00:00 A new WWE Championship announced! CM Punk's Vince McMahon promo line reaction revealed!
00:06 My review of AEW Dynamite. And finally, at the end of this episode, I will announce the
00:13 winner of our poll to objectively decide the best promo of all time! No re-dos between
00:21 CM Punk's Pipe Bomb… and Steiner Maths. I'm Oli Davis, and this is the WrestleTalk
00:36 News.
00:37 Do you ever watch all these great wrestling matches you get on TV, free, multiple times
00:42 a week and think "that's a bit long though, innit"? Just like every big movie is 3 hours
00:46 these days, all the matches are 15 minutes plus. Why can't more things be superficially
00:52 digestible to fit my increasingly deteriorating attention span?
00:56 WWE has the answer. Take speed. Their new online wrestling show, not amphetamines.
01:06 Last month, the promotion announced a new experimental wrestling show called WWE Speed,
01:12 which would stream exclusively on the social media platform X. Or Twitter to you, Grandad.
01:18 When the project was first revealed, Michael Cole described the matches as being "up
01:22 to five minutes in length". That's pretty quick, but could still just about tell an
01:27 insanely fast paced story. But they've since realised that's too slow. So matches will
01:36 now be competed under a strict 3 minute time limit. The announcement also revealed the
01:43 3rd April start date for the show, which is next week, and that the matches will be for
01:47 the promotion's newest title - the Speed Championship. The inaugural champion will
01:54 be crowned via a tournament. Do you think 3 minute matches will work? Let
01:58 me know in the comments down below because I'll be replying to people FROM OUTTA REALLY
02:01 QUICKLY. This week's episode of Raw is being hailed
02:04 as one of the greatest wrestling shows ever, and a big part of that is the looser, more
02:08 improvisational approach to some of its segments. Fightful Select already confirmed that the
02:13 CM Punk, Seth Rollins and Drew McIntyre segments had an outline, which was produced by Adam
02:18 Pearce, but the wrestlers were allowed to go off script to see where improvisation would
02:23 take them. Which is a brave thing to do with CM Punk and the live mic. He could start putting
02:28 over Mindy's muffins again. And unpredictability is what happened.
02:32 Punk swore, catching the production team by surprise, and referenced listening to Jim
02:36 Cornette's podcast. But the biggest moment came when Drew referred to himself as the
02:41 Chosen One, for Punk to dare him to say the name of the person who called him that.
02:49 According to PWInsiderElite, Punk's Voldemort McMahon reference was met with a hush backstage
02:54 in production. However, this was reportedly as far as it went, with no repercussions for
02:59 Punk afterwards, and the segment overall was well received backstage.
03:03 WWE executive Sphincters might tighten even more, though, with the news that Punk is set
03:08 for his first 'shoot' interview since joining the company in November.
03:13 Airing on the 1st April, Ariel Hawani has promised there will be no restrictions, with
03:18 nothing being taboo in their conversation. Although you'd expect certain things to
03:23 very much have restrictions, if there are legal NDAs in place following Punk's AEW
03:28 exit. Now over to Turbo Jack with a message for
03:32 all our incredible Patreons. I'm AEW's wrestler Turbo Jack, and Turbo
03:36 Jack wants you all to know that Turbo Jack does read the comments. Turbo Jack knows there's
03:42 loads of little turbs out there. Little turbs who post things like 'Turbo Jack, he's the
03:49 only guy who can defeat Roman Reigns at WrestleMania'. Turbo Jack hears you, you little turbs. Turbs,
03:57 if you can, reach out, touch my hand on the screen now. We can do it. We can get Turbo
04:05 Jack in the main event of WrestleMania. Put your hand right there. That's the way to
04:11 transfer the energy. And also, by going over to patreon.com/wrestledog to get loads of
04:19 exclusive content and your shoutout on this very show from Turbo Jack. Here's out to
04:25 my little turbs like the $100 man CB Horvath, Big Jiggy, Josh Martin, Double L, Liam Leonard,
04:33 The Pin, Echo of Success, Luke Kelly, The Met Man, Matthew Allen, Abominable Michael
04:39 Hammond, Bryan 'Disco' Stewart and where there's a will, there's a will, Campbell.
04:45 What a turb to finish on. Because Turbo Jack has the will to make it to WrestleMania. Patreon.com/wrestledog
04:54 Now it's Thursday, you know what that means. My review of AEW Dynamite… in about 5 minutes.
05:09 Not 3 minutes, that's too quick. There's an old story that when Eric Bischoff
05:12 was revamping WCW, he looked at everything his main competitor was doing, the WWF, and
05:18 just did the opposite. They're taped, so we'll be live. They're family friendly,
05:23 so we'll be edgy. They had a sustainable business model, we'll lock ourselves in
05:27 to guarantee contracts that'll become an increasing burden. Of course, that didn't
05:31 end well. But the initial strategy was sound. Don't fight your competitor on their home
05:36 turf. Emphasise what makes your product special and distinct.
05:41 So in a road to WrestleMania where Raw is increasingly filled with awesome in-ring talking
05:46 segments, perhaps Tony had a similar thought. Because this episode of Dynamite was wall-to-wall
05:51 great wrestling matches with not a single in-ring promo.
05:56 Like the opening bout, just a casual dream match with Will Ospreay and Shibata seven
06:00 years in the making. They are two very different men since they last fought, though. Shibata
06:05 suffered a head injury and has had to totally change his wrestling style to compete, and
06:09 Ospreay is now the best wrestler in the world. Which meant he could adapt to cover any of
06:14 Shibata's limitations. Technical mat wrestling sequence? Bruv. Ospreay
06:18 can do that. Strikes to the head that are hopefully actually safe? Bruv. Ospreay can
06:23 do that. Making Shibata look awesome with kickouts at one? Bruv. Ospreay's got you
06:29 covered. Will ultimately won with a head and blade,
06:31 and they bowed to each other in a show of respect afterwards. We then got a video package
06:35 of Bryan Danielson, who will face Ospreay at USAID Dynasty. I say Dynasty, let's call
06:42 the whole thing… um… what's another word for Dynasty? Bloodline!
06:50 Rock Roman Reigns, Paul Heyman, Jimmy Uso and Solo Sakura to AEW confirmed!
06:53 There were a lot of hype videos building up specific wrestlers on this show, making the
06:57 episode feel really focused on either matches on the night or at the pay-per-view.
07:02 After suggesting to Renee Paquette that she smile more, Matthew and Nicholas Jackson took
07:06 on Private Party in an incredibly fun tag team tournament quarterfinal.
07:11 Because Private Party famously beat the Bucks on the second ever episode of Dynamite, also
07:15 in a tournament, it felt like they could get an upset win at any point here too. Context
07:20 which only added to both teams' chemistry and athleticism.
07:24 After a bunch of title shots and dick kicks, title shots and dick kicks title of your next
07:27 indie wrestling show, the Bucks won with… half an EVP trigger. I say half because Nicholas
07:33 hilariously slipped and didn't really hit his part.
07:36 Because Darby Allin's broken his foot, he's going to be raising money for Tony Hawk's
07:40 skatepark charity instead of climbing Mount Everest. Pussy.
07:44 Chris Jericho's proposal to Hook was… he's going to give him some advice. Not quite
07:49 the big reveal it felt like they were building. Hook accepted, but with his eyes wide open
07:53 on how often Jericho betrays people.
07:55 The Saviour's Monet joined commentary for the next match at the top of the hour, likely
07:59 a scheduling ploy to catch more viewers changing the channel. It was for Willow Nightingale
08:03 vs Anna Jay vs Chris Statlander vs Sky Blue to decide the TBS title's number one contender.
08:09 I liked that it had stakes, that Monet was able to further her Willow tension on commentary,
08:13 and Nightingale winning the decent match was the right result.
08:17 Even though it's only one full women's segment or match on the episode, the division
08:21 feels the most important it has in ages - quality over quantity.
08:26 But speaking of substance… feel like Mercedes should've done something of it by now. Julia
08:31 Hart attacked Willow afterwards, and stared down Monet.
08:34 Dustin Rhodes set up a match against The Butcher for Rampage. We got another fun Tony Storm
08:38 skit on Turner Classic Movies. The best friends Cassidy and Trent took on
08:41 Undisputed Kingdom's Taven and Bennett in the second tag team tournament quarterfinal
08:45 next in a good match. I really, really like Taven and Bennett, always have done. But my
08:50 God, what is AEW doing with the Undisputed Kingdom?
08:54 I get Cassidy and Trent advancing, because that puts them against the Bucks in the cement.
08:58 That's the better dynamic of faces vs heels.
09:01 But giving the Undisputed Kingdom another loss after Wardlow just lost clean to Samoa
09:06 Joe after being built up for months is really damaging this faction.
09:11 Roderick Strong tried to interfere, but an injured Chuck Taylor stopped him, making Strong
09:15 the TNT Champion look totally ineffectual. That's when UK could've had Wardlow come
09:19 in to actually pose some threat. Another significant loss for the Undisputed
09:24 Kingdom. Their first quarter of 2024, after 2023 set them up as the biggest heels in the
09:30 company, has been atrocious. Just one more thing. The Bucks came out to stare down the
09:35 best friends afterwards. They then exited via the descending Cody Vader, but seemed
09:40 to squat to go down quicker. Which was visually hilarious.
09:44 Kyle O'Reilly told Renee he's very happy to have beaten Brian Keith, and he doesn't
09:48 feel like he needs the Undisputed Kingdom. Bruv, nobody needs the Undisputed Kingdom.
09:53 Not even members of the Undisputed Kingdom. We got a very good video package of Edge announcing
09:59 the return of the Coke Open Challenge for Saturday's collision, and the main event
10:03 was an awesome 20 minute match to determine Samoa Joe's World Championship No. 1 contender
10:09 Swerve Strickland vs Tekeshter. They somehow managed to be very back and
10:13 forth, while Tekeshter felt like he was in complete control. He had hit a Brainbuster
10:18 early on, which Swerve sold like he'd lost all strength in his left arm. It meant that
10:22 while Strickland kept throwing moves at Tekeshter, they didn't have the same power behind them.
10:26 It was one of those matches where both guys come out looking better, even though one of
10:30 them lost. Tekeshter kicked out of a last call and Swerve-Stomp combo, which I thought
10:35 was setting up Swerve's submission win he debuted from last week. But I'm guessing
10:38 AEW wanted to protect Tekeshter by not having him tap, so he got pinned off a sick JML driver
10:44 instead. This week's Dynamite is 75%. But the percentage
10:49 the wrestling world is far more invested in is the results of Pipebomb vs Math.
10:57 After Luke's incredibly bad take last month, where he chose Steiner Maths as the best promo
11:01 ever on TLC, and a lot of people who have been trolling me since because I think CM
11:07 Punk's Pipebomb is better, I put out a poll yesterday to objectively find the truth.
11:12 Nearly 5,000 have voted, and the result is in. It's a given, so I'll just cast my
11:17 deciding vote for the Pipebomb to find out. And the result is… Math! The public has
11:33 chosen Math! That's not right. It's a joke. Because Pipebomb has 36%, which is really
11:50 close to 33% in a third percent chance. Ok, I get it. It's bots. It's the bots. It's
11:59 definitely bots at play there. Big Math is funding an agenda against me. Redo. We're
12:05 going to do another poll, ok? And it's live now. It's on our YouTube community tab.
12:13 Go over there. Vote. We'll get the right result this time. Don't worry. It's very
12:18 democratic this. Do the right thing. And also, while you're there, I'll include
12:22 a link to my essay video on how The Rock has taken over WWE behind the scenes. Please watch
12:27 that and sharing it around too.
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