Goodbye, dear.

01:18:11 I'll miss you.

01:18:12 Never mind about you three.

01:18:14 You two behave yourselves.

01:18:15 Do what your mother tells you.

01:18:16 I'll be back in a couple of months.

01:18:18 Goodbye, Mr. Chairman.

01:18:19 I guess I can count on you to keep the bed warm while I'm gone.

01:18:22 Ha, ha, ha.

01:18:23 Mighty fine dog.

01:18:25 Goodbye, Dad.

01:18:26 I'm gonna miss you so much.

01:18:28 A little more attention to books, young lady, and a little less to that swimming champion,

01:18:31 and you'll stand a better chance getting into college, you understand?

01:18:33 Oh, we're kind of dead.

01:18:34 That's my girl.

01:18:35 Lily?

01:18:36 Goodbye, dear.

01:18:37 Goodbye, dear.

01:18:38 Have a good time.

01:18:39 I'll try.

01:18:40 Bring us some souvenirs, Dad.

01:18:41 Goodbye.

01:18:42 Goodbye.

01:18:43 Take care of your mother.

01:18:44 We will.

01:18:45 Don't forget your wife.

01:18:46 Bye, Dad.

01:18:47 Goodbye.

01:18:48 Goodbye.

01:18:49 Goodbye.

01:18:50 Goodbye.

01:18:51 - Bye! - Bye!

01:18:53 (phone ringing)

01:18:56 - Hello?

01:19:07 Oh, hello, Dad.

01:19:08 Hey, where are you?

01:19:09 Yes, sir, she's upstairs.

01:19:12 Oh, okay, I'll call her.

01:19:14 Hey, Mother!

01:19:15 - Yes?

01:19:16 - Dad's on the phone.

01:19:17 He forgot something.

01:19:18 He wants to talk to you.

01:19:19 - I'll be right down.

01:19:20 - Okay.

01:19:21 - She's coming, Dad.

01:19:22 Have a good time now.

01:19:24 - Yes, sir, I will.

01:19:25 - Goodbye.

01:19:26 - He's at the Montclair Station.

01:19:29 - Thank you, dear.

01:19:30 Don't be late for lunch.

01:19:31 - I won't.

01:19:32 - Hello, Frank.

01:19:35 Hello?

01:19:37 Hello?

01:19:39 Hello, Frank?

01:19:41 Operator.

01:19:45 Operator, are we still connected?

01:19:50 Well, that's funny.

01:19:51 No one answers.

01:19:52 Hello?

01:19:55 Hello?

01:19:56 Frank?

01:19:58 Frank!

01:20:02 - Ann?

01:20:13 Oh, hello, Mrs. Danvers.

01:20:14 - Your mother wants you to come home to us right away.

01:20:16 - What is it?

01:20:17 What's happened?

01:20:18 - Your father was taken ill at the station.

01:20:19 - Oh, I'm afraid it's his heart.

01:20:21 - Was he, is it bad?

01:20:23 - I don't know how bad, dear.

01:20:24 Mrs. Monaghan just said that you were shopping

01:20:26 and asked me to find you.

01:20:27 Frank's playing ball.

01:20:28 You know where he'd be?

01:20:29 - On the school grounds, I guess.

01:20:30 - Yes, I said I'd pick him up, too.

01:20:31 Come on, let's go.

01:20:32 You children better go on in.

01:20:48 I'll park in my driveway.

01:20:49 - Oh, how is he, Mrs. Monaghan?

01:21:05 - Oh, Andy, our daddy's dead.

01:21:09 (crying)

01:21:11 (whimpering)

01:21:13 - Sit down, children.

01:21:35 (footsteps)

01:21:37 I've called you older children together

01:21:48 because I think you ought to know the situation.

01:21:51 There isn't going to be a great deal of money.

01:21:53 Most of it's had to go back into your father's business.

01:21:56 I talked by telephone to your grandmother in California,

01:22:00 and naturally, she wants all of us

01:22:02 to move out there and live with her.

01:22:03 - If it's a matter of money, mother,

01:22:05 I plan not to go to college anyway.

01:22:07 I'll get a job.

01:22:07 - I don't want to go to college either, mother.

01:22:09 - Now, please wait until I'm finished.

01:22:12 There's an alternative, but it hinges on your being able

01:22:14 to take care of yourselves,

01:22:16 and it will involve sacrifices from all of us.

01:22:19 I want you to make the decision.

01:22:21 I can go on with your father's work,

01:22:23 keep the office open,

01:22:24 and that will mean that we can keep the house.

01:22:27 We'll have to let Mrs. Monaghan go and live very simply.

01:22:30 - We couldn't let Jim Bracken go, could we?

01:22:33 - Oh, he wouldn't go anyway.

01:22:34 - No, I think we can manage with Jim.

01:22:37 And if things work out the way I think they will, Anne,

01:22:41 you can go to college later on, too.

01:22:43 You know your father wanted all of you to go to college.

01:22:45 - Oh, don't worry about that, mother.

01:22:48 - Do you want to try it?

01:22:49 Can you run the house and look after things

01:22:51 until I get back?

01:22:52 - Get back from where, mother?

01:22:54 - I'm going to Europe.

01:22:55 I'm going to give those speeches

01:22:57 for your father in London and Prague.

01:22:59 We all know how much they meant to him,

01:23:01 and I'm sure that's the way he would want it.

01:23:04 But as I say, the final decision is up to you.

01:23:09 - Oh, mother, you don't have to ask us.

01:23:11 Well, you know we'll do anything

01:23:12 as long as we can stay together.

01:23:14 - Thank you, dear.

01:23:15 I knew that's the way you'd feel about it.

01:23:17 - Well, since I'm going to be planning the meals

01:23:21 from now on, I guess I'd better get started.

01:23:24 I'll go over everything with Mrs. Monaghan.

01:23:25 - Yes, dear.

01:23:26 - And I'll see the house is kept nicely, mother,

01:23:28 just the way you like it.

01:23:30 - Of course. - And I'll help you.

01:23:31 - We all will.

01:23:32 - Thank you, girls.

01:23:33 - Me too, mother.

01:23:34 - Maybe Bill and I better go down

01:23:40 and see some used car dealers

01:23:41 about selling the automobile, mother.

01:23:43 - You'd better tell him to bring a tow car.

01:23:47 You know foolish Gary's never starts for anyone but daddy.

01:23:50 - Yeah, and sometimes it wouldn't even start for him.

01:23:52 I'll do all the errands, mother, and help Jim.

01:23:56 He's getting pretty old.

01:23:57 - That's right.

01:23:58 (sighs)

01:24:00 - Well, son?

01:24:05 - Yes, mother?

01:24:06 - From now on, you'll have to be the man of the family.

01:24:11 - Sure, mother.

01:24:12 We'll handle things, and we'll do a good job too.

01:24:15 You wait and see.

01:24:17 - Yes, son.

01:24:18 I know you will.

01:24:22 - Anyhow, that's one man's opinion.

01:24:26 (sighs)

01:24:28 (somber music)

01:24:38 (laughs)

01:24:40 (somber music)

01:24:43 (somber music)

01:24:46 (somber music)

01:25:15 - Yes, dad, Gilbreth and company will go on.

01:25:18 Mother and your even dozen will see to that.

01:25:21 Mother will go to Europe, and you'll be proud

01:25:24 of the way she delivers those speeches for you.

01:25:26 And she'll go right on, following in your footsteps

01:25:33 to become the foremost woman industrial engineer

01:25:35 in the world, and by 1948, America's Woman of the Year.

01:25:41 But wherever you are, dad, somehow I'm sure you know that,

01:25:46 and never doubted it for a moment.

01:25:49 (dramatic music)

01:25:52 (dramatic music)

01:25:54 (dramatic music)

01:25:57 (dramatic music)

01:26:00 you

Cheaper by the Dozen (1950) Full Movie | Clifton Webb, Jeanne Crain, Myrna Loy

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