10 Most Unreliable Video Game Companions Ever
Sometimes it feels like it'd be much easier to go it alone...
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00:00When the odds are stacked against you in a video game, you really want somebody reliable in your
00:04corner. Someone to carry your burdens, even the score, and help you live another day.
00:09For every Marcus, there's a Dom. For every Ratchet, his Clank. Sadly though,
00:13not every pairing shares that special connection. Players need someone who's got their back in a
00:18firefight, not standing in front of them playing catch-eat-shop with their face.
00:22Whether it be down to some misread programming, or just good intentions gone wrong,
00:27companions can sometimes be more hindrance than help.
00:30I'm Jess from WhatCulture, and here are the 10 most unreliable video game companions ever.
00:36Number 10. Aery. Bravely Default.
00:39Fairies or some kind of pixie companion that joins you on your journey feel like part of the
00:44framework for a lot of eastern RPGs. I could list examples, but chances are you've already
00:49thought of one. You know, the annoying squeaky voice companions that get more insufferable as
00:53time goes on, much like Navi from Ocarina of Time. When it comes to Aery from 3DS hit Bravely
01:00Default, however, she's not just an unreliable companion, she's also an unreliable narrator.
01:06In short, the fairy guides players to light crystal pillars throughout the land,
01:10apparently saving the world. Yet, this creates a sort of parallel world
01:15slash time loop scenario, bringing you no closer to saving the proverbial day.
01:20Across the parallel worlds and as time goes on, characters will start to hint that the little
01:25fairy may not be all she appears, which becomes apparent when our heroes break the cycle and a
01:31crystal, halting the schemes of Aery's master Ouroboros. She's far from a sweet and innocent
01:37fairy when that happens, revealing her true nature in shocking form. Even the title screen
01:43alludes to this deception as time goes on, if players aren't getting it.
01:47Number 9. Any Survivor. Dead Rising.
01:50Frank West may have covered wars, you know, but nothing could prepare him for this.
01:54Not the zombie outbreak, he handles that quite well, surprisingly.
01:58No, I refer to the arduous task of making sure the people that he rescues actually make it to
02:03the rescue point. Now, it'd be fair to think that someone in need of rescuing would adhere
02:08to their saviour and follow their commands. Alright, some disarray and panic may ensue,
02:13yet in Dead Rising, where Frank can yell, follow me, and some will indeed follow,
02:18not all will. Some players might think, right, let's arm them, give them a fighting chance,
02:23whilst they follow Frank. Turns out that's an even worse idea, as for some reason, a plank of wood
02:28turns them into a would-be cone in The Barbarian, with about the self-preservation instinct of a
02:33lemming. Like unsupervised kids in a playpen, taking your eyes off what a survivor's doing
02:38is lethal. Lose that focus and you'll be seeing, Sophie has died, before you know it.
02:44At least the Pied Piper had it easy, the rats didn't mutiny or refuse to follow him to apparent
02:49safety. Number 8, Tails. Sonic 3 slash Sonic and Knuckles. In terms of companionship throughout
02:56the ages, Tails has proven most of his worth behind the scenes. The two-tailed tinkerer of
03:01a fox has helped Sonic and friends with aircrafts and ingenuity. It's when he's in the fray that he
03:07becomes a right little sh**. Sonic the Hedgehog games are largely about precision platforming,
03:13not to the controller-crushing degree of Super Meat Boy, but it can be tricky enough in places
03:18that demand attention. So imagine the dismay on players' faces when you're soaring through the
03:22air, having nailed the timing, and Tails plucks you out of thin air in a vain attempt at helping.
03:28It kills the trajectory of the jump, and if you try to jump again, you may end up plummeting to
03:33your death. There's also the occasions when the AI fox hits a switch at the wrong time, resulting in
03:38a hedgehog pancake because Tails has gone on without you. When a friend is playing, it's not
03:43so bad as you can coordinate, but much like another example later on, when the AI is in charge, all
03:49logic goes out the window. Stick to aircrafts and tinkering, Tails. Number 7, Dogmeat. Fallout 4.
03:56Dogs are generally considered to be man's best friend. You've got unwavering loyalty, a constant
04:02companion. You can't fault them. You can fault their digital counterparts, though, when they
04:07cause players to die umpteen times. Dogmeat, the stray that the player adopts early on in Fallout
04:134, is a prime example of this, prioritising willful obedience over something as integral as
04:19longevity. You can't blame him, really. He's not going to know the difference between loyalty and
04:23suicidal tendencies, is he? At least that's the only reason I can think of as to why he'll charge
04:29into proximity mines if you accidentally direct him that way, or while he'll wander into your
04:33line of fire slash explosion in a valiant effort to defend you. Good thing there's no morality
04:39meter in this game, or players would seem like ripe bastards. It's not the end of the world if
04:44Dogmeat does catch some friendly fire or accidental blast radius. It's just a constant pain in the
04:49butt for players who have to wait until the battle is over to go pick his little fuzzy butt up.
04:54Immortal? Maybe. Annoying? Absolutely. Number 6, Trip. Enslaved, Odyssey to the West. In this loose
05:02adaptation of the Chinese fable, the relationship between Tripitaka and Monkey is already strained
05:07from the start. Well, putting an explosive proximity control device on someone and enslaving them
05:13tends to do that. But as the unlikely pair start to bond, Trip trusts Monkey to do the grunt work
05:19and scout out safe passage. Which is fine, except for when she decides not to follow and Monkey goes
05:24one step too far and explodes. It breaks the flow of the gameplay when players want to push forward
05:30and the fickle Tripitaka decides she won't climb that ledge and sets off the proximity popper on
05:35Monkey's braincase. Or when players are off exploring when the game allows some extra length,
05:40only to be cut short by Trip startling some enemies and getting herself kidnapped and taken
05:44out of range. Sure, there are times when the game calls for it, but at other times it's a
05:49right pain when your companion literally brings your progress to a halt. Why Monkey doesn't just
05:55carry her and chuck her in a bush when he needs to fight is beyond me. Number five, Maria. Silent
06:00Hill 2. When it comes to survival horror, it's usually hard enough trying to keep the protagonist
06:06from meeting a terrible fate, let alone somebody else. If they can handle themselves then it's the
06:11more the merrier, but as you've probably gathered from this list so far, it's not really the case
06:16here. James Sunderland is already having a right time of it in Silent Hill already. You know, what
06:21with that whole letter from a dead wife, geometric headed relentless fiend in pursuit stick going on.
06:26What he doesn't need is a survivor with a death wish bigger than James' guilt complex. That'll
06:31make sense if he finished it. Escort missions are a burden most of the time anyway, but this one goes
06:36the extra mile. Should Maria take too much damage from either James or the manifestations that the
06:42titular town has conjured up, it can and will affect an ending. Which wouldn't be so bad if
06:47Maria didn't have an obnoxious habit of getting right in the way of James' flailing about in a
06:52fight. In a game like this with such sticky combat, it can be an extra contrivance to keep an eye on
06:58her. Number four, Jung. Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas 2. In the world of highly trained special
07:04operatives sent into dangerous locales and volatile situations, you can expect your team to work as a
07:10well-oiled machine. But all that it takes is one loose cog to disrupt that flow and that's where
07:16Jung Park comes in. When your team works well in the R6 Vegas games, it's great. The level of
07:21precision and tactics required to clear missions room by room is some of the slickest around,
07:26for its time. But keeping the protagonist alive isn't the player's only concern. They have to
07:31look after their team too. Your other companion, Walker, is self-sufficient and has the common
07:37sense to not get shot much. Not Jung though, no no. Take your eye off him though or leave him to
07:43what you'd think is taking out the enemy shooting at him and you'll hear Jung down more often than
07:48you'd like to, which is a good dozen more times than necessary. What makes it worse is if players
07:53have to risk themselves to pick the daft spod back up again, repeatedly. Seriously, Jung could
07:59incapacitate himself in a room with a folding chair if you left him there. Number three, Shiva.
08:05Resident Evil 5. Ashley Graham gets a load of flack in Resi 4, what with the annoying voice
08:10and the kidnaps, but that could be tolerated, mostly. What she didn't do, however, was waste all
08:16of your precious ammo and healing items at every opportunity. No, that honor goes to Shiva Alamar,
08:22BSAA agent, Chris Redfield's partner, and all-round inconvenience when being handled by the AI.
08:29In human-controlled co-op, it's amazing to have another helping hand. It's when she's controlled
08:33by the AI that we run into problems. Normally you'd think rationing out the firepower accordingly
08:39would be fair, and it would, but Shiva doesn't do normal. She'll waste a few magnum rounds on
08:44a standard enemy rather than the surplus handgun ammo she's carrying. But worse than wasting ammo
08:50is wasting your high-strength healing items instead. For example, if Chris takes a tiny
08:55bump or throwing axe to the head, that's nothing a little green herb can't fix. Yet if Shiva's got
09:00a full health-filling first aid spray in her hands, she won't hesitate to use it. You literally have
09:05to run away and heal quicker than it takes your AI partner to catch up to you, which is worrying
09:11when there are bigger threats in the game. Number 2. Natalya, Goldeneye. In Pierce Brosnan's first
09:17outing in Goldeneye, Natalya Simonova broke away from the Bond Girl trope. Well, a bit. She still
09:23becomes a love interest by the end, but for the majority is a savvy foil to Brosnan's bond. A
09:28survivor throughout, Natalya becomes integral to the spy's plan to thwart Trevelyan and the titular
09:33weaponized satellite device. In the video game tie-in on Nintendo 64, however, that logic didn't
09:39carry over. Rather than accepting that she's not a battle-trained agent, the polygonal counterpart
09:45would do her best to eat every bullet. It's almost like she took national patriotism too far,
09:51taking the bullet for each of her fellow countrymen over this English pig dog killing them
09:55all. Or at least that's what it felt like, as you attempt to clear the room of enemies intent on
09:59killing you both. You had to pick your shots carefully on these escort missions, as Natalya
10:05has an annoying habit of running in the way of fire, friendly or otherwise. It wasn't at all
10:11uncommon to see the words, Natalya has died, which is pretty darn frustrating when you were all the
10:16way at the end of the mission. Number 1. Roach. The Witcher 3, The Wild Hunt. When you start a
10:22Witcher game, it may seem odd that Geralt has a disconnect with his horses. Calling each one
10:26Roach, our hero seems to bear no significant attachment to his mares, unlike say Wanda from
10:32Shadow of the Colossus. Then as you come out of a tavern and find your horse atop the adjacent roof,
10:37you begin to see why. I'm personally playing through The Witcher 3 right now for the very
10:42first time, and whilst I appreciate Roach and I think she's gotten a lot better,
10:46boy does this horse love to jam itself on a small fence midway through a really important race.
10:52Whilst it's unreasonable to expect your horse to stick to you every step of the way,
10:56when you summon them and they're in what seems like the next county, it can be a pain to wait.
11:01Or better still, when a player summons their trusty steed and finds her stuck on a branch,
11:05or a fence post, or something that may not even be real, yet still enough to hinder them from
11:10coming to you. Over time said a project Red did fix up some bits and pieces with Roach's AI,
11:15but not all of them. Plenty of players like me are still finding frustration with her puzzling
11:21programming. Whilst the world of Temeria and the Bordering Lands is beautiful to take in,
11:25when your horse decides that it wants to be a scaffolder when you summon it,
11:29it somewhat ruins the illusion. That's the end of our list of the most unreliable video game
11:34companions ever, but if you can think of any more, be sure to write them in that comment section
11:38below. As always, I've been Jess from WhatCulture, thank you so much for hanging out with me.
11:44If you like, you can come say hi to me on my Twitter account, where I'm
11:47at JessMcDonald, but make sure you stay tuned to us here for plenty more great gaming content.